Woops forgot to mention, but Alan's username is Xanaucamzaki, for those curious. Anyway, what are your thoughts on LDRs and online relationships? And would you like to see more videos where I discuss this topic? Please let me know!! 😊
with the low (extremely low-) chance that i would get a boyfriend, i wouldnt mind if our relationship were to be a ldr, just hoping they dont cheat on me tho-
IMO online relationships, or to be more specific, online friends, are somewhere in the middle. You can't call them just mere strangers cause you get along with them, you socialize and interact with them and share each other's interests. But at the same time they're not on the level of true genuine friends (then again it could be subjective to ppl), cause like you said, you don't really get to see the bigger picture behind the screen, only to some extent. Anyways, nice vid Yuu (:
Agreed. Online friendships/romance can really only work imo if both sides are honest and open. I don't think they're all doomed from the start but being around a person irl clues you in to more about the person than talking ever will.
online relationships require so much trust and effort which is why I'm scared of getting into one bc its always worrying about one another and I'm afraid of getting played.
I don't think it's fair to say it's not a real relationship, I just think it's a limited relationship. Honestly your logic of "you don't know what they are really like" also applies to dating someone versus living with someone. When you're dating someone and going on dates with them regularly, you're still getting a very filtered version of them. You still don't know what they're like when they are sick, how they act when they're spending time by themselves without you, or how they load the dishwasher wrong. For example before I lived with my boyfriend I didn't know that he likes to spend the majority of his day in discord calls, or that I'm way messier than him and my "normal" level of mess bothers him and I'd have to start to be tidier. Those things could also be deal breakers to other people, and you won't find out before you start living with them. However I wouldn't take that to mean that people who don't live together "aren't really in a relationship", they're just in a less physically close relationship.
I totally agree with you!! Even if you do date LDR or even IRL, there indeed will still be a certain percentage of uncertainty / unknown factors when it comes to their behaviour. So I do very much agree that you'll only really get to see the most truthful version of themselves when actually living together. However I personally think that the main distinction between online vs LDR relationships for me is that with online you literally have 0 frame of reference for who the person is outside of the video calls, while in an LDR you get to spend various days, sometimes even weeks of uninterrupted time with them. Essentially living together for a short period of time. It exposes you to not just their habits and routines in various sorts of situations, but also a lot of the non-verbal communication that is often lacking in online interactions. Of course it still doesn't give you the complete image of the other person, as the activities you participate in might be very different from your regular day to day life (again, that you can only truly experience if you're living together), but it gives you a much broader frame of reference to base your perception on, compared to having a perception largely based on assumptions. I can't really speak much on behalf of IRL relationships unfortunately, as I've personally never been in one before. Either way, thank you very much for sharing your opinion!! It's always nice to hear other people's point of view 😊
Long distance friendships are tough too. I still have some friends living in the Netherlands, while I live in Canada. You need to be very proactive to start a good conversation.
As a person who met my GF online from other country, I'm totally agree what you say in the video... I guess this is like a Lottery, in my case, I came to her country to live and find a better life, and the thing that scared me the most was how is gonna be the IRL day time with her, sadly we couldn't be able live together yet, but she helped me to find a job where she were working so we spend most of the day together, I even cooked for her every day... We have 10 years together by now and we don't know how the time passed so fast. It's difficult to me recommend LDR even if I were lucky, but, every person is different. All I can say is the communication and honesty is key, and don't be scare to show your flaws, that's the first step to be a better person and the other person to know what to really expect of you.
Awww thank you for sharing your story!! And yeh I highly agree, it's difficult to recommend an LDR unless you're a specific type of person who's love language doesn't involve heavy relies on physical touch / can put up with long periods of time with not seeing each other IRL. It's definitely not for everyone.
I actually am rare. I met my husband on an online dating website. We met online first. We've been married since 2016. :3 (Yes, living in the same house.) We lived 9 hours away haha. I actually was SOOO bitter towards him when I first talked to him. I even stated the fact I don't do long distance.. Yet.. Here we are haha.
Eh I couldn't be mad at what you said at the beginning because both relationships I've been in were irl relationships to long distance. And I ended both of them myself because I couldn't handle it.
IRL to long distance can be really tough yeh. I think it also really depends on the person, as it has a lot to do with love language stuff. If your love language involves a lot of physical contact, then LDR's are gonna be really really tough. But good for you for knowing when to call it quits 😊 Don't put yourself through unnecessary emotional stress if it doesn't outweigh the benefits.
Welp, that depends on the honesty level of the online couple and if they don't care to show weaknesses and describe themselves as much as possible. Most people on the internet choose to just show parts of their true self rather than the whole deal, and tend to just ramble around the same topics and behaviours all the time. For an online relationship to work, you gotta try as much as possible completely intentionally by the two parts, to know each other in literally every area of your life, no matter if its something bad, no matter is something you regret, just about anything. And you gotta be transparent as glass and try to get questions and questionnaires from the internet for asking your online partner questions about themselves. I am in a online relationship like that since 8 months ago, and it works completely fine for me. I agree that if you don't do these things and stay in the normal average superficiality of online social interactions, that isn't a real relationship, but I firmly believe that if the two are willing to try their best, something at least close to a LDR can emerge. That's my opinion about it, and my experience. Good video though, I just stumbled upon this channel and I'm subscribing!
I’m someone who falls firmly in the “dating someone from high school” camp. Your original line about “visual novel on hard mode” is very accurate. Going LDR adds very few positives and a whole lot of additional complication to a relationship’s dynamic. It makes communication harder, demands better emotional organization, and saps your motivation to stay invested. The one positive aspect of being LDR for me is that the distance makes it easier for me to get my partner to spend more time on that ridiculous list of things we have to watch together.
Very true yeh. It takes a shit ton of dedication and work to go from IRL to LDR to maintain the relationship. Love languages in that case also become a lot more important, seeing how physical touch is kinda taken out of the equation and might make things extra tough for the possible person who relies on such things. Good luck with your LDR!!
Great video, imho even having a close relationship is not the same as living together! it's like the farther away, the more idealized, and easier to hide stuff...
Very true yeh! I highly agree that living together is probably the only way to really get to know a truest form of a person. As you indeed still only "live together" for very short periods of time when dating IRL (staying over for a couple of days). Though I would argue difference between IRL dating to living together is less jarring than the difference in online to LDR. As with the former you already have a decent frame of reference for the other person IRL, while with the latter you have none.
Honestly completely agree with your take on Online != LDR. If I end up developing feelings for someone that lives far for me I instantly start thinking about how the REAL relationship would plan out. I often ask myself things like "can I eventually live with this person and who would need to move where? Am I comfortable giving up my life here for this person or are they very close to their family/friends/environment such that they can't move to me?". LDR definitely feels like a precursor and a phase that I wouldn't want to be too long in. I personally feel like it also helps build independence, if you have a healthy LDR that allows both parties to live their life while spending occasional time together than I think that increases your chances at a healthy REAL relationship. In irl relationships I feel it's important to both support each other and let each other do your own things every so often. LDR can really show if your partner has patience and doesn't purely rely on you being there with you all the time. This turned very long but I'd love to hear more of your take on relationship stuff, I agree with your points so far and it's a very hot topic for me rn (came out of a horrible LDR a year ago and wanted my next relationship to be irl BUT I'm really interested in someone that lives far away .-.) Anyway, great video! Hope you are well and that you can get to see each other very soon again!
There's a reason why I, even when I do the mouthytalk, address friendships with different kinda emphasis. Example 1 - Friends: The people I know better than most and who I've allowed to get to know me very well. I trust my Friends and am open with them, both in regards to stuff that gets me happy and excited, but also, and far more importantly imo, the kinda stuff that gets me anxious. I only talk with my Friends about things like depression, sadness and psychological problems. Likewise, I only feel comfortable listening to my Friends when they talk about stuff that's currently getting them anxious, depressed or psychological problems of their own. It can be some very personal and sensitive stuff after all, so of course it's stuff that should be reserved for people you trust. Example 2 - friends: These are people that I'm acquainted with. People who I've talked with and stuff but that I do not know nearly well enough to trust. Some of them I do not even _want_ to get to know deeper than this because whenever subjects have turned towards deeper, more meaningful stuff, they've revealed opinions that are fundamentally incompatible with my own world view and things have gotten tense. Still, it's not like I can do anything about the fact that we _have_ gotten to know each other on some deeper level, even if we do not agree with each other, and even though we may disagree with each other I still do not necessarily dislike them enough to terminate our friendship, so they are still friends to some extent at least. Example 3 - "friends": These are the people who seem to think that just because they and I have participated in the same discussion at some point in the past, that means we've somehow become friends... These people I generally have no idea who they really are, sometimes to the extent that I have never even learned their names, and I'm uncertain if the person I've gotten to know is really them or just a persona. It's possible that I wouldn't mind getting to know them better, but I haven't done so yet and I would sooner consider them something closer to strangers than people I actually know at present. Almost all people I've ever had amicable conversations with online go into this category and the only exceptions to that rule are the very, very rare people that I've eventually gotten to know IRL.
It's always been hard for me to imagine people online as actual real people with real lives. It's always felt more like I'm just interacting with a bunch of chat bots. I think humans need to be physically close to one another to really connect. Or at least I do.
That's totally fair yeh!! It's very common for people to need that physical interaction aspect to really feel connected to someone. In that case an LDR indeed is not gonna be your cup of tea.
I really fall in love with all of a person. People who are looking for a comitment on Tinder before seeing them irl freak me out. I don't know if they smell nice or more like sulfur. So when one of my friends claimed to have an online bf 4 hours away, I encouraged them to meet. But I also tell them not to hold the relationship as high as they do (she's spending 8 hours a day to him) while not being sure if he smells funny. She refused to meet him irl, and now still hasn't seen him. Meanwhile they started "dating" pre-pandemic and their drama is over 100 now. If this is his best side, how controlling will he be irl?
It makes me low key sad. I pretty much agree with your opinion. But me and my bf met online and just fell in love at some point. But due to us not having the money back then and then Covid coming arond the corner we still couldn't meet. It's just so frustrating that we've had to cancel it...
I can see why online relationships can not be a real relationship. but even with irl and LDR relationships. Yes you can see the habits of another person but they still can hide some dubious behavior or it can sour after awhile. But this is a person speaking from others accounts and has not been in a relationship since his birth. So yeah.... all that being said it was a nice video yuu!
Yeh but that's more a matter of not being transparent/honest with your partner, which imo is a giant red flag, as it really should be the foundation of a relationship. Clear and open communication is vital to make any relationship work long term. Doesn't matter if its IRL, LDR or online. But thank you very much!! 😊
The way you sparkle your videos with your amazing positive energy and witty approach makes them so enoyable! To a point I don't necessarily need to be too invested into the subject, the presentation is just too good. You're cool.
This is all great advice, hard to hear but great. I'm currently in an online relationship I suppose and it's really important to be realistic. Im hopeful for mine though because we both like each other and have great chemistry. But I think meeting her in person is really the true test of what it will turn into.
Awww wish you two the best of luck!! If you're open and transparent with one another there's a very high chance you two will get along just fine IRL. Though there will always remain that tiny factor of unpredictability.
I live the unfortunate lifestyle of spending most of my time on the internet so that means most of the people I meet live anywhere but here. I've been in an online/Long distance relationship and it was fun while it lasted, we saw each other only twice and broke up after a year. Maybe I'm just not well adjusted but I find irl relationships way harder to initiate on account of the lack of a "prep stage" as you put it.
I had a long distance relationship with someone from a completely different continent. We were both very open, honest, and authentic. As soon as we met irl, after 2 years, everything went perfectly. As soon as we met, it wasn’t awkward nor weird. It didn’t feel like rediscovering each other nor meeting someone else. We were immediately very comfortable with each other, and acted like a couple that’s been together from the start.
I know this an old video but as someone who has dated online and is currently dating online it takes alot out of you and needs the will and a good foundation in order to work cause you never know the real person behind the screen but luckily my current one isn't that far but you need to maintain a healthy amount of interaction in order to keep the sail afloat.
i’ve been in an online relationship for a year now and it definitely weighs on you, especially being in a developmental stage (becoming adults) it really makes me wonder if it’s a good idea. They are about a day and a half drive away from me and we’ve been talking about meeting up when we get the chance and finances, and it’s a motivator for me to start working and all that. But sometimes I get anxious about it and wonder if i’m wasting my final year of high school in a sense? Anyways I completely agree with your opinion, and having someone you care about so deeply being far away sucks a lot.
Hi hi. I found this pretty funny..just because i am also Dutch and i am also in a long distance relationship with someone from the UK for around 2.5 years now. For my experience i definetly would not give up and end it because i love my bf and he loves me. Though it does get difficult with visiting and stuff. BUT i do totally agree that when you are in a ldr the moments you are together irl are so important. Me and my bf are planning to be together for the first time upcomming christmas so that will be fun! Goodbyes are going to be hard though.
Not in a romantic context but online friendship doesnt feel real either. I met a few people in game chats over the years and they never last. Someone stops playing a game, doesnt join your calls, or cuts contact for no reason. Its superficial. Anything online doesnt feel real.
Thanks a lot for your thoughts, Yuunari. I learned a lot from the phases and the definitionz to be honest. The effort surely is real. The last few months meeting in person has become hard, so even friendships are now getting much harder. I agree with your problem with online relationship. I think online aquaintances can be great buddies though. Wouldn't wanna marry those persons though. Please ramble more about relationships and the struggles 🙏 Love the Touhou bgm by the way🎶, like always
hey, thanks for this video, having new understanding about different types of dating cuz i dont have any dating experiance yet, so this video can help a lot! congrats on 100k too!
I'm glad someone agrees with me on this. I have online dated before but the actual human connection isn't there. The bond isn't at all the same, you can't hold someone's gamertag and feel good about it, like-- thank God you made a video on this
Again like I mentioned an online relationship can definitely turn into an LDR, but it does take a lot of time and effort. The online bond in and of itself though indeed is hard to compare to an offline one.
I agree , right now im on a LDR because a girl i met in person fell in love with me and sadly i had to go back to my home country bc personal reasons and legal reasons, so i love her too but we have met in person
I live in the Netherlands and i have a friend in Japan, i don't have any other friends it's hard to make friends and i never had a relationship before. And next year if corona is all gone i go to Japan and maybe be able to meet my only online friend I don't even have real life friends
That's sad. But I have the same problem as you: I can't make any friends! I moved to Hawaii because of my work contract which is 3 years long. But at least I still have my friends back home who still keep in touch, and my family as well.
i don't agree overall, but i agree with most of your points as you said, descriptions don't tell the whole picture i've never even been in a video call with my boyfriend, so i don't know how he speaks, what his voice is like, etc
Honestly I am planning to turn my online relationship into an ldr in the next year. Covid fucked up my plans (like most people ;v;) to see my bf this year, so I can only hope things work out to me in '22. We have been dating for a year and I am genuinely excited to finally meet him face to face :)
Hey! Are u enjoying it even tho it's only online? Not to be rude but I'm hesitant and i Don't wanna go through something that I'll regret,nor i want to hurt the other person :)
@@ghostie5995 Ahh I just saw it, and yes! Two and half years and still kicking it :) it's really just a matter of communication and understanding each other. However, if you aren't ready for such a thing I would not recommend it; since it can be very harmful. There are times where we get distant, but we genuinely love each other, and will do anything for one another
I have Long Distant Friendships in the Netherlands, U.K, and I guess some others but all I know is that it'll kind of be hard to maintain or else they'll lose interest to even try to chat. That's kind of all I know.
For someone who start with online relationship and move to long distance relationship. We meet irl couple of times already and we both are not that different from how we are online so I suppose it does help. We get along extremely well both online and irl and I have to agree the goal is to close the distance permanently we don't enjoy being in a LDR but we both live in different countries and met online so just have to pass through this first
i agree with you mostly, I as a closeted gay person in an eastern european country have only had the luxury of having two online relationships so far, and that line about seeing them as a more perfect version and not dating their real selves hit hard cuz another friend said the same thing, Overall what im trying to say is that the first online relationship I had was horrible for me and left me in quite a qoozy for a while but i matured a lot from it and learned a lot, stopped being possessive and such annoying bs. I went into my second relationship much more mature but the whoe time i couldnt help but think damn i wish i could date irl instead. So overall I jsut want to say:online relationships suck, theyre just as emotionally draining as real ones with 200% the pain
Aww I'm very sorry to hear about your bad experience. But yeh it really sucks not being able to have that other person close by IRL. Being able to date IRL can add a whole other dimension to your relationship. Hence why, if you feel you've found the right person and the other person feels the same, being very confident that things will work out, to give it all you got, cause it is very much possible that in the near future, you two would be able to date IRL. But on the other hand, LDRs aren't for everyone, especially if you crave that IRL interaction / physical touch love language. So in that case it indeed must majorly suck to not really have any other option. I wish you the best of luck!!
I was in an online relationship with my partner for 1.5 years before we met up for the first time. It was another 6 months before we could even live in the same country. Then 6 months before we could move in with each other. Then another year before we got married. That was back in 2016 and we're still together.
In my experience the 'Online' and 'LDR' portions of our relationship were virtually identical. We were both creative types and spent 20+ hours in calls every week discussing and working on various projects together. It involved a lot of dedication, problem solving, and stress, but we had each others backs through all of it. It's hard not to know someone inside and out when you have that experience.
For us, the physical aspect of the relationship was entirely secondary. We didn't bother with video calls most days when screen sharing was an option to show what we were working on. When we were finally able to move in together after 2.5 years, something just clicked - as if we had been living together all along and just woke up from a long dream. They were exactly the person that I always knew them to be and our bond was stronger than ever before.
I'm aware that my experience is unique, as the "Online =/= LDR" distinction WILL hold true in most situations. However, as an exception to the rule I figured there might be something of value here.
I mean same case was kinda with me and Alan. Our bond IRL is pretty much the same as the one we have IRL, though of course there are still certain things that couldn't really be anticipated. Mostly regarding social situations that can't be experienced within a video call setting. Glad to hear things worked out between you two!! But again, as a general rule of thumb I think it's better to remain sceptical (the other person being very different IRL than they are online), to prevent yourself from getting trapped in a fantasy.
Very true yes!! Though imo that still doesn't take a way the fact that online relationships in and of itself can't give you the full picture of a person (and therefore shouldn't be viewed as a legit relationship just yet). Only once you've met IRL, and experienced one another for several days at a time is when it's fair to say you are in a legit relationship. Sure, ideally, the difference in personality should be none, and that probably will be the case if the two people have been completely transparant with one another, but it's always best to assume the person in question may act very different IRL than what they were like online. Again, like I mentioned there's also always certain aspects of a person that simply are impossible to communicate over the internet. Which could be potentially off-putting.
@@Yuunarii What if you only seen that person once in real life but spent hours or the whole day with them before having to go back home? Then could you consider yourself in a relationship?
Old video but I really agree with this. I am LDR with my girlfriend. We met online but met as soon as possible because it's important. Lucky the distance is about the same as you and Alan. The past two years we have spend as much time together as humanly possible (luckily as uni student I have a lot of holidays). I hate it's LDR and it cannot be over sooner. I applied for my visa, but it will still take 3-6 months to get approved but we will get there!
Aww that's really nice to hear!! I always feel bad whenever I read about couples who're half a globe away from eachother. Timezone differences and plane tickets would be an absolute nightmare. But yeh I do very much think meeting up ASAP is extremely important if people wanna follow through with an LDR, in order to get a realistic image of your SO. Seeing whether you have that same chemistry IRL too or not. And whether they are the same sort of person you expected them to be or not. Good luck with your relationship!! 😊
I personally agree with a lot of this stuff, I would def like to see more vids like this! I'll be honest seeing your hot takes on things brings new perspective, just as any opinion should, so i say go for it and make more stuff like this if your willing :3
I agree, online relationships are very different from long distance relationships due to that single difference of meeting the person in person. Of course an online relationship can grow into an LDR but so can almost any relationship due to a lot of factors. I'd have to say though with rona LDR became crazy hard and it ended up being the reason why I split with my ex. The LDR grew into just an online relationship. In the LDR it is very important to have that irl experience to keep it a LDR.
Aww very sorry to hear about your break-up!! But yeh rona has put a major strain on relationships I feel, especially LDR ones. Me and Alan are also starting to get real tired of it. It's been almost half a year since I last saw him, but we're determined to pull through. We both happen to be very lucky that neither of us are very "physical touch" love language oriented, so we don't mind the slightly longer waits in between visits. But 5+ months is really starting eat away at us. Either way, at the very least you and your ex split up on good terms. Online relationships can still make for very good friendships after all!!
I'm in confusing position rn, so I recently started online school for high school but before I was in a elementary through middle school I became friends with this girl and I've been in touch with her still,I like her and I'm pretty sure she likes me to but if she says yes the only pyscial contact would be meeting up which would be akward cause my mom would need to Drive me and I don't know her family,top this ontop of my social anxiety and idk what to do
Aww that's really sweet!! Personally I'd recommend just staying friends for the time being and wait till you're both at least in your early 20s. People change a lot during their teens, so there's a chance you might end up growing apart. That, plus as a teen you'd be missing out on a lot of crucial learning opportunities if you were to already tie yourself to someone who you're not able to see on a regular basis, or possibly have to wait years for to meet, due to financial and travel dependency on your parents. However if you both still hold such feelings for eachother once you're older, and are willing to put in the money and effort, then go for it!! However for now, I'd say staying friends is probably your best option and stick to IRL dating.
My best friend was in touch with her boyfriend for 5 years trough online until she moved to him and they got married and have a kid. They played the same video game together. I never was in real life relationship due to my intrevert trates and my fears so i'm online chatting with my girlfriend. Altough for someone it might not be the same and real and I do understand that. But I rather have her than nothing at all. She is a big mental support for me and we constantly talk about love for one another and how we wish things could of been like. Sadly not for everyone things work the same but self expression is important even if life doesn't bring you the best people real world does not mean you cannot love or suppprt someone online even if you miss few factors of how they are behind the sceen.
That's very nice to hear!! Indeed for mental and emotional support it doesn't quite matter if the person you're talking to is someone IRL or online. Those sorts of needs can easily be fulfilled by a close online friend. If that's all you both really want/need out of a romantic relationship, than kudos to you two!! However seeing how most people do wish to someday live together IRL, build a live together outside of the online space, it is very important to know what the other person is like IRL before you decide to pursue a serious LDR relationship (with the goal of moving in together). Otherwise you could encounter issues you might have not expected further down the line. Not necessarily because the other person hid certain info from you online, but rather than you simply can't experience/know about certain traits of a person unless you've spend time with them in offline settings. Again if that isnt your end goal then good for you!!
Honestly, this is very well put and very well researched. As someone who has been in an LDR. (Yes, we met irl even though like you, it started out online.) It was definitely a lot different than some of my "online relationships." There was more of a connection, and the fact that we were in the same state, made things easier for us. Had things worked out, I'd probably have still been with her, but it wasn't meant to be sadly... Also, is that Sakuya's theme?
My girlfriend lives in the province next to mine. So you could say I'm in a long distance relationship myself. (J.K, we see each other every weekend, so it's not the same 😅)
Once again congrats on 100k! I watch your videos since 2018 i think and I love them! You really deserved that! I agree with you. I was in an online relationship and yeah it was pretty nice but it felt really boring after a while and just not right. It wasn't comparable to an "actual" relationship. We just wanted to meet eachother but never did that so we eventually just broke up. I'm sure it would've been more fun if we actually met irl
Awww thank you very much!! 😊 I think online relationships exclusively can only really persist in platonic form. If you want to be in a serious romantic online relationship then yeh eventually you might run out of stuff to talk about / things to look forward too, especially if meet-up plans can't be realised. It really sucks.
Well..for a person who has online dated, I wouldn't say it's a fake relationship. Some people want to explore and maybe find someone far away for certain reasons. I like a guy all the way in Arizona and I'm in Georgia. I rather have a online relationship right now than a irl one.
I have a question- is it cheating to have a online relationship that u have never met and then a relationship in person? I'm not dating to ppl just I have a online bf but I like my bsf so I don't know if its cheating
If you and the online person are in an exclusive relationship, while you also dating someone IRL then that's definitely cheating. Unless you're polyamorous and the two people know about the existence of eachother and are fine with it.
@@tylynnmoncy3955 I mean in that case I'd say just cut contact with the online person. You're already in an exclusive relationship IRL, so not really fair to be stringing the online person along if youre not going to pursue that relationship. Unless your IRL boyfriend knows about and is OK with your online BF.
What if you only met that person once in real life but spent hours or the whole day with them before having to go back home? Then could you consider yourself in a relationship?
Saying its a fake relationship is unfair to people who overall date and is kinda shitty. Bc well then you are just saying even if the 2 actually love eahother. They are just not actually loving each other
I'm not saying the love people feel for one another isn't real. It's not my place to judge someone's feelings. Feelings are always valid. All I'm saying is that a relationship purely rooted in online interaction can't be seen as the same to one where both people have interacted with one another IRL. For as long as you're missing out on that aspect, your brain will fill in the blanks. Subconsciously or not. Hence why I describe it as being in love with an imagined/idealised version of the other person. Some aspects of a person you literally can't know about through online interaction. Hence why I personally recommend meeting up ASAP irl. The longer you wait, the more chance you might be setting yourself up for disappointment.
I'll probably make a short celebration video quite soonish, but nothing too special. Also had plans to open a PO box for 100K but I think I'll hold off of that for a little longer. The reason for which I'll probably elaborate on in said video.
Depending on what you're specifically referring to with the word relationship, I have mixed opinions about your claim. In the context of romance, I think I largely agree that a long-term, meaningful relationship can be extremely difficult or on some cases even impossible. But in the context of platonic relationships, many of my closest friends come from all over the world and I know I'd feel less fulfilled without them. Also uh... I find it extremely funny that your boyfriend exists in a state where basically the only thing I (we?) know about him is the fact that he sleeps naked. OF ALL THE THINGS YOU HAVE TOLD US ABOUT HIM, IT WAS THIS XD
Ah in this video I'm specifically referring to romantic relationships!! (again I didn't clarify it in the video because I figured the hearts, and the use of the term LDR (which I've never seen used in a platonic way) would signify that I'm purely talking about romantic ones) Sorry if you got the wrong idea!! I do very much agree that online friendships are a very legit thing!! Simply because you don't necessarily strive to meet the other person IRL (while for romantic ones, that is a requirement). The things people look for in friends, can easily be fulfilled by people online. Hahaha I mean I don't mind making a video at some point in the future where I talk some more specifically about our relationship (though I have spoken a little about some of his other habits in a video where I talked about my trip to Scotland last year)
@Yuunarii don't worry too much. I think you made it clear that you were talking about romance, but my comment was just kind about that lingering thought that was wondering "what does she think about platonic relationships tho" Also you talk about whatever it you you want to tbh! I just thought that random detail was really funny and my first thought went to "oh man, I hope he was okay with that info being released to thousands of people" XD Anyhow, keep up the great work as always
In my case i had a LDR with my girlfriend (i say that in the other video) and now i talk to my relashionship with my "adopting" daughter. Yeah,i a 22 years (23 years in march 19) of age had a daughter of 14 age and later that another adopting daughter of 4 age and this two girls are from Meheeco (and i from Argentina). I love my daughters Estrella and Luna (yes that was their names) and their love me as a father and i know this is wierd and more wierd then i meet Estrella in Facebook but i don't care,i love so much my daughters.
Online relationships are real relationships, but you certainly don’t know everything about the other person. I do think it’s a better idea to meet the other person first/meet them decently soon after beginning to date them online of course.
Woops forgot to mention, but Alan's username is Xanaucamzaki, for those curious.
Anyway, what are your thoughts on LDRs and online relationships? And would you like to see more videos where I discuss this topic? Please let me know!! 😊
with the low (extremely low-) chance that i would get a boyfriend, i wouldnt mind if our relationship were to be a ldr, just hoping they dont cheat on me tho-
5:47 Skip here, skip got it
Hmm well I'm in one I live in Oklahoma and he lives in Iowa
IMO online relationships, or to be more specific, online friends, are somewhere in the middle. You can't call them just mere strangers cause you get along with them, you socialize and interact with them and share each other's interests. But at the same time they're not on the level of true genuine friends (then again it could be subjective to ppl), cause like you said, you don't really get to see the bigger picture behind the screen, only to some extent. Anyways, nice vid Yuu (:
Discuss relationships... *Y* *E* *S* ... Not like I don't have experience on relationships or anything...
Not at all
Agreed. Online friendships/romance can really only work imo if both sides are honest and open. I don't think they're all doomed from the start but being around a person irl clues you in to more about the person than talking ever will.
online relationships require so much trust and effort which is why I'm scared of getting into one bc its always worrying about one another and I'm afraid of getting played.
I don't think it's fair to say it's not a real relationship, I just think it's a limited relationship. Honestly your logic of "you don't know what they are really like" also applies to dating someone versus living with someone. When you're dating someone and going on dates with them regularly, you're still getting a very filtered version of them. You still don't know what they're like when they are sick, how they act when they're spending time by themselves without you, or how they load the dishwasher wrong. For example before I lived with my boyfriend I didn't know that he likes to spend the majority of his day in discord calls, or that I'm way messier than him and my "normal" level of mess bothers him and I'd have to start to be tidier. Those things could also be deal breakers to other people, and you won't find out before you start living with them. However I wouldn't take that to mean that people who don't live together "aren't really in a relationship", they're just in a less physically close relationship.
I totally agree with you!! Even if you do date LDR or even IRL, there indeed will still be a certain percentage of uncertainty / unknown factors when it comes to their behaviour. So I do very much agree that you'll only really get to see the most truthful version of themselves when actually living together. However I personally think that the main distinction between online vs LDR relationships for me is that with online you literally have 0 frame of reference for who the person is outside of the video calls, while in an LDR you get to spend various days, sometimes even weeks of uninterrupted time with them. Essentially living together for a short period of time. It exposes you to not just their habits and routines in various sorts of situations, but also a lot of the non-verbal communication that is often lacking in online interactions. Of course it still doesn't give you the complete image of the other person, as the activities you participate in might be very different from your regular day to day life (again, that you can only truly experience if you're living together), but it gives you a much broader frame of reference to base your perception on, compared to having a perception largely based on assumptions.
I can't really speak much on behalf of IRL relationships unfortunately, as I've personally never been in one before.
Either way, thank you very much for sharing your opinion!! It's always nice to hear other people's point of view 😊
Long distance friendships are tough too. I still have some friends living in the Netherlands, while I live in Canada. You need to be very proactive to start a good conversation.
Yeah, I agree as well. It's hard because you don't just hang out, but you always have to actively think about them. I'm super bad at this
Alan’s Dutch sounds pretty good for so far! gekoloniseerd!
Haha thank you, I'll be sure to let him know!! He's been practising quite a bit
Probably better than mine since I don't touch Duolingo often lol, ja mijn Nederlands is slecht
@@chidori7234 yes mine is too 😥
ok but im dutch and- what kind of word is that? xd
As a person who met my GF online from other country, I'm totally agree what you say in the video... I guess this is like a Lottery, in my case, I came to her country to live and find a better life, and the thing that scared me the most was how is gonna be the IRL day time with her, sadly we couldn't be able live together yet, but she helped me to find a job where she were working so we spend most of the day together, I even cooked for her every day... We have 10 years together by now and we don't know how the time passed so fast. It's difficult to me recommend LDR even if I were lucky, but, every person is different. All I can say is the communication and honesty is key, and don't be scare to show your flaws, that's the first step to be a better person and the other person to know what to really expect of you.
Awww thank you for sharing your story!!
And yeh I highly agree, it's difficult to recommend an LDR unless you're a specific type of person who's love language doesn't involve heavy relies on physical touch / can put up with long periods of time with not seeing each other IRL. It's definitely not for everyone.
So wholesome! How long have u been on online dating together if i may ask?
Joder hola Zero. No creí encontrarte aquí, tus vídeos de Touhou junto con Moco y Mamarracho son geniales.
Ostia puta, Zero ola
I actually am rare. I met my husband on an online dating website. We met online first. We've been married since 2016. :3 (Yes, living in the same house.) We lived 9 hours away haha.
I actually was SOOO bitter towards him when I first talked to him. I even stated the fact I don't do long distance.. Yet.. Here we are haha.
Off topic but why do adults have such a different vibe than teenagers
@@odessawales maturity
@@odessawales LEGIT. I'm giving off 12-year old Vibes with my texting style huhu
Eh I couldn't be mad at what you said at the beginning because both relationships I've been in were irl relationships to long distance. And I ended both of them myself because I couldn't handle it.
IRL to long distance can be really tough yeh. I think it also really depends on the person, as it has a lot to do with love language stuff. If your love language involves a lot of physical contact, then LDR's are gonna be really really tough.
But good for you for knowing when to call it quits 😊 Don't put yourself through unnecessary emotional stress if it doesn't outweigh the benefits.
Welp, that depends on the honesty level of the online couple and if they don't care to show weaknesses and describe themselves as much as possible. Most people on the internet choose to just show parts of their true self rather than the whole deal, and tend to just ramble around the same topics and behaviours all the time. For an online relationship to work, you gotta try as much as possible completely intentionally by the two parts, to know each other in literally every area of your life, no matter if its something bad, no matter is something you regret, just about anything. And you gotta be transparent as glass and try to get questions and questionnaires from the internet for asking your online partner questions about themselves. I am in a online relationship like that since 8 months ago, and it works completely fine for me. I agree that if you don't do these things and stay in the normal average superficiality of online social interactions, that isn't a real relationship, but I firmly believe that if the two are willing to try their best, something at least close to a LDR can emerge. That's my opinion about it, and my experience.
Good video though, I just stumbled upon this channel and I'm subscribing!
I completely agree 💯
Excuse me u r still in that relationship how is it going
It's literally uploaded 15 seconds ago and there's already 1 dislike, what the-
She might dislike her own videos
Mood
yea now there is 3 my guess is just bots
Someone might have been cucked lol
all the music in the background gave me the biggest smile when i realized what they were.
I’m someone who falls firmly in the “dating someone from high school” camp. Your original line about “visual novel on hard mode” is very accurate. Going LDR adds very few positives and a whole lot of additional complication to a relationship’s dynamic. It makes communication harder, demands better emotional organization, and saps your motivation to stay invested.
The one positive aspect of being LDR for me is that the distance makes it easier for me to get my partner to spend more time on that ridiculous list of things we have to watch together.
Very true yeh. It takes a shit ton of dedication and work to go from IRL to LDR to maintain the relationship. Love languages in that case also become a lot more important, seeing how physical touch is kinda taken out of the equation and might make things extra tough for the possible person who relies on such things.
Good luck with your LDR!!
Video: romance and relationships
Me, without even a friend: This is interesting!!
Great video, imho even having a close relationship is not the same as living together! it's like the farther away, the more idealized, and easier to hide stuff...
Very true yeh! I highly agree that living together is probably the only way to really get to know a truest form of a person. As you indeed still only "live together" for very short periods of time when dating IRL (staying over for a couple of days).
Though I would argue difference between IRL dating to living together is less jarring than the difference in online to LDR. As with the former you already have a decent frame of reference for the other person IRL, while with the latter you have none.
Honestly completely agree with your take on Online != LDR. If I end up developing feelings for someone that lives far for me I instantly start thinking about how the REAL relationship would plan out. I often ask myself things like "can I eventually live with this person and who would need to move where? Am I comfortable giving up my life here for this person or are they very close to their family/friends/environment such that they can't move to me?".
LDR definitely feels like a precursor and a phase that I wouldn't want to be too long in. I personally feel like it also helps build independence, if you have a healthy LDR that allows both parties to live their life while spending occasional time together than I think that increases your chances at a healthy REAL relationship. In irl relationships I feel it's important to both support each other and let each other do your own things every so often. LDR can really show if your partner has patience and doesn't purely rely on you being there with you all the time.
This turned very long but I'd love to hear more of your take on relationship stuff, I agree with your points so far and it's a very hot topic for me rn (came out of a horrible LDR a year ago and wanted my next relationship to be irl BUT I'm really interested in someone that lives far away .-.)
Anyway, great video! Hope you are well and that you can get to see each other very soon again!
There's a reason why I, even when I do the mouthytalk, address friendships with different kinda emphasis.
Example 1 - Friends: The people I know better than most and who I've allowed to get to know me very well. I trust my Friends and am open with them, both in regards to stuff that gets me happy and excited, but also, and far more importantly imo, the kinda stuff that gets me anxious. I only talk with my Friends about things like depression, sadness and psychological problems. Likewise, I only feel comfortable listening to my Friends when they talk about stuff that's currently getting them anxious, depressed or psychological problems of their own. It can be some very personal and sensitive stuff after all, so of course it's stuff that should be reserved for people you trust.
Example 2 - friends: These are people that I'm acquainted with. People who I've talked with and stuff but that I do not know nearly well enough to trust. Some of them I do not even _want_ to get to know deeper than this because whenever subjects have turned towards deeper, more meaningful stuff, they've revealed opinions that are fundamentally incompatible with my own world view and things have gotten tense. Still, it's not like I can do anything about the fact that we _have_ gotten to know each other on some deeper level, even if we do not agree with each other, and even though we may disagree with each other I still do not necessarily dislike them enough to terminate our friendship, so they are still friends to some extent at least.
Example 3 - "friends": These are the people who seem to think that just because they and I have participated in the same discussion at some point in the past, that means we've somehow become friends... These people I generally have no idea who they really are, sometimes to the extent that I have never even learned their names, and I'm uncertain if the person I've gotten to know is really them or just a persona. It's possible that I wouldn't mind getting to know them better, but I haven't done so yet and I would sooner consider them something closer to strangers than people I actually know at present. Almost all people I've ever had amicable conversations with online go into this category and the only exceptions to that rule are the very, very rare people that I've eventually gotten to know IRL.
It's always been hard for me to imagine people online as actual real people with real lives. It's always felt more like I'm just interacting with a bunch of chat bots. I think humans need to be physically close to one another to really connect. Or at least I do.
That's totally fair yeh!! It's very common for people to need that physical interaction aspect to really feel connected to someone. In that case an LDR indeed is not gonna be your cup of tea.
THIS!!! The idolized person is so bad especially for younger people too!
I really fall in love with all of a person. People who are looking for a comitment on Tinder before seeing them irl freak me out. I don't know if they smell nice or more like sulfur.
So when one of my friends claimed to have an online bf 4 hours away, I encouraged them to meet. But I also tell them not to hold the relationship as high as they do (she's spending 8 hours a day to him) while not being sure if he smells funny. She refused to meet him irl, and now still hasn't seen him. Meanwhile they started "dating" pre-pandemic and their drama is over 100 now. If this is his best side, how controlling will he be irl?
It makes me low key sad. I pretty much agree with your opinion. But me and my bf met online and just fell in love at some point. But due to us not having the money back then and then Covid coming arond the corner we still couldn't meet. It's just so frustrating that we've had to cancel it...
Did u guys met
@@dato329 Yup :D
6:39 "how do they thank the waiter"
"Enjoy your meal"
"Thanks, you too"
🤣 omg that's happening me all the time and stupid stuff like that 🤦♂️
I can see why online relationships can not be a real relationship. but even with irl and LDR relationships. Yes you can see the habits of another person but they still can hide some dubious behavior or it can sour after awhile. But this is a person speaking from others accounts and has not been in a relationship since his birth. So yeah.... all that being said it was a nice video yuu!
Yeh but that's more a matter of not being transparent/honest with your partner, which imo is a giant red flag, as it really should be the foundation of a relationship. Clear and open communication is vital to make any relationship work long term. Doesn't matter if its IRL, LDR or online.
But thank you very much!! 😊
@@Yuunarii true words have been spoken!
The way you sparkle your videos with your amazing positive energy and witty approach makes them so enoyable! To a point I don't necessarily need to be too invested into the subject, the presentation is just too good.
You're cool.
Awww thank you very much!! 😊
Your videos are improving abt your storytimes
Also congrats on 100k
hey Yuu, your at 100k now!
Congrats!
Aww thank you!! I'll be sure to make a tiny celebration video sometime soon!!
not to mention ur online “partner/lover” could just be a catfisher in disguise and it happened to the best of us🕴
This is all great advice, hard to hear but great. I'm currently in an online relationship I suppose and it's really important to be realistic. Im hopeful for mine though because we both like each other and have great chemistry. But I think meeting her in person is really the true test of what it will turn into.
Awww wish you two the best of luck!!
If you're open and transparent with one another there's a very high chance you two will get along just fine IRL. Though there will always remain that tiny factor of unpredictability.
@@Yuunarii Thank you so much!!!
I'm sorry I keep getting distracted by the Touhou music
Also, congrats on 100K!!!
Awww thank you!!
bacon flag
I live the unfortunate lifestyle of spending most of my time on the internet so that means most of the people I meet live anywhere but here. I've been in an online/Long distance relationship and it was fun while it lasted, we saw each other only twice and broke up after a year. Maybe I'm just not well adjusted but I find irl relationships way harder to initiate on account of the lack of a "prep stage" as you put it.
Ah I'm very sorry to heat things didn't work out between you two!! Really hope you manage to find someone that clicks very well with you.
I had a long distance relationship with someone from a completely different continent. We were both very open, honest, and authentic. As soon as we met irl, after 2 years, everything went perfectly. As soon as we met, it wasn’t awkward nor weird. It didn’t feel like rediscovering each other nor meeting someone else. We were immediately very comfortable with each other, and acted like a couple that’s been together from the start.
got out of a pretty bad online relationship (never again holy fuck) but this video is so so true !! this kind of helped me get over them :)
I know this an old video but as someone who has dated online and is currently dating online it takes alot out of you and needs the will and a good foundation in order to work cause you never know the real person behind the screen but luckily my current one isn't that far but you need to maintain a healthy amount of interaction in order to keep the sail afloat.
i’ve been in an online relationship for a year now and it definitely weighs on you, especially being in a developmental stage (becoming adults) it really makes me wonder if it’s a good idea. They are about a day and a half drive away from me and we’ve been talking about meeting up when we get the chance and finances, and it’s a motivator for me to start working and all that. But sometimes I get anxious about it and wonder if i’m wasting my final year of high school in a sense?
Anyways I completely agree with your opinion, and having someone you care about so deeply being far away sucks a lot.
Hi hi. I found this pretty funny..just because i am also Dutch and i am also in a long distance relationship with someone from the UK for around 2.5 years now.
For my experience i definetly would not give up and end it because i love my bf and he loves me. Though it does get difficult with visiting and stuff. BUT i do totally agree that when you are in a ldr the moments you are together irl are so important. Me and my bf are planning to be together for the first time upcomming christmas so that will be fun! Goodbyes are going to be hard though.
me omw to turn my online relationship to a potential ldr 🏃 /lh
give it two years,, i’ll come back to this,
i hope lol
How's it going? :D
@@ovalb broke up in summer 😔✌️
Not in a romantic context but online friendship doesnt feel real either. I met a few people in game chats over the years and they never last. Someone stops playing a game, doesnt join your calls, or cuts contact for no reason. Its superficial. Anything online doesnt feel real.
Thanks a lot for your thoughts, Yuunari. I learned a lot from the phases and the definitionz to be honest.
The effort surely is real. The last few months meeting in person has become hard, so even friendships are now getting much harder.
I agree with your problem with online relationship.
I think online aquaintances can be great buddies though. Wouldn't wanna marry those persons though.
Please ramble more about relationships and the struggles 🙏
Love the Touhou bgm by the way🎶, like always
Awww thank you!! And I'm glad the video was helpful!
hey, thanks for this video, having new understanding about different types of dating cuz i dont have any dating experiance yet, so this video can help a lot! congrats on 100k too!
I'm in an LDR and I agree hoping it turns out good but all your points are true
I red this and I accidentally thought I red "My thoughts on long distance/ online school"
I absolutely adore the way you phrase things in you videos, glad I found you earlier this year!!
Awww thank you so much!!
Mooie en interessante video! Dank u, Yuunarii! :)
I'm glad someone agrees with me on this. I have online dated before but the actual human connection isn't there. The bond isn't at all the same, you can't hold someone's gamertag and feel good about it, like-- thank God you made a video on this
Again like I mentioned an online relationship can definitely turn into an LDR, but it does take a lot of time and effort. The online bond in and of itself though indeed is hard to compare to an offline one.
I agree , right now im on a LDR because a girl i met in person fell in love with me and sadly i had to go back to my home country bc personal reasons and legal reasons, so i love her too but we have met in person
“I didn’t know that Alan preferred to sleep nude”
-Yuunari’s LDR 2021.
such a honest video! good job Yuu. ook leuke tekeningen weer!
That explanation of ldr at the pause was pretty accurate
I live in the Netherlands and i have a friend in Japan, i don't have any other friends it's hard to make friends and i never had a relationship before. And next year if corona is all gone i go to Japan and maybe be able to meet my only online friend
I don't even have real life friends
That's sad. But I have the same problem as you: I can't make any friends! I moved to Hawaii because of my work contract which is 3 years long. But at least I still have my friends back home who still keep in touch, and my family as well.
"I didn't buy him off the dark web."
Suuuuuure...
Fallen for someone half a country away from me and I think I need to think rationally.... Thank you for the video!
i don't agree overall, but i agree with most of your points
as you said, descriptions don't tell the whole picture
i've never even been in a video call with my boyfriend, so i don't know how he speaks, what his voice is like, etc
If you don’t know what they look like or sound like and you’ve been together for a while that sounds kinda concerning imo
As someone who has never in both kind of relationship i completely agree with what you said
when yo e-girl doesn't thank the bus driver
yo who put that bunny in Madagascar
RIP Portugal in the thumbnail
We need more of Alan's voice in your videos! Also, congrats on 100k subs!!!
A part 2 of this would be cool! Great video!😄
Honestly I am planning to turn my online relationship into an ldr in the next year. Covid fucked up my plans (like most people ;v;) to see my bf this year, so I can only hope things work out to me in '22. We have been dating for a year and I am genuinely excited to finally meet him face to face :)
Hey! Are u enjoying it even tho it's only online? Not to be rude but I'm hesitant and i Don't wanna go through something that I'll regret,nor i want to hurt the other person :)
ayo twins
@@ghostie5995 Ahh I just saw it, and yes! Two and half years and still kicking it :) it's really just a matter of communication and understanding each other.
However, if you aren't ready for such a thing I would not recommend it; since it can be very harmful.
There are times where we get distant, but we genuinely love each other, and will do anything for one another
I have Long Distant Friendships in the Netherlands, U.K, and I guess some others but all I know is that it'll kind of be hard to maintain or else they'll lose interest to even try to chat. That's kind of all I know.
For someone who start with online relationship and move to long distance relationship. We meet irl couple of times already and we both are not that different from how we are online so I suppose it does help. We get along extremely well both online and irl and I have to agree the goal is to close the distance permanently we don't enjoy being in a LDR but we both live in different countries and met online so just have to pass through this first
The outro sounded interesting. Please more about relarionships.
I can't really say anything because I never have been in a relationship but thanks for the pointers
i agree with you mostly, I as a closeted gay person in an eastern european country have only had the luxury of having two online relationships so far, and that line about seeing them as a more perfect version and not dating their real selves hit hard cuz another friend said the same thing, Overall what im trying to say is that the first online relationship I had was horrible for me and left me in quite a qoozy for a while but i matured a lot from it and learned a lot, stopped being possessive and such annoying bs. I went into my second relationship much more mature but the whoe time i couldnt help but think damn i wish i could date irl instead.
So overall I jsut want to say:online relationships suck, theyre just as emotionally draining as real ones with 200% the pain
Aww I'm very sorry to hear about your bad experience. But yeh it really sucks not being able to have that other person close by IRL. Being able to date IRL can add a whole other dimension to your relationship. Hence why, if you feel you've found the right person and the other person feels the same, being very confident that things will work out, to give it all you got, cause it is very much possible that in the near future, you two would be able to date IRL.
But on the other hand, LDRs aren't for everyone, especially if you crave that IRL interaction / physical touch love language. So in that case it indeed must majorly suck to not really have any other option.
I wish you the best of luck!!
@@Yuunarii Thank you very much!
Eyy I managed to come on time for a video :D
RUclips wont let me post my story in full, so I'll try posting it in the replies.
I was in an online relationship with my partner for 1.5 years before we met up for the first time. It was another 6 months before we could even live in the same country. Then 6 months before we could move in with each other. Then another year before we got married. That was back in 2016 and we're still together.
In my experience the 'Online' and 'LDR' portions of our relationship were virtually identical. We were both creative types and spent 20+ hours in calls every week discussing and working on various projects together. It involved a lot of dedication, problem solving, and stress, but we had each others backs through all of it. It's hard not to know someone inside and out when you have that experience.
For us, the physical aspect of the relationship was entirely secondary. We didn't bother with video calls most days when screen sharing was an option to show what we were working on. When we were finally able to move in together after 2.5 years, something just clicked - as if we had been living together all along and just woke up from a long dream. They were exactly the person that I always knew them to be and our bond was stronger than ever before.
I'm aware that my experience is unique, as the "Online =/= LDR" distinction WILL hold true in most situations. However, as an exception to the rule I figured there might be something of value here.
I mean same case was kinda with me and Alan. Our bond IRL is pretty much the same as the one we have IRL, though of course there are still certain things that couldn't really be anticipated. Mostly regarding social situations that can't be experienced within a video call setting.
Glad to hear things worked out between you two!! But again, as a general rule of thumb I think it's better to remain sceptical (the other person being very different IRL than they are online), to prevent yourself from getting trapped in a fantasy.
5:13 Me who's just started using Python: *I see what you did there with the exclamation mark and the equals sign*
Welcome to the IT club
C user: What's the type "Online"?
@@gluttonousmaximus9048 who are you talking to?
Also I don't understand the question
And here I am too anxious from social anxiety to have either lol
This video was very high quality, this was great!
I just realized the background music was a remix of flowering night!
This was pleasantly informative
Tbh any solid online relationship strives to be a LDR I don't think anyone in any serious online relationship wouldn't kill to meet their partner IRL
Very true yes!! Though imo that still doesn't take a way the fact that online relationships in and of itself can't give you the full picture of a person (and therefore shouldn't be viewed as a legit relationship just yet). Only once you've met IRL, and experienced one another for several days at a time is when it's fair to say you are in a legit relationship. Sure, ideally, the difference in personality should be none, and that probably will be the case if the two people have been completely transparant with one another, but it's always best to assume the person in question may act very different IRL than what they were like online. Again, like I mentioned there's also always certain aspects of a person that simply are impossible to communicate over the internet. Which could be potentially off-putting.
@@Yuunarii What if you only seen that person once in real life but spent hours or the whole day with them before having to go back home? Then could you consider yourself in a relationship?
Old video but I really agree with this. I am LDR with my girlfriend. We met online but met as soon as possible because it's important. Lucky the distance is about the same as you and Alan. The past two years we have spend as much time together as humanly possible (luckily as uni student I have a lot of holidays). I hate it's LDR and it cannot be over sooner. I applied for my visa, but it will still take 3-6 months to get approved but we will get there!
Aww that's really nice to hear!! I always feel bad whenever I read about couples who're half a globe away from eachother. Timezone differences and plane tickets would be an absolute nightmare. But yeh I do very much think meeting up ASAP is extremely important if people wanna follow through with an LDR, in order to get a realistic image of your SO. Seeing whether you have that same chemistry IRL too or not. And whether they are the same sort of person you expected them to be or not.
Good luck with your relationship!! 😊
congrats on 100k
Thanks!!
I personally agree with a lot of this stuff, I would def like to see more vids like this! I'll be honest seeing your hot takes on things brings new perspective, just as any opinion should, so i say go for it and make more stuff like this if your willing :3
Congrats on 🤪🤭100K love you 🥺
I...think I feel got the message now. Perhaps that's the whole reason of what my parents are trying to tell me?
Ho you have 100 k subscribers congratulation ❤🥳
Thank you!!
I agree, online relationships are very different from long distance relationships due to that single difference of meeting the person in person. Of course an online relationship can grow into an LDR but so can almost any relationship due to a lot of factors. I'd have to say though with rona LDR became crazy hard and it ended up being the reason why I split with my ex. The LDR grew into just an online relationship. In the LDR it is very important to have that irl experience to keep it a LDR.
Aww very sorry to hear about your break-up!! But yeh rona has put a major strain on relationships I feel, especially LDR ones. Me and Alan are also starting to get real tired of it. It's been almost half a year since I last saw him, but we're determined to pull through. We both happen to be very lucky that neither of us are very "physical touch" love language oriented, so we don't mind the slightly longer waits in between visits. But 5+ months is really starting eat away at us.
Either way, at the very least you and your ex split up on good terms. Online relationships can still make for very good friendships after all!!
3:36 - I think i see a clever pun...
CONGRATS ON 100K!!!🎉🎊 :D
Thank you!!
Hey you just hit 100k! Congrats!
Unfortunately yeah this is kind of true. People aren’t always who you think they are. Learned that the hard way.
Awww very sorry to hear that!!
@@Yuunarii I didn’t expect you to respond to my comment! But it’s alright at least now I know better for the future.
I'm in confusing position rn, so I recently started online school for high school but before I was in a elementary through middle school I became friends with this girl and I've been in touch with her still,I like her and I'm pretty sure she likes me to but if she says yes the only pyscial contact would be meeting up which would be akward cause my mom would need to Drive me and I don't know her family,top this ontop of my social anxiety and idk what to do
Aww that's really sweet!! Personally I'd recommend just staying friends for the time being and wait till you're both at least in your early 20s. People change a lot during their teens, so there's a chance you might end up growing apart. That, plus as a teen you'd be missing out on a lot of crucial learning opportunities if you were to already tie yourself to someone who you're not able to see on a regular basis, or possibly have to wait years for to meet, due to financial and travel dependency on your parents.
However if you both still hold such feelings for eachother once you're older, and are willing to put in the money and effort, then go for it!! However for now, I'd say staying friends is probably your best option and stick to IRL dating.
OMGGGGG U HIT 100K OMGGGG
My best friend was in touch with her boyfriend for 5 years trough online until she moved to him and they got married and have a kid. They played the same video game together.
I never was in real life relationship due to my intrevert trates and my fears so i'm online chatting with my girlfriend. Altough for someone it might not be the same and real and I do understand that. But I rather have her than nothing at all. She is a big mental support for me and we constantly talk about love for one another and how we wish things could of been like. Sadly not for everyone things work the same but self expression is important even if life doesn't bring you the best people real world does not mean you cannot love or suppprt someone online even if you miss few factors of how they are behind the sceen.
That's very nice to hear!!
Indeed for mental and emotional support it doesn't quite matter if the person you're talking to is someone IRL or online. Those sorts of needs can easily be fulfilled by a close online friend.
If that's all you both really want/need out of a romantic relationship, than kudos to you two!!
However seeing how most people do wish to someday live together IRL, build a live together outside of the online space, it is very important to know what the other person is like IRL before you decide to pursue a serious LDR relationship (with the goal of moving in together). Otherwise you could encounter issues you might have not expected further down the line. Not necessarily because the other person hid certain info from you online, but rather than you simply can't experience/know about certain traits of a person unless you've spend time with them in offline settings.
Again if that isnt your end goal then good for you!!
Nobody even my attaction Please!!!
I Don't know?
Honestly, this is very well put and very well researched.
As someone who has been in an LDR. (Yes, we met irl even though like you, it started out online.) It was definitely a lot different than some of my "online relationships." There was more of a connection, and the fact that we were in the same state, made things easier for us.
Had things worked out, I'd probably have still been with her, but it wasn't meant to be sadly...
Also, is that Sakuya's theme?
Haha thanks!!
Sorry to hear things didn't work out beween the two of you 😟 Wish you the best of luck!
And yep yep, it's Touhou music
congrats on 100k !
Thank you!!
My girlfriend lives in the province next to mine. So you could say I'm in a long distance relationship myself. (J.K, we see each other every weekend, so it's not the same 😅)
Anyone else notice the bunny in Madagascar?
Once again congrats on 100k! I watch your videos since 2018 i think and I love them! You really deserved that!
I agree with you. I was in an online relationship and yeah it was pretty nice but it felt really boring after a while and just not right. It wasn't comparable to an "actual" relationship. We just wanted to meet eachother but never did that so we eventually just broke up. I'm sure it would've been more fun if we actually met irl
Awww thank you very much!! 😊
I think online relationships exclusively can only really persist in platonic form. If you want to be in a serious romantic online relationship then yeh eventually you might run out of stuff to talk about / things to look forward too, especially if meet-up plans can't be realised. It really sucks.
Skip here, 5:47 got it.
All of this makes perfect sense.
Well..for a person who has online dated, I wouldn't say it's a fake relationship. Some people want to explore and maybe find someone far away for certain reasons. I like a guy all the way in Arizona and I'm in Georgia. I rather have a online relationship right now than a irl one.
Hi i'm your new fan,i like your video :> that cool
I have a question- is it cheating to have a online relationship that u have never met and then a relationship in person? I'm not dating to ppl just I have a online bf but I like my bsf so I don't know if its cheating
If you and the online person are in an exclusive relationship, while you also dating someone IRL then that's definitely cheating. Unless you're polyamorous and the two people know about the existence of eachother and are fine with it.
@@Yuunarii so were not exclusive but thank u for the reply
@@tylynnmoncy3955 I mean in that case I'd say just cut contact with the online person. You're already in an exclusive relationship IRL, so not really fair to be stringing the online person along if youre not going to pursue that relationship.
Unless your IRL boyfriend knows about and is OK with your online BF.
@@Yuunarii 𝕥𝕙𝕒𝕟𝕜 𝕦 𝕥𝕙𝕠 𝕥𝕙𝕚𝕤 𝕚𝕤 𝕟𝕠𝕥 𝕨𝕙𝕒𝕥 𝕀 𝕞𝕖𝕒𝕟 𝕀 𝕤𝕥𝕚𝕝𝕝 𝕒𝕡𝕡𝕣𝕒𝕥𝕚𝕒𝕥𝕖 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕙𝕖𝕝𝕡 𝕀 𝕨𝕚𝕝𝕝 𝕛𝕦𝕤𝕥 𝕤𝕥𝕚𝕔𝕜 𝕨𝕚𝕥𝕙 𝕞𝕪 𝕠𝕟𝕝𝕚𝕟𝕖 𝕓𝕗 𝕙𝕖 𝕚𝕤 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕠𝕟𝕝𝕪 𝕡𝕖𝕣𝕤𝕠𝕟 𝕀'𝕞 𝕕𝕒𝕥𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕀 𝕞𝕖𝕟𝕥 𝕀 𝕒𝕝𝕤𝕠 𝕝𝕚𝕜𝕖 𝕞𝕪 𝕓𝕤𝕗 𝕒𝕟𝕕 𝕕𝕠𝕟'𝕥 𝕜𝕟𝕠𝕨 𝕚𝕗 𝕚𝕥𝕤 𝕔𝕙𝕖𝕒𝕥𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕥𝕠 𝕥𝕖𝕝𝕝 𝕙𝕖𝕣 𝕓𝕦𝕥 𝕖𝕥𝕙𝕚𝕖𝕣 𝕨𝕒𝕪 𝕥𝕙𝕒𝕟𝕜 𝕦 𝕀'𝕞 𝕕𝕖𝕗𝕚𝕒𝕟𝕥𝕝𝕪 𝕘𝕠𝕟𝕟𝕒 𝕤𝕦𝕓𝕤𝕔𝕣𝕚𝕓𝕖 𝕥𝕠 𝕪𝕠𝕦 𝕥𝕙𝕠
What if you only met that person once in real life but spent hours or the whole day with them before having to go back home? Then could you consider yourself in a relationship?
Saying its a fake relationship is unfair to people who overall date and is kinda shitty. Bc well then you are just saying even if the 2 actually love eahother. They are just not actually loving each other
I'm not saying the love people feel for one another isn't real. It's not my place to judge someone's feelings. Feelings are always valid. All I'm saying is that a relationship purely rooted in online interaction can't be seen as the same to one where both people have interacted with one another IRL. For as long as you're missing out on that aspect, your brain will fill in the blanks. Subconsciously or not. Hence why I describe it as being in love with an imagined/idealised version of the other person. Some aspects of a person you literally can't know about through online interaction. Hence why I personally recommend meeting up ASAP irl. The longer you wait, the more chance you might be setting yourself up for disappointment.
good video!
and will there be a 100k special at any point?
I'll probably make a short celebration video quite soonish, but nothing too special. Also had plans to open a PO box for 100K but I think I'll hold off of that for a little longer.
The reason for which I'll probably elaborate on in said video.
Depending on what you're specifically referring to with the word relationship, I have mixed opinions about your claim. In the context of romance, I think I largely agree that a long-term, meaningful relationship can be extremely difficult or on some cases even impossible.
But in the context of platonic relationships, many of my closest friends come from all over the world and I know I'd feel less fulfilled without them.
Also uh... I find it extremely funny that your boyfriend exists in a state where basically the only thing I (we?) know about him is the fact that he sleeps naked. OF ALL THE THINGS YOU HAVE TOLD US ABOUT HIM, IT WAS THIS XD
Ah in this video I'm specifically referring to romantic relationships!! (again I didn't clarify it in the video because I figured the hearts, and the use of the term LDR (which I've never seen used in a platonic way) would signify that I'm purely talking about romantic ones) Sorry if you got the wrong idea!!
I do very much agree that online friendships are a very legit thing!! Simply because you don't necessarily strive to meet the other person IRL (while for romantic ones, that is a requirement). The things people look for in friends, can easily be fulfilled by people online.
Hahaha I mean I don't mind making a video at some point in the future where I talk some more specifically about our relationship (though I have spoken a little about some of his other habits in a video where I talked about my trip to Scotland last year)
@Yuunarii don't worry too much. I think you made it clear that you were talking about romance, but my comment was just kind about that lingering thought that was wondering "what does she think about platonic relationships tho"
Also you talk about whatever it you you want to tbh! I just thought that random detail was really funny and my first thought went to "oh man, I hope he was okay with that info being released to thousands of people" XD
Anyhow, keep up the great work as always
In my case i had a LDR with my girlfriend (i say that in the other video) and now i talk to my relashionship with my "adopting" daughter. Yeah,i a 22 years (23 years in march 19) of age had a daughter of 14 age and later that another adopting daughter of 4 age and this two girls are from Meheeco (and i from Argentina). I love my daughters Estrella and Luna (yes that was their names) and their love me as a father and i know this is wierd and more wierd then i meet Estrella in Facebook but i don't care,i love so much my daughters.
Online relationships are real relationships, but you certainly don’t know everything about the other person. I do think it’s a better idea to meet the other person first/meet them decently soon after beginning to date them online of course.