5 Tips to Make a Long Distance Relationship Work
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- Опубликовано: 6 авг 2024
- hi everyone! I get questions a lot about what helped me through my long distance relationship. This is the best I could come up with for things that helped me. Hope you all enjoy.
love always,
mak
management:
adam@undercurrent.net
An important thing, I think, is to have a planned, achievable end scenario for the long distant part of the relationship. Something you both agree on and can work towards. If you're in a long distance relationship, but you don't see a realistic time and place in which you both will be together then what are you doing it for?
such a good point!
The one thing about spending "less time together" You can't get to the point that you miss them so badly that you are miserable and the reason for the call is to spread that misery or worse make them feel guilty that you are not together if that is the feeling for the call then you are better off not making it. The last thing you want is your partner dreading speaking to you because you are always in a bad head space and end up making things worse
Barely 3 min in and it’s already better than more than half the videos
This video felt like a hug, my god, I needed to hear all of this. I am 28 and currently in my first ever relationship, which happens to be long-distance, and I haven't actually met my partner physically yet. The beginning was so easy. Every moment felt crazy, butterflies in my stomach every day, blushing all day long, feeling like my heart was literally going to burst from happiness whenever we would call, I have never experienced that in my life. I like him so much.
But indeed, we've gotten into a bit of a routine now (it's still building, I think!) and it's thrown me in for a loop, because I started feeling like I wasn't feeling as much as before. Feeling more like a friend (even though we definitely still flirt, which is lovely) and struggling to be romantic when just catching up with each other's days.
I have resisted going online to google stuff about LDR because it was stressing me out, but I had heard about you, Mak, and I am so glad I clicked.
This video felt so calm and so helpful, and helped me kind of normalise what I'm going through, and also gave me some insights on what to look forward to, or some "pitfalls" to avoid (definitely guilty of the "maybe if we talk less it'll be better", which half works, but mostly just makes me sadder). I think I hadn't really let myself go into the headspace of "needing help" because that would mean I had failed at something. Which is stupid, and also, it's my first relationship, I should give myself a break!
I really like the idea of dates, they were all really cute and made me happy and emotional just thinking about them! And also, the idea of not leaving each other while physically before we've settled on a date for the next visit.
This just felt like a really needed chat with a friend who has your best intentions in mind, felt like a nice cup of tea! I will say though this video mostly made me want to start a journal dedicated to the relationship hihihi
My wife of 20 yrs and I have been separated by immigration and covid for 4 years. This is hard but things like this help, a lot. Especially phone dates.
i send letters and packages. we limit constant texting to avoid anxious attachments to respoinses and fixations. We call maybe once a week but our letters is where a lot of our energy is put. there is a while other level of security of knowing that letter is gonna come when you dont talk to them all the time. it builds trust in a really beautiful way. meow.
This is so relatable especially the thing about feeling like a friend when things get into routine
Been in a LDR since May. He lives in Texas and I live in the UK. 4000 miles! We have known each other digitally for 6 years but met in May when he flew to London. Then it was 5 months wait until i could fly to see him in the states. It's so hard but also so worth it. I talk to him about stuff i have never told anybody before. Communication is hugely important. I am lucky that he makes me feel so calm, relaxed and loved. Making time to FaceTime and learning schedules and making time to speak is so important. Even on our busiest days we always talk on the phone for a minimum of 5 mins. The airport is definitely the best and worst place. But the best part of farewell is the hello which comes next time. I think the essential thing about an LDR is the end goal to. What do you both want out of it? At 6 months, we are already talking about marriage, kids, who is moving where. Its exciting to talk about the future with your SO, especially in an LDR. Thanks so much for this video! It helped 😊
I’ll look back on this when we are in our home together, and I’ll thank you. I just found your video and I’ve never seen you before but I needed this, I started to feel like I’d become less important to my partner and I spoke with him about it and now all I feel is rotten for being so deep in despair tonight. But I am going to look up to the bright side, I know when I’ll see him next and we have a long term goal set that I am working hard towards, this isn’t easy and when I am in your shoes and finally with my partner after such a hard thing for us I’ll be happy with the rewards and grateful to you for your advice. This is comfort. Thank you ❤
Thank you mak :) Im in England and my partner is in Australia. We've been together and long distance for 3 years (its been hard!) but they are moving in with me for their gap year in 3 months! I remember the first time I had to fly away from them after we'd first met, you made a video about how you were doing when you had to go back home after being with your gf for a bit. It really helped me feel like someone else in the world knew how I was feeling! its been so nice to see a long distance lesbian couple working things out without being able to be together. Its always given me a lot of hope! :)
Me and my partner would always talk about how lucky we felt that we were in the same country, I can't imagine doing that, y'all are so strong! Wishing you two the best
To be honest, I think being any distance that keeps you apart for periods of time is gonna be super hard, but that makes sticking with it more worth it afterwards @@Makingemi
Thank you for this! I have been dating my partner for over 2 years and we both went off to follow our dreams at colleges very far apart. We are both more than willing to make it work but it is so hard to be apart without their hugs and physical being. Flying to eachother isn’t really an option as a round trip would be around 1k, so we have to wait for breaks to see eachother. We have a planned fun date call on Sundays every week but during the week it’s hard to keep up with everything since we’re both so busy. I miss them so much. Thank you for this video, it made me feel like we could make it!
the lesbians NEED this. i thank you on behalf of all sapphics 🙏
I know my audience 😌
oi oiiiiiiiiii 💚💙
Lesbian here who can relate- me and my gf are long distance lol :')
I’m straight but I agree 🥰 my partner is an ocean away… well except for the phone sex stuff… uhhh lol 🤭 I want to wait till marriage 😅 we are both very busy with our work lives im working 12 hours 6 days a week at three jobs 😅and she’s a teacher for 12-9th grade and takes classes to be an archaeologist… February we are getting married but I watched this video a few times for help! 😊
Hahaah _real_
Thank you for this!
we’re a ldr couple and we live really far away from each other (Mexico and Finland) the distance has been super hard but this year we finally broke the distance and we started our RUclips channel to make content about long distance and be there for others in the same situation! ❤
everything is possible so don’t give up it is worth it!
I love this! This is exactly what I needed to get my mind around these 4 months. Never met but this gave me confidence that it can work. When you said that 40%, I definitely believe it. Then again, as I watched you talking about you and your partner. It can happen and it can work. So far, I have been going with the planning ahead and scheduling dates. It has been tough but a road that I am currently driving down with that and finally getting to meet him. Thanks for the advice and the support that your words gave. Definitely wasn't a bad video and very entertaining.
Thank you for the advice, I’m 15 I’ve been with my lover since I was 13 and currently were long distance and this is something great to relate to! Also I have been following you since I was like 12 and I’m super into filming and I’ve used a lot of your examples in filming to boost my skills !
I cannot express how calming and helpful this video was. Thank you so much for making it! 💕
I’m doing long distance, me from Australia my partner from France. We have to wait 3 years before officially be together… 4 months in and it has been a warfare. A lot of growth through pain healing. Will finally be with her in 3 weeks for a month. Without the meet ups in between this relationship would not last. Great video and I apologies for the ramble.
Especially as lesbians that were just friends for two years before dating, the regressing back to gal pal energy when long distance is so real lmao thank you for the tips!!
I used to cry so much that my girlfriend thought me being with her makes me unhappy. I also thought I was being abnormal for that cause I should have been so happy after a two-day stay at her house. But instead, l normally cry a river after we parted. Now I know I’m not alone, thanks.
I also suffer from crying a river 😅 it hurts🙃
Hi thank you for this,
the part when you said you felt like we are "just a friend" because you get into a routine of talking and it didn't feel like a relationship.
I felt that. Praying for better days.
Are you interested in long distance relationship main a with me
I feel like I have an anxious attachment style, but I still genuinely love my partner and have been able to give them the space they need well still being ok with being independent. It took time to get to that point, though, and still I still have a long way to go, but I think things are going great
I can imagine Alayna and Ashley giggling at 5:38 when you said, "sitting on face time".
I'm currently in a long distance relationship...but for the last few days i was having negative thoughts..but when I talk to her nothing comes in my mind..i just feel okay...but all I get to is that..i miss her..I love her so much 😭❤️
Thank you so much for this video. I think I won’t watch any other one so I don't get more anxious. Today is exactly one month apart (for the first time) and I’m still feeling a lot.
Thank you so much!! We were at school together but now she is moving
Great tips and totally agree. Been in a long distance relationship (Germany and South Africa) for 9years. Got married to them a week ago. It gets really really hard, but can work if both people really fight for it. If one person is not fully committed, it won’t work.
Such a great video, my boyfriend and I are in a distant relationship. Fantastic tips. Thanks for making this.
Thank you so much this video truly made me feel better you addressed so many things that I was thinking about that it makes me feel so much more excited and happy about my LDR because I love this girl so much and we both are our support to another and it just makes me look forward to be in the relationship a whole lot more with a lot less stress now thank you so much !!!
Ps I honestly stubbled on this video cause I was searching how to make a LDR work 😂
As a lesbian in a long distance relationship, thank you Mak!🥰🥰🥰💜💜💜
Thank you, this is very much needed
The way I started crying with 3 seconds in
Please make more content about LDR. I really enjoyed this video.
Thank you so much! Not pissed at all, it trully helps :)
Watchjng this even though im single …idk why im here but hey😂😂
My girlfriend and I see each other one week per month, the only difficult thing about it that we don't follow our individual routines when we see each other, it feels like we're on vacation 😂
this is so real and no one talks about it. me and my partner were nervous to close the distance cause we felt like we hadn't had our normal routines together, we had just been vacationing lol. Luckily it all worked out
@@Makingemi true! I commented about this answer and she told me that she was worried about this (and me too)
This video prompted an important conversation and an opportunity to strengthen our love 💜 thanks Mak! (And gf)
At this very moment I’m in that dark hole where I’m searching for some methods to make ldr easier. Right before this video is read the “talk less” thing too!! Made me fk pissed. Thankyou for this
Thank you. I’m in hawaii and my gf is in Denver this helps
💜💜💜 this is so essential tysm
Thank youuuu
I neeeeeded this
Although I'm not in a ldr this seems really helpful for people who are tho
That is a really good video. My girlfriend and I have been together for 2 year and have been doing long distance relationship for about 6 months. It really hard as I moved to a different school to her and when she isn't boarding at her school she is in France. This video really helped.❤
And we have both got about 3 years till we move out of our houses so ye a long time😢
My bf is in nm and i am in ny. Our lifestyles are practically identical and how we think but different. Our "arguments" if we have any are minor and we communicate a lot. Almost a year in now and he is one of the most kindest people I've ever met. We do have certain times-ish where we contact and call each other. Lately... we have been especially me, missing each other physically. I want to hug him, kiss him, cuddle but i cant, we cant...
😭😭😭😭 I miss him everyday and want to see as often as possible. I don't know what to do
Thank you so much, Me and this guy like each other but I live the UK and he lives in USA in NY, and I live in Bournemouth in the UK, me and him both rlly love each other and he is gonna ask me out soon, me and him r taking our time to get to know each other, but we both felt a connection when I first added him, me and him starting speaking so much and we had to figure out times we could talk which would be at night since the UK is 5hrs ahead, but he did say he is coming to the UK, because he comes here sometimes and I’ve asked him if he wants to meet me and he said sure, me and him have already face timed on WhatsApp and we talked for ages, I would go from 7/8pm until the next day like at 2am to talk to him.
I just rlly love him and I want it to last.❤
this was so helpful!!
me watching this single 🤡 not but fr this is really good advice mak, good job
I'm really considering just breaking up with my long distance gf.
I feel like I make time, but she never does no matter how much I talk to her about it.
But idk maybe it'll be better in person :(
Thank you I needed this
For all the people who see this video too late.
You tried, it wasn`t your fault.
Sometimes people jut slip through your hands like sand even if you try everything to keep them close. There is nothing you can do.
Don`t beat yourself up over it. Don`t worry too much over if you did enough or if you did too much. You tried and that`s the most important part. If you were meant for each other it would have worked out
as someone who's in a ldr, thank you
I still feel really anxious about my ldr especially with the trust aspect but this felt like a therapy session thank u mak
Very helpful. Thank you.
Ur funny I had a few giggles listening 😊 ty for the tips
this girls got me down bad lmao thanks mak
Some really good tips!! Love the online games. Thanks doll!
Did your relationship make it to being physically together? If so, when you finally came together, how did you deal with the more real person vs what you onagined them to be on a day to day basis?
Mak have you been to Vertical Ventures in St Pete's? I went rock climbing there a couple days ago with my friend and thought you'd enjoy the place
I keep requesting that my partner dedicate more time to me as we call about once a week for anywhere between 1-5 hours per call, and I’m always the one who arranges them- and I’m tired of feeling like I’m the only one who wants it
and he told me that I’m the one he talks to the most in his life and he’s comfortable with out communication level and doesn’t understand why I want more
:) pls help
I watched this video because my girlfriend wanted to break up because she thought our LDR hurted her. I really think thise tips would help a lot but she refused to give it another try and now I am heart broken
Update?
you perfectly described me, crazy
GUYS WAKE UP MAK POSTED
I'M UP! I'M UP!
I remember one time my partner felt terrible about some things in life, and i said something like "I'm with you", and he responded "but you're not", and this felt so horrible, because... I know this better that anyone. I'm not.
:c
You are an actual embodiment of a young Dylan from The L Word, most in this setting than anywhere else.
this helped me so much rn...
:,)
Love this RUclips channel
thank you so much!
How long was the LD portion of your relationship?
It they trave 2 to 3 weeks out of the mooth it feels long distance too.
These past two days im holding out quiet well hes been busy but yea i can manage
I'm a relationship anarchist and non-monogamous. I am talking with someone new who is out of state. Not sure how things will progress. I suppose if evolves into something more I might long to see them more. Or, would my special friends locally help me cope because I am getting emotional support and physically connected with them? I haven't dated anyone long distance before but am planning to move out of state to teach in the fall which means everything is open-ended.
So deamn Worth It
i met my partner online on the 28th march and we spend every waking moment together and all the videos i watch everyone always talks about not talking all the time when we both cant stand being away from eachover (not being on call etc) and im confused if this is wierd of us im not exhausted we communicate when we have arguments and were planning to meet in december so it just really confuses me how people can just get bored of their partner it really makes me question if your really in love i never get bored of her i couldnt imagine it but everyone online mentions the bad things that we dont struggle with and im worried that the issues are going to come in the future has anyone else been in my situation
Thank you!
Is it normal, after some time being in long distance, to feel like you love your partner "less" or like you're starting to drift apart from them because you don't see them as much? I've been starting to get these feelings when I don't see her but like when I see her I'm always so happy and I forget about these weird feelings so I've been really confused about it and I just wanted to know if it's normal to feel like that sometimes?
It happens to me also!
It’s happening to me too!!!
i need some advice, at the end of the video you say it’s okay to be sad but if i’m sad all the time what should i do if the sadness overtakes a lot of things what should i do?
Hi, I am in the 9th month ldr with my best friend of 4 years. Give yourself a couple days, let this sadness take over you. write your thoughts, talk to your partner about it, try to understand yourself and the situation better. but know that THE MORE YOU SPEND YOUR DAYS SAD AND UNMOTIVATED, THE HARDER IT WILL BE FOR YOU TWO TO BE TOGETHER.
I get so fkn sad and unmotivated to do anything somedays because of my ldr, but i know that if i wanna be with that person: I need to work, I need to put an effort. So please try to change your perspective and see this situation as a chance to develop yourself and work harder. Because if you believe that you're gonna stick with that person for years, you need to be okay yourself first. I don't know how old are you, what the situation is but I am 17 years old and me and my partner needs at least 2 years to be together because we are planning on moving together for the university. Set realistic plans, dates if you can. That will also help you to be motivated for that days, and help you to see your future easier. if you want to talk more about it we can chat through discord, I want to help if I can ❤ lots of love for you two.
Do you have more videos on this? Your journey?
It didn’t take the pain away😭 I feel the pain all over my body I’m dying
We're already 2 weeks and 1 day already with my LDR boyfriend we always talk but I'm feeling that were being bored sometimes caused we are always talking to each other and we don't know what to do when we don't have to talk about 😶😶😶
It was a great video but at the end I was of at the edge of my seat thinking she's going to spill her coffee😢
THANKYOU
I just broke up with my long distance gf
I was in a long-distance relationship with a man, but it was so different. It was good until it was not, and i had to end it. It got to be very toxic and unhealthy because of his behavior and reaction to it.
I’m super confused because i’m in LDR with my gf, but she always avoiding the “are we gonna close the distance?” because she felt comfortable in her hometown, and i’m focusing on my career in my town. even though we met each other once a month and it’s not that i don’t want to have an LDR with my girlfriend but… at least we can have a vision or planning to be together physically at the end… please help😢
Thats not a good sign :(
Good evening hello 👋🏾 how you doing your still planning to move out there and new country 😀🫵🏾🙏🏾👍🏾💪🏾✌🏾🫴🏾☮️👉🏾🆒🤳🏾🆗🔜🫶🏾
I need some help
Bruh I’m pissed rn. I the way that I took me 3 attempts to type the Word pissed and I just did it again. But I searched this while doing this lol
Ur so cool
u know ur audience
I still cant believe what happened it was all shocked and really the worst thing ever , i met her online she was super sweet and then blocked me promising me she'll come back and stuff and that she's doing it for our best it was 2 months ago , and then i had to comment with her on my yt channel until it got worse and i was abt to kill myself and i sent her a text knowing she wouldn't respond but she did in hours later she sent me a super long essay telling me she's sorry and that she's the worst person ever fr and wish if she never met me so she couldn't hurt me , and that do not do this to urself think about your family and friends , i thought it got really better after that , then i sent her a greet in Instagram in few days later and wanted to make sure everything is ok then we had very bad days i mean she made me have them for like 2 days then on sat 6/24 we had a long call and essays a lot she was drawing my name on the call and everything and sent me the photos we took before and everything sweet .. then i blocked her and tried hoping I'll finally do it and not fail again, i started joining her everyday day on Roblox , even before that she sent me too many long essays about me and social media and ppl and and trying to support me like she wasn't trying to say something sweet... Anyways we were playing roblox everything good , then i started talking to her on dc and whatsapp too from 13 days wish i never did .... Everything was kinda great ig.... She was still having feelings , since monday someone was using her phone and it was one of her family all long time fr , and i had to wait untill she comes back and she texted me and told me she got back her old ig acc and sent me a ss of our old chat and her vm there... We played roblox then i went to gym and came back , last friday she sent the longest essay ever trying to convince me i have to leave her for my own best and stuff she kept begging me for over an hour... Anyways so after i came back from gym she wasn't active on roblox and i texted her then mean words cuz i was hurt and she said " i was doing my bed - if you really hate me that much and dont care at all and don't love me just leave me i know you want to do that i know you have very bad emotional things adham me too but this isn't the first time think about it ", then i sent her 15mins vm and she listened to them all and said she wanna text but she's tired of this and she's exhausted , and it was the last day she was sweet with me even when came at 12am on Tuesday she was kinda mean " meh idk i don't feel well actually , i was on my friends house asleep , ok but let me get a cup of tea plz? , i read what you sent on dc iam sorry for the way he's been treating you like shit and dont say that iam the phase here not you please be ok and yes i changed somethings in my dc acc gn stay strong" then i texted her at the moment she didn't see it it was the last time she really was kind , yesterday I've been waiting untill she comes back i saw her playing on roblox at 11pm so i said bad words cuz i was extremely hurt fr but not that mean like curse , and i kept calling her a lot she saw them all then blocked me forever on WhatsApp and my mom's too , and i just found her both ig accs today tried to text her and mention her in a story she didn't opened it yet but iam sure if she did or will she will block me there too... , and then i knew her tiktok acc she had over 11k followers and had very religious vids , i talked to her friend and he told me she said only gn yesterday at 5am , and then he made a gc with me and her I told her did you read what i sent ? She said where? you sent to me everywhere and no i didn't read and i wont , i dont want to do anything with you anymore you harrased me and my family and my friends this is my last message please dont contact me anymore , i tried to just be kind and understanding what's going on cuz it's been only one or 2 days she left the gc and both blocked me and left the server after me writing to her for 20 mins.... , i just cant believe all of this i met her on 5/29 , we had too many chemistry things and fate and i can't play with her on roblox anymore.... , idk what to do she knows iam hurt and completely dead but she didn't seem to care anymore.... Idk ... How?.... I am still shocked really if i had everything she said before I'd ofc type it here but i deleted everything... She always promised me to not be an ex i wish i listened to her on Friday abt leaving her i cant breathe yet i swear and my kitty lexi always reminds me of her too.... Idk what to do... I wanna kms fr fr idk what to do i have her everything and i had too many things with her it's the closest person i really got and someone really unique she doesn't have someone else or anything and i think she completely hates me BUT WHY! WHY THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK DID I DO?! I really wanna kill myself and get free from all that pain it would take me over 6 or 7 months to get over her fr... But as i said i know her roblox her number her email her ig both accounts her dc her tiktok . i tried to ask her just to change them and make it easy for me to move on.. she didn't.... And she wont... This is extremely impossible for me idk how i can do this she always helped me getting out of social media and always supported me in life and religion and stuff she never seemed toxic to me...idk what else i can say i wish i could say more i can't even cry since my heart is very broken and it doesn't let me...
imma grown ass straight male watching this haha
Wait what about matea she chop liver(matea matters)
A sister is never a good replacement for a girlfriend (even in Missouri)
Me and my boyfriend is do long distance relationship ❤❤
My boyfriend romantay is go long distance relationship
@@SaniaWebb-vb9jx I chat with a guy I met on grindr, but he lives way off, I'm nervous about getting serious.
We talking 7-8 hrs for real. 😢 in a day
Long distance is haaaaarf
You getting rid of that beautiful dangling strand of hair was SO disrespectful Mak! How dare you
Mak 🫶🫶
Heyyy
god, you look like a Disney character
Mak here recommends us tips and then us not to listen to her Mak😭
I think it helped many people who will absolutely listen to her :)
@@lilyLEP oh i did not mean this in a bad way😭 am really sorry if that came out wrong
@@haniyahwasif16nono, don’t worry! ik you didnt mean it in a bad way, tone is hard to read in text :))
🤣
Hehe My gf lives 10000 km/ 6300 miles away from me
And I can only see her in minimum of 3 years if everything goes well
YAYY DONT WE JUST LOVE BEING IN LOVE 😀👍
As a straight man I love lesbians
Long distance relationships just dont work.....not happening. If you person that wants it constantly..No way in hell am i having a partner states apart. ......No way!