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i grew up in the bible belt as a lesbian and my best friend is trans. i ran away to colorado when i turned 18 and begged my best friend to go w me but they stayed. i lived my authentic life while they shoved themself more and more into the closet in order to keep their dream job. idk if anyone will read this comment but this movie hit so so close to home in a way i haven’t seen anyone talk about. i AM maddy, my best friend IS owen. i have my heart while they’re slowly suffocating in silence
yess i love this interpretation, ive seen people think it was horrible for painting the experience of accepting queerness/ transness as "killing your old self by burying them in the dirt" but that's just not at all it, you're already in the dirt, suffocating, acceptance is digging out and finding a better way to live.
@@lichemnn I will also point out the idea of the "deadname," which I feel Maddy was encouraging Owen to do-- put aside this identity. That being said, I am a sucker for openly interpretable endings.
I interpreted Maddy's intimate touch while drawing the tattoo on Owen as very feminine, like she was touching her as if Owen was a girl (if that makes sense) and then that same night, Owen sees this glowing TV-like orb above her. Which I interpreted as Owen having this first feeling of gender euphoria, this first realization that maybe she's trans because of the way Maddy touched her.
Yes! I was also thinking like… the way maddy treated Owen was “just like one of the girls” so to have a close female friend, in a typically feminine setting (makeovers at a sleepover), and feminine relationship really sparked that gender euphoria for her
something that i never see people talk about is that at the very end of the film , when the credits end , you can hear the faint sounds of rainfall -- possibly implying that owen got out . and i think that more positive outlook on her fate and the film as a whole is something that should be more broadly considered
That's how I choose to look at it. What we saw was just one episode of The Pink Opaque, the season 6 premier. It ends on a cliffhanger because they always do. What happens next is a mystery, but there is hope for Owen, there is still time
@@lazyrmcit reminds me of the Buffy episode where she believes this is all a fantasy. She sees herself in a mental hospital fighting for her sanity and to return a normal teen life with both her parents on her side. The last scene leaves us to ponder whether she made the right choice between reality and fantasy. It can really alter how you see the entire show if you choose to believe she really is a sad psychotic girl living in fantasy where she's special and powerful
Seeing the movie as an object and the tv show as an object, especially since Owen is narrating the movie, I assume since the movie ends, he gets out and gets into the tv show.
A really interesting detail is when we see the deaths of Tara and Isabel, Taras death is shot in the aspect ratio of The Pink Opaque with the black bars. Isabels death is shot in the aspect ratio of the actual movie showing the very REAL death she has.
As an aroace person, I didn’t think Owen was aroace, for me the dialogue was showing more that she fears exploring that side of her, because she might realize that she isn't "normal". She could be aroace but she is never going to actually question or try it because she is scared that her worst fear is true, that she is truly different.
Yeah honestly relating to my experiences as a trans man I used to identify as ace not more so because of a lack of sexual attraction but the deep discomfort I felt with exploring that side of myself, similar to Owen. I see a lot of my younger self in her character with wanting to bury that part of yourself and wanting to let it die out.
I actually laughed a lil the way he said the line, then I just was ... "oh shit, Thats me, hey thats me", looking into your sexual attraction, opening your guts, and finding there is nothing, and you want to hide it from the world at first thinking you are broken, at the end Owen beeing ace or not still really resonated with me and to alot of us, the whole movie did
oh my god i can barely articulate how much the scene with the pink ghost tattoo affected me, i was crying the whole time. the intimacy of it was so quiet but intense it felt like my heart was being squeezed out of my chest. even just thinking about it makes me tear up a little still. and then seeing owen have to furiously scrub it off her neck?? devastating
That shit was so intimate I had to physically look away from the screen, I didn't expect Owen to wash it off right away. It's literally the next scene it's so sad
The increasingly horror-y scenes with Owen’s father are maybe my favourite in the movie. I don’t think he gets enough acknowledgment. After we finished watching, my mom said how sad she thought it was that even as a little kid, Own couldn’t speak to her father and needed her mom to do it for her. As scary as it was, I thought that dynamic was very natural. Because their relationship is so implied and the movie mixes metaphor and literal events, the extent to with Owen’s father actively terrorizes her isn’t important. When you are not who you’re meant to be, and your parents know it, you can’t afford to push boundaries in even the smallest ways. They are already angry because you exist in the wrong way, and whether it’s true or paranoia, you have to be afraid that if you don’t act right, if you ask for too much, you will finally run out of any remaining acceptance. If you keep your head down and obey in the ways you can, maybe there will never be consequences. Owen’s father is everything that is wrong with her world and her approach to life and the people around her. He taught her to apologize without ever saying it, and she never let go of the fear of punishment. Maybe she doesn’t just want to be as normal as she can. Maybe she desperately wants to be innocent, too.
yes, when I watched the film the other day I thought her dad was like a physical insert of Mr. Melancholy always watching her. He was such this dark oppressive force in her life that made it like a prison, just like Mr. Melancholy wanted.
I understood the father was supposed to be a menacing and abusive character, but I couldn't help but feel sympathy for him in some ways (probably cause I see my dad in him a little bit which ain't exactly a good thing). In the scene where we see him run downstairs to Owen who has her head stuck in the tv, I was thinking of the scene from his perspective. He heard loud noises and ran downstairs and sees his "son" seemingly being electrocuted so he tries his best to help even if he doesn't understand exactly what's going on. I don't think this is the perspective that was meant, though some would say any perspective is valid. Overall I saw the father figure as being a man who feels he needs to conform to the manly stereotype and be hard on his kid etc (patriarchy shit). He wants to help his "son" but can't really see things from any perspective than his own so he helps in the way he can think (I said "son" since that part was essentially from the perspective of the father who would not know Owen is trans) Perhaps I'm relating his character too much to my own father...
@@zuthalron7123 i've just finished a second watch and am thinking a lot more about this character, i think even first watch i saw Frank in that scene as (from his perspective) acting from love and compassion, trying to save his child from something horrible - oh no the tv is devouring my son! now he's vomiting silver and i need to help him wash it away so i don't lose him! - but this time i'm also looking at Frank's tv habits... always late at night, always black & white, always zombified.. what if the real reason he makes Owen go to bed around 10 is because after 11 is when the shows come on that mean to him what The Pink Opaque means to Owen, or something of equivalent weight? "...the last program in the block before the network switches to black & white reruns..."
Same... I know the film isn't for me identity/audience representation-wise, but Owen's social anxiety and awkwardness, loneliness, dissociation, and fear of introspection resonated with me on such a deep level.
god, you and me both. this movie absolutely fucking shattered me. i watched it p much an hour ago and i am still here, ruminating over it and crying. we saw the tv slow, and there is still time.
Being trans myself, when Owen is asked whether they like boys or girls and simply replies with "I think I like TV shows.", that hit me really hard. Before transition, I was projecting an image of who I SHOULD be out into the world. But if you asked me about myself? I wouldn't be able to tell you. A common question in dating is "Well, what are you into? What do you like to do? What are you interested in?" And that was always a question I could never answer. Because I wasn't answering as me. I didn't -know- what I should like or shouldn't like. I took on characteristics from people around me, but nothing was my own. Nowadays, I could write a book on everything I like and things that I'm interested and into, lol. But back then it was an impossible question. How do you tell people what your interests are if you're not you? There were many times I tried to look inside, and there was just nothing there. It was terrifying. I'm glad I finally got out of that, but holy crap did this movie hit that part of my past hard.
Omg, I'm also trans and I feel you so hard. When I was watching the movie I mostly felt frustrated that it wasn't what I thought it would be and that it was pretty confusing at times. I'm so used to anything related to trans people being taboo in Hollywood, especially since I was watching this movie on the same streaming service that also proudly hosts Joanne's fantasy films.
as a trans person, i feel the same as you about the “i think i like tv shows” line. through my own experiences, getting into relationships pre-transition is scary and unsatisfying because you can’t be yourself, you’re pretending, i guess, to be someone else. i think the scene with owen and their manager as they eat ties into this, where he asks if owen would want to hook up with the woman he was with. owen can’t even answer because, at least in my opinion, sexuality is a very uncomfortable topic. you don’t want to engage in sexuality because your body isn’t yours, isn’t what it should be.
I went alone to an almost full showing. There was a stunned silence when the movie ended. Like everyone stayed in their seats to watch the credits, as if it were a marvel movie, as if the dyphoria of Owen were mutated into a dissatisfaction with the arc of the story, and punching the audience in the gut. Realizing it’s over, and still being in denial.
Same here - I'm so used to the sounds of bags or something as people gather to leave but, silence. I couldn't move from my seat for a good 2 minutes - It felt like I'd held my breath for the whole runtime and couldn't remember how to open my lungs.
i also want to point out that owen’s asthma is a metaphor and also the explanation the evil moon man gives for her LITERALLY running out of oxygen because she’s buried underground and it gets worse as she ages because she’s running out of time to escape before she dies in the pink opaque world
as someone who embraced their identity like Maddy, the true terror of this film for me was the glimpse into the “bad end” that my life could have been that Owen forced me to look at. Owen as a character was such a terrifying thing to witness, because i was *almost* her. if it hadn’t been for my ex at the time encouraging me to be myself at 17, if i didn’t have such warmth and acceptance right that second, i would have taken my identity to the grave. Owen was a very difficult look into what that could have been like, and affirmed for me more than anything that i made the right choice. this film somehow made me *more* transgender than before i watched it lmaom
i felt this way while watching, but i only came out and left home and became myself in my 20s. and even now that i’m out and transitioning, i feel like owen often, since the desire to stay safe and please others is relevant often in the average human lifespan. even so, i think opportunities to change keep coming forever, every time staying the same feels unbearable, until you die. somehow it’s both hopeful and terrifying. if i took this to my grave, i still would have been myself deep down even as they buried me in the wrong clothes.
Pretty sure that Owen didn't rat out Maddie. She just wanted an excuse not to go and meet her, so she asks the mother of the boy who she's been pretending to spend time with (when she's really hanging out with Maddie) to rat Owen out to her own parents. Then she'll be grounded and have a reason not to go.
This is exactly what I thought. She wasn't ratting her out. She was deeply and utterly terrified. Her acting wasn't tattletaleing, she was hyperventilating and shaking and incredibly afraid. It reminded me of my worst anxiety attacks. I just wanted to hug her
I am a trans man mostly living a lie and this movie plus your beautiful analysis has helped me realize that. I settle for being referred to by my chosen name when my voice disgusts me. I settle for masc clothing, sports bras and binders when I despise the way my chest looks. I settle for people correcting themselves, never calling them out about misgendering as I don't wanna be seen as disruptive. You are right. I don't have time to wait for my mom to use my preferred name or for my country to be safer. I have to make the radical change myself and hope those around me are willing to deal. I have time and I need to live it
I'm 17 and I just graduated high school three months ago. Last week I watched I saw the Tv glow. This week, I got a job delivering mail in the city I grew up in and I may have acquired a small apartment there as well. I signed up for a theatre class and I'm looking into starting T. I'm gonna use MY name when I get there. I'm looking into stick 'n poke so I can get 'there is still time' permanently on MY body. I'm getting out of this town, you know that?
looking inside the static of owen’s chest I saw black and white re runs. maddy said the channel that showed the pink opaque, after it was cancelled, showed black and white re runs of older shows. that made me think that there’s still time for owen too. like the channel is still on, just waiting for the pink opaque to come back.
Hey. I’m saying this as a trans woman who’s been infuriated by a lot of discourse around the movie. Thank you. I love the fact you got it. You got it and tried to understand it in a way many reviews haven’t. Also. RE the asexuality thing. I agree with you. My own sexuality is still on the gray spectrum but having transitioned I’m more comfortable with all that stuff because it’s not through a male lens. Asexuality doesn’t feel to me like what Owen says. Owen connects it to a feeling that something is missing in a way that is wrong as if it has been removed. Asexuality doesn’t really feel wrong. It’s more just that you were born without it. That there was nothing to remove. Owen kinda is how i was. I had that same denial. That same nagging thing going on making my life just have no light. Fitting into a mould that slices parts off you as you try to fit it. I also see owen as autism coded. She struggles with social cues and eye contact. She also has a monotone affect that all hint at autism. The thing that gets me is that last act. Owen tries to do the “fitter, happier” thing (and i also will not reference Radiohead again) and talks about her family. The thing that gets me is the fake smile as she says it. Then the immediate loss of that smile. I was that. Then i saw the ending with owen cutting herself open as owen knowing. Knowing but cannot externalize it. Then goes right back to hiding it. It left me shaken at the end. The horror for me was that i saw what would have happened to me if i never came out. It’s also interesting to be that you only really see Owen smile twice in the movie. The first time being the time she tries on the dress. And i know that smile. I had that smile. You know it’s wrong. You know if your parents or society saw you, You were finished. And yet you smile. And yet it feels right and you know deep down that the dress isn’t wrong. You wearing it isn’t wrong. It’s all the other stuff. And suddenly you’re trans lol. The other time of course is the end where she sees the TV glow in her chest.
Even though this film is mostly about the trans experience, I think this film can relate to anyone hiding a part of themselves. It can reach a lot of audiences, in a different profound way. I know being neurodivergent this meant something to me and about how I "mask" to try to fit in with society. But literally I am dying inside because I feel I cannot be my "true" self. So yeah, a deep movie overall.
Can say as an Autistic trans person, this movie hit me way harder in the Autism than in the trans, if that makes sense. If society looks at you like you’re wrong, this movie will probably scream it at you
hearing the director talk about their child/teenage-hood and how they constantly used media as an escape i just felt so seen by the director and their film in a way i haven’t ever felt with a movie before
i personally am aroace and trans, but i don't see owen as asexual. everyone has a different experience with their identities and being transgender, but i think something that quite a few trans people experience is not really being able to engage in romantic or sexual activities due to dysphoria, even if they do want to. i think both ways of interpreting that scene are great though! also, can confirm, not transitioning cracks your lips! my lips were always cracked and chapped but then i transitioned.
yeah i'm an an aspec trans person as well and i completely agree with you on this. if im being honest i didn't even make the asexual connection until i saw people talking about it online
I'm not ace myself, but as a transfemme who thoroughly engaged in romantic/sexual activities before starting to transition recently, I still second this. Nevertheless, while being a relevant aspect of her character to question, whether Owen is ace or not isn't that important at the end of the day - because the movie is moreso highlighting how she hasn't even had the space to explore this aspect of herself. Of course there's still people who ultimately find out they're ace before finding out they're trans, but my point still stands.~ While I first interpreted Owen as ace-coded on my first watch before coming to understand the trans subtext as the movie went on, I do like seeing her as allosexual simply because it aligns with some of my experiences rediscovering romance and sex as I transition - but I find both interpretations to be equally valid.
This was me. I couldn't be honest about my sexuality because it felt like it determined my gender. I was labeled a lesbian because heteronormative beauty standards. But if I was a lesbian, that meant I was a woman. And that was unacceptable. So I just couldn't... connect with my attraction to women because it challenged my gender in my head. This doesn't make logical sense but that was my brain at the time. Gender identity can impact everything.
Can confirm that your theory on dysphoria making you avoid even considering your sexuality is 100% a thing. I considered myself ace until I got on T and things clicked when I could interface with my body
"Imagine compromising everything just because other people were a little uncomfortable" This movie made me question my gender and that line is what I've been feeling since I watched this movie
As far as the “burry yourself alive” part Before my egg cracked for a year depression was completely debilitating and I nearly unalived myself about it 3 weeks after that night my egg fully cracked. I think the idea of “burying yourself alive” is speaking on the ego death trans people have before it all finally reaches the surface. For a year I felt I was dying a very slow death and once it hit the breaking point only then did my ego I wouldn’t say completely die but fragmented from what no longer served it enough for my new conscious awareness of being trans was able to begin filling the gaps. That being said, part of the trans experience if you are unaware of even being trans is ego death
The utter helplessness of this movie's ending- even after that brief glimpse of hope- had hit way too close to home, albeit in a different way than Owen's experience. I may not be trans, but I do struggle with major depression, general anxiety and social anxiety. And I personally identify as queer myself. The sort of emptiness Owen had experienced throughout her story- how The Pink Opaque was her way to escape and feel free- really resonated with me. I felt heartbroken and enraged on her behalf by the end, and especially once Maddy returned to try and help her again. I felt the weight of that ending, the message that "There is still time", and how I'm still thinking about it weeks later. For me personally, I Saw The TV Glow is one of the best movies I've seen this year. Thank you so much for making this video. I sincerely appreciate your insight and dissection on this. 💙
The phrase in the sidewalk is what sticks out to me the most about this movie. There is still time. It’s never too late to start transitioning. I really love this movie. It’s so haunting and it is able to very viscerally convey the uncomfortability that is being disphoric.
As someone who is non binary and autistic and struggles with explaining how I feel. This movie replicated my feelings perfectly. I also love Justice Smith and Phoebe Bridgers, and Buffy the vampire Slayer- so I just loved the movie more than I can imagine to say. I bawled my eyes out, because I know so many people that are so afraid to be themselves that they're rather live in pain (including me). I also want to be a filmmaker, so I must rewatch a couple times to take notes. (Ill be editing when I finished the video)
something that i had noticed near the end was while owen was growing older, the people that he worked with at the theater that came to the arcade place don’t even look like they aged, compared to how old owen looks in the beginning.
I’m SO happy to see more stuff on I Saw The TV Glow!!?!?? I’m just a random transgender 14 year old but I’ve experienced almost nothing but odd or just straight up disgusting comments towards my identity for the 3 years I’ve identified this way, and everytime I see any content recognizing trans people in a actually positive and accurate way I get SO happy‼️‼️ I have been rewatching I Saw The TV Glow over and over and I don’t think it’ll ever get old.
Hey, 19 year old trans guy here. Came out at your age and it was the most painful experience of my life (saying this as someone who’s not had it easy). My parents sent me to conversion therapy for a year, almost kicked me out-but they’ve come around. If yours don’t? Best thing about being an adult is you get to choose who to be around. Yes it’s horrible. Humiliating. I don’t know if I’d have the strength to do it again, but I’m so grateful I did. It’s honestly crazy to look in the mirror and see myself these days. My life is not perfect. It finally feels like mine though. Stay strong my friend!
What I took away from the arcade that Owen works in after the theatre is that the neon lights, and dark shadows, and the references to characters/plot from the Pink Opaque was (aside from the narrative significance about Owen finally realizing that she’s suffocating) a nod to trying to recapture/recreate what was fun, magical, good about the past, but because it’s impossible to actually recreate the past (especially through the lens of nostalgia), the result is two dimensional and feels soulless. The arcade technically has all the key ingredients (the colours, the lighting, the props, etc) but because it’s not real, it’s an attempt to synthesize reality, it ends up evoking an almost uncanny valley feeling that’s only heightened by everyone just stopping like npcs when Owen starts screaming. Also, hearing her wheezing in the last scene of the movie made me realize that yes, her difficulty breathing is accelerating because she’s suffocating in real life, in the grave. But also, her asthma was introduced pretty pointedly near the very beginning by her mother maybe as another distraction to keep her from suspecting that what she’s experiencing might not be reality. Notice that we never hear her wheeze or see her use her inhaler while she’s being exposed to relief and an alternate path by Maddie, but once Owen dives head first into denial (and she chooses not to dig herself up, prolonging her burial), her asthma is shown to get increasingly worse, until she’s unable to breathe and starts screaming because a) she’s choking on luna juice and dirt, and b) she’s suffocating on the lie she’s been trying to protect herself with
So when I first watched the film, I had heard it was "a trans film" beforehand. As soon as Fred Durst said "Isn't that a show for girls?" I immediately said "Oh.......fuck." Because it unlocked a deep panic I hadn't felt since I was a child. I could feel Frank judging *me* and not Owen. I could've loved that show. I could've been Owen... ...I *was* Owen... Needless to say, this film emotionally destroyed me, even though I've been out for over 3 and a half years.
Although the ending can be seen as a depressing downer, I think it is actually very purposeful and positive in the message it is trying to convey. The film itself mirrors the sentiment I see a lot in the trans community of people thinking "it's too late for me to transition". But what it leaves the audience with is the feeling that you want to scream through the screen at Owen/Tara that she still has time! She can still escape! Had the plot been resolved one way or the other, it wouldn't inspire the same reaction. That reaction is what the film wants viewers to apply to themselves. To wake up from the nightmare and make the change - because there is still time!` Just like tv shows leave people on cliffhangers at the end of a season, we know that no matter what - the writers can come up with a way for the characters to get out of whatever jam they are in. There is tension, but there is also the knowledge that it's going to be okay, as long as we keep moving forward. The film itself IS the season finale of season 5; we even hear Owen/Tara narrating to the camera like it's an episode. Meta as it may be, in the world of the film it makes sense that we are watching an episode of The Pink Opaque. Even if the show gets "cancelled" we, the audience, can fill in the blank that the characters can still make it out of this situation, no matter how dire it seems. And so can you - dear viewer: you can make it too.
this was how i saw the ending too. it was like a callback to the earlier scene in the movie where she talked about being scared to open herself up. in the end, she DOES. and there's something beautiful there. she's in there. as painful and sad as the ending of this movie is, at the same time, i agree that's 100% the feeling it's trying to invoke. it's NOT too late. as long as you're alive, there IS still time! it's true for everyone. sort of painful but also inspirational lol
What's wild for me just now is that I'm 47 years old and thus just a little bit older than the characters, which is the identical situation as when the Buffy tv series started irl, and so it ends up feeling like it's speaking for me even as I'm sitting here being all too "mature" for it.
I only got to see the film yesterday with my best friend and when the credits came up I refused to leave until it was truly over cause I just didn't want to believe thats how Owen/Isabel's story ends. In a way I think it was the perfect ending because I hate it so much but also during the credits we both turned to each other and both completely understood the film. one of the most viseral experiences I've ever had watching anything
Daniel never EVER refrain from being a dork. Especially where the Eraserhead Baby is concerned. Ive been obsessed with that little freak since 1982. I graduated high school in 1985 and lived my youth before screens. I have mixed feelings about that....I truly envy the artistic REACH this generation has at the tip of their fingertips, but I do miss the "radio silence" and ability to opt out of 24/7 contactability.
I was born in Romania in the 15th century. Trust me, the being out of contact thing wasn't all it's cracked up to be, especially when you're a night owl like me.
@Yosef1952 How hard is it to retain memories over a span of centuries? Does it all blur together at some point? Are some things unforgettable or does it time erode all memories? Ive only been a "night owl" for a few short decades so it is a great opportunity to speak to an Elder
@@daniellewillis2767 Well, there have been so many wonderful necks. They do all sort of blend together. And that feeling of satisfaction after you've drained someone...priceless!
@Yosef1952 Who remembers food, Joseph? I'm talking about history and technology changing around you. I've only been in the club since 87 and already I notice a clear line of demarcation between life before and after not the Internet, but smartphones...
@finnsimpson5253 I say "could've" just because a lot of jobs promote the idea of family amongst coworkers. She had been working at the arcade all that time, even that one guy she walked in on still worked there. Her choice to stay stuck in one place makes it hard to believe she found a partner and had children.
@@davespriteri think either way it’s sad. One is Owen living a lie of a life while they silently suffer and the other is a lonely one where the only “relationships” he has is with coworkers
honestly i think just the way its paced is my favorite part of it its just so... weird it feels like it doesnt start, like its entirely setup to those last few scenes
A key bit of dialogue that I missed on my first viewing, is during the final scene when Owen is leaving the family center, in one apology he says that he is taking a new medicine. I chose to read this, possibly, as starting hormones… I certainly know that when I started hormones there were a few freak outs as I struggled to unbury a true self.
You might be onto something. I read that the original ending was slightly longer and had Owen walking faster and faster until they exited through the doorway into a bright light. I hope that’s the case anyway. For Owen’s sake 😢
I was there staring at the 'Happy Birthday' cake shot at 34:20 wondering why they put 'Happy' in front of 'Birthday' like that and if the 'H RT' part was intentional. I'm *probably* reaching but it would be cool
@@meabhmurphy9090 I don't think you are reaching. It is abundantly clear to me that this movie is blatant but not obvious. Cis people don't see the signs, but literally I rewatched the scene you mentioned and the frame is such that the letters in Happy Birthday that aren't HRT are blocked by balloon strings or crowd. Schoenbrun and their crew are using filmic language to convey that transition is the only non-lethal way out of this pit Owen finds himself in. ("There is still time.")
Your interpretation of Owen's lack of sexual interest is accurate. I had great difficulty assessing my own sexual interest until after i transitioned. Not only was my self identity crucial to my sexual identity, but having the correct hormones made a massive difference. Transitioning is like second puberty and its wonderful to have a pubescent sexual awakening that's affirming and aligned rather than confusing and frightening.
I'm surprised there aren't more videos about it yet, but I guess most people just wait for streaming now. Idk, glad I was able to be one of the first to make a long form essay though:) W for the Legion.
in regards to owen's sexuality: I'm nonbinary, and before I realised this I identified as sexual for years. It felt impossible to imagine myself in a romantic or sexual situation, and in time I realised that's because the 'myself' I was imagining wasn't authentic. The more I became sure of my nonbinary identity, the more I was able to see myself with a partner. As such, Owen explaining this inability to even think of relationships struck a chord for me. That was me, for ages. This isn't to say that Owen is for sure not asexual, but more that Owen can't know until gaining a complete sense of self to imagine with.
I know I really need to see this film when even an analysis of it makes me feel a visceral despair. I often find myself slipping into quiet complacency like Owen whenever I'm around my family, or whenever I have to think about starting the grueling task of transitioning through the NHS (which will only get harder as the UK rapidly slips into extremism and transphobia). But as this film says, "There's still time", and regardless of what I do that time will pass anyway. It's better for me to become who I am later than I wanted to, than to just exist in that horrid state of not-living until I don't even have the choice anymore. The hardest part will be giving up on trying to get my family to understand. They don't want to. I need to accept that or I'm going to be coming out to them again and again forever; never being allowed to follow through because I feel that I can't take the next step without their permission, their acceptance. It will be the end of me before I even begin. I'll at least be far from them soon as I start university. It will be scary to add transition to the list of all the other new challenges I'll have to deal with, but I honestly don't care anymore. I don't care if I get heart disease, or go bald, or end up looking like a neckbeard, or any of the scary things I've been told about T. Continuing the way I am now is a thousand times worse than any of it, the pain is just so constant that it's easy to trick myself into thinking that it's not really there. I'm not going to ignore it anymore, I'm going to dig myself out of this comfortable grave.
@elkeclark5548 Are you American? In the UK you can go to university as a senior student, which I am. But besides, that little factoid of "Your brain only fully develops at 25" is incorrect. It was popularised by a couples' therapist, and has no basis in neuroscientific findings. Perhaps you should start researching the pop-psychology "facts" you hear on the Internet, and stop pretending you know what's best for strangers.
I'm so sorry that that asshole was the only person who responded to you 😥 and I'm more sorry for what you have to deal with irl. I'm so excited that you'll be getting out and going to university soon though, and I really hope you're able to find a good group of queer people to hang out with there!! Good luck with transitioning, I'm so proud of you for accepting yourself ♥️♥️
I love your analysis of the bleacher scene where Owen says she likes tv shows and how it doesn’t necessarily mean that she’s asexual. Also, NEVER APOLOGIZE (Maddy reference⁉️) for being a dork. It’s cool to see a fellow dork that’s as obsessed with this movie as I am lol
thank you for including that New Yorker quote from Jane Schoenbrun near the end. as a trans person who already realized, already came out to all her family, already started steps to transition years ago, one of the things that disturbed me when i saw the movie was how relateable it felt to the life ive been living. how, even though ive nominally accepted myself and started "living authentically" it still feels like im there with owen, stagnating and slowly dying. the film made me realize just how much living with my parents as a young adult has been really suffocating to my sense of self-actualization and that i needed to change that. unfortunately, several months later i still feel just as stuck, but your video (and jane's quote) reminded me of this. thank you
Man. This movie. It was fascinating in a meta way, having that horror movie feeling of "GIRL YOU NEED TO RUN YOU'RE GOING TO DIE!!" being evoked so powerfully through nothing but the unending mundanity of an unfulfilled life. As a queer and autistic person who has always been extremely out and unmasked, it was both very sad and also vindicating to see it play out - the horror of forcing yourself into a box that doesn't fit you and was made up by other people, desperately apologizing for not fitting in, to people who could not give less of a shit about you. You have to be yourself, otherwise what's the fucking point of being alive? I hope people really take the message to heart. There is still time.
oh my god I went to see this movie in theaters without knowing anything about it, and it fucked me up so hard I have been waiting for someone to make a video about it, even better that your the one doing it
This movie literally changed me I’ve never felt like that walking out of a theater, im not trans but the way the movie showed the horror of repressing your authentic self ugh idk so much abt it terrified me but inspired me to live my life differently
as a genderqueer person in a very not accepting family myself, this movie means a lot to me. The messages and the feelings of dysphoria and being ostracized due to your identity hits so fucking hard. I can agree with you when you say that this movie is mesmerizing visually but the moment I understood owens situation i knew that I would love this movie. As for the sex thing. I know everyone is different and that many trans and genderqueer people enjoy sex or at the very least it doesn't bother them enough to deter them from the act. but for me personally I can very much agree with both takes. I'm asexual, and a very large reason for that is due to my assigned at birth sex. Sure sometimes gender aligns with my sex but those moments are sparce and frankly rather scarce. Any sexual acts that I would commit or even consider while in that aligned state will result in a sense of guilt, extreme dysphoria, and overall discomfort when i think about it while in a different gendered... mindset? just, it doesn't feel right. Besides that I just generally don't really enjoy sexual things and what have you so I'm asexual regardless. But during the time it took to discover this about myself I did go through a pretty harsh rollercoaster of "maybe it's more ok right now" and "nope that was a horrible horrible decision". In conclusion. It is different for everyone. that's really important to remember. But your take on this could be a very valid perspective on the statement, since it's pretty accurate at describing my experience
I really really appreciate all the cool mfers who have been engaging with my question, I was genuinely very curious if my read was at all close, so thank you!
I just want you to know you are very correct in your theory that even the thought of sexual contact can be offputting when you’re trans but haven’t realised/accepted it yet and/or transitioned. Note, it’s definitely not everyone’s experience, but it is definitely an experience that a lot of people go through. That being said, I think an ace reading can be equally as powerful. Owen/Isabel is obviously trans, but might also be asexual as well, and I think any interpretation of being so far in the closet that you dissociate your life away is absolutely devastating. But it’s so important to know and understand that nobody is going to “save” you from the closet. People might confront you or try to force you out, but you as an individual still has to make the decision to accept and live in your truth, and it’s a hard thing to do.
Perfect, so I can stay up till 5 when I need to be up at 9 for a toy convention! Edit: so I decided to fully watch this later as I was putting my dice away in a new holder I got for my birthday and I did not expect to be crying... And I quote "I just wanted to put my dice away..."
thank you so much, i got halfway through your video, got convinced so hard and watched the movie, then came back to watch the rest of your vid, and i'm so glad i did because it was definitely something that i needed to watch mostly untainted. what a fucking PHENOMENAL movie. it's hauntingly beautiful, and your commentary on it is so concise and gets across everything i was thinking ughhhhhhh!!!!!! wonderful work!!! also, i truly don't believe this movie could have ended any other way. horror is innately tragedy. (although i love the idea that the rain in the credits means that she made it back to the pink opaque)
After watching this movie earlier today, I knew I'd immediately want to go to a bunch of different video analyses that were approaching this film from a more educated lens than my own, pick apart its densities (very good job at that by the way, thank you) - as soon as I finished it, I knew I'd be heavily fixating on it for a while. What I did NOT expect was for the subject of *yesterday's* fixation, Cabaret, to get referenced during the credits of this video. The Forces are contacting me and they're telling me to engage in more queer media
Love your videos man plssss don't explode!!!!!!! (I've had a really rough week and can confidently say seeing this in my youtube notifications made it worth it)
I really enjoyed hearing your interpretation of the movie and how you related your own life experiences in comparison. Gravity Falls started airing when I was in my 20s and I watched every episode as they came out. Cartoons should be enjoyed by anyone regardless of age. As a trans person who falls on the asexual spectrum, my interpretation of Owen saying they just like movies was that they hadn't been able to explore their sexual preferences at all. Their description of being hollowed out inside perfectly described a feeling I experienced all through my adolescence, even before I knew what the term "transgender" meant. It's an emptiness that comes not just from being disconnected from your body but also from blocking out your true desires and feelings. You can't allow yourself you explore who you might want to date because instinctively you know that will lead you to having to explore who you want to be. Owen might be asexual, they might be allosexual, the viewer has no way of knowing because Owen doesn't yet know.
really enjoyed watching you cover this movie!! it quickly became my favourite after 1 watch (i don’t think i can stomach another) and am glad to see someone as passionate and understanding about it as i am. as a trans man, i think your hypothesis regarding owen’s feelings on sex is highly likely! that is the message i got opposed to complete asexuality, mostly because i also (to this day, tbh) go back and forth on whether or not i fall on the asexual spectrum and struggle to comprehend my place in sex completely because it feels impossible to participate in, in a way that feels right to me. this can also extend to romantic ventures not involving sex. like, i was totally that teenager who thought to themselves “i like tv shows, not people.” thank you for sharing, i hope more people who enjoyed this film as much as people like you and i, and these other commenters, come across this video and decide to give it a watch because you touched on all of the aspects i was hoping to find in a commentary on it!
cried like a baby while watching the movie and now cried like a baby watching this video :D such a great video covering such a BRILLIANT movie............. im still haunted by the ending scene and that scene where maddie walks away while "there is still time" message shows absolutely broke me. thank you! great video
My brother and I saw it twice and we loved it. It was intense. I had been dealing with a lot of feelings and that message there is still time made me tear up.
I loved this video and your breakdown, I personally came to the same conclusions as you. I had only seen it once so i didnt remember Maddie saying "never apologize" and tying that to the ending, that was a great point to bring up. Thank you for this :)
I was waiting for a long form video on this film, you explained it so beautifully yet so simply. I really hope someone who was confused on this film watches this and gets their questions answered. This film deserves to be enjoyed by everyone.
THANK YOU for making a video about this movie . you are one of the very few content creators that i trust to talk about this film without butchering it
no words to thank you for this video, i'll def become a patreon. i knew the way i felt about it, (being trans myself), but i don't think i had the words to properly express them, so the way you put it here, it's just marvelous. also you made me cry in my office, around a lot of people, so there's that lol for real tho, thank you so much for this, Daniel you're a real champ
Found this channel about a week ago because of your series on Jack Stauber, and I absolutely love your content! I don't comment very often so I'm afraid my words wont make sense, but I'll try my best. This was a wonderfully structured video, and it's my introduction to this movie. I haven't really seen much about it, (and I admit I probably won't watch it in full because I'm easily disturbed) but this was a really interesting analysis and I'm glad I got to hear about the movie from this channel. I appreciated the warnings and, I guess all in all, this was a generally comfortable video. I think what I want to say is thank you for sharing this. This helped me realize quite a few things about myself, and I probably wouldn't have realized those things without this. There are things from the movie that I used to relate to somewhat, such as not willing to take an active part in my own life and pushing down things out of the fear my own family will reject me. But I've been doing my best to take care of my mental health, and myself in general, and I'm glad to say I think I've made a lot of progress. [So if anyone's reading this: trust me, it does get better! It really does, even when it feels like it won't.] I guess although I don't feel that way anymore, at least not as much as I did, it's interesting learning of a film that puts together pieces I wasn't able to put together myself a while ago. So thank you! I kind of started rambling so, once again, I hope my words make at least some sense. Hope you have a great day, same goes to anyone else reading this!
alex g has been my favorite artist for years and i don’t know how i missed the lyrics to the same and im so glad you made me think about it more in depth. i think about his lyrics so much
I would like to chime in on that one line about Owen's insides feeling dug out and empty when she tries to think about herself in a sexual context: yes, that very much resonated with me as a binary trans person who experiences a lot of dysphoria. I may not be transfem, but similarly I really struggle to engage with sexuality through my own body (even just in the context of thoughts) for dysphoria reasons, so the line hit really hard for me for that reason. Because trying to think about myself in that context as I am now feels so wrong and uncomfortable that I might as well have been shovelled empty. I'm sure it could also have been relatable from an asexual perspective but that's how I read it. That baseline dissociation that a lot of trans people who can't transition use to survive can feel its absolute thinnest when one tries to think of oneself as a sexual being: because that's a place where that physical irreconcilability is at its most manifest
"lets talk about sex....i know, gross" my aroace said YES out loud lmao I think that your hypothesis might be right, owen might not wanna have sex to begin with not bc of being ace but bc of their socially constructed and assigned sexual partner (limited to only female). I like these kind of videos, it reminds me of being in AP literature and breaking down pages of descriptive situations with no dialogue and still being able to figure out what exactly is happening and the true meaning behind it is. I remember loving movie break downs when I got into a film course, it was like literature analysis but in a different tone. "Get Out" was the first movie I saw where I paused and pointed at the screen as I realized the role colors play, noise plays, and diction plays. LOVE movie breakdowns. Can't wait for more of these!! (saw gravity falls as a kid growing up and rewtached it twice now as an adult, it makes me appreciate it even more)
as an ace and trans person, i think owen's line could be taken as either way? i think it would be dysphoria inducing because of being seen as not who she really is both physically and as a person (i know i couldn't picture myself with someone or even take the time to imagine it because i couldn't imagine myself in the first place) but also after i did transition, i still felt the same and that my lack of attraction went beyond my discomfort. I think dysphoria could hinder sexual attraction, but not always romantic. telling when someone is attractive is a separate concept from wanting to be in a relationship with them. i really do think this could be taken any way, but in the context of the movie and how each character has their own identities being addressed, idk if being ace and trans would be something that the filmmaker would deliberately choose to do (or maybe i'm just cynical and bitter about ace under representation lol)
you know when I was watching this movie the thing I walked away with is almost that it was a bit heavy handed in the trans allegory. I was like "I feel almost like the trans allegory was jackhammered in" then I saw the fucking reviews and now I was like WTF DOES ANYONE HAVE MEDIA LITERACY ANYMORE.
Yeah it's so insanely unsubtle that you have to either actively be trying to not notice it or have literally never listened to a trans person in your your entire life. I think the second is true for a lot of those losers.
Not sure if anyone else has commented this but the scene where Owen says she has her own family i believe she’s talking about the tv. As in the tv is her family. Beautiful analysis!
When I watched this movie, I was left breathless. I started my transition a little late in life because I was always waiting for the right time. The time to tell my family, the time at work, the time to let it all sink in. But It grew longer and longer and honestly I couldn't keep waiting for everyone around me and did it in secret. I was fired from my travel agent job because the clientel "wouldn't like it" is what I was told. Family asking me why I decided to do this and ruin my life basically. But I couldn't keep waiting. It was tearing me up inside. Also, with this movie I felt an actual relation to how much the two loved the Pink Opaque. Growing up I loved Digimon. I'm pretty sure that was my transawakening as I would Constantly tell people to call me by "matt" one of the characters in the first season. I related with his character, and how dark and deep Digimon was to me. Trying to watch it now there's so much cringe within it, so much missing from the american dub that I watched, but it still meant something to me. My whole life I wanted to get the crest of friendship (and kindness but mostly friendship) Tattoo'd onto the inner of my forearm. I carried around their crests on and off throughout my life as well around my neck or as a keychain. To remind myself that I am not a bad person like I think I am. I am a good friend, even if I make mistakes, and with the crest of kindness to always be kind. I wanted them close because that's what I held so dear to myself growing up. I made friends easily but, I moved a lot (military brat as well) so every few years I had to make new friends. But I remember when Digimon felt so real to me it was a hard escape from reality. I had maybe one person at a time in my life each time I knew that knew how much and how real it felt to me. Just like their escape and findings within the Pink Opaque. They discovered themselves. By the end of the movie I grew so scared. That I would end up working a job I hated, always apologizing to others for me just being me. For being surrounded by people who wouldn't understand me and i'd continue to have to mask day in and day out. Then I would just be nothing. I lived a life I hated. Luckily I'm finally finding my way, even though I am turning 32, and it took a lot of trial and error. I felt relief because I watched it with my partner who loves me for all my little quirks and everything and I am actually Traveling across the country to live with them finally, right as I type this comment. My life is finally feeling like my own. But I wont forget my escapes. This movie was so much more to me than just queer allegory, literal meaning with the escapism with tv shows and that one friends that just gets it and helps you but then you lose them. I hope this made sense if anyone is reading it.
I saw this movie as a pre-release and was watching it under vaguely stressed circumstances so when I left the theaters I really didn't understand what was going on. I felt the queer aspect of the film in a deeply almost instinctual level but I hadn't really processed the movie so I've been wanting to see it again to let everything sort of wash over me again. Your analysis was super thorough and brought to light all the moments I didn't really process the first time around. And honestly, it hurt as well. The message this movie brings is so close to the situation that I'm living and the terrifying thought of "You'll be like this forever. You'll refuse yourself what you want for the sake of others who don't really care" absolutely guts me. Fantastic video!
I love this film so much. I like to think that she comes out one day. Re the line about liking tv shows, I agree that she's dysphoric, not ace. I dont think she'll know who she likes or doesnt like until she's being herself.
the money machine whatever thing gave me so much hope for a moment, because it looks like it'd be representing a coffin/being buried as it's sideways like it's depicted elsewhere. i was like "oh boy! finally! she's gonna do it!" and i was INSTANTLY punched in the gut
OMG what a great birthday gift from Mr. Profeta himself! I want to watch this movie but I think I'll get too freaked out by it. Also happy priDE MONth.
The fact that I watched both I Saw the TV Glow AND The Society of the Blind Eye for the first time today is such a hysterical coincidence. Anyway I'm obsessed with this movie now so thank you for the video.
I was hoping to release this at 12 am. It's now 4 am.
Join my patreon so I can keep torturing myself, you get cool stuff YAYYYYY: www.patreon.com/danielprofeta
Stay safe, stay sane, we are Legion. And we are many.
You should do an analysis on yaelokre!
@@Akikahni I was literally just reading the lore lmao
@@danielprofeta YAAAYYYY
i grew up in the bible belt as a lesbian and my best friend is trans. i ran away to colorado when i turned 18 and begged my best friend to go w me but they stayed. i lived my authentic life while they shoved themself more and more into the closet in order to keep their dream job. idk if anyone will read this comment but this movie hit so so close to home in a way i haven’t seen anyone talk about. i AM maddy, my best friend IS owen. i have my heart while they’re slowly suffocating in silence
I hope your “Owen” will one day live authentically. 😢
I hope you and your friend can be the dynamic duo of Isabel and Tara ❤ there is still time!
@@lillykatediaz i hope so too. one day they’ll realize you can’t push down who you are. until then, i’ll be cheering them on from states away
Owen doesn't bury herself in the dirt at the end because the end is a call to action for YOU to DIG YOURSELF out of your GRAVE and start LIVING
yess i love this interpretation, ive seen people think it was horrible for painting the experience of accepting queerness/ transness as "killing your old self by burying them in the dirt" but that's just not at all it, you're already in the dirt, suffocating, acceptance is digging out and finding a better way to live.
@@lichemnn I will also point out the idea of the "deadname," which I feel Maddy was encouraging Owen to do-- put aside this identity.
That being said, I am a sucker for openly interpretable endings.
I can't believe i got tricked into watching doomed yuri
YOU GET IT!!!!!!!!!!!
There's still time!
I interpreted Maddy's intimate touch while drawing the tattoo on Owen as very feminine, like she was touching her as if Owen was a girl (if that makes sense) and then that same night, Owen sees this glowing TV-like orb above her. Which I interpreted as Owen having this first feeling of gender euphoria, this first realization that maybe she's trans because of the way Maddy touched her.
i thought the same thing! this also ties in with maddy basically knowing owen was trans before owen did
Yes! I was also thinking like… the way maddy treated Owen was “just like one of the girls” so to have a close female friend, in a typically feminine setting (makeovers at a sleepover), and feminine relationship really sparked that gender euphoria for her
@@artsyary7962 yess awe seeing owen in a dress with maddy almost like cheering her on was so sweet
The neck drawing scene was so incredibly damn sapphic
That’s what I was thinking! It felt like she was touching him the same way you would if you were about to braid your friends hair at a sleepover
something that i never see people talk about is that at the very end of the film , when the credits end , you can hear the faint sounds of rainfall -- possibly implying that owen got out . and i think that more positive outlook on her fate and the film as a whole is something that should be more broadly considered
That's how I choose to look at it. What we saw was just one episode of The Pink Opaque, the season 6 premier. It ends on a cliffhanger because they always do. What happens next is a mystery, but there is hope for Owen, there is still time
I choose to read the ending as Owen leaving that arcade to make it back to the football field to make it back to the camp.
@@lazyrmcit reminds me of the Buffy episode where she believes this is all a fantasy. She sees herself in a mental hospital fighting for her sanity and to return a normal teen life with both her parents on her side. The last scene leaves us to ponder whether she made the right choice between reality and fantasy. It can really alter how you see the entire show if you choose to believe she really is a sad psychotic girl living in fantasy where she's special and powerful
Seeing the movie as an object and the tv show as an object, especially since Owen is narrating the movie, I assume since the movie ends, he gets out and gets into the tv show.
A really interesting detail is when we see the deaths of Tara and Isabel, Taras death is shot in the aspect ratio of The Pink Opaque with the black bars. Isabels death is shot in the aspect ratio of the actual movie showing the very REAL death she has.
As an aroace person, I didn’t think Owen was aroace, for me the dialogue was showing more that she fears exploring that side of her, because she might realize that she isn't "normal". She could be aroace but she is never going to actually question or try it because she is scared that her worst fear is true, that she is truly different.
Yeah honestly relating to my experiences as a trans man I used to identify as ace not more so because of a lack of sexual attraction but the deep discomfort I felt with exploring that side of myself, similar to Owen. I see a lot of my younger self in her character with wanting to bury that part of yourself and wanting to let it die out.
yeah ! i saw that scene as a wonderful way to portray the absolute disgust and horror of dealing with dysphoria
I actually laughed a lil the way he said the line, then I just was ... "oh shit, Thats me, hey thats me", looking into your sexual attraction, opening your guts, and finding there is nothing, and you want to hide it from the world at first thinking you are broken, at the end Owen beeing ace or not still really resonated with me and to alot of us, the whole movie did
oh my god i can barely articulate how much the scene with the pink ghost tattoo affected me, i was crying the whole time. the intimacy of it was so quiet but intense it felt like my heart was being squeezed out of my chest. even just thinking about it makes me tear up a little still. and then seeing owen have to furiously scrub it off her neck?? devastating
That shit was so intimate I had to physically look away from the screen, I didn't expect Owen to wash it off right away. It's literally the next scene it's so sad
i felt so much grief watching her scrub it off in that feeling of wrongness or disgust, her complete inability to accept herself hurt so much
The increasingly horror-y scenes with Owen’s father are maybe my favourite in the movie. I don’t think he gets enough acknowledgment. After we finished watching, my mom said how sad she thought it was that even as a little kid, Own couldn’t speak to her father and needed her mom to do it for her. As scary as it was, I thought that dynamic was very natural. Because their relationship is so implied and the movie mixes metaphor and literal events, the extent to with Owen’s father actively terrorizes her isn’t important. When you are not who you’re meant to be, and your parents know it, you can’t afford to push boundaries in even the smallest ways. They are already angry because you exist in the wrong way, and whether it’s true or paranoia, you have to be afraid that if you don’t act right, if you ask for too much, you will finally run out of any remaining acceptance. If you keep your head down and obey in the ways you can, maybe there will never be consequences. Owen’s father is everything that is wrong with her world and her approach to life and the people around her. He taught her to apologize without ever saying it, and she never let go of the fear of punishment. Maybe she doesn’t just want to be as normal as she can. Maybe she desperately wants to be innocent, too.
yes, when I watched the film the other day I thought her dad was like a physical insert of Mr. Melancholy always watching her. He was such this dark oppressive force in her life that made it like a prison, just like Mr. Melancholy wanted.
I understood the father was supposed to be a menacing and abusive character, but I couldn't help but feel sympathy for him in some ways (probably cause I see my dad in him a little bit which ain't exactly a good thing). In the scene where we see him run downstairs to Owen who has her head stuck in the tv, I was thinking of the scene from his perspective. He heard loud noises and ran downstairs and sees his "son" seemingly being electrocuted so he tries his best to help even if he doesn't understand exactly what's going on. I don't think this is the perspective that was meant, though some would say any perspective is valid. Overall I saw the father figure as being a man who feels he needs to conform to the manly stereotype and be hard on his kid etc (patriarchy shit). He wants to help his "son" but can't really see things from any perspective than his own so he helps in the way he can think (I said "son" since that part was essentially from the perspective of the father who would not know Owen is trans) Perhaps I'm relating his character too much to my own father...
@@zuthalron7123 i've just finished a second watch and am thinking a lot more about this character, i think even first watch i saw Frank in that scene as (from his perspective) acting from love and compassion, trying to save his child from something horrible - oh no the tv is devouring my son! now he's vomiting silver and i need to help him wash it away so i don't lose him! - but this time i'm also looking at Frank's tv habits... always late at night, always black & white, always zombified.. what if the real reason he makes Owen go to bed around 10 is because after 11 is when the shows come on that mean to him what The Pink Opaque means to Owen, or something of equivalent weight? "...the last program in the block before the network switches to black & white reruns..."
@@felixpringle4731 YES that would tie into the whole not letting go of the past theme. Maybe Owen's dad went through the same story.
it reminded me wayyy too much about how I felt about my father as a kid
So dysphoria caused my eczema?? Thanks a lot GENDER.
It's always flipping GENDER, back at it again.
ttttttsukasa tenma.... pfp.... haiii
@@spontaneouslycombusted7664 HOLY SHIT MINORI PFPER?!??
FELLOW TSUKASA TENMA SPOTTED!!
WAIT WHAT
owen is one of the most relatable characters i’ve ever seen in a film and that terrifies me
Same... I know the film isn't for me identity/audience representation-wise, but Owen's social anxiety and awkwardness, loneliness, dissociation, and fear of introspection resonated with me on such a deep level.
Same
god, you and me both. this movie absolutely fucking shattered me. i watched it p much an hour ago and i am still here, ruminating over it and crying. we saw the tv slow, and there is still time.
gerard way mentioned... ily
no seriously like where are the cameras
Being trans myself, when Owen is asked whether they like boys or girls and simply replies with "I think I like TV shows.", that hit me really hard. Before transition, I was projecting an image of who I SHOULD be out into the world. But if you asked me about myself? I wouldn't be able to tell you. A common question in dating is "Well, what are you into? What do you like to do? What are you interested in?" And that was always a question I could never answer. Because I wasn't answering as me. I didn't -know- what I should like or shouldn't like. I took on characteristics from people around me, but nothing was my own. Nowadays, I could write a book on everything I like and things that I'm interested and into, lol. But back then it was an impossible question. How do you tell people what your interests are if you're not you?
There were many times I tried to look inside, and there was just nothing there. It was terrifying. I'm glad I finally got out of that, but holy crap did this movie hit that part of my past hard.
Omg, I'm also trans and I feel you so hard. When I was watching the movie I mostly felt frustrated that it wasn't what I thought it would be and that it was pretty confusing at times. I'm so used to anything related to trans people being taboo in Hollywood, especially since I was watching this movie on the same streaming service that also proudly hosts Joanne's fantasy films.
thank you this is exactly how i feel right now
as a trans person, i feel the same as you about the “i think i like tv shows” line. through my own experiences, getting into relationships pre-transition is scary and unsatisfying because you can’t be yourself, you’re pretending, i guess, to be someone else.
i think the scene with owen and their manager as they eat ties into this, where he asks if owen would want to hook up with the woman he was with. owen can’t even answer because, at least in my opinion, sexuality is a very uncomfortable topic. you don’t want to engage in sexuality because your body isn’t yours, isn’t what it should be.
I went alone to an almost full showing. There was a stunned silence when the movie ended. Like everyone stayed in their seats to watch the credits, as if it were a marvel movie, as if the dyphoria of Owen were mutated into a dissatisfaction with the arc of the story, and punching the audience in the gut. Realizing it’s over, and still being in denial.
Same here - I'm so used to the sounds of bags or something as people gather to leave but, silence.
I couldn't move from my seat for a good 2 minutes - It felt like I'd held my breath for the whole runtime and couldn't remember how to open my lungs.
Same here I couldn’t believe it ended the way it did, I watched through the credits to see whether Owen would ever realize herself
I thought it was a false ending because it was like the credits for the show in the film
i also want to point out that owen’s asthma is a metaphor and also the explanation the evil moon man gives for her LITERALLY running out of oxygen because she’s buried underground and it gets worse as she ages because she’s running out of time to escape before she dies in the pink opaque world
as someone who embraced their identity like Maddy, the true terror of this film for me was the glimpse into the “bad end” that my life could have been that Owen forced me to look at. Owen as a character was such a terrifying thing to witness, because i was *almost* her. if it hadn’t been for my ex at the time encouraging me to be myself at 17, if i didn’t have such warmth and acceptance right that second, i would have taken my identity to the grave. Owen was a very difficult look into what that could have been like, and affirmed for me more than anything that i made the right choice. this film somehow made me *more* transgender than before i watched it lmaom
i felt this way while watching, but i only came out and left home and became myself in my 20s. and even now that i’m out and transitioning, i feel like owen often, since the desire to stay safe and please others is relevant often in the average human lifespan. even so, i think opportunities to change keep coming forever, every time staying the same feels unbearable, until you die. somehow it’s both hopeful and terrifying. if i took this to my grave, i still would have been myself deep down even as they buried me in the wrong clothes.
Pretty sure that Owen didn't rat out Maddie. She just wanted an excuse not to go and meet her, so she asks the mother of the boy who she's been pretending to spend time with (when she's really hanging out with Maddie) to rat Owen out to her own parents. Then she'll be grounded and have a reason not to go.
This is exactly what I thought. She wasn't ratting her out. She was deeply and utterly terrified. Her acting wasn't tattletaleing, she was hyperventilating and shaking and incredibly afraid. It reminded me of my worst anxiety attacks. I just wanted to hug her
@@lorelig I don't even think she mentioned Maddie. She just said that she'd been lying about where she was.
at some points, the cc interpreted "the pink opaque" as "the pinko pig". which i enjoyed and thought id share.
Lmaooo
I am a trans man mostly living a lie and this movie plus your beautiful analysis has helped me realize that.
I settle for being referred to by my chosen name when my voice disgusts me.
I settle for masc clothing, sports bras and binders when I despise the way my chest looks.
I settle for people correcting themselves, never calling them out about misgendering as I don't wanna be seen as disruptive.
You are right. I don't have time to wait for my mom to use my preferred name or for my country to be safer. I have to make the radical change myself and hope those around me are willing to deal.
I have time and I need to live it
Wow - I am in the exact same situation. Sending you so much love. You’re right; We still have time. We *have* to live.
@@bogscholar691 Thank you so much, both you and OP. Your comments made me cry. Yeah, we have to live :") We owe this much to ourselves
I'm 17 and I just graduated high school three months ago. Last week I watched I saw the Tv glow. This week, I got a job delivering mail in the city I grew up in and I may have acquired a small apartment there as well. I signed up for a theatre class and I'm looking into starting T. I'm gonna use MY name when I get there. I'm looking into stick 'n poke so I can get 'there is still time' permanently on MY body.
I'm getting out of this town, you know that?
Wishing you the best beautiful soul!!
this is so real as a trans 17 year old close to graduating. i cant wait to leave this tiny town and go anywhere else. i wish you so much luck
Thank you! I got the apartment! I'm moving out in a month and I've started the job and it's nice! I wish you so much luck as well. Were gonna make it.
looking inside the static of owen’s chest I saw black and white re runs. maddy said the channel that showed the pink opaque, after it was cancelled, showed black and white re runs of older shows. that made me think that there’s still time for owen too. like the channel is still on, just waiting for the pink opaque to come back.
Hey. I’m saying this as a trans woman who’s been infuriated by a lot of discourse around the movie. Thank you.
I love the fact you got it. You got it and tried to understand it in a way many reviews haven’t.
Also. RE the asexuality thing. I agree with you. My own sexuality is still on the gray spectrum but having transitioned I’m more comfortable with all that stuff because it’s not through a male lens. Asexuality doesn’t feel to me like what Owen says. Owen connects it to a feeling that something is missing in a way that is wrong as if it has been removed. Asexuality doesn’t really feel wrong. It’s more just that you were born without it. That there was nothing to remove.
Owen kinda is how i was. I had that same denial. That same nagging thing going on making my life just have no light. Fitting into a mould that slices parts off you as you try to fit it.
I also see owen as autism coded. She struggles with social cues and eye contact. She also has a monotone affect that all hint at autism.
The thing that gets me is that last act. Owen tries to do the “fitter, happier” thing (and i also will not reference Radiohead again) and talks about her family. The thing that gets me is the fake smile as she says it. Then the immediate loss of that smile. I was that. Then i saw the ending with owen cutting herself open as owen knowing. Knowing but cannot externalize it. Then goes right back to hiding it. It left me shaken at the end. The horror for me was that i saw what would have happened to me if i never came out.
It’s also interesting to be that you only really see Owen smile twice in the movie. The first time being the time she tries on the dress. And i know that smile. I had that smile. You know it’s wrong. You know if your parents or society saw you, You were finished. And yet you smile. And yet it feels right and you know deep down that the dress isn’t wrong. You wearing it isn’t wrong. It’s all the other stuff. And suddenly you’re trans lol.
The other time of course is the end where she sees the TV glow in her chest.
Fully agree with the autism coded, and those fucking guys going "look me in the eyes" made me want to scream.
I'm really glad I could articulate how I felt about the movie in a way that resonated, mission accomplished:) We are legion, thank you for watching!
And how Owen's voice sounds like a womans voice that has been pitch shifted lower, not like a guys voice.
@@natashafordyce925 nah that’s just her trying to sound higher. Very common too.
Even though this film is mostly about the trans experience, I think this film can relate to anyone hiding a part of themselves. It can reach a lot of audiences, in a different profound way. I know being neurodivergent this meant something to me and about how I "mask" to try to fit in with society. But literally I am dying inside because I feel I cannot be my "true" self. So yeah, a deep movie overall.
Can say as an Autistic trans person, this movie hit me way harder in the Autism than in the trans, if that makes sense. If society looks at you like you’re wrong, this movie will probably scream it at you
i think it’s lovely that you found that way to relate. owen and maddie both reminded me a lot of many neurodivergent friends i’ve had.
aint no way my man Alex the fucking G is working on movies now
He actually worked with Jane on her last project too:)
hes done a couple now i absolutely DIE for them
hearing the director talk about their child/teenage-hood and how they constantly used media as an escape i just felt so seen by the director and their film in a way i haven’t ever felt with a movie before
i personally am aroace and trans, but i don't see owen as asexual. everyone has a different experience with their identities and being transgender, but i think something that quite a few trans people experience is not really being able to engage in romantic or sexual activities due to dysphoria, even if they do want to. i think both ways of interpreting that scene are great though!
also, can confirm, not transitioning cracks your lips! my lips were always cracked and chapped but then i transitioned.
Glad to know I'm not fully off the mark then, hell yeah
yeah i'm an an aspec trans person as well and i completely agree with you on this. if im being honest i didn't even make the asexual connection until i saw people talking about it online
I'm not ace myself, but as a transfemme who thoroughly engaged in romantic/sexual activities before starting to transition recently, I still second this.
Nevertheless, while being a relevant aspect of her character to question, whether Owen is ace or not isn't that important at the end of the day - because the movie is moreso highlighting how she hasn't even had the space to explore this aspect of herself. Of course there's still people who ultimately find out they're ace before finding out they're trans, but my point still stands.~
While I first interpreted Owen as ace-coded on my first watch before coming to understand the trans subtext as the movie went on, I do like seeing her as allosexual simply because it aligns with some of my experiences rediscovering romance and sex as I transition - but I find both interpretations to be equally valid.
This was me. I couldn't be honest about my sexuality because it felt like it determined my gender. I was labeled a lesbian because heteronormative beauty standards. But if I was a lesbian, that meant I was a woman. And that was unacceptable. So I just couldn't... connect with my attraction to women because it challenged my gender in my head. This doesn't make logical sense but that was my brain at the time. Gender identity can impact everything.
Can confirm that your theory on dysphoria making you avoid even considering your sexuality is 100% a thing. I considered myself ace until I got on T and things clicked when I could interface with my body
yep i’m a trans man but before i came to terms that i am trans i struggled so incredibly hard with my sexuality so much
"Imagine compromising everything just because other people were a little uncomfortable"
This movie made me question my gender and that line is what I've been feeling since I watched this movie
I'm so happy I got to see this movie in theaters during priDE MONth
You get it
As far as the “burry yourself alive” part
Before my egg cracked for a year depression was completely debilitating and I nearly unalived myself about it 3 weeks after that night my egg fully cracked.
I think the idea of “burying yourself alive” is speaking on the ego death trans people have before it all finally reaches the surface. For a year I felt I was dying a very slow death and once it hit the breaking point only then did my ego I wouldn’t say completely die but fragmented from what no longer served it enough for my new conscious awareness of being trans was able to begin filling the gaps. That being said, part of the trans experience if you are unaware of even being trans is ego death
The utter helplessness of this movie's ending- even after that brief glimpse of hope- had hit way too close to home, albeit in a different way than Owen's experience. I may not be trans, but I do struggle with major depression, general anxiety and social anxiety. And I personally identify as queer myself. The sort of emptiness Owen had experienced throughout her story- how The Pink Opaque was her way to escape and feel free- really resonated with me.
I felt heartbroken and enraged on her behalf by the end, and especially once Maddy returned to try and help her again. I felt the weight of that ending, the message that "There is still time", and how I'm still thinking about it weeks later. For me personally, I Saw The TV Glow is one of the best movies I've seen this year. Thank you so much for making this video. I sincerely appreciate your insight and dissection on this. 💙
The phrase in the sidewalk is what sticks out to me the most about this movie.
There is still time.
It’s never too late to start transitioning. I really love this movie. It’s so haunting and it is able to very viscerally convey the uncomfortability that is being disphoric.
As someone who is non binary and autistic and struggles with explaining how I feel. This movie replicated my feelings perfectly. I also love Justice Smith and Phoebe Bridgers, and Buffy the vampire Slayer- so I just loved the movie more than I can imagine to say.
I bawled my eyes out, because I know so many people that are so afraid to be themselves that they're rather live in pain (including me).
I also want to be a filmmaker, so I must rewatch a couple times to take notes.
(Ill be editing when I finished the video)
Bro the kids show rant is basically me. I only watched MLP and Gravity Falls after I was 18. Cartoons are my favorite to this day!
What's your favorite one?
@danielprofeta Out of all the cartoons I watch probably Invader Zim
something that i had noticed near the end was while owen was growing older, the people that he worked with at the theater that came to the arcade place don’t even look like they aged, compared to how old owen looks in the beginning.
I’m SO happy to see more stuff on I Saw The TV Glow!!?!?? I’m just a random transgender 14 year old but I’ve experienced almost nothing but odd or just straight up disgusting comments towards my identity for the 3 years I’ve identified this way, and everytime I see any content recognizing trans people in a actually positive and accurate way I get SO happy‼️‼️
I have been rewatching I Saw The TV Glow over and over and I don’t think it’ll ever get old.
Hey, 19 year old trans guy here. Came out at your age and it was the most painful experience of my life (saying this as someone who’s not had it easy). My parents sent me to conversion therapy for a year, almost kicked me out-but they’ve come around. If yours don’t? Best thing about being an adult is you get to choose who to be around.
Yes it’s horrible. Humiliating. I don’t know if I’d have the strength to do it again, but I’m so grateful I did. It’s honestly crazy to look in the mirror and see myself these days.
My life is not perfect. It finally feels like mine though. Stay strong my friend!
@@river9641 14 year old trans guy. im really glad you said this. cause life is scary lol and sometimes i'm scared nothing will work out.
omg fellow random transgender 14 year old
im 21 but it makes me so happy that all of you guys are so young and coming out already.
What I took away from the arcade that Owen works in after the theatre is that the neon lights, and dark shadows, and the references to characters/plot from the Pink Opaque was (aside from the narrative significance about Owen finally realizing that she’s suffocating) a nod to trying to recapture/recreate what was fun, magical, good about the past, but because it’s impossible to actually recreate the past (especially through the lens of nostalgia), the result is two dimensional and feels soulless.
The arcade technically has all the key ingredients (the colours, the lighting, the props, etc) but because it’s not real, it’s an attempt to synthesize reality, it ends up evoking an almost uncanny valley feeling that’s only heightened by everyone just stopping like npcs when Owen starts screaming.
Also, hearing her wheezing in the last scene of the movie made me realize that yes, her difficulty breathing is accelerating because she’s suffocating in real life, in the grave. But also, her asthma was introduced pretty pointedly near the very beginning by her mother maybe as another distraction to keep her from suspecting that what she’s experiencing might not be reality. Notice that we never hear her wheeze or see her use her inhaler while she’s being exposed to relief and an alternate path by Maddie, but once Owen dives head first into denial (and she chooses not to dig herself up, prolonging her burial), her asthma is shown to get increasingly worse, until she’s unable to breathe and starts screaming because a) she’s choking on luna juice and dirt, and b) she’s suffocating on the lie she’s been trying to protect herself with
So when I first watched the film, I had heard it was "a trans film" beforehand. As soon as Fred Durst said "Isn't that a show for girls?" I immediately said "Oh.......fuck." Because it unlocked a deep panic I hadn't felt since I was a child. I could feel Frank judging *me* and not Owen. I could've loved that show. I could've been Owen...
...I *was* Owen...
Needless to say, this film emotionally destroyed me, even though I've been out for over 3 and a half years.
Although the ending can be seen as a depressing downer, I think it is actually very purposeful and positive in the message it is trying to convey. The film itself mirrors the sentiment I see a lot in the trans community of people thinking "it's too late for me to transition". But what it leaves the audience with is the feeling that you want to scream through the screen at Owen/Tara that she still has time! She can still escape! Had the plot been resolved one way or the other, it wouldn't inspire the same reaction. That reaction is what the film wants viewers to apply to themselves. To wake up from the nightmare and make the change - because there is still time!`
Just like tv shows leave people on cliffhangers at the end of a season, we know that no matter what - the writers can come up with a way for the characters to get out of whatever jam they are in. There is tension, but there is also the knowledge that it's going to be okay, as long as we keep moving forward. The film itself IS the season finale of season 5; we even hear Owen/Tara narrating to the camera like it's an episode. Meta as it may be, in the world of the film it makes sense that we are watching an episode of The Pink Opaque. Even if the show gets "cancelled" we, the audience, can fill in the blank that the characters can still make it out of this situation, no matter how dire it seems. And so can you - dear viewer: you can make it too.
this was how i saw the ending too. it was like a callback to the earlier scene in the movie where she talked about being scared to open herself up. in the end, she DOES. and there's something beautiful there. she's in there. as painful and sad as the ending of this movie is, at the same time, i agree that's 100% the feeling it's trying to invoke. it's NOT too late. as long as you're alive, there IS still time! it's true for everyone. sort of painful but also inspirational lol
What's wild for me just now is that I'm 47 years old and thus just a little bit older than the characters, which is the identical situation as when the Buffy tv series started irl, and so it ends up feeling like it's speaking for me even as I'm sitting here being all too "mature" for it.
Also I agree, right now is all we have. ♥
I only got to see the film yesterday with my best friend and when the credits came up I refused to leave until it was truly over cause I just didn't want to believe thats how Owen/Isabel's story ends. In a way I think it was the perfect ending because I hate it so much but also during the credits we both turned to each other and both completely understood the film. one of the most viseral experiences I've ever had watching anything
Daniel never EVER refrain from being a dork. Especially where the Eraserhead Baby is concerned. Ive been obsessed with that little freak since 1982. I graduated high school in 1985 and lived my youth before screens. I have mixed feelings about that....I truly envy the artistic REACH this generation has at the tip of their fingertips, but I do miss the "radio silence" and ability to opt out of 24/7 contactability.
I was born in Romania in the 15th century. Trust me, the being out of contact thing wasn't all it's cracked up to be, especially when you're a night owl like me.
@Yosef1952 How hard is it to retain memories over a span of centuries? Does it all blur together at some point? Are some things unforgettable or does it time erode all memories? Ive only been a "night owl" for a few short decades so it is a great opportunity to speak to an Elder
@@daniellewillis2767 Well, there have been so many wonderful necks. They do all sort of blend together. And that feeling of satisfaction after you've drained someone...priceless!
My gf and I keep photoshopping the eraserhead baby onto a new baby on her family's side, it's hilarious.
@Yosef1952 Who remembers food, Joseph? I'm talking about history and technology changing around you. I've only been in the club since 87 and already I notice a clear line of demarcation between life before and after not the Internet, but smartphones...
It dawned on me that Owen could've meant her coworkers when she said she had a family
Even though we don’t see her family, I doubt that
Someone mentioned the new tv
@finnsimpson5253 I say "could've" just because a lot of jobs promote the idea of family amongst coworkers. She had been working at the arcade all that time, even that one guy she walked in on still worked there. Her choice to stay stuck in one place makes it hard to believe she found a partner and had children.
This is a really interesting and profoundly sad theory.
@@davespriteri think either way it’s sad. One is Owen living a lie of a life while they silently suffer and the other is a lonely one where the only “relationships” he has is with coworkers
honestly i think just the way its paced is my favorite part of it its just so... weird it feels like it doesnt start, like its entirely setup to those last few scenes
like a dream!!!!!!!
A key bit of dialogue that I missed on my first viewing, is during the final scene when Owen is leaving the family center, in one apology he says that he is taking a new medicine. I chose to read this, possibly, as starting hormones… I certainly know that when I started hormones there were a few freak outs as I struggled to unbury a true self.
You might be onto something.
I read that the original ending was slightly longer and had Owen walking faster and faster until they exited through the doorway into a bright light.
I hope that’s the case anyway. For Owen’s sake 😢
I was there staring at the 'Happy Birthday' cake shot at 34:20 wondering why they put 'Happy' in front of 'Birthday' like that and if the 'H RT' part was intentional. I'm *probably* reaching but it would be cool
@@meabhmurphy9090 I don't think you are reaching. It is abundantly clear to me that this movie is blatant but not obvious. Cis people don't see the signs, but literally I rewatched the scene you mentioned and the frame is such that the letters in Happy Birthday that aren't HRT are blocked by balloon strings or crowd. Schoenbrun and their crew are using filmic language to convey that transition is the only non-lethal way out of this pit Owen finds himself in. ("There is still time.")
so excited to watch this, even tho it's no longer priDE MONth
If people read the description this comment section is gonna be so flipping funny
Your interpretation of Owen's lack of sexual interest is accurate. I had great difficulty assessing my own sexual interest until after i transitioned. Not only was my self identity crucial to my sexual identity, but having the correct hormones made a massive difference. Transitioning is like second puberty and its wonderful to have a pubescent sexual awakening that's affirming and aligned rather than confusing and frightening.
Saw this movie last week with my group of friends and have been waiting for people to make videos about it thank you for this
I'm surprised there aren't more videos about it yet, but I guess most people just wait for streaming now. Idk, glad I was able to be one of the first to make a long form essay though:) W for the Legion.
to me, her apologies felt like habit rather than repression. she's just so used to it-- you scrape yourself as you heal sometimes, yknoww?
in regards to owen's sexuality: I'm nonbinary, and before I realised this I identified as sexual for years. It felt impossible to imagine myself in a romantic or sexual situation, and in time I realised that's because the 'myself' I was imagining wasn't authentic. The more I became sure of my nonbinary identity, the more I was able to see myself with a partner.
As such, Owen explaining this inability to even think of relationships struck a chord for me. That was me, for ages. This isn't to say that Owen is for sure not asexual, but more that Owen can't know until gaining a complete sense of self to imagine with.
I know I really need to see this film when even an analysis of it makes me feel a visceral despair. I often find myself slipping into quiet complacency like Owen whenever I'm around my family, or whenever I have to think about starting the grueling task of transitioning through the NHS (which will only get harder as the UK rapidly slips into extremism and transphobia). But as this film says, "There's still time", and regardless of what I do that time will pass anyway. It's better for me to become who I am later than I wanted to, than to just exist in that horrid state of not-living until I don't even have the choice anymore.
The hardest part will be giving up on trying to get my family to understand. They don't want to. I need to accept that or I'm going to be coming out to them again and again forever; never being allowed to follow through because I feel that I can't take the next step without their permission, their acceptance. It will be the end of me before I even begin.
I'll at least be far from them soon as I start university. It will be scary to add transition to the list of all the other new challenges I'll have to deal with, but I honestly don't care anymore. I don't care if I get heart disease, or go bald, or end up looking like a neckbeard, or any of the scary things I've been told about T. Continuing the way I am now is a thousand times worse than any of it, the pain is just so constant that it's easy to trick myself into thinking that it's not really there. I'm not going to ignore it anymore, I'm going to dig myself out of this comfortable grave.
Please wait until you’re older. Your brain is not fully developed until you’re 25 years old.
@@elkeclark5548 You don't even know how old I am dude
@@bobbitworm8184 since you’re not yet at university I assume you’re not yet 25
@elkeclark5548 Are you American? In the UK you can go to university as a senior student, which I am.
But besides, that little factoid of "Your brain only fully develops at 25" is incorrect. It was popularised by a couples' therapist, and has no basis in neuroscientific findings. Perhaps you should start researching the pop-psychology "facts" you hear on the Internet, and stop pretending you know what's best for strangers.
I'm so sorry that that asshole was the only person who responded to you 😥 and I'm more sorry for what you have to deal with irl. I'm so excited that you'll be getting out and going to university soon though, and I really hope you're able to find a good group of queer people to hang out with there!! Good luck with transitioning, I'm so proud of you for accepting yourself ♥️♥️
I love your analysis of the bleacher scene where Owen says she likes tv shows and how it doesn’t necessarily mean that she’s asexual. Also, NEVER APOLOGIZE (Maddy reference⁉️) for being a dork. It’s cool to see a fellow dork that’s as obsessed with this movie as I am lol
thank you for including that New Yorker quote from Jane Schoenbrun near the end. as a trans person who already realized, already came out to all her family, already started steps to transition years ago, one of the things that disturbed me when i saw the movie was how relateable it felt to the life ive been living. how, even though ive nominally accepted myself and started "living authentically" it still feels like im there with owen, stagnating and slowly dying. the film made me realize just how much living with my parents as a young adult has been really suffocating to my sense of self-actualization and that i needed to change that. unfortunately, several months later i still feel just as stuck, but your video (and jane's quote) reminded me of this. thank you
Man. This movie. It was fascinating in a meta way, having that horror movie feeling of "GIRL YOU NEED TO RUN YOU'RE GOING TO DIE!!" being evoked so powerfully through nothing but the unending mundanity of an unfulfilled life. As a queer and autistic person who has always been extremely out and unmasked, it was both very sad and also vindicating to see it play out - the horror of forcing yourself into a box that doesn't fit you and was made up by other people, desperately apologizing for not fitting in, to people who could not give less of a shit about you. You have to be yourself, otherwise what's the fucking point of being alive?
I hope people really take the message to heart. There is still time.
Pssh, I was in my 40s when I watched Gravity Falls, and the friend who introduced me to it was in his 50s. We both loved it.
oh my god I went to see this movie in theaters without knowing anything about it, and it fucked me up so hard I have been waiting for someone to make a video about it, even better that your the one doing it
Welcome back to the channel, thanks for watching, super happy I could be one creator to cover this incredible film
This movie literally changed me I’ve never felt like that walking out of a theater, im not trans but the way the movie showed the horror of repressing your authentic self ugh idk so much abt it terrified me but inspired me to live my life differently
I thought the ive got a family of my own part was in reference to the new tv, that the new tv is their family
as a genderqueer person in a very not accepting family myself, this movie means a lot to me. The messages and the feelings of dysphoria and being ostracized due to your identity hits so fucking hard. I can agree with you when you say that this movie is mesmerizing visually but the moment I understood owens situation i knew that I would love this movie.
As for the sex thing. I know everyone is different and that many trans and genderqueer people enjoy sex or at the very least it doesn't bother them enough to deter them from the act. but for me personally I can very much agree with both takes. I'm asexual, and a very large reason for that is due to my assigned at birth sex. Sure sometimes gender aligns with my sex but those moments are sparce and frankly rather scarce. Any sexual acts that I would commit or even consider while in that aligned state will result in a sense of guilt, extreme dysphoria, and overall discomfort when i think about it while in a different gendered... mindset? just, it doesn't feel right. Besides that I just generally don't really enjoy sexual things and what have you so I'm asexual regardless. But during the time it took to discover this about myself I did go through a pretty harsh rollercoaster of "maybe it's more ok right now" and "nope that was a horrible horrible decision".
In conclusion. It is different for everyone. that's really important to remember. But your take on this could be a very valid perspective on the statement, since it's pretty accurate at describing my experience
I really really appreciate all the cool mfers who have been engaging with my question, I was genuinely very curious if my read was at all close, so thank you!
I just want you to know you are very correct in your theory that even the thought of sexual contact can be offputting when you’re trans but haven’t realised/accepted it yet and/or transitioned. Note, it’s definitely not everyone’s experience, but it is definitely an experience that a lot of people go through.
That being said, I think an ace reading can be equally as powerful. Owen/Isabel is obviously trans, but might also be asexual as well, and I think any interpretation of being so far in the closet that you dissociate your life away is absolutely devastating. But it’s so important to know and understand that nobody is going to “save” you from the closet. People might confront you or try to force you out, but you as an individual still has to make the decision to accept and live in your truth, and it’s a hard thing to do.
I thought he was going to say "but imagine... DRAGONS"
Perfect, so I can stay up till 5 when I need to be up at 9 for a toy convention!
Edit: so I decided to fully watch this later as I was putting my dice away in a new holder I got for my birthday and I did not expect to be crying... And I quote "I just wanted to put my dice away..."
We went to bed and woke back up around the same time, here's hoping you get a nap later
thank you so much, i got halfway through your video, got convinced so hard and watched the movie, then came back to watch the rest of your vid, and i'm so glad i did because it was definitely something that i needed to watch mostly untainted. what a fucking PHENOMENAL movie. it's hauntingly beautiful, and your commentary on it is so concise and gets across everything i was thinking ughhhhhhh!!!!!! wonderful work!!!
also, i truly don't believe this movie could have ended any other way. horror is innately tragedy.
(although i love the idea that the rain in the credits means that she made it back to the pink opaque)
After watching this movie earlier today, I knew I'd immediately want to go to a bunch of different video analyses that were approaching this film from a more educated lens than my own, pick apart its densities (very good job at that by the way, thank you) - as soon as I finished it, I knew I'd be heavily fixating on it for a while.
What I did NOT expect was for the subject of *yesterday's* fixation, Cabaret, to get referenced during the credits of this video. The Forces are contacting me and they're telling me to engage in more queer media
"Those in glass closets shouldn't throw stones" HOLY SHIT LMFAO THAT"S AMAZING
Love your videos man plssss don't explode!!!!!!! (I've had a really rough week and can confidently say seeing this in my youtube notifications made it worth it)
Oh that's awesome my friend, thank you sm for watching
I really enjoyed hearing your interpretation of the movie and how you related your own life experiences in comparison. Gravity Falls started airing when I was in my 20s and I watched every episode as they came out. Cartoons should be enjoyed by anyone regardless of age.
As a trans person who falls on the asexual spectrum, my interpretation of Owen saying they just like movies was that they hadn't been able to explore their sexual preferences at all. Their description of being hollowed out inside perfectly described a feeling I experienced all through my adolescence, even before I knew what the term "transgender" meant. It's an emptiness that comes not just from being disconnected from your body but also from blocking out your true desires and feelings. You can't allow yourself you explore who you might want to date because instinctively you know that will lead you to having to explore who you want to be. Owen might be asexual, they might be allosexual, the viewer has no way of knowing because Owen doesn't yet know.
really enjoyed watching you cover this movie!! it quickly became my favourite after 1 watch (i don’t think i can stomach another) and am glad to see someone as passionate and understanding about it as i am. as a trans man, i think your hypothesis regarding owen’s feelings on sex is highly likely! that is the message i got opposed to complete asexuality, mostly because i also (to this day, tbh) go back and forth on whether or not i fall on the asexual spectrum and struggle to comprehend my place in sex completely because it feels impossible to participate in, in a way that feels right to me. this can also extend to romantic ventures not involving sex. like, i was totally that teenager who thought to themselves “i like tv shows, not people.” thank you for sharing, i hope more people who enjoyed this film as much as people like you and i, and these other commenters, come across this video and decide to give it a watch because you touched on all of the aspects i was hoping to find in a commentary on it!
cried like a baby while watching the movie and now cried like a baby watching this video :D such a great video covering such a BRILLIANT movie............. im still haunted by the ending scene and that scene where maddie walks away while "there is still time" message shows absolutely broke me. thank you! great video
My brother and I saw it twice and we loved it. It was intense. I had been dealing with a lot of feelings and that message there is still time made me tear up.
Daniel idk about where you are but go to bed it’s 4 am
It's 4 am for me too sadly, I'm gonna cry
PLEASE do an analysis on car seat headrest (like any of their albums) since you listen to them!! Feel like you'd have a couple things to say :3
I loved this video and your breakdown, I personally came to the same conclusions as you. I had only seen it once so i didnt remember Maddie saying "never apologize" and tying that to the ending, that was a great point to bring up. Thank you for this :)
I was waiting for a long form video on this film, you explained it so beautifully yet so simply. I really hope someone who was confused on this film watches this and gets their questions answered. This film deserves to be enjoyed by everyone.
36:00 as someone whos been waiting for 6 years to medically transition this part made me sob like. oh my god jane schoenbrun what the hell!!
THANK YOU for making a video about this movie . you are one of the very few content creators that i trust to talk about this film without butchering it
no words to thank you for this video, i'll def become a patreon.
i knew the way i felt about it, (being trans myself), but i don't think i had the words to properly express them, so the way you put it here, it's just marvelous.
also you made me cry in my office, around a lot of people, so there's that lol
for real tho, thank you so much for this, Daniel
you're a real champ
i was listening to an npr interview with the creator, and i was vaguely interested but now i have to watch it
Yes, watch it it's quite good
Proud as ever to be a patron of this channel.
Greatly appreciate your support!!
Found this channel about a week ago because of your series on Jack Stauber, and I absolutely love your content!
I don't comment very often so I'm afraid my words wont make sense, but I'll try my best.
This was a wonderfully structured video, and it's my introduction to this movie. I haven't really seen much about it, (and I admit I probably won't watch it in full because I'm easily disturbed) but this was a really interesting analysis and I'm glad I got to hear about the movie from this channel. I appreciated the warnings and, I guess all in all, this was a generally comfortable video.
I think what I want to say is thank you for sharing this. This helped me realize quite a few things about myself, and I probably wouldn't have realized those things without this. There are things from the movie that I used to relate to somewhat, such as not willing to take an active part in my own life and pushing down things out of the fear my own family will reject me. But I've been doing my best to take care of my mental health, and myself in general, and I'm glad to say I think I've made a lot of progress.
[So if anyone's reading this: trust me, it does get better! It really does, even when it feels like it won't.]
I guess although I don't feel that way anymore, at least not as much as I did, it's interesting learning of a film that puts together pieces I wasn't able to put together myself a while ago.
So thank you!
I kind of started rambling so, once again, I hope my words make at least some sense.
Hope you have a great day, same goes to anyone else reading this!
What you wrote absolutely makes sense, thank you for watching and yes, to anyone watching it does indeed get better.
I didn’t have any problems with you just reading the script. Your voice and speaking pace are very nice to listen to.
this film encapsulated true horror in a way thats stuck with me ever since watching it. nothings as scary as the truth
alex g has been my favorite artist for years and i don’t know how i missed the lyrics to the same and im so glad you made me think about it more in depth. i think about his lyrics so much
I would like to chime in on that one line about Owen's insides feeling dug out and empty when she tries to think about herself in a sexual context: yes, that very much resonated with me as a binary trans person who experiences a lot of dysphoria. I may not be transfem, but similarly I really struggle to engage with sexuality through my own body (even just in the context of thoughts) for dysphoria reasons, so the line hit really hard for me for that reason. Because trying to think about myself in that context as I am now feels so wrong and uncomfortable that I might as well have been shovelled empty. I'm sure it could also have been relatable from an asexual perspective but that's how I read it. That baseline dissociation that a lot of trans people who can't transition use to survive can feel its absolute thinnest when one tries to think of oneself as a sexual being: because that's a place where that physical irreconcilability is at its most manifest
"lets talk about sex....i know, gross" my aroace said YES out loud lmao
I think that your hypothesis might be right, owen might not wanna have sex to begin with not bc of being ace but bc of their socially constructed and assigned sexual partner (limited to only female). I like these kind of videos, it reminds me of being in AP literature and breaking down pages of descriptive situations with no dialogue and still being able to figure out what exactly is happening and the true meaning behind it is. I remember loving movie break downs when I got into a film course, it was like literature analysis but in a different tone. "Get Out" was the first movie I saw where I paused and pointed at the screen as I realized the role colors play, noise plays, and diction plays. LOVE movie breakdowns. Can't wait for more of these!! (saw gravity falls as a kid growing up and rewtached it twice now as an adult, it makes me appreciate it even more)
as an ace and trans person, i think owen's line could be taken as either way? i think it would be dysphoria inducing because of being seen as not who she really is both physically and as a person (i know i couldn't picture myself with someone or even take the time to imagine it because i couldn't imagine myself in the first place) but also after i did transition, i still felt the same and that my lack of attraction went beyond my discomfort. I think dysphoria could hinder sexual attraction, but not always romantic. telling when someone is attractive is a separate concept from wanting to be in a relationship with them. i really do think this could be taken any way, but in the context of the movie and how each character has their own identities being addressed, idk if being ace and trans would be something that the filmmaker would deliberately choose to do (or maybe i'm just cynical and bitter about ace under representation lol)
you know when I was watching this movie the thing I walked away with is almost that it was a bit heavy handed in the trans allegory. I was like "I feel almost like the trans allegory was jackhammered in"
then I saw the fucking reviews and now I was like WTF DOES ANYONE HAVE MEDIA LITERACY ANYMORE.
Yeah it's so insanely unsubtle that you have to either actively be trying to not notice it or have literally never listened to a trans person in your your entire life. I think the second is true for a lot of those losers.
Not sure if anyone else has commented this but the scene where Owen says she has her own family i believe she’s talking about the tv. As in the tv is her family. Beautiful analysis!
When I watched this movie, I was left breathless. I started my transition a little late in life because I was always waiting for the right time. The time to tell my family, the time at work, the time to let it all sink in. But It grew longer and longer and honestly I couldn't keep waiting for everyone around me and did it in secret. I was fired from my travel agent job because the clientel "wouldn't like it" is what I was told. Family asking me why I decided to do this and ruin my life basically. But I couldn't keep waiting. It was tearing me up inside. Also, with this movie I felt an actual relation to how much the two loved the Pink Opaque. Growing up I loved Digimon. I'm pretty sure that was my transawakening as I would Constantly tell people to call me by "matt" one of the characters in the first season. I related with his character, and how dark and deep Digimon was to me. Trying to watch it now there's so much cringe within it, so much missing from the american dub that I watched, but it still meant something to me. My whole life I wanted to get the crest of friendship (and kindness but mostly friendship) Tattoo'd onto the inner of my forearm. I carried around their crests on and off throughout my life as well around my neck or as a keychain. To remind myself that I am not a bad person like I think I am. I am a good friend, even if I make mistakes, and with the crest of kindness to always be kind. I wanted them close because that's what I held so dear to myself growing up. I made friends easily but, I moved a lot (military brat as well) so every few years I had to make new friends. But I remember when Digimon felt so real to me it was a hard escape from reality. I had maybe one person at a time in my life each time I knew that knew how much and how real it felt to me. Just like their escape and findings within the Pink Opaque. They discovered themselves. By the end of the movie I grew so scared. That I would end up working a job I hated, always apologizing to others for me just being me. For being surrounded by people who wouldn't understand me and i'd continue to have to mask day in and day out. Then I would just be nothing. I lived a life I hated. Luckily I'm finally finding my way, even though I am turning 32, and it took a lot of trial and error. I felt relief because I watched it with my partner who loves me for all my little quirks and everything and I am actually Traveling across the country to live with them finally, right as I type this comment. My life is finally feeling like my own. But I wont forget my escapes. This movie was so much more to me than just queer allegory, literal meaning with the escapism with tv shows and that one friends that just gets it and helps you but then you lose them. I hope this made sense if anyone is reading it.
I saw this movie as a pre-release and was watching it under vaguely stressed circumstances so when I left the theaters I really didn't understand what was going on. I felt the queer aspect of the film in a deeply almost instinctual level but I hadn't really processed the movie so I've been wanting to see it again to let everything sort of wash over me again. Your analysis was super thorough and brought to light all the moments I didn't really process the first time around. And honestly, it hurt as well. The message this movie brings is so close to the situation that I'm living and the terrifying thought of "You'll be like this forever. You'll refuse yourself what you want for the sake of others who don't really care" absolutely guts me. Fantastic video!
I love this film so much. I like to think that she comes out one day. Re the line about liking tv shows, I agree that she's dysphoric, not ace. I dont think she'll know who she likes or doesnt like until she's being herself.
Please never stop making videos, and thank you for understanding the movie
AHHHH thank you the scene with phoebe was like a jumpscare to me but the lynchian vibes were INSANE
the money machine whatever thing gave me so much hope for a moment, because it looks like it'd be representing a coffin/being buried as it's sideways like it's depicted elsewhere. i was like "oh boy! finally! she's gonna do it!" and i was INSTANTLY punched in the gut
Ah finally, you're back on my youtube homepage! Glad you're back
Here's Daniel again! Yes!!!
Hiiii
OMG what a great birthday gift from Mr. Profeta himself! I want to watch this movie but I think I'll get too freaked out by it. Also happy priDE MONth.
Happy birth day!!
the gravity falls screenshot as a source for bridgette lundy paine being nonbinary was really funny
The fact that I watched both I Saw the TV Glow AND The Society of the Blind Eye for the first time today is such a hysterical coincidence. Anyway I'm obsessed with this movie now so thank you for the video.