How to overcome social anxiety and shyness
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- Опубликовано: 13 окт 2024
- Learn to take gradual steps to overcome your anxiety. Barbara Lester, Licensed Clinical Social Worker, outlines the basic principles for overcoming social anxiety. When combating worry and anxiety, the task at hand is to do the thing you fear until you learn that it is not dangerous after all. Of course, this only applies to situations that are not truly dangerous, but only feel risky to the person with anxiety. Help yourself overcome your fears and take gradual steps to increase your social engagement, remembering that FEAR = False Evidence Appearing Real. Those with social anxiety will need to take small steps that feel in the "work zone" rather than steps so large that they lead to panic.
Barbara's smartphone app for anxiety is available on:
Google Play: goo.gl/8liCQ
Amazon App Store: goo.gl/HLDoA
iTunes App Store: goo.gl/Wcq8j
I suffered social anxiety myself for years. I practiced for hours and eventually learned how to manage anxiety. You can only overcome sa by exposing yourself to the feelings. The more you reward yourself the more your psychology will change or your perception. I now coach people who suffer social anxiety.
I have an anxiety to remove my mask in public please help me
i have anxiety to talk
As someone who goes through social anxiety, I would always worry about how my voice sounds sometimes so I just record myself talking. It’s kind of weird but it helps the stress and makes me feel less insecure.
Thnks for the tip
Great video, I have to say that parties are my worst fear. I'm a 21 year old male and I've never actually been to a party, although I have been to family gathering parties and even that is scary for me so I can't imagine how I would be like in a party with people I don't know. I'm pretty sure I would start shaking to the point where I look miserable, I'm also paranoid too as I always think people are staring at me and it really feels like they are. I'm trying to get over this.
I thought I was the only one I’m 22 years old and I have the same fears. But slowly I’m starting to learn to just have fun within myself and then go out and not care how others think about my dance moves ☺️😂😃 also try going out by yourself and planning a little date for yourself. It helps you understand yourself better and pick what you like
@@ojsipsome7 Doesn't really sound like you actually have social anxiety.
Thank you so much! My parents force me to play basketball but I never want to play it at all. They get mad when I do bad in a game and then they force me to practice when my annoying neighbors always come out to see me. Your amazing. God bless you and your family.
Thanks for watching:) Going to college creates good opportunities for exposure - such as trying to smile at classmates, or saying hi, or asking how they are. Anything small steps that you would normal feel nervous to do, to try doing in small doses and keep practicing again and again it until it get easier over time as an alternative to avoiding. Best wishes!
thank you, still helping people 9 years later👍
I know a lot of my social anxiety is due to my traumatic childhood and verbal abuse that I endured for years when I was a younger adult. I use to get ridiculed and put down a lot by one person and it’s been 10 years and I still can’t let go of the words still ringing in my head. It hurts so bad but i pray hard and I feel like one day I will overcome this and be my best self.
You will! We both will overcome. Praying for you my dear
I can definitely understand, but I encourage you to find other ways to relax that don't have the negative effects that alcohol can have - drinking alone can be a sign of a problem. Maybe a relaxation program that you do, or a pep talk with a friend, or some meditation???
Thanks for watching. A lot of my clients find that others misinterpret their quietness as disinterest or rudeness, and we work on what would be helpful to say to that question, such as something like acknowledging they have anxiety and telling the questioner not to take it personally.
Thanks Barbara, I think you explained this all quite well.
The only thing that I seem to struggle with is the "False Evidence Appearing Real" thing I guess..and I struggle with the idea that fear in social situations is unfounded - from what I understand social pain is treated much the same as regular pain in the brain, and being rejected or ostracized by people you care about can be as traumatic as a fall from great height.
I guess it's not always likely, but the the danger is real to me.
Absolutely - there are many important components. This is just one of the basic concepts involved in overcoming anxiety.
I'm 13 and I have a lot of social anxiety I swear I have trouble speaking up or asking questions i have trouble asking other people to move i hate talking to people even my own friends I have only very few friends like about 5-8 and but I'm not really close with them because I bottle everything up. I don't even like to share things with my family about what goes on with my life. My best friend ( I knew her since I was 4) doesn't live close to me anymore and we kinda grew apart. I even quit going to public school because I can't stand being in class with people who I barely know and I was way to shy to tell anyone I only told like 4 of my friends. Online school is really hard for me I get distracted easily I constantly want to be on my phone and I can't seem to focus on school so I asked my parents to take me back to regular school (not the same school I was attending before) and so now I'm going back to school and I've been watching videos like this all week and I just wanted to say that these are really great tips and I hope they work out for me when I go back to school.
I don't find the repeated exposure to help, personally. For example I walk to work every day and always have that typical feeling of walking funny or that people are looking at me. I'm not afraid that something will happen to me, it's just the constant feeling of unease that frustrates me.
Instead of a nice relaxing walk it's just a taught experience.
Parties I avoid because I don't enjoy them, I don't like the shallow interaction of small talk and alcohol, just me. Don't feel obliged. :)
Good advice thank you, I suffered my first attack last year, scared the hell out of me, could not breathe and my heart was exploding through my chest, this was triggered by an irate phone call at work, I have took these type of calls a million times before without issue,I normally enjoy dealing with angry customers but something happened on that call that created the attack, I was going through a lot of unrelated stress at the time in my private life, can this also be a cause or is it always fear of the thing that triggered the attack at the time?
Hi Tara - Glad you are trying to figure things out! :) I can't give private advice via messages, but I encourage you to discuss your concerns with someone, such as a parent, your doctor, a teacher or a school counselor. There is a lot of help available for those with social anxiety. Best wishes!!
That's true to a certain extent. In some situations it would be very difficult to leave early, or you would miss important things if you left. For students in elementary or secondary school, a 504 or IEP can be set up for anxiety that might allow a student to leave a class early if needed due to anxiety, or when they leave the class early to get to their next class, so they don't have to be in the crowded hallways to get to where they are going. Some accommodations can even be made at college.
I've been investigating reducing shyness quickly and found a fantastic resource at Seans Shy Program (check it out on google)
I'm trying. But I don't really know what attitude I should be trying to approach these situations; I mean specifically. Thanks for uploading anyways.
I can actually handle strangers most of the time, but I can't have friends. The moment I decide I want a person to like me I doom myself from that ever happening, I get way too nervous about acting the wrong way around them. Its actually to the point where I can hardly ever find the words to speak at all.
Thanks for the comment - this is a helpful observation!!
I was bullied most of my schooling life even girls laughed and called me names and once I left school I had no social skills I'm an introvert and shy and I've been trying to meet girls as I desire to someday be married but I'm so shy and always think what are they going to think or say about me.
Thank you so much for answering. I'll try that. Thank you and God bless you.
Look up ☝️☝️that handle, she’s got the best tips and stuffs for microdosing shrooms, psych meds, dmt trips, psilocybin and ships too💯
I've had social anxiety for as long as i can remember and it has caused me to develop a physically painful chronic syndrome. Anyways I am recovering and that challenge you proposed to engage in a social interaction that im foolishly perceiving as scary will be added to my self-treatment, thankyou.
yes - I agree!! Meditation is a wonderful resource.
Very helpful .
Thank you.
Great video! what can i do if i turn red whenever i talk in big groups? i turn red even when i order at restaurants. i feel like for some reason people are judging me... please help, thanks!
Thank u 4 this video!!
When I get nervous, everyday at work around people these are the things that can happen: I will get soo stiff I cant turn my head so i chew gum, I get twitchy sometimes, I cant make eye contact, I think everyone is looking right through me, my stomach literally gets sick, my hands shake, and at the worst times I had panic attacks and thought I was dead. What I've done to help fix these thoughts. I pray and memorize scripture. It gives me peace knowing God is my only judge and he loves me. ; ))
Absolutely, I love this, We worry too much, We need sometimes to close the noises of the world,and reading the Bible is a great help n escape...of all the noise👏
Thanks :), I think just being more generally optimistic and confident about things would help me a ton. hehe I just have to figure out how to do that.
I bottle everything up. I don't even like to share things with my family about what goes on with my life. My best friend ( I knew her since I was 4) doesn't live close to me anymore and we kinda grew apart. I even quit going to public school because I can't stand being in class with people who I barely know and I was way to shy to tell anyone I only told like 4 of my friends. Online school is really hard for me I get distracted easily I constantly want to be on my phone.
Anxiety is always harm, one should abandon anxiety and shyness. this video give good tips for reducing these. one can very nicely remove anxiety and shyness by watching this good video.
Hi I love your video, especially your ideas good work
+amin colonel yes,it's nice one.you can know more by search "Skyarza Stop Shyness Star" on googlw,if you are interested .
I find that sometimes when you expose yourself to these social events and things don't go as you like, it just makes you feel worse and even more critical of yourself.
Yes, I can understand that would happen sometimes! I just think that overall, if you keep doing it that over time more often it will go better than you expected rather than worse! However, you also might need to work on your expectations and find ways to set small positive goals for yourself that are easy to meet.
Kim M I\'m not sure but ,if anyone else trying to find out best ways to overcome shyness try Megarno Shyness Magician ( search on google ) ? Ive heard some pretty good things about it and my co-worker got great results with it.
Kim M Your strategies in the video are just amazing. I have been checking out overcoming social anxiety and shyness book review and came across Megarno shyness magician from a Google search. The strategies you mention totally relate to it.
Kim M Hi I love this video, your ideas in the second half for how did you get over your shyness
. A product I also found helpfull for how to overcome social anxiety and shyness
is Moorack Stop Shyness Miracle - find it on google if you like
Kim M I also enjoyed the video very much. It was quite interesting. However, I also recommend Moorack stop shyness miracle which you can find by search on google with the key words tips to overcome shyness
Hello :). Thank you for your video.
With me, it comes and goes, when I build myself up I can talk or comment on something, If someone asks me a question unexpectedly I become unglued, I can barely talk, and I can't really gather my words. Also, I can talk to my husband anytime anywhere about anything, but he's the only person I'm like that with. Am I alone?
Thanks again.
Hi Chris. Thanks for the feedback. It's great that you are working on this! You could always try doing one small thing that is new for you each time you go to a family party -- family parties can be good for that because you could line up support for your plan before you go. (And I mean something quite small, like maybe asking one person a question that you wouldn't normally ask, that kind of thing......).
Thanks for watching and commenting:) I'm not sure if I will be the one to do a video on the topic you suggested though, because it's not something in which I have special expertise. Best wishes to you.
Thanks!
If you have an ipod or other MP3 player, try downloading guided relaxation tracks to listen to - you can get them on itunes. There are different types- deep breathing, or guided imagery, or progressive muscle relaxation. Get in the habit of practicing these strategies every day (bedtime is a good time), & while doing it you can try imagining that you are speaking in class, to try to desensitize yourself to it. When you do get called on in class, use the same strategies you have practiced.
thank you for making this video I am going to try same of the thing you said
+Rebecca Walters Good info the best info that ive had was by following the Seans Shy Program (just google it) - I found it the most incredible resource that I have ever tried.
You might try some relaxation strategies before you have to talk (such as breathing exercises, imagery, progressive muscle relaxation, etc) and see if they help. Also, some positive self talk to help you both stay centered and to try not to judge yourself. In addition, I think making one short humorous remark acknowledging that you turn red but laughing it off and then moving on to what you are doing next might help you and others relax about it and reduce the awkwardness you feel.
thank you
Nice vid but I hardly have any social life or friends so I'm not too sure which exposures I can do. But then I'm going college at the moment.
how can i get in contact with you. i have social anxiety and i need help!
Sorry this reply is so late, but I wanted to share that I wonder if you could work on not believing that thought (that you doom yourself forever) - maybe look for times, even if they are rare, when it hasn't been like that?? Or, could you tell some people (potential friends) that you want to work on getting to know them but you get very nervous at first and find it hard to talk. Not everyone would be helpful or supportive but some would....
gonna try this at school tomorrow, im tired of struggling with this bs
Please update app. Adobe air is not available in app market.
I do think that many social interactions are scary - so I hope the video doesn't come across that I think you or anyone else is foolish. I do think that we sometimes perceive that things are risky or dangerous but then they turn out not to be -- and in fact, that they can actually do go well :) - but I would rather not see that as foolish.
but you cant always chose a time how long you stay, for example at school.
I don't know if you will see and respond to this but i figure why not give it a try. im a 19year old female and to most people i appear to have all this confidence until im put in a situation where i have to socialize with them... lol well my social anxiety ALWAYS beats me and i end up coming off very rude to the people around me when really im just trapped in my own state of fear! my question is, is it wrong to apologize for m social anxiety? i just want people to know that im trying trying to come off snobby but i wonder if having social anxiety is something to apologize for? thanks! :)
+Crystal Giroux love this video, especially the advice in the secondfully how to cure the shyness and social anxiety systems
. A product I also found helpfull for easy ways to overcome shyness
is Moorack Stop Shyness Miracle - if anyone wants to know more search on youtube
I don't think you are alone. Many people with social anxiety have 1, or sometimes more, close family members with whom they feel comfortable. You might want to try mentally rehearsing answers to common questions, or even practicing with your husband - sort of the same way you might rehearse for a play, to increase the chance you could experience some success. You could also have him take a short video of you doing it well and then watch it to increase yr confidence in yr abilities. Best wishes
I'm 13 and I've had anxiety since year 5, nothing is helping me and I've been doing what scares me for over 5 years
Ur 20 now
I have this social anxiety thing and I hate it...i dropped out of school jst to be by myself and avoid crowd...i was extremely quiet and have no friends
It keeps getting worse and I'm scared what the outcome will be
I only have one friend at the age of 17, and will probably never experience love and i don't know what to do
how to cure shyness naturally, what Health food program in sebs shy remedy
For stopping panic attacks forever, you must learn what cause it, ways to avoid it and exactly what worsen it.
Please give me that solution. Thank you so much.
Patricia E. Hartford For much more details, please be sure to check out:
help1.info/panic-attacks-treatment
If you want to get rid of your social anxiety fast then go here: HootSpeak. xyz
I blush too much and have very bad anxiety, is there any help,please.
I'm 20 and I've never been in a relationship because most girls I've ever talked to have rejected me so its made me scared of what people think of me.
My advice. Keep trying. If you stop, you'll get use to being alone and never gather the courage to ask.
i like your videos i was wondering if you cold make a video on heplping and curing derealization/depersonalization its common with people with anxietysearch it up on youtube tons os teen and adults have it
Shyness can be a disadvantage you got to overcome if you want to be an extrovert.
For me, I don't worry about people thinking I'm stupid as much as the actual symptoms of anxiety
Hi what are the apps that you have? I have an Android
Hi. My apps are listed on my website on this page: asdspecialist.com/iphone.htm. There are ones for Android phones and ones for iPhones.
here's a few tips you can try
Find the reasons why you suffer from shyness - the first step to solving an issue is to understand why it is there.
Be comfortable about yourself - this makes it easier when you are with others.
Just do it - you will gain confidence by taking action - especially by doing activities which stretch your limits.
(I read these and more tips from Sebs Shy Remedy site )
I was feeling good about this video until you said that people that have social anxiety at a 10 level "wont work for you" ok so what would Work for me? I have sever social anxiety i stay inside for days sometimes weeks what can i do?
Hey im desperate for answers have you found a way to overcome this horrible thing?
Some of this is good but understanding is limited. "Fighting the fear" is wrong. This will cause you to concentrate on the fear and how you are coming across and not on the conversation. The key is to remind yourself that you do not care what others think, take a deep breath and just think "let go". Stop fighting, Ask questions and put all you energy into concentrating on their answer. Remember people love a good listener more than a good talker. Read Paul David's book to better understand this.
i want to clarify that its my perception of a social interaction being risky or scary when it isnt, that is foolish.
In other words: Cognitive Behavior Therapy. Exactly what I've been trying for 10 solid years with zero improvement. I'm 33 and I've been absolutely DESTROYED by social anxiety for over half my life and nothing helps.
Sorry, if this seems hostile, I'm just so frustrated and disheartened because I'll end up dying alone and afraid...
I know it's been a long time since you commented, but I hope you're doing okay friend
Oh hey this was posted on my birthday
Get out, get out, get out. Thats the way, and dont think about it. I wasted so much time, thinking, in my head. No, get out, get out, get out. You have value, show others.
Get your focus off of you an put it on them and always make eye contact
Social anxiety is not fun. Having to deal with people asking you: "Why are you so quiet?" on an almost daily basis gets old real fast. Anyways, for some good tips to cure social anxiety that cannot fit in this comment see stopshyness.info
To cure anxiety attacks forever, you must understand what cause it, ways to cure it and also exactly what make it worse.
For stopping panic disorders permanently, you need to know what cause it, methods to avoid it as well as what make it worse.You'll find out more here:
help1.info/panic-attacks-remedies
I have spent months studying reducing shyness at home and discovered a great website at Sartar Shy Method (google it if you're interested)
Alright there! Have you heard about - flowen epic social system (google it)? Ive seen some incredible things about it and my work buddy had great gains with it.
I am anxious to remove my mask in public please help me. Because of covid my confidence are gone fuck this covid!
***** Well said. I have social phobia for several years and the only thing that worked was medication. Most of these videos are crap.
Oh hey this was posted on my birthday