You know I was going to make a remark about how switching to xeno porn would make the commissar *blam!* you just as much as this video would but when I actually thought about it the odds are actually lesser than the xeno porn.
@@elysiankentarchy1531 Depends on what kind of xeno porn. If your watching an Eldar blood orgy thats doubly bad since its both xeno filth AND Slanesh worship.
@@Αντωνηςλιυδακης nah, antifa are one of the skaven clans, preferring to back-stab each other in perpetual oppression Olympics, while chaos is Africa where you are indeed viewed as a demigod if you fuck, eat and kill other tribes like there is no tomorrow and life of a somewhat sentient being is valued no more than life of a fly.
The coolest thing a 40k character can do is become a *immortal daemon prince.* The 2nd coolest thing a 40k character can do is help his colleague become a *immortal daemon prince.* The 3rd coolest thing a 40k character can do is help his colleague become a *''G'rrhbrlbrblbr':ing* chaos spawn in the hope of being dealt the transformation into a *[...]* you guessed it. *So what are you waiting for?* Make your loyalist space marine chapter master go rogue today! *CAUTION:* Not for the un-gene seeded or easily mind cleansed. May cause tearing of the eyes, uncontrollable laughter and seizure of one's immortal soul. *Aspirants may experience* sensations such as: being stalked by the ordo hereticus, levitation, sedation, stimulation, strange nightmarish haunting images, sleep walking, sleep talking, sleep kicking, sleep punching, sleep worship, sleep sleeping. *Warning:* If your aspiring champion experiences an erection lasting more than 4 hours call you local slaaneshi doctorate immediatley.
Person: "How did you become a chaos champion? Chaos Champion of Khorn: "I fought and took the heads of great warriors." Chaos Champion of Tzeentch: "I plotted the downfall of both an entire city and my warlord." Chaos Champion of Slaanesh: "I have the stamina of a god!" Chaos Champion of Nurgle: 'I got wasted, ate some bad meat, shit in a town's well, poisoning the town's water supply."
@@joku212 yes but in order to truly worship Slannesh one must always be willing go further as to experience more and more excess as the prince of pleasure demands. For a follower of the thirsting god enough is never enough there must always be *MORE* and then even more than that.
*_*Chaos Champion: The Video Game*_* Choosing your patron God determines your play style. Khorne - Mount and Blade meets DOOM Slaanesh - Mount and Blade meets AGONY/Lust for Darkness Nurgle - Mount and Blade meets Plague Inc Tzeentch - Mount and Blade meets Mount and Blade meets Mount and Blade meets Call of Cthulhu (Edit: *_"Just as planned...."_* ) Malal - THERE IS NO MALAL! **BLAM**
I imagine a Tzeentch warband as completely memeworthy; like nobody ever does something, everyone is nice to each other, but people just fall over dead, disappear or have tragic accidents all the time.
You're not alone Arch, I've been suggesting an official Warhammer Fantasy Mount & Blade game for years, so we don't have to rely on "janky" fan mods anymore.
@@LegateRioksia I can't wait either by 2060 though Barron Trump will be leading the space force with his Thunder warriors. By that time Banner Lord will at least have a release date.
*Holy Terra dispatch*: This is Holy Terra dispatch, what is the nature of your emergency? *Me*: Arch Warhammer is sharing how to become a Champion of something called Chaos, sounds heretical *HTD*: We will dispatch our agents to investigate, the Emperor Protects
All inspiring chaos warlord Nightmare: Chaos warlord: 4 lords of Chaos!!! I have done many deeds for you: Put plagues into food of entire villages, Directed tens of "Orgii Circuses" with STDs into civilised places, Slaughtered entire cities to build a skull pyramid and Manipulated nations into war with one another. Wheres my Rewards???!!! Nurgle: Fine, here's your reward - diarrhea Chaos warlord: What.... Slaanesh: Here's my - Hemorrhoids, because you should learn to love the pain. Chaos warlord: That's not what I.... Khorne: Might as well join the fun - Your diarrhea will be very bloody!!!! Chaos warlord: No, that's… Tzeentch: And here’s my gift - during the diarrhea you will shit frogs and snakes instead of simple shit. Chaos warlord (crying): Stop! Just STOP!!!
Then malice just steps in and get rid of all that and says: here have some super strength resistance to fucking everything and a bunch of other mumbo jumbo alright byee
I followed all the instructions and despite meticulously checking every step I have proceeded to be transformed into a chaos spawn and defecate out of an orifice I do not believe I had before. I rate this guide 5/10, it was okay but expect to experience some unforeseen inconveniences.
A quick hint for aspirinng chaos worsiper - Pantheon wants sacrifice that are of great value to the supplicant, so unless that particular goat was very dear to you Chaos Gods unlikely to consider it a worthy sacrifice. Your firstborn child, on the other hand, or your favorite porn DVD(as long as it's the only copy) may be looked upon with favor.
Step 1: Petition Nurgle for favor. Step 2: Impress him by eating nothing but Taco Bell breakfast, lunch, and dinner for eight days straight. Step 3: Try to survive the worst bowel wrenching pain ever.
Daemon's Princedom has one particular drawback as, once you've ascended, you can now only interact with the physical world once warp energies/ chaos winds are high enough in the area in question.
I think its overly done to the point noone really cares about it anymore. Nevertheless why not put more effort and watch "Mahou Shoujo Ore" its one of the fastest way to get noticed by Slaanesh.
I'm old enough to remember a time before the Northern Marauder tribes (baring Norsca) existed in the fluff. Indeed, I distinctly remember an article in White Dwarf where Rick Priestly and co. fessed up not having the slightest clue where these hordes of black-armored madman actually came from. Cue the 1997 Realm of Chaos boxed set and the introduction of the Kurgans, the Hungs and the Tongs.
Cryptosporidium 137 Well it's no wonder why you just said the C S word. You say that you turn into one. The only reason why Arch can say is because he's an Emperor/Sigmar fearing Inquisitor/Witch Hunter, whereas if Chaos worshippers say it they turn into it.
Nah, Europe is Tzeentch with their extreme liberalism. Slaanesh is in Asia (no explanation needed), Khorne has the Middle East (no explanation for this either), Nurgle has Africa (Where else does Ebola come from?).
Y’know, this was possibly the most entertaining video of yours I’ve seen in a while. I actually drew the attention of my family members with the odd chicken/goblin noises that constitute my laughter. Well done, sir.
The best position among your warband's leader to climb the ladder further might be a position behind him, somewhere close to his neck in a good distance for a lil stabby stab stab I assume.
Given the absolutely crippling rate of attrition it seems you have to go through to become even a chaos warrior, I am surprised the forces of chaos can even find enough human(ish) servants to launch any attack of significance against the empire.
When you bring up how it’d make a great game, I was thinking “Shadows of Mordor with a Warhammer fantasy setting.” I’m getting nerd-gitty just imagining doing quests for chaos gods to be a champion undivided
I think im already leaping bounds.. I was banned from Archwarhammer Discord by a moderator who accuses me of posting something illegal of a gif. (It wasnt what the mod claimed it was) Despite its taken from Inuyashiki.. A series from the creator of Gantz. Soo.. Y'know.. If its enough to offend one of Arch's inquisitorial moderators.. Its sure as hell going to get noticed by the Chaos Gods.
A magic user probably gets a better carrier plan in the chaos gods hierarchy: Hedge Wizard > Witch > Warlock Then you got plenty of power to stick a job as a Cult Magus or a Norscar Shaman. Until you get the dream job of Chaos Sorceror, and perhaps turn an Exalted Daemon.
Heh makes me wonder if it would even be possible to troll chaos.... Like how would the lord of change himself respond to someone fucking up his plans just by having the right person in the wrong place at the right time to throw some wrenches in the gears.
Funny thing is they seems to like someone like that as their ultimate champion, an ever chosen in wh fantasy since all the trials archaon went through that was personally designed by the chaos gods is to prove he can resist them, him not letting slaanesh seduce him with worldly desires in the dark prince’s trial, him not succumbing to diseases in nurgle’s trial, and him not being fooled by the maze Tzeentch built, the only maybe exception is khorne’s trial since in it he just have to kill a greater daemon which isn’t really defying the blood god since he thrives as much violence as possible, in any source possible
So I was working an extra shift last night when my phone started to blow up with RUclips notifications. I was quite pleased to see that it was because Arch’s account was back. So why am i commenting on the video and not the most recent? Simple, this was the first one I punched up while out for my daily walk about
17:00 There was a game like that. Shadow of Mordor and Shadow of War. Both were and still are a blast to play. Imagine starting out as your character and your tutorial is taking out a war and leader. From there you go around the warhammer world recruiting others, raising hell, and gathering items to boat you stats. Think Daniel from Total War but as a human. I would play that game religiously.
@@asdrubaelvect8038 Thank you for helping the Inquisition. I refer you to my assistant I will be sure to attend to the matter in the next 200-300 years.
This is an easy one. You go to the mountain at the magnetic north pole (not the actual north pole, that's where I keep my stuff). You pick one of the caves (any, it really doesn't matter) and kill whatever is inside and nick their stuff. Then, discard any of their stuff that you don't like (or where your's is better) and call it an offering to which ever god you want to bless you. Then you have to rack up some numbers, to show that you're actually worth investing in. I recommend collecting 100 skulls for Khorne, catching 100 plagues for Nurgle, sleeping with 50 different species for Slanesh or reading 1000 books for Tzeentch. Now that you've got their attention, kill somebody as a sacrifice to them and bingo you're a Champion of Chaos. *Result may vary. Side effects include, death, spawndom, addiction, and rapid weight gain
You know what? A hefty mod of Skyrim could work for this Chaos Champion game, I mean, we already have the spiky edgy pauldrons and summoning things from the universe's Hell, and there's already a combat and magic system in place.
I watched this sitting in my force meditation chamber, the emperor called and said there is someone trying to dock in the Death Star hanger called “inquisition” does anyone know who these guys are?
Ah, reminds me of when the roaming warband called abominations attacks in the total war game, yep nothing but abominations that attacked an army of nothing but weak gobos.
For all ya all saying we should declare an exterminatus on Arch for this video I would like to point out a couple things: 1. Arch is an Inquisitor so he can technically do this. 2. Far more importantly Arch is on Holy Terra and we *CANNOT* declare exterminatus Holy Terra, believe me guys, we tried that after the Eversor failed to take him out.
Not to mention, this is a Fantasy themed chaos video so the imperial inquisition has no authority to take down this guy, that would be the Witch Hunter's job
There are only two voices on RUclips that are smooth as honey for my ears and both are used for storytelling - Warhammer and Dragon age lore. Male - Arch Warhammer Female - Proper Bird With a sassy voice like that i would follow you to hell and back. :D
Imagine being some poor bastard from the lower realms that accidentally wound up fucking over his master by accident, that pleased one of the Gods, and forced him down the path of Chaos.
I was thinking or a Champion of Slaanesh OC Her name is Vivianna, and she is half eldar. She is a very powerful psyker. Her Warband is called the Pleasure Platoon. She has willingly given herself over to Chaos because of the brutal treatment she suffered at the hands of the Imperium due to being half Eldar. She seeks to turn people against the Emperor by seducing them with pleasure forbidden by the Imperium.
The gods are pleased! Now we will have many many more aspirant champions of chaos! We shall make sure to convey this to the Horned Rat for your rewards!
![Stromae, Pomme - “Ma Meilleure Ennemie” (from Arcane Season 2) [Official Visualizer]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/1F3OGIFnW1k/mqdefault.jpg)
Yes Inquisitor, this video here.
He is the inquisitor
I will see to it personally ( jk , Im alpharion)
But I thought I was the real Alpharion @@alketsadedinaj3011
@@raamaa202 shhhhhhhh
**exterminatus intensifies**
I was watching this when the Comissar entered our dugout, switched to xeno porn because it was easier to explain.
Thanx to the God emperor we have the commissar button
You know I was going to make a remark about how switching to xeno porn would make the commissar *blam!* you just as much as this video would but when I actually thought about it the odds are actually lesser than the xeno porn.
Ah yes... Heresy.
@@elysiankentarchy1531 Depends on what kind of xeno porn. If your watching an Eldar blood orgy thats doubly bad since its both xeno filth AND Slanesh worship.
So that is what you were really doing private Mud? Meet me outside immediately. Leave your rifle and helmet
So now Arch is giving career advice?
Coaching us towards Chaos xD
how to join your local antifa
@@Αντωνηςλιυδακης I'd say chaos is more tolerant and diverse than those degenerates
@@Αντωνηςλιυδακης nah, antifa are one of the skaven clans, preferring to back-stab each other in perpetual oppression Olympics, while chaos is Africa where you are indeed viewed as a demigod if you fuck, eat and kill other tribes like there is no tomorrow and life of a somewhat sentient being is valued no more than life of a fly.
@@dimas3829 I love the skaven, and I am a democrat
Well it's not the next Vraks video, but I'll take a Ruinous Powers tutorial any day of the week.
Arch is a Norscan after all, he obviously knows something more than us.
@@elasolezito I assumed there was something fishy about Arch. :D
@commissar grungor Yea there are many kriegsmen out there :P
A heretical post and yet you do not do your duty Commissar?
@@Elenrai the more i read about it the more i realize i know nothing about the country i live in
The coolest thing a 40k character can do is become a *immortal daemon prince.*
The 2nd coolest thing a 40k character can do is help his colleague become a *immortal daemon prince.*
The 3rd coolest thing a 40k character can do is help his colleague become a *''G'rrhbrlbrblbr':ing* chaos spawn in the hope of being dealt the transformation into a *[...]* you guessed it.
*So what are you waiting for?* Make your loyalist space marine chapter master go rogue today!
*CAUTION:* Not for the un-gene seeded or easily mind cleansed. May cause tearing of the eyes, uncontrollable laughter and seizure of one's immortal soul.
*Aspirants may experience* sensations such as: being stalked by the ordo hereticus, levitation, sedation, stimulation, strange nightmarish haunting images, sleep walking, sleep talking, sleep kicking, sleep punching, sleep worship, sleep sleeping.
*Warning:* If your aspiring champion experiences an erection lasting more than 4 hours call you local slaaneshi doctorate immediatley.
Horkos of Dõnsö you just made my day with this
@@thegodemperorofmankind3090
I always comment on Arch's videos. If they rank higher on analytics that roundabout helps out his channel.
Don't forget mild headaches.
What if he just has an erection in general should we phone slaneesh up and throw a party?
Omg...I read this in Arch's voice, well done sir that was funny as all hell
Person: "How did you become a chaos champion?
Chaos Champion of Khorn: "I fought and took the heads of great warriors."
Chaos Champion of Tzeentch: "I plotted the downfall of both an entire city and my warlord."
Chaos Champion of Slaanesh: "I have the stamina of a god!"
Chaos Champion of Nurgle: 'I got wasted, ate some bad meat, shit in a town's well, poisoning the town's water supply."
Sign me up for Khorn and Tzeentch so I can off the Slaneeshi and Nurglite champions.
Ain't putting up with their foolishness.
Or maybe:
Chaos Champion of Slaanesh:"I have fucked my whole warband... Three times."
@@avukovic84
I can feel my breakfast churning in my stomach with just the thought...
Chaos Champion of Arioch: "Blood and Souls!"
@@whyonthefall5373 Ah a fellow Elric fan
Step 1: kill everything in a very specific way
Step 2: dedicate pile of corpses to favorite god
Step 3: ???
Step 4: Profit
Step 2.5: slaanesh wants you to fuck those corpses
step 2.7
2fresh4nurgle
The "???" part isn't even a joke, since Chaos' rewards are _entirely_ random ! x)
@@joku212 yes but in order to truly worship Slannesh one must always be willing go further as to experience more and more excess as the prince of pleasure demands. For a follower of the thirsting god enough is never enough there must always be *MORE* and then even more than that.
Step 5: No profit? Make bigger pile of corpses!
*_*Chaos Champion: The Video Game*_*
Choosing your patron God determines your play style.
Khorne - Mount and Blade meets DOOM
Slaanesh - Mount and Blade meets AGONY/Lust for Darkness
Nurgle - Mount and Blade meets Plague Inc
Tzeentch - Mount and Blade meets Mount and Blade meets Mount and Blade meets Call of Cthulhu (Edit: *_"Just as planned...."_* )
Malal - THERE IS NO MALAL! **BLAM**
But there’s the horned rat though, how would skaven play out since they basically did most of the work that causes the end times
What about Undivided huh? Did you forget about that?
@Zack Nemo big words for someone in *crusading* distance
Felix Chaplin I like Lorgar
Would be cool to have a Mount and Blade inspired game as a Chaos Champion. I can imagine myself rip and tearing as a Khornate Champion :)
I imagine a Tzeentch warband as completely memeworthy; like nobody ever does something, everyone is nice to each other, but people just fall over dead, disappear or have tragic accidents all the time.
I'm sad to say this sounds like my life I need an inquisitor
You're not alone Arch, I've been suggesting an official Warhammer Fantasy Mount & Blade game for years, so we don't have to rely on "janky" fan mods anymore.
Warsword is pretty okay though its fan mod. Cant wait for bannerlord and someone to mod warhammer in it.
@@LegateRioksia we grow
Still waiting for a 40k total war, the men-at-arms mod isn't bad but it's nothing more then throw infantry forward
@@LegateRioksia I can't wait either by 2060 though Barron Trump will be leading the space force with his Thunder warriors. By that time Banner Lord will at least have a release date.
@@cloroxusthestainlessone4324 play the 40k mod for men of war assault squad 2
its Russian localized but there is a translation
After this video I want a roguelike set in the Chaos Wastes where you play an aspiring Chaos Champion.
There is a mount and blade warband mod that allows you to play as chaos and even ascend to demon prince
www.moddb.com/mods/warsword-conquest
Ascension to daemonhood!!
Let's write a script
The Gods of Chaos are the worst Senpai's to be noticed by
David Muresan they are, however, very likely to F you like you asked. :D
I see you
@@Mulletmanalive or in a completely unique way
David Muresan Tyranid Senpai
*Holy Terra dispatch*: This is Holy Terra dispatch, what is the nature of your emergency?
*Me*: Arch Warhammer is sharing how to become a Champion of something called Chaos, sounds heretical
*HTD*: We will dispatch our agents to investigate, the Emperor Protects
Why is the sun being blotted out by Imperial Navy ships?...
why did one of those ships drop a big ass bomb?
Why ... *big explosion sounds*
Yea but apparently orc invasions do....huh
Tzeench will protect us all meybe not the others gods tho
All inspiring chaos warlord Nightmare:
Chaos warlord: 4 lords of Chaos!!! I have done many deeds for you: Put plagues into food of entire villages, Directed tens of "Orgii Circuses" with STDs into civilised places, Slaughtered entire cities to build a skull pyramid and Manipulated nations into war with one another. Wheres my Rewards???!!!
Nurgle: Fine, here's your reward - diarrhea
Chaos warlord: What....
Slaanesh: Here's my - Hemorrhoids, because you should learn to love the pain.
Chaos warlord: That's not what I....
Khorne: Might as well join the fun - Your diarrhea will be very bloody!!!!
Chaos warlord: No, that's…
Tzeentch: And here’s my gift - during the diarrhea you will shit frogs and snakes instead of simple shit.
Chaos warlord (crying): Stop! Just STOP!!!
The worst part is this is canon.
Most worshippers are unwilling. I feel sorry for the ones who CHOOSE this because they obviously have no idea what they are getting into.
Then malice just steps in and get rid of all that and says: here have some super strength resistance to fucking everything and a bunch of other mumbo jumbo alright byee
Cultist Simulator, Warhammer Edition.
Oh oh me buy that :)
Ha ha that would be funny but maybe some of a nsfw game
indeed, just retheme the hours and the influences
I want it
Summon Dæmons. Eat your friends. Go insane.
Why are there inquisitors outside my house
#inqusition
They have candy!
Get in their van.
Because you touch yourself at night, Jimmy--and unless you worship Slaanesh only the Emperor should ever touch you.
Inquisitor?.. noo..
It just imperial agent sent to take you for... research purposes.
I just see a "Two Guys from Titan - Pizza" van. No need to be worried I guess.
"INQUISITION, OPEN UP"
*squads of Stormtroopers burst into the room and go about shooting up Arch's ceiling*
congrats gentlemen you all just kill a few civilian's in the process of shooting up the lore master ceiling.
Smashes through wall, you have killed citizens you will now be exterminated shoots boltgun
@@monstergirllover2363 use * example * but without the space *look at the hole in the wall and then look back at you* their is a door you know...
I know there is a door I am a space marine I don't use doors
@@monstergirllover2363 arch is a inquisitor and that person was just a hologram good luck finding where ever th warp he is
I followed all the instructions and despite meticulously checking every step I have proceeded to be transformed into a chaos spawn and defecate out of an orifice I do not believe I had before. I rate this guide 5/10, it was okay but expect to experience some unforeseen inconveniences.
You know having 12 hands and four buttholes isn't as bad as others make it seem.
@@samc6974 or a third penis
Could be worse.
I got two extra anuses. One won't stop speaking english in reverse and the other sings mexican folk songs in French
I feel your pain, I can't seem to aim my ruinous powers at the toilet bowl effectively anymore.
This is why you stay away from tzench
Finally! The guide I had been looking for.
No more goats sacrificed in vain.
A quick hint for aspirinng chaos worsiper - Pantheon wants sacrifice that are of great value to the supplicant, so unless that particular goat was very dear to you Chaos Gods unlikely to consider it a worthy sacrifice. Your firstborn child, on the other hand, or your favorite porn DVD(as long as it's the only copy) may be looked upon with favor.
Self-replicating whatnot frankly a thing of importance for anyone would do if you don’t want to suffer. You’re ex-wife’s parents for example.
(Family Guy-style cut to the Impossible Fortress: a Lord of Change is reading when a mangled goat slams down on his tome splattering blood everywhere)
This is not a skaven video, are you ashamed of your heritage?
He does lool like he has spent too much time in the burrows of Skavendom.
There were stryxies in todays live already
whats a skaven?
@@blmmore1778 must be new here welcome! I recommend u spend time listening to Arch's Lore Videos in ur spare time.
@Tom Yorke Calm down snowflake everyone gets made fun of on the internet.
The real question is, how many skaven does it take to kill a chaos champpion?
All of them.
It's a trick question, cuz skaven never run out
All you can muster minus one. That one is you, of course.
how many skaven do you have is the real question here.
*Distant laughing intensify*
The real question is how do you get OTHER skaven first in line to profit of them getting the job done?
Do you hear the voices too?!^^
CHAOS. Join us! We have cookies & Khorne Flakes...
*Dragon dildos and demonic stds..
The dark side called. They want their cookies back.
They would also like Tzeentch to speak at the next sith convention. 2 tickets sold.
@@lokenlok3114 is it slaanshmas already
BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD
MILK FOR THE KHORNE FLAKES
Every 10th half-sentence "most likely to die/be killed".
*_Still no Black Templar lore video??!_*
ill tell you the lore of the black templars, we are sons of dorn and we are angry
Now that you mention it, Arch has been unusually focused on heretical subject ta lately...
PUUUURGING WITH MY KIIIIIN!
@@childofslaanesh1251 Dorn's Angry Boys
Proposed Black Templar lore video: Arch screams, *"PURGE!"* for 45 minutes with no breaks.
"The Hung Barbarian" Sounds like a conan the barbarian themed animed hentai video title. DO IT ARCH, MAKE IT!
I never realized how much I want a Mount and Blade: Chaos Champion game until you said it. Give this man a successor chapter...wait no...a warband!
There is a mount and blade warband mod that allows you to play as chaos and even ascend to demon prince
www.moddb.com/mods/warsword-conquest
Step 1: Petition Nurgle for favor.
Step 2: Impress him by eating nothing but Taco Bell breakfast, lunch, and dinner for eight days straight.
Step 3: Try to survive the worst bowel wrenching pain ever.
7 days
slannesh?
"Some warrior lodge"
Sounds familiar.
#BlameErebus
I cant say brother
@@waitwheresmycookie If you never hadn't heard about it
then you can't say, brother.
@PobortzaPI
If they haven't heard of The Lodge, they can't handle the "log".
Daemon's Princedom has one particular drawback as, once you've ascended, you can now only interact with the physical world once warp energies/ chaos winds are high enough in the area in question.
And not one Matt Ward joke, Arch you alright?
I think its overly done to the point noone really cares about it anymore.
Nevertheless why not put more effort and watch "Mahou Shoujo Ore" its one of the fastest way to get noticed by Slaanesh.
@@TrippingwithDari euphoria/boku no pico
Or read metamorphosis
Matt wards for the 40k ultramarines, this here is fantasy
BY SIGMAR, I shall notify the witch hunters of this! Uh, not before I watch it myself for research purposes...
Finally, someone else who actually knows who to call to deal with this video
I guess you could say Arch is championing 40k lore videos.
😁👏👏👏👏👏👏
Luetin09 and a border prince are the best. Arch is 3rd
Hmmm I tried to be a Champion of Slaneesh. Now I got 3 swat teams outside my house right now........
ops!
haha
Oh nice, finally a DIY-video worth watching.
I'm old enough to remember a time before the Northern Marauder tribes (baring Norsca) existed in the fluff. Indeed, I distinctly remember an article in White Dwarf where Rick Priestly and co. fessed up not having the slightest clue where these hordes of black-armored madman actually came from. Cue the 1997 Realm of Chaos boxed set and the introduction of the Kurgans, the Hungs and the Tongs.
*read the video title*
Ah, I see, itching for an Exterminatus, are we?
Warband leader: *"Your diarrhea intimidates me!"*
**kills the poor bastard**
Thanks arch, this makes things so much easier.
Glory to Lorgar and the true gods and all that.
No. Glory to Archaon the Everchosen
*INCOMING CALL FROM THE HOLY ORDER OF THE INQUISITION*
This call is intercepted by the Witch Hunters of sigmar, go back to nuking 40k planets
"How to become a chaos champion"-video started with Libero dipers commercial 😂
Is there a better way to start a nerdy weekend ?
No.
This sounds like steps to becoming a manager in retail.
But I did the same thing and I’m becoming a chaos spawww! *inhuman roaring*
*This is a good paiiiin!!*
Didn't read terms and conditions classic mistake
All ways look at the small print then tzeench will gift you
Cryptosporidium 137 Well it's no wonder why you just said the C S word. You say that you turn into one. The only reason why Arch can say is because he's an Emperor/Sigmar fearing Inquisitor/Witch Hunter, whereas if Chaos worshippers say it they turn into it.
Never say that word
Instructions unclear, I now have a time-share in Uganda, please help.
Can't help
Invading China
All glory to Khorne
@@mgc7199
No you stupid bastard you were supposed to invade Russia during winter
Would help but tzeench wants me to read tactical books
@ Ivan TheMadVandal
You're confusing me with Poroshenko (Ukrainian US puppet).
I'm sure Khorne has a job for him soon.
You should do a video on how a clan rat could rise in power!
He covers the rising through the ranks of clan Skryer in his video on that clan.
Nah, Europe is Tzeentch with their extreme liberalism. Slaanesh is in Asia (no explanation needed), Khorne has the Middle East (no explanation for this either), Nurgle has Africa (Where else does Ebola come from?).
@@Marinealver I think you made replayed to the wrong comment. :))))
I was missing that Fantasy content. I'm so glad to see this.
"too stubborn to lay down and die, like a cooperative person would have..." -love the narrative lol.
"Arch's Guide to Heresy", soon in your local bookstore.
Y’know, this was possibly the most entertaining video of yours I’ve seen in a while. I actually drew the attention of my family members with the odd chicken/goblin noises that constitute my laughter. Well done, sir.
The best position among your warband's leader to climb the ladder further might be a position behind him, somewhere close to his neck in a good distance for a lil stabby stab stab I assume.
“Hmm I sure do have a lot of rivals... commence plan: Night of the Long Knives 2: Extermination Boogaloo”
Given the absolutely crippling rate of attrition it seems you have to go through to become even a chaos warrior, I am surprised the forces of chaos can even find enough human(ish) servants to launch any attack of significance against the empire.
Slaanesh whorship helps with the population problem. just cut up a Spawn for food, they will regenerate
The birth rates in Slaaneshi groups help maintain that attrition.
When you bring up how it’d make a great game, I was thinking “Shadows of Mordor with a Warhammer fantasy setting.” I’m getting nerd-gitty just imagining doing quests for chaos gods to be a champion undivided
* starts video *
INQUISITORS! OPEN UP!
*witch hunter throws inquisitor away*
Witch Hunter: this is my town, go back to 40k
Grandfather Nurgle:
That was a great feat of feces..
Reward this man!
I can feel every inquisitor coming for you now
Every *witch hunter*
I know this is a old video. But I just found your channel and it’s amazing
My eyeballs are devoted to Slaanesh, my heart to Khorn, my mind to Tzeentch, and my nine laughing anuses to Papa Nurgle.
FOR TEN THOUSAND YEARS I HAVE SLUMBERED
AND I NOW AWAKEN FOR FANTASY LORE
I think im already leaping bounds..
I was banned from Archwarhammer Discord by a moderator who accuses me of posting something illegal of a gif. (It wasnt what the mod claimed it was) Despite its taken from Inuyashiki.. A series from the creator of Gantz.
Soo.. Y'know.. If its enough to offend one of Arch's inquisitorial moderators.. Its sure as hell going to get noticed by the Chaos Gods.
Me: Considering the impossibility of a Nurgle champion hiding his mutations.
My Brain: The Ship of Febrezius.
A magic user probably gets a better carrier plan in the chaos gods hierarchy:
Hedge Wizard > Witch > Warlock
Then you got plenty of power to stick a job as a Cult Magus or a Norscar Shaman.
Until you get the dream job of Chaos Sorceror, and perhaps turn an Exalted Daemon.
I do enjoy that it makes it sound like tutorial on how to DIY become a champion of the dark gods
HERESY!!!
@@johnsilver5783 I did.
@@johnsilver5783 I found it funny.
I suggest you keep your mouth shut before the local arbites take note of your rash behaviour, imperial citizen.
Heh makes me wonder if it would even be possible to troll chaos.... Like how would the lord of change himself respond to someone fucking up his plans just by having the right person in the wrong place at the right time to throw some wrenches in the gears.
Congratulations, you are now a chaos spawn.
thats basically arhcion, which is why hes choas undivided
do tell more this arhcion fellow sounds interesting. any books about him to recommend by any chance?
@@Phenixtri Arch did a warhammer video about him not long ago
Funny thing is they seems to like someone like that as their ultimate champion, an ever chosen in wh fantasy since all the trials archaon went through that was personally designed by the chaos gods is to prove he can resist them, him not letting slaanesh seduce him with worldly desires in the dark prince’s trial, him not succumbing to diseases in nurgle’s trial, and him not being fooled by the maze Tzeentch built, the only maybe exception is khorne’s trial since in it he just have to kill a greater daemon which isn’t really defying the blood god since he thrives as much violence as possible, in any source possible
Do a Cathay lore and deamon Lore video at SOME POINT (fantasy demons)
Unlike real demons like this, with khrone.. hmm
This video,making an Ork society,and invading a planet as tyranids all make good video game ideas
So I was working an extra shift last night when my phone started to blow up with RUclips notifications. I was quite pleased to see that it was because Arch’s account was back. So why am i commenting on the video and not the most recent? Simple, this was the first one I punched up while out for my daily walk about
Still waiting on The Hung Barbarian video Arch.
17:00 There was a game like that. Shadow of Mordor and Shadow of War. Both were and still are a blast to play.
Imagine starting out as your character and your tutorial is taking out a war and leader. From there you go around the warhammer world recruiting others, raising hell, and gathering items to boat you stats. Think Daniel from Total War but as a human. I would play that game religiously.
"As nutty as squirrel sh*t"
Arch: I applaud your turn of phrase and will, without shame, use it in my daily life.
I. DO. NOT. APPROVE!!!
I have a series of planets to report to you.
I sacrifice Imperial Inquisition to the ruinous powers.
@@Fox1223 Try it you filthy heretic!
@@asdrubaelvect8038 Thank you for helping the Inquisition.
I refer you to my assistant I will be sure to attend to the matter in the next 200-300 years.
@@Fox1223 and all i got was this lousey t-shirt
The Northerners sound like a jolly fucking bunch when a party is in effect.
Chaos Champions of Khorne should be called Khorne stars.
This is an easy one. You go to the mountain at the magnetic north pole (not the actual north pole, that's where I keep my stuff). You pick one of the caves (any, it really doesn't matter) and kill whatever is inside and nick their stuff. Then, discard any of their stuff that you don't like (or where your's is better) and call it an offering to which ever god you want to bless you.
Then you have to rack up some numbers, to show that you're actually worth investing in. I recommend collecting 100 skulls for Khorne, catching 100 plagues for Nurgle, sleeping with 50 different species for Slanesh or reading 1000 books for Tzeentch.
Now that you've got their attention, kill somebody as a sacrifice to them and bingo you're a Champion of Chaos.
*Result may vary. Side effects include, death, spawndom, addiction, and rapid weight gain
Nurgle is the only one rewarding you when shit hits the fan
Chaos warbands in Warhammer Fantasy makes orks look organized.
Becoming a Champion of Slaanesh would be so cool.
Who knew becoming a champion of chaos was so chaotic
I'll become a chaos champion in the name of the Emperor!
Finally, a vocational video you can really get behind!
How to become a chaos champion. Why arch you magnificent bastard I think you might inspire me.
*slaps top of roof*
Car salesman: this bad boy can fit so many skulls.
"khorn in disguise" trying to imagine khorn wearing one of those fake glasses with a mustache things.
You know what? A hefty mod of Skyrim could work for this Chaos Champion game, I mean, we already have the spiky edgy pauldrons and summoning things from the universe's Hell, and there's already a combat and magic system in place.
Glad you mentioned mount and blade!! Epic game. As always great video
I watched this sitting in my force meditation chamber, the emperor called and said there is someone trying to dock in the Death Star hanger called “inquisition” does anyone know who these guys are?
Ah, reminds me of when the roaming warband called abominations attacks in the total war game, yep nothing but abominations that attacked an army of nothing but weak gobos.
Ah finally the tutorial video I've been looking for!
Chaos is just a super intense MLM
FINALLY A WARHAMMER FANTASY LORE!!!!
For all ya all saying we should declare an exterminatus on Arch for this video I would like to point out a couple things:
1. Arch is an Inquisitor so he can technically do this.
2. Far more importantly Arch is on Holy Terra and we *CANNOT* declare exterminatus Holy Terra, believe me guys, we tried that after the Eversor failed to take him out.
Not to mention, this is a Fantasy themed chaos video so the imperial inquisition has no authority to take down this guy, that would be the Witch Hunter's job
Finally a Fantasy video! Took Tzeench long enough to change the theme of this channel...
Purge.
EVERYTHING.
Witch Hunter of Sigmar: on it
There are only two voices on RUclips that are smooth as honey for my ears and both are used for storytelling - Warhammer and Dragon age lore.
Male - Arch Warhammer
Female - Proper Bird
With a sassy voice like that i would follow you to hell and back. :D
That skaven in the corner brings a smile to my face every time I see him
Imagine being some poor bastard from the lower realms that accidentally wound up fucking over his master by accident, that pleased one of the Gods, and forced him down the path of Chaos.
Heresy.. HERESY EVERYWHERE!
I was thinking or a Champion of Slaanesh OC
Her name is Vivianna, and she is half eldar. She is a very powerful psyker.
Her Warband is called the Pleasure Platoon.
She has willingly given herself over to Chaos because of the brutal treatment she suffered at the hands of the Imperium due to being half Eldar.
She seeks to turn people against the Emperor by seducing them with pleasure forbidden by the Imperium.
She precides to DIE because someone takes her place just as planned *distant squid laughter*
The gods are pleased! Now we will have many many more aspirant champions of chaos! We shall make sure to convey this to the Horned Rat for your rewards!
I'm pretty sure not even tcheeche knows where the fuck he is
After the vraks series is over I’d love to see a series on the badab war