A woman on here commented about her sister who's in an abusive relationship and how the kids are basically being abused as well. I told her to call cps before it gets worse and first she asked if I have done it before, I said I have and she retaliated by saying she bet I never really have and blah blah blah. Basically trying to justify not doing anything.
@@elisejackson2854 Yes, it's on brand with denial, unfortunately common. As frustrating as the bystander effect. By the way, I know you didn't mean anything by it but please don't reply with situations like these below my comment, obviously I'd rather avoid being reminded of real life abusers getting away with their shit. Thanks for understanding
Yeah right. Next you'll be complaining about people who stick their noses in where they don't belong. I close my eyes. You married him. Your problem. You WONT LEAVE. What can ANYONE do? Nothing
My ex stabbed me in the thigh while we were parked in a store parking lot and I kept banging on the window for help (the passenger side door was broken) and the guy next to us looked at me then just drove off. Then my ex started driving away because I was screaming and I crawled to the back of the van, opened the back door and jumped out. Then I went up to this woman crying and screaming for help that I’d been stabbed and she looked at me like I was lying (I was wearing black pants and the blood hadn’t dripped to the ground at that point) then said “if you were stabbed then how were you able to jump out of that car and why didn’t you call the police??” I was crying so bad and my ex came up next to me saying “I’m sorry she’s off her meds. I’m going to just take her home” but the store clerk came and said he saw me jump out of the car on camera and called the police then the police show up and my ex was saying “she’s just crazy. I’ve been trying to leave her for months but just can’t get rid of her. She abuses me all the time.. blah blah blah” it was super embarrassing for me and i just wanted to go home. The mental and physical pain I felt that day still stays with me (oh and I have a giant scar as a daily reminder that people are shit) Edit: btw...yes he did go back to prison for anyone who’s wondering
My mom got off the phone with my aunt and didn't hang up. My aunt heard my mom screaming, cussing, beating me and me crying. She told me she heard her and she did nothing. I'd rather she never said anything. My whole family knew and did nothing when I came to 4th of July in long pants and long sleeves. Don't look away. Do the difficult thing because it's right
That’s a very brave thing of you to do. I can’t imagine how hard that must have been and the mixed feelings you must have been feeling. Was he okay afterwards?
I put up with my mother's abusive ex for over a year before I did something. They'd fight and I'd be up all night prying that man who was at least 3 times my size off of my mother, hoping and praying that that night wouldn't be hers or my last. Then there'd be a good day where everything went back to normal. But then it would happen again. It wasn't until I was sitting in health class in 8th grade listening to the teacher talk about the cycle of abuse that I realized that it wasn't ever going to get better. I was also getting worried as he snapped more frequently and threatened our lives more often. He started taking our phones so we had no communication with anyone. Once he threw our phones in at least 2 feet of snow. We spent an hour searching at 4 am in shorts, a t-shirt, and no socks or shoes. He broke a few phones too. We lived in the country and the nearest place was a 30 minute walk. For how big he was I wouldn't have been able to run far enough before he caught me. I tried to get out of the house once and he grabbed me by the back of the shirt before I could unlock the front door and threw me across the living room and into the dining table. Once I made it to the neighbors house to knock but they didn't answer and I was dragged back. I went to school normally and I think only my school counselor realized there was something wrong but that was only a few weeks before I got us out of there. The only reason I did was because I was worried about him hurting my younger siblings. I had my uncle and dad pick us up before telling them the full truth. We had told my dad and his side of the family and my mom's side that they fought a lot. We never talked about the abuse. My mom went to jail for a year after that for something that happened with her other ex and we lived with our aunt and uncle for a year. We live with our father now. He's honestly a pretty lousy parent but he missed a lot of our lives because of my mother and him splitting up when I was in 3rd grade. We only got to see him for some weekends and summer. All that went down when I was 13 going on 14 and I just turned 16. It was definitely a long road but speaking up was the right decision. I think most of the time speaking up is the ONLY decision. The only decision to make it stop at least. I'm sorry about your experience. I hope you and your brother are doing well now.
@@MicheleBele1220 she didn’t brush it off she just wasn’t sure she didn’t want to judge when she just met them hit it felt off to her which is why she stuttered a bit on her words talking to them and she looked back when walking away
@@MicheleBele1220 she didn’t realize anything she thought of what could be gong on which is why she didn’t say anything cause she wasn’t sure cause when he came to the door in her words “ he seemed so charming” she didn’t know he hit her she thought he did but what can she say when she just met them and knows nothing about them which is also why she was spacing out thinking with the other girl and she told her about it
As my mother always said: death grip on the shoulder. Her abusive ex husband did it in every photo they took together, even in their wedding photos. It hurts because it's right on a pressure point, but it appears like a normal, endearing squeeze of the shoulder. I know because he'd do it to me, too.
Yep, so then they can hurt you right infront of people. And if you dare to pull away and react in pain they'll just start something like, "What's wrong with you? You're always whining and complaining etc." Which, (gaslighting) makes you look and feel crazy.
I saw it with a couple two years ago he wouldn't even let the woman speak had to tell him at a point to let the woman speak and stop interrupting our conversation as I wanted to hear what she was saying and I wasn't addressing him. Of course he got loud, boisterous and annoying as if I cared I contonuhed to ignore him.
Yep, typical sign of abuse is a hand somewhere on the body. Typically innocuous seeming, it's a way of constantly reminding the victim of their presence. I remember reading about a girl who's mom forced her to pretend to be sick for attention and one of the ways she controlled her was to keep a hand somewhere on her that would squeeze when she wanted her daughter to do or say something
I was involved in an incident when my daughter was five, I told her to run to our neighbors apartment and tell them to call 911. I know my neighbors had to of heard me screaming for help and things being slammed and thrown but that woman told my daughter she needed to go back home. I don't hold hate in my heart for many people but I have hate for that woman and people like her that turn a blind eye, I would never turn a baby away that came to my door. I honestly can't wrap my head around it, regardless of whether a child was involved or not, just how can people not feel the need to help someone?
I hope you'll find this as sort of a consolation but not everyone is like your neighbor. There are others who will help, like me and the others in the comments. I hope you and your daughter are doing ok.
I hate people who look the other way.I wish the successful men who surrounded and laughed with my father--with drinks in their hands--did not look the other way, either. Now, I know why. Women and children are props and pieces used in the power play.
Male children are just little men waiting to happen. Women are more than that, and I’m sure that little boys can recognize that. There are some men who just don’t deserve the Compnay of women or the joy of children. But don’t lump all men together. The men who turned the other Way were cowards. Scared of losing their jobs, and afraid of being wrong, or worse, afraid of doing what’s right only for the woman being beat to stay beside the abuser. Then what was his meddling for? You know what I mean? I know plenty of women who have told me they are being abused and I tell them to leave, but they say “I just cant.” It’s not that they can’t they just don’t want to.
@@iriskeniafernandez some women are afraid to “leave” because a lot of women have gotten killed by their exes for breaking up with them. i think they’d rather stay because they’d rather be beaten than be dead (although unfortunately some have been beaten to death too). fortunately too there are women that get help from getting restraining orders and support from their friends and family that didn’t look the other way ❤️
@@yoggers2121 that’s why we have to be supportive of women to give them as safe network to empower them. No one wants to be abused. And it’s no ones fault when someone showed to abuse them.
@@iriskeniafernandez sometimes these women don't have the backbone to leave. They don't want to leave a comfortable lifestyle or are too used to their daily routine to want to make a massive upheaval in their lives. It's very silly to stay with an abuser, it will only end badly. It's up to them to leave as they could disappear and go far away where their abuser can't find them. There are ways and means but you have to be brave and just do it.
I 1000% agree i hate people turning the other way when they someone getting abused. Especially family members that knows what was going on but ignore it for their own sake even so far letting kids get abused and traumatized
@@mewesquirrel6720 they still had police and child services in the 50s. They could also just not tolerate the behavior and help remove the loved one from the house.
@@SjofnBM1989 no they didn't, my grandmother never mentioned child services. I mean their were police officers who took kids from their homes and put them in foster homes(which weren't safe at the time or now). I think most things that were supposedly helpful back then had some bad apples
Sure you could report things, but most of the time the authorities would talk to the abuser who would give them a story and the police would just believe him and assume the person abused was actually at fault. Also this idea you just need to toughen up and not be such a sissy about the husband slapping you a couple of times. Hitting was seen as a healthy form of discipline. Views on this are totally different today. Remember this is a movie assuming how two women would be talking in the 1950s, or more accurately hoping they would be talking.
@@mewesquirrel6720 this happens everyday. Many church members knew my parents were starving and hitting me and didn't do jackshit. Just told me my parents loved me and just wanted what was best for me, and also lamented that their kids weren't as smart or well behaved as me. I'd say MOST people look the other way, even today.
Even my friends told me: „You are too sensitive.“ „He loves you.“ „ You are not used to being in a relationship because You were single for such a long time and thats why you are too hard on him.“ „He loves you but he can’t show it.“ „You look so beautiful together.“ „He is going through alot „You need to understand him.“ „Give it time. He will get better.“ But he was a narcissist. He abused me to a point where I had two nervous breakdowns and thought about killing myself. Three years have past since I broke up with him and I still can’t trust anyone. I am a man.
I'm so sorry you went through this. I hope you can heal ... and please get a better support system. True friends don't minimize or downplay your pain. And also thank you for sharing your story. It's important to keep in mind that anyone can be a victim of abuse and we need to protect or female and male loved ones.
I guess back then abuse was associated with poverty, having a nice house, meant you were doing good career wise .. and you're happy... happy people dont abuse their family. .... but they dont know...
Sometimes people will create lousy excuses because it’s hard for them to comprehend such awful things. I think she didn’t want it to be true, but alas it was :(
I was once sitting at a stoplight next to a couple. The lady was crying and saying “call the police, he hit me!” The guy was laughing and shaking his head. I got their license plate and called the police. The way I see it-if she needed help they were coming. If she didn’t need help she would learn an important lesson.
When I told my aunt that her son was sexually assaulting me, she told my parents and what did my parents do? Blame me for having the body of a female. I don't like this body and I wish I wasn't born in it. It's no something I can change and yet, the offender was protected and I was blamed. It's been two years since then and I still see him every time I visit. Because of that, I purposely didn't tell anyone the little detail that he had been doing it since I was seven. Y'all internet folks are the only ones that know. Hehe 😅✌🏻
Gosh I’m so sorry, please stay strong and always defend yourself no matter what or how you act, us women need to start speaking up, and if it was me I would totally get revenge like throw hard rock at him or something, and for you to his face and act like everything is okay, like no that’s not fair and shame to your parents for not standing up to you.
Don't hate ur body. It is not ur fault. Or ur body's. If anyone is at fault it is ur parents and ur aunt's son. If i were u, i would get my revenge at some point
Please please please tell someone. Clearly someone besides your family because they seem to be human garbage but he needs to be dealt with. If he's done it to you then it's unlikely he hasn't/won't do it to someone else.
I'm the type of person to do something to help when I see or hear something. It has brought on bad blood from some people but I've never once regret the choice to do something because I'd rather answer to myself then others
You are more of a man than most men I've known as a young girl or adult, romantically or patonically. What does that say about society or men? Or the women who benefit or fear from them? I don't know. I just know that the world is blessed to have women like you. Protect yourself, please. I wish you well. So many women and girls suffering in worst spots than I've been in. God bless you for not being afraid like everyone else I've known.
@@pennypenny376 thank you so much, I'm really happy to help. Even if it's just the words I share. I realized from a very young age that I wanted to be true to myself. When I was 5 I was molested by a relative and when I told my mom a bunch of other girls came forward. Sometimes it only takes one person to speak up, for others to find their courage to do the same. I'm not saying it's easy(some of my relatives won't speak to me to this day because they feel I destroyed the family) but as long as we stay true to what we feel is right at the time(everyone's perception of right may be different and/or changes all the time) we can live with our choice. You've found the strength and courage to see past your pain and empathise with those around, thank you for standing with others. Blessings and take care❤.
@@aquafinner1505 yes. I have felt in danger many times but I still do it because I want to be true to myself. I've had people threaten me before and even attack me for standing up for others but I know who I want to be. I would rather be true to myself and take a risk then lie to myself and live in regret. In regards to prying there is no harm in asking, the worst I can say is no😁
@@AryonaSamoto You are more helpful than you know. Thank you for this, I'm really glad we had this exchange. I know what's it's like to be molested so young, too. My outcome was not as favorable as yours (no one came forward or stood with me in any way, especially the adults). Not saying you didn't feel any consequence (which totally sucks). I think I still have heart, but something like that really destroyed my confidence until I realized it. You are really awesome
People need to open their eyes and care more for people around them. I myself was severely abused by a parent for years. I was beaten with different objects, strangled, showered/burned with hot water and many other things daily. I showed up at school with bruises and (looking back) the stupidest cover-up stories. My parent was even fined for child abuse, but no one talked to me or "saved" me. This only stopped when I went to childrens protective services myself at 15. The years that followed I was confronted by teachers, neighbors, coaches, family and so on telling me they all knew what was happening and they were so concerned and wondered how I turned out. After awhile this only made me very angry because I wondered how so many people could look the other way when they were "so" concerned.
You made a great choice I can’t believe how courageous you’ve been 💕💕 People just hope you would figure a way out without actually helping, they are too focused on their own lil lives. Shame on those forsaking a child’s cry for help
@Mike Litoris dude not all teens are dummies who don't know shit about mental help. Just because one person seeks help later doesn't mean others couldn't have recommended it. Lately I've seen that they're currently trying to take away the stigma against mental health and getting help. I myself has known I needed mental help since middle school and got it at 19 because I had to literally call because my mum wouldn't bother.
Can we talk about how she was talking to her husband's mistress about her husband and she was still thinking about a new neighbor. How many people would care that much about basically a stranger?
But the mistress isn't at fault because she never knew that her lover was a married man. But beth ann is really wise to separate the right from the wrong and keep her cool over all the matters till the end. It just shows what a superior character she is.
When I was around 11/12 there was a middle aged couple and their older daughters who lived with us. The husband was always so friendly with me, he'd always greet me and on days I may have forgotten my house keys and was locked out after school he would always come out to ask if I needed to use his phone, if I wanted something to drink while I waited, etc. The wife and daughters were more reserved. They lived next to us for years until I noticed he wasn't there anymore and I was seeing those women outside a lot more than I previously did. It turns out that he had been abusing his wife and she had finally had enough and kicked him out. I remember being so shocked because "He was so /nice/." I couldn't wrap my head around how the man who was so kind with me, some random kid from next door, could inflict that trauma on his own family. The point is, anyone could be 'The type'. It really doesn't matter how nice or intelligent or charming they come across as.
I was the whistle-blower in my family. I exposed the abuse my sister was enduring and it wasn't a one time thing. I told everyone I could in the family and so many of them told me to be quiet and let it work itself out. that wasn't an option for me and on Xmas eve 2014 I exploded and revealed what had happened in front of him and the rest of my family, so that they'd reckon with the truth. I don't regret it. she's empowered and free now. but yeah, I TOO hate ppl who look the other way
Two really awesome police officers helped me when my ex boyfriend went psychotic and broke nearly everything in my house and threw me around like a rag doll because he was drunk and I wouldn't give him the keys to the car. He called the police on himself and even bashed his head against the wall until he was bleeding to make it look like I got/threw something at him! When they showed up he suddenly was completely "coherent" and said I'd stolen the keys to his car after I went on a rampage and started breaking things, turning the entire thing around on me. Even though at that moment you couldn't tell he'd been drinking one of the officers could immediately tell that he was the one that broke everything not me. They asked me if I wanted to press charges but instead I just had them drive him to one of his friends houses and permanently kicked him out of mine, never to be seen again. That officer was hands down the coolest one I'd ever met. He was definitely one of the good ones.
Geez. All these survivor stories have made me realize what extreme lengths abusive people will go to to paint themselves as the victim. Makes me wonder how many were believed and got away with it.
The women before my sister also didn’t press charges on the abusive man she briefly dated. He had no record (she researched him before going out with him). Yet after he murdered my sister, 14 women came forward to corroborate his history of abuses dating back to his high school days... none of which were ever reported. My sister only dated him for 3 weeks very casually and he was very charming in the surface, but my sister was very aware. when she saw some red flags she was clear with him that she was no longer interested. She ended the connection but He wasn’t going to have that. I know it’s scary (I’ve had to report assault to authorities, myself) and often law enforcement and courts don’t do anything about abusers or rapists but report it anyway. Insist that It’s on record at least. So that women like my sister, who did her due diligence and researched men before she would go out on a date with them, would have had a chance. These kind of men do not “grow out of it”. They do not magically wake up as decent men one day. They are personality disordered, sociopathic, misogynists and most often, they just get worse. Please consider reporting. It could save lives.
It’s true . I grew up in the late 60’s, 70’s. It’s just the way it was . My dad used to beat my mom . Outside the house , he was a charmer . Inside the house , once the door was closed , hell on wheels . You just kept your mouth shut . Sad thing is my dad, he’s 86 now . Still trucking . Swear he’ll bury us all . My mom, the sweetest person, found out she had cancer in September 2013, dead on December 26, 2013. It’s just the way it was …..
@@nikkidash4826 Thank you . Still bothers me, but you deal with it. However when we were arranging my moms funeral , I took the priest aside who was going to do the eulogy and told him “ Don’t you dare mention “ Loving husband .” He looked at me and said “ Why ?” I told him how my dad was . He said “ Your mother never said one word about it . I said , that’s just the way it was
I once saw a girl crying on a curb, in the middle of the afternoon, looking absolutely shattered. I was walking with some friends to go get pizza and beer at a restaurant. She was across the street but caught my eye and I so badly wanted to go over and invite her to come with us, feed her pizza, ask what was going on. What ultimately stopped me was that I barely had enough money to cover my own food that day, and I thought my friends would be mad. It's been probably 10 years since that happened and I still think about it sometimes, and regret not doing something. Don't be afraid to look silly or maybe weird, or piss people off. Cross the street and introduce yourself.
I've seen those times quite often. Thankfully a few times I offered help & all they wanted was a phone to call. So relieving to help, yet do not offer what you can't provide. Prioritize your boundaries.
@@abigase135 .adult survivors of childhood beatings often claim it kept them from becoming a criminal or made the upright person they are now or it was done out of love. This toxic mindset is disguised as jokes about being beaten with belts, extension cords, shoes, tree branches, or objects thrown at them.
I can feel this to the bone. Being abused make you feel unworthy of making your own decisions, you always look at your abuser before saying anything that might trigger their hostility. Growing into violence really made me fragile, insecure, Incapable of loving or being loved, submissive. Take good care of your children, the wounds that happen in our childhood never heal.
@@sometimessnarky1642 it’s possible. But the cost of healing is really high. Think of how many life changing opportunities were missed because of this “healing process”.
@@sometimessnarky1642 Nope. You cannot. That shit always stays with you through dreams and memories. If you haven't been through something such horrible, please keep the comments about is it possible or not possible to heal.... even if you've been through some of it, you still have no rights to tell because everyone is a different individual, and in most cases it always stays there. It's a fact.
Since everyone is sharing, I feel the energy to share my story. There are some men who are so charming that they can convince anyone that their spouse is the incompetent one. My ex would be smiling and joking with his friends, and still with a grin on his face lean into my ear and say, "I'm going to fucking kill you when we get home." He'd swerve down the streets in the car screaming he was going to kill us both right there. He'd even beaten me until I was black and blue. My face was a blimp. I had vertigo for months. And that was only one of the times I'm describing. I was with him for 4 years. He had me convinced that anyone I dated would do the same because I just deserved it. Tell me I was so unlovable and no one would ever love me. And I believed him. We worked together and he convinced my coworkers I was stupid and awful. I told my best friend about what was happening, and he kept me away from her. I was too scared and too belittled. I moved out with him to get away from the trauma at home. I felt guilty to leave since my dad was the cosigner of the apartment (I was still a teen). He'd say "go ahead and call your dad. I'll tell him what YOU did." I wish I realized he was bluffing and I hadn't even done anything wrong other than cry and beg. After I left, my whole family didn't believe me for 6 months. I hadn't realized other than subtle hints of them giving me odd looks. My mom convinced my family for whatever reason that I was lying. I showed her the pictures I had of my face that I kept secret. My family now knows the truth to all my tears. But it just hurts my heart that it's so easy that people can be turned against you, even yourself.
Unfortunately no, but I'm just happy that I have him blocked on everything and have not seen him for about 2 years. I truly just never want to see him again. That's all I want (and why I decided not to go through the legal system). It felt satisfying just to leave. Honestly though, I am going to bring up Gabby Petito and Brian Laundrie- that situation hits me hard because my justice was leaving, and the poor girl never got that. Her real justice would be finding Brian and putting him into prison to rot for the rest of his life.
I DONT UNDERSTAND HOW ANY FAMILY WOULD THINK THEIR LOVED ONE IS LYING ABOUT SOMETHING LIKE THAT….IM SORRY BUT WHEN MY COUSIN TOLD THAT HER HUSBAND PUSHED HER DURING AN ARGUMENT…SINCE SHE WAS AN ONLY CHILD SOME OF US COUSINS (MALE AND FEMALE) PAID HIM A VISIT AND EXPLAINED TO HIM IN DETAIL HOW SHIT WOULD GO DOWN IF WE HEAR THAT KIND OF STORY AGAIN…THEY ARE STILL TOGETHER AND WE HAVENT HEARD OF ANY MORE INCIDENTS LIKE THAT…BELIEVE ME WE PAYED CLOSE ATTENTION FOR A LONG TIME JUST IN CASE SHE WAS SCARED TO TELL US BUT EVERYTHING WAS GOOD…YOU GOTTA PROTECT YOUR FAMILY NO MATTER WHAT…SHIT LIKE THIS SHOULD NEVER BE TAKEN LIGHTLY
I was in an abusive relationship and the amount of people that wouldn't help me and didn't believe me I think was more heartbreaking than the actual abuse. The amount of bystanders that never spoke up when he publicly yelled at me or shoved me. And then people have the audacity to ask afterwards "why didnt you just leave" 😒
When I was dragged away and raped, not one person stepped in to help. They looked me in the eye, then turned away. I, too, HATE when people look the other way.
Omg, I wish I could hug you and be there for you always. I hope that God is healing your heart and that Jesus is blessing your mind with extremely great favor. No one deserves that trauma you had. I am here to talk to if you need. Just let me know.
My cousin molested me twice when I was 11 and 12. I wanted to play on his Pokemon emulator. He wanted something more. I've only told my mom and sister. My sister is more understanding, and so is my mom, but I don't think she realizes how badly it affects me. They have not told anyone else in the family, in fear of further increasing the dysfunction in our family. I live in the same household as him. Sometimes I feel as though I'm the one being dramatic, due to the fact that I've "learned" to keep it in and not actively show my fear and disgust. I realize that this comment will most likely be swept by the sea of peoples' stories, but it feels nice to just share a story to strangers who understand.
I totally get you. I was in a situation like yours in my early teens but could not speak it out loud to my parents who btw are more than supportive of me but I dunno why somehow I fell mute. Threatened my cousin that I will tell them but never did. Luckily we don't stay in a shared household and now as a grown-up, it has kinda been swept under the rug. Now when we meet as adults, we act completely normal and nothing untoward has ever occurred. But I do wonder if he remembers? Now I have got over it but back as a kid, I was terrorized by his behavior.
I completely understand and if you do start acting out they look at you like you're "crazy" which makes it so much worse. It's a really tough one honestly, I just hope you can find the strength and courage to tell everyone in your family so that they know. It'll be EXTREMELY uncomfortable but please hear me, you wont be able to hold in the pain you're feeling forever without developing illnesses or even becoming suicidal. They need to know what happened and what they do with that information is up them but I beg you to SPEAK, for the sake of your health and your future. You might also feel like you're making your family even more dysfunctional by speaking but it was already dysfunctional even more the minute he decided to touch you. I could give you so many more reason, I'm just really so sorry he left you with this burden.
Me too, mama. I begged my mother not to say anything…I was afraid of being blamed. I wish she would have. Cause I’m a maladjusted mess who lives at home and he’s a married, happy world traveler. I see you, I hear you and I’m sorry.
About 20 years ago I owned a Hotel in rural Victoria, Australia. Every Friday night a group of older men would enjoy having beers together in the Front Bar. Laughing, joking and telling stories about how terrific they all were. Mutual pats on the back all round. I found out years later that one of that group would regularly return to his wife and beat her black & blue. The worst thing about this is that every other man in that social group knew. I feel ill thinking about how I provided hospitality to these 'seemingly' decent people. Speak up cowards!
@@blacktigerpaw1 .......and we've left the running of the world to men, only men, no women to counterbalance all that unbridled testosterone...I love them but they alone shouldn't be running the world. It's unbalanced. Peace and good health to you.
@@uravirginwhocantdrive1400 Thanks, the world we're born into manipulates us for sure. It takes courage, awareness & motivation to stick our heads above the mire. Hope 2022 is treating you well so far.
His portrayal of an abuser is spot-on. They can switch to charming in front of others, then go right back to their abusive tone/behavior twd their victim.
Tip that is taught in self defense: MAKE IT YOUR BUSINESS. If somone looks like they aren't feeling or looking normal, help them. But be careful when dealing with abusive relationships. It's hard to get out of them and very dangerous. It's more dangerous to get out of a abusive relationship than in one. So if you know someone or you are in an abusive relationship. It's okay if you didn't see any signs, you loved that person so it's hard to see the signs. If you are in this situation the best thing to do is to make a safety plan, and call the authorities if you can, if not make sure you have things to defend yourself with and places to escape. And if you are being abused it is NEVER YOUR FAULT! A person who loves you would not hurt you even if you made them mad. I hope everyone has a wonderful day! 😊
My aunt and uncle live near our house. When my "biological father" (I refuse to define him in other words) hit my mom and my other aunt, they didn't raise a finger. I remembered that one time (I was maybe 15) my brothers and I were alone with that sort of person. Things went bad and I ran to their home. They let me in, but did nothing more. And eventually I had to return home. I'm not sure I hate them, but I can't understand how my uncle did absolutely nothing to help his own sisters and nephews. I can't look at him in the face without feeling his church and family man are mainly hypocrisy. The point is, lots of people wouldn't feel the need to raise a finger. So it's important that we are ready to help others the way lots of people didn't receive
We don't really know your situation, and I'm so sorry for what you experienced. Have you asked them why they didn't help? It sounds like it went on for many years? Had they maybe tried to help early on but were turned away. I've seen many domestic abuse situations. Most of the time, people try to help at first and are rebuffed. Happened with my mom and with my best friend. She wrote a paper on it later, about the mindset of the abused woman and how the abuser can even make it seem like the family who wants to help is the enemy. They want to alienate the victim from their support system.
@@marydidyouknow5826 because cowards love themselves more than other people. It’s about ignoring situations to protect themselves and their time….I’ve seen it with my own eyes
I was 14 when an 18 year old got me pregnant. I thought I was in love with him and fought my mom and became defiant. I have multiple diagnoses including a child defiance disorder as well as hearing and seeing things that aren’t there. My mo chose not to press charges against the guy who got me pregnant. I was sent away because I was pregnant and I had to live in an all girls home where people constantly threatened my child’s life (other girls living there) as well as staff favoriting certain girls. Favorites got special privileges like snacks allowed to be in their room, coddling, they got to yo anywhere and get anything they wanted meanwhile others were forced to follow a prison like schedule. If you didn’t feel well enough you weren’t allowed to be included in anything, not even a group meal, because they would refuse to come get you or check in on you. They weren’t easy on me regardless of me being a pregnant 15 year old. After I got out I had a few months left til I delivered I found out the time I was away, the guy who had groomed me was cheating on me. He was kissing and sleeping with girls younger and older. It didn’t matter who it was. He blamed me and manipulated me into believing it was my fault. (Even now that I’m self aware I did nothing wrong, I still have a hard time accepting that and try to justify what happened to me by saying I was obsessive or clingy or whatever, I just search for ways to justify his actions even tho he was a grown adult and knew what he was doing and the power dynamic at play) After I gave birth I wanted to forgive him and move past it. I was willing to do anything. I eventually got introduced to acid and shrooms and started getting drunk a lot. I went down a rabbit hole of darkness where I kept getting high and asking him when we would trip next because it made me feel powerful and in control, it was fun. It didn’t feel good tbh, in fact sometimes I’d trip and get intense headaches, but I did it over and over again because I couldn’t help dealing with being sober. The intense pain he was putting me through, psychologically and... then it became physically too. He started hitting me, choking me, eventually I just started sleeping wi th him even though I didn’t want to because I couldnt bare the thought of him going to another girl. I lost myself over a man because I was starved of that love and care. I thought he was going to protect me and be different.(previously to this, I was molested by my older brother and my mother told me to lie to police about it causing my eldest brother to spit on me and not believe my story. I lied about it but then a couple years later, it popped back up and police removed my brother from the home and he admitted to having molested me, was put on probation and such and I wasn’t coping well at all at the time.) I couldn’t handle change or accept the fact that the person I loved wasn’t who he had painted himself to be. Even though we had good times together, even tho he said “sorry”, he wasn’t really going to change. He didn’t love me. And that I couldn’t fix him. This went on for months and months... Over time, I lost my mind. My friends started to say “you look like you have Stockholm syndrome.” Or “you’re kind of getting annoying, all you do is cry about him.” I felt alone, completely alone. Of course there were this handful that would keep reaching out to me but I thought to myself, “Everyone who I love ends up leaving me, so what’s the point of getting help anymore? What’s the point of trying?” I wanted to give up. I started pushing my child into my mother to raise her. I completely lost control. I started to take it out on others. I sunk my teeth into other people’s lives and Facebook posts because I couldn’t deal with my own reality. I started problems with anybody. I made fun of whoever. And if anyone crossed me or made me feel the wrong way at all, I was dragging them down with me. I lost my very one again. One by one, they all saw me as this disgusting person and left. At that point, no matter what proof I had of my story, or how long I had been open about it or had been providing evidence of my allegations, I lost my credibility and so I became an even bigger target. With him going in and out of my life, my family being broken and feeling unloved, as well as people my age knowing who I am, calling me a liar, threatening to hurt/kill me, telling me I deserved to abused, I wanted to kill myself. For a long fucking time I wanted to kill myself. Many people knew what was happening. So many people literally watched him push me, watched him hit me and make my mouth bleed, watched him jump on me for simply grabbing his phone, they sat there and told me I deserved it over some words and ignored it because i had grown into a hateful person because of my pain. Some even went as far as to put pictures of my daughter next to a monkey (because she is black) and said they would abandon her too if they were her father.... This is my story of how I was groomed. It only just recently ended. And I’m still scared of what could happen. I only got away a month ago and blocked him. I’m scared to even go outside. I’m scared he’ll take my baby away. I stopped doing drugs and I’m seeking for a therapist. Also a year ago I straightened up when it came to being a mother, I still struggle with getting out of bed and stuff most days but that’s just depression and I push through it because she saved my life and I love her so much. I’d do anything for my child. This trauma will stick with me for the rest of my life but I want to heal and move on. It’s only been a month but I’m ready. He can’t hurt me or my baby anymore. Update: Please feel free to contact me via Instagram if you’d like, I’m always up for new friends @pickle._.head Also I’m open to any questions anybody may have as well about my story. Thank you for reading! 💜
truly sorry you've had to go through such horrific experiences, most people will never know even half of the pain you must've felt throughout your life. I'm just a stranger online but I'm proud of you for finally choosing yourself and yiur child, choosing life. It's far from easy but I believe in you, you can do it, you can heal❤
@@sleepingrosess thank you so much for reading the massive paragraph I wrote haha. But I am doing so so much better and I’m thriving. I am in a very healthy and happy relationship with a man who I trust completely. And even as a stranger, you’ve shown me kindness and your words help and hold more meaning and weight than you can ever imagine. You truly are an amazing person. Thank you so much. 💜 I hope you stay safe and all blessings in your future are sent to your present. ✨
@@CiinaBunnii well i'm very happy to hear that, I hope you have finally found someone who truly makes you happy and is deserving of your love and time! Sending you all my love and support, I hope life treats you more kindly from now on💓
So sorry for what you had to go through. You’re so brave and incredible. I hope life will treat you better from now on. I wish you happiness, luck, success - everything you deserve.
im so so sorry you had to experience this. sometimes the world is a very cruel place i sincearly hope things are better for you now. you are in my prayers
I always think about the quote from the movie spotlight. It takes a village to raise children, but it also takes a village to abuse one. I think this applies to women + domestic abuse too
The actresses in this scene (Ginnifer Goodwin and Annaleigh Tipton) did SUCH a good job, especially when Ralph comes to the door and puts his hand on Mary’s neck/shoulder. Beth Ann’s glances to how the contact clearly made Mary flinch and the sense of immediate understand of the danger there that you get from the way her posture and tone of voice changes. It’s really well done, but the wavering “smile” that Mary has (because she realizes Beth Ann noticed her fear) is chilling as hell and so well done. The way it falls for a second before she puts it on again? so scary and so accurate. This is a really well depicted scene of how women recognize the smaller signs of being in abusive relationships.
My ex could be charming too. I met him after a tough couple of years where I had lost my self-confidence and he saw that. He took advantage of it and basically broke me without me noticing it. Little by little he convinced me that I was unworthy of love, dumb, uninteresting etc. He isolated me from my friends and became my only "person". After 2 years the psychological abuse became physical abuse. One day he shoved me so hard into a wall it practically knocked me unconscious. It was on the street at night. A woman saw it and immediately threatened to call the police and offered me to come to her place. I will never forget her kindness.
My family tried to instill in me "stay out of other people's business. " I guess they didn't start early enough, because if I see something wrong, I have to say something. Do something. Yeah, it might get me hurt, and I know plenty of abusers/shitty people dont like me because I call them out on their bullshit. They dont like women who dont take shit lying down, and dont just look away when their friends or themselves are abused.
Omg! Same!...one time my neighbors where fighting and it sounded like the man was seriously gonna kill his wife. I called the police and when my dad found out he fkn screamed at my face. He told me it wasn't my business and I should had just ignored it. Little does he know I was in an extremely abusive relationship and I can't tolerate that kind of abuse.
I just had the biggest epiphany after watching this. My father was mentally (and sometimes physically) abusing my mum (from 15 he started to treat me the same) until he moved out when I was in my twenties. My father’s relatives, his mother and sister, knew about what was going on. They had the same experience in their family with an alcoholic father. But they never spoke with us on this matter. Never offered any type of help. And yet they kept telling me that they love me that they’d do anything for me. And I, all the time, felt like I wasn’t welcomed. Guess I know the reason why. My relatives just looked the other way.
What a fantastic show! And can we please appreciate that during this season Beth En saved not only herself but THREE other women - Mary, April and April's daughter, Elsie.
My mother tried to help my aunt. Went to the police and it didnt turn out well. 6 years later everyone blames her for calling the police. I have learned my lesson. I might help strangers but not family. I'm extremely sorry for the people in the comments. May someone never go through the pain but we suffered the consequences alot. That's why many people refuse to help.
Many of us have by thinking "it's not my business". At least you're mature and honest enough to admit it. Admitting our faults is a start to solving problems.
@Soul D Because abuse isn’t that easy. People (cough cough like you) will cut you out just for being abused. Trauma isn’t logical. It’s harder to “just leave” than people like you think and the victim-blaming is debilitating, and keeps us from getting help. Compassion is free ❤️ Your attitude is fatal.
I don’t have much hate in my heart, except for those kind of people. I was bullied throughout high school but my “friends” chose to ignore it every time I brought it up. They even went as far as to still talk to the girl who tormented me because they thought they were being “mature” by minding their own business. Trust me when I say what goes around comes around, and those people will be in your exact shoes some day
The man portrayed in the clip, and many men like him, are the reason the world has gone nuts!!! Treating women like property has what has caused the confusion we see in family courts; the way men are "woke" and staying away from women and long term relationships...began many years ago when the house wife was treated like crap.
I really don't think it's "wokeness". Men have been like this...since Adam accused Eve of giving him eat from the Tree of knowledge. It has been proven time and time again that men actually do not have the capacity to love women. They can only love the benefits they get from having women around them (and that's manipulation, not love).
"I hate people who look the other way." That sentence hurts so much. I went through a lot of bullying, SA, and abuse in school. It caused a lot of trauma. What stuck with me wasn't so much the acts themselves, though they were bad. The worst parts were all the moments people, including adults, saw something happening and either turned and walked away, completely ignored what was going on, or gaslit and blamed me for being assaulted. That caused the most harm in ways I am still dealing with decades later. They are worse than the people who hurt me.
I’m not sure if this comment will get buried but for the people who don’t look away: get help. That can mean calling a crisis line or an abuse shelter in your area. It call also mean inviting your neighbour over for dinner and listening to them. So many abusers trap their victims with power or isolation. You can be there for someone. To everyone sharing their stories in the comments: thank you, stay strong.
As a child , I thought abuse was only in movies . Abusers aren’t always easy to spot . Just like oh the clip , they are charming . I dated a guy who was very handsome and young . He was very sweet at first . When you meet him , you never know he was abusive . As time goes by , I got to know his true nature .
I'm the kind of person who finds it nearly impossible to look the other way, if not actually impossible (to my detriment, because some situations are very dangerous). Can't tell you the number of times I've gotten involved or called the cops due to either clear or suspected abuse. People looked away when I went through it as a kid, and I promised myself that I would never, ever be that person for anyone else - and I've never been. Not as a child, not as an adult. If you see something, do something (but be safe). What if it were you or someone you loved?
My parent's families only acted like they cared about our dad hitting us when we asked them directly for help. I think to make themselves look good. Otherwise they were like "it's not our business" 🙄
My ex cornered me in his parents bathroom one morning before we were leaving for work. His mother HEARD him cursing me and then slamming me into the tub and when he started kicking me and beating me so badly I thought it was the day I died. All she did was tell him to keep it down, other people are tryin to get ready. Him and her both left and I thought it was only me there so I started trying to get up when I felt someone helping me. It was his dad... just in tears, asking why I never told him and how he can't believe he missed it.... and then I saw anger bc he realized his wife had known and she hadn't stopped him. That was the day I finally managed to get out; his dad helped me pack and when my ex came home and realized I was gone, told him if he tried to come after me, he'd shoot him himself. I will never forget that mam, I know he saved my life... his mom would have always pretended it was nothing; don't ever look the other way or allow it.... I think that makes someone worse than the person who is actually doing it, if that makes sense
Yes it makes sense. My grandfather raped me and I asked help from my grandma who choosed to turn the other way. I can't hate the devil for being himself but I can hate her for being weak and cruel. She lives down the street, old, needing a helping hand but I can not be that for her. She can die and rot alone, I don't care and that is very sad. I feel tainted from what I can not forgive.
@@Nyuffykah and isn't that the worst part of it... knowing you did nothing wrong but you feel all this anger and resentment that almost feels as if it eats you inside out and takes away part of the good and empathy you had. My ex died when he drove a motorcycle over the side of this curve up the mountain... and I actually had the thought of I hope it hurt half as much as what he did to me and that he suffered... and I hoped it made his mother hurt for the rest of her life like it hurt that day she allowed him to almost kill me. And it horrified me to know I thought that bc I never was that kinda person. I am so sorry you had to experience what happened to you and then had ur grandma just act like u never told her... and I hope you did find someone who listened and you were able to find a way to process and heal (as much as anyone really ever can). Good vibes and a hug to you.
THIS ONE IS KINDA HARD. FOR ME TO WATCH AS I WAS A WIFE IN THE 60’s and I was horrible abused. After 18 years I did divorce. He left me no choice so I did what I had to do. Took my 3 kids and I left him. I was penniless because back then women didn’t sue for half and he had money . He was a supervisor for an oil company. I made it and life was so much better. Now I council women my age and write books for my hobby. Life is good. Thank you for your wonderful work and the great cast of actors.
I have made a lot of mistakes in my life, but one thing I will never regret is when a woman I don't know ran up to me on the street begging for help I stayed right there in between her and her boyfriend (who had just physically assaulted her and then stolen her phone) until we found someone else who could get her to her parents' house safely. I don't know what happened to her, but I gave her the phone number of an acquaintance who worked at a women's shelter and told her to give them a call when she was ready. I still think about her. I hope she's okay.
My dad used to beat the hell out of us, and then we'd get in the car and go to church. He was a deacon and everyone always said what a great man he was. When he died, his funeral procession drove down main street (small Southern town, everyone knew everyone) and it was lined with people paying their respects. I looked at my mom and said "When did we become the Kennedys?" So yes, abusers have double lives and can fool everyone.
For all my sisters: "Why Does He Do That" By Lundy Bancroft and "Should I Stay Or Should I Go" Lundy Bancroft and "When Dad Hurts Mom" Lundy Bancroft and "The Batterer As Parent" Lundy Bancroft and "The Joyous Recovery" Lundy Bancroft and "Women Who Love Too Much" Robin Norwood and "When Love Hurts" Jill Corey and Karen McAndless-Davis and "How He Gets Into Her Head" by Don Hennesy and "See What You Made Me Do" by Jess Hill and "No Visible Bruises" by Rachel Snyder and "Invisible Women" by Carolina Perez and "Backlash" by Susan Faludi and "Men Who Hate Women" by Laura Bates and "Caliban and the Witch" by Silvia Federici and "Men Explain Things To Me" by Rebecca Solnit and "The Second Sex" by Simone de Beauvoir and "The Creation Of Patriarchy" by Gerda Lerner You must read these and believe me you are going to look back and say "I shouldn't have put off reading these, I wished I read them back then" or "I don't want to read them" or "I have time so I'll postpone/procrastinate" I know that plenty will se this and think "it won't happen to me" "I don't need it" "it's an uncomfortable and sensitive matter and I don't like to think about it" "none of us need it because we are in the 21st century" "it doesn't happen to women like me so I won't be victimised since I won't be at fault inviting those kind of situations and it only happens to those kind of women/girls, not me" "this is victim mentality" "fear mongering" "they don't have real problems so they invent some" "we are in the West so we don't need it" "it's in the past" "it's embarrassing" "it's my fault I should've known better" and etc but that's not true. Everyone should read or listen to these books and I wish every girl learned about these books so that they could save themselves if needed and didn't have to go through those experiences and that it was mandatory for girls in their 12th year of life read these in order to prepare and protect and save themselves"
This reminds me of how there’s a business of “night moving” in Japan, where someone is hired to get a victim of abuse out of their environment and make them “disappear.” It’s compelling to think that in some places that exists.
I thought about that when I heard about the man who killed him family in Utah … how brave of the wife to finally file for divorce and how those services are definitely needed.
Ginnifer is so good in these period roles. She molds her voice very appropriately to these kinds of roles which is something that many actors forget to do. It takes more than a costume and a hairdo to come across as a 50s housewife
I'm a nurse and we had a woman who was being taken by her boyfriend. To a lake. Where he cut her throat open. And tried to drown her. She was obviously an emergency and I cannot remember how she got out there but after a long surgery she was stabilized. The next morning she asked me if I had paper towels. Her shoes were all soaked. I don't know what happened to her ex, didn't feel it would be right to ask. She has a 5 year old son.
People look the other way all the time. Animal abuse, child abuse, spousal abuse, elder abuse. If it’s an inconvenience to them a lot of people shut up. My mother was a very good person and a bad mother, it’s 2 very different things. It wasn’t until after her funeral people who were her friends and neighbors came up to me to say we thought of saying to your mother she was neglecting you. I just held my tongue. My mother knew I was being sexually abused by a family member, I told her when I was 14 and we went back to their house repeatedly. It was a wake up call she didn’t care. Add in I’m adopted and years later I’m simply glad they aren’t my family. They’re heinous. But that neighbors and friends felt in their gut something was wrong but they didn’t say anything-that hurt too.
i am very sorry to all the people in the comments who are victims and in no way do i want to dismiss their suffering, but most people don’t look the other way out of malice. they often want to believe that they’re wrong (and things like acusing someone of abuse is a very heavy thing that needs to be based on true recollected evidence) or sometimes they’re just plain scared to do something (what could the bad person do to them?) or don’t even know what to do (battered women often stay even when shown a way out because it’s always hard to leave abuse). so i get that of course one would hate not having been helped, but truly it cannot be blamed on the people who, for any reason, looked away. it’s often a very hard thing to step up and help, despite how much we wish it were easy for us to do
It’s not blaming but I personally believe that if there signs, it’s the most people can get. “Evidence” is not easy to find. It’s not like the abuser is out here screaming that their guilty. That is why, it is much better and a basic human obligation that when it comes to abuse (especially involving heterosexual relationships that are established on historical heteronormative toxic standards) between couples especially, it is better to assume and ask, investigating is not blaming. It is not the final say. If it turns that the person is not guilty, they have lost nothing literally. But if they are, how many years of abuse did people allow because they weren’t sure or they were scared. All my life I have refused to look away. Even bullies must be put in place. Abusers, if suspected, should be investigated. Period.
I see a lot of comments here that sadly show how some people can fail at helping and their behavior is down right disgusting and dismissive of ones suffering :( I am so sorry for all of you. I just wanted to a leave a comment with a bit of a more “positive” scenario outcome of a similar situation. My moms neighbor wanted to kill his wife and he was a drunk cop. She came to our house and my mother hid her. The guy came to ask her for her pointed the gun at my mother, my mom refused and hid behind a brick concrete square pole that was under our second floor balcony, because he starred shooting. My mom did not give up the lady. The other man got arrested. There’s good people too. Many bad ones, more than we need or can handle, but there’s good ones too
This just made me want to watch the show. I was iffy on it, but I need to see it for sure. And to the women in the comments telling their stories, I’m glad you made it out and are safe, and I’m sorry you weren’t helped sooner
My dad was very abusive to my mom and us for years. The entire street knew because families had lived there for generations. Every single day of him shouting for one thing or the other, to the point where him and his mother starved my pregnant mom and refused to give food to my sister as a baby. No one did anything and many told us we were even lucky to have a very educated father. It's such a common thing in India. Years later, i still cannot stand the people on that street who looked on and did nothing, even isolating us. Some even refused to let us kids play with their children. I'll never forget learning how cruel indifference can be at such a young age.
As someone who has tried to help these type of women, it hasn't ended well. When trying to help them, these women itself have defended and gone back to the abusive partners and told me to mind my own business. SO yea ppl may look the other way, because their not sure of the outcome or situation. But in case of family members, THATS CRIMINAL
I guess the hypocrisy here is that the woman who says, "I hate people who look the other way" is the same person who knows whats going on with that abused woman and isn't doing shit about it lol
My mother went through the same thing. When my father put my mother in the hospital and broke her nose my uncle( my dad’s older brother) told my mother not to report it to the police or she would loose me. He told her he would make sure I would never see her again. She dealt with this for another 10 years. She left him and never looked back. He’s bitter and we are free and happy. Best decision my mother could have made. I love her for it.
We had a good friend who wore layers of makeup for years. She was even a Mary Kay distributor. It took about 7 or 8 years for us to tumble to the fact that she was being abused by this guy. She was that good at covering things up. I know better now especially when. I see a woman wearing lots of makeup every day.
I've been abused for 2 years and my neighbors knew and no one would help me, I got my phone smashed so I couldn't call the police. It's really depressing to know that people are aware that you are getting battered and look the other way.
One of the best things my father ever told me, was when he asked my mother to marry him she said..."Yes, I'll marry you but let me tell you one thing. We're Equal. None of that shit that you're better than me just because you're a man". And that was that. Married 50 years and still in love.
I remember my dad was beating my mom in front of me, when I was 8. Since then all my feelings to him disappeared. They divorced, but I can't forgive my grandmother (the mother's mother!) for pushing me into seeing him.
This isn’t the same situation but in middle school I was in a dark place and looked up ways to unalive myself at school. Apparently someone behind me saw and told the teacher who then told me counselor who brought me to her office. I still don’t know who it was to this day but whoever did thank you for not looking away.
"I hate people who look the other way."
Preach. This is nice. Feels less lonely to know you're not the only one feeling that way.
Hugs to you. I also grew up in a family like that, what hurts more is that my relatives are literally just my neighbors. They never interfered.
Watch Promising Young Woman for another movie with that saying
A woman on here commented about her sister who's in an abusive relationship and how the kids are basically being abused as well. I told her to call cps before it gets worse and first she asked if I have done it before, I said I have and she retaliated by saying she bet I never really have and blah blah blah. Basically trying to justify not doing anything.
@@elisejackson2854 Yes, it's on brand with denial, unfortunately common. As frustrating as the bystander effect. By the way, I know you didn't mean anything by it but please don't reply with situations like these below my comment, obviously I'd rather avoid being reminded of real life abusers getting away with their shit. Thanks for understanding
Yeah right. Next you'll be complaining about people who stick their noses in where they don't belong. I close my eyes. You married him. Your problem. You WONT LEAVE. What can ANYONE do? Nothing
My ex stabbed me in the thigh while we were parked in a store parking lot and I kept banging on the window for help (the passenger side door was broken) and the guy next to us looked at me then just drove off. Then my ex started driving away because I was screaming and I crawled to the back of the van, opened the back door and jumped out. Then I went up to this woman crying and screaming for help that I’d been stabbed and she looked at me like I was lying (I was wearing black pants and the blood hadn’t dripped to the ground at that point) then said “if you were stabbed then how were you able to jump out of that car and why didn’t you call the police??” I was crying so bad and my ex came up next to me saying “I’m sorry she’s off her meds. I’m going to just take her home” but the store clerk came and said he saw me jump out of the car on camera and called the police then the police show up and my ex was saying “she’s just crazy. I’ve been trying to leave her for months but just can’t get rid of her. She abuses me all the time.. blah blah blah” it was super embarrassing for me and i just wanted to go home. The mental and physical pain I felt that day still stays with me (oh and I have a giant scar as a daily reminder that people are shit)
Edit: btw...yes he did go back to prison for anyone who’s wondering
I’m so sorry you went through that💙 I hope he suffers. Wishing you all the best hun.
Oh my that’s horrific. Hope everything is super fine now. Stay safe
"back" to prison, Jesus Christ. 🙄
Man, that's terrible
I’m so sorry you went through that and that those people were absolute scumbags!
My mom got off the phone with my aunt and didn't hang up. My aunt heard my mom screaming, cussing, beating me and me crying. She told me she heard her and she did nothing. I'd rather she never said anything. My whole family knew and did nothing when I came to 4th of July in long pants and long sleeves. Don't look away. Do the difficult thing because it's right
Are you okay now?
The same happened to me, I used to beg my grandma not to let me leave with my mother.
The school got involved because of the bite marks.
@@micaelaalripa1478 Damn...wtf.
I'm so sorry. That was so wrong.
wat are u supposed to do in a situation like this?
I called the police on my own mother for abusing my lil brother. Hardest thing I ever had to do.
That’s a very brave thing of you to do. I can’t imagine how hard that must have been and the mixed feelings you must have been feeling. Was he okay afterwards?
I put up with my mother's abusive ex for over a year before I did something. They'd fight and I'd be up all night prying that man who was at least 3 times my size off of my mother, hoping and praying that that night wouldn't be hers or my last. Then there'd be a good day where everything went back to normal. But then it would happen again. It wasn't until I was sitting in health class in 8th grade listening to the teacher talk about the cycle of abuse that I realized that it wasn't ever going to get better. I was also getting worried as he snapped more frequently and threatened our lives more often. He started taking our phones so we had no communication with anyone. Once he threw our phones in at least 2 feet of snow. We spent an hour searching at 4 am in shorts, a t-shirt, and no socks or shoes. He broke a few phones too. We lived in the country and the nearest place was a 30 minute walk. For how big he was I wouldn't have been able to run far enough before he caught me. I tried to get out of the house once and he grabbed me by the back of the shirt before I could unlock the front door and threw me across the living room and into the dining table. Once I made it to the neighbors house to knock but they didn't answer and I was dragged back. I went to school normally and I think only my school counselor realized there was something wrong but that was only a few weeks before I got us out of there. The only reason I did was because I was worried about him hurting my younger siblings. I had my uncle and dad pick us up before telling them the full truth. We had told my dad and his side of the family and my mom's side that they fought a lot. We never talked about the abuse. My mom went to jail for a year after that for something that happened with her other ex and we lived with our aunt and uncle for a year. We live with our father now. He's honestly a pretty lousy parent but he missed a lot of our lives because of my mother and him splitting up when I was in 3rd grade. We only got to see him for some weekends and summer. All that went down when I was 13 going on 14 and I just turned 16. It was definitely a long road but speaking up was the right decision. I think most of the time speaking up is the ONLY decision. The only decision to make it stop at least. I'm sorry about your experience. I hope you and your brother are doing well now.
@@diyak2182 no unfortunately. In and out of Juvie til he was 18.. Not doing much better not at 21...
You’re just brave so brave.....
@Gay Bowzer Thank you. It was really hard to go through but it's made me who I am. I just hope sharing my story with others can help people.
The look she gets @1:15 , when he places his hand on her shoulder. I thought she knew right away.
that’s the look of ‘are you- is he- girl do you need help???’
She did know, that’s the point. She chose to brush it off and look the other way,
@@MicheleBele1220 she didn’t brush it off she just wasn’t sure she didn’t want to judge when she just met them hit it felt off to her which is why she stuttered a bit on her words talking to them and she looked back when walking away
@@heavenlee6464 wtf are you talking about lmfao she realizes what’s going on then walks away you’re confused
@@MicheleBele1220 she didn’t realize anything she thought of what could be gong on which is why she didn’t say anything cause she wasn’t sure cause when he came to the door in her words “ he seemed so charming” she didn’t know he hit her she thought he did but what can she say when she just met them and knows nothing about them which is also why she was spacing out thinking with the other girl and she told her about it
As my mother always said: death grip on the shoulder. Her abusive ex husband did it in every photo they took together, even in their wedding photos. It hurts because it's right on a pressure point, but it appears like a normal, endearing squeeze of the shoulder. I know because he'd do it to me, too.
Yep, so then they can hurt you right infront of people. And if you dare to pull away and react in pain they'll just start something like, "What's wrong with you? You're always whining and complaining etc." Which, (gaslighting) makes you look and feel crazy.
I saw it with a couple two years ago he wouldn't even let the woman speak had to tell him at a point to let the woman speak and stop interrupting our conversation as I wanted to hear what she was saying and I wasn't addressing him. Of course he got loud, boisterous and annoying as if I cared I contonuhed to ignore him.
Yep, typical sign of abuse is a hand somewhere on the body. Typically innocuous seeming, it's a way of constantly reminding the victim of their presence. I remember reading about a girl who's mom forced her to pretend to be sick for attention and one of the ways she controlled her was to keep a hand somewhere on her that would squeeze when she wanted her daughter to do or say something
THIS
Me too … oh :/
I was involved in an incident when my daughter was five, I told her to run to our neighbors apartment and tell them to call 911. I know my neighbors had to of heard me screaming for help and things being slammed and thrown but that woman told my daughter she needed to go back home. I don't hold hate in my heart for many people but I have hate for that woman and people like her that turn a blind eye, I would never turn a baby away that came to my door. I honestly can't wrap my head around it, regardless of whether a child was involved or not, just how can people not feel the need to help someone?
I've been the one to make that call for my neighbor ladies! If we had been neighbors, you could've counted on me❤...and my aluminum baseball bat!
Oh no darling. Never that. I’m so glad you’re able to tell about it, and I pray you and your baby are okay.
I hope you'll find this as sort of a consolation but not everyone is like your neighbor. There are others who will help, like me and the others in the comments. I hope you and your daughter are doing ok.
Sounds like a selfish desire to not have their lives disrupted in any way. Despicable really.
I think it has to do with people who use women and children as a ploy to lure them to danger
I hate people who look the other way.I wish the successful men who surrounded and laughed with my father--with drinks in their hands--did not look the other way, either. Now, I know why. Women and children are props and pieces used in the power play.
Male children are just little men waiting to happen. Women are more than that, and I’m sure that little boys can recognize that. There are some men who just don’t deserve the Compnay of women or the joy of children. But don’t lump all men together. The men who turned the other Way were cowards. Scared of losing their jobs, and afraid of being wrong, or worse, afraid of doing what’s right only for the woman being beat to stay beside the abuser. Then what was his meddling for? You know what I mean? I know plenty of women who have told me they are being abused and I tell them to leave, but they say “I just cant.” It’s not that they can’t they just don’t want to.
@@iriskeniafernandez some women are afraid to “leave” because a lot of women have gotten killed by their exes for breaking up with them. i think they’d rather stay because they’d rather be beaten than be dead (although unfortunately some have been beaten to death too). fortunately too there are women that get help from getting restraining orders and support from their friends and family that didn’t look the other way ❤️
@@yoggers2121 that’s why we have to be supportive of women to give them as safe network to empower them. No one wants to be abused. And it’s no ones fault when someone showed to abuse them.
@@applestrudeldoo7645 preach man preach !!! 🙌
@@iriskeniafernandez sometimes these women don't have the backbone to leave. They don't want to leave a comfortable lifestyle or are too used to their daily routine to want to make a massive upheaval in their lives. It's very silly to stay with an abuser, it will only end badly. It's up to them to leave as they could disappear and go far away where their abuser can't find them. There are ways and means but you have to be brave and just do it.
"He came to the door and he was charming" ironic cause of her role in another show
Ouat
I love this
Once upona time🥰
Prince Charming 😭
Once upon a timeeeeeee
I 1000% agree i hate people turning the other way when they someone getting abused. Especially family members that knows what was going on but ignore it for their own sake even so far letting kids get abused and traumatized
Isn't this around the 50s or something? There was no way of reporting it and actually getting help
@@mewesquirrel6720 they still had police and child services in the 50s.
They could also just not tolerate the behavior and help remove the loved one from the house.
@@SjofnBM1989 no they didn't, my grandmother never mentioned child services. I mean their were police officers who took kids from their homes and put them in foster homes(which weren't safe at the time or now). I think most things that were supposedly helpful back then had some bad apples
Sure you could report things, but most of the time the authorities would talk to the abuser who would give them a story and the police would just believe him and assume the person abused was actually at fault. Also this idea you just need to toughen up and not be such a sissy about the husband slapping you a couple of times. Hitting was seen as a healthy form of discipline. Views on this are totally different today. Remember this is a movie assuming how two women would be talking in the 1950s, or more accurately hoping they would be talking.
@@mewesquirrel6720 this happens everyday. Many church members knew my parents were starving and hitting me and didn't do jackshit.
Just told me my parents loved me and just wanted what was best for me, and also lamented that their kids weren't as smart or well behaved as me.
I'd say MOST people look the other way, even today.
Honored this was randomly recommended
Same here
same, now i need to see the whole film
Me too, which movie is this?
I don’t even know what this is lol 😂
@@fernandohernandez6579 is a one season series called Why Women Kill
That front door is nice.
I really like the wall.
It's the garden for me
Greene and Greene styling if you're interested
I loved how her eyeshadow matched her cardigan.
it’s the car at the back for me
I was abused by my ex stepdad for 12 years and my mom knew. She only left him when she decided she was unhappy in the marriage, not for me.
*same*
I'm really sorry for both of you
Oh my god.
If you get a chance search a video called self esteem training for Ugly Girls. She talks about handling mothers like her!!
So sorry that happened to you. Pray that you will find healing
The woman in pink is snow white from once upon a time
Jennifer Goodwin, she's awesome.
@@monicaf5906 Ginnifer Goodwin, yes I 100% agree!!
Yes I recognized it
THANK YOU!! It was bothering me that I couldn’t remember where she was from
Oddly as soon as I saw her face I said "That looks like Swans mom"
Even my friends told me:
„You are too sensitive.“
„He loves you.“
„ You are not used to being in a relationship because You were single for such a long time and thats why you are too hard on him.“
„He loves you but he can’t show it.“
„You look so beautiful together.“
„He is going through alot
„You need to understand him.“
„Give it time. He will get better.“
But he was a narcissist.
He abused me to a point where I had two nervous breakdowns and thought about killing myself. Three years have past since I broke up with him and I still can’t trust anyone.
I am a man.
I'm so sorry you went through this. I hope you can heal ... and please get a better support system. True friends don't minimize or downplay your pain. And also thank you for sharing your story. It's important to keep in mind that anyone can be a victim of abuse and we need to protect or female and male loved ones.
I hope you're doing better now
Please do soul retrievals. You can find out a out them here on youtube. This will help yoi feel more yourself.❤ Hugs❤
how did u get out? r u looking for a roommate?
People always tell you the positives, your gut knows best.
"He's not the type to beat her" , gurl, you've seen him 30 seconds, how do YOU know?
I guess back then abuse was associated with poverty, having a nice house, meant you were doing good career wise .. and you're happy... happy people dont abuse their family. .... but they dont know...
Mostly to create a counterpoint for the other lady to explain what matters
Sometimes people will create lousy excuses because it’s hard for them to comprehend such awful things. I think she didn’t want it to be true, but alas it was :(
Woman back then never get education about red flag
She very realistic for me
Isn't that her character? Isn't she supposed to be naive?
I was once sitting at a stoplight next to a couple. The lady was crying and saying “call the police, he hit me!” The guy was laughing and shaking his head. I got their license plate and called the police. The way I see it-if she needed help they were coming. If she didn’t need help she would learn an important lesson.
Wow. Good call.
When I told my aunt that her son was sexually assaulting me, she told my parents and what did my parents do? Blame me for having the body of a female. I don't like this body and I wish I wasn't born in it. It's no something I can change and yet, the offender was protected and I was blamed. It's been two years since then and I still see him every time I visit. Because of that, I purposely didn't tell anyone the little detail that he had been doing it since I was seven. Y'all internet folks are the only ones that know. Hehe 😅✌🏻
Gosh I’m so sorry, please stay strong and always defend yourself no matter what or how you act, us women need to start speaking up, and if it was me I would totally get revenge like throw hard rock at him or something, and for you to his face and act like everything is okay, like no that’s not fair and shame to your parents for not standing up to you.
Jesus christ, hope you're okay now.
Don't hate ur body. It is not ur fault. Or ur body's. If anyone is at fault it is ur parents and ur aunt's son. If i were u, i would get my revenge at some point
I am so sorry. Please hang in there.
Please please please tell someone. Clearly someone besides your family because they seem to be human garbage but he needs to be dealt with. If he's done it to you then it's unlikely he hasn't/won't do it to someone else.
I'm the type of person to do something to help when I see or hear something. It has brought on bad blood from some people but I've never once regret the choice to do something because I'd rather answer to myself then others
You are more of a man than most men I've known as a young girl or adult, romantically or patonically. What does that say about society or men? Or the women who benefit or fear from them? I don't know. I just know that the world is blessed to have women like you. Protect yourself, please. I wish you well. So many women and girls suffering in worst spots than I've been in. God bless you for not being afraid like everyone else I've known.
@@pennypenny376 thank you so much, I'm really happy to help. Even if it's just the words I share. I realized from a very young age that I wanted to be true to myself. When I was 5 I was molested by a relative and when I told my mom a bunch of other girls came forward. Sometimes it only takes one person to speak up, for others to find their courage to do the same. I'm not saying it's easy(some of my relatives won't speak to me to this day because they feel I destroyed the family) but as long as we stay true to what we feel is right at the time(everyone's perception of right may be different and/or changes all the time) we can live with our choice. You've found the strength and courage to see past your pain and empathise with those around, thank you for standing with others. Blessings and take care❤.
i have a question which i hope isnt prying and doesnt make u feel uncomfortable !
do u ever feel like ur in danger when u stand up for someone?
@@aquafinner1505 yes. I have felt in danger many times but I still do it because I want to be true to myself. I've had people threaten me before and even attack me for standing up for others but I know who I want to be. I would rather be true to myself and take a risk then lie to myself and live in regret. In regards to prying there is no harm in asking, the worst I can say is no😁
@@AryonaSamoto You are more helpful than you know. Thank you for this, I'm really glad we had this exchange. I know what's it's like to be molested so young, too. My outcome was not as favorable as yours (no one came forward or stood with me in any way, especially the adults). Not saying you didn't feel any consequence (which totally sucks). I think I still have heart, but something like that really destroyed my confidence until I realized it. You are really awesome
People need to open their eyes and care more for people around them.
I myself was severely abused by a parent for years. I was beaten with different objects, strangled, showered/burned with hot water and many other things daily. I showed up at school with bruises and (looking back) the stupidest cover-up stories. My parent was even fined for child abuse, but no one talked to me or "saved" me. This only stopped when I went to childrens protective services myself at 15.
The years that followed I was confronted by teachers, neighbors, coaches, family and so on telling me they all knew what was happening and they were so concerned and wondered how I turned out. After awhile this only made me very angry because I wondered how so many people could look the other way when they were "so" concerned.
You made a great choice I can’t believe how courageous you’ve been 💕💕
People just hope you would figure a way out without actually helping, they are too focused on their own lil lives. Shame on those forsaking a child’s cry for help
@Mike Litoris dude not all teens are dummies who don't know shit about mental help. Just because one person seeks help later doesn't mean others couldn't have recommended it. Lately I've seen that they're currently trying to take away the stigma against mental health and getting help. I myself has known I needed mental help since middle school and got it at 19 because I had to literally call because my mum wouldn't bother.
Omg! Wtf do you mean 'they knew'? What's the point of telling you after the fact? Man what a betrayal.
I’m so so sorry that happened to you 🙏
Can we talk about how she was talking to her husband's mistress about her husband and she was still thinking about a new neighbor. How many people would care that much about basically a stranger?
that's a good point
But the mistress isn't at fault because she never knew that her lover was a married man. But beth ann is really wise to separate the right from the wrong and keep her cool over all the matters till the end. It just shows what a superior character she is.
@@gowrishreevalli9495 She knew Rob was married though.
@@gowrishreevalli9495 she did know.
She's probably heard it too many times
Such a powerful statement
When I was around 11/12 there was a middle aged couple and their older daughters who lived with us. The husband was always so friendly with me, he'd always greet me and on days I may have forgotten my house keys and was locked out after school he would always come out to ask if I needed to use his phone, if I wanted something to drink while I waited, etc. The wife and daughters were more reserved. They lived next to us for years until I noticed he wasn't there anymore and I was seeing those women outside a lot more than I previously did. It turns out that he had been abusing his wife and she had finally had enough and kicked him out. I remember being so shocked because "He was so /nice/." I couldn't wrap my head around how the man who was so kind with me, some random kid from next door, could inflict that trauma on his own family. The point is, anyone could be 'The type'. It really doesn't matter how nice or intelligent or charming they come across as.
We know what we have to do poison the jello salad
goodbye earl.
His fate in the show is actually very crazy, I don't want to spoil it but let's just say he did not get good things coming to him lol.
I was the whistle-blower in my family. I exposed the abuse my sister was enduring and it wasn't a one time thing. I told everyone I could in the family and so many of them told me to be quiet and let it work itself out. that wasn't an option for me and on Xmas eve 2014 I exploded and revealed what had happened in front of him and the rest of my family, so that they'd reckon with the truth. I don't regret it. she's empowered and free now. but yeah, I TOO hate ppl who look the other way
Salute!✨
Sorry, who is “him”? Did he go to jail
Two really awesome police officers helped me when my ex boyfriend went psychotic and broke nearly everything in my house and threw me around like a rag doll because he was drunk and I wouldn't give him the keys to the car. He called the police on himself and even bashed his head against the wall until he was bleeding to make it look like I got/threw something at him! When they showed up he suddenly was completely "coherent" and said I'd stolen the keys to his car after I went on a rampage and started breaking things, turning the entire thing around on me. Even though at that moment you couldn't tell he'd been drinking one of the officers could immediately tell that he was the one that broke everything not me. They asked me if I wanted to press charges but instead I just had them drive him to one of his friends houses and permanently kicked him out of mine, never to be seen again. That officer was hands down the coolest one I'd ever met. He was definitely one of the good ones.
Geez. All these survivor stories have made me realize what extreme lengths abusive people will go to to paint themselves as the victim. Makes me wonder how many were believed and got away with it.
The women before my sister also didn’t press charges on the abusive man she briefly dated. He had no record (she researched him before going out with him). Yet after he murdered my sister, 14 women came forward to corroborate his history of abuses dating back to his high school days... none of which were ever reported.
My sister only dated him for 3 weeks very casually and he was very charming in the surface, but my sister was very aware. when she saw some red flags she was clear with him that she was no longer interested. She ended the connection but He wasn’t going to have that.
I know it’s scary (I’ve had to report assault to authorities, myself) and often law enforcement and courts don’t do anything about abusers or rapists but report it anyway. Insist that It’s on record at least. So that women like my sister, who did her due diligence and researched men before she would go out on a date with them, would have had a chance. These kind of men do not “grow out of it”. They do not magically wake up as decent men one day. They are personality disordered, sociopathic, misogynists and most often, they just get worse.
Please consider reporting. It could save lives.
Should’ve pressed charges
It’s true . I grew up in the late 60’s, 70’s. It’s just the way it was . My dad used to beat my mom . Outside the house , he was a charmer . Inside the house , once the door was closed , hell on wheels . You just kept your mouth shut . Sad thing is my dad, he’s 86 now . Still trucking . Swear he’ll bury us all . My mom, the sweetest person, found out she had cancer in September 2013, dead on December 26, 2013.
It’s just the way it was …..
I'm so sorry. I hope you're doing okay now
aww i’m so so sorry that happened to you :(
@@nikkidash4826 Thank you . Still bothers me, but you deal with it. However when we were arranging my moms funeral , I took the priest aside who was going to do the eulogy and told him “ Don’t you dare mention “ Loving husband .” He looked at me and said “ Why ?” I told him how my dad was . He said “ Your mother never said one word about it . I said , that’s just the way it was
This scene kept me on edge
The way he put his hand on her shoulder I was like no
I once saw a girl crying on a curb, in the middle of the afternoon, looking absolutely shattered. I was walking with some friends to go get pizza and beer at a restaurant. She was across the street but caught my eye and I so badly wanted to go over and invite her to come with us, feed her pizza, ask what was going on. What ultimately stopped me was that I barely had enough money to cover my own food that day, and I thought my friends would be mad. It's been probably 10 years since that happened and I still think about it sometimes, and regret not doing something. Don't be afraid to look silly or maybe weird, or piss people off. Cross the street and introduce yourself.
Sorry man but I ain't risking being false accuse again, It happen to me once and I regret helping her
The world is cruel
I've seen those times quite often. Thankfully a few times I offered help & all they wanted was a phone to call. So relieving to help, yet do not offer what you can't provide. Prioritize your boundaries.
Usually abuse is so so so much more subtle and complex than this, usually victims of abuse are hard to even know they’re being abused
The saddest kind are the ones who justify the abuse happening to them, they're convinced it's for their own good.
@@abigase135 true, that’s one of the issues media often overlooks
@@abigase135 .adult survivors of childhood beatings often claim it kept them from becoming a criminal or made the upright person they are now or it was done out of love. This toxic mindset is disguised as jokes about being beaten with belts, extension cords, shoes, tree branches, or objects thrown at them.
@@abigase135 I used to justify my mom all the time, I don't anymore. I didn't really understand I was abused until I was 18 and already graduated.
@@nrw7734 some those things are extreme but getting a belt sometimes for being a fuck up is absolutely normal.
I can feel this to the bone. Being abused make you feel unworthy of making your own decisions, you always look at your abuser before saying anything that might trigger their hostility. Growing into violence really made me fragile, insecure, Incapable of loving or being loved, submissive. Take good care of your children, the wounds that happen in our childhood never heal.
You CAN heal tho. It's hard but you can get better. Trust me.
@@sometimessnarky1642 it’s possible. But the cost of healing is really high. Think of how many life changing opportunities were missed because of this “healing process”.
@@sometimessnarky1642 Nope.
You cannot. That shit always stays with you through dreams and memories. If you haven't been through something such horrible, please keep the comments about is it possible or not possible to heal.... even if you've been through some of it, you still have no rights to tell because everyone is a different individual, and in most cases it always stays there. It's a fact.
She fit the role of the nervous wife
Since everyone is sharing, I feel the energy to share my story. There are some men who are so charming that they can convince anyone that their spouse is the incompetent one. My ex would be smiling and joking with his friends, and still with a grin on his face lean into my ear and say, "I'm going to fucking kill you when we get home." He'd swerve down the streets in the car screaming he was going to kill us both right there. He'd even beaten me until I was black and blue. My face was a blimp. I had vertigo for months. And that was only one of the times I'm describing. I was with him for 4 years. He had me convinced that anyone I dated would do the same because I just deserved it. Tell me I was so unlovable and no one would ever love me. And I believed him. We worked together and he convinced my coworkers I was stupid and awful. I told my best friend about what was happening, and he kept me away from her. I was too scared and too belittled. I moved out with him to get away from the trauma at home. I felt guilty to leave since my dad was the cosigner of the apartment (I was still a teen). He'd say "go ahead and call your dad. I'll tell him what YOU did." I wish I realized he was bluffing and I hadn't even done anything wrong other than cry and beg. After I left, my whole family didn't believe me for 6 months. I hadn't realized other than subtle hints of them giving me odd looks. My mom convinced my family for whatever reason that I was lying. I showed her the pictures I had of my face that I kept secret. My family now knows the truth to all my tears. But it just hurts my heart that it's so easy that people can be turned against you, even yourself.
Please tell me that good for nothing ex is rotting in jail
Unfortunately no, but I'm just happy that I have him blocked on everything and have not seen him for about 2 years. I truly just never want to see him again. That's all I want (and why I decided not to go through the legal system). It felt satisfying just to leave.
Honestly though, I am going to bring up Gabby Petito and Brian Laundrie- that situation hits me hard because my justice was leaving, and the poor girl never got that. Her real justice would be finding Brian and putting him into prison to rot for the rest of his life.
@@marinadamn5813 glad for you but hope no other girl is suffering because of him
I DONT UNDERSTAND HOW ANY FAMILY WOULD THINK THEIR LOVED ONE IS LYING ABOUT SOMETHING LIKE THAT….IM SORRY BUT WHEN MY COUSIN TOLD THAT HER HUSBAND PUSHED HER DURING AN ARGUMENT…SINCE SHE WAS AN ONLY CHILD SOME OF US COUSINS (MALE AND FEMALE) PAID HIM A VISIT AND EXPLAINED TO HIM IN DETAIL HOW SHIT WOULD GO DOWN IF WE HEAR THAT KIND OF STORY AGAIN…THEY ARE STILL TOGETHER AND WE HAVENT HEARD OF ANY MORE INCIDENTS LIKE THAT…BELIEVE ME WE PAYED CLOSE ATTENTION FOR A LONG TIME JUST IN CASE SHE WAS SCARED TO TELL US BUT EVERYTHING WAS GOOD…YOU GOTTA PROTECT YOUR FAMILY NO MATTER WHAT…SHIT LIKE THIS SHOULD NEVER BE TAKEN LIGHTLY
@@javiermartinez3620 bless you for doing the right thing!!!
I was in an abusive relationship and the amount of people that wouldn't help me and didn't believe me I think was more heartbreaking than the actual abuse. The amount of bystanders that never spoke up when he publicly yelled at me or shoved me. And then people have the audacity to ask afterwards "why didnt you just leave" 😒
Same :( hope you are ok now 💖
I share the same story
That girl was on ANTM!
I know I recognised her
She's been in plenty of movies by now. For example, Crazy stupid love
Analeigh Tipton
@@amalie5172 she was also on Warm Bodies!! ❤
@@djcsant No way is that woman Analeigh! Wow😮
When I was dragged away and raped, not one person stepped in to help. They looked me in the eye, then turned away.
I, too, HATE when people look the other way.
I’m so sorry this happened to you😭 I hope you’re surrounded with love and are healing🙏🏽🤍
Omg, I wish I could hug you and be there for you always. I hope that God is healing your heart and that Jesus is blessing your mind with extremely great favor. No one deserves that trauma you had. I am here to talk to if you need. Just let me know.
My cousin molested me twice when I was 11 and 12. I wanted to play on his Pokemon emulator. He wanted something more.
I've only told my mom and sister. My sister is more understanding, and so is my mom, but I don't think she realizes how badly it affects me. They have not told anyone else in the family, in fear of further increasing the dysfunction in our family.
I live in the same household as him.
Sometimes I feel as though I'm the one being dramatic, due to the fact that I've "learned" to keep it in and not actively show my fear and disgust.
I realize that this comment will most likely be swept by the sea of peoples' stories, but it feels nice to just share a story to strangers who understand.
I totally get you. I was in a situation like yours in my early teens but could not speak it out loud to my parents who btw are more than supportive of me but I dunno why somehow I fell mute. Threatened my cousin that I will tell them but never did. Luckily we don't stay in a shared household and now as a grown-up, it has kinda been swept under the rug. Now when we meet as adults, we act completely normal and nothing untoward has ever occurred. But I do wonder if he remembers? Now I have got over it but back as a kid, I was terrorized by his behavior.
I completely understand and if you do start acting out they look at you like you're "crazy" which makes it so much worse. It's a really tough one honestly, I just hope you can find the strength and courage to tell everyone in your family so that they know. It'll be EXTREMELY uncomfortable but please hear me, you wont be able to hold in the pain you're feeling forever without developing illnesses or even becoming suicidal. They need to know what happened and what they do with that information is up them but I beg you to SPEAK, for the sake of your health and your future. You might also feel like you're making your family even more dysfunctional by speaking but it was already dysfunctional even more the minute he decided to touch you. I could give you so many more reason, I'm just really so sorry he left you with this burden.
Manifesting him getting mauled by a bear for you, i hope you can get away from him, hope you have a good day
Me too, mama. I begged my mother not to say anything…I was afraid of being blamed. I wish she would have. Cause I’m a maladjusted mess who lives at home and he’s a married, happy world traveler. I see you, I hear you and I’m sorry.
About 20 years ago I owned a Hotel in rural Victoria, Australia. Every Friday night a group of older men would enjoy having beers together in the Front Bar. Laughing, joking and telling stories about how terrific they all were. Mutual pats on the back all round. I found out years later that one of that group would regularly return to his wife and beat her black & blue. The worst thing about this is that every other man in that social group knew. I feel ill thinking about how I provided hospitality to these 'seemingly' decent people. Speak up cowards!
It's the Bro Code. No matter how evil, men will stick up for each other.
It's nor your fault that you didn't know what they were people like that are that manipulative.
@@blacktigerpaw1 .......and we've left the running of the world to men, only men, no women to counterbalance all that unbridled testosterone...I love them but they alone shouldn't be running the world. It's unbalanced. Peace and good health to you.
@@uravirginwhocantdrive1400 Thanks, the world we're born into manipulates us for sure. It takes courage, awareness & motivation to stick our heads above the mire. Hope 2022 is treating you well so far.
@@missrachael1709 Well said.
His portrayal of an abuser is spot-on. They can switch to charming in front of others, then go right back to their abusive tone/behavior twd their victim.
Omg I love this comment section, so supportive. Stay strong, keep vigilant and most important, say something!
Tip that is taught in self defense:
MAKE IT YOUR BUSINESS. If somone looks like they aren't feeling or looking normal, help them. But be careful when dealing with abusive relationships. It's hard to get out of them and very dangerous. It's more dangerous to get out of a abusive relationship than in one. So if you know someone or you are in an abusive relationship. It's okay if you didn't see any signs, you loved that person so it's hard to see the signs. If you are in this situation the best thing to do is to make a safety plan, and call the authorities if you can, if not make sure you have things to defend yourself with and places to escape. And if you are being abused it is NEVER YOUR FAULT! A person who loves you would not hurt you even if you made them mad. I hope everyone has a wonderful day! 😊
My aunt and uncle live near our house. When my "biological father" (I refuse to define him in other words) hit my mom and my other aunt, they didn't raise a finger. I remembered that one time (I was maybe 15) my brothers and I were alone with that sort of person.
Things went bad and I ran to their home. They let me in, but did nothing more. And eventually I had to return home.
I'm not sure I hate them, but I can't understand how my uncle did absolutely nothing to help his own sisters and nephews. I can't look at him in the face without feeling his church and family man are mainly hypocrisy.
The point is, lots of people wouldn't feel the need to raise a finger.
So it's important that we are ready to help others the way lots of people didn't receive
We don't really know your situation, and I'm so sorry for what you experienced. Have you asked them why they didn't help? It sounds like it went on for many years? Had they maybe tried to help early on but were turned away. I've seen many domestic abuse situations. Most of the time, people try to help at first and are rebuffed. Happened with my mom and with my best friend. She wrote a paper on it later, about the mindset of the abused woman and how the abuser can even make it seem like the family who wants to help is the enemy. They want to alienate the victim from their support system.
@@marydidyouknow5826 because cowards love themselves more than other people. It’s about ignoring situations to protect themselves and their time….I’ve seen it with my own eyes
I was 14 when an 18 year old got me pregnant. I thought I was in love with him and fought my mom and became defiant. I have multiple diagnoses including a child defiance disorder as well as hearing and seeing things that aren’t there. My mo chose not to press charges against the guy who got me pregnant. I was sent away because I was pregnant and I had to live in an all girls home where people constantly threatened my child’s life (other girls living there) as well as staff favoriting certain girls. Favorites got special privileges like snacks allowed to be in their room, coddling, they got to yo anywhere and get anything they wanted meanwhile others were forced to follow a prison like schedule. If you didn’t feel well enough you weren’t allowed to be included in anything, not even a group meal, because they would refuse to come get you or check in on you. They weren’t easy on me regardless of me being a pregnant 15 year old.
After I got out I had a few months left til I delivered
I found out the time I was away, the guy who had groomed me was cheating on me. He was kissing and sleeping with girls younger and older. It didn’t matter who it was. He blamed me and manipulated me into believing it was my fault. (Even now that I’m self aware I did nothing wrong, I still have a hard time accepting that and try to justify what happened to me by saying I was obsessive or clingy or whatever, I just search for ways to justify his actions even tho he was a grown adult and knew what he was doing and the power dynamic at play)
After I gave birth I wanted to forgive him and move past it. I was willing to do anything. I eventually got introduced to acid and shrooms and started getting drunk a lot. I went down a rabbit hole of darkness where I kept getting high and asking him when we would trip next because it made me feel powerful and in control, it was fun. It didn’t feel good tbh, in fact sometimes I’d trip and get intense headaches, but I did it over and over again because I couldn’t help dealing with being sober. The intense pain he was putting me through, psychologically and... then it became physically too.
He started hitting me, choking me, eventually I just started sleeping wi th him even though I didn’t want to because I couldnt bare the thought of him going to another girl. I lost myself over a man because I was starved of that love and care. I thought he was going to protect me and be different.(previously to this, I was molested by my older brother and my mother told me to lie to police about it causing my eldest brother to spit on me and not believe my story. I lied about it but then a couple years later, it popped back up and police removed my brother from the home and he admitted to having molested me, was put on probation and such and I wasn’t coping well at all at the time.)
I couldn’t handle change or accept the fact that the person I loved wasn’t who he had painted himself to be. Even though we had good times together, even tho he said “sorry”, he wasn’t really going to change. He didn’t love me. And that I couldn’t fix him. This went on for months and months...
Over time, I lost my mind.
My friends started to say “you look like you have Stockholm syndrome.”
Or “you’re kind of getting annoying, all you do is cry about him.”
I felt alone, completely alone. Of course there were this handful that would keep reaching out to me but I thought to myself, “Everyone who I love ends up leaving me, so what’s the point of getting help anymore? What’s the point of trying?”
I wanted to give up. I started pushing my child into my mother to raise her. I completely lost control.
I started to take it out on others. I sunk my teeth into other people’s lives and Facebook posts because I couldn’t deal with my own reality. I started problems with anybody. I made fun of whoever. And if anyone crossed me or made me feel the wrong way at all, I was dragging them down with me.
I lost my very one again. One by one, they all saw me as this disgusting person and left. At that point, no matter what proof I had of my story, or how long I had been open about it or had been providing evidence of my allegations, I lost my credibility and so I became an even bigger target.
With him going in and out of my life, my family being broken and feeling unloved, as well as people my age knowing who I am, calling me a liar, threatening to hurt/kill me, telling me I deserved to abused, I wanted to kill myself. For a long fucking time I wanted to kill myself.
Many people knew what was happening. So many people literally watched him push me, watched him hit me and make my mouth bleed, watched him jump on me for simply grabbing his phone, they sat there and told me I deserved it over some words and ignored it because i had grown into a hateful person because of my pain.
Some even went as far as to put pictures of my daughter next to a monkey (because she is black) and said they would abandon her too if they were her father....
This is my story of how I was groomed. It only just recently ended. And I’m still scared of what could happen. I only got away a month ago and blocked him. I’m scared to even go outside. I’m scared he’ll take my baby away.
I stopped doing drugs and I’m seeking for a therapist.
Also a year ago I straightened up when it came to being a mother, I still struggle with getting out of bed and stuff most days but that’s just depression and I push through it because she saved my life and I love her so much. I’d do anything for my child.
This trauma will stick with me for the rest of my life but I want to heal and move on. It’s only been a month but I’m ready. He can’t hurt me or my baby anymore.
Update: Please feel free to contact me via Instagram if you’d like, I’m always up for new friends @pickle._.head
Also I’m open to any questions anybody may have as well about my story. Thank you for reading! 💜
truly sorry you've had to go through such horrific experiences, most people will never know even half of the pain you must've felt throughout your life. I'm just a stranger online but I'm proud of you for finally choosing yourself and yiur child, choosing life. It's far from easy but I believe in you, you can do it, you can heal❤
@@sleepingrosess thank you so much for reading the massive paragraph I wrote haha. But I am doing so so much better and I’m thriving. I am in a very healthy and happy relationship with a man who I trust completely.
And even as a stranger, you’ve shown me kindness and your words help and hold more meaning and weight than you can ever imagine. You truly are an amazing person. Thank you so much. 💜 I hope you stay safe and all blessings in your future are sent to your present. ✨
@@CiinaBunnii well i'm very happy to hear that, I hope you have finally found someone who truly makes you happy and is deserving of your love and time! Sending you all my love and support, I hope life treats you more kindly from now on💓
So sorry for what you had to go through. You’re so brave and incredible. I hope life will treat you better from now on. I wish you happiness, luck, success - everything you deserve.
im so so sorry you had to experience this. sometimes the world is a very cruel place i sincearly hope things are better for you now. you are in my prayers
No one:
Literally no one:
Me: He's the major from Ginny & Georgia
Yes!
haha yes! I watched Why Women Kill before Ginny and Georgia, and I *just* realized he plays the mayor too!
Yea!
"Mayor"! 😄
I remember him from Hart of Dixie
i relate way too much to the green dress lady
how come? are you going through something similar??
Ikr green isn't my color either
space oddity her life story is oddly similar to mine as a kid :')
@@fionagallagherapologist5968 im so sorry to hear that, I'm seeing so many people comment something similar
@@fionagallagherapologist5968 I hope u know you're not alone in whatever you've been through, and hope that you're doing better
I always think about the quote from the movie spotlight. It takes a village to raise children, but it also takes a village to abuse one. I think this applies to women + domestic abuse too
The actresses in this scene (Ginnifer Goodwin and Annaleigh Tipton) did SUCH a good job, especially when Ralph comes to the door and puts his hand on Mary’s neck/shoulder. Beth Ann’s glances to how the contact clearly made Mary flinch and the sense of immediate understand of the danger there that you get from the way her posture and tone of voice changes. It’s really well done, but the wavering “smile” that Mary has (because she realizes Beth Ann noticed her fear) is chilling as hell and so well done. The way it falls for a second before she puts it on again? so scary and so accurate. This is a really well depicted scene of how women recognize the smaller signs of being in abusive relationships.
I thought that was Annaleigh! So glad to see her in more movies.
My ex could be charming too. I met him after a tough couple of years where I had lost my self-confidence and he saw that. He took advantage of it and basically broke me without me noticing it. Little by little he convinced me that I was unworthy of love, dumb, uninteresting etc. He isolated me from my friends and became my only "person". After 2 years the psychological abuse became physical abuse. One day he shoved me so hard into a wall it practically knocked me unconscious. It was on the street at night. A woman saw it and immediately threatened to call the police and offered me to come to her place. I will never forget her kindness.
My family tried to instill in me "stay out of other people's business. " I guess they didn't start early enough, because if I see something wrong, I have to say something. Do something. Yeah, it might get me hurt, and I know plenty of abusers/shitty people dont like me because I call them out on their bullshit. They dont like women who dont take shit lying down, and dont just look away when their friends or themselves are abused.
Omg! Same!...one time my neighbors where fighting and it sounded like the man was seriously gonna kill his wife. I called the police and when my dad found out he fkn screamed at my face. He told me it wasn't my business and I should had just ignored it. Little does he know I was in an extremely abusive relationship and I can't tolerate that kind of abuse.
I just had the biggest epiphany after watching this. My father was mentally (and sometimes physically) abusing my mum (from 15 he started to treat me the same) until he moved out when I was in my twenties.
My father’s relatives, his mother and sister, knew about what was going on. They had the same experience in their family with an alcoholic father. But they never spoke with us on this matter. Never offered any type of help. And yet they kept telling me that they love me that they’d do anything for me. And I, all the time, felt like I wasn’t welcomed. Guess I know the reason why. My relatives just looked the other way.
What a fantastic show! And can we please appreciate that during this season Beth En saved not only herself but THREE other women - Mary, April and April's daughter, Elsie.
What show is this???
@@tashaseely Why Women Kill
I actually laughed out loud when she said 'but he's not the type, he's so successful!'
Ignorance is bliss, and it shouldn't be.
Right like what is that suppose to mean, matter of fact the successful ones are usually the ones that are abusive.
My mother tried to help my aunt. Went to the police and it didnt turn out well. 6 years later everyone blames her for calling the police. I have learned my lesson. I might help strangers but not family. I'm extremely sorry for the people in the comments. May someone never go through the pain but we suffered the consequences alot. That's why many people refuse to help.
Yeah
What happened?
Did he kill your aunt ? Omg pls say no
This is why anonymous reports are the best, be it for a stranger or a family member.
Hm I wonder why you're not explaining what happened. What kind of consequences that may be?
I hate people that look the other way... but I've been one of those people before.
Oop-
Many of us have by thinking "it's not my business". At least you're mature and honest enough to admit it. Admitting our faults is a start to solving problems.
As a fellow yoruba, ik some nigerian men are triflin. I've delt with witness a husband emotionally abuse his wife. What was you situation?
@Soul D Because abuse isn’t that easy. People (cough cough like you) will cut you out just for being abused. Trauma isn’t logical. It’s harder to “just leave” than people like you think and the victim-blaming is debilitating, and keeps us from getting help. Compassion is free ❤️ Your attitude is fatal.
@Soul D I do not have the energy for reading that today. Bruh just be better, I don’t need your life story 🤷✌️
Analeight FROM ANTM I LOVE HER SO MUCH OMG
Same here am glad she is doing great
I don’t have much hate in my heart, except for those kind of people. I was bullied throughout high school but my “friends” chose to ignore it every time I brought it up. They even went as far as to still talk to the girl who tormented me because they thought they were being “mature” by minding their own business. Trust me when I say what goes around comes around, and those people will be in your exact shoes some day
The man portrayed in the clip, and many men like him, are the reason the world has gone nuts!!! Treating women like property has what has caused the confusion we see in family courts; the way men are "woke" and staying away from women and long term relationships...began many years ago when the house wife was treated like crap.
I really don't think it's "wokeness". Men have been like this...since Adam accused Eve of giving him eat from the Tree of knowledge. It has been proven time and time again that men actually do not have the capacity to love women. They can only love the benefits they get from having women around them (and that's manipulation, not love).
"I hate people who look the other way." That sentence hurts so much. I went through a lot of bullying, SA, and abuse in school. It caused a lot of trauma. What stuck with me wasn't so much the acts themselves, though they were bad. The worst parts were all the moments people, including adults, saw something happening and either turned and walked away, completely ignored what was going on, or gaslit and blamed me for being assaulted. That caused the most harm in ways I am still dealing with decades later. They are worse than the people who hurt me.
I’m not sure if this comment will get buried but for the people who don’t look away: get help. That can mean calling a crisis line or an abuse shelter in your area. It call also mean inviting your neighbour over for dinner and listening to them. So many abusers trap their victims with power or isolation. You can be there for someone.
To everyone sharing their stories in the comments: thank you, stay strong.
As a child , I thought abuse was only in movies . Abusers aren’t always easy to spot . Just like oh the clip , they are charming . I dated a guy who was very handsome and young . He was very sweet at first . When you meet him , you never know he was abusive . As time goes by , I got to know his true nature .
I'm the kind of person who finds it nearly impossible to look the other way, if not actually impossible (to my detriment, because some situations are very dangerous). Can't tell you the number of times I've gotten involved or called the cops due to either clear or suspected abuse. People looked away when I went through it as a kid, and I promised myself that I would never, ever be that person for anyone else - and I've never been. Not as a child, not as an adult. If you see something, do something (but be safe). What if it were you or someone you loved?
My parent's families only acted like they cared about our dad hitting us when we asked them directly for help. I think to make themselves look good. Otherwise they were like "it's not our business" 🙄
My ex cornered me in his parents bathroom one morning before we were leaving for work. His mother HEARD him cursing me and then slamming me into the tub and when he started kicking me and beating me so badly I thought it was the day I died. All she did was tell him to keep it down, other people are tryin to get ready. Him and her both left and I thought it was only me there so I started trying to get up when I felt someone helping me. It was his dad... just in tears, asking why I never told him and how he can't believe he missed it.... and then I saw anger bc he realized his wife had known and she hadn't stopped him. That was the day I finally managed to get out; his dad helped me pack and when my ex came home and realized I was gone, told him if he tried to come after me, he'd shoot him himself. I will never forget that mam, I know he saved my life... his mom would have always pretended it was nothing; don't ever look the other way or allow it.... I think that makes someone worse than the person who is actually doing it, if that makes sense
Yes it makes sense. My grandfather raped me and I asked help from my grandma who choosed to turn the other way. I can't hate the devil for being himself but I can hate her for being weak and cruel. She lives down the street, old, needing a helping hand but I can not be that for her. She can die and rot alone, I don't care and that is very sad. I feel tainted from what I can not forgive.
@@Nyuffykah and isn't that the worst part of it... knowing you did nothing wrong but you feel all this anger and resentment that almost feels as if it eats you inside out and takes away part of the good and empathy you had. My ex died when he drove a motorcycle over the side of this curve up the mountain... and I actually had the thought of I hope it hurt half as much as what he did to me and that he suffered... and I hoped it made his mother hurt for the rest of her life like it hurt that day she allowed him to almost kill me. And it horrified me to know I thought that bc I never was that kinda person. I am so sorry you had to experience what happened to you and then had ur grandma just act like u never told her... and I hope you did find someone who listened and you were able to find a way to process and heal (as much as anyone really ever can). Good vibes and a hug to you.
The way she looked back in disbelief, the hand on the shoulder, the way he pressed it in warning.
That guy was in Ginny & Georgia
Uhh better known in Hart of dixie!!!! miss that show!!
The girl was on ANTM
Uh no. THAT MAN IS ALWAYS GEORGE TUCKER to me. Hart of Dixie, hun. Watch that.
And Friday night lights!!
friday happy friday good morning ginny welcome to friday😫
It’s good to see Analeigh again ☺️
THIS ONE IS KINDA HARD. FOR ME TO WATCH AS I WAS A WIFE IN THE 60’s and I was horrible abused. After 18 years I did divorce. He left me no choice so I did what I had to do. Took my 3 kids and I left him. I was penniless because back then women didn’t sue for half and he had money . He was a supervisor for an oil company. I made it and life was so much better. Now I council women my age and write books for my hobby. Life is good. Thank you for your wonderful work and the great cast of actors.
I have made a lot of mistakes in my life, but one thing I will never regret is when a woman I don't know ran up to me on the street begging for help I stayed right there in between her and her boyfriend (who had just physically assaulted her and then stolen her phone) until we found someone else who could get her to her parents' house safely. I don't know what happened to her, but I gave her the phone number of an acquaintance who worked at a women's shelter and told her to give them a call when she was ready. I still think about her. I hope she's okay.
My dad used to beat the hell out of us, and then we'd get in the car and go to church. He was a deacon and everyone always said what a great man he was. When he died, his funeral procession drove down main street (small Southern town, everyone knew everyone) and it was lined with people paying their respects. I looked at my mom and said "When did we become the Kennedys?" So yes, abusers have double lives and can fool everyone.
For all my sisters: "Why Does He Do That" By Lundy Bancroft and "Should I Stay Or Should I Go" Lundy Bancroft and "When Dad Hurts Mom" Lundy Bancroft and "The Batterer As Parent" Lundy Bancroft and "The Joyous Recovery" Lundy Bancroft and "Women Who Love Too Much" Robin Norwood and "When Love Hurts" Jill Corey and Karen McAndless-Davis and "How He Gets Into Her Head" by Don Hennesy and "See What You Made Me Do" by Jess Hill and "No Visible Bruises" by Rachel Snyder and "Invisible Women" by Carolina Perez and "Backlash" by Susan Faludi and "Men Who Hate Women" by Laura Bates and "Caliban and the Witch" by Silvia Federici and "Men Explain Things To Me" by Rebecca Solnit and "The Second Sex" by Simone de Beauvoir and "The Creation Of Patriarchy" by Gerda Lerner
You must read these and believe me you are going to look back and say "I shouldn't have put off reading these, I wished I read them back then" or "I don't want to read them" or "I have time so I'll postpone/procrastinate"
I know that plenty will se this and think "it won't happen to me" "I don't need it" "it's an uncomfortable and sensitive matter and I don't like to think about it" "none of us need it because we are in the 21st century" "it doesn't happen to women like me so I won't be victimised since I won't be at fault inviting those kind of situations and it only happens to those kind of women/girls, not me" "this is victim mentality" "fear mongering" "they don't have real problems so they invent some" "we are in the West so we don't need it" "it's in the past" "it's embarrassing" "it's my fault I should've known better" and etc but that's not true.
Everyone should read or listen to these books and I wish every girl learned about these books so that they could save themselves if needed and didn't have to go through those experiences and that it was mandatory for girls in their 12th year of life read these in order to prepare and protect and save themselves"
The performance is so good that you know she's in an abusive relationship just from seeing the thumbnail... Amazing actors
Ironically enough she herself “looks the other way” every time she sleeps with that married man 😂
😂😂😂😂😭
This reminds me of how there’s a business of “night moving” in Japan, where someone is hired to get a victim of abuse out of their environment and make them “disappear.”
It’s compelling to think that in some places that exists.
I thought about that when I heard about the man who killed him family in Utah … how brave of the wife to finally file for divorce and how those services are definitely needed.
Ginnifer is so good in these period roles. She molds her voice very appropriately to these kinds of roles which is something that many actors forget to do. It takes more than a costume and a hairdo to come across as a 50s housewife
I'm a nurse and we had a woman who was being taken by her boyfriend. To a lake. Where he cut her throat open. And tried to drown her. She was obviously an emergency and I cannot remember how she got out there but after a long surgery she was stabilized. The next morning she asked me if I had paper towels. Her shoes were all soaked. I don't know what happened to her ex, didn't feel it would be right to ask. She has a 5 year old son.
My god! This is horrific.
This scene alone made me watch the show, just finished the 2 seasons in 3 days! I couldn’t stop watching
People look the other way all the time. Animal abuse, child abuse, spousal abuse, elder abuse. If it’s an inconvenience to them a lot of people shut up. My mother was a very good person and a bad mother, it’s 2 very different things. It wasn’t until after her funeral people who were her friends and neighbors came up to me to say we thought of saying to your mother she was neglecting you. I just held my tongue. My mother knew I was being sexually abused by a family member, I told her when I was 14 and we went back to their house repeatedly. It was a wake up call she didn’t care. Add in I’m adopted and years later I’m simply glad they aren’t my family. They’re heinous. But that neighbors and friends felt in their gut something was wrong but they didn’t say anything-that hurt too.
i am very sorry to all the people in the comments who are victims and in no way do i want to dismiss their suffering, but most people don’t look the other way out of malice. they often want to believe that they’re wrong (and things like acusing someone of abuse is a very heavy thing that needs to be based on true recollected evidence) or sometimes they’re just plain scared to do something (what could the bad person do to them?) or don’t even know what to do (battered women often stay even when shown a way out because it’s always hard to leave abuse). so i get that of course one would hate not having been helped, but truly it cannot be blamed on the people who, for any reason, looked away. it’s often a very hard thing to step up and help, despite how much we wish it were easy for us to do
It’s not blaming but I personally believe that if there signs, it’s the most people can get. “Evidence” is not easy to find. It’s not like the abuser is out here screaming that their guilty. That is why, it is much better and a basic human obligation that when it comes to abuse (especially involving heterosexual relationships that are established on historical heteronormative toxic standards) between couples especially, it is better to assume and ask, investigating is not blaming. It is not the final say. If it turns that the person is not guilty, they have lost nothing literally. But if they are, how many years of abuse did people allow because they weren’t sure or they were scared. All my life I have refused to look away. Even bullies must be put in place. Abusers, if suspected, should be investigated. Period.
I see a lot of comments here that sadly show how some people can fail at helping and their behavior is down right disgusting and dismissive of ones suffering :(
I am so sorry for all of you. I just wanted to a leave a comment with a bit of a more “positive” scenario outcome of a similar situation. My moms neighbor wanted to kill his wife and he was a drunk cop. She came to our house and my mother hid her. The guy came to ask her for her pointed the gun at my mother, my mom refused and hid behind a brick concrete square pole that was under our second floor balcony, because he starred shooting. My mom did not give up the lady. The other man got arrested. There’s good people too. Many bad ones, more than we need or can handle, but there’s good ones too
This storyline was actually my favourite
This just made me want to watch the show. I was iffy on it, but I need to see it for sure. And to the women in the comments telling their stories, I’m glad you made it out and are safe, and I’m sorry you weren’t helped sooner
My dad was very abusive to my mom and us for years. The entire street knew because families had lived there for generations. Every single day of him shouting for one thing or the other, to the point where him and his mother starved my pregnant mom and refused to give food to my sister as a baby. No one did anything and many told us we were even lucky to have a very educated father. It's such a common thing in India. Years later, i still cannot stand the people on that street who looked on and did nothing, even isolating us. Some even refused to let us kids play with their children. I'll never forget learning how cruel indifference can be at such a young age.
As someone who has tried to help these type of women, it hasn't ended well. When trying to help them, these women itself have defended and gone back to the abusive partners and told me to mind my own business. SO yea ppl may look the other way, because their not sure of the outcome or situation.
But in case of family members, THATS CRIMINAL
I hate people who look the other way, but most of the time they don’t know what to do about it.
You need strong karmic ties to be compelled to help someone. Unfortunately the system is not designed to keep people safe, especially children.
Ok so I saw this video 3 days ago and it made me wanna watch the show, so I just finished the show to day and ITS SO FREAKING GOOD!!!!
Which show is it?
I guess the hypocrisy here is that the woman who says, "I hate people who look the other way" is the same person who knows whats going on with that abused woman and isn't doing shit about it lol
Bingo
"No, he isn't the type, he is very successful"
My mother went through the same thing. When my father put my mother in the hospital and broke her nose my uncle( my dad’s older brother) told my mother not to report it to the police or she would loose me. He told her he would make sure I would never see her again.
She dealt with this for another 10 years. She left him and never looked back. He’s bitter and we are free and happy. Best decision my mother could have made. I love her for it.
Paul Randolph, That you?
I love this show btw
What show is it
'Why women kill'
This clip has convinced me, I need to watch this series. Thank you 🙏🏽
We had a good friend who wore layers of makeup for years. She was even a Mary Kay distributor. It took about 7 or 8 years for us to tumble to the fact that she was being abused by this guy. She was that good at covering things up. I know better now especially when. I see a woman wearing lots of makeup every day.
Isn’t that Georgia’s man 😂
And Snow White
Yay It's Analeigh Tipton from ANTM, good to see she's still acting
People who look the other way might as well be worse than the ones hurting people
I hate people who look the other way, and the nightmares who pretend to be people. Thanks to everyone for sharing their stories here.
I've been abused for 2 years and my neighbors knew and no one would help me, I got my phone smashed so I couldn't call the police. It's really depressing to know that people are aware that you are getting battered and look the other way.
50's, the year were women were expected to be submissive from their controlling husbands and society that time accepted it.
One of the best things my father ever told me, was when he asked my mother to marry him she said..."Yes, I'll marry you but let me tell you one thing. We're Equal. None of that shit that you're better than me just because you're a man". And that was that. Married 50 years and still in love.
I remember my dad was beating my mom in front of me, when I was 8.
Since then all my feelings to him disappeared. They divorced, but I can't forgive my grandmother (the mother's mother!) for pushing me into seeing him.
This isn’t the same situation but in middle school I was in a dark place and looked up ways to unalive myself at school. Apparently someone behind me saw and told the teacher who then told me counselor who brought me to her office. I still don’t know who it was to this day but whoever did thank you for not looking away.