TO PARENT OR NOT TO PARENT - HeyThereParenthood
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- Опубликовано: 16 дек 2023
- We've launched our new podcast: @HeyThereParenthoodPodcast
In this episode of HeyThereParenthood, we're tackling the conversation of having kids or not having kids. Join Jeena, Courtney and our spouses Drue and Blake as we break down the decision-making process with real stories, personal experiences, and practical insights.
We'll discuss the expectations around parenting roles, the process of intentionally choosing a “child-free” life, and the practical aspects like work and finances. Whether you're thinking about starting a family, already a parent, choosing to not have children, or just curious, this episode offers a straightforward look at the decision to parent or not to parent.
Parenthood is a big decision-let's navigate it together on Hey There Parenthood.
Episode Links:
Reddit Story 1: How did you decide to have/not have kids?
Reddit Story 2: My Husband Doesn't Want Kids, But I do
"The Baby Decision" www.thebabydecision.com/
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Meet the Wilders, the modern all American family!
We are an interracial and multicultural family of 7 and we are excited to show you all the fun we have!
It all comes down to personal choice and no one should be blamed for having a child or not wanting one. The only thing is that if you decide to have a child, you should be able to provide them with a stable home and a loving environment. No child should ever suffer. ❤
Exactly!
The first conversation is so relatable. My parents were dead set against teenage pregnancy, like would've kicked us out against it. The minute I turned 18, my mom started making comments about how she was never going to be a grandmother. It's like, let me graduate high school and get my life figured out first!
3:39 - I was definitely not big into having kids and decided to give it a shot bc the thought of not made me sad. Best decision I ever made! I LOVE being a mom, but to be honest, I’m still not big into kids in general. Just mine. But my mom was that way - best mom to me but she was older and definitely less hands on than some other parents. My point is - I don’t think you have to be super excited to be a good parent.
Same with my mom. She does not love children in general but she was and is the best mom ever to the three of us.
I have raised 10 boys and am now raising 4 grandkids. I still have 2 of my kids home both have special needs my 26 year old has severe high functioning autism ocd and severe asthma. My 16 year old has very low functioning autism, a long with severe OCD, has severe seizures and was born without a section of his brain and is in a wheelchair. I could NEVER see my life any different!
Got pregnant when I was 35, after years of thinking I never wanted to be a mom. Went into early labor, and my sonshine did not make it. Now I'm 40 and stuck with this indecision. No one was able to tell me what happened. Knowing I emotionally can not survive another loss (honestly barely surviving this one) coupled with the fact my sister went unto early labor a year later, around the exact same time I did. I'm terrified, but Im also facing the fact that being a mother may not be for me. Also, I am facing the fact that the amount of emotions im going through while writing this just means i have not grieved from my loss.
Bless you! I am so sorry that happened to you. The frustration with not knowing has to be traumatic either way. I'm glad you made a decision based on what you need not what others expect.
This is so important for me to watch. I’m disabled but still have those motherly urges. I vacillate between yes and no and it’s not something that you can take back so I want to be sure
Jeena I enjoyed this conversation with you four very insightful, childbearing is not for everyone you all honesty was refreshing, your thoughts came across very well your responses from all four of you were excellent keep up the good job…
Thank you!
I'm very motherly. Played with dolls. Always knew I'd be a mom. I'm even a labor/nursery nurse. Now, my daughter, since she was really little, thru to the adult she is today, does not want kids. I would be lying if I didn't say that I was disappointed. BUT (a giant "but") one thing I've learned from my years in this field, is that if someone doesn't think they want children they shouldn't be pushed to have one. You can't force bonding. And you can't expect someone to do a good job at something they don't enjoy. I have to remind myself that I had my kids. That was my chance. What makes me sad is one of her reasons is the state of the world.
Great conversation to share. Kudos to all of you!
Thank you!!!
@@HeyThereWilders Very welcome. 😉
Congratulations on new beginnings ❤❤❤🎉
Thank you!!!!!
I have children and severely regret it! Not bc we have them but bc they are stepping into a world in the edge of the worst war in history I’m 45 and I’ve never seen fear this bad! Not to mention the internet and the upcoming omega plan by the man who creates these gassless cars. It’s no time to begin ing a baby into this world!
To put an alternate spin on that, if you grow up with this as your normal, imagine what they’re going to be capable of handling and enjoying life through when they’re older.
So many of the people alive today were born in WWII and remember having bombs dropped on their schools, friends houses etc.
My grandad remembers the glass cutting him as his kitchen window blew up. He’s had an amazing life all the same.
Don’t loose hope. Life adapts. Your kids will learn to dance in the rain. It may not be the best time to exist, but it’s their time to exist. Real life is messy and scary. If you really think about it, there are very few times in history where something awful wasn’t on the verge of happening. It’s part of the tapestry of life. An awful part, but then we have flowers to counter act it with beauty. Life is a mix. I honestly can’t think of any 50 year span in human history with nothing terrifying in there. This is just our lot for this section of human existence. This is what they’re meant to be born into. Hopefully they’ll grow up to fix it or at least be better than the generations before
@@JadeGadd-ut8xmi still can’t gamble with a human’s life like that, I could give them all they need to flourish & they might meet someone or something along the way that leads them to a tragic life, & even if they have a good life they’ll still have to suffer, I can’t imagine bringing a human into that situation because of my own selfish reasons. That’s why I have so much respect for people who adopt, they don’t have kids for the mini me part or to put another human into an already overpopulated world for whatever reason, but they adopt because they truly want to raise kids & nurture those in need of a home
I feel the same way about the crazy state of the world but not for one minute do I regret having those amazing four people in my life!
Your not my family, but i can relate with my family, we have all the colours.
It does not come up in conversation, as it does not matter.
With respect, Merry Christmas.
imo
Wow !
Hey there Wilders; 💙ur family channel. Personally wish this
“Parenthood topics” had its own channel totally separate than ur family channel.
We have 4 kids 25,22,20 and 12.
If we hadn't had kids at young age idk that I'd want to have kids because the way the world is these days.
#loveyourfamily
❤❤❤❤
Both seem to want a kid had my Daughter with Autism and talk my husband into having one more did not really wanted another one . Son 2 kid also has Autism my Husband loves our kids .
I raised two kid's was great, some time's it was hard but I got through it, pray to God if undecided 🙏 if you want children or not 😊😅😮😢🎉😂❤
Children best part of life.
They are the best part of MY life!!! But having children may not be for everyone and that is okay!!! You can still have a happy life and not have children
@@HeyThereWildersThank you for saying that. I’m childfree by choice, I’m in my 40s, and I am confident in my choice to live my life the way I live my life.
However sometimes I feel a bit sad, when people basically say my life is worthless because I have no kids. I am a nurturing person and I don’t hate kids, but having kids of your own isn’t for everyone. I love my life, it’s rich in so many ways and I have so many things to be thankful for.
I’m new to your channel, and I have to say I really love your content. Keep it up 👍🏼 ❤️❤️❤️
Aw, cant hear this. Tried all my volumes.
Oh no!!! I’m sorry! Maybe you can get it figured out?
FIRST!! ❤❤❤
Hi!!!! ❤️❤️❤️
OTHER TOPICS:
How we feed our children.
Organic/sugar/ DF/GF.
I assume that u have at least one meal a day that y'all sit down together and eat as a Family?
Allergies: Do any of your children have allergies, and how do u cope w it.
Food aversion: have u experienced w yourselves or your children?
Do u serve everyone the same food in a meal/lunch for homeschhool group, or do u take into account that maybe u have different options of foods on the table?
Blessings, love and prayers for all, from Israel 🇮🇱. Peace for all on this Earth and in this World!
And surrogate could still have the husbands sperm and the wife’s egg some plant into somebody else
To have or not to have children is both selfish and not. Ironically.
Not having children isn’t selfish one bit.
So what is your reason for saying that?
how is not having children selfish?
I always knew I wanted kids eventually. I at the age of 16 my GP told me it would be nearly impossible for to conceive. I had 3 viable pregnancies. I don't regret having my babies but I do regret bringing them up in a volitial relationship. 10 years after leaving their "dad" he is still trying to control my life and how I interact and parent my children.
It's a personal preference to have children, biological or otherwise. You can't judge someone for thinking differently from your views.