How to make Norwegian Black Metal

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  • Опубликовано: 3 янв 2025

Комментарии • 2,3 тыс.

  • @bams4449
    @bams4449 5 лет назад +1517

    You mean how do these wanna be satanic bands try to look and sound evil? Simple..profanity.curse Jesus.religion.God.violence and animal torture.these are lame acts that just there to scare people..to just look badass..evil and tough..cus here to be metal..u need to pretend youre evil and duh..worship Satan?!.its all just image..just to sell..U need to be evil looking so your records wud sell 4 that macho tough evil sounding..hey look were Satanists..were badass and violent..and u wud go like..Yeah thats metal! NO DUDE thats just plain shallow n lame..these groups are just here 4 the attention and fad cus everyone in Norway is doing it..so y dont we? If you really are "evil"youd not be an artist..yud be in prison..having killed someone or murdered a family for real..Now that is Evil!!!!

    • @Pagefire
      @Pagefire  5 лет назад +919

      This is the weirdest URL I've ever seen.

    • @manichburgundy
      @manichburgundy 5 лет назад +238

      I sincerely hope you are joking...

    • @dexterj5615
      @dexterj5615 5 лет назад +74

      You crazy Norwegians

    • @ghoul2164
      @ghoul2164 5 лет назад +106

      Depends. Some black metal is really evil and I support it.

    • @lostmedia-e6p
      @lostmedia-e6p 5 лет назад +33

      @@Pagefire It's the type of url you'd find on the Deep Web. You're not evil enough to know the Deep Web, are you?! YOU.RE NOTE VIL E NUFFFF

  • @delirium636
    @delirium636 5 лет назад +3065

    The fact that the song was a actual good black metal song shows how correct he is

    • @arifmemovic3383
      @arifmemovic3383 5 лет назад +238

      I agree. This dude knows what hes talking about and is a seriously good metal musician.

    • @Not_me9791
      @Not_me9791 5 лет назад +50

      Well, good song... but he’s not right! I could do the same for heavy metal, pop music, rock...

    • @dwoh4345
      @dwoh4345 5 лет назад +38

      or he just said some bulshit and then made a good song the 2 unrelated(mostly)

    • @iamwamiam
      @iamwamiam 5 лет назад +58

      Except the song was nothing like he described earlier on in the vid lol. He just made a good song.

    • @Nemcija
      @Nemcija 5 лет назад +2

      I love it! :D

  • @ZekeNigma
    @ZekeNigma 5 лет назад +1512

    "I am your slave, daddy"
    You did it! You broke typical black metal lyrics down to their bare essentials!

    • @davidong3325
      @davidong3325 4 года назад +17

      DON'T BE STUPID ITS THE ACTUAL LYRICS

    • @TheCorose
      @TheCorose 4 года назад +5

      That's part of a reggaeton song hehehe

    • @microsoftpain
      @microsoftpain 4 года назад +3

      this comment has 666 likes now lmao

    • @woodenhoe
      @woodenhoe 4 года назад +42

      Submissive Black Metal

    • @CureFruit1
      @CureFruit1 4 года назад +8

      thats a family values lyric.😂

  • @xyzcreate
    @xyzcreate 5 лет назад +3936

    *Norwegian Man tries to make fun of Norwegian Black Metal but accidentally records a masterpiece*
    There's no escaping it, it's in your blood!

    • @Reragi
      @Reragi 5 лет назад +229

      what blood? you mean in his absinthe?

    • @johncarter9399
      @johncarter9399 5 лет назад +94

      He needs to accept his destiny.

    • @Tonxonious
      @Tonxonious 5 лет назад +81

      Agreed, that track was killer

    • @samaragon2923
      @samaragon2923 5 лет назад +61

      TRUE KVLT

    • @Vintersemestre00
      @Vintersemestre00 4 года назад +19

      Everything he makes is really good. This guy is awesome.

  • @floridamancode_e2673
    @floridamancode_e2673 5 лет назад +1626

    So this is like the 3rd video of yours I've seen and so far the formula is
    Step 1) make fun of a genre
    Step 2) record a banger of a song in that genre
    Step 3) pretend like it was shit.
    And honestly im ok with this

  • @tojge
    @tojge 5 лет назад +933

    Alright, so, I have a friend who works as a DJ at a metal club, I've persuaded him to play the song from the end as a joke, everyone rocked out like mad, it was so funny to watch knowing the backstory :) thank you for that glorious moment Pagefire! A few people did ask later "what band was that?" but we were like, "they're TRVE KVLT, you're not supposed to know" :)

    • @Pagefire
      @Pagefire  5 лет назад +330

      Holy shit that's awesome.

    • @L0stInNeverland
      @L0stInNeverland 5 лет назад +15

      gde se to desilo?

    • @tojge
      @tojge 4 года назад +19

      @@L0stInNeverland Problem Nightclub, mada se tada zvao Klub Pulse, Ruzveltova. Sorry što kasnim sa odgovorom, nije mi izašla notifikacija, slučajno sad videh pitanje...

    • @fallenknightofthelight3842
      @fallenknightofthelight3842 3 года назад +2

      @@tojge? ⛧

    • @wind-upboy939
      @wind-upboy939 3 года назад

      \m/ Awesome \m/

  • @willowsparks4576
    @willowsparks4576 5 лет назад +1751

    I absolutely died at 'Does your church look a bit cold?' XD

    • @koffieverslaafde627
      @koffieverslaafde627 5 лет назад +22

      Willow Sparks lets make it warm shall we

    • @willowsparks4576
      @willowsparks4576 5 лет назад +13

      dogenator I hope Varg Vikcernes knows how to turn on a radiator

    • @photoboy2005
      @photoboy2005 5 лет назад +9

      Willow Sparks I even answered. “Yes it does, we should warm it up”

    • @mararaisanen5696
      @mararaisanen5696 5 лет назад +7

      I don't wanna ruin the number of likes. xD

    • @willowsparks4576
      @willowsparks4576 5 лет назад +5

      someone did :(

  • @TheCount-y7e
    @TheCount-y7e 5 лет назад +291

    "One time, a band called Mayhem"
    Ahhhh, here we go again

  • @QUK_DDCT
    @QUK_DDCT 5 лет назад +1346

    Satan will never answer your screams because the production quality is too good

    • @Sleepyhead101
      @Sleepyhead101 4 года назад +14

      666 likes
      Never mind we are going to summon satan from this

    • @ryanwilliams1803
      @ryanwilliams1803 3 года назад +4

      THere actually was at one time a period of well produced black metal in the 2000s and that stuff can be really fantastic

    • @Polyruidoso
      @Polyruidoso 3 года назад +1

      You mean symphonic Black Metal?

    • @ryanwilliams1803
      @ryanwilliams1803 3 года назад +2

      @@Polyruidoso Yes in fact though you dont have to be symphonic to make well produced BM. Anyways, A great example is Siebenburgen and their album Delictum.. High production value and some amazing melodic riffs. the high production allows for powerful drums and very clear listening of the ornate guitar riffs. And another fantastic one is Sirius's Aeons of Magick

    • @connector_studios
      @connector_studios 3 года назад +1

      that sounds like some bm lyrics

  • @adeadgirl13
    @adeadgirl13 5 лет назад +356

    I'm so Trve Kvlt that even I haven't heard my own songs.

    • @simen9155
      @simen9155 4 года назад +5

      I gave the 69th like. N I C E

    • @GraveyardShift-tl6ri
      @GraveyardShift-tl6ri 2 года назад +5

      holy fuck dude these comments ARE SO GOOD

    • @Insanabiliter_In_Linea
      @Insanabiliter_In_Linea Месяц назад

      You have to be blackout drunk whenever you write songs so that not even _you_ know that you make music, otherwise you aren't Trvv Kvlt enovgh.

  • @lolallday08
    @lolallday08 5 лет назад +276

    "Does your local church seem a bit cold to you?"
    **chef's kiss**

  • @fartvader84yearsago8
    @fartvader84yearsago8 5 лет назад +1118

    Imagine if Norway didn't have forest. Black metal would have never existed

    • @YPO6
      @YPO6 5 лет назад +99

      Fjord metal.

    • @IronMan-uf6gj
      @IronMan-uf6gj 5 лет назад +18

      As america never had a river and desert blues wouldn't exist 😂

    • @oseanian3834
      @oseanian3834 5 лет назад +14

      Black metal have existed before Norwegian scene. Like Venom

    • @kiritobi
      @kiritobi 5 лет назад +6

      Icelanders do'nt have problems with that

    • @joetrosclair8434
      @joetrosclair8434 5 лет назад +6

      Now imagine if Tony Iommi hadn’t accidentally cut off his fingertips before quitting his job to do Black Sabbath full time 😉

  • @lucastickney7939
    @lucastickney7939 5 лет назад +1917

    I only listen to TRUE Norwegian black metal. Only five people know it. The band, and me.

    • @boxtube6533
      @boxtube6533 5 лет назад +194

      But are you part of the band? If not, then it’s not trve enough

    • @mantiqor
      @mantiqor 5 лет назад +125

      @@boxtube6533 Maybe he`s the one who owns the basement they practice and record in... Still not trve enovgh

    • @boxtube6533
      @boxtube6533 5 лет назад +76

      mantiqor I think yov mean the cave. Perhaps he’s the hostage the band is keeping for their next sacrifice to Satan?

    • @almarc
      @almarc 5 лет назад +43

      @@boxtube6533 He's the goat.

    • @hieronymusnervig8712
      @hieronymusnervig8712 5 лет назад +19

      That's one too much, someone must... go. If you know what I mean.

  • @dr.gojira2240
    @dr.gojira2240 5 лет назад +934

    God this channel is underrated.

  • @blackheavyblans
    @blackheavyblans 5 лет назад +696

    The best moment of black metal:
    Interviewer: What is the primary ideology of primary ideas that fuel Gorgoroth's music?
    *silence moment*
    Gaahl: satan.

    • @virra98
      @virra98 5 лет назад +107

      *sips wine out of gothic vampire cup*

    • @Slothhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
      @Slothhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh 4 года назад +7

      *sips wine

    • @needfoolthings
      @needfoolthings 4 года назад +19

      He even pronounced the s uncapitalzed.

    • @blitzenwisnia1938
      @blitzenwisnia1938 4 года назад +7

      Then he went on to marry a guy

    • @BababooeyGooey
      @BababooeyGooey 4 года назад +22

      Gaahl is actually a wholesome and chill dude. One of the few "deep" black metal dudes to not be a total freak.

  • @NinjaContravaniaManX
    @NinjaContravaniaManX 5 лет назад +188

    I will record the most brvtal BM the world has ever heard. It will feature:
    - my mom's sewing machine for drums
    - a chainsaw and an old volvo engine for guitar sounds
    - the flatulence of an elephant for bass
    - the screams of on 8-year old kid who can't log on to fortnite
    - a 90's phone answering machine to record it all
    - and last but not least, the most evil thing: for the mixing process, I will use a modern computer with realtek oboard soundchip... AnD wINdOWs 10 dRIvErs!!!
    BM will never be the same, posers.

  • @coltermerriman5911
    @coltermerriman5911 5 лет назад +795

    Hey, all jokes aside, this guy knocked out a banger at the end there.

  • @RobinTurner
    @RobinTurner 5 лет назад +398

    Be careful with the thesaurus - use it too much and you end up with symphonic metal lyrics.

    • @Pagefire
      @Pagefire  5 лет назад +99

      Good point.

    • @bt3743
      @bt3743 4 года назад +9

      @@thegrindcoreenthusiast7293 OP just said symphonic metal. Calm your tits

    • @ZacharyTheJackal
      @ZacharyTheJackal 4 года назад +3

      @@thegrindcoreenthusiast7293 Yeah dude calm down. There is no reason to react that way.

    • @thegrindcoreenthusiast7293
      @thegrindcoreenthusiast7293 4 года назад +2

      @@ZacharyTheJackal, Oh. Sorry. Did Not See That Before.

    • @thegrindcoreenthusiast7293
      @thegrindcoreenthusiast7293 4 года назад +2

      @@bt3743, Nevermind Then.

  • @ShuriBear
    @ShuriBear 5 лет назад +357

    I came from your Grindcore video and I am astonished how less subscribers you have with this kind of production value. I love the "how to" series. Keep it up!

    • @josephblanchard6248
      @josephblanchard6248 5 лет назад +1

      Same here. And also same here.

    • @josephblanchard6248
      @josephblanchard6248 5 лет назад

      This is the exact type of quality that you just expect to have atleast $1million subscribers when you go and see the amount as you're pushing the subscribe button yourself! So I just figured that this is just a pretty new channel, since you know, the quality content is already up there with the big boy channels of RUclips.

    • @josephblanchard6248
      @josephblanchard6248 5 лет назад +2

      And also, this dude could just be a commenter on any genre, place or thing, and it would just be the most entertaining channel on here. Because I'd love to hear him talk about sports, music, movies, TV shows and just *anything* else in general tho man lol.

    • @alexanderplatypus3664
      @alexanderplatypus3664 3 года назад

      I don't want to say it, but it could be his appearance... overweight, glasses, facial hair. Also the accent. Usually "big" channels have some attractive looking person behind them...
      I agree with what you said though, this video series is AMAZING in terms of the technical sides of how to create music in these genres. And the fact he makes an actual song (or more) at the end is AWESOME as well. My only real complaint is sometimes he's overly critical and dismissive of some of the genres, there's a line between gentle mockery and actually being a dickhead towards it

  • @blakecurtis7809
    @blakecurtis7809 5 лет назад +111

    One time a band called MAYHEM was staying at a cabin and they all hated each other.
    Yeah that's basically every band.

  • @huolong437
    @huolong437 4 года назад +60

    The guy who made the captions in Spanish is really a genius. They even changed the spelling of Cangrejo (crab) to Kangrejo (krabbe satan)

  • @alwaysoozingsomething2290
    @alwaysoozingsomething2290 5 лет назад +377

    you say "sing about castles" like every song shouldn't be about castles

    • @Pagefire
      @Pagefire  5 лет назад +53

      You know, you got us there.

    • @BlaBla-pf8mf
      @BlaBla-pf8mf 5 лет назад +12

      Is this an alt of Shadiversity?

    • @oopsyboops4806
      @oopsyboops4806 5 лет назад +3

      @@Pagefire can you do a how do be deathgrind video I'm waiting and hoping eventually this will happen in good time

    • @thebiglich
      @thebiglich 5 лет назад +9

      @@BlaBla-pf8mf imagine shadiversity making a video about the medieval realism of black metal lyric castles

  • @tomasochoa
    @tomasochoa 5 лет назад +760

    You didn't paint your face for the video
    0/10 basically unlistenable

    • @MrSFblack
      @MrSFblack 4 года назад +29

      And the production didn't sound crappy enough

    • @shesh_o
      @shesh_o 4 года назад +9

      Remember he didn't got the make up, his friend had no money, and also him, of course.

    • @sicroyalty
      @sicroyalty 4 года назад +7

      Sounded like a good song, not KVLT enuff

    • @brostenen
      @brostenen 4 года назад +5

      That makes him even more black metal. Becauuuuse.... Corps paint is mainstream within the BlacMetal community. Ahhh... Get it. 😉

    • @ScreamingSkullSaloon
      @ScreamingSkullSaloon 4 года назад +4

      His roommate and him did not have any more money for face paint and if they did they would have to have driven all the way to Oslo to get some.

  • @Controverze
    @Controverze 5 лет назад +63

    "I think i accidentally wrote an Immortal song..."
    GG, you got a chuckle out of me

  • @PaulTheSkeptic
    @PaulTheSkeptic 5 лет назад +105

    Hm. Okay. "Barney is my dark lord, when I sing about him my throat gets sore. When I play D&D, I play as Barney the dinosaur...." Hey you're right. This is easy.

  • @lobsterhelmet348
    @lobsterhelmet348 5 лет назад +69

    I've been playing black metal for roughly 15 years. And I have to say, all of this is true. More than once I've recorded a demo straight into a tape recorder and dumped it onto even cheaper cassettes. It's dumb, cheesy, and sound like canned ass, but I still love it.

    • @mgradiant
      @mgradiant 2 года назад +11

      Wow! A Black Metal artist self-aware of their own memeness. You, sir/ma’am/whichever gender you prefer, have my respect!

    • @etfluezu9161
      @etfluezu9161 3 месяца назад

      people these days unironically listen to asmr why feeling bad for having a soft spot in your heart for black metal? :)

  • @joebates7545
    @joebates7545 5 лет назад +193

    Hilarious without sounding condescending. You clearly understand Black Metal, but can still poke fun at it.
    Subscribed.

    • @t.a.8380
      @t.a.8380 5 лет назад +9

      Joe Bates this entire video shows that he doesn’t understand it very well at all. Just picks all the stereotypes and exaggerates them. I didn’t find any of it funny I can’t even believe I got through the entire video.

    • @IronMan-uf6gj
      @IronMan-uf6gj 5 лет назад +1

      Lol he understands shit about black metal, he is a cock head.

    • @markcreemore4915
      @markcreemore4915 5 лет назад +37

      All these humorless kvlt klovvns getting butthurt because he doesnt take every aspect of BM with profound seriousness.
      It's just a subgenre of music, relax kids.

    • @TheRealSaintNickNorthside
      @TheRealSaintNickNorthside 5 лет назад +5

      @@markcreemore4915 It's not, it's a way of life. Why the _fuck_ do you think I live in the North Pole nigga?

    • @TheRealSaintNickNorthside
      @TheRealSaintNickNorthside 5 лет назад +3

      But on the real I didn't laugh either, these guys are just run of the mill nerds that lack creativity, albeit they can minimally mimic other artists very well. That's what you get for having great intellectual abilities and no soul.

  • @alexmaragh7766
    @alexmaragh7766 5 лет назад +137

    needs to be watched at 144p for the music video

    • @tremapar
      @tremapar 5 лет назад +1

      OMG that's perfect
      Also, band recommendations for fans of Skumle Natt - Nattesverd? Their use of dingdingding is amazing

    • @thulsa_doom
      @thulsa_doom 5 лет назад

      I actually did it

  • @SaulGoodman-jo2hb
    @SaulGoodman-jo2hb 5 лет назад +525

    You forgot to pick an ideology! Mix elements from satanism, nihilism, fascism and lord of the rings

    • @hartwinstein7434
      @hartwinstein7434 5 лет назад +105

      you forgot Paganism and Depression

    • @Nantosuelta
      @Nantosuelta 5 лет назад +70

      March of the unholy heathen nazgul gestapo
      Satanic pagan third reich uruk hai
      Onslaught of hells nazi ring wraiths
      Futility of mordor's blackened chalice
      theres your black metal ep right there

    • @indigohalf
      @indigohalf 5 лет назад +26

      Hey now, Red Anarchist Black Metal is an option too.

    • @zephyrna6249
      @zephyrna6249 5 лет назад +25

      @@indigohalf *gets stabbed in the head and back 15 times*

    • @einzelfeuer_2855
      @einzelfeuer_2855 5 лет назад +2

      @@zephyrna6249 *also deserves it for being a freak and making threats against people*

  • @kylevanzyl6452
    @kylevanzyl6452 5 лет назад +504

    Actually it's only Black Metal if it's made in the Kvlt region of France. Otherwise it's just Sparkling Death Metal

    • @timothymuscat1728
      @timothymuscat1728 5 лет назад +17

      Underrated comment

    • @thodorisk9031
      @thodorisk9031 5 лет назад +13

      Best comment ive seen all day

    • @rippedtorn2310
      @rippedtorn2310 5 лет назад +8

      Stop being genuinely amusing on You-Tube .

    • @xtexaschainsawx
      @xtexaschainsawx 5 лет назад +1

      True.

    • @southofheck
      @southofheck 4 года назад +6

      Sparkling Death Metal is a series of words i never thought id read but im gonna be using for the rest of my life now. God- er... Satan bless you(?)

  • @FLOURISHFAMILYENT
    @FLOURISHFAMILYENT 2 года назад +25

    This channel is a hidden gem. I can not stress that enough. This how to content is to me better then alot of the more major channels

  • @chimpinaneckbrace
    @chimpinaneckbrace 5 лет назад +102

    The Tommy Wiseau 'Dawn of the Black Hearts' album cover made me spit-laugh beer all over my laptop sceen. We do have fun here.

  • @RepulsionAudio
    @RepulsionAudio 5 лет назад +467

    not kvlt enough, can actually hear what notes you're playing

  • @JunkyardGod
    @JunkyardGod 5 лет назад +223

    THE GOAT IS FOR LATER
    you gots a new sub 😁

  • @queerspirit2995
    @queerspirit2995 5 лет назад +192

    "Norwegian Black Metal is just Black Metal with branding," Finally, someone said it. It's also pretty nationalist.

    • @robintherainbow8020
      @robintherainbow8020 4 года назад +32

      It ranges from relatively unproblematic to full on neonazis. There are some cool artists (Like Dypfryst, check them out, they're cool), But you also ofc have to be wary of nazis, and it's really annoying. Same with history reenacting groups and stuff like that. It's at the point where some viking fencing reenacting groups do a full on background check on you to be completely sure you're not some nazi edgelord. Pretty depressing shit

    • @robintherainbow8020
      @robintherainbow8020 4 года назад +23

      @ Nationalism is fine as long as it isn't used to push people away, or discriminate. King Harald V here in Norway is great at this. Bringing everyone together under the identity of Norwegian, no matter your religion or skin tone.
      But too often, nationalism is used to discriminate of harass, which is why Nationalism usually sounds bad to a lot of people. It brings back some memories of Germany, or more recently, "nationalist" terror attacks seeking to cleanse the nation.

    • @Nattyplatinum
      @Nattyplatinum 3 года назад +12

      @@robintherainbow8020 if you’re not from fucking Norway, and your fucking parents are not from Norway. Then you’re not fucking Norwegian.

    • @Hoodpartisan
      @Hoodpartisan 3 года назад +2

      @@Nattyplatinum this

    • @alexanderplatypus3664
      @alexanderplatypus3664 3 года назад +8

      It's just it adds to the mystique of the genre... gives it somewhat a rooted identity. The idea of like it being freezing cold, kind of a "frontier wasteland" of a nation, harsh natural elements, the fact christianity came sort of late and so there is a deeper pagan tradition still, links to viking past of glamorizing war and individuality, all that stuff
      Black metal exists globally at this point, in countries without really any christian religion dominating, where you'd think praising satan wouldn't even be appropriate. But it's the general sentiment involved. Basically black metal is like "goths but more aggressive and intense"

  • @EveEvangel
    @EveEvangel 5 лет назад +205

    having worked with some really TRVE people of the Central European scene in the early 90ies who were in reality virgins still living with their parents I found this to be very entertaining and accurate.

  • @Casketkrusher_
    @Casketkrusher_ 5 лет назад +153

    "No, no, no! Don't play those church chords, have you forgotten who our enemies are?" I literally peed myself this is beyond genius 😂

  • @Imnotsure0987
    @Imnotsure0987 5 лет назад +30

    This. This is why I LOVE Black Metal. I is so goofy and fun and glam and people take it so seriously and think you are so evil cause you wear a inverted cross. It is amazing Trve Kvlt.

  • @Kimberly-x2h
    @Kimberly-x2h 5 лет назад +271

    **happy viking noises**

    • @Floatfacedown7
      @Floatfacedown7 3 года назад +2

      Get the hell out of this genre look at your profile

    • @blacksaltscotland
      @blacksaltscotland 3 года назад +7

      @@Floatfacedown7 he commented a memey comment on a memey video... calm your tits

    • @bananahat1814
      @bananahat1814 3 года назад +3

      Oh shut up, can’t we just enjoy anime and black metal? This kinda shit is why I can’t stand a lot of metal fans.

    • @blacksaltscotland
      @blacksaltscotland 3 года назад +3

      @@bananahat1814 agreed. Even though I can't fucking stand anime and do joke around with weeb jokes, it's just jokes. Honestly I couldn't give a shit

    • @suicideisproofoflife51119
      @suicideisproofoflife51119 3 года назад

      Anime isn't trash there are great animes & mangas depends on which kinds of animes you're into harem anime is the worst

  • @MrSFblack
    @MrSFblack 4 года назад +446

    What's Varg doing these days?
    *Making WatchMojo content but more racist*

    • @SeatLeonMK2
      @SeatLeonMK2 4 года назад +12

      how is that racist

    • @veneficus582
      @veneficus582 4 года назад +27

      He's based and redpilled

    • @woffe8094
      @woffe8094 4 года назад +54

      @@veneficus582 he's straight up racist

    • @veneficus582
      @veneficus582 4 года назад +19

      @@woffe8094 He's not, but there's nothing wrong with that really

    • @ejl1000
      @ejl1000 4 года назад +61

      @@veneficus582 Nothing wrong with being racist? Fucking what.

  • @mikesimpson3207
    @mikesimpson3207 4 года назад +30

    "The goat is for later..."
    I have died.

  • @nabeelwork2747
    @nabeelwork2747 5 лет назад +260

    how to make black metal
    1.find washing machine
    2.throw brick in it and start it
    3.?????
    4.Profit

    • @joeboccuto6830
      @joeboccuto6830 5 лет назад +31

      If you profit from black metal you are not trve

    • @l-HEAVY-SNIPER-l
      @l-HEAVY-SNIPER-l 5 лет назад +1

      Nabeel Work that makes no sense but ok lmao

    • @NorthernWind26
      @NorthernWind26 5 лет назад

      I agree

    • @britta-alrikobrien-nikkola9818
      @britta-alrikobrien-nikkola9818 5 лет назад +2

      ROFLMAO I just happen to have a washing machine on my back porch right now. I have it outside because my house is just that darn small, I live in tiny POS. To keep the lid of the washer closed there is a brick sitting on it.
      I already have my drummer picked out.
      Never mind the fact that I play drums myself, I can be lazy and the washer can be drummer.

  • @Lora_1113
    @Lora_1113 5 лет назад +31

    You put so much work and time into this video and I'm showing it to all my friends. You, sir, are a pride to our metal community.

  • @GabrielGAS1201
    @GabrielGAS1201 5 лет назад +1406

    "he's making watch mojo content...but more racist" LOL

    • @alanheyes694
      @alanheyes694 5 лет назад +70

      gabriel saboya He is a proud tribalist, in all fairness.

    • @Nantosuelta
      @Nantosuelta 5 лет назад +77

      Varg is the dude

    • @nemesisencounter2060
      @nemesisencounter2060 5 лет назад +75

      @@alanheyes694 he's an asshole

    • @KimchiYeo
      @KimchiYeo 5 лет назад +22

      acism is fun: it seperates the weaklings from the alpha's

    • @mistermystery1999
      @mistermystery1999 5 лет назад +56

      @@nemesisencounter2060 nah he's pretty cool

  • @endlesswanderer1753
    @endlesswanderer1753 5 лет назад +20

    This is going to sound stupid, but when I was an edgy teenager I would fall asleep to black metal. I was nodding off in the middle of your example song, so that's surely a sign of how damn good it is. I pavlov'd my damn circadian rhythm into being activated by blast beats and tremolo-picked chords. Well done sir.

  • @jomy10-games
    @jomy10-games 5 лет назад +28

    "Does your local church look a bit cold to you?"
    Omg, I'm dying.

  • @duncanmilne8691
    @duncanmilne8691 5 лет назад +180

    production too good. not kvlt enough.

    • @HughMansonMD
      @HughMansonMD 5 лет назад +5

      I can understand lyrics, so not kvlt..

    • @duncanmilne8691
      @duncanmilne8691 5 лет назад +2

      @@HughMansonMD well.. its kind of easy when the lyrics are shown..

    • @HughMansonMD
      @HughMansonMD 5 лет назад +4

      @@duncanmilne8691 exactly, trve kvlt would still sound like a bunch of snarly, one syllable shrieks with pauses between them and then the lyrics would show up in Norse.

  • @dracosol4415
    @dracosol4415 5 лет назад +28

    "Optionally film it in winter"
    You mean *mandatory*

  • @jhstatts888
    @jhstatts888 5 лет назад +107

    Your satirical song is just as good as any trve kvlt BM. Please make a record.

  • @Redleg615
    @Redleg615 4 года назад +53

    Vargs face popping up at the beginning caused me to laugh uncontrollably for ten minutes. So glad for this channel

  • @sanataissick
    @sanataissick 5 лет назад +177

    What is this K-pop crap?! You were supposed to sell your soul to our lord and savour Dark Lord Behsåattanôs. Not to Nuclear Blast.

  • @arietz86
    @arietz86 5 лет назад +103

    One of the most accurate description of Norwegian black metal I ever seen!

    • @IronMan-uf6gj
      @IronMan-uf6gj 5 лет назад

      You know shit about black metal. I tell youabout blues as much as you know about black metal. Blues is playing guitar and singing about something said while you looking at river. That is it.

    • @williamyoungkin
      @williamyoungkin 5 лет назад +6

      @@IronMan-uf6gj its gonna be ok

  • @joniden2215
    @joniden2215 5 лет назад +16

    This and Goniloc are criminally underrated channels.
    You sir have a new subscriber.

  • @Volcodom
    @Volcodom 5 лет назад +61

    I came because I'm genuinely interested in black metal as a genre. I stayed because Varg and WM got burned. But I subscribed for lord Sobek. Also the track was genuinely pretty cool!

  • @newmzy0
    @newmzy0 5 лет назад +45

    As Homer Simpson once said: "it's funny because it's true".

  • @mileshill7196
    @mileshill7196 5 лет назад +70

    >all hail lord Sobek
    I see you’re a man of kvltvre as well.

    • @johannaderee4763
      @johannaderee4763 4 года назад +4

      came here to say the exact same thing

    • @urm9.m
      @urm9.m 4 года назад +2

      "...and once more we THREATEN TO AWAKEN HIS ANGER"

  • @DonP818
    @DonP818 5 лет назад +21

    Why I hadn’t discovered this sooner truly upsets me. Also the songs end up pretty damn sick. Great work dude!

    • @kvadratbitter
      @kvadratbitter 5 лет назад

      DonP818 it was uploaded a month ago... easily upset?

  • @dracula7919
    @dracula7919 5 лет назад +17

    I can’t believe how good the end result actually sounds like.. :O

  • @buttp0under420
    @buttp0under420 5 лет назад +40

    Can't wait for this channel to blow up

    • @einzelfeuer_2855
      @einzelfeuer_2855 5 лет назад +4

      *FBI is now monitoring your future comments based on keyword algorithms*

    • @MrYowen88
      @MrYowen88 5 лет назад +1

      naw keep it kvlt

  • @PuresG1ft
    @PuresG1ft 5 лет назад +24

    Would listen to the full album on bandcamp.

  • @bryans138
    @bryans138 5 лет назад +5

    Please don't ever stop making these. I haven't laughed this hard in a while.

  • @ArchangelSteve
    @ArchangelSteve 5 лет назад +74

    Subbed, Hail Sobek!

  • @heatherlennox3695
    @heatherlennox3695 5 лет назад +15

    Everything that's fun about Norwegian Black Metal wrapped up in one short film

  • @cheyiokoaye2007
    @cheyiokoaye2007 5 лет назад +4

    This is my new fav channel. Been thinking of getting into playing BM for a while and this just gave me a bunch of ideas

  • @SomethingImpromptu
    @SomethingImpromptu 5 лет назад +28

    Your track came out really well at the end. I’m pretty picky with black metal, but I really like the first track or two on Dissected’s Storm of the Light’s Bain (cray to think it’s like 25 years old now). And I’d be lying if I said Mayhem, Emperor, Gorgoroth & others didn’t have some tracks I can get down with. Most of what I listen to these days is more melodic, even if it’s very distorted, but as far as black metal goes, outside of the bands that have literal operatic style melodic vocals (Dimmu Borgir? I don’t remember that many melodic black metal bands), I’d say they were relatively melodic. Also, the piano tracks Impromptu (Allegro Maestoso) by Japanese black metal band Sigh is absolutely beautiful. That was always a favorite- very unique.
    Also, I have to say: I appreciate that you brought up Varg’s xenophobic far-right bullshit. It’s acrually hilarious to me- *of course* the members of a subculture which literally want to embody EVIL get into that kind of politics- really speaks volumes. I’ve met plenty of punk kids who like the idea of anarchism & also like black metal aesthetics, but you don’t meet a lot of people on the left who literally aspire to be evil & worship Satan xD On the other hand, I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: Ayn Rand’s (and other extreme individualist social Darwinist types’) philosophy is literally the same as LeVeyan Satanism, or Thelema, or other dark occult (as opposed to light occult/esoteric) philosophies & religions, except without the “religious” iconography. It boils down to “Do whatever your ego wants you to do, regardless of the harm it causes others, and actually being absolutely ruthless, cruel, and sadistic towards others in pursuit of your own self-gain is 100% ethically justified so don’t feel bad about it.” This overlaps with a lot of other, slightly more watered down capitalist ideology, but at any rate... I don’t fux with it. If anybody is going to get into esoteric/occult/spiritual philosophy, go with the light shit. That’s where people are chill and actually have fun and look out for each other and don’t end up looking like a somehow even more racist old Charles Manson hermit. Haha.

    • @alexanderplatypus3664
      @alexanderplatypus3664 3 года назад

      Can't have light without dark
      It's just about acknowledging part of reality and instinct, etc
      It's an aesthetic experience and can be very meaningful, the intensity and passion in "dark" things are more profound. On a larger scale, it's kind of comparing metal to pop. It's more fun and less challenging to just bop your head to Beyonce or whatever, and feel good about things. But... is that really all life is? Or has to be

  • @Hosenlatzwilly
    @Hosenlatzwilly 2 года назад +3

    "Add some Dingdingding"
    *Fenriz has left the Chat*

  • @kassemir
    @kassemir 5 лет назад +65

    "Now press some casette tapes and some vinyls, and don't tell any one you exist" :D
    Brilliant!

  • @mile0141
    @mile0141 5 лет назад +73

    pleaseeee do one on slam :•)

    • @DailyAaron
      @DailyAaron 5 лет назад +1

      I second that thought!

  • @FRZNGLSRBM
    @FRZNGLSRBM 5 лет назад +7

    I haven't laughed so hard in a while! And then song was actually pretty good imo. Great video!

  • @SamA-cw3be
    @SamA-cw3be 5 лет назад +2

    I can’t believe you actually put the real history of Norwegian black metal. You actually kinda treated the genre with respect. Something I didn’t expect when I clicked on this video. Thank you

  • @DarknessBrothersPT
    @DarknessBrothersPT 5 лет назад +4

    Wow, this is an actual masterpiece, I love how the music begins.

  • @oliverelpero
    @oliverelpero 5 лет назад +38

    you're absolutely right on everything and it pisses me off how predictable we are lmao

  • @namlessandshameless4461
    @namlessandshameless4461 5 лет назад +35

    *The goat is for later* 🤘🏻😂
    Edit: song is legit

  • @ExplizitDuester
    @ExplizitDuester 5 лет назад +17

    How has this only this much views? This video format is gold, I came here from your grindcore video and if you keep this up your subscribtions hopefully go through the roof.

  • @LeftyConspirator
    @LeftyConspirator 4 года назад +8

    Norway was a fucking ride in the nineties.

  • @TheBlackKnight1o1
    @TheBlackKnight1o1 4 года назад +24

    Varg: Hates God and Christianity
    Also Varg: Names his music after a place in a Christian author's book

    • @flatterswhite
      @flatterswhite 4 года назад +6

      German guy: I hate hitler
      also German guy: is german

    • @flatterswhite
      @flatterswhite 4 года назад

      @MetalBrush I suppose Hitler and the rest of Austria nearly took over the world then

    • @astyrvela
      @astyrvela 4 года назад

      Lotr has nothing to do with christianity. Idk about Tolkien but the book is mostly inspired by Norse mythology so...

    • @TheBlackKnight1o1
      @TheBlackKnight1o1 4 года назад +6

      @@astyrvela Tolkien was a major Christian, he famously converted C.S. Lewis.
      His books do contain Biblical themes and references, even if they are not overtly Christian allegories like Lewis's Chronicles of Narnia.
      It's just kinda funny to me.

    • @alexanderplatypus3664
      @alexanderplatypus3664 3 года назад

      The thing about Satanism is it actually validates traditional religions a lot
      True "anti religion" is just straightforward atheism
      But yeah Burzum's output is partial "folk" not just entirely black metal, so it ties a lot into mythology, fiction and so on. That is true for other black metal work too sometimes.

  • @ulfdanielsen6009
    @ulfdanielsen6009 5 лет назад +35

    Dødeman Den Onde.
    ( Evil Deadman )
    Best name ever.
    This is hilarious.
    Salutatem Infernum from Denmark.

  • @IronreaverVII
    @IronreaverVII 5 лет назад +9

    I can't wait to see this channel blow up and get the viewcounts it deserves.

  • @thehorriblebright
    @thehorriblebright 5 лет назад +10

    The Sobek background caught me totally off guard. I love when my youtube subs collide.

  • @anapoda7854
    @anapoda7854 2 года назад +2

    I like it how you showed carach angren at 4:48, which is actually a Dutch black metalband! Still really recommend them tho! Nice video!

  • @mayravixx25
    @mayravixx25 5 лет назад +3

    How have I never found your channel until now? I genuinely had a hard time trying to stop laughing.

  • @mykedrought
    @mykedrought 5 лет назад +12

    Absolutely great video! I enjoy how many cool references you manage to crump inside (HAIL SOBEK!) while keeping it entertaining and easy to get into. I'm definitely clicking that bell thing!

  • @ScreamBloodyGwar
    @ScreamBloodyGwar 5 лет назад +7

    Where have your and Goniloc's channle been all my life! Awesome vids. You should do one for US power metal or speed metal(spread awareness of these underrated genres...or something) ah anything is cool, I want more of this series.

  • @newtdevaychet
    @newtdevaychet 4 года назад +3

    The middle finger to the very far away church murdered me 😂

  • @tguitars5056
    @tguitars5056 5 лет назад +1

    Good Job on the video, quite entertaining and good production on the song in the end. Made me giggle several times

  • @Jaspertine
    @Jaspertine 5 лет назад +7

    "Does your local church look a bit cold to you?" LMAO!

  • @reigninoel
    @reigninoel 5 лет назад +16

    "DØDEMANNEN ONDE"
    *dies lavghing*

  • @indigohalf
    @indigohalf 5 лет назад +9

    I sure was not expecting to see a Sobek joke on Metal RUclips.

  • @MeowthDatsRight
    @MeowthDatsRight 5 лет назад +3

    Just discovered your channel because a friend sent me this video. Man, i fucking loved this! It was excellent. All of it!!
    I remember reading somewhere that Satyricon uses like...ESP Eclipse guitars (with active pickups i’m sure), and Mesa Boogie amps. I wanted to be able to replicate something like that with my own guitar and amp. With my set up, imagine Ulver converted into an electromagnetic signal and blasted through a police scanner.
    Anyway, keep being awesome! Love your stuff :)

  • @NateSassoonMusic
    @NateSassoonMusic 5 лет назад +1

    the switch up at 12:49 in the black metal song is so cool

  • @IAmDaveInLA
    @IAmDaveInLA 3 года назад +2

    You guys are hilarious! I appreciate the work you put in and the massive talent in these videos. Not a fan of black metal but I learned a lot and appreciate learning

  • @Hainbach
    @Hainbach 5 лет назад +3

    Bravo!

  • @andreabonomelli5263
    @andreabonomelli5263 5 лет назад +12

    “U” did not existed in the Latin alphabet and “V” was used instead

    • @Aireleria2078
      @Aireleria2078 5 лет назад +2

      I thought it was because V is more... edgy

  • @daze9015
    @daze9015 5 лет назад +11

    Don't forget: If your band has only 2 or 3 listeners, then you're doing a good job

    • @MrYowen88
      @MrYowen88 5 лет назад

      I only have one listener... people with 2-3 listeners are posers

    • @daze9015
      @daze9015 5 лет назад

      @@MrYowen88 You right. However, having no listeners at all is trve kvlt.

  • @Hecthor1906
    @Hecthor1906 4 года назад +1

    I cannot stop watching this video! it´s amazing!

  • @CaptainPantys
    @CaptainPantys 5 лет назад +2

    This was phenomenally well done dude. You need to be proud of yourself!

  • @gotbobos6128
    @gotbobos6128 2 года назад +3

    For the people who don't understand why he keeps talking about church burning it is a joke. The guitarist from mayhem burned a church in '92-'94.

  • @djoverkin
    @djoverkin 5 лет назад +9

    the talking part of the song was so reminiscent of for all tid/stormblast

    • @Pagefire
      @Pagefire  5 лет назад +2

      Congratulations! You're the first to notice. I referenced that on purpose.

    • @djoverkin
      @djoverkin 5 лет назад +3

      @@Pagefire wow, I feel so TRVKVLT. 16 yr old me just became frostbitten. Also, I went back after watching your vid and listened to the whole Stormblast album. Thx for that, forgot what an amazing piece of musicianship it was. Your song is great too, sounds like the real deal if you ignore the lyrics

  • @СемёнСемёнов-ы1ь
    @СемёнСемёнов-ы1ь 5 лет назад +6

    *The Inner Jerkle Circle*
    AHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

  • @daot7379
    @daot7379 5 лет назад

    I enjoyed this whole video. And the surprise was how good the final song turned out! Great job! I like it!