Our first born son was a late miscarriage but it was more like a stillbirth.. I was in my 2nd trimester and went to bed with spotting but woke up in the night with contractions. My water broke soon after and I delivered my son at home. His umbilical cord broke and I retained the placenta. I started hemorrhaging and had to go to the ER, cradling him as I drove there. Meds didnt help and I was bleeding so much I couldnt stay conscious. There was an hour where they worked to keep me alive (for other nurses, it wasnt a code but a rapid response) They werent able to get me to the operating room in time for surgery so when the doc walked into the ER room they did an emergency d&c right there in the ER. I immediately stopped bleeding and stayed conscious. My husband has never been more scared.. .. he was shoved away when I crashed and could do nothing but pray and cry while he held our son and watched them work on me.. It was extremely traumatic...... it was so hard on my body.... I was broken in every way for a long time but Christ was a comfort and an anchor. He answered every question and held every tear. I'm so thankful He comforted me I got pregnant again but 5 days later had a miscarriage.. this one happened at home with no interventions and was a fast recovery. The hard part was not getting to see my second baby.... or have a place to bury "her" and a headstone proudly recognizing the life and loss. I had those ways to grieve with my son.. ill always remember his smile and precious wee fingers and toes..... so tho his birth was hard physically, I would say I missed those moments with my second baby even tho I physically was relieved it was easier Our 3rd pregnancy is my rainbow baby..... I just rocked him to sleep. His birth was fast and easy. His name is Oliver referring to the olive branch after the flood in the old testament-- a sign of new life after destruction. And middle name is Samuel referring to Hannah's prayer for a child when she was gifted her son 💜
Oh my goodness 😭 Praise the Lord you were okay, that He carried you through, and blessed you with a little rainbow in His own time, but wow, I can not even begin to imagine. That must’ve been so scary and traumatic 😔 Thank you for sharing your story!
I wrote a poem a while later. ... I'll post in case it's a comfort to anyone -The Day They Called Me Momma- The day they called me momma, I held my baby boy... In the still and sacred awe, I held this gift of joy My baby born forever sleeping, too tiny for this world Yet in my hands so sweetly nestled, his bitty fingers curled I count them slow and marvel, ten wee fingers and ten toes I gaze long upon his smile, heaven alone composed What perfect and small form, no flaw the eye can find But now my broken heart, whom but God can bind? A momma on the earth am I, my baby in my heart.. Never again to hold him, till I like him depart I trust thee God and Father, my most precious do I give I hold this not against thee, and for you alone I'll live I know that through this sorrow, your joy will always reign Though pricked am I with thorn, my soul a rose has gained Low I bow with perfume costly, my thanks for thee my Abba I thank thee for that day, the day they called me Momma...
I am miscarrying right now with bad contractions for the second time after missed miscarriage last year... I can understand how you felt.. you gave me hope that my rainbow baby will come one day. Praying for you
Heres a poem I wrote a month after I lost my firstborn son -The Day They Called Me Momma- The day they called me momma, I held my baby boy... In the still and sacred awe, I held this gift of joy My baby born forever sleeping, too tiny for this world Yet in my hands so sweetly nestled, his bitty fingers curled I count them slow and marvel, ten wee fingers and ten toes I gaze long upon his smile, heaven alone composed What perfect and small form, no flaw the eye can find But now my broken heart, whom but God can bind? A momma on the earth am I, my baby in my heart.. Never again to hold him, till I like him depart I trust thee God and Father, my most precious do I give I hold this not against thee, and for you alone I'll live I know that through this sorrow, your joy will always reign Though pricked am I with thorn, my soul a rose has gained Low I bow with perfume costly, my thanks for thee my Abba I thank thee for that day, the day they called me Momma...
I'm so sorry, that has to have been so awful. I had one and it was the most traumatizing thing I've ever experienced (and there was plenty of competition, but that was definitely the worst.) I'm so glad you have your sweet girl coming soon, such a blessing. I hope your labor is super easy and that motherhood is everything you dreamed it would be. God bless you both and the little one.
“I knew you before I formed you in your mother’s womb, before you were born I set you apart...” - Jeremiah 1:5. Thank you SO much for speaking out about miscarriage & about being pro life. It’s so true that the emotions and the grief is real and valid and should never be discounted or looked down upon by anyone. 🤍🤍🤍
I had a chemical pregnancy when our first born was 9 months old. We weren’t ready for another, but when my husband and I found out I was pregnant, for the week that I was, we accepted it and were excited. I started bleeding about a week after getting my positive and took another test to only get a negative. I feel like sometimes it wasn’t even a “real” pregnancy but like you said, it was. We had our rainbow baby almost 2 years ago and I am currently pregnant with another baby girl, due in August. My grandfather passed away last year and shortly before his passing, I had a dream where he was holding a baby boy and in the dream my grandfather was telling me that he was giving him his blessing. I’d like to think that was a foreshadowing of my grandpa being in heaven with our angel baby 🤍🕊
I am personally pro choice myself, though I fully support everyone's right to their point of view and I 100% agree with you that everyone's feelings are valid, no one should ever tell you you aren't "allowed" to feel a certain way, no matter how early in your pregnancy you were, if you were excited and you loved your baby you are allowed to grief 💕 I am so sorry for anyone who has gone through a miscarriage my heart is with you🙏
I am also pro choice even as a christian because even though i would not get an abortion it’s not my place to take away someone else’s right to choose 🤍
I believe that I had a miscarriage before my second baby was conceived. My period was 21 days late, and I kept taking pregnancy tests but never got a positive. When I finally did get my period it was the heaviest and most painful period of my life. Not ever getting a positive test made it easier for me to brush the feelings of hurt aside and convince myself that I was never pregnant, but to this day, I still wonder what really happened. Thank you for sharing about this topic, because it doesn’t get talked about enough.
The same exact thing happened to me this past week. I normally have heavy periods but it was the worst I have ever had and I never had symptoms like I had. I don't know for sure if it was but I felt so beyond sad after finding out it could have been. It helps to know I'm not the only one. Thank you for sharing 🙂
100% agree it doesn't matter how far along a woman is, her grieving process should be honored. Thank you for sharing your strength and story mama. I am pro choice, because I believe every woman should have the right to do what they want with their own body. As someone who is prochoice, I have to say it is pure ignorance which allows people to minimize women's natural right to grieve her unborn baby no matter how far along she is, not because they are prochoice. It is the same ignorance which allows much of the world to not honor a woman's moon cycle, or a woman experience in general. Sharing my opinion with only love + respect in my heart. Only intention is to shed light and love. Even though we might have different opinions we share the same beliefs. Love you and your channel so so much. Such a healing video for women everywhere. Your voice is needed. Us women need to stick together no matter our political stance. Zero hate from this pro choice mama
I’ve been a silent viewer for a long time now..I finally have something relevant to say! My husband and I lost out first baby 11 months ago. It was chemical pregnancy, I felt and still feel stupid for hurting so much over the loss. It still leaves me a bit breathless to this day. It felt like a big shameful secret I had to carry alone, until I realized how common miscarriage really is. Talking about my experience has definitely helped me in coping with my loss. Funny enough, my husband and I just started trying again this month for the first time since the loss, I’m currently in my 2 week wait. I’m totally terrified of another loss, but I know what’s meant for me will be mine. This video came at just the right time for me. Thank you Delilah for sharing your experience so openly and for helping me feel less alone in my journey to motherhood!
I went through a chemical pregnancy 3 months ago and it was a lot more emotional than I was expecting it to be. I grew up hearing women around me going through miscarriages and dusting themselves off like nothing had happened, so when I went through mine I felt so dumb for feeling so emotional and broken. I just needed someone to say that even though it was a very early miscarriage, i am allowed to grieve and my feelings were (and are) completely valid. Watching this today brought me to tears because those were the words I needed to hear in March. I’m not the greatest with words but thank you for making this video, it really helped me a lot.
I found out I was pregnant with my first on Dec. 18th 2019, and I learned I had a missed miscarriage on Feb. 28th 2020 (was 14 weeks but baby only measured 11) since my body had not recognized the loss, my doctor scheduled me a D&C the same day. A week has passed since then, and I'm just trying to take it day by day. Physically the recovery has not been too bad, but emotionally it's one of the toughest things I've ever experienced. It was reassuring that you said you wanted to be pregnant again right away because I feel the same way, but I am also struggling with the feeling of guilt as though if we get pregnant again too soon we will just be "replacing" or "forgetting" the baby we just lost. Before I went through this, I had NO idea miscarriages were so common - which makes it crazy to me that it is such a "taboo" topic....so thank you for opening up about it and being so real ❤
I miscaried twin babies last month, it still hurts to think how they would have been 💔 all I know is that God always have the best for us, i'm conforted on this. All love to all mamas out here ❤
I had a miscarriage 2 years ago when I was 10 weeks pregnant. I personally went through so much. Me and my husband couldn't stop crying. Right after I lost my baby I wanted to try again. I just felt like someone took my baby away from me and I wasn't a mom anymore. But my husband was terrified to try again. He didn't want to lose another baby and go through that pain again. During those two years sooo many people around me were getting pregnant and I couldn't help myself and feel jealous and ask "why am I not good enough to be a mom myself?" And it would just kill even tho I wanted to feel happy for them I couldn't. Also during those 2 years every time I got my period I would cry, because even tho we were not actively trying to have a baby a part of me would just hope that one day I would be pregnant again. Well, 6 months ago we both decided to try again. And after a month trying it happened... Now I'm pregnant again. I'm 20 weeks today and Monday we're going to find out the sex of the baby. And we are extremely excited! I am a little scared that it's going to happen again and I am terrified to even start spotting a little bit. But I am trying my best to enjoy my pregnancy and the whole process as much as I can.
Hey Delilah ❤️ I'm pro choice myself, but I just want to say that everyone's feelings are valid. I would never tell a mother that just lost a potential baby to just get over it, that's totally mean! The pro choice movement is about defending women that don't want to be moms, is about preventing children from living in a family that doesn't want them. I would never abort a baby myself, but that doesn't mean I don't have to fight for women to have rights over their own bodies. That said, I think that grieving is a totally valid process, and everyone experience it in different ways. NEVER tell a grieving woman that her feelings aren't valid, you are not in her shoes.
The hardest part of having to get a D&C is knowing it's just a nicer name for almost the same procedure an abortion. My after care sheet was for abortions, telling you to take your birth control etc and it made me feel very alone and guilty and ashamed. I went to sleep under the anesthesia crying, and woke from it crying and feeling very empty physically and emotionally. Very difficult to be right in the middle of grief and needing to go and get that done. The last thing I wanted was to be there, I had a missed miscarriage so my body wasn't helping the process along naturally but I had waited about a week hoping it would.. (looking back I think this was a bad decision and just prolonged it far too long. Almost a year later now. That was my first pregnancy so it was very difficult, deep down I still call myself a mom even though I'm not really considered one publicly. I haven't gotten pregnant since and each month is a reminder. Passing my due date was difficult, and having friends and family with newborns. I still have to avoid baby showers and visits and that is hard too.. I think others reach a point where they think you should be over it. I do wish people would talk about it more, but at the same time I understand the silence because I'm not confident enough to share such a deeply personal event in my life. If I do get the chance to be a mom again I likely won't tell anyone at all as long as possible, because every friend and family member knew that first time.. and no one can ever really say the right thing or do the right thing even though they try. It's just too personal
Thank you for sharing your story. I don't think you will ever get over it just learn to live with it. My mother lost my brother at 22 weeks along and it still makes me so sad 30 years later and I was not even the one that lost the baby but I was so excited to have another sibling.
I understand that feeling of before and after the d&c. I also had a missed miscarriage and I felt terrible. I couldn't stop crying before nor afterwards. Even though the baby had already passed I felt and still feel so guilty. My sheet also had this labled as an abortion which made me so angry. I didn't choose to have this happen to me. I feel the same way about wanting to keep any future pregnancy private as long as possible. I hope you get your next baby soon. I am sorry for your loss.
I am personally pro-choice, though I would never get an abortion myself. I would also NEVER disrespect a grieving mother by invalidating her feelings after a loss. I’m so sorry to all the mamas in the comments
As someone who is pro choice, I am disgusted that people would deny others their feelings and emotions about something so serious. I’m so sorry that people online would say those things to you-we each have individual experiences that make us, us, and everyone deserves to feel what they want to feel. ❤️❤️❤️ to you!
This video was so needed, thanks for talking about this topic. I had a chemical miscarriage 2 years ago and I went to RUclips to hear other peoples stories and spoke to friends who I knew had gone through it too. So important to care for those who are grieving. I can't imagine the grief that people experience later on in pregnancy but it's important to remember we are not alone!
I recently suffered a miscarriage, and it’s very raw still the pain never truly heals. I send you my love prayers and support, thank you for your courage to talk about it. Mine was a D&C it was difficult and very sad. Luckily I had an amazing support system and very kind doctors and nurses. No matter how early or late it is, the loss is strong. You’re not alone and there is support everywhere. My prayers for anyone going thru this, you are loved!!
I personally am pro-choice but I completely understand and respect your viewpoint. I am pro-choice because I think a woman should be able to make the best decisions for herself and her body, but any wanted pregnancy that is lost, no matter how far along you are, is heartbreaking. The love and bond created when a woman finds out she is a pregnant is very real, and the emotions these poor women feel when losing a wanted pregnancy is completely valid. I am so sorry that you had to go through this & I want to send all of my love and respect to you and your family. My heart is broken for you, but I’m at least very happy that because of this experience, you were able to have sweet Theo. I hope your heart feels a bit less heavy after making this video, and I admire you so much for doing so!
Thank you for doing this video. I had one in January 2017... it was a dark time for me. I felt so alone! I remember watching Anna saccone’s video about hers and it helped feel a little less alone. Always love your videos ❤️ thank you again for this.
I miscarried my first pregnancy when I was 8 weeks along. I did experience lots of blood and ultimately took prescribed meds to help me pass all the fetal tissue in the privacy of my own home. It was painful (like labor contractions) and took an emotional toll. I bled for more than a month recovering. I didn’t try to conceive until after that baby’s due date. Surprisingly, the comments that hurt me the most were, “this is all a part of God’s plan” and “God knew you weren’t ready yet.” No. God didn’t inflict miscarriage on me nor do I need to find any platform or use for the pain I have gone through. We are all made worthy and ready in the eyes of God. The most helpful thing a person said to me was, “feel whatever you are feeling in the moment.” Miscarriage is a roller coaster of emotions. I didn’t want to be open about it for a long time. I also didn’t like when everyone referred to my next pregnancy as my “rainbow baby.” I didn’t feel like the baby I was about to deliver had to carry labels associated with my miscarried baby. They were separate and special. The fear never really goes away. I took each day I was pregnant as a gift. I have 2 beautiful daughters now.
mostagreeable You said this so beautifully... ❤️ Every woman is worthy to have a healthy pregnancy in Gods eyes. Miscarriage is not his plan, but just unfortunate circumstances. I’ve never looked at it from the perspective that the next babe is ‘labeled’ a rainbow baby. That makes so much sense... I’m so sorry for your loss. Sending you much love from Belgium.❤️❤️❤️
A little over a month ago I found out I was pregnant when I went into the emergency room and I was over 40 weeks pregnant but got told the tragic news that my baby was no longer alive. I was so heartbroken, I was shocked, I had no idea I was pregnant, I went through my entire pregnancy not knowing and not being happy that we finally conceived our first child after trying for years. I got so much taken from me from not knowing l was pregnant, not getting to be excited, didn’t get to hear his heartbeat, didn’t get to have maternity photos taken, now I don’t get to a “normal” parent, I went from finding out, to delivering my baby, finding out he was a boy, to not hearing his first cry, held my beautiful baby boy knowing right away what he wanted to name him. Having to deal with signing stillbirth papers, dealing with funeral arrangements and what we wanted to do. I still feel like it’s not real sometimes, but my physical pain makes it real again. Telling everyone was so hard, but I was super sick my uterus ruptured and I had preeclampsia and HELLP, but my son Benjamin was a big baby so he was alive up until a day or so before I gave birth he was 9lbs 5oz so he was a big boy. I’m thankful my delivery was fast but knowing everything now I was in labour for awhile at home and it was all back labour.
This video is so timely, thank you for sharing. 3 weeks ago, we learned we’d had a “missed miscarriage” with our first baby when we’d just passed the 13 week mark. I actually found your channel after my husband and I found out we were expecting and I was searching for mom channels on RUclips. Our baby had a strong, healthy heartbeat at 8 weeks, and after two weeks of anxiety I felt like I could finally breathe. Then, sometime after, the heartbeat stopped and they stopped growing, but I continued with pregnancy symptoms for 5 weeks. I felt stupid, embarrassed, and ashamed for making our friends and family feel so excited and then hurting them with the news. I felt like I should have sensed something was wrong, but I had no idea. I felt guilty that I finally stopped feeling anxious and surrendered to having a peaceful pregnancy, like something bad happened just because I let my guard down. Having a healthy, happy baby feels so far away but I know it will happen one day. I did have a D&E (Dilation and Evacuation) because the baby wouldn’t pass on its own, and I actually felt some relief afterwards because it felt like I could start to heal physically and emotionally. The doctors and nurses that helped me through the procedure were so kind, gentle, and apologetic about our situation, and it helped to feel loved and supported by them. My husband grieved with me, crying with me through it all but also being strong for me on my bad days. We called our moms and told them, and had them tell the rest of our families and family friends. Then I told my friends over text because saying it out loud was so painful. My husband and I are coping by setting new, non-baby goals together to have more long term things to look forward to.
My husband and I wanted kids right away when we got married. We tried to get pregnant every month. At month 5 of marriage we finally got a positive pregnancy test. We were so excited, But lost the baby the next day. It was extremely hard, especially with so many friends and family around me getting pregnant so fast and easily. We got pregnant again 3 months later but lost the baby again. We finally have our rainbow baby after trying for 14 months. ❤️ We’re so grateful to the Lord. Even for the pain. There isn’t a greater pain I’ve known. Miscarriage has brought me closer to the Lord. And I feel such a great love for the baby I carry now. ❤️❤️❤️
I'd just like to say for anyone who has recurrent miscarriages first, I'm so sorry for your losses. It's a sad and lonely process and heartbreaking. Second, many women with endometriosis, hypothyroidism, luteal phase defect, or low progesterone will have recurrent miscarriages and never get diagnosed. And you can have 2 of these conditions at the same time. Please consider seeing a reproductive immunologist and/or an endometriosis specialist. And/or consider taking the dutch test. Be your own advocate in the medical system. Our problems will often get ignored and brushed off. I was dismissed by 4 doctors before finding the right one to diagnose me with stage 2 endometriosis. And I found another doctor to diagnose me with hashimoto's disease. Hopefully getting these treated will prevent me from having another miscarriage.
Thank you for sharing this. I have had three miscarriages. My most recent one was last year. I felt like it was my fault. I have hashimoto's hypothyroidism, and I had been without my medication for over a month. I blamed myself for it until I was reminded by my husband and the woman at my church that God is sovereign and each one as tragic as they seemed to me happened for a reason. I realized how truly blessed my husband and I are to have our daughter who is now 2.
Thank you for this. Miscarriage is so hard for people and they should definitely be allowed to grieve! I've got two girls and I've never had a miscarriage but I've had friends who have and it was so so sad. People need to grieve and heal! I'm sorry for your loss 💛
Growing up I always felt like when I would look around at me and my siblings that there was someone missing. I still believe that feeling was missing my brother or sister that my mom miscarried before she had my youngest sibling. 💖
I’m am soo sorry to anyone who is or has going through This pain . I have never had a miscarriage. So I can’t even try to imagine your pain . But I am a mother to a beautiful baby boy . And I cannot imagine my life without him in it . I hope and pray you all get your rainbow baby you want and deserve
I lost my first baby at the beginning of the second trimester. It was one of the 'missed' miscarriages you talked about. Went in for the ultrasound and her heartbeat was gone. It was so traumatizing, the worst thing I've ever experienced. (And I've been through plenty of horrendous thing, but this by far was the worst to me, I wanted my baby so bad.) And I had just gotten out of a really bad drug addiction and I'm so grateful that I had recently found faith in God because I really think that helped me get through it without relapsing. I ended up having to take Cytotec because nothing was happening after a few days and my doctors were getting concerned about it. And it was so unbelievably painful, and I think the medication made it even worse. Now that I've been through labor, I can say it's pretty similar, I'd say just as bad, just in a bit of a different way (obviously you don't have to deal with the exams and all that.) And I ended up seeing the baby and that was so traumatizing. They had told me that wouldn't happen, and I think that was probably the worst part. And I ended up going to the hospital because I was in SO much pain. And they kept me there for 6 hours *screaming* in pain having contractions and all that and crying - promising me that if I didn't leave (b/c I said 'screw this, I'm just going to leave') they'd give me something for the pain. I waited and waited and I finally get handed a prescription... and it was for fucking TYLENOL. Not even Tylenol 3 or something (which still doesn't help much), just regular Tylenol. And it was SO infuriating and hurtful. And I'm convinced they did that because somewhere in my records or based on something about me they figured out I had been an addict previous to that time and figured I didn't deserve any help with the pain because I was a piece of crap junkie. It was really a traumatizing experience. Thank God though, I ended up getting pregnant again right after my first would have been born. Now my sweet little girl is 9 months old and she's my whole world. She's the happiest, sweetest baby. And as terrible as all that was, I have to believe that God had his reasons for letting everything happen the way it did. And now I have my precious girl, so I can't complain about anything and I'm so grateful.
I feel your pain when saying the hospital treats you different if you have any past history with them...I went in after having pain for hours and they let me just sit there...I later had the worse cramps of my life all night and continued in the morning. My boyfriend had his own pain medicine, and was able to help me. I honestly thought I was going to die. I couldn't stand or move. I stayed on the toilet for a good 6+ hours. Im sorry you had to go through the pain and the embarrassing hospital system. It's terrible when you need help and people don't take you seriously. Everyone deserves to be treated with respect and care. I had some shitty experience with doctors.
We lost our first pregnancy at about 8 weeks. It was devastating, I wrote a song for our little baby which was really therapeutic. We went on to have our rainbow baby who is now almost 3, and just had our second son. It still hurts even now, but I’m grateful for the short time of joy our first baby brought in their short time with us.
We lost our baby at 5 months. It was one of the saddest things we have been through. Planning arrangements at a funeral home for something that was supposed to bring you so much joy was difficult. Buying a blanket and a toy to bury your child with is heartbreaking. But then on the other side I look at my rainbow baby and appreciate every single moment. We can not picture our lives without her. Out of all the darkest came the brightest light.
When I miscarried we had a friend come over and just talk and be with us. Another friend dropped tea and tissues by my door. Another friend sent us a handmade picture that said "I carried you every second of your life." Also, I wish doctors would suggest mother's who miscarry (I believe once you conceive, you are a mother) would go to counseling. I waited about 5 months and my grief hit me like a brick. Ironically, 3 weeks into counseling I found out I was pregnant again. That was so helpful during the first trimester. Another thing that changed for us is that we wanted to announce our second pregnancy as soon as possible. We hated that only the very closest of friends and family knew about the life of our baby until our baby was gone.
Thanks for sharing Delilah! Miscarriage is getting more talked about, so I'm realizing how common and heartbreaking it can be but it's still a taboo topic for a lot of women. I know there are a lot of mommas watching this feeling so reassured they're not alone. My friend had a molar pregnancy last year, basically she had a positive pregnancy test but she was growing a mass of cells. It can have a heartbeat, but hers did not. It happens in only 1% of pregnancies. She had such bad morning sickness and had to have a d and c at 8 weeks. We are praying for a healthy pregnancy and birth for she and her husband soon, they are able to start trying next month!
Thank you for sharing this video! I too had a miscarriage and I was 8.5 weeks. I passed everything naturally but I had very intense cramping (to the point where I couldn’t walk and was scrunched up on the couch + a lot of blood like double/triple my normal period).. it was a horrible experience. I’ve also shared my story on my RUclips channel because I think it’s so important to talk about something that is so common but also so heartbreaking. I’ve just recently found out I’m pregnant with my rainbow baby and couldn’t be happier buuut if you’ve reading this and have just recently miscarried and are going through all the emotions, I understand you and am here for you if needed! Again, thank you for sharing your story too.
My beautiful angel is named Jordyn she would have been 6 this year. I had wrote out my story to share but i couldnt bare finishing it. I am at peace with her sacrifice to my little Emmas life, Jo mas just to perfect for this place and i am the proud momma of 2 beautiful healthy little girls today thanks to that becoming of my momma-hood. It will never stop hurting in this lifetime but im so excited to meet her in the next. Thank you for sharing all of you! You are all so brave and wonderful. Every Mothers day each and every one of you are valid mommas dont let anyone make you believe otherwise!!!
Thank you for sharing, It warms my heart to see more and more people bringing this topic to light. I had an intense second trimester missed miscarriage and it was a complete nightmare. The physical/emotional/mental/spiritual pain was unbearable and it shattered me. The first ultrasound I got of that baby was when I saw their perfect little silhouette but unfortunately no heartbeat. Ultimately it strengthened me as a person and made me not take things for granted as much. This last December, almost exactly one year after we found out about our pregnancy with our baby we lost, we found out we were expecting our rainbow baby. I am days from being 20 weeks and feel so excited and so incredibly scared at the same time, but God is good and he has given us this precious little life to add to our family. We are so blessed and ready to meet this little one! I hope you guys are continuing to do amazing on your healing journey and have a wonderful day. 😊
We had a chemical pregnancy right after our honeymoon. We knew we wanted kids pretty quickly after getting married and took no precaution to prevent it, and then I felt my body changing a few weeks after we got home. Mostly in my breasts (which has since been the telltale sign for me in my following 2 pregnancies). I took a pregnancy test and had a very faint line and took a digital test which confirmed we were in fact pregnant. That was about 3 days before my period was due and I went and dog sat for a friend at her home by myself for a week. While there I got my period. Full on period and was so disappointed. We had told family and a few close friends. My husband also had a much more subdued reaction and I was offended as well. But we got through it together and when we got pregnant about 4 months later I was so afraid of losing the baby. But we have a very healthy and happy 3 year old and a recent addition of his 8 week old brother.
Good for you for educating people about what you know to be true. Good for you for being careful to encourage others to rejoice in what they have in life that exists in the present tense.
I had a MMC at 12 weeks a few years ago, it was my second pregnancy, My first child was 2 at the time. After that I had 2 years of infertility but then had 2 healthy babies after. Most miscarriages are from chromosome abnormalities when the baby doesn't form as it should!
I am praying for all of you who have suffered this kind of loss. May the Lord comfort you all and may you take rest in know you will one day meet your baby.
I’ve had two normal miscarriages around 8 weeks, they were both traumatic on my soul. I just can replay those days back in my head like it just had happened. My s/o and I were wanting a baby so badly, and were so excited when I first found out I was pregnant and then I woke up one day bleeding, and then passed the baby. This is tmi but I remember seeing my baby after passing it and just sitting there crying. It was heartbreaking, I feared that would happen again and it did around the same time the second pregnancy and it truly broke my heart but like you said in the video I knew it wasn’t in my hands and it was in the lords! And not shortly after my second miscarriage I found out I was pregnant again with my little 7 month old! I pray no one has to experience that because it is truly heartbreaking and devastating on someone’s soul. Thank you for always speaking up about it and bringing light to this.
I miscarried yesterday for the first time. It was scary. Thank you for talking about it. Fetus IS a baby! Fetus literally means “baby” in Latin. Thank you for speaking up for pro-life!
I have experienced miscarriage 4 times, the most painful of which happened at 16.5 weeks. I also have 3 healthy kids, all rainbow babies. I thank God for caring for my babes and I look forward to meeting them in heaven. Until then I'll do my best to be a good mama to my 3 earthly kiddos. Thank you for sharing this video. Miscarriage is so isolating
I want to share my story for anyone who feels hopeless after miscarriage. My husband and I, who are both healthy people, lost our first baby at 7 weeks. Then we lost our second baby as a missed miscarriage at 11 weeks. Then, we lost our third baby, Aliya, as a stillborn baby at 24 weeks. The doctors couldn't explain any of these losses and it was so, so hard. We'd lost three babies in under two years. But I had a deep desire to try again, even though I didn't know if I would ever have a healthy baby. And so we did, and the Lord gave us our sweet Ruthie. She is almost 6 months old now and is the biggest blessing! Please, do not give up hope. What you are going through is so, so hard. No one should have to lose a baby (or three babies like we did). But the Lord does love you, more than you can imagine. And there is always hope.
Oh, sweety, I cannot even imagine the kind of pain that you must have gone through. ❤️ ❤️ I truly hope that this topic will soon begin to be less stigmatized, women do not deserve to feel ashamed, no one does.
From the moment sperm meets egg. That baby has a unique genetic code. Everything about them has already been decided. Whether they’ll be boy or girl, tall or short, blonde or brunette. I’ve had 2 miscarriages. I had a very early missed miscarriage and didn’t find out until 8 weeks. I’ll always love those babies and think about them. Pro-life all the way ❤️
Thank you. I had two chemical pregnancies ending in miscarriage in the first year and a half of marriage. It took me a long time to even accept that they even happened and I wasn't imagining. It made me tear up when you said my feelings are valid. Those were still my babies. I now have a beautiful 6 month old that I am so so thankful for. Life goes on and someday I'll get to heaven and get to raise those babies there ❤
10 years ago I had a missed miscarriage. I was 10wks pregnant. We had heard the heartbeat 2 wks before. I had to have a D&C .This was the darkest time in my life. I felt so alone. I felt as though I had done something wrong to cause it. I felt mad at my body for not being able to create a child. I was mad at God. I was mad at anyone I heard complaining about their kids. I couldn't even walk near the baby aisle in stores. There are no words to describe how I felt. 3 months later, we conceived our rainbow baby girl who is now 9, 2 years later her brother came along. I was 35 & 37 yrs old when I had them. With time the loss is easier, but it is never forgotten. Any woman reading this who have newly experienced such a horrific loss, I'm praying for you. Please take care of you, rest, cry, whatever it takes. I found that journaling helped me a lot. The journaling was intended for the child we had lost, however it turned into a journal for my future child. I still write in this journal today that I will give to my daughter one day.
Our first child was a missed miscarriage. I didn’t want a d&c so I had to wait for my body to realize the death. I carried the baby 2 more weeks and prayed the whole time for a miracle because I felt like the life was still there in me. The day before everything passed I felt that life leave. It may sound crazy but it’s what I felt. Sometimes I think about what milestones he or she would be hitting right now but then my two daughters wouldn’t be who they are now. I have fear during pregnancy but I have handed a lot over to the Lord.
I’ve had two miscarriages, in my first i had a subchorionic hemorrhage and had a silent miscarriage where the babies heartbeat was low and then it just stopped entirely. The pregnancy didn’t progress anymore and i did have to have a D&C done. It was horrible but the doctor who performed it made me feel the best i could possible. I felt the same way you did where i just wanted another though i was terrified. I did suffer another after that and that one made me feel even worse but 2 months later i became pregnant again and I’m now 9 weeks! Things are going well this time. Thank you for this video. We do need to talk about miscarriages more. Nobody is alone in this.
My husband and I suffered 2 miscarriages recently. One a chemical pregnancy a week or so ago, and the other over Christmas 2019. It's been absolutely devastating. I've suffered the loss of my mother(and other close family members) nearly a year ago now too, so it's been a heck of a year you could say. I definitely am terrified to try again but desperately want to grow our family. Please pray for me as I felt my faith weaken after each tragic loss we've had. I know God is real and the Savior to be my brother, but wish I felt them closer in my life and prayers.
I am Pro-choice! I got pregnant with 19 and had a miscarriage at 8 weeks. My pregnancy was not wanted, I was financially able to afford a child and in a stable relationship. Nevertheless I didn't (and still don't) want kids yet. I got pregnant even tho I took the birth control and condoms. So my baby was one in a million. A wonder I didn't want in the first place. But the loss was the worst thing to ever happen to me. The most painful thing physically and mentally. And no one can ever tell me that as someone who doesn't want kids yet I shouldn't griev or be sad. It's been over 2 years and I am still devastated whenever I remember. I didn't plan it and didn't want it. Which didn't mean I wanted to loose my baby. I would have kept it. I lost my baby within 2 days of finding out. However I disagree with your views on this "pro-choice world". How i pray and wish for that world where every human being has the right to choose over their own body. I lost my baby and I grieve my baby. But I'm still aware it wasn't actually a baby yet. I am scientist and religious(yes it can go hand in hand) so I understand both point if views. But I do not think it's ok to point fingers amd say because of the pro-choice movement we can't express our sadness or that they belitte out sadness. Because that goes against everything PRO CHOICE stands for. It stands for support every choice, that everyone gets to choose whatever they want. Being pro choice doesn't mean Anti Baby! It means everyone should get to choose themselves. Unlike Pro Life it doesn't eliminate the choice and belief of the other party.
I thought Theo looked so different and I didn’t know why until he smiled 😂 then I realized that he is such a smiley baby that he looked different when not smiling 💖 ily by the way 😘
I lost my first baby at 4/5 weeks when I was a teenager, and it devastated me even though the timing really wasn't ideal. Now, almost 7 years later, I'm 29 weeks with our rainbow boy. I had a 5D ultrasound last week, and he looks just like my husband, which makes me wonder even more what our angel baby would have looked like. My anxiety about losing him was very high in the beginning of this pregnancy, but I feel pretty comfortable in it now. I was very blessed to feel movements early, and I take his kicks as a reminder that he's doing alright.
Thank you so much for talking about this. I have a little one and hope that I never experience miscarriage in the future. My heart goes out to you and all the women that have gone through such a tragic loss. 💔 :(
I recently lost my second baby at 12 weeks. My baby past about a week ago and I had a D&C a day after. This was one of the hardest things I had to do and go through. I’m still going through it now. Thank you for talking about it on your channel. It so sad but it is common.
My sister, Destiny was having twins and she lost one a couple of weeks ago. We’re still hopeful the other baby grows healthy but she’s still at risk for losing her only baby. She needs some prayers y’all.
I haven’t been pregnant yet, but I can imagine how hard it must be, no matter how many weeks along you are, I imagine the minute I find out I’m pregnant, I’d be excited and thinking about my baby and what this pregnancy is going to be like, I’d be looking forward to something important and amazing, and to have that taken away must be devastating.
I understand the feeling of embarrassment. I was flabbergasted when our church gave us a service in our cemetery on the grounds. They did a meal train, and treated our baby boy’s death like it was real- because it was. Praise the Lord we have ones that will never experience the sin of this world ❤️
I've had two missed miscarriages with no successful pregnancies yet. I will say that with our first my husband mourned just as hard, if not worse, than I did. And he grieved longer than me. Then with the second he recovered in a very short period. Everyone is different and every pregnancy is different, so everyone's grief will look different. Just like women sometimes feel they can't mourn the lost of their unborn child, men feel like they can't either (especially since they're not the ones carrying them). Please, keep this in mind and support angel baby Fathers, too.
Prochoice is not about making mothers who experienced miscarriage feeling like they are not allowed to sorrow. I don’t know what makes you say that and I’m so sorry if anyone makes you feel you are not allowed to mourn for a lost child. There is a way much more into being a prochoice, as a woman I can’t even think of abortion, that’s something i would never do, that’s my choice, yet I’m a prochoice because i know it’s not the same for everyone. I totally respect your point of view and I can’t feel more sad (and somehow angry) about how some people could make a mother feels not rightful about mourn after loosing a child, even if it’s an early miscarriage, but it has nothing to do with being a prolife or prochoice, some people are not able to have any sympathy or empathy and only G-D knows what made them act as trolls.
Ida B it’s either a baby or it’s not. If you couldn’t do it to your own baby you shouldn’t think it’s ok for other babies to be snuffed out before they even get a chance at life
FemiNOT Lady i was not and i am not about to talk about why should anyone be prochoice or prolife here in a comment section of Delilah’s channel -as we all know internet is quiet a safe, calm and fantastic place to talk about serious issues like this, and people would definitely change their mind and beliefs over a comment- the thing that made me sad was how some people make a mother feel bad about mourning over lost of a child. I just want to point out not having an empathy has nothing to do with being prolife or prochoice, many prolife women think a mother shouldn’t mourn because it was the Lord’s decision to takes a child and you are not allowed to feel sad because of that. Any one who think a mother should not feel sad because she has an early miscarriage (with any kind of reasoning behind their manner) should think over their values and morals, prolife or pro choice. no one has the right to decide how a mother should feel or act after such a tragic experience.
FemiNOT Lady you are both privilege and lucky to not confronting or living with people like that, yet thanks to Internet, they are not that hard to find.
I had two miscarriage's 13 months ago , it was so heartbreaking 😭 it really hit me deep and yes it still hurt but they are apart of me ❤️. Today I have two beautiful rainbow babygirls, 13 months apart ❤️🌈. I won't have it any other way. Just have faith and it do get better ❤️😘🤗.
Been a subscribed for just over a year and completely agree with you on the person from when they're conceived. I fell pregnant at 17 and have a beautiful little girl who is now 4.
I am Pro Choice AND agree with everything you've said. No one has the right to tell a mother how she should feel. All your feelings are valid. For me a Baby is a Baby from the very first second. Thank you for your open words.
Your video came up in my recommended section, so I felt like I had to click on it. You’re encouraging us to share our stories so here’s mine: my husband and I had planned for about 6 months when we were going to start trying for a baby. In February of this year (2020) we started trying and at the end of the month we found out I was pregnant! I was so excited and so ready to be a mom and join so many other women around me in motherhood. We decided to tell my parents just before week 7 started and everyone was so excited and happy. My mother even started crying she was that excited. But three days later in the morning i started cramping... and as the afternoon hit, i started bleeding.. i called my husband in a panic and we went to the hospital. Ive always had really painful periods so this cramping felt like labour to me. It was excruciatingly painful. My blood pressure was weak so the nurses couldn’t get an IV in me to administer pain medication. I was in that state for 3 hours before i just asked if they could give me pain medication in a different form. I got needles because i was quite nauseous and couldn’t swallow anything down that they offered. I was so exhausted and weak from the whole ordeal. For the whole week following i did next to nothing. And this was all fairly recent. March 11 was when i lost my baby. I wish people had told me about miscarriages before it happened to me. It was traumatic and i miss my baby every day. I should be in my third month of pregnancy already.. but the experience wasn’t mine to have yet i guess. Thank you for making this video, I’m subscribed for sure! Please continue to be an angel and shedding light on things that people need to know about, you are doing amazing work ❤️
Hi Delilah! I’m Kat and two weeks ago I experienced the miscarriage of my first child at five and a half weeks. Everything you said resonates so deeply with me and I thank you for it. Maybe what you said about God giving and taking away your baby was for the purpose of this video. After watching many of your videos, I feel such a kindredness towards you and truly believe we’d be good friends. If you’re ever in Texas, lmk 😂
My first daughter was stillborn in 2018 and I gave birth to my second daughter in 2019 💕 some thankful for my babies. As tragic as my stillbirth was, I had such a wonderful loving pregnancy with my first baby. Her birth was beautiful in its own way and we spent the most amazing 6 hours with her. I miss her everyday and now she is my little angel watching over us and her little sister who is 6 months old now :)
I had a misscarriage at 6 weeks, 3 years later it still hurts and I often wonder what that baby would have been like. I wondered what I did wrong and if I could have done something to prevent it but, I know that wasn't possible. I felt so alone and blamed myself for a very long time. I'm now extremely grateful to have a beautiful 6 month old daughter who is a little character. For anyone going through this or has been through it, know that people can help and you aren't alone ♥
I had a chemical pregnancy and the doctors, nurses, and some of the people I told told me it wasn’t a baby. They said this so much that my husband started to believe it and would tell me the same thing. That is such a hard thing to hear, especially from your spouse. Because of that I stopped talking about it. I knew for a fact that I had just lost a baby. My body was already starting to change and it took me 2 1/2 months before my back, hips, uterus stoped being in so much pain that I wasn’t miserable from just that alone. My breasts were already starting to change to welcome the little one I had lost, too. I had also wanted to try right away after the loss and had gotten pregnant with my rainbow baby three months after miscarrying. Trusting that my second child was going to make through the whole pregnancy was such a challenge for me. I kept telling myself that worrying would only make it more likely to happen. Thankfully God also helped me get through the grieving process and trusting everything would go perfectly for my second pregnancy. I now have a soon to be 7 month old boy. I’m glad you shared your story. It makes me feel better hearing that someone else agrees that my feeling are valid. Sending love and prayers your way! ❤️
I knew about a miscarriage two weeks ago. And I had a curettage by vacuum. Doctors used general anesthesia, so I just fell asleep and woke up when everything was done. After two hours I don't feel any pain or something. Physically I was really good, but emotionally not. It is really hard not to think about your pregnancy, not to think about your future. I think it is really nice to be in a hospital, because I didn't cry a lot when lots of people were around me, so my eyes were wet, but I tried to be strong. After hospital I didn't feel any joy and couldn't even smile. Everything I did was thinking about my expectations. It was really hard to be sad. I didn't want to be sad, but I couldn't. Fortunately in a week I went to a psychologist. She helped me to meet my unborn baby, to say "thank you" for making me stronger and for that happy weeks together. I let him go. I realized that all children feel guilty when their parents are sad and cry. I don't want my "angel-baby" to feel guilty, so I shouldn't cry and should live a happy life. And after that my life became much more easier.
My husband didn't showed emotions, and it made me angry too. He was really upset when I told him that "I lost a baby" not "We". I think it's really good to remember in this situation that men and women are quite different people. And don't expect from your partner same feelings. Men grieve in a very different way.
I'm almost 33 now and my Mom experienced her miscarriage almost 35 years ago. She was stressed that time and she was bleeding, she saw the baby came out of her, she was 6mons pregnant then. She would always tell me she saw my sister that she was full form baby. And until now my Mom would cry in her dream because she could hear a baby cry and she would still remember how my sister looked like. I'm an only child but I always tell people I have a sister in heaven looking after us (as I'm typing this I'm crying because every baby deserves to live, and I'm still experiencing post partum depression at 10mons). People with 3rd eye always tell when they visit me at home that they could see a female ghost inside my room, she seems at home. I would tell them that maybe thats my sister who is now a grown up lady.
This is something I was always so terrified of when I was pregnant. I had my little one at 19. She's 5 months old now and such a happy baby. I'm so grateful for her and my heart goes out to anyone who lost their babies 😿❤
I lost my first baby and then got pregnant with her (I *think* she was a girl, but not sure) little sister right after she would have been born. Not a single day of my second pregnancy went by without us both being super terrified all the time. I was constantly worrying. It was horrible. I tried so hard to not get excited, because the first time I got too excited the first time and announced it to everyone right away and I was trying to avoid the same level of trauma. I really thought it was going to happen again. But thank God, it didn't and my sweet girl is 9 months old now. And when I lost my first, I was a newly recovering drug addict and I thank God every day that I honored my baby by not going back to that because of what happened. I really didn't want my child to be the reason I re-ruined my life. I'm really glad everything went well with your pregnancy and that your little one is healthy and happy. God bless you both.
My heart goes out to anyone who has ever gone through a miscarriage! I could not imagine the pain the loss and the heart ache it must put your through!! All I worried about thought the entire 40 weeks I was pregnant was what if? I constantly panicked. I constantly worried that I was going to lose my daughter. It was traumatic and has stuck with me for all these years and kind of scares me getting pregnant again! I have never miscarried but the fear for 9months was enough to put me off!
“A person is a person, no matter how small.” My first pregnancy ended in a very early miscarriage. Maybe 4-5 weeks, and we weren’t trying, and I was on birth control, but I knew, even before the missed period. It was awful pain. My family is very pro choice, and think there is no loss of a person there. I didn’t even tell them for a few months because I couldn’t handle it that they wouldn’t understand, or wouldn’t think the baby really existed. We were still preventing when I got pregnant with our son, who is SO active! He kicked on the screen at 8 weeks and kicked me hard during delivery! He wasn’t planned, but he’s such a gift. I’m atheist, and very pro life. Pro choice seems like a horrific misnomer. That baby has no choice, but they deserve one.
As a sonographer (ultrasound tech) I’ve had to assist in D&Cs in the OR. We do ultrasound guidance for the doctor to show where the placenta is and make sure they get everything. I dread these scans because they are so so heartbreaking for me. They never get easier and I never get desensitized to it. The loss of such a tiny fragile life still hurts.
I had a miscarriage January 2020 at 5 weeks. We are still healing. Have been trying for a baby since September 2019. I pray the Lord helps us feel content where we are now and that He may bless us with child if He wills.
After my missed miscarriage at 19 weeks last year, I was the same as you. I just wanted space. To be alone at home, just my husband and I. I didn't even want my mom coming over and giving me company, which she didn't really understand. After some time to process and grieve, I was okay talking about it. Nine months later, I found out I was pregnant at 3 weeks, told family at 4 weeks, and lost it at 5 weeks. Family didn't seem to really feel that I had lost a pregnancy that time since it was so early, and everyone just carried on as if nothing had ever happened. It's definitely seen differently when you lose the pregnancy really early, but it feels just as awful as a later loss. I'm 13 weeks pregnant now, and haven't told anyone at all. No desire to, just like you said you experienced with your third. Right now, I'm happy enjoying this secret just between my husband and I.
Thanks for sharing your story.. is so sad that people enjoy to hurt another, they don't have the right to tell you that it wasn't a baby.. of course she/he was and some day you will hug your baby in heaven
Since you're doing girl talk videos I would love to see a video on women who are harshly judged for not having children. This is something that is not addressed enough. Please do a video on this. It would mean so much to me.
Although we may not share the same views on things, I am glad you were able to open up about this and share your story. I don’t even plan on having children for years yet I watched this whole video because I know how it effects others. I also found it comforting how you don’t force your views on other people, even if you disagree with them.
I suffered from a missed miscarriage last April and it was something I never thought would happen to me. I was around 9 weeks along and I went to get an ultrasound to confirm the actual gestational age. The tech couldn’t find a heartbeat and said that I probably wasn’t as far along as I thought and I left feeling very off and confused. A couple days later I felt very crampy. I had cramps with my first pregnancy but these were different. That night I woke up with excruciating cramps and when I got up to use the bathroom there was fresh blood and I knew that we’d lost the baby. Luckily my body passed everything and did not have to get a D&C. I just didn’t understand why my body would do this and kept trying to figure out what I did wrong. I had to accept that it was out of my control and there was another plan for us and to be thankful that I had a healthy little boy who had turned one recently. I found out I was pregnant again with our rainbow baby last June and he is due any day now 🌈❤️ I was so nervous in the first trimester that I didn’t tell anyone until I was in the second trimester. My husband knew too of course, but I didn’t even tell my parents because I didn’t want to cause anymore heartbreak if something were to go wrong again. I’m so happy you made this video because it should be something more talked about. ❤️
I had one 3 years ago and I acted so strog because everybody around me were devastated. Also I had to go to operation because of it. I took me few months ( after first shook) to truly go though that trauma. To this day I am scared of getting pregnant again. I have fear of hospital and getting through all that again, sad part is that nobody trully understands what it is like around me. I hope I'll find my strenght again. Thanks for speaking about it. Sending you love and blessings
My first pregnancy was a chemical pregnancy. About a week after my positive test I started bleeding in the shower and my husband and I went to the ob-gyn. My pregnancy test there was negative and I was lead to believe that maybe I never really was pregnant. But I remember just how fatigued I was at that time and I was showing all the symptoms. A month later I became pregnant with my precious daughter. Thank you for sharing and bringing me back to that painful experience (as weird as that sounds). I have so much to dwell and pray about. I never really got to grieve because I felt confused and unsure at that time. Honestly I forgot about it until now. Thank you for sharing.
My partner and I are trying for about 1 and 1/2 years and I had a miscarriage about 10 days ago. When I found out I was sooooo happy, it would have been my first pregnancy. I was on cloud 9 for 5 days and I felt so guilty when I miscarried. I thought I shouldn't have played with the dogs we were visiting etc etc. I was so in shock that I told my boss I need the day off because I have a miscarriage ( poor guy, such a message on a monday morning out of nowhere). What helped me a lot was being upfront with my collegues in the same room ( both mothers) and talking to a friend who had miscarriages before. It is so common! Knowing that I'm not the only one, that I'm not guilty and that nothing would have prevented this was really helpful. It is such a tabou but this is not helping the people who are going through this. We need to talk about it more.
Our first born son was a late miscarriage but it was more like a stillbirth.. I was in my 2nd trimester and went to bed with spotting but woke up in the night with contractions. My water broke soon after and I delivered my son at home. His umbilical cord broke and I retained the placenta. I started hemorrhaging and had to go to the ER, cradling him as I drove there.
Meds didnt help and I was bleeding so much I couldnt stay conscious. There was an hour where they worked to keep me alive (for other nurses, it wasnt a code but a rapid response) They werent able to get me to the operating room in time for surgery so when the doc walked into the ER room they did an emergency d&c right there in the ER. I immediately stopped bleeding and stayed conscious. My husband has never been more scared.. .. he was shoved away when I crashed and could do nothing but pray and cry while he held our son and watched them work on me..
It was extremely traumatic...... it was so hard on my body.... I was broken in every way for a long time but Christ was a comfort and an anchor. He answered every question and held every tear. I'm so thankful He comforted me
I got pregnant again but 5 days later had a miscarriage.. this one happened at home with no interventions and was a fast recovery. The hard part was not getting to see my second baby.... or have a place to bury "her" and a headstone proudly recognizing the life and loss. I had those ways to grieve with my son.. ill always remember his smile and precious wee fingers and toes..... so tho his birth was hard physically, I would say I missed those moments with my second baby even tho I physically was relieved it was easier
Our 3rd pregnancy is my rainbow baby..... I just rocked him to sleep. His birth was fast and easy. His name is Oliver referring to the olive branch after the flood in the old testament-- a sign of new life after destruction. And middle name is Samuel referring to Hannah's prayer for a child when she was gifted her son
💜
Oh my goodness 😭 Praise the Lord you were okay, that He carried you through, and blessed you with a little rainbow in His own time, but wow, I can not even begin to imagine. That must’ve been so scary and traumatic 😔 Thank you for sharing your story!
Kathleen B praying for you ❤️
I wrote a poem a while later. ... I'll post in case it's a comfort to anyone
-The Day They Called Me Momma-
The day they called me momma, I held my baby boy...
In the still and sacred awe, I held this gift of joy
My baby born forever sleeping, too tiny for this world
Yet in my hands so sweetly nestled, his bitty fingers curled
I count them slow and marvel, ten wee fingers and ten toes
I gaze long upon his smile, heaven alone composed
What perfect and small form, no flaw the eye can find
But now my broken heart, whom but God can bind?
A momma on the earth am I, my baby in my heart..
Never again to hold him, till I like him depart
I trust thee God and Father, my most precious do I give
I hold this not against thee, and for you alone I'll live
I know that through this sorrow, your joy will always reign
Though pricked am I with thorn, my soul a rose has gained
Low I bow with perfume costly, my thanks for thee my Abba
I thank thee for that day, the day they called me Momma...
I am miscarrying right now with bad contractions for the second time after missed miscarriage last year... I can understand how you felt.. you gave me hope that my rainbow baby will come one day. Praying for you
I love how intentional you were with naming your rainbow baby ❤️ what a gorgeous name. God bless you Mama xx
Heres a poem I wrote a month after I lost my firstborn son
-The Day They Called Me Momma-
The day they called me momma, I held my baby boy...
In the still and sacred awe, I held this gift of joy
My baby born forever sleeping, too tiny for this world
Yet in my hands so sweetly nestled, his bitty fingers curled
I count them slow and marvel, ten wee fingers and ten toes
I gaze long upon his smile, heaven alone composed
What perfect and small form, no flaw the eye can find
But now my broken heart, whom but God can bind?
A momma on the earth am I, my baby in my heart..
Never again to hold him, till I like him depart
I trust thee God and Father, my most precious do I give
I hold this not against thee, and for you alone I'll live
I know that through this sorrow, your joy will always reign
Though pricked am I with thorn, my soul a rose has gained
Low I bow with perfume costly, my thanks for thee my Abba
I thank thee for that day, the day they called me Momma...
Kathleen B That is absolutely beautiful❤️ Thank you for sharing that.
It's so beautiful
This gave me chills 🤧so beautiful. You are one strong mom!
I hope this helped you cope with your loss. My heart is with you❤
I’ve never been pregnant and I’m not even married, but I’m still going to watch this entire video. Thanks for sharing, I know it’s hard ❤️
I had 3 last year and we’re 32 weeks with our girl. She is such an answered prayer💕
I'm so sorry, that has to have been so awful. I had one and it was the most traumatizing thing I've ever experienced (and there was plenty of competition, but that was definitely the worst.) I'm so glad you have your sweet girl coming soon, such a blessing. I hope your labor is super easy and that motherhood is everything you dreamed it would be. God bless you both and the little one.
zzevonplant thank you💕 I’m sorry for your loss
Congratulations!! I’m so happy for u.
“I knew you before I formed you in your mother’s womb, before you were born I set you apart...” - Jeremiah 1:5. Thank you SO much for speaking out about miscarriage & about being pro life. It’s so true that the emotions and the grief is real and valid and should never be discounted or looked down upon by anyone. 🤍🤍🤍
I had a chemical pregnancy when our first born was 9 months old. We weren’t ready for another, but when my husband and I found out I was pregnant, for the week that I was, we accepted it and were excited. I started bleeding about a week after getting my positive and took another test to only get a negative. I feel like sometimes it wasn’t even a “real” pregnancy but like you said, it was.
We had our rainbow baby almost 2 years ago and I am currently pregnant with another baby girl, due in August. My grandfather passed away last year and shortly before his passing, I had a dream where he was holding a baby boy and in the dream my grandfather was telling me that he was giving him his blessing. I’d like to think that was a foreshadowing of my grandpa being in heaven with our angel baby 🤍🕊
I am personally pro choice myself, though I fully support everyone's right to their point of view and I 100% agree with you that everyone's feelings are valid, no one should ever tell you you aren't "allowed" to feel a certain way, no matter how early in your pregnancy you were, if you were excited and you loved your baby you are allowed to grief 💕 I am so sorry for anyone who has gone through a miscarriage my heart is with you🙏
Yep, our fertility problems aren't someone else's responsibility
Yess, good to know another pro choice like me that thinks this way!
I am also pro choice even as a christian because even though i would not get an abortion it’s not my place to take away someone else’s right to choose 🤍
@@ninalett you can't be christian and pro abortion... THAT'S NO POSIBLE "DON'T MURDER" PERIOD!
@@jazmingonzalezsilva5814 I'm glad there's a voice of reason in here. A pro choice Christian is a pro human trafficking Christian🤦🏽♀️
I believe that I had a miscarriage before my second baby was conceived. My period was 21 days late, and I kept taking pregnancy tests but never got a positive. When I finally did get my period it was the heaviest and most painful period of my life. Not ever getting a positive test made it easier for me to brush the feelings of hurt aside and convince myself that I was never pregnant, but to this day, I still wonder what really happened. Thank you for sharing about this topic, because it doesn’t get talked about enough.
Did U ever go to dr
Savannaha No I didn’t. I wish I had so that I couldve known.
Megan McEwan me too
Something similar happened to my mom when I was a teenager.
The same exact thing happened to me this past week. I normally have heavy periods but it was the worst I have ever had and I never had symptoms like I had. I don't know for sure if it was but I felt so beyond sad after finding out it could have been. It helps to know I'm not the only one. Thank you for sharing 🙂
100% agree it doesn't matter how far along a woman is, her grieving process should be honored. Thank you for sharing your strength and story mama. I am pro choice, because I believe every woman should have the right to do what they want with their own body. As someone who is prochoice, I have to say it is pure ignorance which allows people to minimize women's natural right to grieve her unborn baby no matter how far along she is, not because they are prochoice. It is the same ignorance which allows much of the world to not honor a woman's moon cycle, or a woman experience in general. Sharing my opinion with only love + respect in my heart. Only intention is to shed light and love. Even though we might have different opinions we share the same beliefs. Love you and your channel so so much. Such a healing video for women everywhere. Your voice is needed. Us women need to stick together no matter our political stance. Zero hate from this pro choice mama
I’ve been a silent viewer for a long time now..I finally have something relevant to say! My husband and I lost out first baby 11 months ago. It was chemical pregnancy, I felt and still feel stupid for hurting so much over the loss. It still leaves me a bit breathless to this day. It felt like a big shameful secret I had to carry alone, until I realized how common miscarriage really is. Talking about my experience has definitely helped me in coping with my loss. Funny enough, my husband and I just started trying again this month for the first time since the loss, I’m currently in my 2 week wait. I’m totally terrified of another loss, but I know what’s meant for me will be mine. This video came at just the right time for me. Thank you Delilah for sharing your experience so openly and for helping me feel less alone in my journey to motherhood!
Thank you for sharing your story! I'm praying for you, and that the Lord will give you a baby soon! ❤
I went through a chemical pregnancy 3 months ago and it was a lot more emotional than I was expecting it to be. I grew up hearing women around me going through miscarriages and dusting themselves off like nothing had happened, so when I went through mine I felt so dumb for feeling so emotional and broken. I just needed someone to say that even though it was a very early miscarriage, i am allowed to grieve and my feelings were (and are) completely valid. Watching this today brought me to tears because those were the words I needed to hear in March. I’m not the greatest with words but thank you for making this video, it really helped me a lot.
I found out I was pregnant with my first on Dec. 18th 2019, and I learned I had a missed miscarriage on Feb. 28th 2020 (was 14 weeks but baby only measured 11) since my body had not recognized the loss, my doctor scheduled me a D&C the same day. A week has passed since then, and I'm just trying to take it day by day. Physically the recovery has not been too bad, but emotionally it's one of the toughest things I've ever experienced. It was reassuring that you said you wanted to be pregnant again right away because I feel the same way, but I am also struggling with the feeling of guilt as though if we get pregnant again too soon we will just be "replacing" or "forgetting" the baby we just lost. Before I went through this, I had NO idea miscarriages were so common - which makes it crazy to me that it is such a "taboo" topic....so thank you for opening up about it and being so real ❤
I miscaried twin babies last month, it still hurts to think how they would have been 💔 all I know is that God always have the best for us, i'm conforted on this. All love to all mamas out here ❤
💔
I had a miscarriage 2 years ago when I was 10 weeks pregnant.
I personally went through so much. Me and my husband couldn't stop crying.
Right after I lost my baby I wanted to try again. I just felt like someone took my baby away from me and I wasn't a mom anymore. But my husband was terrified to try again. He didn't want to lose another baby and go through that pain again. During those two years sooo many people around me were getting pregnant and I couldn't help myself and feel jealous and ask "why am I not good enough to be a mom myself?" And it would just kill even tho I wanted to feel happy for them I couldn't. Also during those 2 years every time I got my period I would cry, because even tho we were not actively trying to have a baby a part of me would just hope that one day I would be pregnant again.
Well, 6 months ago we both decided to try again. And after a month trying it happened...
Now I'm pregnant again. I'm 20 weeks today and Monday we're going to find out the sex of the baby. And we are extremely excited!
I am a little scared that it's going to happen again and I am terrified to even start spotting a little bit. But I am trying my best to enjoy my pregnancy and the whole process as much as I can.
we find out our rainbow babes gender on Monday too!!!
Hey Delilah ❤️ I'm pro choice myself, but I just want to say that everyone's feelings are valid. I would never tell a mother that just lost a potential baby to just get over it, that's totally mean! The pro choice movement is about defending women that don't want to be moms, is about preventing children from living in a family that doesn't want them. I would never abort a baby myself, but that doesn't mean I don't have to fight for women to have rights over their own bodies. That said, I think that grieving is a totally valid process, and everyone experience it in different ways. NEVER tell a grieving woman that her feelings aren't valid, you are not in her shoes.
The hardest part of having to get a D&C is knowing it's just a nicer name for almost the same procedure an abortion. My after care sheet was for abortions, telling you to take your birth control etc and it made me feel very alone and guilty and ashamed. I went to sleep under the anesthesia crying, and woke from it crying and feeling very empty physically and emotionally. Very difficult to be right in the middle of grief and needing to go and get that done. The last thing I wanted was to be there, I had a missed miscarriage so my body wasn't helping the process along naturally but I had waited about a week hoping it would.. (looking back I think this was a bad decision and just prolonged it far too long. Almost a year later now. That was my first pregnancy so it was very difficult, deep down I still call myself a mom even though I'm not really considered one publicly. I haven't gotten pregnant since and each month is a reminder. Passing my due date was difficult, and having friends and family with newborns. I still have to avoid baby showers and visits and that is hard too.. I think others reach a point where they think you should be over it. I do wish people would talk about it more, but at the same time I understand the silence because I'm not confident enough to share such a deeply personal event in my life. If I do get the chance to be a mom again I likely won't tell anyone at all as long as possible, because every friend and family member knew that first time.. and no one can ever really say the right thing or do the right thing even though they try. It's just too personal
Thank you for sharing your story. I don't think you will ever get over it just learn to live with it. My mother lost my brother at 22 weeks along and it still makes me so sad 30 years later and I was not even the one that lost the baby but I was so excited to have another sibling.
I understand that feeling of before and after the d&c. I also had a missed miscarriage and I felt terrible. I couldn't stop crying before nor afterwards. Even though the baby had already passed I felt and still feel so guilty.
My sheet also had this labled as an abortion which made me so angry. I didn't choose to have this happen to me.
I feel the same way about wanting to keep any future pregnancy private as long as possible.
I hope you get your next baby soon. I am sorry for your loss.
I am personally pro-choice, though I would never get an abortion myself.
I would also NEVER disrespect a grieving mother by invalidating her feelings after a loss. I’m so sorry to all the mamas in the comments
Someone that thinks just like me
Sending so much love to everyone who is going through this, or has gone through this. ❤️
As someone who is pro choice, I am disgusted that people would deny others their feelings and emotions about something so serious. I’m so sorry that people online would say those things to you-we each have individual experiences that make us, us, and everyone deserves to feel what they want to feel. ❤️❤️❤️ to you!
This video was so needed, thanks for talking about this topic. I had a chemical miscarriage 2 years ago and I went to RUclips to hear other peoples stories and spoke to friends who I knew had gone through it too. So important to care for those who are grieving. I can't imagine the grief that people experience later on in pregnancy but it's important to remember we are not alone!
I recently suffered a miscarriage, and it’s very raw still the pain never truly heals. I send you my love prayers and support, thank you for your courage to talk about it. Mine was a D&C it was difficult and very sad. Luckily I had an amazing support system and very kind doctors and nurses. No matter how early or late it is, the loss is strong. You’re not alone and there is support everywhere. My prayers for anyone going thru this, you are loved!!
I personally am pro-choice but I completely understand and respect your viewpoint. I am pro-choice because I think a woman should be able to make the best decisions for herself and her body, but any wanted pregnancy that is lost, no matter how far along you are, is heartbreaking. The love and bond created when a woman finds out she is a pregnant is very real, and the emotions these poor women feel when losing a wanted pregnancy is completely valid. I am so sorry that you had to go through this & I want to send all of my love and respect to you and your family. My heart is broken for you, but I’m at least very happy that because of this experience, you were able to have sweet Theo. I hope your heart feels a bit less heavy after making this video, and I admire you so much for doing so!
Thank you for doing this video. I had one in January 2017... it was a dark time for me. I felt so alone! I remember watching Anna saccone’s video about hers and it helped feel a little less alone. Always love your videos ❤️ thank you again for this.
I miscarried my first pregnancy when I was 8 weeks along. I did experience lots of blood and ultimately took prescribed meds to help me pass all the fetal tissue in the privacy of my own home. It was painful (like labor contractions) and took an emotional toll. I bled for more than a month recovering. I didn’t try to conceive until after that baby’s due date. Surprisingly, the comments that hurt me the most were, “this is all a part of God’s plan” and “God knew you weren’t ready yet.” No. God didn’t inflict miscarriage on me nor do I need to find any platform or use for the pain I have gone through. We are all made worthy and ready in the eyes of God. The most helpful thing a person said to me was, “feel whatever you are feeling in the moment.” Miscarriage is a roller coaster of emotions. I didn’t want to be open about it for a long time. I also didn’t like when everyone referred to my next pregnancy as my “rainbow baby.” I didn’t feel like the baby I was about to deliver had to carry labels associated with my miscarried baby. They were separate and special. The fear never really goes away. I took each day I was pregnant as a gift. I have 2 beautiful daughters now.
mostagreeable You said this so beautifully... ❤️ Every woman is worthy to have a healthy pregnancy in Gods eyes. Miscarriage is not his plan, but just unfortunate circumstances. I’ve never looked at it from the perspective that the next babe is ‘labeled’ a rainbow baby. That makes so much sense... I’m so sorry for your loss. Sending you much love from Belgium.❤️❤️❤️
I feel the same... I’ve never referred to my daughter as a rainbow baby...
A little over a month ago I found out I was pregnant when I went into the emergency room and I was over 40 weeks pregnant but got told the tragic news that my baby was no longer alive. I was so heartbroken, I was shocked, I had no idea I was pregnant, I went through my entire pregnancy not knowing and not being happy that we finally conceived our first child after trying for years. I got so much taken from me from not knowing l was pregnant, not getting to be excited, didn’t get to hear his heartbeat, didn’t get to have maternity photos taken, now I don’t get to a “normal” parent, I went from finding out, to delivering my baby, finding out he was a boy, to not hearing his first cry, held my beautiful baby boy knowing right away what he wanted to name him. Having to deal with signing stillbirth papers, dealing with funeral arrangements and what we wanted to do. I still feel like it’s not real sometimes, but my physical pain makes it real again. Telling everyone was so hard, but I was super sick my uterus ruptured and I had preeclampsia and HELLP, but my son Benjamin was a big baby so he was alive up until a day or so before I gave birth he was 9lbs 5oz so he was a big boy. I’m thankful my delivery was fast but knowing everything now I was in labour for awhile at home and it was all back labour.
This video is so timely, thank you for sharing. 3 weeks ago, we learned we’d had a “missed miscarriage” with our first baby when we’d just passed the 13 week mark. I actually found your channel after my husband and I found out we were expecting and I was searching for mom channels on RUclips. Our baby had a strong, healthy heartbeat at 8 weeks, and after two weeks of anxiety I felt like I could finally breathe. Then, sometime after, the heartbeat stopped and they stopped growing, but I continued with pregnancy symptoms for 5 weeks. I felt stupid, embarrassed, and ashamed for making our friends and family feel so excited and then hurting them with the news. I felt like I should have sensed something was wrong, but I had no idea. I felt guilty that I finally stopped feeling anxious and surrendered to having a peaceful pregnancy, like something bad happened just because I let my guard down. Having a healthy, happy baby feels so far away but I know it will happen one day. I did have a D&E (Dilation and Evacuation) because the baby wouldn’t pass on its own, and I actually felt some relief afterwards because it felt like I could start to heal physically and emotionally. The doctors and nurses that helped me through the procedure were so kind, gentle, and apologetic about our situation, and it helped to feel loved and supported by them. My husband grieved with me, crying with me through it all but also being strong for me on my bad days. We called our moms and told them, and had them tell the rest of our families and family friends. Then I told my friends over text because saying it out loud was so painful. My husband and I are coping by setting new, non-baby goals together to have more long term things to look forward to.
My husband and I wanted kids right away when we got married. We tried to get pregnant every month.
At month 5 of marriage we finally got a positive pregnancy test. We were so excited, But lost the baby the next day. It was extremely hard, especially with so many friends and family around me getting pregnant so fast and easily.
We got pregnant again 3 months later but lost the baby again.
We finally have our rainbow baby after trying for 14 months. ❤️ We’re so grateful to the Lord. Even for the pain.
There isn’t a greater pain I’ve known. Miscarriage has brought me closer to the Lord. And I feel such a great love for the baby I carry now. ❤️❤️❤️
It’s disappointing that there are people who believe that they have the right to tell a woman how they should feel about their own miscarriage/s
I'd just like to say for anyone who has recurrent miscarriages first, I'm so sorry for your losses. It's a sad and lonely process and heartbreaking. Second, many women with endometriosis, hypothyroidism, luteal phase defect, or low progesterone will have recurrent miscarriages and never get diagnosed. And you can have 2 of these conditions at the same time. Please consider seeing a reproductive immunologist and/or an endometriosis specialist. And/or consider taking the dutch test. Be your own advocate in the medical system. Our problems will often get ignored and brushed off. I was dismissed by 4 doctors before finding the right one to diagnose me with stage 2 endometriosis. And I found another doctor to diagnose me with hashimoto's disease. Hopefully getting these treated will prevent me from having another miscarriage.
Thank you for sharing this. I have had three miscarriages. My most recent one was last year. I felt like it was my fault. I have hashimoto's hypothyroidism, and I had been without my medication for over a month. I blamed myself for it until I was reminded by my husband and the woman at my church that God is sovereign and each one as tragic as they seemed to me happened for a reason. I realized how truly blessed my husband and I are to have our daughter who is now 2.
Thank you for this. Miscarriage is so hard for people and they should definitely be allowed to grieve! I've got two girls and I've never had a miscarriage but I've had friends who have and it was so so sad. People need to grieve and heal! I'm sorry for your loss 💛
Growing up I always felt like when I would look around at me and my siblings that there was someone missing. I still believe that feeling was missing my brother or sister that my mom miscarried before she had my youngest sibling. 💖
I’m am soo sorry to anyone who is or has going through This pain . I have never had a miscarriage. So I can’t even try to imagine your pain . But I am a mother to a beautiful baby boy . And I cannot imagine my life without him in it . I hope and pray you all get your rainbow baby you want and deserve
I lost my first baby at the beginning of the second trimester. It was one of the 'missed' miscarriages you talked about. Went in for the ultrasound and her heartbeat was gone.
It was so traumatizing, the worst thing I've ever experienced. (And I've been through plenty of horrendous thing, but this by far was the worst to me, I wanted my baby so bad.)
And I had just gotten out of a really bad drug addiction and I'm so grateful that I had recently found faith in God because I really think that helped me get through it without relapsing.
I ended up having to take Cytotec because nothing was happening after a few days and my doctors were getting concerned about it. And it was so unbelievably painful, and I think the medication made it even worse. Now that I've been through labor, I can say it's pretty similar, I'd say just as bad, just in a bit of a different way (obviously you don't have to deal with the exams and all that.) And I ended up seeing the baby and that was so traumatizing. They had told me that wouldn't happen, and I think that was probably the worst part.
And I ended up going to the hospital because I was in SO much pain. And they kept me there for 6 hours *screaming* in pain having contractions and all that and crying - promising me that if I didn't leave (b/c I said 'screw this, I'm just going to leave') they'd give me something for the pain. I waited and waited and I finally get handed a prescription... and it was for fucking TYLENOL. Not even Tylenol 3 or something (which still doesn't help much), just regular Tylenol. And it was SO infuriating and hurtful. And I'm convinced they did that because somewhere in my records or based on something about me they figured out I had been an addict previous to that time and figured I didn't deserve any help with the pain because I was a piece of crap junkie.
It was really a traumatizing experience.
Thank God though, I ended up getting pregnant again right after my first would have been born. Now my sweet little girl is 9 months old and she's my whole world. She's the happiest, sweetest baby. And as terrible as all that was, I have to believe that God had his reasons for letting everything happen the way it did. And now I have my precious girl, so I can't complain about anything and I'm so grateful.
I feel your pain when saying the hospital treats you different if you have any past history with them...I went in after having pain for hours and they let me just sit there...I later had the worse cramps of my life all night and continued in the morning. My boyfriend had his own pain medicine, and was able to help me. I honestly thought I was going to die. I couldn't stand or move. I stayed on the toilet for a good 6+ hours. Im sorry you had to go through the pain and the embarrassing hospital system. It's terrible when you need help and people don't take you seriously. Everyone deserves to be treated with respect and care. I had some shitty experience with doctors.
Thank you for sharing. I lost my first baby at 7 weeks and got pregnant 1 month later. I am 28 weeks pregnant now and am so blessed.
Thank you for speaking up for life
We lost our first pregnancy at about 8 weeks. It was devastating, I wrote a song for our little baby which was really therapeutic. We went on to have our rainbow baby who is now almost 3, and just had our second son. It still hurts even now, but I’m grateful for the short time of joy our first baby brought in their short time with us.
We lost our baby at 5 months. It was one of the saddest things we have been through. Planning arrangements at a funeral home for something that was supposed to bring you so much joy was difficult. Buying a blanket and a toy to bury your child with is heartbreaking. But then on the other side I look at my rainbow baby and appreciate every single moment. We can not picture our lives without her. Out of all the darkest came the brightest light.
When I miscarried we had a friend come over and just talk and be with us. Another friend dropped tea and tissues by my door. Another friend sent us a handmade picture that said "I carried you every second of your life."
Also, I wish doctors would suggest mother's who miscarry (I believe once you conceive, you are a mother) would go to counseling. I waited about 5 months and my grief hit me like a brick. Ironically, 3 weeks into counseling I found out I was pregnant again. That was so helpful during the first trimester.
Another thing that changed for us is that we wanted to announce our second pregnancy as soon as possible. We hated that only the very closest of friends and family knew about the life of our baby until our baby was gone.
Thanks for sharing Delilah! Miscarriage is getting more talked about, so I'm realizing how common and heartbreaking it can be but it's still a taboo topic for a lot of women. I know there are a lot of mommas watching this feeling so reassured they're not alone. My friend had a molar pregnancy last year, basically she had a positive pregnancy test but she was growing a mass of cells. It can have a heartbeat, but hers did not. It happens in only 1% of pregnancies. She had such bad morning sickness and had to have a d and c at 8 weeks. We are praying for a healthy pregnancy and birth for she and her husband soon, they are able to start trying next month!
A life is a life no matter how small
Thank you for sharing this video! I too had a miscarriage and I was 8.5 weeks. I passed everything naturally but I had very intense cramping (to the point where I couldn’t walk and was scrunched up on the couch + a lot of blood like double/triple my normal period).. it was a horrible experience. I’ve also shared my story on my RUclips channel because I think it’s so important to talk about something that is so common but also so heartbreaking. I’ve just recently found out I’m pregnant with my rainbow baby and couldn’t be happier buuut if you’ve reading this and have just recently miscarried and are going through all the emotions, I understand you and am here for you if needed! Again, thank you for sharing your story too.
My beautiful angel is named Jordyn she would have been 6 this year. I had wrote out my story to share but i couldnt bare finishing it. I am at peace with her sacrifice to my little Emmas life, Jo mas just to perfect for this place and i am the proud momma of 2 beautiful healthy little girls today thanks to that becoming of my momma-hood. It will never stop hurting in this lifetime but im so excited to meet her in the next. Thank you for sharing all of you! You are all so brave and wonderful. Every Mothers day each and every one of you are valid mommas dont let anyone make you believe otherwise!!!
Thank you for sharing, It warms my heart to see more and more people bringing this topic to light. I had an intense second trimester missed miscarriage and it was a complete nightmare. The physical/emotional/mental/spiritual pain was unbearable and it shattered me. The first ultrasound I got of that baby was when I saw their perfect little silhouette but unfortunately no heartbeat.
Ultimately it strengthened me as a person and made me not take things for granted as much. This last December, almost exactly one year after we found out about our pregnancy with our baby we lost, we found out we were expecting our rainbow baby. I am days from being 20 weeks and feel so excited and so incredibly scared at the same time, but God is good and he has given us this precious little life to add to our family. We are so blessed and ready to meet this little one! I hope you guys are continuing to do amazing on your healing journey and have a wonderful day. 😊
We had a chemical pregnancy right after our honeymoon. We knew we wanted kids pretty quickly after getting married and took no precaution to prevent it, and then I felt my body changing a few weeks after we got home. Mostly in my breasts (which has since been the telltale sign for me in my following 2 pregnancies). I took a pregnancy test and had a very faint line and took a digital test which confirmed we were in fact pregnant. That was about 3 days before my period was due and I went and dog sat for a friend at her home by myself for a week. While there I got my period. Full on period and was so disappointed. We had told family and a few close friends. My husband also had a much more subdued reaction and I was offended as well. But we got through it together and when we got pregnant about 4 months later I was so afraid of losing the baby. But we have a very healthy and happy 3 year old and a recent addition of his 8 week old brother.
Good for you for educating people about what you know to be true. Good for you for being careful to encourage others to rejoice in what they have in life that exists in the present tense.
I had a MMC at 12 weeks a few years ago, it was my second pregnancy, My first child was 2 at the time. After that I had 2 years of infertility but then had 2 healthy babies after. Most miscarriages are from chromosome abnormalities when the baby doesn't form as it should!
I am praying for all of you who have suffered this kind of loss. May the Lord comfort you all and may you take rest in know you will one day meet your baby.
I’ve had two normal miscarriages around 8 weeks, they were both traumatic on my soul. I just can replay those days back in my head like it just had happened. My s/o and I were wanting a baby so badly, and were so excited when I first found out I was pregnant and then I woke up one day bleeding, and then passed the baby. This is tmi but I remember seeing my baby after passing it and just sitting there crying. It was heartbreaking, I feared that would happen again and it did around the same time the second pregnancy and it truly broke my heart but like you said in the video I knew it wasn’t in my hands and it was in the lords! And not shortly after my second miscarriage I found out I was pregnant again with my little 7 month old! I pray no one has to experience that because it is truly heartbreaking and devastating on someone’s soul. Thank you for always speaking up about it and bringing light to this.
I miscarried yesterday for the first time. It was scary. Thank you for talking about it. Fetus IS a baby! Fetus literally means “baby” in Latin. Thank you for speaking up for pro-life!
I have experienced miscarriage 4 times, the most painful of which happened at 16.5 weeks. I also have 3 healthy kids, all rainbow babies. I thank God for caring for my babes and I look forward to meeting them in heaven. Until then I'll do my best to be a good mama to my 3 earthly kiddos. Thank you for sharing this video. Miscarriage is so isolating
The thought that triggers lots of tears "I have lost a baby" 😢
I want to share my story for anyone who feels hopeless after miscarriage. My husband and I, who are both healthy people, lost our first baby at 7 weeks. Then we lost our second baby as a missed miscarriage at 11 weeks. Then, we lost our third baby, Aliya, as a stillborn baby at 24 weeks.
The doctors couldn't explain any of these losses and it was so, so hard. We'd lost three babies in under two years. But I had a deep desire to try again, even though I didn't know if I would ever have a healthy baby. And so we did, and the Lord gave us our sweet Ruthie. She is almost 6 months old now and is the biggest blessing!
Please, do not give up hope. What you are going through is so, so hard. No one should have to lose a baby (or three babies like we did). But the Lord does love you, more than you can imagine. And there is always hope.
Oh, sweety, I cannot even imagine the kind of pain that you must have gone through. ❤️ ❤️ I truly hope that this topic will soon begin to be less stigmatized, women do not deserve to feel ashamed, no one does.
From the moment sperm meets egg. That baby has a unique genetic code. Everything about them has already been decided. Whether they’ll be boy or girl, tall or short, blonde or brunette. I’ve had 2 miscarriages. I had a very early missed miscarriage and didn’t find out until 8 weeks. I’ll always love those babies and think about them. Pro-life all the way ❤️
Thank you. I had two chemical pregnancies ending in miscarriage in the first year and a half of marriage. It took me a long time to even accept that they even happened and I wasn't imagining. It made me tear up when you said my feelings are valid. Those were still my babies. I now have a beautiful 6 month old that I am so so thankful for. Life goes on and someday I'll get to heaven and get to raise those babies there ❤
10 years ago I had a missed miscarriage. I was 10wks pregnant. We had heard the heartbeat 2 wks before. I had to have a D&C .This was the darkest time in my life. I felt so alone. I felt as though I had done something wrong to cause it. I felt mad at my body for not being able to create a child. I was mad at God. I was mad at anyone I heard complaining about their kids. I couldn't even walk near the baby aisle in stores. There are no words to describe how I felt. 3 months later, we conceived our rainbow baby girl who is now 9, 2 years later her brother came along. I was 35 & 37 yrs old when I had them. With time the loss is easier, but it is never forgotten. Any woman reading this who have newly experienced such a horrific loss, I'm praying for you. Please take care of you, rest, cry, whatever it takes. I found that journaling helped me a lot. The journaling was intended for the child we had lost, however it turned into a journal for my future child. I still write in this journal today that I will give to my daughter one day.
Our first child was a missed miscarriage. I didn’t want a d&c so I had to wait for my body to realize the death. I carried the baby 2 more weeks and prayed the whole time for a miracle because I felt like the life was still there in me. The day before everything passed I felt that life leave. It may sound crazy but it’s what I felt. Sometimes I think about what milestones he or she would be hitting right now but then my two daughters wouldn’t be who they are now. I have fear during pregnancy but I have handed a lot over to the Lord.
I’ve had two miscarriages, in my first i had a subchorionic hemorrhage and had a silent miscarriage where the babies heartbeat was low and then it just stopped entirely. The pregnancy didn’t progress anymore and i did have to have a D&C done. It was horrible but the doctor who performed it made me feel the best i could possible. I felt the same way you did where i just wanted another though i was terrified. I did suffer another after that and that one made me feel even worse but 2 months later i became pregnant again and I’m now 9 weeks! Things are going well this time. Thank you for this video. We do need to talk about miscarriages more. Nobody is alone in this.
This video was just what I needed at the right time. Thank you. A grieving mother to the next
My husband and I suffered 2 miscarriages recently. One a chemical pregnancy a week or so ago, and the other over Christmas 2019. It's been absolutely devastating. I've suffered the loss of my mother(and other close family members) nearly a year ago now too, so it's been a heck of a year you could say. I definitely am terrified to try again but desperately want to grow our family. Please pray for me as I felt my faith weaken after each tragic loss we've had. I know God is real and the Savior to be my brother, but wish I felt them closer in my life and prayers.
I am Pro-choice!
I got pregnant with 19 and had a miscarriage at 8 weeks. My pregnancy was not wanted, I was financially able to afford a child and in a stable relationship. Nevertheless I didn't (and still don't) want kids yet. I got pregnant even tho I took the birth control and condoms. So my baby was one in a million. A wonder I didn't want in the first place. But the loss was the worst thing to ever happen to me. The most painful thing physically and mentally. And no one can ever tell me that as someone who doesn't want kids yet I shouldn't griev or be sad. It's been over 2 years and I am still devastated whenever I remember. I didn't plan it and didn't want it. Which didn't mean I wanted to loose my baby. I would have kept it. I lost my baby within 2 days of finding out.
However I disagree with your views on this "pro-choice world". How i pray and wish for that world where every human being has the right to choose over their own body. I lost my baby and I grieve my baby. But I'm still aware it wasn't actually a baby yet. I am scientist and religious(yes it can go hand in hand) so I understand both point if views. But I do not think it's ok to point fingers amd say because of the pro-choice movement we can't express our sadness or that they belitte out sadness. Because that goes against everything PRO CHOICE stands for. It stands for support every choice, that everyone gets to choose whatever they want. Being pro choice doesn't mean Anti Baby! It means everyone should get to choose themselves. Unlike Pro Life it doesn't eliminate the choice and belief of the other party.
I thought Theo looked so different and I didn’t know why until he smiled 😂 then I realized that he is such a smiley baby that he looked different when not smiling 💖 ily by the way 😘
thank you for being so open and sharing these hard parts of life with us ♥️
I lost my first baby at 4/5 weeks when I was a teenager, and it devastated me even though the timing really wasn't ideal. Now, almost 7 years later, I'm 29 weeks with our rainbow boy. I had a 5D ultrasound last week, and he looks just like my husband, which makes me wonder even more what our angel baby would have looked like. My anxiety about losing him was very high in the beginning of this pregnancy, but I feel pretty comfortable in it now. I was very blessed to feel movements early, and I take his kicks as a reminder that he's doing alright.
Thank you so much for talking about this. I have a little one and hope that I never experience miscarriage in the future. My heart goes out to you and all the women that have gone through such a tragic loss. 💔 :(
I recently lost my second baby at 12 weeks. My baby past about a week ago and I had a D&C a day after. This was one of the hardest things I had to do and go through. I’m still going through it now. Thank you for talking about it on your channel. It so sad but it is common.
My sister, Destiny was having twins and she lost one a couple of weeks ago. We’re still hopeful the other baby grows healthy but she’s still at risk for losing her only baby. She needs some prayers y’all.
I haven’t been pregnant yet, but I can imagine how hard it must be, no matter how many weeks along you are, I imagine the minute I find out I’m pregnant, I’d be excited and thinking about my baby and what this pregnancy is going to be like, I’d be looking forward to something important and amazing, and to have that taken away must be devastating.
I understand the feeling of embarrassment. I was flabbergasted when our church gave us a service in our cemetery on the grounds. They did a meal train, and treated our baby boy’s death like it was real- because it was. Praise the Lord we have ones that will never experience the sin of this world ❤️
I've had two missed miscarriages with no successful pregnancies yet. I will say that with our first my husband mourned just as hard, if not worse, than I did. And he grieved longer than me. Then with the second he recovered in a very short period. Everyone is different and every pregnancy is different, so everyone's grief will look different. Just like women sometimes feel they can't mourn the lost of their unborn child, men feel like they can't either (especially since they're not the ones carrying them). Please, keep this in mind and support angel baby Fathers, too.
Prochoice is not about making mothers who experienced miscarriage feeling like they are not allowed to sorrow. I don’t know what makes you say that and I’m so sorry if anyone makes you feel you are not allowed to mourn for a lost child. There is a way much more into being a prochoice, as a woman I can’t even think of abortion, that’s something i would never do, that’s my choice, yet I’m a prochoice because i know it’s not the same for everyone. I totally respect your point of view and I can’t feel more sad (and somehow angry) about how some people could make a mother feels not rightful about mourn after loosing a child, even if it’s an early miscarriage, but it has nothing to do with being a prolife or prochoice, some people are not able to have any sympathy or empathy and only G-D knows what made them act as trolls.
Ida B it’s either a baby or it’s not. If you couldn’t do it to your own baby you shouldn’t think it’s ok for other babies to be snuffed out before they even get a chance at life
FemiNOT Lady i was not and i am not about to talk about why should anyone be prochoice or prolife here in a comment section of Delilah’s channel -as we all know internet is quiet a safe, calm and fantastic place to talk about serious issues like this, and people would definitely change their mind and beliefs over a comment- the thing that made me sad was how some people make a mother feel bad about mourning over lost of a child. I just want to point out not having an empathy has nothing to do with being prolife or prochoice, many prolife women think a mother shouldn’t mourn because it was the Lord’s decision to takes a child and you are not allowed to feel sad because of that. Any one who think a mother should not feel sad because she has an early miscarriage (with any kind of reasoning behind their manner) should think over their values and morals, prolife or pro choice. no one has the right to decide how a mother should feel or act after such a tragic experience.
Ida B I’ve never ever heard a pro life woman say that lol.
FemiNOT Lady you are both privilege and lucky to not confronting or living with people like that, yet thanks to Internet, they are not that hard to find.
I had two miscarriage's 13 months ago , it was so heartbreaking 😭 it really hit me deep and yes it still hurt but they are apart of me ❤️. Today I have two beautiful rainbow babygirls, 13 months apart ❤️🌈. I won't have it any other way. Just have faith and it do get better ❤️😘🤗.
Been a subscribed for just over a year and completely agree with you on the person from when they're conceived. I fell pregnant at 17 and have a beautiful little girl who is now 4.
I am Pro Choice AND agree with everything you've said. No one has the right to tell a mother how she should feel. All your feelings are valid. For me a Baby is a Baby from the very first second. Thank you for your open words.
Your video came up in my recommended section, so I felt like I had to click on it. You’re encouraging us to share our stories so here’s mine: my husband and I had planned for about 6 months when we were going to start trying for a baby. In February of this year (2020) we started trying and at the end of the month we found out I was pregnant! I was so excited and so ready to be a mom and join so many other women around me in motherhood. We decided to tell my parents just before week 7 started and everyone was so excited and happy. My mother even started crying she was that excited. But three days later in the morning i started cramping... and as the afternoon hit, i started bleeding.. i called my husband in a panic and we went to the hospital. Ive always had really painful periods so this cramping felt like labour to me. It was excruciatingly painful. My blood pressure was weak so the nurses couldn’t get an IV in me to administer pain medication. I was in that state for 3 hours before i just asked if they could give me pain medication in a different form. I got needles because i was quite nauseous and couldn’t swallow anything down that they offered. I was so exhausted and weak from the whole ordeal. For the whole week following i did next to nothing. And this was all fairly recent. March 11 was when i lost my baby. I wish people had told me about miscarriages before it happened to me. It was traumatic and i miss my baby every day. I should be in my third month of pregnancy already.. but the experience wasn’t mine to have yet i guess. Thank you for making this video, I’m subscribed for sure! Please continue to be an angel and shedding light on things that people need to know about, you are doing amazing work ❤️
What a great video! Love your openness and courage to speak your beliefs and truths ❤️
Sending my love and prayers to all the mummas that have had miscarriages. 💕
Hi Delilah! I’m Kat and two weeks ago I experienced the miscarriage of my first child at five and a half weeks. Everything you said resonates so deeply with me and I thank you for it. Maybe what you said about God giving and taking away your baby was for the purpose of this video.
After watching many of your videos, I feel such a kindredness towards you and truly believe we’d be good friends. If you’re ever in Texas, lmk 😂
My first daughter was stillborn in 2018 and I gave birth to my second daughter in 2019 💕 some thankful for my babies. As tragic as my stillbirth was, I had such a wonderful loving pregnancy with my first baby. Her birth was beautiful in its own way and we spent the most amazing 6 hours with her. I miss her everyday and now she is my little angel watching over us and her little sister who is 6 months old now :)
I had a misscarriage at 6 weeks, 3 years later it still hurts and I often wonder what that baby would have been like. I wondered what I did wrong and if I could have done something to prevent it but, I know that wasn't possible. I felt so alone and blamed myself for a very long time. I'm now extremely grateful to have a beautiful 6 month old daughter who is a little character. For anyone going through this or has been through it, know that people can help and you aren't alone ♥
I had a chemical pregnancy and the doctors, nurses, and some of the people I told told me it wasn’t a baby. They said this so much that my husband started to believe it and would tell me the same thing. That is such a hard thing to hear, especially from your spouse. Because of that I stopped talking about it. I knew for a fact that I had just lost a baby. My body was already starting to change and it took me 2 1/2 months before my back, hips, uterus stoped being in so much pain that I wasn’t miserable from just that alone. My breasts were already starting to change to welcome the little one I had lost, too. I had also wanted to try right away after the loss and had gotten pregnant with my rainbow baby three months after miscarrying. Trusting that my second child was going to make through the whole pregnancy was such a challenge for me. I kept telling myself that worrying would only make it more likely to happen. Thankfully God also helped me get through the grieving process and trusting everything would go perfectly for my second pregnancy. I now have a soon to be 7 month old boy. I’m glad you shared your story. It makes me feel better hearing that someone else agrees that my feeling are valid. Sending love and prayers your way! ❤️
I knew about a miscarriage two weeks ago. And I had a curettage by vacuum. Doctors used general anesthesia, so I just fell asleep and woke up when everything was done. After two hours I don't feel any pain or something. Physically I was really good, but emotionally not. It is really hard not to think about your pregnancy, not to think about your future. I think it is really nice to be in a hospital, because I didn't cry a lot when lots of people were around me, so my eyes were wet, but I tried to be strong. After hospital I didn't feel any joy and couldn't even smile. Everything I did was thinking about my expectations. It was really hard to be sad. I didn't want to be sad, but I couldn't. Fortunately in a week I went to a psychologist. She helped me to meet my unborn baby, to say "thank you" for making me stronger and for that happy weeks together. I let him go. I realized that all children feel guilty when their parents are sad and cry. I don't want my "angel-baby" to feel guilty, so I shouldn't cry and should live a happy life. And after that my life became much more easier.
My husband didn't showed emotions, and it made me angry too. He was really upset when I told him that "I lost a baby" not "We". I think it's really good to remember in this situation that men and women are quite different people. And don't expect from your partner same feelings. Men grieve in a very different way.
I'm almost 33 now and my Mom experienced her miscarriage almost 35 years ago. She was stressed that time and she was bleeding, she saw the baby came out of her, she was 6mons pregnant then. She would always tell me she saw my sister that she was full form baby. And until now my Mom would cry in her dream because she could hear a baby cry and she would still remember how my sister looked like.
I'm an only child but I always tell people I have a sister in heaven looking after us (as I'm typing this I'm crying because every baby deserves to live, and I'm still experiencing post partum depression at 10mons).
People with 3rd eye always tell when they visit me at home that they could see a female ghost inside my room, she seems at home. I would tell them that maybe thats my sister who is now a grown up lady.
This is something I was always so terrified of when I was pregnant. I had my little one at 19. She's 5 months old now and such a happy baby. I'm so grateful for her and my heart goes out to anyone who lost their babies 😿❤
I lost my first baby and then got pregnant with her (I *think* she was a girl, but not sure) little sister right after she would have been born. Not a single day of my second pregnancy went by without us both being super terrified all the time. I was constantly worrying. It was horrible. I tried so hard to not get excited, because the first time I got too excited the first time and announced it to everyone right away and I was trying to avoid the same level of trauma. I really thought it was going to happen again. But thank God, it didn't and my sweet girl is 9 months old now. And when I lost my first, I was a newly recovering drug addict and I thank God every day that I honored my baby by not going back to that because of what happened. I really didn't want my child to be the reason I re-ruined my life.
I'm really glad everything went well with your pregnancy and that your little one is healthy and happy. God bless you both.
My heart goes out to anyone who has ever gone through a miscarriage! I could not imagine the pain the loss and the heart ache it must put your through!! All I worried about thought the entire 40 weeks I was pregnant was what if? I constantly panicked. I constantly worried that I was going to lose my daughter. It was traumatic and has stuck with me for all these years and kind of scares me getting pregnant again! I have never miscarried but the fear for 9months was enough to put me off!
“A person is a person, no matter how small.”
My first pregnancy ended in a very early miscarriage. Maybe 4-5 weeks, and we weren’t trying, and I was on birth control, but I knew, even before the missed period. It was awful pain. My family is very pro choice, and think there is no loss of a person there. I didn’t even tell them for a few months because I couldn’t handle it that they wouldn’t understand, or wouldn’t think the baby really existed.
We were still preventing when I got pregnant with our son, who is SO active! He kicked on the screen at 8 weeks and kicked me hard during delivery! He wasn’t planned, but he’s such a gift.
I’m atheist, and very pro life.
Pro choice seems like a horrific misnomer. That baby has no choice, but they deserve one.
As a sonographer (ultrasound tech) I’ve had to assist in D&Cs in the OR. We do ultrasound guidance for the doctor to show where the placenta is and make sure they get everything. I dread these scans because they are so so heartbreaking for me. They never get easier and I never get desensitized to it. The loss of such a tiny fragile life still hurts.
I had a miscarriage January 2020 at 5 weeks. We are still healing. Have been trying for a baby since September 2019. I pray the Lord helps us feel content where we are now and that He may bless us with child if He wills.
Thank you for sharing your heart, so brave of you! God bless you and your family ❤️
After my missed miscarriage at 19 weeks last year, I was the same as you. I just wanted space. To be alone at home, just my husband and I. I didn't even want my mom coming over and giving me company, which she didn't really understand. After some time to process and grieve, I was okay talking about it. Nine months later, I found out I was pregnant at 3 weeks, told family at 4 weeks, and lost it at 5 weeks. Family didn't seem to really feel that I had lost a pregnancy that time since it was so early, and everyone just carried on as if nothing had ever happened. It's definitely seen differently when you lose the pregnancy really early, but it feels just as awful as a later loss. I'm 13 weeks pregnant now, and haven't told anyone at all. No desire to, just like you said you experienced with your third. Right now, I'm happy enjoying this secret just between my husband and I.
Thanks for sharing your story.. is so sad that people enjoy to hurt another, they don't have the right to tell you that it wasn't a baby.. of course she/he was and some day you will hug your baby in heaven
Since you're doing girl talk videos I would love to see a video on women who are harshly judged for not having children. This is something that is not addressed enough. Please do a video on this. It would mean so much to me.
Although we may not share the same views on things, I am glad you were able to open up about this and share your story. I don’t even plan on having children for years yet I watched this whole video because I know how it effects others. I also found it comforting how you don’t force your views on other people, even if you disagree with them.
I suffered from a missed miscarriage last April and it was something I never thought would happen to me. I was around 9 weeks along and I went to get an ultrasound to confirm the actual gestational age. The tech couldn’t find a heartbeat and said that I probably wasn’t as far along as I thought and I left feeling very off and confused. A couple days later I felt very crampy. I had cramps with my first pregnancy but these were different. That night I woke up with excruciating cramps and when I got up to use the bathroom there was fresh blood and I knew that we’d lost the baby. Luckily my body passed everything and did not have to get a D&C. I just didn’t understand why my body would do this and kept trying to figure out what I did wrong. I had to accept that it was out of my control and there was another plan for us and to be thankful that I had a healthy little boy who had turned one recently. I found out I was pregnant again with our rainbow baby last June and he is due any day now 🌈❤️ I was so nervous in the first trimester that I didn’t tell anyone until I was in the second trimester. My husband knew too of course, but I didn’t even tell my parents because I didn’t want to cause anymore heartbreak if something were to go wrong again. I’m so happy you made this video because it should be something more talked about. ❤️
Thank you so much for talking about this. I love you and your beautiful family
I had one 3 years ago and I acted so strog because everybody around me were devastated. Also I had to go to operation because of it. I took me few months ( after first shook) to truly go though that trauma. To this day I am scared of getting pregnant again. I have fear of hospital and getting through all that again, sad part is that nobody trully understands what it is like around me. I hope I'll find my strenght again. Thanks for speaking about it. Sending you love and blessings
My first pregnancy was a chemical pregnancy. About a week after my positive test I started bleeding in the shower and my husband and I went to the ob-gyn. My pregnancy test there was negative and I was lead to believe that maybe I never really was pregnant. But I remember just how fatigued I was at that time and I was showing all the symptoms. A month later I became pregnant with my precious daughter. Thank you for sharing and bringing me back to that painful experience (as weird as that sounds). I have so much to dwell and pray about. I never really got to grieve because I felt confused and unsure at that time. Honestly I forgot about it until now. Thank you for sharing.
My partner and I are trying for about 1 and 1/2 years and I had a miscarriage about 10 days ago.
When I found out I was sooooo happy, it would have been my first pregnancy. I was on cloud 9 for 5 days and I felt so guilty when I miscarried. I thought I shouldn't have played with the dogs we were visiting etc etc.
I was so in shock that I told my boss I need the day off because I have a miscarriage ( poor guy, such a message on a monday morning out of nowhere). What helped me a lot was being upfront with my collegues in the same room ( both mothers) and talking to a friend who had miscarriages before. It is so common!
Knowing that I'm not the only one, that I'm not guilty and that nothing would have prevented this was really helpful.
It is such a tabou but this is not helping the people who are going through this.
We need to talk about it more.
Thank you for this amazing video and for being so honest and open. You're so strong. XOXO