CRAIG RETURNS!! The DM Who Broke The Rules r/rpghorrorstories
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- Опубликовано: 26 авг 2019
- Craig is back! Thats not a good thing. Turns out, he's not only a bad player, but a bad DM too! Who would have guessed?
CRAIG STORY #1 • Guy gets mad and jealo...
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"Roll to not have your way with this child"
It was time for Thomas to leave. He had seen everything.
cleric: well it's time for this campaign to go out like james did: *derailed*
Cinders and Ashes! :O
It was at this moment that he knew. Craig's deepest desire was for Thomas to be a paedophile.
Yea I'd nope the fuck out of that one and never return.
Did he take the pebble from your hand?
*gordon willingly throws himself through the station wall*
"Why did they keep playing?"
You don't stop looking at a car crash midway through, man.
This!
Yeah but if it's one you're involved in you don't stop! Now if you happen to see a car wreck, one that you're not involved in YOU STOP IMMEDIATELY!!! I'm just a guy driving around looking for a little fun and I can't be stopping for everything
Unless you see blood and have to throw up. If you need to throw up when you see blood. Then you would probably look away
@@privatizitat815 You keep watching, you see the blood, you throw up and you ask yourself why you didn't look away, to which I answer "You don't stop looking at a car crash midway through, *even if you want to*"
Honestly finding a new group isn't an option for everyone.
There are so many red flags from Craig that I could recreate the Soviet Union with them
Oh, I like that analogy. Ha ha! I hope you don't mind if I start using that one.
(The only similar joke I have goes something like, "There are so many red flags packed so densely in here, you'd think he was playing Minesweeper instead of D&D.")
He had more red flags than Danganronpa characters had death flags
More red flags than a naval yard
"Roll to *not* bang a child"
*proceeds to stand up and leave and never return*
my thoughts exactly. Maybe even tear up character sheet for good measure... it had become sullied by Craig...
"roll" and "to" and "bang" and "child" already are words that should not be there. Im not sure if having to make what's essentially a will save to NOT do this is worse or not.
Stands up blasts Craig in the fucking face
how to roll not fuck child
Relax guys, she probably actually was several 1000 years old. That one always works xD
The blind hag sounds like an amazing character tbh
Yeah. I legit though they were going to finish 'we all agreed that' with 'was an awesome idea".
I actually want to play an extremely nearsighted Olenna Tyrell type that’s a magic user of some kind with a noble background, so I was excited for her. Kinda sad they got rid of her.
I mean, Shakäste from Critical Role did that gag great, and I'm certain they could have pulled it off just as well, whatever way they spun it.
My first thought was how fun that would be to play. XD was really tempted to build a character with that concept in mind.
Things like that start out fun to play, but they quickly start to bog down play.
I had a Kenku who could only spoke with fixed sentences. I played it rigidly early on, but then it started to become a pain for all involved, so I started easing up and focused on only doing the set sentences for dramatic or comedic scenes.
Otherwise, I just conveyed what I wanted to say.
Craig is worse than the guy with the lvl 20 dmpcs and the airship
Someone once summoned three hundred wolves all with diseases which would resurrect when killed in a role-play I heard about. Then, there was the role-play I played in where this creature played by another character was literally trying to eat god himself.
That one was awful. I think it was the first crit crab vid I saw though.
Ha. A DnD game I was once in featured a PC Barbarian who had basically but not mechanically found themself in the position of a warlock. This PC was openly working towards "eating his god" and the GM agreed that this was an appropriately ridiculous thing to strive toward.
My character being a massive magic and religion nerd, has been making records of every cult ritual we've ever come across and eventually get the idea to transcribe runes of power that originally channeled the vitality of sacrifices into necromancy rituals.
I announce to the GM that I am going to try to do this in such a way that should transfer power from the sword-bound evil god, into the berserker. A few sessions later I am caught up to speed and apparently what at one point had seemed like a lurking BBEG is now literally gone and the berserker now has immortal powers.
I swear there are better ways to handle this?
Oh god not Tim
@@lanceknightmare
Okay, the first one about the wolves is awful...
But a player character trying to eat god actually sounds hilarious.
The underaged girl part would have been the moment where I stood up, left and never came back.
I'm not going to lie I probably would've lost my shit at the DM
No, that’s when you start recording for blackmail material
@@impossibletetriz563 He would have been if he'd stayed long enough. This story just highlights the problem with making DnD more "inclusive". The scum and slime come crawling out of the woodwork thinking they can join in too.
There is also an Anime I've seen literally called Tatoo, so it could be that
I would’ve fbi d his ass, that’s creepy behavior
"An insane blind old magical hag with an owl familiar that serves as her eyes"
Welp, I know who my next DnD character is.
Writer: My friend made a crazy old woman with a Owl Familar, we didnt know what he was thinking
Gothi: Potatoes....
I was thinking the same thing when they got to it
you know honestly it's funny how that campaign is so well thought out and respected even though we only heard about it because someone ended up unleashing the terasque at level 6
Liam da Lemon! So true
Excellent reference 👌💛
This is my rock. His name is Dwayne
DM: “Do you force yourself on the young girl?”
Player: “Fuck no!”
DM: “Hmmm, lets have you roll for that. She’s a very charming fifth grader you know.”
Player: okay I'll Force myself onto them
DM: how do you fu*k them?
Player: oh no I'm not r*ping them, I'm attacking them by tackling them. that's how I *Force* *myself* onto people
DM: ... oh
"Exaltation tattooed on her body"
The anime that Craig got that from was "Is it wrong to pick up girls in a dungeon?"
Thank you, I just knew that there had to be an anime with that
Ok. What about the weird ass water nymph that produced a full grown person? That from an anime too?
@@getthegoons Not sure but there's a video game series called Conception where you dating sim to sleep with girls which instantly produces children as your combat units. Yep, sounded weird when I saw it come to Steam, too.
@@KazumiKiguma I heard of that. I think it's called Fire Emblem in Japan.
@@KazumiKiguma Also a very shitty anime. Read the plot to it and it sounded like someone screwed up when putting their story pitches into envelops to mail out to production studios and the Hentai plot was sent to a normal studio which went ahead and made it without the sex.
*plays Exalted, any edition*
*forbids knowledge of rules*
Me, an Exalted fan: "ABANDON SHIP! MORTALS AND DRAGON-BLOODS FIRST!"
@@tspawn35 yea big red flag, it's fine the first session being unpowered then getting thier powers but ti run without them... unless yea trying to play a mook campaign. While sounds interesting, from a roleplay perspective, would I think require consent as basically one wrong step = death.
@@Patrickf5087 not really for exalted
Exaltation is meant to be incredibly personal. IE best explained in exposition rather then played out in character. Exalting is a background element.
Exactly. Hell, I wouldn't put together a 2e campaign, let alone 3e, unless everyone had their own books and read ahead of time. Exalted's lore is fantastic but there are a metric fuckton of rules and you gotta be on point.
I loved the Exalted setting and concept...this makes me sad, lol.
You can't abandon the ship without permission. You are under magical contract and will die if you do so.
"Roll to resist banging the underage girl." "No." "Well, your stat says-" "No." "Well, you can't ju-" "No."
I think stuff like this is what the shiny, red, NOPE button was made for in tabletop RPGs. But jesus,. why? As far as I can tell, the reason they keep going back is they just have no one to play with... but christ, I don't care how bad roll20, it is generally not like this.
I would just leave immediately
I think what surprises me the most is how none of the other guys in the game called him out on how inappropriate that was. Everyone wants to express outrage, but apparently not when it's needed the most.
@@Droemar I think its the whole "A bunch of people watch as someone beats someone to death, and no one helps." Everyone thinks someone else will step in, and then nobody does.
@@Diresilence I think everyone there was hoping the OP would pass that check too if he failed then they would have said something
cleric: don't worry guys I got this
(casts command)
cleric: sleep
(player collapses)
cleric: no need to thank me
"to have his way with the undera-" *clunk* nope nope nope nope...
Is it bad that I laughed hysterically at the clunk? Just for the mental image of how physical crab's reaction was
I would have noped him right then and there
nope, nope stop talking go to jail!
The thing is, I can *kinda* see the appeal of the "drip-feed characters powers." If I were doing it, I'd give characters powers that suit their actions - if you run into melee, maybe you get some special armor/protection, or your weapon does more damage, or whatever. If you're more the group's face character, maybe you get some kind of charm or enchantment power.
But this? Nah. This is the GM just screwing around, playing favorites, and trying to force his players to run through his story. Honestly, Craig should really just write a damn book if he wants this kind of control.
Honestly I was thinking about this and like give them OP abilities (mage can like I don't know have extra damage from spells I have never played D&d would love to so I don't know how it works) but then have like extreme drawbacks or something like you can only use the powered up spells once a day or you damage yourself when using the powered up spells or whatever
That sounds like the Exp system of the early Final Fantasy.
Letting the characters have the chance of choosing them would help, you don't need to give them the book and let them pick at will, but just giving them what you _think_ they are trying to play withouth asking them is just.... no, at least tell them what's gonna happen beforehand
The underaged girl parts are disgusting. I understand why that mechanic was added to the system, but THIS. THIS IS DISGUSTING AND IT’S BEING USED AWFULLY.
Seriously, Craig needs to see a psychiatrist if he's implementing pedophilia in a custom game.
@@knox7945 It's an unfortunate trend found in a lot of anime. It's pretty much been normalised in anime culture. I watch anime myself but this loli thing has got to stop.
That would be an instant "I'm never playing with this GM ever again" even if it was an isolated incident.
I mean, dark stuff can make a good campaign and it honestly wasn’t too long ago when getting married at 14 was the norm, and having children by 16.
i5m1thy
A loli can be over 18, there are women out there who look way younger than they actually are.
Craig's going to end up in the news someday and not in a good way!
Lol You think?!
Yeah, its gonna make DnD look bad, it's been that route before, we don't need it to go through it again.
@@knox7945 tbf hes probably going to auto asphyxiate before that happen
"Great, he's making a harem that no one asked for."
"Parts of the Rulebook are not for your eyes!"
Allow me to hoist up the red flag!
people needed
v
I would raise the red flag, pole and all, and Whack Craig in the head with it.
OMG I hate favorism from GMs. it's nothing like having your character be a over glorified NPC
read that as terrorism
it's a horrible parent slash DM. As a DM these characters are your kids usually and each deserve their moment to shine, but you have to build that stuff. It doesn't always come from them, but they will usually find their way there if you can guide them there.
my GM has favortism towards the two players that RP the most, and those most excited to do stuff.
D Brown as a dm I’ve played favourites before, and I don’t actually think I was wrong to, so this is my first game DMing actual D&D, so I don’t know the System all that well, but I figured that I’d just make the PCs more powerful on a vastly accelerated rate, but we had a munchkin and several other neophytes, so the Munichkin become godly because he knew the system really well, and my party... they did not otherwise, so I started buffing them here and there to help them keep up, didn’t matter, the munchkin soloed my boss, but... such is life.
sometimes favoritism happens. as a GM you just have to check yourself and take the time to spread the love, sorcerer has a big compelling arc that ends with their father being a tyrannical dictator, give the father a cool sword so the fighter gets something shiny out of killing him. barbarian has a moment of redemption and defeats his tribe leader in honorable combat, maybe tribe leader has a scrying orb because he's a dumb barbarian and shiny.
You're a brave man for reading this. I appreciate you, bruh.
Aw, thanks dude. I'm just hiding in my panic room trying to recover.
@@CritCrab Good. You do you a long rest and get some hot cocoa or something because that shit got the *dark* kinda of cringey reeeaall fast.
I actually really like the old lady with an owl bit. I don't understand what makes her a bad idea
It sounds like it could be a great character in a well run game with magic(direct mental link to bird). This was a low magic game at the start so the bird would be as helpful as a seeing eye dog IRL and the GM didn't know what he was doing.
Seems a cool character. Probably difficult for them to RP!
If you like that, you should watch the Fool's Gold series by Dingo Doodles.
Sometimes D&D works and sometimes your character gets turned into some sort of hentai protagonist against your will. Thats just how it is i guess
I'd rather see a player become the hentai protagonist on their own.
First you need hair that covers your eyes...
"Exalted is D&D, right?"
I made an isekai joke character for a DnD campaign and if he was forced into the harem protagonist role I'd just ask my friend "wtf even dude?". Then I'd leave at the underage fucking moment
I mean, I would probably watch a show where the main character gets turned into a hentai protagonist but attempts to not be one the whole time.
@@Nyghtking I think there's an actual manga about that.
DM: QUICK, Roll temperance to stop yourself from raping people.
Jurgen: Hanz get me the Flammenwaffer there is degeneracy afoot.
"I understand Craig is their friend-" Is he, though. Is he really, given all this.
well, they stuck around long enough for there to be a part three so at this point, maybe.
@@Midnight-wh2bs I mean, I'm sure they considered him a friend, what I'm saying is that doing so was probably the Geek Social Fallacies in action more than anything resembling actual friendship.
14:18 "Realizes people don't like when you remove player agency"
Umm... From the sound of it, it really doesn't sound like Craig realized or learned anything. The game only stopped when he got bored. The legacy of Craig's sufferance shall continue
To be honest, getting your superpowers from exaltation little by little instead of all at once doesn't sound bad. Sounds kind of cool, like a more natural character development
dude when you said "what a champ" the echo scared the hell outta me o
as i was doing something else while listening
XD nah fam, That was the voice of God coming to judge you. /s
@@CritCrab God is terrifying. Next time imma go straight to church, and force my way in.
Same dude
@@sheol4557 It's me, Margaret!
I'm sorry, I... I just couldn't resist! Please forgive me.🤣
Dude, we were promised a trilogy of Craig, don’t you go blueballing us now
would you call it Craig's List?
@@xRaalx yes
@@xRaalx OMG! A fellow Pungeon Master, huh?
Mantra of the Modern DM: If it's on Craig's List it is not allowed!
Part 3, Craig discovered Panty Explosion.
That's my bet.
3rd player is out now
I just wanna see a cross over now with Craig, The fairytale DM and the Flavor Bomber where they team up to ruin a D&D game in the most spectacular way possible
i would pay money to see that
Would they wage war against each other or would they rather work together to bring ungodly fire onto some poor adventurers
With Marty Stu being the GM. Oh god that would be the biggest dumpster fire the world will ever see.
Throw Airship guy into the mix and we got us a _proper_ Hell on Earth!
oh god they would rip eachother apart or become the closest of friends, probably rip eacother apart
Nice touch there with the end of the sentence saying that "It's nice, we proceeded to create our characters" with the scripted death in Skyrim... that's effectively saying "We signed up to play a toxic game of death."
"We had these mini-sessions where we where rewarded by a charm..."
Sounds like a good system to me.
"...of his choosing of course."
Hell, no!
I read this as he said it. Was weird.
FBI, OPEN UP!
Why do people have to ruin everything :(
It's a complex problem.
>Stoic but easily flustered. What?
Thats like saying "She was fearless but easily scared."
i can be your angle....or i can be yuor devil...
Wait, a game that doesn't allow reading the rules?!
I fail to see how that would ever end well at all
There are tabletop games where it's encouraged as a player to know as little of the rules as possible (PARANOIA comes to mind) but this? This ain't it, chief.
All aboard! All aboard! Next stops, GM fuckery, fiats and attempts to play the character via compulsion...!
@@SorceressJacklyn exalted is not that game
@@themagicdoctor4586 ... I did mention this was not that kind of game.
"Now roll to restrain yourself from touching the child pass no return"
**Slowly gets up. The party and the DM looks on in confusion until the next action; turns away from everyone, getting to a ball form and in a span of seconds, rolls in mach speed out of the place while yelling "NOPE." many times on the way out.**
I have a feeling Craig rolls self control whenever he sees kids and he wanted it to be realistic.
You know he buys in to the "She's really a 500 year old vampire so its okay" rhetoric.
DM: you are all registered sneifneger's
player: WHAT THE FU-
Just like Craig's friends, I too wish to see this tale of anime woe to the end, the sunk cost fallacy is too great at this point.
'...nobody is forcing them to be there...'
Unless they were...heare me out...what if this is all a screenplay for the next saw movie???
he literally had a "teleport's behind you, nothing personal kid" moment
Notes from a NG human Idiot;
I swear this is like watching a Train Wreck : it's horrible & ugly,but you can't look away.I HAVE to know how this ends...
I've been a DM & Player for going on 31 years now, and i've been in some pretty rough games(i was first introduced to the hobby be a bunch of Power Gamers/Game Terrorists.And it was THACO AD&D on top of that!) but in that entire time,i have NEVER run into as bad a DM/Player as Craig.After this game,i wouldn'tve let this SOB anywhere near my gametable without at least a Written agreement(co-signed by a practicing Lawyer) that he would never do this junk again.
While the DM part of me see's where his idea was and applaud the novelty,he went RIGHT OFF the rails & crashed into Creepytown USA by session 2,which should've warned the players that somethin' was Rotten in the State of Denmark....
May your Pantheon ever favor you,
Baron Trevelyan of Restenford
"Roll for temperance to avoi-" "No" "What?" "No. My character isn't into kids so I'm not rolling shit, Craig." Then stare him down until he relents.
The proper thing to do. i mean I probably would've just left.
For me: The moment the GM decides to turn the adventure into Game of Thrones by making me ROLL. A CHECK. TO AVOID MOLESTING A CHILD is the moment I just close up my books, start packing up and walking out to my car going "Nope. Nope.... Nope! NOPE! *NOPE. NOPE.* *NOPENOPENOPENOPENOPE* "
What happens when a bad player becomes DM? Well sign me up for a good story.
"Roll to not have his way with her."
It was at that point that the little crab donned his hat and quietly shuffled out the nearest door.
I love watching the quality of your videos improve, the audio balance has gotten leagues better
Thanks! I'm really trying!
Yeah I followed the link to watch Craig#1 and the first thing I noticed was how much better the audio is even from only a few months ago. Good work.
As someone who plays exalted a lot please don’t tell me this ruined the opinion of this system for ya
Hell naw, I've actually eyeballed exalted because of it. Sounds like a really cool concept.
Honestly I love playing Exalted. You're encouraged to do all sorts of things in the most flashy way possible and you just get so much flexibility with what you want to do.
One of the most wild sessions I had played was playing an Elder Solar Exalt in the First Age and I was fighting one of the mistresses of fate. Specifically the war one, in an arena. Her and I had thrown so much magic power into defense and attack respectively it looked like a damn DBZ fight taking place and I ended up cutting through fate itself to give her one lethal damage. Neither of us had any motes (magic) left after that one round and it was fuckin' amazing!
What Craig did to this game? I hope he burns for how he massacred this beautiful game.
One of my favorite moments was when my Dawn Solar (warrior) & his Lunar wife were attacked in the bedroom by assassins. My Solar imbued a pillow with divine power and decapitated one assassin, while his wife turned into a giant murder-tiger and ripped the other to pieces.
Good times.
I was sold at “Laser Raptors”
""Why are they still here?!"
To see were this titanic sinks. Thats what.
when i dmed for my schools fandom club last year. due to it being the end of the year, and being a senior. I dropped the boss fight right on top of the players (at lvl 4)- which they appeared to absolutely loved, the way i described it.
all my players had the mentality of its the last session lets go out in a bang.
"the sound in the city seems to have silenced compared to the sound filling your eardrums now, (for the people who said they were) you look up to see a large burning mass falling from above, before you can even blink- Booooom it hits the city, knocking out half the city only 30ft in front of you, you and the other party members are lucky to have been right outside the explosion range. what appears to be a metal door opens, showing what appears to be over a dozen half dragons- or they look like half dragons or a dragon born. -everyone roll initiative.
if her exaltation is "Tattooed" on her then she's like a lunar.. oh who am I kidding I doubt Craig even knows who the Unconquered Sun is
Just from playing the system a few times, it sounds like Kara was a Lunar Exalted. They are basically close to the same power as Solars, and in the past were their mates. They were also the changing breed, shape shifters with powers that while different were similar in scale. The tatoos on their body help them control their shape shifting.
10:09 - _Every player said: "But she is not even here!" Craig said: "Just wait!" Then Raga materialized behind the badass painter and shred him into strips of flesh and tasty blood mist in one attack. Really climactic._
...That's what you get for letting David Benioff DM your game! XD
After watching through the whole thing... holy shit, I take that back. Not even DB would stoop to such lows.
well at least antasma was an actual boss! this is some serious bullsh*t!
"Roll to not be a child molester"
Aight, ima head out
If any DM said "you're not allowed to read the rules", I would have said "NOPE" and walked away right then and there.
And that story...yea, that's messed up and just disgusting.
"the ending would involve one character (not the party) killing all of the gods and redee-"
such good writing
The unmentioned detail, Craig is the whole group's dealer/bookie... I swear these fools must owe him money... lololol.
The drip feed could be an interesting idea if done right.
IIRC theres some throwaway lines in one of the Exalted books when they describe Exaltation that it can come on more subtle over the course of a few days/weeks. And for a game like Exalted, which drops an overwhelmingly powerful PC in your lap, I can see it being a good idea so the players can get used to knowing what they can do. I know I was lost my first game of Exalted because I had such crazy strong powers. BUT, taking that out of the players' hands is a bad way to do it. It might have worked better to create two versions of the character: Post Exaltation full power character and their pre-exaltation starting point. Then run a few sessions where they grow in to their power, buffing their stats so that they end up with their full power within a few sessions of gameplay.
This all assumes you have someone who is a competent GM and not a Craig.
I actually do the drip feeding thing in DnD 5E and everyone seems to be okay with it. Nobody has told me to not do it and they seem to be using the given power-ups so it seems fine. I find the easiest way to do it is to make it an addition to normal progression instead of replacing it. The PCs are gaining levels normally and every 3 levels, I give them a custom feat that's tied to their character. I also try to make the extras as fair as possible though I will admit I don't always manage it. (Last time, the wizard got the unintentional shaft so I'm trying to fix my mistake now)
One time my friend started a game with me and 1 other person and the "dm" was also part of the game, I had no problem with this BUT he would go home and level up the same character so he would ALWAYS be ahead of us. It would have been ok if he had a separate sheet so his character would at least been close to our level
Thank you for making this a playlist.
It makes it so much easier to watch the saga
to put it in anime terms so creig can under stand (if he watches)
His cringe is OVER 9000!!!
Even Dragon Ball Z gives its supporting cast more time in the spotlight. Has Craig ever actually watched an anime? How has he not heard of the power of friendship lol
Craig! I’ve been waiting for this sequel! This was worth the wait.
I started choking on my coffee as soon as he got to "temperance check"
"You cant read the rulebook" and that is where I would be done
Of course he sees an edge Lord character and tries to basically make them his character and give them everything he’d want. Screw the player wanting a redemption arc, he liked them as they were
Craig wins...
CRAIG ALWAYS WINS!!!!!
At some point, I feel like they stay in just to watch the dumpster fire
Im a GM, and i have this problem with a "favorite character", but its the players that had a favorite, and if anything hurts him, the other players basically give up because "If he cant defeat it, none of us can" and i dont know what i can do
give the players insparation?
These videos are addicting.
Wheres the link to the first video? Anyways notification squad hype
@@kidanhone6048 Oh its there now, it wasnt there when I first clicked on the video
NOTIFICATION 🦀🦀🦀 SQUAD 🦀🦀🦀
@@CritCrab 🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀
"First rule, don't read the rule book."
Second rule, don't play with that GM!
Everything that follows is just further proof of that. On multiple levels.
Brings a whole new meaning to "save or suck".
Start a petition to ban Craig from GMing for all of eternity
Fun stuff (long) here, tl;dr at the bottom:
I was once a level 3 Paladin, who had been abused and disposed of by his parents when he was a child (lashes, forced to work ast an early age, thrown out as they were traveling workers). He now really *really* hates evil and injustice, to the point to where he became a Paladin, just to have the power and role of punishing evil people... by crucifying, ridiculing, and killing people in public, his first victims being his parents.
Essentially he was supposed to be a character to warm up to the jolly, but nearly always drunk, dwarven fighter, realize there's more to life to crucifixion, and eventually become a warm, but strict, Paladin who stopped crucifying people everywhere he went, and instead try to teach other Paladins, and turn those who were after revenge/punishing evil (like himself).
Long story short, after a few meetings and a dungeon, we come across a female Paladin Amazon Warrior who is supposed to be incredibly strong. She was in charge of protecting a tower or something. I walk in, being the edge-lord I am (I don't speak much, and when I do, it's typically just to the fighter, or our healer. Fk the mage and assasin) she immediately "falls" for me, when we are attacked by giant 20 foot tall centipedes or something.
I go out to the front lines, basically "let loose" my pent up anger from not killing anyone in 3 days (yea, uhhh, I have a lot of debuffs and insanity... it's also fun having a Paladin with a -2 charisma modifier but with maxed out politics skill with a decent amount of influence, not to mention my order was one of the "strongest" in the realm, essentially saying "I get everyone mad at me, but if need be, I can and will have my way slaughter dozens of people, and no one can really stop me, except for my party or Order") . Warrior Amazon Paladin (who is later a Princess?) who is nearly a decade younger than me comes on to me. I have to use a *NEGATIVE CHARSIMA MODIFIER* to stop her advances... She has a +4 Charisma Modifier... *rolls a 7* WELL TIME TO GET GROOVY!
Yea, long story short, while it was funny at the time, my Edge-lord Paladin Ainsle basically had *furious pent up sex* (from being battle-drunk and crazed, that and she was *apparently* borderline into bdsm apparently) with a 17 year old woman he had just met, and she is apparently crazy at sex. It was a very uncomfortable moment that I had to act out (I'm more of a "keep quiet" sort of guy so the rp here was very awkward). In the end though, no regrets. She joined our party, had a lot of influence in the kingdom, and whenever I needed to pass a "test" that was linked to Charisma, I just asked her to do it on my behalf (she essentially acted as a "familiar/character hybrid". She had her own rules, stat-sheet and everything, but I controlled 2 Paladins). I essentially treated her like a tool (that's just who my character is) and just as I was "warming up to her" the DM ended the campaign and we started another one...
I miss that campaign ;-; It was one of the weirder ones, but still very fun... Just wanted to throw in some of the weirder roles that I was forced to play before... Also, I never *EVER* run a Paladin with - charisma modifiers anymore... There's something about GM's wanting to screw with Paladins... (A recent campaign, halfway through I was in a ball-room talking to high level nobility, when a woman suddenly wanted screw me, different GM btw. She had multiple +charisma modifiers, we knew this because she had been able to out-charm anyone in my party and even other nobility, while I was at -1 Charisma modifier. I rolled a nat 20, while she apparently rolled really horribly as our DM let out a *sigh* after rolling... Or so we thought because I was suddenly entranced, walked into a hidden entrance, where she informed me of an Assassination plot on the King (what we were trying to prevent as an un-related third party, hired unbeknownst to the supposed assassins, but only after having sex with her. SERIOUSLY DM's, cut it with this crap >:[ My Paladins are just men (with one female Paladin I played) who just want to smash face, and progress the human race, not run around as would be prostitutes of "justice" >:(
tl;dr: It's rare for me to run into a campaign that whenever I mention "I'm a Paladin" that the DM *doesn't* take it upon himself to force a love interest on to me, whether I be a psycho-pathic murder-bot of "justice", or an actually decent Paladin who just wants to bring peace to the land. I assume this isn't normal :/
To be fair, you WERE smashing face and progressing the human race.
*Rimshot*
That Sword of Creation bullshit to kill all the gods is literally just Charles's plan in Code: Geass. Good going, Craig.
I mean I would like to stand against gods as a high level character to show the peak of your skill but this is the biggest bullsh*t I have heard since a DM made a player almost invincible because they legally got killed in PVP that they started for no reason
Roll not to frick child
DISCORD ROLL BOT:👁👄👁 ITS MY TIME TO SHINE
Is it bad that I'm listening to all these shit stories, and take the ideas from them to turn into the awesome?
The drip feeding powers can actually be cool when done properly
another story about Craig... DON'T DO IT! I almost vomited because of the whole underage girl thing.
I know he said "hello friends, critcrab here"
But I heard "Craig crap here" 🤣🤣🤣
I'm scared yet curious on the Craig finale
Even evil has standards. Underage girl? *NO THANK YOU FBI I'M GOOD.*
craig should take "how to be evil" lessons from malikar, at least he would improve that way
So uh, why is there a picture of my friend in your thumbnail?
i got an add right after he smacked his mic from the child bit
legit perfect timing
I think ultimately the reason ppl didn’t leave was “well bad game night is better than no game night” which is a shitty way to think about it but it does happen more than you think it does
Yup
Excuse me when you play a whitewolf game you study that shit cover to cover
Out of curiosity, are those games particularly rule-heavy?
@@akl2k7 depends on the dm/st but they are very rp heavy
For the love of god, why do your Skyrim is so vanilla?
Cause vanilla Skyrim is still fun.
@@demonheart13 What demon have possesed you my child?
demonheart13@ very true my man
@@thetopol8534 possessed me? No my friend, it is my goal to possess all. Hell shall freeze over and vanilla shall be all that is left. And I will rule over the frozen abyss. Muahahaha!!!
@@demonheart13 You are 20% worse than Hitler >:O
At this point the police needs to start investigating this guy.
*AND THERES A PART THREE?!?* How could it possibly top *this* ?
ive never played dnd, and half the time im lost on the terms and rp of the whole story, but i still love hearing the campaigns that ppl make, how they literally(in my eyes) try their best to make a story with random charters at times and deal with ppl who are either crazy or too ridiculous to be true. keep it up b, one day i might play and you find my story on here to.
No one around Craig is playing a game. They're watching Craig write a book.
They were all a bunch of weirdos, Craig was just the weirdo king.
Honestly, I feel like obscuring info from certain players is a fair trick if done right (for example, in a campaign I'm in now, my character has a LOT of secret info as a result of being, essentially, an assassin sent by the King of the land to keep an eye on his party mates, and a part of an assassin order frequently employed by said king for...various unsavory work). But the key is to distribute the secrets. Say, having characters with shady pasts who are loath to reveal that they were, say, in a cult to the BBEG in the past, or a criminal who's trying to hide that by masquerading as someone else.
2:50 Jesus Christ, you scared the shit out of me. I was playing Prey while listening to this in the background...
Being there in person was likely a spectacle to behold. Like seeing a train wreck but unable to turn your eyes away.
Good gravy, CritCrab, you hit that spider so hard it phased into the ground!
Subbed at 2.4k, was there for the 10k goal, lets smash that 100k crab army!
So on part 1 of the Craig saga, I commented along the lines of: "He may not be ALL bad."
The fact he thinks it necessary for a random adult character to resist forcing themselves on a child definitely implies he has a serious problem, because I can only imagine you as a person must find it a logical thing to happen in order to apply it to your game world. He probably needs professional help.
If the third part of the Craig saga manages to top this, I will be gobsmacked.
Your Channel is a Blast. You have my Subscribtion for sure. Keep up the good Work, this is freaking Commedic Gold.
side thing to say: I like the idea of being drip fed powers with some changes of course, id change it so I had a sheet with everyones charms on them that I had given them, the second thing id change is that id let players *pick* what charm they wanted for their character, and the third would be id make sure every PC had the same amount of them at any one time, even chasing that guy who didnt have time for the mini campaigns and just saying he did them and letting him pick the charms real quick (whilst of course explaining what the options do).
I've had quite a few dnd games, as both a player and a gm. They've all ended badly, really badly in some cases. My fiancee and i reminisce about the dumpster fires we went through. It always felt like it was the other people at the table but after that many failures it might be me. I gave up tabletop games two years ago, I feel a lot more at peace now, but hearing the horror stories always makes me feel a little nostalgic.
The sunk cost fallacy mate - it's quite a crazy thing. Not to mention social ties.
You want the game to get better, and the GM to improve, somehow. Because you already sunk time into this, you're friends with everyone there, and you want to have a good time with them - and not to mention DnD can be hard to come across in general.
Your brain can always convince you that it can get better - especially because that's usually what people wish for.