Omg. Now I get what none of the people in my life who used substances could connect with me. Phew. Grew up and believed it was me! Being away from people with addiction for a couple of weeks has changed my life.
I wish everyone at my church would listen to this. Sometimes when you don't have an addiction problem it's easy to forget that physical, spiritual and emotional are all connected. Thanks for your hard work.
I’m very impressed by the vastness of your knowledge. My wife is severely addicted to somas and we have two small children. It’s been so bad for years now that she’s dancing with death. I sincerely thank you for your effort of this matter. It has helped quite a bit.
@@PutTheShovelDown my son is in jail for 2 weeks now.. and idk what to do to get him off the methamphetamine. So glad I found your channel. Mothers and their sons ❤ are 1 strong bond Amen?
I am a lifetime food addict and have an eating disorder. I recently wrote a book regarding my challenges with food addiction and that has helped me immensely because it is no longer a secret. I have been abstinent for a year! Your comment about finding out the reason for the addiction made a lot of sense to me. I am still working on that. Thank you for the great information that you provide on your channel! Blessings; Kim Cain
10:22 spoke to me pretty hard. I'm 33 days sober today, but also single now. I had an amazing girlfriend yet I still felt lonely for some reason. Ironically now that she left me I really am alone now. I realize how much I took her for granted and how my mental health was just never in a good place from all the alcohol I was polluting it with. I feel like I was locked up in the trunk of my own car and some other guy was driving around with my life while I was drinking. It feels good to be in the driver seat again, but man I miss that girl so much now. I know we would still have a good thing if I had found sobriety sooner, but I also know that the pain of losing her was a really big wake up call for me to get my life together. I may never have ended up here if I didn't feel that pain. The irony...
@@PutTheShovelDown Thank you so much for your videos bte. I've been doing therapy and also watching your own videos during my free time. It feels like a bonus or like I'm doing double therapy 😅
Hi doll.Its always amazing to me to watch your videos bc EVERYTHING u say in EVERY one of your videos is ALWAYS the EXACT thing that I think would be the answer to the subject u are discussing.U are very logical in your thinking processes,while I always have been,too, yet SO MANY PPL ARE NOT!! I've always asked ppl who have fallen back into addiction after several months or yrs of being sober if they ever worked on the original CAUSE of not only their addiction, but the reason they even STARTED taking a certain substance in the first place.Most ppl say they never really worked on the original reason they began using a certain substance in the first place!! It seems like a no brainier (no pun intended), for someone to FIRST be counseled on the ORIGINAL reason they began using, yet it seems like so many programs ONLY focus on getting someone to stop using a substance, vs the REASONS why they began the substance.Its also VERY IMPORTANT to understand that anytime someone is addicted to Anything, regardless of whether it's a drug, alcohol, food, or gambling, there is usually a brain chemical imbalances that makes a person crave a certain substance.. especially low serotonin levels and high cortisol levels..so, if an addict can have those low brain chemicals addressed, it would GREATLY help someone to overcome their addiction while also working on their EMOTIONAL stress levels, their nutrition, (bc nutritional deficiencies can also cause lack of clear thinking and cravings for sugar, chocolate & even cause pain problems in the body, causing someone to turn to drugs for pain relief).I have to watch your video now!!
Hi Kimberly, we're on the same page for sure. I love that you added in nutrition, and stress levels! The only thing I would as is this... You do have to stop using the substance first. Working on the problems while still using won't work, because you can't get to the real issue. For example: lot's of times people think, if they work on the depression the addiction will go away, but you've got to stop using first then quickly or simultaneously work on the other stuff.
My partner of 25 year has been drugging & drinking since age 13. He stopped 2 years ago. He had childhood traumas from both abusive mother & father. When he stopped self medicating he became angry & abusive toward as I was his new caretaker. I had to have him leave the household out of fear. He also began developing other personalities. He has been in AA which he enjoys as they do not get personally involved but he quit counselling because he does not want to address his childhood trauma. I believe this is the only way he will get better. Getting to the root of the problem.
I'm going to go clean my room lol it seems to be the one place I put off last .Its crazy how not being the addict and just trying to deal with all off it can make you become like depressed " PARALIZED, anxiety , just all the things the addict looks like they feeling . But this makes me understand why I have to force mt self to live a normal life so they have a place to want to be and fall back into family life . I guess something for them to look forward to if and when they want it . But it's hard as a single mom .but if I'm asking them to do things then I have to keep pushing myself also !
@@PutTheShovelDown well if you seen me you would think I've been dragged behind a truck or something lol Everybody says I look really tired or I'm too skinny or man you work all the time and I just put on this big smile and say ya I've been really busy . And it is dang hard work trying to act like I'm ok everything going to be ok GEEZZZ! MY INSIDES ARE SCREAMING .so I just lough a little then cry a little and ya stay as busy as possible . And try to be normal LMBO!
@@jodypixley6683 in that case, I think a little self care is in order. Whatever would make you feel better? A day of sleeping in? Getting your hair done? A new piece of clothing? You need something to make you feel good about you!
My nephew who has been 9 months sober slipped recently. I didn’t kick him out but instead asked him what steps he thoughts we (he) should take to get back on track. He is in denial about what he can control and he was honest about wanting to numb the emotions he recently felt due to a break up and a friend he no longer trusts. What should I look out for and how long should I wait for him before I realize he may not move forward with sobering up again? I like your craft method and I’m highly interested in learning more. Thank you for your videos.
Hi Amber, Too bad I missed you live on this one. Fantastic Amber, you are the sweetest and the professionally Fantabulous! I agree with you for sure. As I see it..the ego is the issue of a dry alcoholic- not recovering, in which of course is the same if not way worse than the wet alcoholics Behavior. Words and Actions that matches is the key. Integrity. As I see it from an outsider..I think in these addictions one looses all perspective on one's own self values and integrity. A fantasy, an illusion of sorts of Self. The behavior pattern is upside down, inside out, it makes no logical sense in any way shape or form and there is certainly no method at all to the madness. I am not sure though this is what it looks like. Self-Actualization and Realization, in other words Recognize this in Self and get Help! As well as the chemical inbalance yes needs the support. And to top it off, the underlying Trauma that started it all in the first place Must must be addressed in every way. The issue is in the person/addict's REFUSAL to see and hear this. Addiction is a huge picture of multiple facets. Each individual facet needs the proper attention as a Whole. This is what I see hear and feel from my perspective. Am I correct in my thinking process Amber? Just love your help!💜💖💞
This video explains my spouse and really touches my heart. He has no idea how people see him.... or... maybe he does and that is the source of his pain... then he covers it with alcohol which then creates a vicious circle! A current consequence is his reoccurring gout. He says food caused it. Hmmm not!
Ok did I just have a lightbulb go off??? So i remember when my husband’s emotional affair came out I remember telling him I just wanted him to be proud of me. This was probably a month or so after. During this time and for probably a year prior I had been drinking heavily.
So I’m wondering - someone who is struggling with addiction that has overridden their body’s ability to provide serotonin and dopamine with the higher level of satisfaction that they get from drinking, how do they get that turned around and start finding their body’s natural levels to be satisfactory again?
My boyfriend of 8 yrs is addicted to cocaine. He lives with his sister who is also addicted. Within the past year he has broke up with me to pursue another girl who is also addicted to cocaine and heroin. But when they have a falling out or just anytime he feels like it, he reaches out to me for emotional support. How should I respond? Should I keep responding positively to him or let him crash and burn?
I try to call or talk to my addicted loved ones before 4 or 5 o’clock (before they start drinking). They are nicer then, and can remember what I say to them. Such different personalities. Hard for me to stick around when they have started drinking
I got a question? I have a friend I have not seen in years. She called out of the blue to come visit for several days. However, she in jail for two DUIs within a month. Turns out she been on the run from other states. She has nowhere else to go? Should I let her come back? Once, out of jail? I don’t think I have time nor the resources to help her. I didn’t want her to be homeless. Her family has shunned her.
Yikes, that's a tough one. If her own family has shunned her there is probably a good reason. I think the answer depends on if you have young kids in your house. Will she be drinking or causing chaos, etc...
@@PutTheShovelDown she will continue to drink. I believe so, but I took a deeper look into her history. Its seems that she was dealt a bad hand. Such, that from her divorce. Her ex-husband took her little baby robbed her dry and leached off of her income and her retirement as well. Her family are drinkers' too all of them, IRISH LADS WHO ALSO GOT DUI's ! However, she been rich and has fallen on bad time --quote dealt a bad hand. I don't know what to do. That's a Hollywood story! I can see why she drinks. Sometimes, only compassion can understand.
Hi Amber, thank you for imparting valuable knowledge on addiction. I have a friend asking me to check on his son 35 Yr old son who relapsed.... I called him and sent him a message, but he's not responding... I'm in recovery, and he initially communicated with me and had allowed me in to share his struggle. It's been 3 days and I'm giving him the space, but I wish I could do more.... he's physically in a different country, so I can't simply pop in..... Should I call him again or simply wait?
I would prob wait a bit (week or two) before you reach out again. When you do, make it casual so the person doesn't feel defensive. They prob feel guilty for not responding to you, which might make them avoid you even more.
BTW, I'm in Kenya and run a rehab, and your videos are quite helpful. I got sober in Orange County, California, and moved to a rural town, Naivasha, Kenya. I love it💗
I've got a question, sometimes you drink you do it because you are happy... like you've did something that made you feel good (so basically you got your serotonin), but you still want to drink...
Oh I totally understand that. What I think is that it has to do with wanting more. You want to feel even more "happier". It's all about learning to be okay with life's natural highs and being content with that. I find when you do get a natural high, or general wellbeing mood lift, it can trigger that "I want more" side but conversely it does make it easier to not given in as well. Though I will admit it does take some practice at first to just be okay with the natural highs so that you don't give in. Goodluck out there and godspeed!
@Amber…So with my husband, hes had this issue since he split with his first wife when he was 23ish. He told me he’s been in a downhill spiral ever since. He also has alcoholism in his family. Hes almost 60 now and wont take ownership of his addiction. What do you do in that situation?
Amber, my son has been a heroin addict for 4 years now, and he's been in and out of recovery many times now. I validate him when he's using, but he takes advantage of my validation and begins to manipulate me again. How do I protect myself and stand my ground in a healthy way?
Why would a longtime recovering/sober addict not be able to touch in a warm intimate way? Like they can receive touch and they like it but said that they can’t give it. It starves the partner of oxytocin?
My partner plans to start his sobriety when he gets sent to Basic Training for the Army. He drinks like a 6 pack a night, sometimes more, and thinks it's not very much. But he hasn't worked for almost a year and I have no money to move out. I'm wondering if it's necessary for me to couch surf until I can afford a new place for myself, or if I should stay at home and put up with the manipulation and verbal abuse, making him think I'm okay with it?
Hello Amber, my daughter has been from alcohol for 17 years, but has been over using Adderall and Xanax for a while, she gets extremely agitated and horrible verbal spewing, she swears she isn't taking anything...she is also trained in the clinical mental health field so it is very hard to know how to approach her...help
Root cause of all human generated misery on the planet comes directly from the monopolization over the economy and the monetary unit. We have had Monopoly over the world economy and monetary unit going back since the Sumerians over 4,000 years oh, and persis till this very day. The fact that the misery index is determined by the unemployment rate and rate of inflation doesn't take away the fact that these two components are deeply embedded in the root cause being the Monopoly over economy and monetary system. Monopoly over the world economy and monetary system is the true root cause of all human generated social problems. I'm afraid that no degree or doctorate is ever going to Laura is very important aspect of our reality.
I feel like I detach from my surroundings and find myself in a place where i end up using to come back down or self harming to being myself back and wonder if maybe the issues with bonding and forming meaningful attachments could be causing me to fall back into those habits those bad habits. Why the self destruct? I've had a social worker in a rehab tell me I'm comfortable in crisis. Any feedback would greatly be appreciated. I've been in therapy since I was old enough to seek it for myself and thanks to people like you I'm getting somewhere but I definitely want to understandmore. .
Hi Amber, I'm learning to be a better "emotional container" to get ready for my future partner. That means sitting with the tension longer for example when I ask what's wrong. However, when I do this, I feel like a therapist and I feel drained. I'm a child of abuse/neglect, so how do I be there for someone, have healthy boundaries for myself, and build connections without getting drained? It'd be easier for me to not go there, but at the same time, these relationships don't last past the 8 months of limerence because I don't have the deeper connection. In the past, people behaving like narcs (notice I didn't diagnose anyone but labeled the behavior) would abuse my insight/time/energy, drain me, and not change. Thanks!
I quit using drugs when I got engaged to a woman I really wasn't looking for but fell in love basically with her two kids I loved she lied and cheated on me and took them away hard to trust a woman again
My son was in rehab for 90 days for meth addiction and alcohol. Been home 4 days today he is already looking for reasons to get angry. Im starting to feel maybe this was a mistake letting him come here. Also he wants no individual therapy only comfortable with groups.
@@PutTheShovelDown No he has not done sober living just rehab. Yesterday he went out with a friend and came home Sober. I was absolutely impressed he had the strength to do so. He already has said if he has a relapse and uses he will return to rehab. Also on friday last week the Outpatient therapist rescheduled his appt to this tues. So im am thinking if he must go back to rehab that sober living may be something for his benefit. Also on friday he was not in good mood things were not turning out for him. The therapist rescheduled so later he went running something they were doing in rehab. He came home in better mood he has that as a coping method the jogging.
I am going to watch this video again and again. It is absolutely THE most informative half hour of ever in my experience of learning about addiction. My son was jailed yesterday for attacking a known pedophile who was watching little kids in the parking lot of a trampoline park. Earlier in the day, he and I had spoken in depth about some of his core issues. I want so badly to relay some of this information during our phone calls and letters. Just need to really zone in on his specific situation. Especially sober living arrangement. DOC meth/alcohol. So empowering! Thank you! 🌹
i feel like i m gonna go crazy what is his problem lazy want to sleep all the time irrating personality angry for no reasons ego i think he does not want to be with me anymore
@g m I just wanted offer support and say you’re not alone,this lockdown is tough. Don’t give up. I recently found this channel and was made really welcome in chat. I’m an addict btw. Prayers to you🙏🏼❤️
My spouse has a root to his addiction. It is way back in his history in situations that his brother's and parents did to him. He won't face it. It's too embaracing or scary. I don't know what exactly but he is stuck. He is 43 years old. Real late.
hi amber my husbands on ost treatment and now he is so lazy he does not want to find a job and start working as he know i m facing so many problem financialy
@@wanmarwein6499 oh I see, you’re talking about medication assisted treatment. Here’s some videos on that: ruclips.net/p/PLaaJWwIpP_zZHOOJUIT_4OmZQ2NbVx9ji
Coping lol, yesss look at it like using it as mental health management. But going to a dealer is like buying mental health meds from a shop like a pack of cigarettes
Like a band aid, cuz underneath there's years of trauma you've never dealt with, abuse, death, anxiety, rage, grief. Feeling lost. All under the surface, drugs just lets you keep going, sometimes underneath there's fucking tornado waiting g to explode
Can any one tell me if this is common and if it will sort itself out please...my son who's 21 relapsed and went on a 4 mth crazy episode where he literally destroyed his life in all areas and was so high on drugs like cocaine and cannabis he went very delusional and paranoid like drug induced psychosis really badly. He woukdnt accept help from the mental health team but eventually agreed to go and live in a Christian rehabilitation place where you cant take anything at all not even smoke cigarettes or anything, hes only been there 3.5 weeks now and had stopped taking class As about 3 weeks before he went in so no class A drugs for just over 6 weeks and completely clean for 3.5 weeks. When we've spoke to him on the phone its all positive apart from there still seems to be some delusion / paranoia. Hes saying people from his past are living there too at the rehabilitation place but this is not true and hes normally very truthful. My question is can people still have some delusion and paranoia even after 6 weeks of being clean?
Don’t you think maybe someone who has been a functional alcoholic for 50 or more years....has perhaps long forgotten reasons or emotions for addiction, even on a subconscious level? I wonder if one can just plain create a life time habit or lifestyle with reasons may be long gone? Then as you say... brain chemistry is then altered and no actual reasons for drinking are necessary.
Yes, that can definitely happen. Also someone can drink long enough that they develop an addiction, even if there wasn't any real underlying issues to begin with. However, people will develop underlying issues over the years of drinking and using. Basically, it means..... if they weren't depressed, anxious, etc ... before hand, they will be after years of abusing substances!
Yeah she can't do it for you. She can give the tools and methods but you, or whoever, has to use them. She's not you. There's no miracle cure for this. It's hardwork. Sorry for the reality check.
I'm so glad I found Amber Hollingsworth! I can't stop listening to all of these videos. So many light bulb moments
Awwwww, thanks Kristal! You've made my day 😁😊🥰
I feel the same. This is an AMAZINGLY and immediately helpful and useful channel.
Omg. Now I get what none of the people in my life who used substances could connect with me. Phew. Grew up and believed it was me! Being away from people with addiction for a couple of weeks has changed my life.
I totally agree
I wish everyone at my church would listen to this. Sometimes when you don't have an addiction problem it's easy to forget that physical, spiritual and emotional are all connected. Thanks for your hard work.
My pleasure, Teri! I’m so glad it was helpful ❤️
"The question is not 'why the addiction?', but 'why the pain?'"(Dr. Gabor Maté)
I'm also a fan of Dr. Gabor Mate!
I’m very impressed by the vastness of your knowledge. My wife is severely addicted to somas and we have two small children. It’s been so bad for years now that she’s dancing with death. I sincerely thank you for your effort of this matter. It has helped quite a bit.
Hi 777, I'm so sorry you're going through this but I'm glad you're finding some comfort in these videos.
I’m glad I found your channel when I did. My son is 25 and in a six month program, three weeks into it. I find your videos very helpful.
That's perfect timing Teekay. Now you're both working on recovery at the same time.
@@PutTheShovelDown my son is in jail for 2 weeks now.. and idk what to do to get him off the methamphetamine. So glad I found your channel. Mothers and their sons ❤ are 1 strong bond Amen?
I am a lifetime food addict and have an eating disorder. I recently wrote a book regarding my challenges with food addiction and that has helped me immensely because it is no longer a secret. I have been abstinent for a year! Your comment about finding out the reason for the addiction made a lot of sense to me. I am still working on that. Thank you for the great information that you provide on your channel!
Blessings; Kim Cain
Congrats on your recovery and on your book! I love a story with a good ending
10:22 spoke to me pretty hard. I'm 33 days sober today, but also single now. I had an amazing girlfriend yet I still felt lonely for some reason. Ironically now that she left me I really am alone now. I realize how much I took her for granted and how my mental health was just never in a good place from all the alcohol I was polluting it with. I feel like I was locked up in the trunk of my own car and some other guy was driving around with my life while I was drinking. It feels good to be in the driver seat again, but man I miss that girl so much now. I know we would still have a good thing if I had found sobriety sooner, but I also know that the pain of losing her was a really big wake up call for me to get my life together. I may never have ended up here if I didn't feel that pain. The irony...
Wow, Sameehul! That metaphore about being locked in the trunk is very powerful!
@@PutTheShovelDown Thank you so much for your videos bte. I've been doing therapy and also watching your own videos during my free time. It feels like a bonus or like I'm doing double therapy 😅
@@sammyhuda2062 same. This channel is seriously useful therapy.
I've recently found your channel - it's a wonderful source of advice. Thankyou for the work you have done.
Glad you enjoy it, Mike!
Get educated is so important and extremely helpful
👍
Amber, I really appreciate your comments FOR the addicted person. Thank you!
Hi doll.Its always amazing to me to watch your videos bc EVERYTHING u say in EVERY one of your videos is ALWAYS the EXACT thing that I think would be the answer to the subject u are discussing.U are very logical in your thinking processes,while I always have been,too, yet SO MANY PPL ARE NOT!! I've always asked ppl who have fallen back into addiction after several months or yrs of being sober if they ever worked on the original CAUSE of not only their addiction, but the reason they even STARTED taking a certain substance in the first place.Most ppl say they never really worked on the original reason they began using a certain substance in the first place!! It seems like a no brainier (no pun intended), for someone to FIRST be counseled on the ORIGINAL reason they began using, yet it seems like so many programs ONLY focus on getting someone to stop using a substance, vs the REASONS why they began the substance.Its also VERY IMPORTANT to understand that anytime someone is addicted to Anything, regardless of whether it's a drug, alcohol, food, or gambling, there is usually a brain chemical imbalances that makes a person crave a certain substance.. especially low serotonin levels and high cortisol levels..so, if an addict can have those low brain chemicals addressed, it would GREATLY help someone to overcome their addiction while also working on their EMOTIONAL stress levels, their nutrition, (bc nutritional deficiencies can also cause lack of clear thinking and cravings for sugar, chocolate & even cause pain problems in the body, causing someone to turn to drugs for pain relief).I have to watch your video now!!
Hi Kimberly, we're on the same page for sure. I love that you added in nutrition, and stress levels! The only thing I would as is this... You do have to stop using the substance first. Working on the problems while still using won't work, because you can't get to the real issue. For example: lot's of times people think, if they work on the depression the addiction will go away, but you've got to stop using first then quickly or simultaneously work on the other stuff.
Your channel is so informative, Amber! I understand addiction and substance use in such a different way now!
Yay! That makes it all worth it. Thanks vive libre!
My partner of 25 year has been drugging & drinking since age 13. He stopped 2 years ago. He had childhood traumas from both abusive mother & father. When he stopped self medicating he became angry & abusive toward as I was his new caretaker. I had to have him leave the household out of fear. He also began developing other personalities. He has been in AA which he enjoys as they do not get personally involved but he quit counselling because he does not want to address his childhood trauma. I believe this is the only way he will get better. Getting to the root of the problem.
Beautifully explained. Thank you!
Subscribed ! Really great channel. Big up from Belgium !
Hello and welcome to my new Belgium friend! So glad you're here. Looking forward to hearing more from you. 😊
This is an AMAZINGLY and immediately helpful and useful channel. Thanks so much for doing it, Amber.
Awwwwww, thanks Tina! I needed that 😁
Amber you hit the nail on the head!!!
Thanks Kathy! 😁
Thank you so much. I have learned so much from you.
Glad to help!
I'm going to go clean my room lol it seems to be the one place I put off last .Its crazy how not being the addict and just trying to deal with all off it can make you become like depressed " PARALIZED, anxiety , just all the things the addict looks like they feeling . But this makes me understand why I have to force mt self to live a normal life so they have a place to want to be and fall back into family life . I guess something for them to look forward to if and when they want it . But it's hard as a single mom .but if I'm asking them to do things then I have to keep pushing myself also !
I love your sense of personal accountability! It's impressive
@@PutTheShovelDown well if you seen me you would think I've been dragged behind a truck or something lol Everybody says I look really tired or I'm too skinny or man you work all the time and I just put on this big smile and say ya I've been really busy . And it is dang hard work trying to act like I'm ok everything going to be ok GEEZZZ! MY INSIDES ARE SCREAMING .so I just lough a little then cry a little and ya stay as busy as possible . And try to be normal LMBO!
@@jodypixley6683 in that case, I think a little self care is in order. Whatever would make you feel better? A day of sleeping in? Getting your hair done? A new piece of clothing? You need something to make you feel good about you!
My nephew who has been 9 months sober slipped recently. I didn’t kick him out but instead asked him what steps he thoughts we (he) should take to get back on track. He is in denial about what he can control and he was honest about wanting to numb the emotions he recently felt due to a break up and a friend he no longer trusts. What should I look out for and how long should I wait for him before I realize he may not move forward with sobering up again?
I like your craft method and I’m highly interested in learning more.
Thank you for your videos.
Hi Gabriela, Here's a video about relapse that might be helpful to you!
Thanks for helping me i love you keep up the good work
My pleasure, Paul!
Hi Amber,
Too bad I missed you live on this one.
Fantastic Amber, you are the sweetest and the professionally Fantabulous!
I agree with you for sure.
As I see it..the ego is the issue of a dry alcoholic- not recovering, in which of course is the same if not way worse than the wet alcoholics Behavior.
Words and Actions that matches is the key. Integrity. As I see it from an outsider..I think in these addictions one looses all perspective on one's own self values and integrity. A fantasy, an illusion of sorts of Self. The behavior pattern is upside down, inside out, it makes no logical sense in any way shape or form and there is certainly no method at all to the madness. I am not sure though this is what it looks like. Self-Actualization and Realization, in other words Recognize this in Self and get Help! As well as the chemical inbalance yes needs the support. And to top it off, the underlying Trauma that started it all in the first place Must must be addressed in every way. The issue is in the person/addict's REFUSAL to see and hear this. Addiction is a huge picture of multiple facets. Each individual facet needs the proper attention as a Whole.
This is what I see hear and feel from my perspective.
Am I correct in my thinking process Amber?
Just love your help!💜💖💞
You are 100% correct! We're on the exact same page on this one!
@@PutTheShovelDown Thank-you so much Amber. You are the best!😊💞👍👍
This video explains my spouse and really touches my heart. He has no idea how people see him.... or... maybe he does and that is the source of his pain... then he covers it with alcohol which then creates a vicious circle! A current consequence is his reoccurring gout. He says food caused it. Hmmm not!
Tart Cherry Juice
Watching the replay! 🙌
Hope you enjoyed it!
I love your voice
Thanks Keaqa 😁 Are you from the south?
Can the lack of oxytocin maybe cause depersonalization or derealization? I'm very interested in this theory.
Ok did I just have a lightbulb go off??? So i remember when my husband’s emotional affair came out I remember telling him I just wanted him to be proud of me. This was probably a month or so after. During this time and for probably a year prior I had been drinking heavily.
My friend took his own life and u thank it's ok if I went by myself and cryed
😨Addiction is not a disease, and here's why 👉 ruclips.net/video/FUm3uxCz2GQ/видео.html
So I’m wondering - someone who is struggling with addiction that has overridden their body’s ability to provide serotonin and dopamine with the higher level of satisfaction that they get from drinking, how do they get that turned around and start finding their body’s natural levels to be satisfactory again?
Once the person stopped using, their dopamine and serotonin levels start returning to normal
@@PutTheShovelDown SLOWLY
My boyfriend of 8 yrs is addicted to cocaine. He lives with his sister who is also addicted. Within the past year he has broke up with me to pursue another girl who is also addicted to cocaine and heroin. But when they have a falling out or just anytime he feels like it, he reaches out to me for emotional support. How should I respond? Should I keep responding positively to him or let him crash and burn?
I try to call or talk to my addicted loved ones before 4 or 5 o’clock (before they start drinking). They are nicer then, and can remember what I say to them. Such different personalities. Hard for me to stick around when they have started drinking
That's a good healthy boundary, Kathy!
I got a question? I have a friend I have not seen in years. She called out of the blue to come visit for several days. However, she in jail for two DUIs within a month. Turns out she been on the run from other states. She has nowhere else to go? Should I let her come back? Once, out of jail? I don’t think I have time nor the resources to help her. I didn’t want her to be homeless. Her family has shunned her.
Yikes, that's a tough one. If her own family has shunned her there is probably a good reason. I think the answer depends on if you have young kids in your house. Will she be drinking or causing chaos, etc...
@@PutTheShovelDown she will continue to drink. I believe so, but I took a deeper look into her history. Its seems that she was dealt a bad hand. Such, that from her divorce. Her ex-husband took her little baby robbed her dry and leached off of her income and her retirement as well. Her family are drinkers' too all of them, IRISH LADS WHO ALSO GOT DUI's ! However, she been rich and has fallen on bad time --quote dealt a bad hand. I don't know what to do. That's a Hollywood story! I can see why she drinks. Sometimes, only compassion can understand.
Hi Amber, thank you for imparting valuable knowledge on addiction. I have a friend asking me to check on his son 35 Yr old son who relapsed.... I called him and sent him a message, but he's not responding... I'm in recovery, and he initially communicated with me and had allowed me in to share his struggle. It's been 3 days and I'm giving him the space, but I wish I could do more.... he's physically in a different country, so I can't simply pop in.....
Should I call him again or simply wait?
I would prob wait a bit (week or two) before you reach out again. When you do, make it casual so the person doesn't feel defensive. They prob feel guilty for not responding to you, which might make them avoid you even more.
@@PutTheShovelDown Thanks so much!
I appreciate it 🙏🏼
BTW, I'm in Kenya and run a rehab, and your videos are quite helpful.
I got sober in Orange County, California, and moved to a rural town, Naivasha, Kenya. I love it💗
I've got a question, sometimes you drink you do it because you are happy... like you've did something that made you feel good (so basically you got your serotonin), but you still want to drink...
Oh I totally understand that. What I think is that it has to do with wanting more. You want to feel even more "happier". It's all about learning to be okay with life's natural highs and being content with that.
I find when you do get a natural high, or general wellbeing mood lift, it can trigger that "I want more" side but conversely it does make it easier to not given in as well. Though I will admit it does take some practice at first to just be okay with the natural highs so that you don't give in. Goodluck out there and godspeed!
@Amber…So with my husband, hes had this issue since he split with his first wife when he was 23ish. He told me he’s been in a downhill spiral ever since. He also has alcoholism in his family. Hes almost 60 now and wont take ownership of his addiction. What do you do in that situation?
More Campbell videos pleeeeeeeeeeze💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕
Amber, my son has been a heroin addict for 4 years now, and he's been in and out of recovery many times now. I validate him when he's using, but he takes advantage of my validation and begins to manipulate me again. How do I protect myself and stand my ground in a healthy way?
Hi Carla, This is my playlist on manipulation. Thought it might help. ruclips.net/video/5kDczK92fdE/видео.html
My wife has said she has stopped drinking, by herself. But I am unsure because when we were together she could not do one day without drink.
Why would a longtime recovering/sober addict not be able to touch in a warm intimate way? Like they can receive touch and they like it but said that they can’t give it. It starves the partner of oxytocin?
My partner plans to start his sobriety when he gets sent to Basic Training for the Army. He drinks like a 6 pack a night, sometimes more, and thinks it's not very much. But he hasn't worked for almost a year and I have no money to move out. I'm wondering if it's necessary for me to couch surf until I can afford a new place for myself, or if I should stay at home and put up with the manipulation and verbal abuse, making him think I'm okay with it?
Hello Amber, my daughter has been from alcohol for 17 years, but has been over using Adderall and Xanax for a while, she gets extremely agitated and horrible verbal spewing, she swears she isn't taking anything...she is also trained in the clinical mental health field so it is very hard to know how to approach her...help
Replay I understand but I'm so confused.
Root cause of all human generated misery on the planet comes directly from the monopolization over the economy and the monetary unit. We have had Monopoly over the world economy and monetary unit going back since the Sumerians over 4,000 years oh, and persis till this very day. The fact that the misery index is determined by the unemployment rate and rate of inflation doesn't take away the fact that these two components are deeply embedded in the root cause being the Monopoly over economy and monetary system. Monopoly over the world economy and monetary system is the true root cause of all human generated social problems. I'm afraid that no degree or doctorate is ever going to Laura is very important aspect of our reality.
I agree, but we can still try to create our own “tribes”.
I feel like I detach from my surroundings and find myself in a place where i end up using to come back down or self harming to being myself back and wonder if maybe the issues with bonding and forming meaningful attachments could be causing me to fall back into those habits those bad habits. Why the self destruct? I've had a social worker in a rehab tell me I'm comfortable in crisis. Any feedback would greatly be appreciated. I've been in therapy since I was old enough to seek it for myself and thanks to people like you I'm getting somewhere but I definitely want to understandmore. .
Hi Amber, I'm learning to be a better "emotional container" to get ready for my future partner. That means sitting with the tension longer for example when I ask what's wrong. However, when I do this, I feel like a therapist and I feel drained. I'm a child of abuse/neglect, so how do I be there for someone, have healthy boundaries for myself, and build connections without getting drained? It'd be easier for me to not go there, but at the same time, these relationships don't last past the 8 months of limerence because I don't have the deeper connection. In the past, people behaving like narcs (notice I didn't diagnose anyone but labeled the behavior) would abuse my insight/time/energy, drain me, and not change. Thanks!
I quit using drugs when I got engaged to a woman I really wasn't looking for but fell in love basically with her two kids I loved she lied and cheated on me and took them away hard to trust a woman again
My son was in rehab for 90 days for meth addiction and alcohol. Been home 4 days today he is already looking for reasons to get angry. Im starting to feel maybe this was a mistake letting him come here. Also he wants no individual therapy only comfortable with groups.
Hi Marie, did he do any kind of sober living program? Going from treatment to home is a difficult transition.
@@PutTheShovelDown No he has not done sober living just rehab. Yesterday he went out with a friend and came home Sober.
I was absolutely impressed he had the strength to do so. He already has said if he has a relapse and uses he will return to rehab. Also on friday last week the Outpatient therapist rescheduled his appt to this tues. So im am thinking if he must go back to rehab that sober living may be something for his benefit. Also on friday he was not in good mood things were not turning out for him. The therapist rescheduled so later he went running something they were doing in rehab. He came home in better mood he has that as a coping method the jogging.
How to find the best in patient drug rehab?
Hi Wanda, you can use this link to download our Treatment options guide: www.familyrecoveryacademy.online/motivational-interviewing-session-1
I am going to watch this video again and again. It is absolutely THE most informative half hour of ever in my experience of learning about addiction. My son was jailed yesterday for attacking a known pedophile who was watching little kids in the parking lot of a trampoline park. Earlier in the day, he and I had spoken in depth about some of his core issues. I want so badly to relay some of this information during our phone calls and letters. Just need to really zone in on his specific situation. Especially sober living arrangement. DOC meth/alcohol.
So empowering! Thank you! 🌹
i feel like i m gonna go crazy what is his problem lazy want to sleep all the time irrating personality angry for no reasons ego i think he does not want to be with me anymore
@g m I just wanted offer support and say you’re not alone,this lockdown is tough. Don’t give up. I recently found this channel and was made really welcome in chat. I’m an addict btw. Prayers to you🙏🏼❤️
Why do you want to be with him?
No knows I cryed I like being left alone
My spouse has a root to his addiction. It is way back in his history in situations that his brother's and parents did to him.
He won't face it. It's too embaracing or scary. I don't know what exactly but he is stuck. He is 43 years old. Real late.
hi amber my husbands on ost treatment and now he is so lazy he does not want to find a job and start working as he know i m facing so many problem financialy
Hey Wan. What's ost treatment?
i think its a treatment given to herion addicted person a medicine name bruphine or something
the medicine is called ost which stands for Overcoming Subtances Treatment
can you explain to me will this treatment work
@@wanmarwein6499 oh I see, you’re talking about medication assisted treatment. Here’s some videos on that: ruclips.net/p/PLaaJWwIpP_zZHOOJUIT_4OmZQ2NbVx9ji
Can someone stop addiction by herself
That's a great question, Amarachi! I'm going to put that on my topic list!
Jeez you hit some deep nerves you do
Is that a good thing or a bad thing?
@@PutTheShovelDown it's good
Would you say addictions are coping mechanisms?
Coping lol, yesss look at it like using it as mental health management. But going to a dealer is like buying mental health meds from a shop like a pack of cigarettes
Like a band aid, cuz underneath there's years of trauma you've never dealt with, abuse, death, anxiety, rage, grief. Feeling lost. All under the surface, drugs just lets you keep going, sometimes underneath there's fucking tornado waiting g to explode
Absolutely!
Truth!
@@sufferingsuccatash3867 yeah you do feel like a slave digging away grinding being on it, just beats you down man
Can any one tell me if this is common and if it will sort itself out please...my son who's 21 relapsed and went on a 4 mth crazy episode where he literally destroyed his life in all areas and was so high on drugs like cocaine and cannabis he went very delusional and paranoid like drug induced psychosis really badly. He woukdnt accept help from the mental health team but eventually agreed to go and live in a Christian rehabilitation place where you cant take anything at all not even smoke cigarettes or anything, hes only been there 3.5 weeks now and had stopped taking class As about 3 weeks before he went in so no class A drugs for just over 6 weeks and completely clean for 3.5 weeks. When we've spoke to him on the phone its all positive apart from there still seems to be some delusion / paranoia. Hes saying people from his past are living there too at the rehabilitation place but this is not true and hes normally very truthful. My question is can people still have some delusion and paranoia even after 6 weeks of being clean?
Don’t you think maybe someone who has been a functional alcoholic for 50 or more years....has perhaps long forgotten reasons or emotions for addiction, even on a subconscious level? I wonder if one can just plain create a life time habit or lifestyle with reasons may be long gone? Then as you say... brain chemistry is then altered and no actual reasons for drinking are necessary.
Yes, that can definitely happen. Also someone can drink long enough that they develop an addiction, even if there wasn't any real underlying issues to begin with. However, people will develop underlying issues over the years of drinking and using. Basically, it means..... if they weren't depressed, anxious, etc ... before hand, they will be after years of abusing substances!
Someone has to pay you money to quit you can't just give it away like an a recovering addict does
serotonin? oxytocin? I don't have any of that, but what I do have is a cold beer.
I won't be listening to your drug recovery videos again.you promise to get people clean and sober and better their lives and u don't.
You have to take person responsiblity
Yeah she can't do it for you. She can give the tools and methods but you, or whoever, has to use them. She's not you. There's no miracle cure for this. It's hardwork. Sorry for the reality check.