Never will I ignore the red flags again. There were so many red flags from day one, but I chose to ignore them and trusted in him instead. I will trust my instincts, now and forever. Thank you Andrew
You are so right ! I saw the red flags too and kept thinking she would snap out of it and I just knew something wasn't right, but I kept ignoring all the flags . Never again will I dismiss those valuable red flags ! Time to move on !
@@aquamarin4294 The behaviour of a narcissist is weird. One doesn´t have to put a label like "NPD" on a person to be able to recognize that something is wrong with a person. I had a gut feeling that something was wrong from day one when I met my "Ex". I just couldn´t put a finger on it. So I watched him and his sometimes unusual behaviour closely as I would do with any person I just met. I didn´t know at the time that he was a narcissist but when you find out that someone is lying, cheating, has zero empathy, is afraid of emotional closeness, avoids kissing like the plague and hugs you like you´re a hot iron, uses different female first names when he talks to you, uses silence after tiny disagreements........you just know that something is very wrong! So after a couple of months I decided to leave. It is absolutely not necessary to know that a person is a narcissist to protect oneself. Any sane, emotionally healthy and intelligent person will leave a potential partner which behaves like the one I described. And who cares what the clinical name for this person´s behaviour is? You don´t need a label to uncover bad behaviour! So not knowing about narcissism/NPD is not really an excuse to stay in a relationship with a person who treats you like a doormat. It is rather the unability or unwillingness to acknowledge that evil people like narcissists exist!
We were smart to see it in the first place, I saw it, but I didn’t trust my instinct. I run with it now, some people don’t like it, that’s just too bad. 😉
Ignoring our instincts which are spot on causes anxiety, depression, fear, illness and more. So do the list and pull it out and read it whenever you doubt your instincts. Then don't go back beautiful ones.
You are beautiful Heather so right in your comment Yes those horrid mental causes not for my strength going deep to END wot I put Into them many years the Key is unblocked use tolerance 😀 endurance for ME TERMS OF Self awareness protection Happiest 😀 in being MYSELF
"Something just wasn't right" from day one, till the last day when I was discarded. Now I have made a promise to myself. Trust me, first, second, and third. Stay strong everyone and continue to believe in what your body, mind, and spirit is telling you. Blessings to you Andrew and everyone on this path of healing!
When you catch a narcissist in lie or sea of lies, they get angry, upset, sometimes violent and saying that you are falsely accusing them and dirtying their name, when they are upset you uncovered the truth. I was right!!
So true, as if those words are spoken wherever in the 🌎. Every time I caught her lying, I was made out to be the bad apple, quickly putting the spotlight on me that I'm at fault. So true.
The gut in medical biology has been proven to act as a second brain. Rather like our neurological cognitive abilities it is known the gut can receive and process information similarly to our brains. I have become very attuned with my gut since narc abuse, and I let my gut read a situation or conversation before I say a word. My gut reacts so quickly as to the validity or fakery of most situations these days, I actually feel it respond!! It's quite fascinating once you tune in, as it seems right every time!! I was never really aware of it before, maybe I'd get a vague feeling in my gut area and just dismiss it. I now realise it's your second brain telling you something!! It's a real asset!! 👍👍👍💜🇬🇧
The signs were subtle at first. The devaluing, shaming, silent treatment, constant criticism all became the top things I began looking on UTube educating myself. I knew there was definitely something wrong with someone that know matter what u do they r never satisfied yet do nothing or offer no solution or resolution to anything. I was able to leave 6 mos ago. FREEDOM! RED FLAGS!!!
Do not tell the next person why you left the narcissist and don’t tell them what they were. That is to much information especially if you are taking your time to know them which is a excellent idea Igor obvious reasons. Stay strong, kind and always remember you are worth a lot! 👍😘
I agree protect your heart because the next person you meet could be one you have to really study people like me this is what I've learnt it has changed me but for the better and it's good to be aware of people not just in relationships but in friendships or work anyone use caution I have a really nice friend now but our friendship happened so naturally so organic we laugh at each other we have deep conversations 😊 everything that a friendship should be never tell anyone new what you went through..
I needed to hear this! Three children and a stroke later I finally realized that he had narcissist written all over himself. We are still going through a custody battle but I'm starting to heal, both from the stroke and from him.
Many moments wondering 🤔 💭 😳 wtf was that? Why would anyone do that? Who does that? Why would anyone treat me like that? No one has ever treated me like that! ETC...love you guys and 💚💛😍💌 to Andrew. Goodnight.
I heard a quote about red flags: 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩 "When we are looking at the world thru rose-colored glasses all the red warning flags just look like flags." We are the eternal optimist. Literally slaves in bondage hoping for a day they will wake up and stop being abusive. It's not coming. We have to accept that. Hope just prolongs our suffering. We have limited time in this world. We are going to die. We are wasting our precious lives with these empty hollow entities that will NVR love us or even treat us with common decency. 😥
All the things Andrew says at the top is on us who get into these narcissistic relationships. We have to have some harsh heart to hearts with ourselves about not listening to ourselves thinking something’s not right, the red flags, the cognitive dissonance. The answers are all there if we stop, listen, and act like a parent who protects our inner child who didn’t learn how to protect themselves. Be that for your inner child. The quicker u stop and just listen and honor yourself first, the faster u will eliminate the loser who is trying to rope u in.
I got lost in her love bombing. Ending it and went thru therapy. Therapist showed to me, the red flags were there the very first day. Just didn't see it, I was love bombed and she did her homework before she met me.
You explain the issue so well, Andrew. Being around narcissists I always had the feeling that I could not trust them. Still, through their ongoing manipulative tricks they manage to get you to idealize them, until you learn more about narcissism.
One night we were having a "family dinner," meaning with our kids from other relationships because I thought we were trying to have a blended family. Anyhow, I had had a bad day for reasons the narc knew about. I asked him to be extra nice because I was already on the verge of tears (but I was still wanting to have this family moment and do my part to make it work). He straight up said no, because I hadn't asked him nice enough, so he wasn't going to be nice to me. 😳 ....that was one of the beginning of the end moments when I knew I had to get out.
Don't you get tired of the BS! "I was talking and you interrupted me." "You should have ask nicer." "I don't like you tone of voice!" "I don't like that blouse can you change it?"!
Andrew, I can’t thank you enough for this channel, you and the community of subscribers have literally saved my mental sanity. I also made a list, so glad I did. Problem was that I never trusted myself. But 2022 is the year I have decided to go with my gut.
Yep this is so true for me during a three-year relationship with a narcissist which I didn't know at the time my intuition my gut told me to leave him four times three times I returned to my detriment the last time I found out exactly what he was and what a relief it was to know what I have been dealing with because my intuition told me this is not a good thing and I was so seeped in it by the grace of God I got out.
I saw a lot of red flags at the beginning. I was played from the beginning about his sad messy life but how he got it all together. So I decided to take it slowly, although he told me he had fallen in love with me almost immediately. In the circumstances we met, he no doubt saw I was a loving person, cradling my cat who showed me great love always. I would tell him not to tell me he loved me because he did not know me enough. He told me one day I would believe him and learn to trust him - and once I said I loved and trusted him that is when it all started to become weird. Just little by little. But after the five years looking back I can see he actually had a game plan. I was just a convenient means to his end game. The real clincher was that towards the end I was quite ill. I was booked in for my very first ever surgery. I was scared but also couldn't have sex - so he created a fight and left two days before I had to go the hospital. I know now that it was no longer about him - so he was kinda bored. He couldn't have sex with me - and that for him was a large degree of his supply - he came back home the day before the operation. I had to do a prep pre-op and told him I would probably spend most of the night dealing with that - I gave him the choice to stay with me as support or not stay and he chose not to stay. The worst thing about this? I had forgotten about this - and it was my sister who reminded me (she had taken me to and from hospital) . I was of no use to him at all that night. KEEP A JOURNAL - because you forget a lot of things when you are busy being an empath. Thanks Andrew
I kept a journal just out of habit. I started noticing the pattern. You do forget things in the love bomb stage, but when I went back and read my entries….lightbulbs went off and that’s when I started my research. My Relationship was only three years but I consider it not three years wasted but three years of proper education on narcissism. Next time I’ll see them from a mile away and go the other direction
I had notes from 3 years ago, phone, notebook, emails, cards….ended this summer 2021. I’m still in amazement at the experience. more precisely the horror.
My experiences and instincts had me "googling" their behavior. I knew something was "off" but I couldn't put my finger on it. When multiple people can share the same negative experiences, you have to understand these are not isolated individual experiences but repeated "patterns". Cluster B personality disorders are very real- and even people with an opportunity to discover some hard truths, still don't want to accept them. Denial is extremely powerful. I've also learned people have to leave the Narcissist in their own way, and in their own timing... these are intense relationships regardless if its friend, family, romantic, or business related. "Cognitive Dissonance" is one of my favorite terms to learn- because you obtain a lot of it and you hear a lot of it from others. I remember being so confused or shocked by the Narcissist's behavior- whether it was something I experienced or something someone else experienced. Without the education you remain in the fog... and for those who are discarded and still don't learn what they are dealing with, remain very vulnerable.
As intelligent as I am, I believed every lie he told me. I justified his lies in my mind so I wouldn't upset him. I even took responsibility for everything he did wrong! I'm so glad it's over!
I marvel at these words by Andrew. I finally know what happened to me. Some days I listen and just sit for awhile in astonishment that this much is known about personality disorders and what happens in relationships. On some level, I knew. My instincts told me. Another part of me believed I was greatly inferior to others, especially the Narc and his family. I often asked myself, Why was I even born, if I can't function adequately as a human being." Now, I know. I am a good person with gifts and have a purpose. I can no longer be defined by what a Narc has manipulated me to believe.
Absolutely as I get older even more so and you can smell it instantly and even munipulater also you can hear it the moment they open their mouth! You will be surprised there are more narcissistic people around than you think and I don’t want to loose my integrity and compassion it’s inborn in me! You have so many followers cause you are so easy to understand and I like you strike me as down to earth guy
Thanks, Andrew! 💯 It is exactly as you say. I remember thinking to myself, “Is this a reason when you are supposed to drop the relationship? Maybe it’s is an idiosyncrasy. All of us have quirks.” To my own detriment, since I didn’t have a working knowledge of red flags I let it pass. I spent way too much time crying and not knowing and understanding what was behind it. There was an incredible amount of lying, hiding, and sneaking. He was so accomplished at it all. I have this to say: there are no free refills on trust, love, and respect. 🙏🏼🎶❤🎶🙏🏼
I looked for red flags I knew, but my Spidey Sense was tingling from the start! I didn’t know the more subtle clues, but now I know more! Thank you for teaching!
Yes, it is uncanny how much they are alike. Bizarre behaviors over time. Just as you say. I did write them down as a reference point. And thank God I did because it helped me during my healing journey to look back on all that.
We want to believe in the best, godliness and beauty of others. That's why we give them a benefit of a doubt again and again. We are all part of a greater whole...but it's up to us ourselves to take care of our own part of the whole.
The unhealthy moments add up, we feel weird & in our backpocket we make notes - one day you cannot ignore those red flags anymore & when you wake up & realize that they know exactly what they have been doing all along you have to be able to cope with that new found reality. We need to keep breathing, acknowledge our newfound education & honor our instincts, & definitely move on without them. Ty
Whooo!!! Mine had more red flags than a Chinese army!!! 5 long disgusting years and on her way out she told me how much I was losing and how special she is. Yuck!!!
I wrote my list AFTER realizing who i've been living with for the past 2 decades. Unfortunately, youtube and the internet didn't really exist 2+ decades ago at least not how available it is now. but like all of us, I wanted to make the relationship work and kept giving in, rationalizing, and making excuses. But I always had that spider sense that something was amiss, but believed that maybe just one more time, just a little bit more love, just a tad more patience, maybe it would work. and her intermittent reinforcement kept me hoping. damn. did it work? NO! wash, rinse, repeat. Not until 2018 did I research unsubstantiated anger did I finally realize, who I've been living with and all those really strange episodes of anger and UNLOVING behaviors - now made sense. thanks, andrew.
When we dare to stand up to them, they cannot stand that. Good, go for it! We have the courage, strength & right to do so. They are thiefs, cowards, disloyal liars. Who would have suspected that? Seriously they have nothing we need & we deserve so much better. We got to trust ourselves fully again. Courage! Ty
Yes, right from the Get Go I knew deep down this was not good news, but I guess my co dependent nature and my ego got the better of me. Lies and cruelty we're exposed to me, sometime against all the odds and still I stayed . So now 1 year after my near annihilation of discard. I am facing the harsh reality of the folie a deux I was in. Day 13 of my first "clean" Year for 20 years. Thank you Andrew for the lifeline of your daily wisdom. You, and all on this channel help, educate and support me more than you can imagine. Namaste
True 🙏 What is important is to learn to listen to your own intuition 🙏 One's own intuition will always warn you 👍 What we all need is to learn to listen and go with what our intuition tells us 🙏 Love and light for all 🙏🙏 ❤️🙏🙏
I would type notes (like a diary) and email them to myself, then put them in a folder under his name. It came in handy to make sense of things - what was really happening on a certain day during my relationship (after I was discarded and found out about the betrayals / new supply). My instincts were correct (they normally are). I had knowledge about narcs and stood my ground, but my ex was a covert narcissist - he was *really* good at creating excuses and "future faking" to make me believe xyz. And I did. 😡
I had no words to describe the hideousness of what happened to me during a 5- year marriage, age 25 to 30, til about 3 years ago. I am 60 this month. Now I know this is what it was --extreme malignant narcissistic abuse … though I think there was much more even than that going on. I left at 75 lbs soaking wet with sores from bones protruding and being badgered over and over whether I wanted to be cremated or buried. I was in a complete fog due to him drugging me and poisoning me for at least the last 2 years, if not longer. It took me 10 years to put muscle back onto bone. I will never live with anyone ever again due to what all went on in my own house. Horrifying, monstrous.
Absolutely Correct in layers and layers of Truth. No further comment could add to this in any way. Except to say THIS. When I have ignored my instincts, my Spirit was trying to tell my physical mind that I was driving around lowered crossing gates, flashing lights, directly into the path of an oncoming train. Instincts are like Railroad Crossing Signals. And So It Is.
I have lived through many narcassistic relationship, and now the red flags make my whole body shake and my spirit gets sad, angry and confused.I am confident within myself alone, but find it hard to even want to connect with others for fear it will be at my own expense. I want friends, but don't have confidence in my choices, yet, it's also my experience that the narcissist seeks me, so I have made myself unapproachable. I guess I still have a lot of healing to do.
I was a regular journaler before I met my narc husband. When things with him began to be odd early on I started journaling into my battery operated digital journal, later I started recording him secretly. Praise God for giving me the strength to do that. I was petrified he would find it. I now have needed evidence. At the time it just gave me peace in my soul to journal. It made me feel less crazy and doubtful that my instincts were correct. I highly recommend journaling. It helps to bring clarity back. And PRAY. God is ALWAYS here for you.
Thank you Andrew. You have no idea how your videos, this one in particular have helped me get through this period of taking action against my physically abusive psychopathic narc husband. I had a win the other day. We were having our first court hearing in which we were in each others presence for the first time since early January. I was sitting alone on a bench waiting outside the courtroom for the hearing to begin. In walks my ex narc. He sat almost directly in front of me facing me to intimidate me I am sure. Truly between God's strength given to me in answer to prayer, and the strength I have grown to have from hearing your words, I was calm, went about my business checking my notes, looked around as if he was not there. Then it happened. HE got uncomfortable and moved to a spot where HE could not see me. That was a total win, and it felt great! I was granted a protection from abuse order for a year from the hearing. Truth prevailed. Thank you, Thank you, Thank you for your wisdom, it has truly helped me immensely.
You are so right. I overlooked so many things my gut was telling me were wrong. I kept telling myself it will get better, things will improve. I made excuses for her - I gaslighted myself. Until it got to the point that I wanted to die. I truly did. I knew I had to escape. My health was deteriorating - I'm on heart medication because of the intense anxiety I experienced. Hopefully, after some time away I will be able to ween myself off this medication (with the aid of my doctor). It was only in the last year that my heart started to go into severe pvc's. I actually had a physical reaction every time she returned to the house. I literally shuddered or jumped. I was like a frightened puppy. I would cower in her presence. It was that bad. Then I learned about NPD. These videos are so helpful. And I know I am going to be okay. It's only been since Good Friday (2 weeks) that I left for good to start my new life. I took 12 years of abuse. Some have already noticed a difference in me. Although I still haven't realized it, the fact that others have means I'm on the right path.
Oh My Gosh Andrew! You are saying verbatim the things my husband said to me. It is a breath of fresh air, truly a mental and physical relief to have my instincts and reactions validated. And yes, because I found my strength again a few years into it, and started calling him out on his abusive behaviour it got worse and worse.
I should have listened to my instincts but I was love bombed and I thought he was genuine. Never again! I will listen from the very beginning if there is another time. Thank you Andrew for helping me realize my mistakes!
You are so right about everything, I wish i would have known that the word NO would have ended the SHENANIGANS sooner, it could have ended before it did.
A HUGE red flag I ignored was when the abusive ex told me his previous wife “set him up” in Colorado for domestic abuse charges. That she made up evidence and it was her fault. I believed he was the victim. He fled an impending prison sentence in Colorado, broke her restraining order and took his stuff from the apartment, drove across the country to LA airport and flew back out to Australia and lay dormant for 6 years. Then I came along. Boom. How could I have ignored this!?
The BIGGEST MISTAKE I EVER MADE WAS IGNORING THE RED FLAGS 🚩 & THE CONCERNS OF BOTH MY BFF & MY DAUGHTER TELLING ME THEY SAW HIS GRANDIOSITY & BELIEVED HE’S A NARCISSIST
I do appreciate this channel. I trusted my Narc. I had been married once before and never dreamed of another failed marriage. Lots of red flags. My car not in garage only his. Stopped talking to his 14 year old daughter for 2 years. I reached out to an attorney a year into the marriage. Instinct!!! He manipulated and abused me verbally, emotionally and financially!
Intuition, instincts, my heart, how I feel inside. My x narc girlfriend always tells me you got no proof! Lol I don't need proof! That's probably why she says that. 🤔
Not trusting my gut instincts got me into so many bad situations. Once I realized I only had to trust it, everything changed. So many people will conform to group think. I seemed to always be the rebel who was always unwilling to do things that don't make any sense. Knowing who you are in Christ really helps. I am enjoying your videos and the amazing people who comment. God bless
Author and security consultant Gavin De Becker wrote a book called, The Gift of Fear many years ago that focuses on listening to your instincts. I find spending time in nature heightens mine (instincts). Good practice.
I read this book The Gift of Fear too!! Excellent book!! Bought it after I was randomly assaulted by my ex narc!!! 👍👍👍💪💪💪 I can laugh about it now as it's some time ago, but very unpleasant at the time. But I listen to my gut every day nowadays 😊😊😊
My favorite is ," your crazy" Look at yourself,or they actually don't believe you or what you tell them.I am truly an Empath,I really am.Well I am going to keep growing my yellow zone
Yes, I did take notes, I wrote in my journal, I saw the pattern and discovered I was in love with a Narcissist. I was so in love I did not care. After the 3 year pattern, I prayed for God to get me our of that relationship. Your channel has helped me understand better what happened. It is hard to describe to others what this experience was like. Thanks Andrew for creating this channel. I will TRUST my instincts from now on.
I kept a journal just out of habit. I started noticing the pattern. You do forget things in the love bomb stage, but when I went back and read my entries….lightbulbs went off and that’s when I started my research. My Relationship was only three years but I consider it not three years wasted but three years of proper education on narcissism. Next time I’ll see them from a mile away and go the other direction
Ouch! I remember back when my narcissist wife was all full of herself, she said to me, if you had it to do all over again would you marry me again? Immediately I said NO! She said you said that very quickly! I responded, how about, fuck no! Those are the words to say to a narcissist!
You are spot on! Took 8 years to get through a divorce process that he kept blocking hoping I’d give up and give in. A full physical, then mental breakdown, bankruptcy and move out of state to get away from his grasp later, I believe I’m finally in the mend. I say it again you are spot on! Thank you!
Amen! Thanks much! I had a long list, would delete it then rewrite it a week later. At the end I read it to him. Sooo many times I said this isn’t right, people don’t act like this, say what you mean & do what you say, etc. I thought he was ‘just’ passive aggressive. I thought he’d change because there were so many promises. A Narcissist's Prayer 1. That didn't happen. 2_And if it did, it wasn't that bad. 3 And if it was, that's not a big deal. 4. And if it is, that's not my fault. 5.And if it was, I didn't mean it. And if I did. 6. You deserved it. - anonymous
I was only with her for months and yet the damage surpasses all other break ups I’ve had. I just could not fathom her behaviour, and not many people can understand what I might say about the experience. Or why I seemed to be stuck on it. She went from being “in love” with me to calling the police on me and making a story up about me being a scary sociopath. I knew all along and I ignored myself and I’ll never ever do that again.
I too made notes with dates and kept in my phone. I also did the research (mostly gas lighting, signs your partner is cheating, etc), which created the shift in my behavior and thus my eventual deval and discard. However, it was only after it was over that I learned that it was NPD all along.
My instincts were on the money when I was growing up, to distance myself from my mother helped me, but I didn't know my mother was a narcissist. Then I married my ex-husband when I was 20, gave him 27 years, and now 27 years later everything makes sense now, because they are narcissists! Also my sister and my 2nd daughter too. Through listening to your easy to hear, description, makes sooooo much sense. I am surrounded by people who are too toxic for me, and I keep dropping people from my life. And that is OK. I only realised last year all this toxic stuff is called narcissism! I am now 72!
She came running back to me after being away six yrs. with a masrer degree in social work. Love bombed from day one. She was covert and I fell. And it continues in the same way all of the stories continue when it comes to getting hit by a narc. What I have learned through educating myself on this subjest has brought clarity and healing, it's bringing me out of the darkness.
There were so many red flags when I was dating him but I chose to ignore and push forward and ended up being with a narcissist for 7 yrs. There were many times where my instincts would make me ask myself - is this ok? And although the answer was- no, I wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt. What a lesson to be learned!!!! Never again!! I'm working now on changing myself for the better. Great video, Andrew!!
Trust yourself, believe in yourself, trust your instincts, follow your intuition, you know what is best for you, only you know - nobody else. Your instincts are golden. Thank you Andrew. God bless you❤
I saw the red flags after the love bombing phase.. and I chose to ignore them.. it was a slow devalue phase with no real discard..I knew there was a new "supply" but ignored that too. It's over I know and I have to work through this now.. im still nice to her .. thats how I'm wired
Thanks Andrew, had a bit of a relapse morning where my head decided to question "am I sure she's really a narcissist and I just can't handle how the relationship ended" - I have one of those lists aswell. It's called "The Bad List" and whenever I question myself I read it to acknowledge what I went through. Bumped into a few flying monkeys and it's genuinely disgusting the amount of information they had on me despite blocking every one of them. Genuinely feel disgusted they go to such lengths to find stuff out about me. My new address, I mean that's terrifying
There was no World Wide Web when I was married to a very abusive narcissist but I did get out in 2 1/2 years. It was my 2 nd abusive marriage after a childhood of narc abusive mother. I did a lot of work and didn’t plan on another relationship but I’m married 28 yrs now. Yet I’m just putting everything together now that I’m learning about narcissistic abuse. My children were so hurt by their fathers and weapon used against me. The fall out continues even from the physical abuse. Thank you for putting this education out there. I am an empath that didn’t listen to them when I should have. Learning to forgive myself.
I'm binge watching your vids and it occured to me that you always say coming to you from beautiful Costa Rica. We Empaths always appreciate things and people and places. And Narcs always have a prob. They could be in paradise and something will not be good enough.
During my relationship I didnt know anything about narcisissts until couple years ago and was with him for almost 10 years I just knew there was something not right but could never put my finger on it . Like causing drama out of no where and then going away for days and weeks at times then returning like nothing happened . What I noticed the most which shocked me was how quickly they would dump friends and family that they knew for years just out the blue which never made sense cwitj no explanation . I know now why cause started to watch videos like this then left my narcisisst last year . Your right always trust your instincts as there inbuilt to warn you of danger .
Bread crumbs of hope! That so true.You couldn't of said it better.I hate question ing myself,I have had to stop responding like inside my body I actually shake inside.The worst is they work you into a corner of NEED and it's always money or the threat of money .
![Kodak Black - Catch Fire [Official Music Video]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/A4ch-olIuZo/mqdefault.jpg)
Never will I ignore the red flags again. There were so many red flags from day one, but I chose to ignore them and trusted in him instead. I will trust my instincts, now and forever. Thank you Andrew
Welcome Sonia..💯🙏🙌
You are so right ! I saw the red flags too and kept thinking she would snap out of it and I just knew something wasn't right, but I kept ignoring all the flags . Never again will I dismiss those valuable red flags ! Time to move on !
@@aquamarin4294
The behaviour of a narcissist is weird. One doesn´t have to put a label like "NPD" on a person to be able to recognize that something is wrong with a person.
I had a gut feeling that something was wrong from day one when I met my "Ex".
I just couldn´t put a finger on it. So I watched him and his sometimes unusual behaviour closely as I would do with any person I just met.
I didn´t know at the time that he was a narcissist but when you find out that someone is lying, cheating, has zero empathy, is afraid of emotional closeness, avoids kissing like the plague and hugs you like you´re a hot iron, uses different female first names when he talks to you, uses silence after tiny disagreements........you just know that something is very wrong!
So after a couple of months I decided to leave.
It is absolutely not necessary to know that a person is a narcissist to protect oneself. Any sane, emotionally healthy and intelligent person will leave a potential partner which behaves like the one I described. And who cares what the clinical name for this person´s behaviour is? You don´t need a label to uncover bad behaviour!
So not knowing about narcissism/NPD is not really an excuse to stay in a relationship with a person who treats you like a doormat. It is rather the unability or unwillingness to acknowledge that evil people like narcissists exist!
@ Sonia O'Neill
TOTALLY AGREE !! ✔♠💯💯
Neeevvveerrr!!!
We were smart to see it in the first place, I saw it, but I didn’t trust my instinct. I run with it now, some people don’t like it, that’s just too bad. 😉
SOMETIMES your HEART
NEEDS more TIME to
ACCEPT what your MIND
already KNOWS.
Completely true 🙌💯
Ignoring our instincts which are spot on causes anxiety, depression, fear, illness and more. So do the list and pull it out and read it whenever you doubt your instincts. Then don't go back beautiful ones.
Exactly 💯💯
I had ALLLLL those instincts and got quite ill. Thanks for this!
@@jackidezell3401 same
Well said 💚
You are beautiful Heather so right in your comment Yes those horrid mental causes not for my strength going deep to END wot I put Into them many years the Key is unblocked use tolerance 😀 endurance for ME TERMS OF Self awareness protection Happiest 😀 in being MYSELF
"Something just wasn't right" from day one, till the last day when I was discarded. Now I have made a promise to myself. Trust me, first, second, and third. Stay strong everyone and continue to believe in what your body, mind, and spirit is telling you. Blessings to you Andrew and everyone on this path of healing!
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When you catch a narcissist in lie or sea of lies, they get angry, upset, sometimes violent and saying that you are falsely accusing them and dirtying their name, when they are upset you uncovered the truth. I was right!!
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Yup me to exactly the same and then I came across this channel and everything made sense.
So true, as if those words are spoken wherever in the 🌎. Every time I caught her lying, I was made out to be the bad apple, quickly putting the spotlight on me that I'm at fault. So true.
When we are hungry (vulnerable), even a bitter thing tastes sweet.
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Sums it up in a nutshell 💯❤️🩹
The gut in medical biology has been proven to act as a second brain. Rather like our neurological cognitive abilities it is known the gut can receive and process information similarly to our brains. I have become very attuned with my gut since narc abuse, and I let my gut read a situation or conversation before I say a word. My gut reacts so quickly as to the validity or fakery of most situations these days, I actually feel it respond!! It's quite fascinating once you tune in, as it seems right every time!! I was never really aware of it before, maybe I'd get a vague feeling in my gut area and just dismiss it. I now realise it's your second brain telling you something!! It's a real asset!! 👍👍👍💜🇬🇧
Thank you for sharing this Amanda 💯🙌🙏🇬🇧🇨🇷🙌
Spot on!
I had a strong GUT FEELING THAT HE WAS TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE! I should have RAN back then! Always listen to your GUT feeling!
@@jannlewandowski5540 Some even see it as the main brain. I think it's only second, to the h-eart! ♥️🔥💐💯
Both former spouse upset me so much my gut was in turmoil most days, acid reflux and I would not go to sleep before either one of them went to sleep.
The signs were subtle at first. The devaluing, shaming, silent treatment, constant criticism all became the top things I began looking on UTube educating myself. I knew there was definitely something wrong with someone that know matter what u do they r never satisfied yet do nothing or offer no solution or resolution to anything. I was able to leave 6 mos ago. FREEDOM! RED FLAGS!!!
Beautiful Pamela 💯🙌💪🙏
That gut feeling is the voice of God telling you get out right away...listen to it. It's golden.
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Do not tell the next person why you left the narcissist and don’t tell them what they were. That is to much information especially if you are taking your time to know them which is a excellent idea Igor obvious reasons. Stay strong, kind and always remember you are worth a lot! 👍😘
Beautiful Cathy..💯🙌💪😉
Amen Amen 💯💯
I agree protect your heart because the next person you meet could be one you have to really study people like me this is what I've learnt it has changed me but for the better and it's good to be aware of people not just in relationships but in friendships or work anyone use caution I have a really nice friend now but our friendship happened so naturally so organic we laugh at each other we have deep conversations 😊 everything that a friendship should be never tell anyone new what you went through..
I needed to hear this! Three children and a stroke later I finally realized that he had narcissist written all over himself. We are still going through a custody battle but I'm starting to heal, both from the stroke and from him.
Sending you healing and positive energy Shanelle..🙏🙌🙏🙌💯💯
Happy to know your healing🤗
@@NARCDAILYYouAreNotAlone thank you! God bless you🤗
@@monicagreen6217 🤗
God bless you. I'm praying for your healing 🙏
Many moments wondering 🤔 💭 😳 wtf was that? Why would anyone do that? Who does that? Why would anyone treat me like that? No one has ever treated me like that! ETC...love you guys and 💚💛😍💌 to Andrew. Goodnight.
Thank you Newlife22 💯🙏🙌😉
I heard a quote about red flags:
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"When we are looking at the world thru rose-colored glasses all the red warning flags just look like flags."
We are the eternal optimist. Literally slaves in bondage hoping for a day they will wake up and stop being abusive. It's not coming. We have to accept that. Hope just prolongs our suffering. We have limited time in this world. We are going to die. We are wasting our precious lives with these empty hollow entities that will NVR love us or even treat us with common decency. 😥
Excellent insight beepboop..💯🙌🙏
All the things Andrew says at the top is on us who get into these narcissistic relationships. We have to have some harsh heart to hearts with ourselves about not listening to ourselves thinking something’s not right, the red flags, the cognitive dissonance. The answers are all there if we stop, listen, and act like a parent who protects our inner child who didn’t learn how to protect themselves. Be that for your inner child. The quicker u stop and just listen and honor yourself first, the faster u will eliminate the loser who is trying to rope u in.
Beautiful insight Chiara..🙌🙏💪💯
Wonderfully expressed, Chiara. Thank you. That inner child needs a hart-to-heart discussion and a good heartfelt hug!
Great advice, thank you 🙏
I got lost in her love bombing. Ending it and went thru therapy. Therapist showed to me, the red flags were there the very first day. Just didn't see it, I was love bombed and she did her homework before she met me.
I understand Stephen 🙌💯💯
You explain the issue so well, Andrew. Being around narcissists I always had the feeling that I could not trust them. Still, through their ongoing manipulative tricks they manage to get you to idealize them, until you learn more about narcissism.
Thank you Maria..🙏🙌😊😉💯
thank you
From the 1st date I felt something was not right in my gut yet I ignored it, I stayed for 25 yrs.
I understand Christine 💯🙌😉
And we got used to it😪
When I stood up, it was a house of cards 💥
Exactly 🙏💯💯
I ignored many red flags. Can’t explain why I was so blind. Finally woke up. Thank God. Appreciate your videos.
Welcome E P..🙏🙌💯
One night we were having a "family dinner," meaning with our kids from other relationships because I thought we were trying to have a blended family. Anyhow, I had had a bad day for reasons the narc knew about. I asked him to be extra nice because I was already on the verge of tears (but I was still wanting to have this family moment and do my part to make it work). He straight up said no, because I hadn't asked him nice enough, so he wasn't going to be nice to me. 😳 ....that was one of the beginning of the end moments when I knew I had to get out.
I appreciate your kindness and sharing this insight Becca..💯🙏🙌💯
Don't you get tired of the BS! "I was talking and you interrupted me." "You should have ask nicer." "I don't like you tone of voice!" "I don't like that blouse can you change it?"!
@@Terri_Hugs absolutely! That's why I left!
Andrew, I can’t thank you enough for this channel, you and the community of subscribers have literally saved my mental sanity. I also made a list, so glad I did. Problem was that I never trusted myself. But 2022 is the year I have decided to go with my gut.
Welcome Gary.. you are amazing and loved 🙌💯🙏💯
Yes! Second that Gary! 👍👍
Most definitely! Listening to Andrew’s videos is really giving me strength and healing right now, when I need it the most!! Thank you Andrew!
Yep this is so true for me during a three-year relationship with a narcissist which I didn't know at the time my intuition my gut told me to leave him four times three times I returned to my detriment the last time I found out exactly what he was and what a relief it was to know what I have been dealing with because my intuition told me this is not a good thing and I was so seeped in it by the grace of God I got out.
I saw a lot of red flags at the beginning. I was played from the beginning about his sad messy life but how he got it all together. So I decided to take it slowly, although he told me he had fallen in love with me almost immediately. In the circumstances we met, he no doubt saw I was a loving person, cradling my cat who showed me great love always. I would tell him not to tell me he loved me because he did not know me enough. He told me one day I would believe him and learn to trust him - and once I said I loved and trusted him that is when it all started to become weird. Just little by little. But after the five years looking back I can see he actually had a game plan. I was just a convenient means to his end game. The real clincher was that towards the end I was quite ill. I was booked in for my very first ever surgery. I was scared but also couldn't have sex - so he created a fight and left two days before I had to go the hospital. I know now that it was no longer about him - so he was kinda bored. He couldn't have sex with me - and that for him was a large degree of his supply - he came back home the day before the operation. I had to do a prep pre-op and told him I would probably spend most of the night dealing with that - I gave him the choice to stay with me as support or not stay and he chose not to stay. The worst thing about this? I had forgotten about this - and it was my sister who reminded me (she had taken me to and from hospital) . I was of no use to him at all that night. KEEP A JOURNAL - because you forget a lot of things when you are busy being an empath. Thanks Andrew
Welcome always 💯🙌🙏💯
You are right, i also forgot all those weird things he did. I start remembering now that he's gone
I kept a journal just out of habit. I started noticing the pattern. You do forget things in the love bomb stage, but when I went back and read my entries….lightbulbs went off and that’s when I started my research. My Relationship was only three years but I consider it not three years wasted but three years of proper education on narcissism. Next time I’ll see them from a mile away and go the other direction
Yes...keep a journal..it will save you...and will have all the confirmations: he/she/is a cheater/a croock/a deceiver/ a you just name it😢😮
So true! Don’t underestimate your spidey senses!
Always 😉💪😊
I woke up 2 mounts through the relationship with a narcissistic guy but then, I figured out I actually, grew up with a narcissistic father 🤦🏼♀️
Sending prayers and positive energy to you 💯🙌🙏
I had notes from 3 years ago, phone, notebook, emails, cards….ended this summer 2021. I’m still in amazement at the experience. more precisely the horror.
I understand completely Tizara..🙌🙏😉
My experiences and instincts had me "googling" their behavior. I knew something was "off" but I couldn't put my finger on it. When multiple people can share the same negative experiences, you have to understand these are not isolated individual experiences but repeated "patterns".
Cluster B personality disorders are very real- and even people with an opportunity to discover some hard truths, still don't want to accept them. Denial is extremely powerful. I've also learned people have to leave the Narcissist in their own way, and in their own timing... these are intense relationships regardless if its friend, family, romantic, or business related.
"Cognitive Dissonance" is one of my favorite terms to learn- because you obtain a lot of it and you hear a lot of it from others. I remember being so confused or shocked by the Narcissist's behavior- whether it was something I experienced or something someone else experienced. Without the education you remain in the fog... and for those who are discarded and still don't learn what they are dealing with, remain very vulnerable.
Thank you for sharing this AM MJ..💯💪🙌🙏
That's how I learned what narcissism is in 2011 when I googled the signs...11 years later I am still brushing up on my skills on this evil disorder.
As intelligent as I am, I believed every lie he told me. I justified his lies in my mind so I wouldn't upset him. I even took responsibility for everything he did wrong! I'm so glad it's over!
"Knowing right from wrong is the cornerstone of your existence"- absolutely!!!
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I marvel at these words by Andrew. I finally know what happened to me. Some days I listen and just sit for awhile in astonishment that this much is known about personality disorders and what happens in relationships. On some level, I knew. My instincts told me. Another part of me believed I was greatly inferior to others, especially the Narc and his family. I often asked myself, Why was I even born, if I can't function adequately as a human being." Now, I know. I am a good person with gifts and have a purpose. I can no longer be defined by what a Narc has manipulated me to believe.
Absolutely as I get older even more so and you can smell it instantly and even munipulater also you can hear it the moment they open their mouth! You will be surprised there are more narcissistic people around than you think and I don’t want to loose my integrity and compassion it’s inborn in me! You have so many followers cause you are so easy to understand and I like you strike me as down to earth guy
Andrew You are like the greatest friend reaching out .Thank you
Welcome 🙏
Thanks, Andrew! 💯 It is exactly as you say. I remember thinking to myself, “Is this a reason when you are supposed to drop the relationship? Maybe it’s is an idiosyncrasy. All of us have quirks.” To my own detriment, since I didn’t have a working knowledge of red flags I let it pass. I spent way too much time crying and not knowing and understanding what was behind it. There was an incredible amount of lying, hiding, and sneaking. He was so accomplished at it all. I have this to say: there are no free refills on trust, love, and respect.
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Thank you for sharing this insight Karen..🙌🙏💯💯
@@NARCDAILYYouAreNotAlone Thanks, Andrew! 🙏🏼🎶🙏🏼
Karen!!! I love how you said no free refills!!! Yesssss!!!
I looked for red flags I knew, but my Spidey Sense was tingling from the start! I didn’t know the more subtle clues, but now I know more! Thank you for teaching!
Welcome 🙏 ☀️💯
Yes, it is uncanny how much they are alike. Bizarre behaviors over time. Just as you say. I did write them down as a reference point. And thank God I did because it helped me during my healing journey to look back on all that.
Beautiful insight Pamela 💪💪😉😉💯🙏😊🙏
gonna try the list writing, nice idea
It does help A LOT....I feel and remember the feelings and they suck...
We want to believe in the best, godliness and beauty of others. That's why we give them a benefit of a doubt again and again. We are all part of a greater whole...but it's up to us ourselves to take care of our own part of the whole.
😊💯🙏
The unhealthy moments add up, we feel weird & in our backpocket we make notes - one day you cannot ignore those red flags anymore & when you wake up & realize that they know exactly what they have been doing all along you have to be able to cope with that new found reality. We need to keep breathing, acknowledge our newfound education & honor our instincts, & definitely move on without them. Ty
They certainly do add up..💯💯😉
I remember that the very first time we met there where red flags 🙄!!! NO CONTACT FOR LIFE ANDREW THANKYOU MY FRIEND 🤗❤️
Welcome Shannon 💯🙌🙏💪
You are right 30 years in the fog you have to listen to your real gut feeling we will have to be strong
Absolutely correct.. thank you Rob..🙏🙌💪
Whooo!!! Mine had more red flags than a Chinese army!!! 5 long disgusting years and on her way out she told me how much I was losing and how special she is. Yuck!!!
Thank you Sean..💯🙏🙌
Hahaha that's a good one lol. My x narc girlfriend told me " you'll never see another great woman like me" 😂😂😂
More red flags than a Chinese Army, 🤣! I've never heard that one before so I don't know if it's original but sorry, I'm stealing it! :)
😂🤘🙌
@@G2thesecondpower me too! 😂
Exactamente! I even told the jerk, something seems off!
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I wrote my list AFTER realizing who i've been living with for the past 2 decades. Unfortunately, youtube and the internet didn't really exist 2+ decades ago at least not how available it is now.
but like all of us, I wanted to make the relationship work and kept giving in, rationalizing, and making excuses. But I always had that spider sense that something was amiss, but believed that maybe just one more time, just a little bit more love, just a tad more patience, maybe it would work. and her intermittent reinforcement kept me hoping. damn.
did it work? NO! wash, rinse, repeat. Not until 2018 did I research unsubstantiated anger did I finally realize, who I've been living with and all those really strange episodes of anger and UNLOVING behaviors - now made sense.
thanks, andrew.
Welcome always pan fried 🙏🙌💯
I didn’t have a name for it until after the fact.
I understand completely G G..💯🙏🙌
When we dare to stand up to them, they cannot stand that. Good, go for it! We have the courage, strength & right to do so. They are thiefs, cowards, disloyal liars. Who would have suspected that? Seriously they have nothing we need & we deserve so much better. We got to trust ourselves fully again. Courage! Ty
Beautiful Carol..💯🙌🙏
Yes, right from the Get Go I knew deep down this was not good news, but I guess my co dependent nature and my ego got the better of me. Lies and cruelty we're exposed to me, sometime against all the odds and still I stayed . So now 1 year after my near annihilation of discard. I am facing the harsh reality of the folie a deux I was in.
Day 13 of my first "clean" Year for 20 years.
Thank you Andrew for the lifeline of your daily wisdom. You, and all on this channel help, educate and support me more than you can imagine. Namaste
Thank you asprospitti 🙏😉🙌💯
True 🙏 What is important is to learn to listen to your own intuition 🙏 One's own intuition will always warn you 👍 What we all need is to learn to listen and go with what our intuition tells us 🙏 Love and light for all 🙏🙏 ❤️🙏🙏
Beautiful comment thank you Grande..🙏🙌💯😊
I would type notes (like a diary) and email them to myself, then put them in a folder under his name. It came in handy to make sense of things - what was really happening on a certain day during my relationship (after I was discarded and found out about the betrayals / new supply).
My instincts were correct (they normally are). I had knowledge about narcs and stood my ground, but my ex was a covert narcissist - he was *really* good at creating excuses and "future faking" to make me believe xyz. And I did. 😡
Thank you Wishpool 🙏🙌💯😉
I had no words to describe the hideousness of what happened to me during a 5- year marriage, age 25 to 30, til about 3 years ago. I am 60 this month. Now I know this is what it was --extreme malignant narcissistic abuse … though I think there was much more even than that going on. I left at 75 lbs soaking wet with sores from bones protruding and being badgered over and over whether I wanted to be cremated or buried. I was in a complete fog due to him drugging me and poisoning me for at least the last 2 years, if not longer. It took me 10 years to put muscle back onto bone. I will never live with anyone ever again due to what all went on in my own house. Horrifying, monstrous.
Thank you for sharing this 🙏🙌💯
Thank you Andrew! Well said 💖💖💖
Welcome 🙏 💯🙌
Absolutely Correct in layers and layers of Truth. No further comment could add to this in any way. Except to say THIS. When I have ignored my instincts, my Spirit was trying to tell my physical mind that I was driving around lowered crossing gates, flashing lights, directly into the path of an oncoming train. Instincts are like Railroad Crossing Signals. And So It Is.
Thank you for sharing 💯🙌🙏
Very Inspiring. Wow, so many red flags. You are right about trusting ourselves. And trusting our instincts
And not brushing them off or ignoring them
Yes 💯🙌🙏💪
I have lived through many narcassistic relationship, and now the red flags make my whole body shake and my spirit gets sad, angry and confused.I am confident within myself alone, but find it hard to even want to connect with others for fear it will be at my own expense. I want friends, but don't have confidence in my choices, yet, it's also my experience that the narcissist seeks me, so I have made myself unapproachable. I guess I still have a lot of healing to do.
Continue to become educated and empowered 💯🙏🙌💯
Wow. Bang on! Thank you.
Welcome 🙏
I was a regular journaler before I met my narc husband. When things with him began to be odd early on I started journaling into my battery operated digital journal, later I started recording him secretly. Praise God for giving me the strength to do that. I was petrified he would find it. I now have needed evidence. At the time it just gave me peace in my soul to journal. It made me feel less crazy and doubtful that my instincts were correct. I highly recommend journaling. It helps to bring clarity back. And PRAY. God is ALWAYS here for you.
Thank you Andrew. You have no idea how your videos, this one in particular have helped me get through this period of taking action against my physically abusive psychopathic narc husband. I had a win the other day. We were having our first court hearing in which we were in each others presence for the first time since early January. I was sitting alone on a bench waiting outside the courtroom for the hearing to begin. In walks my ex narc. He sat almost directly in front of me facing me to intimidate me I am sure. Truly between God's strength given to me in answer to prayer, and the strength I have grown to have from hearing your words, I was calm, went about my business checking my notes, looked around as if he was not there. Then it happened. HE got uncomfortable and moved to a spot where HE could not see me. That was a total win, and it felt great! I was granted a protection from abuse order for a year from the hearing. Truth prevailed. Thank you, Thank you, Thank you for your wisdom, it has truly helped me immensely.
Welcome 🙏💯🙌😌
You are so right. I overlooked so many things my gut was telling me were wrong. I kept telling myself it will get better, things will improve. I made excuses for her - I gaslighted myself. Until it got to the point that I wanted to die. I truly did. I knew I had to escape. My health was deteriorating - I'm on heart medication because of the intense anxiety I experienced. Hopefully, after some time away I will be able to ween myself off this medication (with the aid of my doctor). It was only in the last year that my heart started to go into severe pvc's. I actually had a physical reaction every time she returned to the house. I literally shuddered or jumped. I was like a frightened puppy. I would cower in her presence. It was that bad. Then I learned about NPD. These videos are so helpful. And I know I am going to be okay. It's only been since Good Friday (2 weeks) that I left for good to start my new life. I took 12 years of abuse. Some have already noticed a difference in me. Although I still haven't realized it, the fact that others have means I'm on the right path.
Thank you for sharing this 💯🙏🙌
Oh My Gosh Andrew! You are saying verbatim the things my husband said to me. It is a breath of fresh air, truly a mental and physical relief to have my instincts and reactions validated. And yes, because I found my strength again a few years into it, and started calling him out on his abusive behaviour it got worse and worse.
He Reacted to things strangely.
I should have listened to my instincts but I was love bombed and I thought he was genuine. Never again! I will listen from the very beginning if there is another time. Thank you Andrew for helping me realize my mistakes!
Welcome Shelia 💯🙌🙏
You are so right about everything, I wish i would have known that the word NO would have ended the SHENANIGANS sooner, it could have ended before it did.
I understand Yvonne 🙌😉💯🙏
Man, you’re always “spot on” with exactly what I went through. Thanks for doing what you do.
Welcome Gary 💯🙌
A HUGE red flag I ignored was when the abusive ex told me his previous wife “set him up” in Colorado for domestic abuse charges. That she made up evidence and it was her fault. I believed he was the victim. He fled an impending prison sentence in Colorado, broke her restraining order and took his stuff from the apartment, drove across the country to LA airport and flew back out to Australia and lay dormant for 6 years. Then I came along. Boom. How could I have ignored this!?
The BIGGEST MISTAKE I EVER MADE WAS IGNORING THE RED FLAGS 🚩 & THE CONCERNS OF BOTH MY BFF & MY DAUGHTER TELLING ME THEY SAW HIS GRANDIOSITY & BELIEVED HE’S A NARCISSIST
🙏💯🙌
I do appreciate this channel. I trusted my Narc. I had been married once before and never dreamed of another failed marriage.
Lots of red flags. My car not in garage only his. Stopped talking to his 14 year old daughter for 2 years. I reached out to an attorney a year into the marriage. Instinct!!! He manipulated and abused me verbally, emotionally and financially!
I understand this completely 😉😉💯💯
Intuition, instincts, my heart, how I feel inside. My x narc girlfriend always tells me you got no proof! Lol I don't need proof! That's probably why she says that. 🤔
😉😉💪💪💯💯
I'm actually now learning to Trust my instincts and feelings. I catch myself not listening to them and stop, take breath and listen ‼️
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I'm coming to the realization of past intentions, I'm kinda sick to my stomach..
Thank you for sharing the message. Blessings to you
Welcome 🙏
Thank you Andrew
Not trusting my gut instincts got me into so many bad situations. Once I realized I only had to trust it, everything changed. So many people will conform to group think. I seemed to always be the rebel who was always unwilling to do things that don't make any sense. Knowing who you are in Christ really helps. I am enjoying your videos and the amazing people who comment. God bless
Thank you for sharing this 💯🙏🙌☀️
Author and security consultant Gavin De Becker wrote a book called, The Gift of Fear many years ago that focuses on listening to your instincts. I find spending time in nature heightens mine (instincts). Good practice.
Thank you for sharing this Tattooed Granny 💯🙌🙏😊
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It’s a great book.
I read this book The Gift of Fear too!! Excellent book!! Bought it after I was randomly assaulted by my ex narc!!! 👍👍👍💪💪💪 I can laugh about it now as it's some time ago, but very unpleasant at the time. But I listen to my gut every day nowadays 😊😊😊
Animals help too - especially cats and dogs
My favorite is ," your crazy" Look at yourself,or they actually don't believe you or what you tell them.I am truly an Empath,I really am.Well I am going to keep growing my yellow zone
Yes, I did take notes, I wrote in my journal, I saw the pattern and discovered I was in love with a Narcissist. I was so in love I did not care. After the 3 year pattern, I prayed for God to get me our of that relationship. Your channel has helped me understand better what happened. It is hard to describe to others what this experience was like. Thanks Andrew for creating this channel. I will TRUST my instincts from now on.
I kept a journal just out of habit. I started noticing the pattern. You do forget things in the love bomb stage, but when I went back and read my entries….lightbulbs went off and that’s when I started my research. My Relationship was only three years but I consider it not three years wasted but three years of proper education on narcissism. Next time I’ll see them from a mile away and go the other direction
Ouch! I remember back when my narcissist wife was all full of herself, she said to me, if you had it to do all over again would you marry me again? Immediately I said NO! She said you said that very quickly! I responded, how about, fuck no! Those are the words to say to a narcissist!
You are spot on! Took 8 years to get through a divorce process that he kept blocking hoping I’d give up and give in. A full physical, then mental breakdown, bankruptcy and move out of state to get away from his grasp later, I believe I’m finally in the mend. I say it again you are spot on! Thank you!
Welcome Dana..🙏🙌💪💯
Amen! Thanks much! I had a long list, would delete it then rewrite it a week later. At the end I read it to him.
Sooo many times I said this isn’t right, people don’t act like this, say what you mean & do what you say, etc. I thought he was ‘just’ passive aggressive. I thought he’d change because there were so many promises.
A Narcissist's Prayer
1. That didn't happen.
2_And if it did, it wasn't that bad.
3 And if it was, that's not a big deal.
4. And if it is, that's not my fault.
5.And if it was, I didn't mean it.
And if I did.
6. You deserved it.
- anonymous
Welcome 🙏😉🙌😊
Adding:
"You are the problem"
"Its your fault!"
"I never said so"
"You always make problems"
"I am very beautiful"
🙄🙄🙄🤡
I was only with her for months and yet the damage surpasses all other break ups I’ve had. I just could not fathom her behaviour, and not many people can understand what I might say about the experience. Or why I seemed to be stuck on it. She went from being “in love” with me to calling the police on me and making a story up about me being a scary sociopath.
I knew all along and I ignored myself and I’ll never ever do that again.
Thank you for sharing this Jared.. my hope is you are healing and improving 🙏💯🙌💪
I too made notes with dates and kept in my phone. I also did the research (mostly gas lighting, signs your partner is cheating, etc), which created the shift in my behavior and thus my eventual deval and discard. However, it was only after it was over that I learned that it was NPD all along.
Thank you for sharing The Giant Killer..😉🙏💯🙌💪
ding ding ding. the bell is rung. thanks Andrew.
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Thank you. We must trust our instincts. If something does not feel right, it is not right. We must discern what we are dealing with.
Welcome 🙏 🙌💯
🙂 agree, there was something 'off' about her, i couldnt put my finger on it at the time
I understand completely 😉🙌🙏💯
My instincts were on the money when I was growing up, to distance myself from my mother helped me, but I didn't know my mother was a narcissist. Then I married my ex-husband when I was 20, gave him 27 years, and now 27 years later everything makes sense now, because they are narcissists! Also my sister and my 2nd daughter too. Through listening to your easy to hear, description, makes sooooo much sense. I am surrounded by people who are too toxic for me, and I keep dropping people from my life. And that is OK. I only realised last year all this toxic stuff is called narcissism! I am now 72!
She came running back to me after being away six yrs. with a masrer degree in social work. Love bombed from day one. She was covert and I fell. And it continues in the same way all of the stories continue when it comes to getting hit by a narc.
What I have learned through educating myself on this subjest has brought clarity and healing, it's bringing me out of the darkness.
Beautiful progress and growth 💪🙏🙌
"OMG I was right" - that's the journey of each & everyone of us. Thanks for the video.
Welcome 🙏💯🙌
There were so many red flags when I was dating him but I chose to ignore and push forward and ended up being with a narcissist for 7 yrs. There were many times where my instincts would make me ask myself - is this ok? And although the answer was- no, I wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt. What a lesson to be learned!!!! Never again!! I'm working now on changing myself for the better. Great video, Andrew!!
Welcome always Kristine 🙏🙌💯
Trust yourself, believe in yourself, trust your instincts, follow your intuition, you know what is best for you, only you know - nobody else. Your instincts are golden. Thank you Andrew. God bless you❤
I kept notes, it is very crazy, looking back.
I know it is..😉🙏
Omg till I found out about NPD on here I'm out now after 10 years of toxicity smear campaign drama fog breakdown PTSD demonic they are 😱
Sending prayers and positive energy to you 🙏💯🙌
Same here almost 7 😢 there are top tier narcissist!!!
I would like to say warlord narc!!!
Intuition is your strongest ally. Never turn away from it.💪
I saw the red flags after the love bombing phase.. and I chose to ignore them.. it was a slow devalue phase with no real discard..I knew there was a new "supply" but ignored that too.
It's over I know and I have to work through this now.. im still nice to her .. thats how I'm wired
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Thanks Andrew, had a bit of a relapse morning where my head decided to question "am I sure she's really a narcissist and I just can't handle how the relationship ended" - I have one of those lists aswell. It's called "The Bad List" and whenever I question myself I read it to acknowledge what I went through. Bumped into a few flying monkeys and it's genuinely disgusting the amount of information they had on me despite blocking every one of them. Genuinely feel disgusted they go to such lengths to find stuff out about me. My new address, I mean that's terrifying
Continue on the path Shaun.. you are doing great 💪🙏🙌
Think of them as evil doing the devils work and you will shift gear …don’t mix with satan and his goats …it’s how I see my ex narc as the devil
It's oh so frustrating that other people just can"t see you you can , but then they haven't been put through the mill by the narcissist !
Thank you The Big H..🙌🙏💯
There was no World Wide Web when I was married to a very abusive narcissist but I did get out in 2 1/2 years. It was my 2 nd abusive marriage after a childhood of narc abusive mother. I did a lot of work and didn’t plan on another relationship but I’m married 28 yrs now. Yet I’m just putting everything together now that I’m learning about narcissistic abuse. My children were so hurt by their fathers and weapon used against me. The fall out continues even from the physical abuse. Thank you for putting this education out there. I am an empath that didn’t listen to them when I should have. Learning to forgive myself.
I'm binge watching your vids and it occured to me that you always say coming to you from beautiful Costa Rica. We Empaths always appreciate things and people and places. And Narcs always have a prob. They could be in paradise and something will not be good enough.
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💡 lightbulb went OFF, that’s why I learned through you🙏
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Always trust your gut.💯
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At the end my body WAS DYING!! Screaming like hell
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Spiritual discernment is such a blessing! 🙏
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@@NARCDAILYYouAreNotAlone 😉👍💯
During my relationship I didnt know anything about narcisissts until couple years ago and was with him for almost 10 years I just knew there was something not right but could never put my finger on it . Like causing drama out of no where and then going away for days and weeks at times then returning like nothing happened . What I noticed the most which shocked me was how quickly they would dump friends and family that they knew for years just out the blue which never made sense cwitj no explanation . I know now why cause started to watch videos like this then left my narcisisst last year . Your right always trust your instincts as there inbuilt to warn you of danger .
I understand completely 💯💯😉😉
Bread crumbs of hope! That so true.You couldn't of said it better.I hate question ing myself,I have had to stop responding like inside my body I actually shake inside.The worst is they work you into a corner of NEED and it's always money or the threat of money .
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