Refuses to wash his hands after going to the bathroom. Refuses to smoke his pot outside yet tells me how inconsiderate I am if I put vix on my feet. Destroying his stuff instead of giving it to someone who wanted it. Could never keep the time line straight so he could blame someone else’s reaction and the cause of the problem. Search my belongings while I’m at work. His idea of cleaning is to just transfer my objects from room to room and it looks no nicer than where I had it. Everything he does is half ass on purpose and when called out it’s a guilt trip about how I’m never happy. The few times he swept the floor he made 5 piles about the house then left them there til I got home from work I was expected to make a big deal at all the beautiful piles he made. Called paying his share or cleaning his dishes as helping me. Treats me like a teen treats his mother then accuses me of being abusive cuz I don’t want to sleep with him anymore. And the bed kink is over the top and gross. When he did a project he’d make it look worse like pulling down wall paper through out the whole house leave it rough and unpaintable and his job is done then when you complain you told you used him for labor . Original idea was to remove wallpaper smooth and paint one room at a time slowly so the whole house not trashed. They move in with a housing emergency claim they gonna split bills then don’t give a penny and continue to burn through all resources you have. Just finding a clean cloth intended for oil checks is proof I’m screwing men in the back of the truck and “wiping yourself with that rag” I got silent treatment and locked out of my bedroom for 2 weeks.confuses woman’s natural secretions in the underwear as sexual trist evidence. Saving bottles of his urine to splash all over my clothing in my closet . Having my metal mixing bowl with burned paper and a rotten carrot hidden in a room and when I find it and question him he accuses me of being nosey he ruined my mixing bowl burning paper in it. I can’t keep a journal he finds it then misunderstands everything I wrote in it and punishes me for it. Have to stare at full cabinets open and shut everyone then act like they hungry but nothing to eat and huff and puff. Never buys food and acts like the food you buy isn’t good. Blames me for not spending time with him, his idea of spending time is me sitting there watching him play games watch videos that only intrest him, I spent 3 years at work or at home in a chair in the bedroom like his automaton even leaving the room to do chores was a Nono cuz by his standards I take to long, heaven forbid I took a break from cleaning as he came out the room I’d then get accused I was lying about doing chores to play on my phone or cheat on him on Facebook!
Iv had fake conversations with myself before either to help me process to stop ruminating or to pretend I’m telling off my boss because I didn’t in real life 😂 I have a very hard time completing projects usually I run into a problem and takes me along time to figure out my error
Hoarding animals... my ex had 4 dogs, a big bird, 20 expensive spiders, 2 fishtanks... It just made sense after the relationship was over and I got cheated on... NOTHING was ever enough...
@@joanbaczek2575 Talking out loud help me focus on a thought when there is too much going on in the head. None of the conversations was to praise or create another reality. Its more to better understand something going over facts then trying out to figure what others meant. or were to fix a problem
I worked with severe abused people and they often get stuck on a song or sing to themselves and have full conversations with themselves going over a particular incident and often filling it in with what they wished that had said to the abuser. These same people have a need to hide their valuable things because their abusers might break it or use it to hurt them. Abused people are known to have memory issues. Or lie out of fear of more abuse from the narcissist. People in the medical field see this as symptoms of abuse. Be careful what you think of others without knowing the truth. Some of this is narcissist behavior but a lot of this is also victims ways of dealing with narcissist abuse
Wow those were the things I relate to in the vid the talking in a loop over traumatic experience. The person that seems to lead to these was a hoarder and most all the other treats he has a few cars that he claims he going to work on, and it seems he put a ton of money into only for them to have sat or years rusted out.
Yes, but you are taking it out of context. Yes we go over events in our heads and talk to ourselves and say how we wish things would have gone. But the part you left out was that normal people don’t then go out and claim things actually happened how they told themselves it did. We don’t rewrite history and events and then claim that’s how it actually happened. And we don’t talk to ourselves and imagine a conversation with a person and then claim they actually had the conversation with us as we imagined in our heads And narcissist hide their things because they expect you to break it because they would have broken your stuff. You hide it because you know they break it. Not because you think the narcissist is like you and you go around breaking other people’s things out of hate. Context and intention is key. Same with giving up as I replied on another comment. It is not the act of giving up. It is the reason they give up. The delusions of grandeur and detachment of reality they had in the beginning. And then giving up to punish people for not falling in with their grand vision as if the world will be sorry if the narcissist does not open their business.
The title should include that children who were raised by narcissists do this too. If you see this video, and you’ve been a victim of narcissistic abuse, please don’t doubt yourself and think that you are the narcissist. Especially if you deal with complex PTSD and grief which can mimic the signs of BPD in the unhealed stages of grief and trauma. Also, adrenal fatigue can mimic ADHD when healing from trauma. Give yourself time to heal before getting a label put on you. A lot of behaviors you were around on the daily with a narcissist, can seep into your life when you’re mind is still working on healing and recovering from the abuse and gas lighting. I’m sure this video intends to mean well, but it is lacking critical thinking. If you watch this video and question if you are a narcissist?, chances are you are not. They would never question themselves for introspection.
ABSOLUTELY! I just responded to someone’s comment on this. Some things on this list can be coping mechanisms when you’re dealing with narc abuse. Took me 40+ years of marriage and years of therapy to realize I wasn’t the crazy one. I at least had 20 years of normalcy to refer back to before I married my narc. I fear for my kids because it’s all they’ve ever known.😔
What you commented is exactly what I thought before half through this video. I also wondered if the author was a c-narc because thats their pattern, just wondering outloud here.
As sad as it is, if you had narcissistic parents, you most likely ARE narcissistic or have narcissistic patterns. Doubting yourself and recognising that your patterns are toxic is how you change your behaviour to avoid hurting others. Blocking the similarities out however, and trying to convince yourself that you're not narcissistic when you do indeed have toxic patterns, is what a narcissist does to avoid responsibility and shame. So yes, doubt and question yourself if you want to be a truly self aware and healthy individual.
Thank you for adding your message. I started listening and thought, wait a minute. We always think that maybe we "are" the narcissist, even though we didn't engage in the craziness throughout our lives and nothing we could possibly do could have changed our narc family members. Your comment is pertinent and valid. I was the scapegoat in a double narcissistic family (father then sister took over after parents divorce. Sister was hellbent on destroying me. She was one year older. Both of us are female now in our 60's, and she is still at it, and during covid has unfortunately pulled my daughter in. They are so very crafty/devious/malicious/evil for those that don't understand or see or understand it.. I am a Cancer and highly creative (sew and metalsmith--jewelry). I love handmade things and decorate for visual harmony and ascetics, but can go overboard with that. I also love shoes and cloths so I'm packed in. I now am in the process of thinning out my excess clothing...it's a process though. I otherwise have a lot of stuff and am also getting rid of excess there as well. So I can identify with having too much stuff for sure. Not the food or fridge thing though...I cook and am anal about a clean kitchen and cleanup. Since both narcs are extreme liars, I loath liars, and do not appear to have the other traits. I have struggled with "trauma bonds," and know that I've experienced negative traits due to that. Will be looking into specific psychotherapy for those raised in narc families as I need to live my life fully on my terms. I have walked away from my sister (did that in my teens, but was back and forth since she kept pulling me back in, and I the dutiful sister who felt bad that we weren't close, would mend with her until she would hit me over the head again), brother (who she sucked in and who does not have a backbone to stand up to her or our father, and who "happily and dutifully" does bidding for both without independently thinking and responding to them accordingly), and also my father as well, who is in his 80's. He was helpful to me for many years, but found out later that he was undermining and maligning (and triangulating with my family members about me) me behind my back (as well as to my face!). Sorry, this is long! I know many of us have a "story to tell." Thank you again for acknowledging that scapegoats can also share similar narc traits. God bless you and everyone else that is or has been affected by a narc.
Thank you for pointing that out I have ... Well I found this out under hypnosis that my anxiety disorders that were so severe I need to be medicated when I was 7 started out when I was like 4 from something I regarded as abandonment... And then my mom pretty much would just abandon me I me I remember having her make up et cetera so... Between that and my 88th G that's killer occurring and they honestly just agitate each other. There are when you read them off the list some things from BBD that is EPD that sounds like they would apply to me but when they are explaining further they don't.. When I was 13 14 15 my mom would always go to the psychiatrist with psychiatrist with me and I must have tried like 6 or 8 different meds for that and they would just make me feel like I wanted to die and I was stuck in my skin it was the worst feeling in the world... Didn't understand now clearly now I can understand that well well with anxiety I have LOW gaBA a activity/ low Serotonin & w Adhd low Norophrenine & dopamine... So many of these were also used for very serious things like schizophrenia as he has a running expression brain is overflowing and all of these so it won't make all of those lower. That explains it but it's like wtf whyn per nephron and dopamine
Also depression and ADD or Ptsd people often start things and not finished not lazy, but have been stripped of their self worth and confidence after abuse
Hi. Yes. But they do not have the delusions of grandeur that the narcissist has. Narcissists are removed from reality. Such as expecting they will make millions from selling scarfs they knit at home, while they cannot even finish one in a year. Or expecting to make a business selling cupcakes and paying their bills after they resigned while they have never baked a thing in their life and thinking they will make millions in a month so go out and blow all their cash. It’s not the act of giving up. It’s the delusions of grand success they had in the beginning and the detachment from reality. And often they give up to punish people for not wanting to buy from them. As if people are going to be sorry if the narcissist does not sell their perfect product and will then come rushing to the narcissist and begging the narcissist to reopen their business.
It's interesting... I've known many people who have had trauma of somkind, yet they were not a narrissist. I do recognize many of the similar characters of people with these traits.
@@cindihunter9119 when you have been on the inside for too long you learn. How to survive. You learn them better than anyone. You hurt each time you you can't hurt another like that but when it's your only way out you guilt yourself to death. You start to use their tactics to protect the innocent
@@RolandPihlakas hi. The title says strange things narcissists do. And in the beginning I state that not all do it. These are not defining traits of narcissism and the video never states that if someone does any of these they are a narcissist.
Omg TY for that...im 60...im just so done with constantly being dragged by narcs...it MUST be me...im sitting here today I can't get anything done but feed my cats & give em clean water & do boxes & once again they save my life just bc I can't betray them like that. I have no one I feel like it must be me I can't find a therapist up here tho. Sometimes I get what I've heard called 'adhd paralysis' and I just can't function. But im not gross or anything...just hurt and sooooo confused. It's like I have to start all over again every time. God help me.
My husband is now in a nursing home; however I'm now in charge of cleaning up his hoarding mess in the garage (to the ceiling and plastered against the walls) The number of duplicate products, unfinished projects, unopened tools and hidden things he has lost for years confirms his level of insanity. I've had a few months to myself and I feel re-born as I shed the overbearing responsibility of his caretaking. People who never lived with him, do not understand, yet nobody seems to be reaching out to help. Imagine that. He was ready to sell the house and give me my share unless I could keep him here. So very selfish and unrealistic.. I'm stuck because yes, he is dying, but it's what it is supposed to be- for now. . I have learned a great deal about myself, letting go of the resentment and accepting the process. Great video. Obviously resonated with me. Thank you for letting me rant.
Peace be with you sister. I've cleaned out his garage once...same as you described...had to do it alone while chronically ill...it was a forced move out of an apartment...the whole place was a mess and hoard. I threw out a ton as I was doing this alone...moved into a house and finally separated and moved out...the house is now filling up and nothing has a right spot it just goes wherever...glad I'm not in that chaos.
My mom used to start singing after she would hurt me or gaslight me into getting upset. Her house is filthy now, her little dogs pee and poop all over her house. I won’t go there anymore. She used totaled her purse to the bathroom whenever she went and lock her room. I would have never taken anything from it. She would take my stuff when I was growing up even the phone she would hide. Wow, so many more She is just crazy and I’m finally wrapping my head around all the abuse she put me through at 40
You got me with one. I have noticed this with the narcissists in my life. I personally believe part of it is taking control of all the available space.
This is absolutely spot on. My narcissist mother was: A hoarder: her flat was packed. She insisted that she was just "very sentimental" about everything (including bus tickets, yoghurt pots, catalogues, and broken appliances). Talked to herself constantly: including winding herself up before an argument (ranting) so that by the time she had confronted me with the accusation, she had already 'won' the argument. Rewrote history: she once poked me in the face during an argument and when I immediately asked her why she'd done that, she accused me of being the one who had hit her (I hadn't even got out of my seat). Assume that I knew people I'd never met (forgetting I'm a separate person). Didn't complete projects: bought lots of cloth to make things but never got started, collected recipe cards but never cooked anything at all in her life Unexpected clinginess: not interested in me when I was there, but when I went away on school holiday, she 'phoned and wrote to me (maybe she was playing to the audience). Excellent video!
This is how my Smother is too. She concocts the most outlandish stories, and I can picture her in my head, having these conversations with herself. She's stalked me all my life, and I keep my location secret from her now. Big hug for you Rapunzel. It is extremely sad to have never really had a 'mother.' It's like a constant mourning for something SO important, that we will never have.
This is a tough video to get thru, there is a point where what was narcissism just turns into crazy. My mother was like this, to a degree she was like this all her life, but about 40 and older she just started sliding down this hill and never slowed down. Not living in the truth does this to you.
Yes… without connection to truth (which requires facts and also inner truth introspection) the moral compass is totally broken. It’s the reaction of a little child who lies… I’ve even explained it to my mom but she just doesn’t get it… they love control… IMO it’s complete attested development bc of abuse. They cause so much pain though and the great mystery is how some people don’t have this reaction… I myself was raised in great abuse and I went the other way… my sister has no correlation to truth either… for me it’s the most important thing ever… truth and love. The best I can think is that as a child, I thought I want to always BE good (which means through introspection and learning I can and have evolved) whereas people w big disorders like this, they think I AM good… they are “perfect” and anything less they can’t entertain… so they pop up a false reality that correlates with that. After all, if they are good, then everything they do and think and say and believe must automatically be good… any challenge to that threatens their very sense of self… and in this paradigm they have the choices only of total denial of reality and reframing and projection or self-Destruction if they were to admit any error. Sometimes I think it’s literally this tiny distinction in perspective that sets a life long path of a false reality/broken moral compass. So glad I had that thought as a kid. I wanted to BE good versus thought I AM good. 💜 it’s painful my Mom is older and it’s only getting worse too
yes exactly! Living and believing their own lies over time causes them to lose touch with reality! Makes you wonder how many people who are older and mentally ill were raging narcs in their younger years.
Well put when you say that not living in truth makes people crazy and I can see this so clear in my ex and in my aging dad who both a narcissist. Aging narcissist are something crazy to be around or talk to the denile is sickly. I can't stand being around them, for days after my spirit feels angry and shaken. I find it maddening they think they can act in these manners and get away with it. The ego is running them and they don't care who they hurt or how. God bless.
Another box ticked. I thought hording was a separate issue but it fits in perfectly. "She" always made excuses for buying things a mostly were never needed. Nothing thrown away just in case it was needed.
It is interesting. When I started reading and watching videos about narcissist I saw almost every bizarre thing he did listed as a trait. Hoarding included, like you I just thought these were all separate issues.
Hiya Peter- I studied behaviour & I ve found that fragile narcissism is sometimes comorbid with OCPD traits and disorder; which is where this senseless to us hoarding comes from if it's serious.
The narc i know is both a neat freak and a hoarder. He overstuffs his bedroom with furniture, and electronics, DON'T U DARE PUT DOWN YOUR SLIPPERS. His car is immaculate and professionally cleaned in and out weekly...you must smooth the seat belt the right way or he'd prefer you don't use it. Now he has storage units stuff full of stuff, and his condo storage room is full to overflowing with kitchen things...2 of every measuring jug available, etc in a jumble. It's bizarre.
@@danielleking8920 It’s amazing how these narcs are all alike. We had a pretty tight knit workplace. One day someone posed the question,”what would surprise us about you?” I said I’m very neat and tidy and my husband is extremely messy. They believed me because we were a close knit group but admitted that it was very hard to believe.
@@dyoung2739 I believe you. If you were like me you were probably embarrassed by the condition of your living space. I know I was. It's another way they isolate us. My ex husband literally told me, I know the mess (hoard) bothers you and I DONT CARE! He then went on to blame me and gaslight me for his mess. Looking back, I'm ashamed I put up with so much and stayed so long. He was also, a habitual cheater, liarm the best at everything in his head, and horrible with money. D Young, I hope you have escaped my friend!
Be careful listening to this list, reality manny of these issues are a result of narcissistic abuse , an individual will need to sort this out within. recovery is understanding multiple aspects of who you are as a person, what happened in your life. Accountability for what is yours in the end. Along with understanding what happened , there is physical, chemical healing in the mind, thought change, personal spiritual healing, understanding of human nature along with the recovery. Society in its self is highly narcissistic. Each person will have their journey of recovery. You have value , self respect and worth.
Thanks for saying this. I found myself doing a few of the things on this list just TRYING to appease the narc I was married to for decades. You try to anticipate the hell that’ll be rained down on you if you “fail” them. (Checking the bank balance for fear of a 1 cent mistake, buying 5 ketchup so it’s never out again, asking if they loved me because it was never again said or shown literally the day after the wedding, singing random song lyrics that bolstered my sagging esteem) It took 40 years and secretly going to counseling to finally say THEY were the one with the problem. Someone early on in narc abuse may see this list as validation of the narc’s gaslighting. The fact the term narcissist is being thrown out everywhere these days attests to the double edged sword these videos can be.
@@sum1has2 I'm sorry you've been through this , I hope you are in a better place now I really do 💕 they are soul sucking demons and feed off our light .
@@kellls71 Thank you, I am doing better. Still a work in progress but will never be used again. It’s better that people are aware of this now; when I was young this was never even heard of or discussed. I’m going to enjoy what life I have left my way.💜
@@sum1has2 you are strong and powerful and I mean that not just being cheesy 😏😆 I'm really glad anyone that can go through this and get out is my hero ❤ 🙌 💪 really won't be long til I join you ❤ so much love and respect to you my soul friend .
Thank you. It was starting to sound like it was literally people who have other mental disability/illness that’s narcissist when in reality they aren’t
YES!! It’s been 18 months since my ex left. 12 pairs of used windshield wiper blades, old car parts, old broken tools, rags etc. he talked to himself all the time. He would always said “we” and I would have no idea what he was talking about. He was obsessed with 1960’s music! He constantly spread kitchen towels on our counters. Constantly had music or tv on. I was never allowed to clean his dresser off. I had to take pictures of his dresser so I could clean it, putting everything back where it belonged. I could tell when he lied, the corner of his mouth would turn up a little. I could never ask him to do anything. I was being demanding or bossy. He would never do anything if I asked. He wasn’t available when I needed him. After 37 years I had no boundaries, no self respect and no energy. He never finished a project, unless he talked his friends or brother into doing it for him. He stalked me, “showed” up at work. It goes on and on. He is all of this and I thought I was exaggerating. Thank you for this.
Ah the SMIRK! 40 years of the slightly turned corners of their lips in their self-satisfaction of driving me crazy with lies or at my emotional pain! The cruelty is astounding.
I have a narcissist older brother. I have Asperger's and Borderline Personality Disorder. He cleans constantly. Likes to be clean. I'm more carefree so I clean up less. I feel the video here is wrong. Narcissists love to appear as perfect. They tend to be clean. If you want to learn truth...Watch Richard Grannon.
Amazing! This video contains numerous nuanced descriptions of narcissistic behaviors, many of which ring true in my own experience as a target of such mistreatment. To name one, I've always found it odd that every drawer, closet, and cabinet in the house was completely stuffed with the narc's belongings, making it impossible to store any of my own. For the first time, I can see how this and many of the other bizarre behaviors discussed in this video are consistent with narcissistic abuse. What enlightening and empowering material!
This was a HUGE one for me. I was constantly screamed at for my stuff being in the way yet every single drawer, closet, table or counter top was stuffed with their belongings. If I managed to clear a spot to even prepare food and left the kitchen for a moment I’d come back to a dirty glass or plate. My clothes were folded in a pile on a chair because 2 bedrooms were full of clothes I’d never seen them wear.
@@sum1has2 It's bad enough that they're taking up all the space, but being screamed at makes staying there nearly impossible! You may be in physical peril! If possible, safely depart from this toxic-psychopathic individual. In my case, I am compelled to remain, albeit temporarily. As a result, I have gradually reclaimed areas by enforcing boundaries with difficult to defeat locks and locking systems, and sometimes by constantly removing their stuff and putting it where it belongs (I never explain/justify my actions to them). Do not attempt this in your case, as each narcissistic abuse relationship requires a unique approach tailored to the circumstances. My approach helps me, but they are constantly on the lookout for new ways to punish you. Ultimately, leaving is the only option, but take every precaution to ensure your safety.
I'm sitting here in shock on how spot on this video is!! My daughter's father was diagnosed with NPD so I know it pretty well. I was shocked when I found a hoard of junk mail he had stashed, I think he had saved every piece of mail before we met! He was also fired from the job he had while I was pregnant, and instead of talking to me about it, he got up every morning and "left for work," it was almost 2 weeks before I found out from HIS MOTHER!! (who also covered for him) Every time he made a bottle for our daughter he would leave the milk on the counter just like u said!! He was also QB for his high school football team and even though he's 41 he STILL thinks he's gonna be a Chicago Bear!! I can see him fitting in to everything you said here!! Classic textbook, he thinks he's SO special, but he's just your garden variety narcissist
@@NarcissisticAbuseHealing It means SO much to me that u actually read AND commented back!! U have no idea! I watch a lot of these video's because I worry about our daughter and I have never seen one pin a narc down so well! I do believe I'll be subbing now.
Mine was the opposite of a hoarder. He did a lot of the other items listed listed in this video, but he had one of the cleanest houses I have ever been in! Everything had its place and was organized and he hated cutter. Though we did not live together, the few times he did stay at my house he disrespected my things and was a slob, but never in his own home did he act that way. I would venture to say that a lot of narcissists have the opposite of hoarding as well, where they tend to have OCD tendencies about their possessions and the way their homes look.
Id venture to say he wanted the praise for the tidy house. But i'd also suggest he may have had a storage unit, shed,or secret cache of "collections" because all the narcs ive been exposed to have that letting go of stuff problem.
@@MrClarissacain He lived by himself and his shed and garage were kept meticulously in order as well. I think some narcissistic people have to be neat and tidy because the rest of their minds operate in chaos. It's just another form of control for them. I do believe even though they are personality disordered (and operate from the same rule book majority of the time when it comes to emotions) they still have their own personalities just like the rest of us in some regards. Though I will say he had quite the collection of fishing poles but they were all neatly displayed and when he was done with one of them he would list it on eBay or something. Even us "norms" tend to collect things or have collections.
Although there’s no such thing as a blessing in dealing with a narc, I’d preferred the fastidious one. The narc I was married to once went through the outside garbage bin and brought a totally broken coffee machine back into the house because “there may be some use for it someday.” I’d intentionally put it in a bag of used litter box waste and hid it under other bags! I was screamed at for being wasteful for months and it sat in our basement for 20 years before I was able to get rid of it. I must say though that my sister too was married to a clean freak narc that washed their dog’s paws off every time it came back in from the yard, cleaned the crumbs out of the toaster after EVERY use and scrubbed the toilet after defecating. (He’d wait at the door and ASKED!) She was afraid to touch anything, eat or poop in her own home! I once joked she could bring him to my house so he’d have a heart attack 💀
many Survivors of poverty/violence tend to keep messy spaces and hoards out of fear of being unable to replace it if needed. A messy floor, only you can navigate can be safety tool.
Okay one more comment... This video is mind blowing! The very last part about checking if you changed underwear. This exact thing happened. My husband claims I left one day with one pair of underwear and came back with a different pair. I have absolutely NO CLUE what he’s talking about. It caused yet another huge argument in a string of blow ups between us over the last several months. He swore up and down I was doing a bunch of dirt talking to other men, etc. Meanwhile I was just trying to survive the pandemic, recover from COVID myself and raise my kids. I wasn’t even remotely thinking about doing any of the things he claimed I was doing. I decided then that I was DONE. Now I’m in the “hovering” phase with him where he’s claiming he’s the best husband ever and I’m going to want him back. Watching these videos makes me feel like God us talking to me and explaining it all so I don’t keep making the same mistakes trying to “fix” things with him.
Hi. Thank you for sharing. Glad you are free. But yes do watch out for the Hoover and the possible tantrums that may follow if he does not get you back. Please do not believe any promises a narcissist makes about going to therapy and changing. And the fake behavioral changes as it does not last. Once you take them back they get worse and it becomes harder to leave.
Yes, the lying is incredible! I really cannot believe how so many people believe them. To me, the lying that is typically coupled with a good dose of drama is so revealing. If not that, if they really listen to the narc, they will tell the same story, such as the way their father died, but, change the way they died, or the story evolves to something totally different. If 2 & 2 do not add up, Houston, there's a problem on board! Good luck breaking away!
My husband says things, like he’ll tell me something then 5 minutes later he’ll say I told him whatever it was and he’ll actually go back and forth with me claiming I promised him something. Another super weird thing. I have a story I’ve told for years about a situation where I almost got struck by lightening. Ever since I get really anxious when it storms. So one day it was storming and I mentioned how I was uncomfortable because of what happened when I was younger and my husband suddenly chimed in that yes he almost got stuck by lightening when he was a kid too. He then began to tell the exact story I’ve told for years about myself saying it happened to him, with all the same details as my story. I said “huh??? That’s the exact same thing I’ve always said happened to me”. He stopped talking and didn’t finish the story after that…. Talk about confused and creepy. I mean I’ve told the story for years and suddenly the exact same thing “happened to you” and you’ve never mentioned it before 🤔🤔🤔
Hi. Yes they love taking your stories and what you do for work and making it part of their life to make themselves look and sound more interesting. But because they often don’t actually listen or care about you. They often cannot remember who told them the story and may repeat it to you. I have had on occasions I will tell a story at a party and a few minutes later a family members runs up to me and says I gotta tell you what happened to me. Then he proceeds to tell the exact thing I just told other guest minutes before with the narcissist listening to me and me knowing they were there. When you say, that’s my story I just told you it happened to me. They just look at you confused and then walk away 😂
Another thing I found is that they usually EXPECTED me to call them within a certain time frame , so much more often than an average person , and if I went over the time they would act as if something was wrong when I finally called , either by being sarcastic or nonechelant in tone ! The ironic thing is WHY would you ever want to call someone who was acting like this , it makes NO SENCE 🤔😆 All about domination as usual 😣
@Jam abd It depends if your issues were about control , or for other reasons ! A narcissist will always see themselves as superior to the empath , whom they see as a clueless ,or lesser human being . They think they are all knowing and powerful in the relationship and can never do anything wrong , often excusing it with a sense of humour for being bossy and always right , and refuse to listen to any kind of criticism ! I don't know if that helps ?? The fact that you are concerned suggests to me that you are possibly not ! 😜👍🙏🙏
Hi. That is perfectly normal. You know they will break it so you protect it. But you do not go around breaking other people’s stuff. Or I hope not. So it is not the act of hiding that is the problem. It is the reason why. The narcissist knows they will break your stuff and expect you are just as vindictive as them, so hide their stuff. And they are jealous so fear you will not be happy for them as they don’t like others to have things. Their reason for hiding stuff is because they think you are evil like them. Your reason is you know they are evil and protect your stuff.
totally! all of the above. down to the plastic water cup and straw from the coffee place that can't be thrown away because it is special. And the freezer packed with crap that is not even edible like freezer burn bags of strawberries that were too wrotten to eat so the were frozen to store in the freezer. I could go on. They can't close a door behind them. . .and they don't flush the toilet or use the fan to exhaust their poop smell . They are crazy. Total and complete hazards and liabilities in life.
Wow! This has to be the BEST video I have ever seen on the Narcissists behaviors ESPECIALLY the part about talking or singing. Its incessant and sometimes is enough to drive you crazy!!!
@@trippmoore I think you misunderstood me. I didn't mean to stick around and endure the abuse. I more so meant that he should stay strong despite probably being exhausted from the entire experience
Thank you My father was in and out of my room, doing exactly as you discribe . My Mum gave me some valuable coins ,. I put away in my room. I went to get the coins "They were gone". My elder brother who is a mirror of father , stole two Staffordshire Dogs, which were gifted to me by a friend of mother's when I was born, my brother refused to give me back my dogs. I no longer communicate with this brother ,. He so rich , but so imoral. So he has stolen my dogs , they are valuable ,. I've learned the Lesson of Loss and Gain , He hasn't learned . Although he is Older than me . I am glad I am not like our father ,or my brother
Inflexible behavior. Very rigid system of right and wrong. Fixed action patterns. When you say a certain word or phrase, they will reply with a pun or a movie quote, even if it's inappropriate in the context or they have alreasy said it to you a dozen times. Keeping those protective plastic films on electronics such as tv remotes. Refusal to use prosthetic devices when they clearly need them, such as glasses and hearing aids.
every single one of my narc exes had catch phrases they would say without heisitation every freaking time if a specific situation came about or words or phrases came about in conversation naturally, no matter what. Like for example I have arthritis and if I was having pain and I mentioned it, 'my joints hurt' something like that one of them would always say "smoke em if you got em" 😆😆😆 its really funny looking back.
We had a narcissistic living at our apartment complex. She had everyone gas lighted including the Mgr. She was dangerous. She tried gassing me. I had worked in mental hospital and had work her kind before. I only had general with her. She asked probbing questions. I pretended i didn't hearing anything and said have nice day. She brought me gifts. I told her thank you for them. And shut the door. She always me for help. I said I didn't time. She tried for a year and a half too find my buttons. She even called the police quite often including me. The police knew her game and pretty much knew her game. She finally moved about 2 months ago. Her last hour here her worst fears came to frurusion. With most of The tenants as witnesses, I just turned on her like pack rats. She couldn't respond because she didn't know me. The look on her face was pure terror. She was clueless. Check Mate !!!
Obsessive and compulsive behaviours also belong to the condition of OCD, an anxiety driven condition usually seen in people who don't have narcissistic traits.
Hi. Yes. These as I mention in the video do not make you a narcissist. It just seems that many narcissists do do these behaviors. It could be that the underlying cause for the behavior may often co occur with narcissism.
My ex suffered from OCD and it wasn't until we split after 4 years that I realized he was also a narcissist. One of his disturbing habits/obsessions was measuring his penis. He would literally do this several times a day. He carried around a tape measure. He compared his penis size to random objects. It was really unbearable for both of us.
@@janetlaroche9415 As an OCD therapist, I struggle with the concept of a person with narcissistic tendencies also having the condition of OCD. In my experience OCD sufferers are deeply empathic people who can't bear the thought of ever inflicting harm or of acting inappropriately. These traits are polar opposites of the traits of a narcissist, who is incapable of true empathic understanding.
The narc i know hoards "evidence" - voicenotes, chats, other info on his pc .. all retrieved without consent, from mine and others devices. Also borrowed furnishings and small furniture etc from me on a "temp" basis but the minute i want anything of mine back... oh boy
The thing about them having a conversation with you in their head is something that I've always contended that mom would do. My sister and I both agree that our mother is a narcissist, and we often talk about things she's done in the past (and present) as way to deal with the trauma and as something we can bond over even though we each live vert different lives with different priorities. I had no idea that was a narc trait and I'm not sure if it's something I've spoken with her about.There are some many times when my mom has talked with me and it seems like I've missed a big or important part of the conversation. She will talk like she expects me to know something that there is no way I could know about it. She will also tell other people things that she claims I said and then I have to correct her and say I never said that. When she tells other people that I said I would do something for them is the worst, because then I have to say I never said that and it makes me look like I'm lying or going back on my word.
Every time I read the comments all I can think is that there are so many Narssacist in the world. And is amazes me that so many people don't realize they have or had been living with one until after many years. It seems like everyone I know has more than 1 Narssacist in their life. This is terrible because they can never change and they just seem to keep multiplying. SMH😔😞😞
Hi. There is a high percentage of people who are high on the narcissism scale. If you know or have met 100 people you have probably met 10 or so narcissists and 1 or more psychopaths. However. This is a channel for narcissistic abuse victims thus you will find a high concentration of stories and experiences here. It’s like going to a car show and thinking wow there are a lot of people who love cars. The statistics is skewed if you use the numbers you find here and extrapolate it out to the word. There are plenty or healthy people out there who would make a wonderful partner.
Man you got all the scenarios here! Your soooo right. People who don't know these narcs prolly find this vid hard to believe...but its all sooo true yall...exactly how he describes.
Record them. Audio or video. I had to do this to get my mother in law and 2 sister in laws to back off. They know that everytime they're near me, I'm recording them. That's what they get for lying, manipulating and twisting the truth causing a horrible ripple effect.
I had no idea half finished projects was an narc thing!!! I used to think he did that on purpose to keep me from having people over to the house. My old place was seriously nothing but half-done projects
Boy can I relate with everything you mentioned. It’s so frustrating. I can’t keep the house straight because he goes right behind me and messes it up. I’m at my Witt’s end.
@@NarcissisticAbuseHealing yes but when he was working and we were raising our children, the house had to be immaculate or he would take it out on my kids and that would not be pretty. I kept everything in its place just so the kids wouldn’t get in trouble. It kept me on my toes believe me. It’s a good thing I enjoyed cleaning and keeping things nice. Now not so much, because it doesn’t stay that way for two minutes.
I remember my narcex would miss place things and then become obsessed with finding it. It would become such a distraction that we would all end up looking for it with him.
This is an incredibly spot-on description of my Covert Narc Hoarder ex husband. This is the first time I've seen hoarding mentioned as a narc trait. As he got older he also started talking to himself, basically carrying on a conversation. It creeped me out.
Mine was like a snake shedding her skin. Its how they grow and then slither off into the dark looking for their next unsuspecting victim. She had no sentimental value what so ever, she threw things away wholesale, that way she could just start a new. Finally I got thrown away.
Dear Nick, After reading all these comments yours hit me the hardest when you said "Finally I got thrown away" I am so very sorry for you. I am crying as I write this and I don't cry easily. I have been stuck with a narc for many years because of financial issues. Stupid me ever thinking we were friends. Never knew about narcissism before him. I always felt he treated me like yesterdays trash. But know this Nick, It's about them and their mental illness or demonic influence or both and NOT about you. Don't ever let her make you feel bad about yourself. That's their job to "F" with people and walk away. As for me, I'm a Christian and always stood my ground with him. Working on forgiving him for all the abuse he dumped on me. I wish you nothing but the Best! Just know you're not alone in how you feel. Sincerely, Beverly
Hi. Glad you found the video helpful. Going no contact is often the only choice as they don’t want to change. While they care nothing about how they hurt others. Wishing you a wonderful future.
My late narc husband was a cop, found out he checked which way my tire tracks turned out of the driveway each day when I left for work. Having no idea, I would randomly go either way around the block, apparently one way meant I was cheating, the other I was working,,,ooops
The one I know, leaves me outside her door after she opens the front door with the buzzer. Then open it and say I forgot to open the door, yup, her tiktok is more important, she's friendly infront of her partner, and not bothered when he's not. They are greedy liars so boring too.
Many of these behaviors are actions of ADHD like hoarding, not feeling the sugar bowl - this is sad that these videos are going to make everyone think they’re with a narcissist 🙄
I found this channel interesting and subscribed because my SO has narc tendencies but can't say he's a full blown narc but it's a constant battle if whether or not to stay in this relationship. I have to protect myself.
Hi. Thank you for subscribing. Glad you like the channel. A toxic person does not need to be so narcissistic that they can be diagnosed with NPD before they are destructive to your life. Many narcissists do not have all the traits to qualify as having NPD, yet they still ruin people’s lives. If you are wondering if you should stay or go, then why are you still there? What benefit is there in staying that is greater than the harm staying is causing you?
My N grandmother was a hoarder. My N mother talks to herself in the bathroom in front of the mirror, plays the same songs for weeks to months in the car, put some of her clothes and shoes in my room to the point where I can't hang most of my clothes up or use the closet. I can't even close the door to my bedroom because she has clothes hanging from my door! She also had her clothes hanging from the bathroom and pantry door at one point too. N grandmother was the same way. Hardly any of my clothes were in the closet. Only thing she didn't have her clothes hanging in the bathroom, and kitchen. I will be so glad when I get on my feet. I am looking forward to moving out.
This is nuts hearing all these things. Like not putting things away. My husband NEVER puts things away. I literally broke down one day because I was so sick of it and after that I just started leaving the stuff out too and let it spoil. We threw away so much food I notice lately he doesn’t do it anymore. I guess he realized how much money was being thrown away on food because he unloads the whole fridge for no apparent reason and never puts them back.
Hi. From my experience with several narcissists including a sister who does not put food away. They often don’t care about the money. They do it more when you complain and when they see it does not bother you anymore they often do it less or stop. They are 2 year old children and behave as such.
@@NarcissisticAbuseHealing wow that’s interesting. I didn’t realize that the real reason he probably stopped is because I stopped saying anything about it.
The narc I was partnered with at work for over 25 years used to hold his teeth together and do this sort of whistle, especially when he was anxious or nervous or just to fill the silence. Super annoying.
I’ve known two narcissistic ‘men’ who did this annoying whistle also. It’s a dull, high frequency whistle that goes on and on like the story that never ends.
💕JANUARY 25, 2022💕 “LET MY LOVE ENFOLD YOU in the radiance of My Glory. Sit still in the Light of My Presence, and receive My Peace. These quiet moments with Me transcend time, accomplishing far more than you can imagine. Bring Me the sacrifice of your time, and watch to see how abundantly I bless you and your loved ones. Through the intimacy of our relationship, you are being transformed from the inside out. As you keep your focus on Me, I form you into the one I desire you to be. Your part is to yield to My creative work in you, neither resisting it nor trying to speed it up. Enjoy the temp of a God~breathed life by letting Me set the pace. Hold My hand in childlike trust, and the way before you will open up step by step.” (JESUS CALLING)
The ex narcissist that was in my life use to hide my vape pen then he would see me looking for it and not say anything then eventually it would magically appear where i had last left it at... i guess to gaslight me and drive me crazy
It sounds like there is some underlying condition that narcissists have that causes both narcissism (as a coping mechanism) and the common behaviors you listed.
Yes. I would guess not having an internal sense of value with low empathy. So they constantly need outside validation to feel alive, worthy, valuable, and loved. Then with low empathy they will do anything to avoid reality or manipulate everyone and reality to fill the empty hole inside them and get validation.
@@NarcissisticAbuseHealing So can someone be half narcists. Low self-worth but high empathy to the point they can't take themselves out of danger because they worry about other's needs.
@@bunnyboo6295 @Bunny Boo Hi, narcissism is mainly low empathy for others. What you are describing is the opposite end of the spectrum and is called co-dependent. Low confidence, low self-worth, a desire to please others to feel worthy. Will rather go hungry than say no to helping someone. Fear being seen as a horrible person. Often suffers from guilt and shame over trivial things (like worrying that you upset someone because you did not say hello in a nice voice because you were feeling sad).
My relative would do a task and just stop short of finishing it. If painting would leave a small square unpainted. If using a tool would not put it away. Was oblivious to the fact that the tool was sitting out for months. If I tried to clean off a table full of junk he would become angry if I moved something on the table that belonged to them.. Tiled a wall and stopped short of completing a few tiles for months. Paid them to paint a house and never finished it. Left the painting stuff and other junk on the patio for two years. Refused to put the stuff away when asked nicely to put away just ignored me. While staying with me packed up my stuff that was on a shelf to use for his stuff and packed up my stuff in a closest without asking.
Hi. Thank you for sharing. Sorry that you have a mother in law with these traits. A sibling of mine has a mother in law like this. And she constantly tries to break my sibling’s marriage up with lies. Something to guard against with a family member like this.
I'm glad I started to follow your channel because it validated many things I experienced. Sometimes other people try to justify some behaviors if I were to try and tell them about hoarding. I thought hoarding or buying sale items was a result of a scarcity mindset or low income survival mode.
I went through a period of time hoarding empty boxes, after being forced to move cross country and the abuse escalating, when the room was so filled with empty "moving" boxes it was hard to fit anything else, I said wtf I've never hoarded anything before. Trauma. When I worked through the panic dragging them to the curb, for trash day, I had a panic attack watching the worker load them up. I remember the conscious effort it took stopping myself from pulling them out of the garbage truck. Back to being a non hoarder and currently divorcing the abuser. It's a process.
Hi. Thank you for sharing. Sorry you went through the abuse you did. Yes, victims of abuse often take on traits of the abuser or habits that are not natural for them, in order to cope. Glad you managed to let the habit go.
My covert Narcissist mother is a hoarder and compulsive buyer. It is like she has built a image in her mind that she is some rich aristocrat or something and buying things builds upon this image.
I experienced every single point of this with my ex narc bf. Especially I was actually hiding in his apartment to surprise him one day and he was actually having a real conversation with himself!!!!! He was so mad at me for being there he didn't talk to me for a whole week!!!! The over cluttered house was ridiculous also. The constant checking his account as well was noticable!!! Lol He was also very dirty in the kitchen....its true the rotting foodstuff and smelly garbage! Gosh
Hi, thank you for sharing. Sorry you experienced this from your ex. Glad you are free now. I shared a house with someone who was this filthy and it made me paranoid about cleaning stuff, especially in the kitchen as even if they so called washed things you will have to wash it yourself afterward. You would try to dish up and bits of old food and fat was still on the plates or cutlery. The person would just wash it with cold water. And if they did scrub a bit they would just scrub the bottom of a frying pan and not the sides even though it was brown from burned fat. They claimed they don't cook there so do not need to wash there. :-)
The pain it took to convince my mother we could leave a broken recliner behind the Laundromat after doing her laundry. She kept saying "the sign says no dumping allowed and the cameras will catch us doing it." I could sense pain when driving away after I got the chair into the dumpster lol. However, she filled that empty corner of the house with a different useless broken chair she got from a neighbor/friend.
Hi. Thank you for sharing. It can be hard dealing with a person who hoards or does not let go even if they are not a narcissist. If she does not have high narcissistic traits then therapy can help for the hoarding.
The two way conversations and mindless talking is my mother, every day, non stop. I used to think it was funny when she talked to herself like that, until I started listening in. I then took a peek in her little notebooks she keeps all over the place and discovered her little black book of narratives and manipulation tactics. I learned also, that when I heard her talking to herself in the morning, someone was gonna get it that day, usually it was me. You are absolutely spot on. She needs to write this stuff down to keep track of her nonsense and lies.
Oh my goodness! My husband says to me in a joking way “ the thing is gonna get good today”! He kind of sings it like a chime! It’s so creepy because after 25 years I know that when he does this , that day will be horrible for me. He will certainly be abusive in some way through disrespect, creating fights or manipulation. It’s like he’s warning me and then he does it. I’ve started noticing this just a few years ago. It’s so distressing. It’s terrifying when he does this. I think he is now aware that I know and how distressing it is to me and so it’s now the beginning of the abuse for that day.
The "little black book of narratives and manipulation tactics," is wild! My narc sister is a pathological liar. I know she could not keep track of her lies as they became webs, where she would lie on top of lie, etc., until the lie grew into something else. But also, she deflected in an instant where you would say that she had just said something and were responding to what she had just said when she would respond that she didn't say it, that I did! Just batshit crazy!
Hi. It was compiled from a poll that was done with thousands of victims of narcissistic abuse where they reported the strange things the narcissist in their lives did. The behaviors that came up the most formed the basis for the video.
@@NarcissisticAbuseHealing THANK YOU - your reply is very appreciated. I am new to your channel I am a subscriber. And I survive two separate incidents in five years from age 52 to 57 from 2017 to 2021 .. having the unfortunate encounter with two male narcissist. In 2017 this person I we’ll go by Narc 1 - details are complicated but textbook of a triad or at least a borderline psychopath. In which an incident was about grabbing me out of my sleep by my ankles and after that breaking my back - Then cat and mouse torture for about 4 1/2 hours I survived- I was found 30 seconds before desk by the police I also did not know that this person was severely drinking alcohol. And secret. The thing that the whole thing I was obviously not a provoker. I was asleep. That shows you how unpredictable this can be. Now I’ve lived through the aftermath of violent crime I’ve been through 47 broken down the broken neck C3 transposing reversed. My ribs are forever crushed thought they thought , I might not be able to walk which is always on my mind. Rebuilding was an arduous and long journey and it still is. the second Narc , Narc 2 After some revelations of this darker behavior and this man who knew each other growing up in the school both of us need to kind of a place to stay together it was seeming to be a great idea by his own mother. Then she died. And then the hounds of hell started really coming out. Like to eat me for dinner. I have recordings tapes in there also doubles of them in case something ever happens to me. The first narc 1 and i Also I knew his mother , she was my Sunday school teacher a lovely person . Anyways gotta keep this breath but I would like to be in touch with you in the future about some ideas that I’m thinking about for the healing. Narc 2 was pretty aware that I caught on to him without saying anything but,, it’s like reading the full description of a culver narc/alcohol fueled something? And with past military training. There’s definitely many issues but this person , fit to the T -profile. I’m having recording of him of him saying wants to me he thought I was not real I was just in his imagination. I love bombing me and then telling me to go outside and lay down in the road I have a better life and get it by a car. I knew it was time to leave but so did he . In May this year 2021 narc 2 attempted to strangulate me by causing a pressure air and circulation on my throat. Crushed my way box I live through that one and that was unbelievable really horrible even though it’s just it’s like hard to explain I know you know that. And since I had to TBI‘s at its heart and subtract I really felt it was important this time to thank you for that compilation it’s like part of that medical key to unlock red flags. I just like to let you know that this is very helpful information , some day maybe we could correspond by email or something: for privacy. I do believe one of the narcs follows me on RUclips I don’t believe that I know it. It’s kind of like obvious that person has just started a page yesterday and they only looked at things that I did. And I caught him and I called it out on my page of like Tara weekend card people. I said this guy I believe he knows we is I’m not saying anything but this person’s been commenting white and he’s tried to kill me and he still not in jail yet. Incredible soul with Rite to be able to be not just for my Crime Victim which made me more vulnerable. To a really very dangerously lethal statis Sorry for the time of being so long but I need the words out there but also my talk to text is terrible my phone was broken and part of the incident thank God it still works but if the words don’t make sense to skip all of them I needed to get this out in the ether I feel better about that thank you
@@sarahslater3534 hi. So sorry that you experienced all this horrible abuse. Glad that you found the video helpful and that you are healing. If you go to the about page of this channel you will find contact details and a email address. It is okay writing long comments. Let it come out what is eating you up inside.
Depression & grief is part of many different people experiencing LOSS, TRUAMA & NO ONE CARES to sympathize with the kid or TEENAGER. SADDNESS OVERRIDES EMOTIONS. DEEP GRIEF.😰😰😰😰😩😩😠😠😭😖😭🔬🔬
This starts to make me think that many people are mislabeling people as narcissists who are not. Most people who hoard are victims of narc abuse or have suffered some other trauma. A true narc gets rid of something at the drop of a dime especially if the price is right. Also, most true narcs are overly concerned about their appearance and the appearance of their homes. They see it as competition. This doesn’t align with hoarders, where the opposite is true. It’s not fair to label abused people as narcissists because you can’t control their behavior. Makes me wonder who is who.
Don't worry, we've all got a bit of narcissism in us sometimes! It's when you start demanding 'narcissist of the year' awards that we might need to have a chat. 😄
These are incredibly accurate. Mine repeatedly took my things and threw them away while acting as though I lost things all the time when I didn't. He even stole my deceased Grandmother's jewelry & gave it to his new supply.
Hi. Thank you for sharing. Taking your deceased grandmother’s jewelry and giving it to his new supply just shows they have no line they will not cross. And that they don’t value anything or anyone.
My narcissist ex is elderly and does most things on the list. His giant hoard gets more energy and love than his children. He goes white and shakes if anything gets cracked or lost and accuses people of stealing his things and threatens them with prison. He mumbles constantly with imaginary conversations, usually ranting about how he’s right. He fantasizes about ways to get rich quick, like joining scams and sending in applications for Publishers Clearing House. Another weird thing he does is berate telemarketers and demand to speak to their managers, then threaten them with prison sentences.
I thought this was ADHD..my narc ex was diagnosed with ADHD in his childhood. I got tired of picking up dirty towels, dirty laundry, his hoarding of furniture, leaving waste/trash all over the apartament, him accusing me of cheating on him with my supervisor. Then he would ask to borrow money and never finished his projects then blame me for not helping him enough. His narcissistic rage and cycle devaluing/discarding made me feel his shame of ADHD has blown into full blown NPD. I think his shame of ADHD and his father moving turned him into a narcissistic individual overtime. He's 30 years old and now with a daughter He's even worse.
Experienced plenty of these things you're describing on this video in the past with narcissistic family members who have lied too me my whole life. For some reason my past comments on these videos keep disappearing someone is keeping tabs on my comments on their toxic behavior again frickin narcissistic spies watching my shit.
Hi. Thank you for sharing. Having family lie to you is something I can relate it. It sucks. I checked and found 3 comments from you on other videos. They are public.
Has the narcissistic person in your life done any of these? What other strange or weird things did they do?
Refuses to wash his hands after going to the bathroom. Refuses to smoke his pot outside yet tells me how inconsiderate I am if I put vix on my feet. Destroying his stuff instead of giving it to someone who wanted it. Could never keep the time line straight so he could blame someone else’s reaction and the cause of the problem. Search my belongings while I’m at work. His idea of cleaning is to just transfer my objects from room to room and it looks no nicer than where I had it. Everything he does is half ass on purpose and when called out it’s a guilt trip about how I’m never happy. The few times he swept the floor he made 5 piles about the house then left them there til I got home from work I was expected to make a big deal at all the beautiful piles he made. Called paying his share or cleaning his dishes as helping me. Treats me like a teen treats his mother then accuses me of being abusive cuz I don’t want to sleep with him anymore. And the bed kink is over the top and gross. When he did a project he’d make it look worse like pulling down wall paper through out the whole house leave it rough and unpaintable and his job is done then when you complain you told you used him for labor . Original idea was to remove wallpaper smooth and paint one room at a time slowly so the whole house not trashed. They move in with a housing emergency claim they gonna split bills then don’t give a penny and continue to burn through all resources you have. Just finding a clean cloth intended for oil checks is proof I’m screwing men in the back of the truck and “wiping yourself with that rag” I got silent treatment and locked out of my bedroom for 2 weeks.confuses woman’s natural secretions in the underwear as sexual trist evidence. Saving bottles of his urine to splash all over my clothing in my closet . Having my metal mixing bowl with burned paper and a rotten carrot hidden in a room and when I find it and question him he accuses me of being nosey he ruined my mixing bowl burning paper in it. I can’t keep a journal he finds it then misunderstands everything I wrote in it and punishes me for it. Have to stare at full cabinets open and shut everyone then act like they hungry but nothing to eat and huff and puff. Never buys food and acts like the food you buy isn’t good. Blames me for not spending time with him, his idea of spending time is me sitting there watching him play games watch videos that only intrest him, I spent 3 years at work or at home in a chair in the bedroom like his automaton even leaving the room to do chores was a Nono cuz by his standards I take to long, heaven forbid I took a break from cleaning as he came out the room I’d then get accused I was lying about doing chores to play on my phone or cheat on him on Facebook!
Iv had fake conversations with myself before either to help me process to stop ruminating or to pretend I’m telling off my boss because I didn’t in real life 😂 I have a very hard time completing projects usually I run into a problem and takes me along time to figure out my error
Hoarding animals... my ex had 4 dogs, a big bird, 20 expensive spiders, 2 fishtanks... It just made sense after the relationship was over and I got cheated on... NOTHING was ever enough...
I feel you on the pot part, and refused to use an ashtray 🙄
@@joanbaczek2575 Talking out loud help me focus on a thought when there is too much going on in the head. None of the conversations was to praise or create another reality. Its more to better understand something going over facts then trying out to figure what others meant. or were to fix a problem
I worked with severe abused people and they often get stuck on a song or sing to themselves and have full conversations with themselves going over a particular incident and often filling it in with what they wished that had said to the abuser. These same people have a need to hide their valuable things because their abusers might break it or use it to hurt them. Abused people are known to have memory issues. Or lie out of fear of more abuse from the narcissist. People in the medical field see this as symptoms of abuse. Be careful what you think of others without knowing the truth. Some of this is narcissist behavior but a lot of this is also victims ways of dealing with narcissist abuse
👍
I had to hide my stuff from my husband. :(
Wow those were the things I relate to in the vid the talking in a loop over traumatic experience. The person that seems to lead to these was a hoarder and most all the other treats he has a few cars that he claims he going to work on, and it seems he put a ton of money into only for them to have sat or years rusted out.
Yes, but you are taking it out of context. Yes we go over events in our heads and talk to ourselves and say how we wish things would have gone. But the part you left out was that normal people don’t then go out and claim things actually happened how they told themselves it did. We don’t rewrite history and events and then claim that’s how it actually happened. And we don’t talk to ourselves and imagine a conversation with a person and then claim they actually had the conversation with us as we imagined in our heads
And narcissist hide their things because they expect you to break it because they would have broken your stuff. You hide it because you know they break it. Not because you think the narcissist is like you and you go around breaking other people’s things out of hate.
Context and intention is key. Same with giving up as I replied on another comment. It is not the act of giving up. It is the reason they give up. The delusions of grandeur and detachment of reality they had in the beginning. And then giving up to punish people for not falling in with their grand vision as if the world will be sorry if the narcissist does not open their business.
👏👏👏👏👏👏👏❤️Thank you!
The title should include that children who were raised by narcissists do this too. If you see this video, and you’ve been a victim of narcissistic abuse, please don’t doubt yourself and think that you are the narcissist. Especially if you deal with complex PTSD and grief which can mimic the signs of BPD in the unhealed stages of grief and trauma. Also, adrenal fatigue can mimic ADHD when healing from trauma. Give yourself time to heal before getting a label put on you. A lot of behaviors you were around on the daily with a narcissist, can seep into your life when you’re mind is still working on healing and recovering from the abuse and gas lighting. I’m sure this video intends to mean well, but it is lacking critical thinking.
If you watch this video and question if you are a narcissist?, chances are you are not. They would never question themselves for introspection.
ABSOLUTELY! I just responded to someone’s comment on this. Some things on this list can be coping mechanisms when you’re dealing with narc abuse. Took me 40+ years of marriage and years of therapy to realize I wasn’t the crazy one. I at least had 20 years of normalcy to refer back to before I married my narc. I fear for my kids because it’s all they’ve ever known.😔
What you commented is exactly what I thought before half through this video. I also wondered if the author was a c-narc because thats their pattern, just wondering outloud here.
As sad as it is, if you had narcissistic parents, you most likely ARE narcissistic or have narcissistic patterns. Doubting yourself and recognising that your patterns are toxic is how you change your behaviour to avoid hurting others. Blocking the similarities out however, and trying to convince yourself that you're not narcissistic when you do indeed have toxic patterns, is what a narcissist does to avoid responsibility and shame. So yes, doubt and question yourself if you want to be a truly self aware and healthy individual.
Thank you for adding your message. I started listening and thought, wait a minute. We always think that maybe we "are" the narcissist, even though we didn't engage in the craziness throughout our lives and nothing we could possibly do could have changed our narc family members. Your comment is pertinent and valid.
I was the scapegoat in a double narcissistic family (father then sister took over after parents divorce. Sister was hellbent on destroying me. She was one year older. Both of us are female now in our 60's, and she is still at it, and during covid has unfortunately pulled my daughter in. They are so very crafty/devious/malicious/evil for those that don't understand or see or understand it..
I am a Cancer and highly creative (sew and metalsmith--jewelry). I love handmade things and decorate for visual harmony and ascetics, but can go overboard with that. I also love shoes and cloths so I'm packed in. I now am in the process of thinning out my excess clothing...it's a process though. I otherwise have a lot of stuff and am also getting rid of excess there as well. So I can identify with having too much stuff for sure. Not the food or fridge thing though...I cook and am anal about a clean kitchen and cleanup.
Since both narcs are extreme liars, I loath liars, and do not appear to have the other traits. I have struggled with "trauma bonds," and know that I've experienced negative traits due to that. Will be looking into specific psychotherapy for those raised in narc families as I need to live my life fully on my terms. I have walked away from my sister (did that in my teens, but was back and forth since she kept pulling me back in, and I the dutiful sister who felt bad that we weren't close, would mend with her until she would hit me over the head again), brother (who she sucked in and who does not have a backbone to stand up to her or our father, and who "happily and dutifully" does bidding for both without independently thinking and responding to them accordingly), and also my father as well, who is in his 80's. He was helpful to me for many years, but found out later that he was undermining and maligning (and triangulating with my family members about me) me behind my back (as well as to my face!).
Sorry, this is long! I know many of us have a "story to tell." Thank you again for acknowledging that scapegoats can also share similar narc traits. God bless you and everyone else that is or has been affected by a narc.
Thank you for pointing that out I have ... Well I found this out under hypnosis that my anxiety disorders that were so severe I need to be medicated when I was 7 started out when I was like 4 from something I regarded as abandonment... And then my mom pretty much would just abandon me I me I remember having her make up et cetera so... Between that and my 88th G that's killer occurring and they honestly just agitate each other. There are when you read them off the list some things from BBD that is EPD that sounds like they would apply to me but when they are explaining further they don't.. When I was 13 14 15 my mom would always go to the psychiatrist with psychiatrist with me and I must have tried like 6 or 8 different meds for that and they would just make me feel like I wanted to die and I was stuck in my skin it was the worst feeling in the world... Didn't understand now clearly now I can understand that well well with anxiety I have LOW gaBA a activity/ low Serotonin & w Adhd low Norophrenine & dopamine...
So many of these were also used for very serious things like schizophrenia as he has a running expression brain is overflowing and all of these so it won't make all of those lower.
That explains it but it's like wtf whyn per nephron and dopamine
Also depression and ADD or Ptsd people often start things and not finished not lazy, but have been stripped of their self worth and confidence after abuse
Hi. Yes. But they do not have the delusions of grandeur that the narcissist has. Narcissists are removed from reality. Such as expecting they will make millions from selling scarfs they knit at home, while they cannot even finish one in a year. Or expecting to make a business selling cupcakes and paying their bills after they resigned while they have never baked a thing in their life and thinking they will make millions in a month so go out and blow all their cash. It’s not the act of giving up. It’s the delusions of grand success they had in the beginning and the detachment from reality. And often they give up to punish people for not wanting to buy from them. As if people are going to be sorry if the narcissist does not sell their perfect product and will then come rushing to the narcissist and begging the narcissist to reopen their business.
It's interesting... I've known many people who have had trauma of somkind, yet they were not a narrissist. I do recognize many of the similar characters of people with these traits.
@@cindihunter9119 when you have been on the inside for too long you learn. How to survive. You learn them better than anyone. You hurt each time you you can't hurt another like that but when it's your only way out you guilt yourself to death. You start to use their tactics to protect the innocent
@@RolandPihlakas hi. The title says strange things narcissists do. And in the beginning I state that not all do it. These are not defining traits of narcissism and the video never states that if someone does any of these they are a narcissist.
Omg TY for that...im 60...im just so done with constantly being dragged by narcs...it MUST be me...im sitting here today I can't get anything done but feed my cats & give em clean water & do boxes & once again they save my life just bc I can't betray them like that.
I have no one I feel like it must be me I can't find a therapist up here tho.
Sometimes I get what I've heard called 'adhd paralysis' and I just can't function.
But im not gross or anything...just hurt and sooooo confused.
It's like I have to start all over again every time.
God help me.
My husband is now in a nursing home; however I'm now in charge of cleaning up his hoarding mess in the garage (to the ceiling and plastered against the walls) The number of duplicate products, unfinished projects, unopened tools and hidden things he has lost for years confirms his level of insanity. I've had a few months to myself and I feel re-born as I shed the overbearing responsibility of his caretaking. People who never lived with him, do not understand, yet nobody seems to be reaching out to help. Imagine that. He was ready to sell the house and give me my share unless I could keep him here. So very selfish and unrealistic.. I'm stuck because yes, he is dying, but it's what it is supposed to be- for now. . I have learned a great deal about myself, letting go of the resentment and accepting the process. Great video. Obviously resonated with me. Thank you for letting me rant.
Me too.
Best of luck to you.
Yeah, it’s definitely about letting go and accepting the process. Thank you so much for sharing!…best of luck to you 💚
I hope you have peace now and after he is gone.
Peace be with you sister.
I've cleaned out his garage once...same as you described...had to do it alone while chronically ill...it was a forced move out of an apartment...the whole place was a mess and hoard. I threw out a ton as I was doing this alone...moved into a house and finally separated and moved out...the house is now filling up and nothing has a right spot it just goes wherever...glad I'm not in that chaos.
Extreme narcissists are borderline crazy bc of the way they think and it's all delusional😪
Exactly! They are crazy
When my narc tries to say crazy stuff at me...I shake my head and tell her "your delusional 🤪" strait up!
Example: Bart Sibel, who somehow manages to magically convince himself that his world was created as a result of a bubble forming out of nowhere.
It's weird when you realize you were raised by one and nobody told you
My mom used to start singing after she would hurt me or gaslight me into getting upset. Her house is filthy now, her little dogs pee and poop all over her house. I won’t go there anymore. She used totaled her purse to the bathroom whenever she went and lock her room. I would have never taken anything from it. She would take my stuff when I was growing up even the phone she would hide. Wow, so many more She is just crazy and I’m finally wrapping my head around all the abuse she put me through at 40
You got me with one. I have noticed this with the narcissists in my life. I personally believe part of it is taking control of all the available space.
Yes! My narcissistic hub waved his long arms around so that I had to keep baking away so as not to get my eye poked.
Interesting viewpoint. My own opinion is that surrounding themselves with sooo much stuff is a further form of external validation.
This is absolutely spot on. My narcissist mother was:
A hoarder: her flat was packed. She insisted that she was just "very sentimental" about everything (including bus tickets, yoghurt pots, catalogues, and broken appliances).
Talked to herself constantly: including winding herself up before an argument (ranting) so that by the time she had confronted me with the accusation, she had already 'won' the argument.
Rewrote history: she once poked me in the face during an argument and when I immediately asked her why she'd done that, she accused me of being the one who had hit her (I hadn't even got out of my seat).
Assume that I knew people I'd never met (forgetting I'm a separate person).
Didn't complete projects: bought lots of cloth to make things but never got started, collected recipe cards but never cooked anything at all in her life
Unexpected clinginess: not interested in me when I was there, but when I went away on school holiday, she 'phoned and wrote to me (maybe she was playing to the audience).
Excellent video!
Hi. Thank you for sharing. Glad you found the video helpful.
So crazy isn’t it 🤷♂️
This is how my Smother is too. She concocts the most outlandish stories, and I can picture her in my head, having these conversations with herself. She's stalked me all my life, and I keep my location secret from her now. Big hug for you Rapunzel. It is extremely sad to have never really had a 'mother.' It's like a constant mourning for something SO important, that we will never have.
Yeah they start playing you as there puppet day one you just figure out alot later that you dealing with a narcissist
He is a hoarder !! my husband is a real peach i get the silent treatment gas lite etc
This is a tough video to get thru, there is a point where what was narcissism just turns into crazy. My mother was like this, to a degree she was like this all her life, but about 40 and older she just started sliding down this hill and never slowed down. Not living in the truth does this to you.
Yes… without connection to truth (which requires facts and also inner truth introspection) the moral compass is totally broken. It’s the reaction of a little child who lies… I’ve even explained it to my mom but she just doesn’t get it… they love control… IMO it’s complete attested development bc of abuse. They cause so much pain though and the great mystery is how some people don’t have this reaction… I myself was raised in great abuse and I went the other way… my sister has no correlation to truth either… for me it’s the most important thing ever… truth and love. The best I can think is that as a child, I thought I want to always BE good (which means through introspection and learning I can and have evolved) whereas people w big disorders like this, they think I AM good… they are “perfect” and anything less they can’t entertain… so they pop up a false reality that correlates with that. After all, if they are good, then everything they do and think and say and believe must automatically be good… any challenge to that threatens their very sense of self… and in this paradigm they have the choices only of total denial of reality and reframing and projection or self-Destruction if they were to admit any error. Sometimes I think it’s literally this tiny distinction in perspective that sets a life long path of a false reality/broken moral compass. So glad I had that thought as a kid. I wanted to BE good versus thought I AM good. 💜 it’s painful my Mom is older and it’s only getting worse too
yes exactly! Living and believing their own lies over time causes them to lose touch with reality! Makes you wonder how many people who are older and mentally ill were raging narcs in their younger years.
Well put when you say that not living in truth makes people crazy and I can see this so clear in my ex and in my aging dad who both a narcissist. Aging narcissist are something crazy to be around or talk to the denile is sickly. I can't stand being around them, for days after my spirit feels angry and shaken. I find it maddening they think they can act in these manners and get away with it. The ego is running them and they don't care who they hurt or how. God bless.
Another box ticked. I thought hording was a separate issue but it fits in perfectly. "She" always made excuses for buying things a mostly were never needed. Nothing thrown away just in case it was needed.
Narcissists are wasteful....
TRUE!
It is interesting. When I started reading and watching videos about narcissist I saw almost every bizarre thing he did listed as a trait. Hoarding included, like you I just thought these were all separate issues.
Hiya Peter- I studied behaviour & I ve found that fragile narcissism is sometimes comorbid with OCPD traits and disorder; which is where this senseless to us hoarding comes from if it's serious.
All of this is spot on. He’s a hoarder but talks about how messy other people are as though he’s a neat freak.
The narc i know is both a neat freak and a hoarder. He overstuffs his bedroom with furniture, and electronics, DON'T U DARE PUT DOWN YOUR SLIPPERS. His car is immaculate and professionally cleaned in and out weekly...you must smooth the seat belt the right way or he'd prefer you don't use it. Now he has storage units stuff full of stuff, and his condo storage room is full to overflowing with kitchen things...2 of every measuring jug available, etc in a jumble. It's bizarre.
@@joywebster2678 Yeah, to the public he’s like that,everything perfect. It amazes me how much alike all of these narcs are.
Same, perfect acting and looking in public, but our house was unlivable with clutter, all his crap. Took 4 uhaul trucks for him to move out.
@@danielleking8920 It’s amazing how these narcs are all alike. We had a pretty tight knit workplace. One day someone posed the question,”what would surprise us about you?” I said I’m very neat and tidy and my husband is extremely messy. They believed me because we were a close knit group but admitted that it was very hard to believe.
@@dyoung2739 I believe you. If you were like me you were probably embarrassed by the condition of your living space. I know I was. It's another way they isolate us. My ex husband literally told me, I know the mess (hoard) bothers you and I DONT CARE! He then went on to blame me and gaslight me for his mess. Looking back, I'm ashamed I put up with so much and stayed so long. He was also, a habitual cheater, liarm the best at everything in his head, and horrible with money. D Young, I hope you have escaped my friend!
Be careful listening to this list, reality manny of these issues are a result of narcissistic abuse , an individual will need to sort this out within. recovery is understanding multiple aspects of who you are as a person, what happened in your life. Accountability for what is yours in the end. Along with understanding what happened , there is physical, chemical healing in the mind, thought change, personal spiritual healing, understanding of human nature along with the recovery. Society in its self is highly narcissistic. Each person will have their journey of recovery. You have value , self respect and worth.
Thanks for saying this. I found myself doing a few of the things on this list just TRYING to appease the narc I was married to for decades. You try to anticipate the hell that’ll be rained down on you if you “fail” them. (Checking the bank balance for fear of a 1 cent mistake, buying 5 ketchup so it’s never out again, asking if they loved me because it was never again said or shown literally the day after the wedding, singing random song lyrics that bolstered my sagging esteem) It took 40 years and secretly going to counseling to finally say THEY were the one with the problem. Someone early on in narc abuse may see this list as validation of the narc’s gaslighting. The fact the term narcissist is being thrown out everywhere these days attests to the double edged sword these videos can be.
@@sum1has2 I'm sorry you've been through this , I hope you are in a better place now I really do 💕 they are soul sucking demons and feed off our light .
@@kellls71 Thank you, I am doing better. Still a work in progress but will never be used again. It’s better that people are aware of this now; when I was young this was never even heard of or discussed. I’m going to enjoy what life I have left my way.💜
@@sum1has2 you are strong and powerful and I mean that not just being cheesy 😏😆 I'm really glad anyone that can go through this and get out is my hero ❤ 🙌 💪 really won't be long til I join you ❤ so much love and respect to you my soul friend .
Thank you. It was starting to sound like it was literally people who have other mental disability/illness that’s narcissist when in reality they aren’t
YES!! It’s been 18 months since my ex left. 12 pairs of used windshield wiper blades, old car parts, old broken tools, rags etc. he talked to himself all the time. He would always said “we” and I would have no idea what he was talking about. He was obsessed with 1960’s music! He constantly spread kitchen towels on our counters. Constantly had music or tv on. I was never allowed to clean his dresser off. I had to take pictures of his dresser so I could clean it, putting everything back where it belonged. I could tell when he lied, the corner of his mouth would turn up a little. I could never ask him to do anything. I was being demanding or bossy. He would never do anything if I asked. He wasn’t available when I needed him. After 37 years I had no boundaries, no self respect and no energy. He never finished a project, unless he talked his friends or brother into doing it for him. He stalked me, “showed” up at work. It goes on and on. He is all of this and I thought I was exaggerating. Thank you for this.
Sounds like ADHD
@@reginaldbowls7180 at least.
It's not healthy to be in any type of relationship with these people. They will drain you dry. Good thing he is an ex. Go on and live your life.
Ah the SMIRK! 40 years of the slightly turned corners of their lips in their self-satisfaction of driving me crazy with lies or at my emotional pain! The cruelty is astounding.
@@sum1has2 yes! God, I would call him out on it! Denial plus!
OMG THIS IS MY LIFE. MY NARC HUSBAND DOES NOT CLEAN UP AT ALL. HE LEAVES EVERYTHING OUT FOR ME TO CLEAN AND IF I DON'T HE YELLS AT ME.
Where in the divorce proceedings are you?
Literally my boyfriend do this I refused to be around him
I have a narcissist older brother. I have Asperger's and Borderline Personality Disorder. He cleans constantly. Likes to be clean. I'm more carefree so I clean up less. I feel the video here is wrong. Narcissists love to appear as perfect. They tend to be clean. If you want to learn truth...Watch Richard Grannon.
That's most men don't mean he's a nark
This is my life.
My ex did almost all of these from time to time! This is the first time I have heard someone put all of these together and it’s extremely validating!
💯 Agreed!
Amazing! This video contains numerous nuanced descriptions of narcissistic behaviors, many of which ring true in my own experience as a target of such mistreatment. To name one, I've always found it odd that every drawer, closet, and cabinet in the house was completely stuffed with the narc's belongings, making it impossible to store any of my own. For the first time, I can see how this and many of the other bizarre behaviors discussed in this video are consistent with narcissistic abuse. What enlightening and empowering material!
Hi. Glad you found the video helpful.
This was a HUGE one for me. I was constantly screamed at for my stuff being in the way yet every single drawer, closet, table or counter top was stuffed with their belongings. If I managed to clear a spot to even prepare food and left the kitchen for a moment I’d come back to a dirty glass or plate. My clothes were folded in a pile on a chair because 2 bedrooms were full of clothes I’d never seen them wear.
@@sum1has2 It's bad enough that they're taking up all the space, but being screamed at makes staying there nearly impossible! You may be in physical peril!
If possible, safely depart from this toxic-psychopathic individual. In my case, I am compelled to remain, albeit temporarily.
As a result, I have gradually reclaimed areas by enforcing boundaries with difficult to defeat locks and locking systems, and sometimes by constantly removing their stuff and putting it where it belongs (I never explain/justify my actions to them).
Do not attempt this in your case, as each narcissistic abuse relationship requires a unique approach tailored to the circumstances.
My approach helps me, but they are constantly on the lookout for new ways to punish you. Ultimately, leaving is the only option, but take every precaution to ensure your safety.
@@jolly7728 : Thanks! The locks are a great idea.
I'm sitting here in shock on how spot on this video is!! My daughter's father was diagnosed with NPD so I know it pretty well. I was shocked when I found a hoard of junk mail he had stashed, I think he had saved every piece of mail before we met! He was also fired from the job he had while I was pregnant, and instead of talking to me about it, he got up every morning and "left for work," it was almost 2 weeks before I found out from HIS MOTHER!! (who also covered for him) Every time he made a bottle for our daughter he would leave the milk on the counter just like u said!! He was also QB for his high school football team and even though he's 41 he STILL thinks he's gonna be a Chicago Bear!! I can see him fitting in to everything you said here!! Classic textbook, he thinks he's SO special, but he's just your garden variety narcissist
Hi. Thank you for sharing. Jup, narcissists think they are unique and special. But they are just like the next narcissist.
@@NarcissisticAbuseHealing It means SO much to me that u actually read AND commented back!! U have no idea! I watch a lot of these video's because I worry about our daughter and I have never seen one pin a narc down so well! I do believe I'll be subbing now.
@@ameliashostak4764 thank you
Mine was the opposite of a hoarder. He did a lot of the other items listed listed in this video, but he had one of the cleanest houses I have ever been in! Everything had its place and was organized and he hated cutter. Though we did not live together, the few times he did stay at my house he disrespected my things and was a slob, but never in his own home did he act that way. I would venture to say that a lot of narcissists have the opposite of hoarding as well, where they tend to have OCD tendencies about their possessions and the way their homes look.
Id venture to say he wanted the praise for the tidy house. But i'd also suggest he may have had a storage unit, shed,or secret cache of "collections" because all the narcs ive been exposed to have that letting go of stuff problem.
@@MrClarissacain He lived by himself and his shed and garage were kept meticulously in order as well. I think some narcissistic people have to be neat and tidy because the rest of their minds operate in chaos. It's just another form of control for them. I do believe even though they are personality disordered (and operate from the same rule book majority of the time when it comes to emotions) they still have their own personalities just like the rest of us in some regards. Though I will say he had quite the collection of fishing poles but they were all neatly displayed and when he was done with one of them he would list it on eBay or something. Even us "norms" tend to collect things or have collections.
It's funny that you say this bc my narc also excessively throws things away (including other peoples). Its like he values nothing
Although there’s no such thing as a blessing in dealing with a narc, I’d preferred the fastidious one. The narc I was married to once went through the outside garbage bin and brought a totally broken coffee machine back into the house because “there may be some use for it someday.” I’d intentionally put it in a bag of used litter box waste and hid it under other bags! I was screamed at for being wasteful for months and it sat in our basement for 20 years before I was able to get rid of it. I must say though that my sister too was married to a clean freak narc that washed their dog’s paws off every time it came back in from the yard, cleaned the crumbs out of the toaster after EVERY use and scrubbed the toilet after defecating. (He’d wait at the door and ASKED!) She was afraid to touch anything, eat or poop in her own home! I once joked she could bring him to my house so he’d have a heart attack 💀
Yes I had that kind of narcissist.
many Survivors of poverty/violence tend to keep messy spaces and hoards out of fear of being unable to replace it if needed. A messy floor, only you can navigate can be safety tool.
I think hoarding is a form of control and abuse as well. Their crap (newspapers, trash, food containers, boxes) are more important than you are.
Okay one more comment... This video is mind blowing! The very last part about checking if you changed underwear. This exact thing happened. My husband claims I left one day with one pair of underwear and came back with a different pair. I have absolutely NO CLUE what he’s talking about. It caused yet another huge argument in a string of blow ups between us over the last several months. He swore up and down I was doing a bunch of dirt talking to other men, etc. Meanwhile I was just trying to survive the pandemic, recover from COVID myself and raise my kids. I wasn’t even remotely thinking about doing any of the things he claimed I was doing. I decided then that I was DONE. Now I’m in the “hovering” phase with him where he’s claiming he’s the best husband ever and I’m going to want him back. Watching these videos makes me feel like God us talking to me and explaining it all so I don’t keep making the same mistakes trying to “fix” things with him.
Hi. Thank you for sharing. Glad you are free. But yes do watch out for the Hoover and the possible tantrums that may follow if he does not get you back. Please do not believe any promises a narcissist makes about going to therapy and changing. And the fake behavioral changes as it does not last. Once you take them back they get worse and it becomes harder to leave.
I'm so so thankful that I got rid of my narcissist before plandemic!!! I would have felt locked in he'll without a key! My heart hears you!
Yes, the lying is incredible! I really cannot believe how so many people believe them. To me, the lying that is typically coupled with a good dose of drama is so revealing. If not that, if they really listen to the narc, they will tell the same story, such as the way their father died, but, change the way they died, or the story evolves to something totally different. If 2 & 2 do not add up, Houston, there's a problem on board! Good luck breaking away!
My husband says things, like he’ll tell me something then 5 minutes later he’ll say I told him whatever it was and he’ll actually go back and forth with me claiming I promised him something.
Another super weird thing. I have a story I’ve told for years about a situation where I almost got struck by lightening. Ever since I get really anxious when it storms. So one day it was storming and I mentioned how I was uncomfortable because of what happened when I was younger and my husband suddenly chimed in that yes he almost got stuck by lightening when he was a kid too. He then began to tell the exact story I’ve told for years about myself saying it happened to him, with all the same details as my story. I said “huh??? That’s the exact same thing I’ve always said happened to me”. He stopped talking and didn’t finish the story after that…. Talk about confused and creepy. I mean I’ve told the story for years and suddenly the exact same thing “happened to you” and you’ve never mentioned it before 🤔🤔🤔
Hi. Yes they love taking your stories and what you do for work and making it part of their life to make themselves look and sound more interesting. But because they often don’t actually listen or care about you. They often cannot remember who told them the story and may repeat it to you. I have had on occasions I will tell a story at a party and a few minutes later a family members runs up to me and says I gotta tell you what happened to me. Then he proceeds to tell the exact thing I just told other guest minutes before with the narcissist listening to me and me knowing they were there. When you say, that’s my story I just told you it happened to me. They just look at you confused and then walk away 😂
They literally dont know the difference between "me" and "you". So freaky!
My narc has done the same thing. I tell a story for years and suddenly he's telling the story but claims it happened to him. WHAT IS THAT ALL ABOUT??
Another thing I found is that they usually EXPECTED me to call them within a certain time frame , so much more often than an average person , and if I went over the time they would act as if something was wrong when I finally called , either by being sarcastic or nonechelant in tone ! The ironic thing is WHY would you ever want to call someone who was acting like this , it makes NO SENCE 🤔😆 All about domination as usual 😣
@Jam abd It depends if your issues were about control , or for other reasons ! A narcissist will always see themselves as superior to the empath , whom they see as a clueless ,or lesser human being . They think they are all knowing and powerful in the relationship and can never do anything wrong , often excusing it with a sense of humour for being bossy and always right , and refuse to listen to any kind of criticism ! I don't know if that helps ?? The fact that you are concerned suggests to me that you are possibly not ! 😜👍🙏🙏
Yes, they love to hoard their stuff but want to throw everything of yours away.
I hide stuff from my narcissist because she does break things!
Hi. That is perfectly normal. You know they will break it so you protect it. But you do not go around breaking other people’s stuff. Or I hope not. So it is not the act of hiding that is the problem. It is the reason why. The narcissist knows they will break your stuff and expect you are just as vindictive as them, so hide their stuff. And they are jealous so fear you will not be happy for them as they don’t like others to have things. Their reason for hiding stuff is because they think you are evil like them. Your reason is you know they are evil and protect your stuff.
totally! all of the above. down to the plastic water cup and straw from the coffee place that can't be thrown away because it is special. And the freezer packed with crap that is not even edible like freezer burn bags of strawberries that were too wrotten to eat so the were frozen to store in the freezer. I could go on. They can't close a door behind them. . .and they don't flush the toilet or use the fan to exhaust their poop smell . They are crazy. Total and complete hazards and liabilities in life.
Yes, mine had very gross/weird bathroom habits.
Wow! This has to be the BEST video I have ever seen on the Narcissists behaviors ESPECIALLY the part about talking or singing. Its incessant and sometimes is enough to drive you crazy!!!
Yep this explains it. My gf is a narcissist. 90% of these apply and she's turning my hair gray.
Stay strong
@@alishashinn1441 I disagree. Get out now. Run, run, and don'r look back.
@@trippmoore I think you misunderstood me. I didn't mean to stick around and endure the abuse. I more so meant that he should stay strong despite probably being exhausted from the entire experience
Run like a bat out of hell!!!
@@alishashinn1441 it is pretty exhausting but we share rent on a house so I need to put $$ away and get my own place and bounce.
EXCELLENT CONTENT!!!!👍👍👍
Thank you.
Thank you
My father was in and out of my room, doing exactly as you discribe .
My Mum gave me some valuable coins ,. I put away in my room.
I went to get the coins "They were gone". My elder brother who is a mirror of father , stole two Staffordshire Dogs, which were gifted to me by a friend of mother's when I was born, my brother refused to give me back my dogs.
I no longer communicate with this brother ,. He so rich , but so imoral.
So he has stolen my dogs , they are valuable ,. I've learned the Lesson of Loss and Gain , He hasn't learned .
Although he is Older than me .
I am glad I am not like our father ,or my brother
Inflexible behavior. Very rigid system of right and wrong.
Fixed action patterns. When you say a certain word or phrase, they will reply with a pun or a movie quote, even if it's inappropriate in the context or they have alreasy said it to you a dozen times.
Keeping those protective plastic films on electronics such as tv remotes.
Refusal to use prosthetic devices when they clearly need them, such as glasses and hearing aids.
every single one of my narc exes had catch phrases they would say without heisitation every freaking time if a specific situation came about or words or phrases came about in conversation naturally, no matter what. Like for example I have arthritis and if I was having pain and I mentioned it, 'my joints hurt' something like that one of them would always say "smoke em if you got em" 😆😆😆 its really funny looking back.
Yes. Freakin plastic coverings on tv remotes. What the hell???
YES!!! Nailed it!
Those could also be signs of being on the Autism spectrum.
We had a narcissistic living at our apartment complex. She had everyone gas lighted including the Mgr. She was dangerous. She tried gassing me. I had worked in mental hospital and had work her kind before. I only had general with her. She asked probbing questions. I pretended i didn't hearing anything and said have nice day. She brought me gifts. I told her thank you for them. And shut the door. She always me for help. I said I didn't time. She tried for a year and a half too find my buttons. She even called the police quite often including me. The police knew her game and pretty much knew her game. She finally moved about 2 months ago. Her last hour here her worst fears came to frurusion. With most of The tenants as witnesses, I just turned on her like pack rats. She couldn't respond because she didn't know me. The look on her face was pure terror. She was clueless. Check Mate
!!!
Obsessive and compulsive behaviours also belong to the condition of OCD, an anxiety driven condition usually seen in people who don't have narcissistic traits.
Hi. Yes. These as I mention in the video do not make you a narcissist. It just seems that many narcissists do do these behaviors. It could be that the underlying cause for the behavior may often co occur with narcissism.
My ex suffered from OCD and it wasn't until we split after 4 years that I realized he was also a narcissist.
One of his disturbing habits/obsessions was measuring his penis. He would literally do this several times a day. He carried around a tape measure. He compared his penis size to random objects. It was really unbearable for both of us.
@@janetlaroche9415 As an OCD therapist, I struggle with the concept of a person with narcissistic tendencies also having the condition of OCD. In my experience OCD sufferers are deeply empathic people who can't bear the thought of ever inflicting harm or of acting inappropriately. These traits are polar opposites of the traits of a narcissist, who is incapable of true empathic understanding.
@@janetlaroche9415 hi. Thank you for sharing. It sure is a strange habit.
The narc i know hoards "evidence" - voicenotes, chats, other info on his pc .. all retrieved without consent, from mine and others devices. Also borrowed furnishings and small furniture etc from me on a "temp" basis but the minute i want anything of mine back... oh boy
The thing about them having a conversation with you in their head is something that I've always contended that mom would do. My sister and I both agree that our mother is a narcissist, and we often talk about things she's done in the past (and present) as way to deal with the trauma and as something we can bond over even though we each live vert different lives with different priorities. I had no idea that was a narc trait and I'm not sure if it's something I've spoken with her about.There are some many times when my mom has talked with me and it seems like I've missed a big or important part of the conversation. She will talk like she expects me to know something that there is no way I could know about it. She will also tell other people things that she claims I said and then I have to correct her and say I never said that. When she tells other people that I said I would do something for them is the worst, because then I have to say I never said that and it makes me look like I'm lying or going back on my word.
That last one has got to be the worst!
This is a true video to the core. Thank you for sharing your video it's educational and informative. 😮
You’re welcome. Glad you found the video informative. Wishing you a wonderful day.
You've just described someone very close to me and I am so shocked. I just thought they were crazy😁. Well I guess narcissist are crazy....
Every time I read the comments all I can think is that there are so many Narssacist in the world. And is amazes me that so many people don't realize they have or had been living with one until after many years. It seems like everyone I know has more than 1 Narssacist in their life. This is terrible because they can never change and they just seem to keep multiplying. SMH😔😞😞
Hi. There is a high percentage of people who are high on the narcissism scale. If you know or have met 100 people you have probably met 10 or so narcissists and 1 or more psychopaths. However. This is a channel for narcissistic abuse victims thus you will find a high concentration of stories and experiences here. It’s like going to a car show and thinking wow there are a lot of people who love cars. The statistics is skewed if you use the numbers you find here and extrapolate it out to the word. There are plenty or healthy people out there who would make a wonderful partner.
they are demons, I hate them!
thanks..
Man you got all the scenarios here! Your soooo right. People who don't know these narcs prolly find this vid hard to believe...but its all sooo true yall...exactly how he describes.
Yes!!! I thought hoarding was another one of his issues
Record them. Audio or video. I had to do this to get my mother in law and 2 sister in laws to back off. They know that everytime they're near me, I'm recording them. That's what they get for lying, manipulating and twisting the truth causing a horrible ripple effect.
I had no idea half finished projects was an narc thing!!! I used to think he did that on purpose to keep me from having people over to the house. My old place was seriously nothing but half-done projects
Hi. It is possible that he did it just to mess with you if he knew it irritated you. Narcissists will go far to mess with people.
Boy can I relate with everything you mentioned. It’s so frustrating. I can’t keep the house straight because he goes right behind me and messes it up. I’m at my Witt’s end.
Hi. Yes, it’s like they want to live in filth. If you don’t clean, they will just leave things to get worse and worse.
@@NarcissisticAbuseHealing yes but when he was working and we were raising our children, the house had to be immaculate or he would take it out on my kids and that would not be pretty. I kept everything in its place just so the kids wouldn’t get in trouble. It kept me on my toes believe me. It’s a good thing I enjoyed cleaning and keeping things nice. Now not so much, because it doesn’t stay that way for two minutes.
Love your videos, thank you for the info.
Thank you.
I remember my narcex would miss place things and then become obsessed with finding it. It would become such a distraction that we would all end up looking for it with him.
This is an incredibly spot-on description of my Covert Narc Hoarder ex husband. This is the first time I've seen hoarding mentioned as a narc trait. As he got older he also started talking to himself, basically carrying on a conversation. It creeped me out.
Mine was like a snake shedding her skin. Its how they grow and then slither off into the dark looking for their next unsuspecting victim. She had no sentimental value what so ever, she threw things away wholesale, that way she could just start a new. Finally I got thrown away.
Dear Nick,
After reading all these comments yours hit me the hardest when you said "Finally I got thrown away" I am so very sorry for you. I am crying as I write this and I don't cry easily.
I have been stuck with a narc for many years because of financial issues. Stupid me ever thinking we were friends.
Never knew about narcissism before
him. I always felt he treated me like yesterdays trash. But know this Nick,
It's about them and their mental illness or demonic influence or both and NOT about you. Don't ever let her make you feel bad about yourself. That's their job
to "F" with people and walk away.
As for me, I'm a Christian and always stood my ground with him. Working on forgiving him for all the abuse he dumped on me. I wish you nothing but the Best! Just know you're not alone in how you feel.
Sincerely,
Beverly
When living together or at work a narcissist like to move or throw your items awaay because your stuff is making a mess, but not theirs.
omg, you described my ex to a T. You have so much knowledge. Thank you for this excellent presentation.
Left with by going no contact.
Hi. Glad you found the video helpful. Going no contact is often the only choice as they don’t want to change. While they care nothing about how they hurt others. Wishing you a wonderful future.
Parts are about right but wanting validation from ur partner is not narcissistic
Well this explains a lot!
Thank you for your work.
You're welcome
Well, every they do is strange , they are just not human.
WOW! CRAXZY! EX NARC’ DID ALL! OF THESE!! I HAD NO CLUE!! 🤯😱 SmH, Thank You 4 This Video! 🙏🏽🥺
Your welcome
Yessss
Wow. Speechless. Thank you.
You’re welcome.
My ex narc always sings stupid songs over and over. TV is always on loud. He cant handle quiet. Constant noise.
My late narc husband was a cop, found out he checked which way my tire tracks turned out of the driveway each day when I left for work. Having no idea, I would randomly go either way around the block, apparently one way meant I was cheating, the other I was working,,,ooops
The one I know, leaves me outside her door after she opens the front door with the buzzer. Then open it and say I forgot to open the door, yup, her tiktok is more important, she's friendly infront of her partner, and not bothered when he's not. They are greedy liars so boring too.
Many of these behaviors are actions of ADHD like hoarding, not feeling the sugar bowl - this is sad that these videos are going to make everyone think they’re with a narcissist 🙄
Well done!! He has listed multiple traits associated with trauma but not necessarily narcissism. Rather focus on the interpersonal stuff.
Do one on the "flying monkees" please.
Hi. I did. Here is a link to it. What Are Flying Monkeys?
ruclips.net/video/SsiZyNoNfic/видео.html
I found this channel interesting and subscribed because my SO has narc tendencies but can't say he's a full blown narc but it's a constant battle if whether or not to stay in this relationship. I have to protect myself.
Hi. Thank you for subscribing. Glad you like the channel. A toxic person does not need to be so narcissistic that they can be diagnosed with NPD before they are destructive to your life. Many narcissists do not have all the traits to qualify as having NPD, yet they still ruin people’s lives. If you are wondering if you should stay or go, then why are you still there? What benefit is there in staying that is greater than the harm staying is causing you?
My N grandmother was a hoarder.
My N mother talks to herself in the bathroom in front of the mirror, plays the same songs for weeks to months in the car, put some of her clothes and shoes in my room to the point where I can't hang most of my clothes up or use the closet. I can't even close the door to my bedroom because she has clothes hanging from my door! She also had her clothes hanging from the bathroom and pantry door at one point too. N grandmother was the same way. Hardly any of my clothes were in the closet. Only thing she didn't have her clothes hanging in the bathroom, and kitchen. I will be so glad when I get on my feet. I am looking forward to moving out.
This is nuts hearing all these things. Like not putting things away. My husband NEVER puts things away. I literally broke down one day because I was so sick of it and after that I just started leaving the stuff out too and let it spoil. We threw away so much food I notice lately he doesn’t do it anymore. I guess he realized how much money was being thrown away on food because he unloads the whole fridge for no apparent reason and never puts them back.
Hi. From my experience with several narcissists including a sister who does not put food away. They often don’t care about the money. They do it more when you complain and when they see it does not bother you anymore they often do it less or stop. They are 2 year old children and behave as such.
@@NarcissisticAbuseHealing wow that’s interesting. I didn’t realize that the real reason he probably stopped is because I stopped saying anything about it.
The narc I was partnered with at work for over 25 years used to hold his teeth together and do this sort of whistle, especially when he was anxious or nervous or just to fill the silence. Super annoying.
I’ve known two narcissistic ‘men’ who did this annoying whistle also. It’s a dull, high frequency whistle that goes on and on like the story that never ends.
@@nasreenbari2765 YES. So well put!
💕JANUARY 25, 2022💕
“LET MY LOVE ENFOLD YOU in the radiance of My Glory. Sit still in the Light of My Presence, and receive My Peace. These quiet moments with Me transcend time, accomplishing far more than you can imagine. Bring Me the sacrifice of your time, and watch to see how abundantly I bless you and your loved ones. Through the intimacy of our relationship, you are being transformed from the inside out. As you keep your focus on Me, I form you into the one I desire you to be. Your part is to yield to My creative work in you, neither resisting it nor trying to speed it up. Enjoy the temp of a God~breathed life by letting Me set the pace. Hold My hand in childlike trust, and the way before you will open up step by step.” (JESUS CALLING)
The ex narcissist that was in my life use to hide my vape pen then he would see me looking for it and not say anything then eventually it would magically appear where i had last left it at... i guess to gaslight me and drive me crazy
Mine hid my keys.
I'd probably not finish projects if I was around someone constantly telling me I can't do something or criticizing my idea.
It sounds like there is some underlying condition that narcissists have that causes both narcissism (as a coping mechanism) and the common behaviors you listed.
Yes. I would guess not having an internal sense of value with low empathy. So they constantly need outside validation to feel alive, worthy, valuable, and loved. Then with low empathy they will do anything to avoid reality or manipulate everyone and reality to fill the empty hole inside them and get validation.
@@NarcissisticAbuseHealing So can someone be half narcists. Low self-worth but high empathy to the point they can't take themselves out of danger because they worry about other's needs.
@@bunnyboo6295 @Bunny Boo Hi, narcissism is mainly low empathy for others. What you are describing is the opposite end of the spectrum and is called co-dependent. Low confidence, low self-worth, a desire to please others to feel worthy. Will rather go hungry than say no to helping someone. Fear being seen as a horrible person. Often suffers from guilt and shame over trivial things (like worrying that you upset someone because you did not say hello in a nice voice because you were feeling sad).
This is so spot on about the nonstop talking in a car....i cant drive when they are in my car chattering nonstop
My relative would do a task and just stop short of finishing it. If painting would leave a small square unpainted. If using a tool would not put it away. Was oblivious to the fact that the tool was sitting out for months. If I tried to clean off a table full of junk he would become angry if I moved something on the table that belonged to them.. Tiled a wall and stopped short of completing a few tiles for months. Paid them to paint a house and never finished it. Left the painting stuff and other junk on the patio for two years. Refused to put the stuff away when asked nicely to put away just ignored me. While staying with me packed up my stuff that was on a shelf to use for his stuff and packed up my stuff in a closest without asking.
This is EXACTLY my mother in law!!! EXACTLY
Hi. Thank you for sharing. Sorry that you have a mother in law with these traits. A sibling of mine has a mother in law like this. And she constantly tries to break my sibling’s marriage up with lies. Something to guard against with a family member like this.
Describes my ex-husband perfectly. Thank you for this.
I'm glad I started to follow your channel because it validated many things I experienced. Sometimes other people try to justify some behaviors if I were to try and tell them about hoarding. I thought hoarding or buying sale items was a result of a scarcity mindset or low income survival mode.
I went through a period of time hoarding empty boxes, after being forced to move cross country and the abuse escalating, when the room was so filled with empty "moving" boxes it was hard to fit anything else, I said wtf I've never hoarded anything before. Trauma. When I worked through the panic dragging them to the curb, for trash day, I had a panic attack watching the worker load them up. I remember the conscious effort it took stopping myself from pulling them out of the garbage truck. Back to being a non hoarder and currently divorcing the abuser. It's a process.
Hi. Thank you for sharing. Sorry you went through the abuse you did. Yes, victims of abuse often take on traits of the abuser or habits that are not natural for them, in order to cope. Glad you managed to let the habit go.
My brother & foster father carried these behaviors to an extreme.
My covert Narcissist mother is a hoarder and compulsive buyer. It is like she has built a image in her mind that she is some rich aristocrat or something and buying things builds upon this image.
I experienced every single point of this with my ex narc bf. Especially I was actually hiding in his apartment to surprise him one day and he was actually having a real conversation with himself!!!!! He was so mad at me for being there he didn't talk to me for a whole week!!!! The over cluttered house was ridiculous also. The constant checking his account as well was noticable!!! Lol He was also very dirty in the kitchen....its true the rotting foodstuff and smelly garbage! Gosh
Hi, thank you for sharing. Sorry you experienced this from your ex. Glad you are free now. I shared a house with someone who was this filthy and it made me paranoid about cleaning stuff, especially in the kitchen as even if they so called washed things you will have to wash it yourself afterward. You would try to dish up and bits of old food and fat was still on the plates or cutlery. The person would just wash it with cold water. And if they did scrub a bit they would just scrub the bottom of a frying pan and not the sides even though it was brown from burned fat. They claimed they don't cook there so do not need to wash there. :-)
The original narcissus also talked to his own image, as well as the wicked queen in snow white.
The pain it took to convince my mother we could leave a broken recliner behind the Laundromat after doing her laundry. She kept saying "the sign says no dumping allowed and the cameras will catch us doing it." I could sense pain when driving away after I got the chair into the dumpster lol. However, she filled that empty corner of the house with a different useless broken chair she got from a neighbor/friend.
Hi. Thank you for sharing. It can be hard dealing with a person who hoards or does not let go even if they are not a narcissist. If she does not have high narcissistic traits then therapy can help for the hoarding.
Lol ok i had to see this do some of em jump in the Laundry?
😂 well yes if your favorite t-shirt is still in there.
The two way conversations and mindless talking is my mother, every day, non stop. I used to think it was funny when she talked to herself like that, until I started listening in. I then took a peek in her little notebooks she keeps all over the place and discovered her little black book of narratives and manipulation tactics. I learned also, that when I heard her talking to herself in the morning, someone was gonna get it that day, usually it was me. You are absolutely spot on. She needs to write this stuff down to keep track of her nonsense and lies.
Oh my goodness! My husband says to me in a joking way “ the thing is gonna get good today”! He kind of sings it like a chime! It’s so creepy because after 25 years I know that when he does this , that day will be horrible for me. He will certainly be abusive in some way through disrespect, creating fights or manipulation. It’s like he’s warning me and then he does it. I’ve started noticing this just a few years ago. It’s so distressing. It’s terrifying when he does this. I think he is now aware that I know and how distressing it is to me and so it’s now the beginning of the abuse for that day.
@@PaperKitty99 I'm so sorry, you don't deserve that 😡
The "little black book of narratives and manipulation tactics," is wild! My narc sister is a pathological liar. I know she could not keep track of her lies as they became webs, where she would lie on top of lie, etc., until the lie grew into something else. But also, she deflected in an instant where you would say that she had just said something and were responding to what she had just said when she would respond that she didn't say it, that I did! Just batshit crazy!
LuAnn Wilton, DeMars, Logan, Barton, Mix, this is YOU!
Wow - how did you compile this list ?
Incredible tool to see
Red Flags - thank you
Hi. It was compiled from a poll that was done with thousands of victims of narcissistic abuse where they reported the strange things the narcissist in their lives did. The behaviors that came up the most formed the basis for the video.
@@NarcissisticAbuseHealing THANK YOU - your reply is very appreciated. I am new to your channel I am a subscriber. And I survive two separate incidents in five years from age 52 to 57 from 2017 to 2021 .. having the unfortunate encounter with two male narcissist. In 2017 this person I we’ll go by Narc 1 - details are complicated but textbook of a triad or at least a borderline psychopath. In which an incident was about grabbing me out of my sleep by my ankles and after that breaking my back - Then
cat and mouse torture for about 4 1/2 hours
I survived-
I was found 30 seconds before desk by the police I also did not know that this person was severely drinking alcohol. And secret. The thing that the whole thing I was obviously not a provoker. I was asleep. That shows you how unpredictable this can be. Now I’ve lived through the aftermath of violent crime I’ve been through 47 broken down the broken neck C3 transposing reversed. My ribs are forever crushed thought they thought , I might not be able to walk which is always on my mind.
Rebuilding was an arduous and long journey and it still is. the second Narc , Narc 2
After some revelations of this darker behavior and this man who knew each other growing up in the school both of us need to kind of a place to stay together it was seeming to be a great idea by his own mother. Then she died. And then the hounds of hell started really coming out. Like to eat me for dinner. I have recordings tapes in there also doubles of them in case something ever happens to me. The first narc 1 and i Also I knew his mother , she was my Sunday school teacher a lovely person .
Anyways gotta keep this breath but I would like to be in touch with you in the future about some ideas that I’m thinking about for the healing. Narc 2 was pretty aware that I caught on to him without saying anything but,, it’s like reading the full description of a culver narc/alcohol fueled something? And with past military training. There’s definitely many issues but this person , fit to the T -profile. I’m having recording of him of him saying wants to me he thought I was not real I was just in his imagination. I love bombing me and then telling me to go outside and lay down in the road I have a better life and get it by a car. I knew it was time to leave but so did he . In May this year 2021 narc 2 attempted to strangulate me by causing a pressure air and circulation on my throat. Crushed my way box I live through that one and that was unbelievable really horrible even though it’s just it’s like hard to explain I know you know that. And since I had to TBI‘s at its heart and subtract I really felt it was important this time to thank you for that compilation it’s like part of that medical key to unlock red flags. I just like to let you know that this is very helpful information , some day maybe we could correspond by email or something: for privacy. I do believe one of the narcs follows me on RUclips I don’t believe that I know it. It’s kind of like obvious that person has just started a page yesterday and they only looked at things that I did. And I caught him and I called it out on my page of like Tara weekend card people. I said this guy I believe he knows we is I’m not saying anything but this person’s been commenting white and he’s tried to kill me and he still not in jail yet. Incredible soul with Rite to be able to be not just for my Crime Victim which made me more vulnerable. To a really very dangerously lethal statis
Sorry for the time of being so long but I need the words out there but also my talk to text is terrible my phone was broken and part of the incident thank God it still works but if the words don’t make sense to skip all of them I needed to get this out in the ether I feel better about that thank you
@@sarahslater3534 hi. So sorry that you experienced all this horrible abuse. Glad that you found the video helpful and that you are healing. If you go to the about page of this channel you will find contact details and a email address. It is okay writing long comments. Let it come out what is eating you up inside.
Good information
Thank you.
Depression & grief is part of many different people experiencing LOSS, TRUAMA & NO ONE CARES to sympathize with the kid or TEENAGER. SADDNESS OVERRIDES EMOTIONS. DEEP GRIEF.😰😰😰😰😩😩😠😠😭😖😭🔬🔬
My mother. Every single one.
The narc will sing along to love songs to themselves.
This starts to make me think that many people are mislabeling people as narcissists who are not. Most people who hoard are victims of narc abuse or have suffered some other trauma. A true narc gets rid of something at the drop of a dime especially if the price is right.
Also, most true narcs are overly concerned about their appearance and the appearance of their homes. They see it as competition. This doesn’t align with hoarders, where the opposite is true. It’s not fair to label abused people as narcissists because you can’t control their behavior. Makes me wonder who is who.
Theyre hoarders too yup. Memories, items, people etc
Ahh, well. I must be a narcissist.
Don't worry, we've all got a bit of narcissism in us sometimes! It's when you start demanding 'narcissist of the year' awards that we might need to have a chat. 😄
These are incredibly accurate. Mine repeatedly took my things and threw them away while acting as though I lost things all the time when I didn't. He even stole my deceased Grandmother's jewelry & gave it to his new supply.
Hi. Thank you for sharing. Taking your deceased grandmother’s jewelry and giving it to his new supply just shows they have no line they will not cross. And that they don’t value anything or anyone.
holy cow i’ve been driven insane
This is unbelievable.
My narcissist ex is elderly and does most things on the list. His giant hoard gets more energy and love than his children. He goes white and shakes if anything gets cracked or lost and accuses people of stealing his things and threatens them with prison. He mumbles constantly with imaginary conversations, usually ranting about how he’s right. He fantasizes about ways to get rich quick, like joining scams and sending in applications for Publishers Clearing House. Another weird thing he does is berate telemarketers and demand to speak to their managers, then threaten them with prison sentences.
Hi. Thank you for sharing. Your ex sounds very abusive. Glad you are free now.
OMG. He sure did talk to himself and was and is a hoarder. Spot the fuc* on!!!!
I thought this was ADHD..my narc ex was diagnosed with ADHD in his childhood. I got tired of picking up dirty towels, dirty laundry, his hoarding of furniture, leaving waste/trash all over the apartament, him accusing me of cheating on him with my supervisor. Then he would ask to borrow money and never finished his projects then blame me for not helping him enough. His narcissistic rage and cycle devaluing/discarding made me feel his shame of ADHD has blown into full blown NPD. I think his shame of ADHD and his father moving turned him into a narcissistic individual overtime. He's 30 years old and now with a daughter He's even worse.
A lot of these are ADHD symptoms
Experienced plenty of these things you're describing on this video in the past with narcissistic family members who have lied too me my whole life. For some reason my past comments on these videos keep disappearing someone is keeping tabs on my comments on their toxic behavior again frickin narcissistic spies watching my shit.
Hi. Thank you for sharing. Having family lie to you is something I can relate it. It sucks. I checked and found 3 comments from you on other videos. They are public.
@@NarcissisticAbuseHealing Thanks
Thank you
You’re welcome.