A man doesn't come back because he loves you! No ladies. A man comes back because he can!! A man will never leave the woman he loves! And if a woman leaves a man and he doesn't fight for her. It means he doesn't want her or his ego is too big! I learned this from Mr, Gaskins! Be blessed Sir!!
I’m like this, once that guy touches another woman “I DO NOT WANT HIM BACK” because there is no telling what type of personalities (spirits) this man has accumulated after he initiated the breakup.
Facts on mutha f-cking facts. Leave the trash bag out. I have one crying and blowing up my phone right now , changed my number 2 days ago. Don't take no man back that left 💯 ✌🏾
The change begins with us ladies. You teach a man how to treat you based on the things you enable and tolerate 🤝 If they disappear out of your life, let them remain a ghost ✌🏾
Ladies I know it hurts so badly knowing he doesn't see you as the woman he really wants and as the only option. But remember this, the woman he really wants is the opposite of you. So if you're a good woman that says no, and has standards and values...then he looking for an okie dokey dumb girl. So let him have her. The trash belongs in the dumpster. Know you're worth more and are of aa higher quality. His loss, 4 ever!
precisely! its a test to see if u dumb enuf to take him back. making u dumber bc u didn't learn the lesson: never ever take him & if u do, its bc he was doing $omething significant and extraordinary like; paying all of your expensive bills, mortgage, new car, exotic travel, huge monthly allowance; aka unless he greatly benefits u financially. never take him back🤦♀️🙅♂️
The last and only time a man has asked me for a break. I said "sure, I understand. Take as much time as you need"... And he never heard from me again. He tried to re-add me on all social media accounts within a month and got blocked on those as well. If you're talking to me about a break. We're broken up PERIOD. Between work, college, family, and friends I don't have time to single handedly support a relationship he doesn't even want.
@@princessdiana2737 Good on you! The way I view it, I'm not a coat rack that guys can hang their raggedy excuses on. We as women don't have to settle for their games. We can keep our minds and hearts fullfilled outside of toxic relationships so that when a healthy relationship comes along, we are in a healthy place to enjoy it.
@@ericah.3906 exactly!! He didn’t think, I would ever block him. A friend of mine, said he was retweeting on social media on how much he missed me, well on the first strike your out dude. I’m not putting up with it
@@princessdiana2737 Thats the alarming part for me! Like he didn't act a fool out of ignorance. It wasn't an accident it was arrogance and the belief that I was stupid. He knew what he wanted but he decided to waste my time and play with my emotions in the hopes that I was too vulnerable to keep living my life without him! It sounds like you've encountered that same kind of lowlife.
This message really hit a nerve and brought tears to my eyes. Simply because a man will only do what you allow. It doesn't matter how good of a person you are, or how much love you have to give. It means nothing if you're not valued. It's important to know your worth and stand in it.
I've come to understand, that as women, we are much more complicated beings compared to men, it can be hard to accept this simplicity regarding men that Tony shares. But it really is what he is sharing. We will dissect , breakdown, dismantle ourselves trying to figure out what we did wrong....but it ain't you ALL the time Sis!!! LOL...most of the time, they just want to do what they want to do. However, our power comes from the ability to chose not to deal with it. YOU DO HAVE THAT POWER....don't relinquish it.
And some times they tell us straight up to our face what we’re dealing with. The ex used to say “I’m a n*gga and n*ggas are gonna do what they do” If only I had listened.
I found this to be very true. I wasted alot of time going back and forth over the years. Thanks to you Tony my cut off game is vicious now and I remain off my bike.
I WILL NOT LET A TOXIC PERSON BACK IN MY LIFE.... I RATHER BE LONELY RATHER THAN BE WITH SOMEONE WHO REALLY JUST DOESN'T TREAT ME LIKE SH''T. IM GONNA KEEP MOVING FORWARD.
I'm hoping that writing this will help some ladies through their own break ups. 1. When a break up or a break occurs, I focus entirely on myself and I don't pay any attention to the guy. I don't call. I don't text. Nothing. 2. When he returns from a break up, I let him see how I've upgraded and I let him know what my upgraded expectations are of him. If he can't meet those, then I slowly start pulling away. 3. If he begins pulling away, I let him know we're on a break. Again, no texting, no calling, nothing. I'm focusing on upgrading myself. 4. When he returns from that, I don't give any energy. Oh, you miss me. Okay. If he calls, I don't answer. I'm not in the mood to talk. The next day, I may or may not send my last message on how it's not going to work between us, and then I keep it moving. I don't remember how many months it's been since my last one, but I'm still moving. Haven't reached out. Nothing. It's done. He had to learn my truths the hard way. Especially since he didn't believe there is a Queen here. Take back your power. No matter what a guy thinks, says, or does, that's on him. And it doesn't have to be your story.
Any man that leaves you doesn’t deserve to have you. My soon to be ex husband pulled this crap over an over leaving my alone with 7 children, including when his mom was dying in the hospital. Straight trash! Ladies learn how to love yourself so you don’t accept men who do these types of things.
Tbh... sometimes I need a Tony Gaskins break. Not because I don’t like him or his videos but because he speaks the truth - and as y’all know: Truth hurts.
Yeah, you not lying the truth hurts, but trust me it will set you free! You will have to be a fool to go around with your eyes closed and accepting red flags after taking in tg's knowledge.
@@linahernandez6913 tell me about it, I feel the same way, I’m like this truth is too much, so I take breaks too because I start to feel bad because I’m like I should have known better and it’s too much, but I just pivot to working on my 3 B’s and watch his small business Saturday playlist so I can focus on improving myself and how I can make myself better this go around
My ex became my ex 35 days ago. As of last week he has been calling "just to say hi". The thing is this, I have no intentions of getting back with him. I was sad 30 days ago when we first broke up and he moved out. Now i feel free proud of my decision and relieved. I remember the disrespect; the coming in at 8am with no explanation; the name calling. That keeps me focused on myself. Next time he calls, I've decided to not answer the phone. On second thought..I've deleted his number.
They come back because there option did not work out. The grass was concrete and it does not work out. KEEP IT MOVING DO NOT LOOK BACK. You are number 1 NEVER number 2. 🌹
OUCH!!! Mr. Gaskins, you be giving us the BUSINESS, about males. This is hard to hear but it is necessary. Thank you for continuing to allow GOD TO USE YOU. I hope we remember what you have taught us, when we are faced with certain situations. Application is so KEY. However, we tend to not apply what we have been taught. Those letters/emails, you received are proof, some of us are not listening and or applying what you are teaching! It is hard out here for the LADIES 😩😩😩😩😩
My situation was no4 and we were married. Couldn't handle or have recieved this information 2 years ago but now I can digest this and learn and never go through this again. Divorce is painful, so many disappointments and questions that will never be answered by him. Closure comes from knowing the Lord. Thanks Tony
I understand. We tend to want closure. But he actually explained everything with his actions, so there's not much to be said. I have definitely been through that before.
A man comes only back because he sees you as convenient placeholder to use up until he finds the woman that he REALLY wants. If YOU were the woman he really wanted, his 1st choice, he would have never left you in the first place! But he risked losing you cuz he had a better opportunity in sight. Only now, that his actual 1st choice didn't work out, he comes back to you, his 2nd (or even only 3rd, 4th,..10th) choice! Keep that in mind!
The upgrade sent him back after she realize he’s not compatible with her. Some times the upgrade is out his league and he can’t maintain what comes with being with her. So he goes back to what’s familiar and accepts any and every thing
@TiffanyB TV omg this literally happened to me in November. The guy went back to his ex and his words were precisely "I'm going back to her cus she's familiar." It hurt my heart and hurt my feelings but I absolutely stepped aside and let him go. Now he trying to be friends with me...
So True! That’s what my ex is experiencing ! However I put him out, he wanted to come back, I let him a month, he wasn’t up to my standards... gone about your business...! Now he craving me .. that soultie tearing him up! He’s out of here! I don’t care he’s over there , there.. Dead!.
I get it men be taking the easy route out. They wanna have their cake and eat it too. I just find it so crazy how most em never ever have their sh*t together when they approach you to date you. They don’t be mature with a good mindset or character. I just find it sad how men can’t just do right because they want to and is suppose to do right in life.
I believe that in my past relationship we hit the World's "on and off" record. About 9 years, on and off about 100 times. I'm not joking. Tony literally saved my life with these videos.
You know what my problem is? Even though i would have gone ghost, blocked or whatever...i still feel jaded/rejected. I KNOW the person is a loser and i can do sooo much better, but i still hate that the person i blocked for treating me badly did not treat me well in the first place! Ugh!
Never ever take him back. Once you know that he has issues, acts immature ( grown boy status at 40 something, like mine was ) I left him, I moved it on. I have a career in the navy and a purpose in life that I won’t stand for nonsense.
This video literally drained me because it’s 💯% true and VERY frustrating 😱 almost to the point where you question “ Is there even still a point in getting married”? 🤦🏾♀️🤦🏾♀️
@@mymakersdaughter6041 awwww I understand. I'm 34 so obviously, I don't if my encouragement helps as much, but I truly do understand the frustration. I'll be keeping you in my prayers. 💖
Tony, you ain’t never lied! Your wisdom is extremely thought provoking, which must motion action in us and is relayed in a way that is easily understood. Thanks again!
As I've heard Tony say, your standing still. I had a relationship 6 years on and off. When we seemed to get closer he would leave me. I thought it was the Christian thing to do to keep forgiving him. Thank you Tony for telling me how men work. Otherwise this last time it wouldn't have been mutual. He finally has left me alone it's been 5 years.
My ex did this! He reached out a few weeks ago after we'd been broken up for 2 years...I ended it because I found out he was dealing with another woman maybe more. He came back talking bout he still likes me and wants to see if I'm still "making sense" indirectly. I was like so you want to get back with me because the last girl u was with didn't work out huh.. He got so upset and offended that I dared to say that lol. He thought that I was desperate after the fact...he was mistaken. To top it off he's much older and I've learned from Tony that I need to be with someone in my age group. God bless you Mr. Gaskins!!!
Even this maybe the truth and give us some clarity and understanding.doesn’t change the fact of that it leaves you feeling like you are not good enough, and makes you question everything about yourself.healing is so weird
I'm guilty. Tony is absolutely right about it being "a state of man". I had to mature. I had to grow up. I'm still learning, but the point is that I'm way more accountable for my actions than I ever was. Golden video bro. Keep em coming!
Ten minutes was perfect! Thank you! Sometimes...Not all the time, though...I lack time-or I lack patience when I’m having an anxiety ridden day to listen for one hour or more. In the artworld...less is more! God bless you, our Tony! ♥️🙏🏼♥️
Bless ya Tony. Aussie gal hearing U load and clear. Praise God he left after even telling me life was a game to him and demanding to come back, when I said no he turned even worse saying I ain't no Christian keeping him away and wanting a divorde. I actually believe he is possessed and Father God is protecting me and my children from him. Please pray for us. Bless U all. Thanku so much☀️🥰
They come back because no other sound minded woman will accept their lost ass! They have not much to offer yet demanding faithfulness & perfection from good women!! Boy bye.👋🏾
I was literally just wishing for a video from you, brother, on a topic of mine , and here is our heavenly FATHER, delivering! I haven't watched it yet, but I KNOW it's a heavenly gift. Thank you! May HE continue giving you blessings and growing you and expanding you! Greetings from Bulgaria!
So boom let’s counter the bullshit. You gotta be Ruthless. When a man tries to break up with you by causing arguments, disrespecting you, cheating, manipulating you, making you feel confused by loving you one moment and hurting you the next, and all of the other games and tactics that leads to a break up. When the break up is happening, whether it’s you leaving him cause of his doing/ games or him leaving you. Agree with it ! Yes, Tell him you agree and that you do need a break. Then leave him for Good. Forever ! Go out and date other men and let him see you moving on! Literally act like he is not there anymore and MOVE ON, when he comes back you should have moved on so much that he is No longer your type. Tell him in the process of moving on you met men that are honest, respectful, non- manipulative and provide you with everything that he did not! And that you cannot downgrade back to him again. When he hits you with the I thought we both agreed to take a break and come back to each other nonsense. Tell him the break help you to realize you need a man that is consistent and is man enough to deal with the relationship issues honestly instead of one that lies, leaves cheats and comes back after to benefit from you would be regretful feelings and desperation. Literally Tell him you’ve meet better Men than him! Go out and meet the Man of your dreams become the woman you need to become to attract what you truly want and desire. Heal yourself from anything that caused you to vibrate on such low level that you attracted you ex in the first place. Force him to settle and be with the woman he taught was better for him than you. Force yourself to be with a man that is good to you, kind to you, and is more qualified for you than HIM. Yes encourage him to leave you and move on with the next woman. Do not call him or communicate with him about anything unless you have children and must co- parent. Other than that if there’s a death he’s experiencing, he’s sick, he wants to talk, and holidays or celebration. You are not there to talk to or comfort him in anyway! You are silent through this all! He’ll try to call you heartless and claim you never loved him. or You’ll feel weak and want to give in , but Don’t! Tell him yeah I DO love myself more than I will ever love you! Admit it to him and yourself! Tell him you love yourself so much that you cannot love someone who doesn’t match the high quality love you have for yourself. Let him leave, allow him to leave, encourage him to leave. Block and delete, and literally never speak to him again. Never Go back to him! Or Allow him to return to you. In that moment he will or will not realize thar his mind game on you did not work! Either way you are now more likely to attract the better man for you! The less time you waste with the wrong man the more time you have with the right man. He’s treating you like your reusable and disposable, So You gotta dispose him completely! Stop caring about him, fantasying, replaying and regretting Especially if this is Not the first time you two broke up, and if it is , this behavior I suggested will help you either way.
He wasn't and isn't worth the second plus chances he got....plus now that I watch these videos....I've learned what I did not know...and I can do better and deserve a great love
Tony, the first 4 minutes you described my off and on 3 year relationship with my ex. I left at the end because I finally realized he no longer loved me. He tells everyone that I left him this time and make himself look like the victim. He is definitely a grown boy. He always knew I was his ride or die but not this time. I’m done!!
I have to share this revelation, You know I use to be so ashamed and embarrassed when listening to Tony at times because of all the mistakes I’ve made BUT I just realized it was a rebuke so I can change and do better, so instead of internalizing my guilt, I’m grateful that we have Tony here to tell us the cold hard truth, & this is only making me better and into the woman I’m suppose to become, as Tony mentioned before he’s raising a lot of other men’s daughters through these videos raising AND saving I might add, although Tony doesn’t say anything rude or in a disrespectful tone or anything like that, I had to realize, wait a minute “The Lord disciplines the one He loves” (Hebrews 12:6) so would I rather have someone tell me the truth or sugar coat a lie, although I haven’t watched the video yet I just had to get that off my chest lol, it’s like Tony’s doing the work of The Lord outside of the pulpit because even most modern day churches don’t talk about the stuff he speaks on and of course people perish for a lack of knowledge so thank you Tony for showing up and providing us with new knowledge, I’m listening 👂
Guys like this are SICK. Idk how you can do something so cold and evil and think it's completely okay! My most recent ex when I left, thought he could do the same thing. I broke up with him and someone he had already talked to behind my back earlier in our relationship, he went and started talking to her again. Later when he asked for me back I found out it was because she didn't want him LOL. She was someone who always put him in the friend zone and he thought he could come back to me. NOPE! Please do not EVER allow a man to come back. Guys always know what they're doing and why they're doing it. When they show you who they are, believe it and move on! Edit: Also, I love how uplifting and positive the comments always are under his videos. Such a wonderful community!❤
I am glad you are going back over these lessons, for all the new women coming over, too your channel. I unselfishly move over too, help another woman heal and find answers.
Tony, I just discovered you two days ago and I've been steady watching your videos and learning so much new info! Thank you! 🙏🏽 Also, I block and delete all of my EXs from social media and my phone. There's zero communication, they can't contact me. I'm not perfect, but at least I know enough that if a guy thinks he's slick enough to try to play me or ghost me - in my eyes, that is The End. There's no coming back to me. There's no communication or contact. There's no going back and forth. Funny thing is, before I understood why men/women go back to their EXs, I wondered why that doesn't happen to me. Then I remembered that I cut men off 😄
Definitely hit the nail on the head. My bd did this same stuff to me and then married the “friend he knew before me”....should’ve seen the red flags. Oh well wish him and sis all the best because shes in for one hell of a ride...
He pushed you away but he knows "he can come back" until YOU, friend zone him to hell. Say NO thank you to everything. And just put him on a wait list, at the bottom of your wait list. This is a cycle, the only way to stop it gracefully, is to be kind, friend zone him or BLOCK him if he keeps bothering you and you get closer to God. F what he wants. Go on and do what you want! If he comes back again, he will have competition from all the other good men you have met.
This guy left me for 9years, married with 3kids and recently he wants me back, been out of my mind when he told me because deep down I know I still love him. Thanks for sharing
I trusted a comeback he begged me back said he would change then when he got me back months later he felt jolted and changed and twisted things saying I did him wrong and now he acting petty and mean. I should of stayed were I was problem free
Sounds like you have a narcissist google the word to see if he match the list and utube narcs don't change they get worse blame shift, gaslight, devalue, discard
hello Tony its a very real ideo talk and much apreciated ..thats crazy how it's like u talking about my ex who keeps coming back using new phone numbers and just selling me dreams and talks and talks i gave him like 3 chances in the past and he never change he kept doing same mistakes over over again and now he is back the 4rth time claiming to be in love even more and more after he has seen other women that didnt work out for him and he keeps telling me what i wish from him he will do anything and that he wana live for me and get old with me and bla bla bla and i feel stronger and powerful not blieving his shit anymore .. he knows i became a challenge and he keeps coming back so i blocked deleted him to teach him a lesson that he cant have it his ways..
![I.N "HALLUCINATION" | [Stray Kids : SKZ-PLAYER]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/n5B5q1Hwt_U/mqdefault.jpg)
A man doesn't come back because he loves you! No ladies. A man comes back because he can!! A man will never leave the woman he loves! And if a woman leaves a man and he doesn't fight for her. It means he doesn't want her or his ego is too big! I learned this from Mr, Gaskins! Be blessed Sir!!
Some fight for the relationship because they know another woman will not put up with their mess.
Yup!! The cold hard truth that so many women need to hear! Us women need to stop being delusional!
Nope. Ain't no coming back. I'm good woman. Never cheated. I rather stay single.
Not happening over here. I said good-bye and I meant it. Locked down everything so he is not able to contact me in any shape, form or fashion.
I Iearned the hard way....but better now than later!
I’m like this, once that guy touches another woman “I DO NOT WANT HIM BACK” because there is no telling what type of personalities (spirits) this man has accumulated after he initiated the breakup.
Amen ‼️
Now that’s real
FACTUAL
Exactly. And not to mention what potential diseases he's picked up & could be bringing back to you.
FACTS!!!!👏👏👏👏👏
Ladies never let a man drop you and come back!!!
Never Ever give them the control and power ,let them go be with that downgrade that tolerate his mess
They leave because they think they can do Better. They come back because they realize they can't.
Facts on mutha f-cking facts. Leave the trash bag out. I have one crying and blowing up my phone right now , changed my number 2 days ago. Don't take no man back that left 💯 ✌🏾
@@thepurplequeen256 AMEN!!!
Lol this .. dealing with this now with a man who lied and went back to his ex after we dated and my expectations were too high
@@Missbevybaby_ Your expectations weren't to High. His was to LOW!! Keep your Standards HIGH!!
And they will never! Next!
Let him think it’s sweet when he leaves and NEVER let him come back. NEVER double back
The change begins with us ladies. You teach a man how to treat you based on the things you enable and tolerate 🤝 If they disappear out of your life, let them remain a ghost ✌🏾
💯👌🏾
This!!
💯
Yes, Mam you better say that.
Let the dead REST....keep that door closed
Ladies I know it hurts so badly knowing he doesn't see you as the woman he really wants and as the only option. But remember this, the woman he really wants is the opposite of you. So if you're a good woman that says no, and has standards and values...then he looking for an okie dokey dumb girl. So let him have her. The trash belongs in the dumpster. Know you're worth more and are of aa higher quality. His loss, 4 ever!
✨❤️
Boom🎯👏👏👏👏👏🏆
I needed to read this ❤
Thank you😁
insecure men want insecure naiive girls not a woman; they can control abuse and is easier
When we keep letting them come back, we’re blocking our own blessing, the man God has for us.
when you believe that you deserve a good guy,that’s when you will attract him.Your brain will filter out the trash
What if your married to him?
@@marthamasden7573that’s a personal choice. It’s what you decide is best for your well being.
He comes back to manipulate and hurt you even more. It all boils down to knowing your worth.
precisely! its a test to see if u dumb enuf to take him back. making u dumber bc u didn't learn the lesson: never ever take him & if u do, its bc he was doing $omething significant and extraordinary like; paying all of your expensive bills, mortgage, new car, exotic travel, huge monthly allowance; aka unless he greatly benefits u financially. never take him back🤦♀️🙅♂️
“First, that weakens a woman.”
“An upgrade is a downgrade”
“He knows he can come back.”
“He wants to cheat in peace.” #1 TG
Facts
Short attention span, too.
✅
This is good to know..
@B Real
Right. Tony said cheating in peace was #1.
If he leaves me I've moved on in the next 3 minutes. Taking him back is like vomiting then eating the vomit back. Yuck
I love the way of how you put it. 😂
Exactly 😂
@@merlene_k i said the same lol
I wouldn’t trust a comeback, once its over it OVA!
Truth!!!
You're so, so right
Agreed sister !!!!
Sing it!
Same here. I never do.
The last and only time a man has asked me for a break. I said "sure, I understand. Take as much time as you need"... And he never heard from me again. He tried to re-add me on all social media accounts within a month and got blocked on those as well.
If you're talking to me about a break. We're broken up PERIOD. Between work, college, family, and friends I don't have time to single handedly support a relationship he doesn't even want.
Literally just happened to me!!! I told him the same thing, and I ended up blocking him.
Amen
@@princessdiana2737 Good on you! The way I view it, I'm not a coat rack that guys can hang their raggedy excuses on. We as women don't have to settle for their games. We can keep our minds and hearts fullfilled outside of toxic relationships so that when a healthy relationship comes along, we are in a healthy place to enjoy it.
@@ericah.3906 exactly!! He didn’t think, I would ever block him. A friend of mine, said he was retweeting on social media on how much he missed me, well on the first strike your out dude. I’m not putting up with it
@@princessdiana2737 Thats the alarming part for me! Like he didn't act a fool out of ignorance. It wasn't an accident it was arrogance and the belief that I was stupid. He knew what he wanted but he decided to waste my time and play with my emotions in the hopes that I was too vulnerable to keep living my life without him! It sounds like you've encountered that same kind of lowlife.
Because, we women let them come back!
Basically.
Naw, speak for yourself lbs I CHEAT BACK (forever)
Some lol
This message really hit a nerve and brought tears to my eyes. Simply because a man will only do what you allow. It doesn't matter how good of a person you are, or how much love you have to give. It means nothing if you're not valued. It's important to know your worth and stand in it.
Truth!!!
Me too! It stung!
Very very true ! Had to learn this the hard way
How can you be an good person/have love to give and not be valued?
@@123-u1x8m if a person is just using you they don't value you.
Rejection is Gods protection.
When a person exits your life do not allow them to come back.
Keep it moving.
when you believe that you deserve a good guy,that’s when you will attract him.Your brain will filter out the trash
👍👍👍👍@@richardrivas3294
He can't come back to what's not there...👍....never go back to a man that broke you 💔
Facts...so true
Never ever!
Yes you right
I've come to understand, that as women, we are much more complicated beings compared to men, it can be hard to accept this simplicity regarding men that Tony shares. But it really is what he is sharing. We will dissect , breakdown, dismantle ourselves trying to figure out what we did wrong....but it ain't you ALL the time Sis!!! LOL...most of the time, they just want to do what they want to do. However, our power comes from the ability to chose not to deal with it. YOU DO HAVE THAT POWER....don't relinquish it.
Kenyetta Clark Sis I always knew it wasn’t me.
Kenyetta Clark I agree with you Sis because when a man leaves why even come back especially when your happy.
And some times they tell us straight up to our face what we’re dealing with. The ex used to say “I’m a n*gga and n*ggas are gonna do what they do” If only I had listened.
I found this to be very true. I wasted alot of time going back and forth over the years. Thanks to you Tony my cut off game is vicious now and I remain off my bike.
💯
Lmaooo @ “off my bike” loll
@@cdw9529 I LOL
Wow why even.
Lmaooo but fact 😂
I WILL NOT LET A TOXIC PERSON BACK IN MY LIFE.... I RATHER BE LONELY RATHER THAN BE WITH SOMEONE WHO REALLY JUST DOESN'T TREAT ME LIKE SH''T. IM GONNA KEEP MOVING FORWARD.
Oh yes this is actually a French saying " vaut mieux être seul que mal accompagné."
This goes for friendships too
I'm hoping that writing this will help some ladies through their own break ups.
1. When a break up or a break occurs, I focus entirely on myself and I don't pay any attention to the guy. I don't call. I don't text. Nothing.
2. When he returns from a break up, I let him see how I've upgraded and I let him know what my upgraded expectations are of him. If he can't meet those, then I slowly start pulling away.
3. If he begins pulling away, I let him know we're on a break. Again, no texting, no calling, nothing. I'm focusing on upgrading myself.
4. When he returns from that, I don't give any energy. Oh, you miss me. Okay. If he calls, I don't answer. I'm not in the mood to talk. The next day, I may or may not send my last message on how it's not going to work between us, and then I keep it moving.
I don't remember how many months it's been since my last one, but I'm still moving. Haven't reached out. Nothing. It's done.
He had to learn my truths the hard way. Especially since he didn't believe there is a Queen here.
Take back your power. No matter what a guy thinks, says, or does, that's on him. And it doesn't have to be your story.
Well done! You saved yourself a lot of time,feelings and energy!
@@SermonsSubtitled Thank you.
🙏🏼✨
👏👏👏👏 i did the same thing and took my power back👑
@@freedom123-j8j That's awesome! It feels good, doesn't it...
He comes back because he failed to replace you. Simple as 1,2,3 lol.
🎯
My x has trying to come back 10 years. Pitiful
@@dimediamond Wow! That's s an entire decade!
@@Marz742 And I STILL DON'T WANT HIM. Have not spoken to him 10 years and he tries and tries. Nope. 🌹
You may be on to something🤔....
Wait ✋ ✋ He wants to cheat in peace😂😂😂 the accuracy Tony
For Real Smh 🤦♀️
Lightbulb went off for me right there 🙏🏻
OMG! Is there a real man out there who isnt fidhing around???
A lot women including myself wanted to know why and now we have our answers. Thanks TG
SO TRUE!!
Majority of males are little boys, not men
That cheat in peace speaks something to me.
Any man that leaves you doesn’t deserve to have you. My soon to be ex husband pulled this crap over an over leaving my alone with 7 children, including when his mom was dying in the hospital. Straight trash! Ladies learn how to love yourself so you don’t accept men who do these types of things.
Sorry love!
Do you go back outside after taking the trash out to check on it? No? Okay. So stop going back to your ex.
That was a whole entire word..,preach!
😂😂😭😭😭
Damn that was good sis
👏👏👏👏👏👏👏
Tbh... sometimes I need a Tony Gaskins break. Not because I don’t like him or his videos but because he speaks the truth - and as y’all know: Truth hurts.
Yeah, you not lying the truth hurts, but trust me it will set you free! You will have to be a fool to go around with your eyes closed and accepting red flags after taking in tg's knowledge.
Yes I gotta take breaks cuz damn he made me realized how many bad man I’ve dated.
@@linahernandez6913 tell me about it, I feel the same way, I’m like this truth is too much, so I take breaks too because I start to feel bad because I’m like I should have known better and it’s too much, but I just pivot to working on my 3 B’s and watch his small business Saturday playlist so I can focus on improving myself and how I can make myself better this go around
Same😫
So true 😢
My ex became my ex 35 days ago. As of last week he has been calling "just to say hi". The thing is this, I have no intentions of getting back with him. I was sad 30 days ago when we first broke up and he moved out. Now i feel free proud of my decision and relieved. I remember the disrespect; the coming in at 8am with no explanation; the name calling. That keeps me focused on myself. Next time he calls, I've decided to not answer the phone. On second thought..I've deleted his number.
Girl your name is goodwin so that means you are meant to be good and to win! So keep on going sis 🙌🏿
Block him. You are way to good for him. Total disrespect on his end.
@@pjSoCal23 nah let him keep calling so he knows your intentionally ignoring him lol
The we can be friends is a smokescreen
@@jesuswilljudge7296 ooh don't I know it..its also called cockblocking!
You have to be strong enough to not allow him to come back after he's done dipped himself in another's woman's well.
Whew! You said that one.
His wifes well😗😗😗😗😗😗.
@@aliciabee2781 What? Hopefully your boyfriend isn't married.
My ex left me, married, divorced trying to come back lol
Im getting stronger by not taking it so personal anymore. He is defective. I think we all kinda sensed something’s not right it in the beginning.
If he leaves, let him keep going. My ex found out the hard way...
Yes indeed 🙌🏽🙌🏽
My ex tried to come back in my life for 21 yrs
This video stung 🐝 but you confirmed what I already knew in my heart 💔
They come back because there option did not work out. The grass was concrete and it does not work out. KEEP IT MOVING DO NOT LOOK BACK. You are number 1 NEVER number 2. 🌹
Exactly, they only come back after it dont work out
They thought you was a liability, but you were an asset
@@sullivanel1975 amen
😂😂😂😂
OUCH!!! Mr. Gaskins, you be giving us the BUSINESS, about males. This is hard to hear but it is necessary. Thank you for continuing to allow GOD TO USE YOU. I hope we remember what you have taught us, when we are faced with certain situations. Application is so KEY. However, we tend to not apply what we have been taught. Those letters/emails, you received are proof, some of us are not listening and or applying what you are teaching! It is hard out here for the LADIES 😩😩😩😩😩
If he leaves...lock the door permanently. Period 😮.
So basically, when he needs a break, move on with your life. Thanks, Tony!
Dang ur topics be right what im going through RIGHT NOW ..Do u know me lol
🙌🏼🙌🏼
No. There is ALWAYS a dude coming back, smh
I know right?😅😅😅
That’s what I said like are you reading my messages
He has your phone tapped just like mine😉
My situation was no4 and we were married. Couldn't handle or have recieved this information 2 years ago but now I can digest this and learn and never go through this again. Divorce is painful, so many disappointments and questions that will never be answered by him. Closure comes from knowing the Lord. Thanks Tony
I understand. We tend to want closure. But he actually explained everything with his actions, so there's not much to be said. I have definitely been through that before.
Once they leave an shut the door 🚪 don't come back because that door is closed and locked 🔐
*Learn to be quiet enough to hear the genuine in yourself, so that you can hear it in others.*
I feel like after the second time you not really all in like you was before 😫
True! Because now you know the person is capable of hurting you
Yupp.
A man comes only back because he sees you as convenient placeholder to use up until he finds the woman that he REALLY wants. If YOU were the woman he really wanted, his 1st choice, he would have never left you in the first place!
But he risked losing you cuz he had a better opportunity in sight. Only now, that his actual 1st choice didn't work out, he comes back to you, his 2nd (or even only 3rd, 4th,..10th) choice! Keep that in mind!
U r so real linda. Thank u it hurts real bad what ur saying but we have to accept and learn and move on
Be blessed. The best decision I ever made was leaving my last relationship and not allowing him back! He even tried to come back 3 years later, nope.
The upgrade sent him back after she realize he’s not compatible with her. Some times the upgrade is out his league and he can’t maintain what comes with being with her. So he goes back to what’s familiar and accepts any and every thing
@TiffanyB TV omg this literally happened to me in November. The guy went back to his ex and his words were precisely "I'm going back to her cus she's familiar." It hurt my heart and hurt my feelings but I absolutely stepped aside and let him go. Now he trying to be friends with me...
Facts!
@@michelletiaraharris He likes his ex.
@@sparklesp9304 absolutely and I'm more than okay with it.
So True! That’s what my ex is experiencing ! However I put him out, he wanted to come back, I let him a month, he wasn’t up to my standards... gone about your business...! Now he craving me .. that soultie tearing him up! He’s out of here! I don’t care he’s over there , there.. Dead!.
TONY!! Stop taping my phone. It’s illegal! These grown boys are more than exhausting🤦🏾♀️!
I get it men be taking the easy route out. They wanna have their cake and eat it too. I just find it so crazy how most em never ever have their sh*t together when they approach you to date you. They don’t be mature with a good mindset or character. I just find it sad how men can’t just do right because they want to and is suppose to do right in life.
Well said!
@Beyonnd Beautiful 👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏
Beyondd beautiful I agree! The cake and eat it too part. Playing with both women heart and don't give a damn who they hurt
It's because men don't heal and move on from their traumas in unhealthy ways (I.e other women)
@@lumiere3619 they won’t even admit this
I just want to tell you THANK YOU! I was truly clueless about men, but I’m better now! You’ve leveled me UP, I appreciate you...
I believe that in my past relationship we hit the World's "on and off" record. About 9 years, on and off about 100 times. I'm not joking. Tony literally saved my life with these videos.
I served seven years!
9years of torture, bless your heart
That cheating in peace is completely UNACCEPTABLE! Leave his sorry behind ALONE, before you make him RIP. Riddiculous!🤦🏽♀️😩
You know what my problem is? Even though i would have gone ghost, blocked or whatever...i still feel jaded/rejected. I KNOW the person is a loser and i can do sooo much better, but i still hate that the person i blocked for treating me badly did not treat me well in the first place! Ugh!
Don’t be too hard on yourself .Actualize your thoughts of being better into existence and level up .
I feel the same and it sucks tbh😫
It's not you, it's them! Your worth is not limited or defined by their inability to see it!
You might have some abandonment or rejection issues from childhood that you most heal...find some RUclips videos on those topics😊
@@soulplay6995 yes, i do. Tony has helped me on this journey .I've come a looooong way!!
Never ever take him back. Once you know that he has issues, acts immature ( grown boy status at 40 something, like mine was ) I left him, I moved it on.
I have a career in the navy and a purpose in life that I won’t stand for nonsense.
This video literally drained me because it’s 💯% true and VERY frustrating 😱 almost to the point where you question “ Is there even still a point in getting married”? 🤦🏾♀️🤦🏾♀️
@Miracle sis I feel you in that. The things men do really be making me question some days Lord is there a point in getting married still.
I’m right there with both of you! I am spent over these grown man. I’m not sure if I can do it🤔!
@@mymakersdaughter6041 but we cannot get discouraged ladies. We're Queens it's just taking a little longer for our Kings to get here, that's all.
@@michelletiaraharris Thank You! I am 55 and tired. 😓 Appreciate your encouragement!
@@mymakersdaughter6041 awwww I understand. I'm 34 so obviously, I don't if my encouragement helps as much, but I truly do understand the frustration. I'll be keeping you in my prayers. 💖
Wow, ty so much...
This is hard to accept, but I know you know the sad truth.
Father, help us women on this one.
🙏🏾
Tony, you ain’t never lied! Your wisdom is extremely thought provoking, which must motion action in us and is relayed in a way that is easily understood. Thanks again!
This video timing is perfect
I just listen 5 times getting it in my soul 💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯 GOT it and received it 💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯
Whaaattttt, he did it, 3 mins under the 10min mark. Go Tony!
As I've heard Tony say, your standing still. I had a relationship 6 years on and off. When we seemed to get closer he would leave me. I thought it was the Christian thing to do to keep forgiving him. Thank you Tony for telling me how men work. Otherwise this last time it wouldn't have been mutual. He finally has left me alone it's been 5 years.
This is DEFINITELY the best explanation I’ve heard/read yet!
My ex did this! He reached out a few weeks ago after we'd been broken up for 2 years...I ended it because I found out he was dealing with another woman maybe more. He came back talking bout he still likes me and wants to see if I'm still "making sense" indirectly. I was like so you want to get back with me because the last girl u was with didn't work out huh.. He got so upset and offended that I dared to say that lol. He thought that I was desperate after the fact...he was mistaken. To top it off he's much older and I've learned from Tony that I need to be with someone in my age group. God bless you Mr. Gaskins!!!
He has to mature ✊🏾
Even this maybe the truth and give us some clarity and understanding.doesn’t change the fact of that it leaves you feeling like you are not good enough, and makes you question everything about yourself.healing is so weird
I'm guilty. Tony is absolutely right about it being "a state of man". I had to mature. I had to grow up. I'm still learning, but the point is that I'm way more accountable for my actions than I ever was. Golden video bro. Keep em coming!
Ten minutes was perfect! Thank you! Sometimes...Not all the time, though...I lack time-or I lack patience when I’m having an anxiety ridden day to listen for one hour or more. In the artworld...less is more! God bless you, our Tony!
♥️🙏🏼♥️
Dont ever take a player back! Kick to the curbside and never look back.....keep on walking girl and know your worth
Vicious Cycle ✍🏾📌
Let's be real their are not many men out here that will be faithful to one woman for a lifetime. It's very rare.
Always on point Tony Gaskins!!!
The revolving door tactic to train a woman or all his woman!
Bless ya Tony. Aussie gal hearing U load and clear. Praise God he left after even telling me life was a game to him and demanding to come back, when I said no he turned even worse saying I ain't no Christian keeping him away and wanting a divorde. I actually believe he is possessed and Father God is protecting me and my children from him. Please pray for us. Bless U all. Thanku so much☀️🥰
Pray for me,lowanna,Ruben and thorn. I believe the Lord has much more for us .😇🌴🇦🇺✝️
They come back because no other sound minded woman will accept their lost ass! They have not much to offer yet demanding faithfulness & perfection from good women!! Boy bye.👋🏾
Truth right here
This the one !!
I was literally just wishing for a video from you, brother, on a topic of mine , and here is our heavenly FATHER, delivering!
I haven't watched it yet, but I KNOW it's a heavenly gift.
Thank you! May HE continue giving you blessings and growing you and expanding you!
Greetings from Bulgaria!
Just real happy that I've reached the point where I can drop anything and anybody... Maintain your standards and boundaries ladies!
These men knew you telling the truth 💯💯💯💯💯💯💯😱😱💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯
So boom let’s counter the bullshit. You gotta be Ruthless. When a man tries to break up with you by causing arguments, disrespecting you, cheating, manipulating you, making you feel confused by loving you one moment and hurting you the next, and all of the other games and tactics that leads to a break up. When the break up is happening, whether it’s you leaving him cause of his doing/ games or him leaving you. Agree with it ! Yes, Tell him you agree and that you do need a break. Then leave him for Good. Forever ! Go out and date other men and let him see you moving on! Literally act like he is not there anymore and MOVE ON, when he comes back you should have moved on so much that he is No longer your type. Tell him in the process of moving on you met men that are honest, respectful, non- manipulative and provide you with everything that he did not! And that you cannot downgrade back to him again. When he hits you with the I thought we both agreed to take a break and come back to each other nonsense. Tell him the break help you to realize you need a man that is consistent and is man enough to deal with the relationship issues honestly instead of one that lies, leaves cheats and comes back after to benefit from you would be regretful feelings and desperation. Literally Tell him you’ve meet better Men than him! Go out and meet the Man of your dreams become the woman you need to become to attract what you truly want and desire. Heal yourself from anything that caused you to vibrate on such low level that you attracted you ex in the first place. Force him to settle and be with the woman he taught was better for him than you. Force yourself to be with a man that is good to you, kind to you, and is more qualified for you than HIM. Yes encourage him to leave you and move on with the next woman. Do not call him or communicate with him about anything unless you have children and must co- parent. Other than that if there’s a death he’s experiencing, he’s sick, he wants to talk, and holidays or celebration. You are not there to talk to or comfort him in anyway! You are silent through this all! He’ll try to call you heartless and claim you never loved him. or You’ll feel weak and want to give in , but Don’t! Tell him yeah I DO love myself more than I will ever love you! Admit it to him and yourself! Tell him you love yourself so much that you cannot love someone who doesn’t match the high quality love you have for yourself. Let him leave, allow him to leave, encourage him to leave. Block and delete, and literally never speak to him again. Never Go back to him! Or Allow him to return to you. In that moment he will or will not realize thar his mind game on you did not work! Either way you are now more likely to attract the better man for you! The less time you waste with the wrong man the more time you have with the right man. He’s treating you like your reusable and disposable, So You gotta dispose him completely! Stop caring about him, fantasying, replaying and regretting Especially if this is Not the first time you two broke up, and if it is , this behavior I suggested will help you either way.
He left me because he wanted to cheat....then he decided he wanted to come back...and it's gotten worse
Happened to me too 😑
Happen ti me too. When you take him back he knows that you’re desperate.
He wasn't and isn't worth the second plus chances he got....plus now that I watch these videos....I've learned what I did not know...and I can do better and deserve a great love
I couldn’t do it! I’m too old and don’t have the patience!
What you permit, you promote.
Man! This is THE TRUTH 😔
Be blessed!
Everything he mention is true. Period! I actually like the short videos. Thanks for the knowledge Mr. G.
Tony, the first 4 minutes you described my off and on 3 year relationship with my ex. I left at the end because I finally realized he no longer loved me. He tells everyone that I left him this time and make himself look like the victim. He is definitely a grown boy. He always knew I was his ride or die but not this time. I’m done!!
I have to share this revelation, You know I use to be so ashamed and embarrassed when listening to Tony at times because of all the mistakes I’ve made BUT I just realized it was a rebuke so I can change and do better, so instead of internalizing my guilt, I’m grateful that we have Tony here to tell us the cold hard truth, & this is only making me better and into the woman I’m suppose to become, as Tony mentioned before he’s raising a lot of other men’s daughters through these videos raising AND saving I might add, although Tony doesn’t say anything rude or in a disrespectful tone or anything like that, I had to realize, wait a minute “The Lord disciplines the one He loves” (Hebrews 12:6) so would I rather have someone tell me the truth or sugar coat a lie, although I haven’t watched the video yet I just had to get that off my chest lol, it’s like Tony’s doing the work of The Lord outside of the pulpit because even most modern day churches don’t talk about the stuff he speaks on and of course people perish for a lack of knowledge so thank you Tony for showing up and providing us with new knowledge, I’m listening 👂
Thank you for this, sis. Blessings❤️
Same 🙋🏾♀️
He's like the brother alot of women wish they had that protects his sister. 👍
Well said👏🏾
That was beautiful!
I appreciate you enlightening us on all of this knowledge on relationship's❣️❣️
when you believe that you deserve a good guy,that’s when you will attract him.Your brain will filter out the trash
This is a good message and everything you said is so true. Keep speaking my brother , Someone is being healed. Glory to God.
Guys like this are SICK. Idk how you can do something so cold and evil and think it's completely okay!
My most recent ex when I left, thought he could do the same thing. I broke up with him and someone he had already talked to behind my back earlier in our relationship, he went and started talking to her again.
Later when he asked for me back I found out it was because she didn't want him LOL. She was someone who always put him in the friend zone and he thought he could come back to me. NOPE! Please do not EVER allow a man to come back. Guys always know what they're doing and why they're doing it. When they show you who they are, believe it and move on!
Edit: Also, I love how uplifting and positive the comments always are under his videos. Such a wonderful community!❤
Perfect timing!! 🙌
I am glad you are going back over these lessons, for all the new women coming over, too your channel. I unselfishly move over too, help another woman heal and find answers.
Facts. Been here and won't ever again. Ladies please adhere.
Dam man, you are so, so ,so accurate I can't believe how right you are
Tony, I just discovered you two days ago and I've been steady watching your videos and learning so much new info! Thank you! 🙏🏽
Also, I block and delete all of my EXs from social media and my phone. There's zero communication, they can't contact me. I'm not perfect, but at least I know enough that if a guy thinks he's slick enough to try to play me or ghost me - in my eyes, that is The End. There's no coming back to me. There's no communication or contact. There's no going back and forth.
Funny thing is, before I understood why men/women go back to their EXs, I wondered why that doesn't happen to me. Then I remembered that I cut men off 😄
Definitely hit the nail on the head. My bd did this same stuff to me and then married the “friend he knew before me”....should’ve seen the red flags. Oh well wish him and sis all the best because shes in for one hell of a ride...
He pushed you away but he knows "he can come back" until YOU, friend zone him to hell. Say NO thank you to everything. And just put him on a wait list, at the bottom of your wait list. This is a cycle, the only way to stop it gracefully, is to be kind, friend zone him or BLOCK him if he keeps bothering you and you get closer to God. F what he wants. Go on and do what you want! If he comes back again, he will have competition from all the other good men you have met.
The accuracy of this video 💯💯💯💯💯💯💯
I don't think so,can't come back here! I've been gone since July 2019. A BLESSING!
This guy left me for 9years, married with 3kids and recently he wants me back, been out of my mind when he told me because deep down I know I still love him. Thanks for sharing
I trusted a comeback he begged me back said he would change then when he got me back months later he felt jolted and changed and twisted things saying I did him wrong and now he acting petty and mean. I should of stayed were I was problem free
Sounds like you have a narcissist google the word to see if he match the list and utube narcs don't change they get worse blame shift, gaslight, devalue, discard
hello Tony its a very real ideo talk and much apreciated ..thats crazy how it's like u talking about my ex who keeps coming back using new phone numbers and just selling me dreams and talks and talks i gave him like 3 chances in the past and he never change he kept doing same mistakes over over again and now he is back the 4rth time claiming to be in love even more and more after he has seen other women that didnt work out for him and he keeps telling me what i wish from him he will do anything and that he wana live for me and get old with me and bla bla bla and i feel stronger and powerful not blieving his shit anymore .. he knows i became a challenge and he keeps coming back so i blocked deleted him to teach him a lesson that he cant have it his ways..
My husband wanted to cheat in peace.. I realized that quickly and so that’s why he’s now my ex husband. Take that ish else where.
You better SPEAK brother Gaskins!!!
Thank you once again Tony you be coming with THE REAL!!!!!
When a man breaks up with me or me with him..I'm done..there is no coming back with me..!!! Especially if I blocked him