the worst ownvoices trans book i've read? | trans book review
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- Опубликовано: 27 авг 2024
- unfortunate as it is, #ownvoices trans books aren't always good. i read this one, and was sadly disappointed.
things on the misogyny of 'pickup artistry': (yes two of these videos are by men, but hey if you need convincing that pickup artistry is misogynistic, you might only be listening to men anyway.)
• Pick Up Artistry: A Me...
• I Forced Myself To Rea...
• Pick up Artists: Weapo...
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Excuse me, but outing a trans person, let alone outing a victim of a hate crime is just... beyond. If I were Pony I’d cut her out of my life immediately. It’s wrong and dangerous on all sorts of levels. Also, while we are at it, the “thank god im straight and not a lesbian” ending is something else. The author is bleeding insecurities and it’s just sad
In a way, this book is a good manual for cis allyship. Look at everything Georgia does over the course of the story, and do the exact opposite. In every case. I'm serious.
"stay gold" "pony" "STAY GOLD PONY BOY" THE OUTSIDERS HELLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
YEAHHHH
CRYING IRL
JDJSJSJSJSJKUY
0o0 Wait I didn't catch thattt
I love that book, 10/10
I regret paying for this book. It reminds me of how there's gay books written for straight people and gay books written for gay people, this is like that; it's a trans book written for cis people full of trans trauma porn which is sad to come from a trans author. I feel like it was disappointing that I've read trans books that handle trans characters better than a trans author :(
also a multiple perspective book I recommend is hank green's an absolutely remarkable thing series! he does a good job changing perspectives and writing in the second book
lmao i actually just did a buddyread of AART !! i have the second book on hold :)
I'm a trans writer and have literally never written a trans character for some reason and last time I've seen a trans representation in recent media that I really liked or picked up on was Rachel from the new Rocco's modern Life series
not to psychoanalyze but it sounds like the author has mega internalized transphobia and is projecting it into his main character :/ which sucks bc we rly need more books by, for, and about trans people
So a trans writer cant create a transphobic character?
i don’t think that’s the problem here really. if pony was shown to be wrong or if he changed by the end of the book i’d have no problem with his character. it’s the fact that he faces no repercussions for his actions and is rewarded in the end that doesn’t sit right with me
@@O7iver oh yeah yeah haha i haven't read the book anyways and i commented this before watching the video entirely
@@EduardoHerrera-fr6bd maybe.... next time.... keep from doing that.
@Liquid Sun yeah that's what i mean, we still hate the character but it serves a purpose for the writer and the writing
I am a trans dude, i'm 14, ex truscum, yada yada all that edgy trans guy stuff. It took me some time to get over some misogyny, because being "a typical asshole" was very gender affirming for me, it gave me gender euphoria. I know i'm only 14 and I am still very young and immature and i'm glad I didn't grow up to be hateful and to project my own insecurites onto other trans people like kalvin garrah does. sorry for the long and unrelated comment
Dude all I have to say is *saamme*
im 13 and i try not to be like the uwu quirky smol bean because thats not me but im also not a cool kid jerk. i just figured who i am and i am a feminist genderfluid person who likes girls. i dont know if i call myself lesbian or straight but i like girls.
Honestly same
@Cian Abroad :)
i'm so proud of you and anyone else who comes to this comment with a similar background. those groups can be really harmful to people both inside and out of them, and i hope that as you get older you're able to heal from that and find better ways of reaffirming your identity! best of luck 💕
“so after pony is hate crime’d” jESUS lmao this thing sounds like a ride. thank you for reading it so we don’t have to
I read your comment at the beginning and was still shook when he said that like wtf
excuse me but what the fuck
bro why would you put a hate crime in what looks like a cute romcom novel
I’m a non-binary writer hoping to write better content for all trans/ lgbtq people.
yeS please do we desperately need it lmaoajshdhdh
hazyrory haha I’ll do my best
*pls we need it 🥺💖*
I'm a wanna be, non-binairy, wlw, graphic novel writer, so I'm sending u all the good vibes for your future content!
We need that good good lgbt+ book content. It's one of the reasons I've been thinking about if I want to be a writer
This book sounds like it was written for Blaire White.
HAHAHAHAHAHHAJFKD LMAO underrated
YES LMAO
jfsjfsjtwjdfsrrjtdt
Oh my god, I'm dying. Not Blaire White 💀
Or kalvin garrah 🥲
Internalized transphobia is strong with this one
“You all know I hate billionaires. You all know I’m an anticapitalist.”
Oh you, you’re a keeper!
*CARTOON HORN NOISES EYES BULGE OUT OF HEAD STEAMBOAT NOISES AWOOGA*
I hate the trans people having to fight the other trans people thing a LOT. When I was in high school there was just me and one other trans person in my year and I was told so much about like she was a "bad rep" of the trans community (hi, she's a WHOLE ASS PERSON NOT A WALKING ADVOCATE???) and how I should like hate her as the good one and it was so uncomfortable. There are for sure things u can criticise her on, but she's a great friend and her being an open trans person introduced a lot of people to the concept. Like she was a LOT to deal with and I am a quieter person but that doesn't make me a better trans person?? Part of it is also probably I have lower boundaries for questions bc I LIKE discussing my body and my plans (tho I make it clear that u should not ever ask other trans people u dont know), which is v gross bc I am a full human and my worth isnt determined by how much I'll discuss my genitals with strangers
so many people expect you to be the 'good one' of your group. like, oh you're autistic but it's fine because you're not one of those ANGRY ones. oh you're trans but you're not one of those sjws that goes on about it all the time.
people just really hate being confronted with their own privilege and biases tbh. what sucks the most is when marginalised people buy into the idea of being the 'good one' and sell out the rest of us :/
Its kinda like making yourself more “cis-friendly” or like trying to be part of a group and like,, i kinda get it. As someone who used to be transmed and have a lot of internalized transphobia (not anymore lol), i *did* want to be accepted in a group since “trans” was only ‘half acceptable” (and it still is, by societal standards). It really sucked since i was still treated and viewed as some “lite” or “mini” version of a man. Only when i broke the internalized wall of transphobia i got to meet so many wonderful people and got to explore my own identity without pandering to the Cishet people.
@@roisinrowan1341 People like people who are unique and different until they start acting like it
My best friends had the same experience! my friend M (a trans woman) tried to teach some cis classmates about being trans by answering their questions, and later they called my nb friend J a "bad trans" because they didn't want to answer their VERY intrusive questions about transition, genitals etc. and it hurt M so much because her openness and friendliness was used as a tool to put down an other trans person! fortunately J and M knew each other and didn't take any of their bullshit but we still have a situation where the cis classmates tried to pit the 2 trans students against each other and comparing them to determine who's the "best" or "valid" trans (like being accepted by the cis students was the greatest accomplishement you could ever have lmao)
@Julia Li yup, because a lot of cis people are interested in trans genitals and how they differ from cis genitals they feel entitled to approach people they often barely know (literally I used get these questions from people in my classes as a first conversation) and discuss their personal genitals, sex lives and surgery plans and then get mad if u won't
One of my least favorite part of the ending was "oh look now his abusive dad who was homophobic to his older sibling and transphobic towards him is all better!" Like I feel like it's so unrealistic and rushed. Like wow Georgia fixed transphobia!
we did it boys, transphobia is no more
Oh god, I hate the 'abusive parent magically transforms into a better person' trope so much . Sucks
The eyebrow shave looks really good with your face shape. 🙂
I really want some high fantasy with some lgbt characters who are just there and have cool arcs that arent to do with their transness or gayness ect. Thats not to say they cant have feelings and thoughts on their identity but we as lgbt people arent only those labels. I feel like most books with lgbt rep are intended to highlight the fact that they are lgbt (which is great and important in a lot of cases) but honestly i think society is at a point where we need to start normalising being trans ect within media by just having characters who may be lgbt but are also the cool mage or whatever. Your comment about not having it be all about trauma is so true. Those stories about trauma are so important but they arent the whole picture. We are all people and I dont want to feel like the outsider who has the sob story in every book.
Yes! Have you read Carry On?
I’m actually in the middle of writing a fantasy book that just happens to have a wlw couple (and YES they’re main characters and NO they don’t die)
Oh I would love lgtba+ high fantasy.
Haha, I’m actually currently writing a fantasy story with a lot of important characters who happen to be lgbt. They’re just trying to save their world from a magical earthquake and a dictator.
I'm writing a superhero story with mostly lgbt cast! The main character is bi and trans and she wears skates. The story is mainly about her training to be a superhero even though her powers are weak so she has to use strategy and determination; she makes a point to never give up even when the villains have the upper hand :D
“but all of us are gay. when we call each other homos we mean it” LITERALLY ME AND MY FRIENDS LIKE I FEEL SO CALLED OUT-
"Stay Gold" and "Pony" ... Is this a "50 Shades was originally a fanfic of Twilight" situation? Literally just a fanfic of The Outsiders but make it more modern day and trans.
Ikr!!
Exactly
Who would that make Georgia
literally came down here to say this
There's nothing wrong with that. Basically all art is fanfic. This one just isn't very good.
This deadass makes me want to write a trans love story.
HELL YEAH DO IT >:D
You should definitely do it!
Bad stories make me make to rewrite them so I might try to make a book based apon them but instead they are better written.
As a transman who came out recently online and who has just realized they were a man after years, I can say I was disappointed and sad many of my fellow transmen are toxic masculine caricature. If anything, transmen should be absolutely aware of sexism and the negative effects since they experienced it beforehand.
As a demi-boy I agree. (Even tho its a year later) Update; x.x guess I'm agebder now
YES THIS HERE
Trauma response but not acceptable
Are we going to talk about how this book is inspired by the outsiders? "Stay gold pony boy" what's the deal with that?
I was thinking the same thing
I loved the outsiders
Exactly what I thought..
Has anyone here read that book recently? I loved it when I was younger, read it like a dozen times, I even tracked down the DVD and payed like 60$ for it (that was before the Directors Cut came out. but I bought that one, too) but I've avoided re-reading it because it feels like the sort of book that might not have aged very well?
@@imaginareality i read it a few years ago in school, and i really liked it
I love how you're a textbook example of what right-wingers imagine a "dangerous radical leftist" to be, but you're extremely chill. what a vibe
If you like reading trans memoirs I'd recommend a wonderful memoir called The Truth About Me: A Hijra Life Story by A. Revathi. Its one of the best trans memoirs I've ever read. It also gives a great insight into the Hijra communities in India.
I feel like Pony would call me a trender for being an afab enby who uses she/they and is hyper fem
Main character: *wants to be stealthed
Also main character: *chose the name "Pony"*
Nothing against weird names, but if you want to be stealthed, maybe don't chose a weird name... It can be a bit suspicious...
I don't know, cis people don't think enough of trans people to pick that up by itself I think. They have their first impression of your gender and stick with it from my experience.
@@arowace498 I mean, I guess it also depends on where you live... In america it might be less weird, after all people name their children Paris, River, Hunter... and stuff like that, while over here where I live you just have pretty traditional, boring names so a guy named Pony would raise all kinds of suspiciouns.
@@silvercandra4275you're right it though I think it would have a lot to do with where you live. Even places in the usa people have generally conventional names. Still, I don't think a cis persons first intuition is to assume someone with a weird name is trans without any other tells. But if you feel it's different where you live I can't tell you you're wrong.
.. I mean cis people over here called their child reighle
@@Wren796 what
Authors don't have a lot of control over how their book is marketed, down to the cover, which is almost always chosen by the publisher.
That does seem to be what happened here. I'm surprised it was this bad.
People do genuinely think billionaires are smart lol. Also rich white kids are like that so that’s very believable. I grew up around them.
But how can you be trans and not a commie? /s
*reads The Outsiders once* author- Stay Gold... and his name will be Pony
"i'm trans, and i like to read"
me, trans and dumber than a box of rocks: 👁👄👁
im cis but what a vibe
Same-
as soon as i heard you read "pouring over girl advice on Reddit" i just,,, died inside. Reddit relationship subs are FILLED with incels its the last place a insecure teenage trans boy should look. And Pony even awknowledges the advice was bad and follows it anyway!!
when we said "treat trans people the same as cis people", we didn't mean "make trans guys just as mysoginistic and obsessed with toxic masculinity as cis guys" .............😬
pony really be so manly, maley manning masculinely like a man over here
Why is everyone talking about they're looks? I d..
Because he looks absolutely amazing.
The makeup, jewellery, eyebrow shave, everything its amazing.
And the stuff they're saying is also great, i might have read the book but this review saved me from that.
The "I have reached the pinnacle of high school masculinity" has "In this moment I am euphoric" levels of cringe
OMG DUDE, THE EYELINER THO
THE ✨✨E Y E L I N E R ✨✨
ITS AMAZING, I CANT
Young trans person with not a lot of experience here I read this book and literally cried for days. I try to find trans books cuz they make me feel represented so I got this one from the library. I had a mental breakdown.
Just want to say how nice it is to see another transmasc (and especially alt) person comfortable with pink-toned makeup. You look dope dude and it's mad gender-affirming to see someone else out there vibing with their style : )
This sounds kinda judgmental to transmascs that aren’t comfortable with that 😭 im sorry
re: the outdated/weird trans language: i know 0% about this book or author than what you said in this video, but first thing that comes to mind when you mention this is lindsay ellis's recent video where she discusses the long process she underwent to get her first book (axiom's end) published. she mentioned working on the entire process, start to finish, for more than 10y before it actually getting published proper, so it's entirely possible that outdated language is featured because the author literally wrote it 10+y ago. not a defense, just first thing that came to mind on that
Pony talk like I did when I used to watch kalvin garrah
SAME LMAO
Georgie outing Pony reminds me of how my mom, despite knowing I didn't want to be outed, posted pictures of me on facebook where people from both sides of my family (who are in large part very transphobic). Her excuse: "Lying goes against my moral code"
Stay Gold's plot reminded me of another queer book called The Meaning Of Birds. It's about a girl who falls in love, but then her girlfriend dies and she winds up very depressed and spiteful of everyone around her. While I don't mind reading about people with anger issues, she never seemed to grow past them. She also believed that her girlfriend was some sort of goddess that could tame her anger issues, but obviously that's not what happened. There's lots of lesbophobia, a poor attempt at trans representation, and even after reading half of the book there seemed to be no turning point for the main character. When I had started reading I thought it was going to be about a broken hearted girl moving forward and realizing her anger couldn't protect her from getting hurt emotionally. In the flashback chapters I thought it would be about the sweet romance between two girls that I had been looking for since forever. I thought I could relate to the MC, since I am both queer and have struggled with my anger. But nope, it was about an angry bitch who made her entire existence dependent on her now dead girlfriend. On the bright side, it did encourage me to start writing my own wlw stories that were as adorable as I had anticipated from this book.
Pony seems like a truescum
yeah i realy did not like how pony and max hated each other's choices in their transition. hating the other for being openly trans and being stealth was not it for me. they were basically embarrassed of each other and I hated it, like let people choose how they want to live and let them live
he seems like he’d be best friends with kalvin garrah
Hhhhhh. One of the mcs has my deadname, oh this is gonna be a hard one.
Edit ok thanks for the trigger warnings imma watch a different video
i really like ur makeup in this video!!
But are we gonna talk about how the name of the book and the name pony we’re BOTH taken from THE OUTSIDERS
Which was taken from a Robert Frost poem. So really we should thank him for this-
Not gonna lie, “When I’m stealth, I read Harry Potter” seems like it could be a line that might get a chuckle out of me in, like, an irreverent trans-themed sitcom for the factor of tongue-in-cheek “I mean, I guess that’d do it”, but EEYEAH neither the ages of the characters in conjunction to when this takes place nor the irony of that line seem to be considered here.
this is why i don’t read straight romance under ANY circumstance
Stay Gold, Ponyboy lol
you're being so nice about your review of the book hahaha. i think it's more than fair to say that you wouldn't recommend it to anyone. the book seems like such an anoutdated mess that could potentially cause harm for young impressionable readers, making them believe saying stuff like this is okay or that this is the be-all and end-all of transness. i understand it's the author's first book and were they to write another book, i would give it a chance. but i just really dislike the idea that this kind of book exists and presents itself as lovely, YA, romance novel when it's really problematic in many small (and not-so-small) ways.
A lot more of the plot and characterization would make sense if the book was explicit about it being set in the past in like the late 00’s early 10’s when the whole “I was born in the wrong body” thing was the best that people could do to explain being trans, people didn’t know JK was a TERF back then and she even riding high off Dumbledor being gay and that’s even when people took the friendzone meme and pickup artists seriously, and most people hadn’t wised up about calling stuff gay as an insult
Sure you’d have to figure out why Pony decided to come out in a different way because Catlin Jenner wasn’t out yet and replace the Jeff Bezos reference with a Steve Jobs or Bill Gates one because nobody really talked about Jeff until like very recently in popular culture
Is it supposed to be set back then? Like is the author trying to write about how the world is today? Or is this like the time when I was in high school being treated like a period piece
The eyebrow shave looks so natural I didn’t even notice it ahdkaldj
i googled the author and he looks like 35 (couldnt find an age), so that might be why his understanding of trans-ness is kinda outdated. still not good, but i think its good to know because when i heard about this being the authors first book and its also a high school romance with split perspectives, i got a huge oh this person is like 19 kind of vibe. so knowing the author is perhaps older makes a lot of things about it make sense.
I love your sword necklace!!!
You know, there's one thing that kind of bothers me with the way people talk about trauma in stories such as these. I understand the desire for stories not to revolve around trauma for people in a lot of marginalized groups, but I worry that sometimes it can come off as "Don't talk about your trauma even if that's what it takes to help you live a healthier life." or "Pretend that nothing traumatic never happens." both of which are harmful in their own ways. It may not be intended, but I worry that that's what people hear. People far more qualified than my cishet male ass have already talked about the problems with the "tragic" or trauma laden story archetypes involving LGBTQIA+ people and the need for stories not completely or at least heavily focused around it, but I worry that people might be overlooking the very real need for people to talk about it and in some cases that means writing stories that address trauma and address the more painful aspects of ones own existence.
I think I address enough trauma in my actual day to day life as a non-binary trans person. I'd rather have escapism. Maybe, I don't want to read suicide and cutting and misogyny and transphobia. In real life, I deal with the fact I was AMAB and being insecure about having sexual feelings towards females because of the fact that toxic men/masculinity made a bad name for men. So, I never feel comfortable about women to the point I'd rather just date a man or someone like me. I also attempted suicide because my own mother wasn't even supportive of me being trans saying "God said one shall not harm thy temple" on top of my depression and dysphoria, my own family wasn't being supportive and using the excuse "But, I've always known you as this" and then being told by my now supportive mother "You have to give them time". It doesn't help the fact that I have a transgender cousin that my aunt deadnames and misgenders her. So, how can I put out hope for my own family? And, I was also babied because of my autism, which I don't let define me, but they always talked to me in this babyfied voice that I DESPISED. And, then I was accused by my own aunt of sexually assaulting a minor in a swimming pool from her perspective, but my perspective was I was sneaking up on him and playfully scaring him. After that incident, my aunt sent multiple messages to my mom about how I'm such a sick little p**o. I should have stopped communicating with family after that. But, I was naive and I craved that familial connection that I grew up with. However, they kept misgendering me and deadnaming me, and my mom told me that "You should present yourself more androgynous to be perceived as your gender". My own mom told me how I should show my gender identity. Honestly, no offense, me being surrounded by only cisgender people gets me really fucking depressed and lonely and makes me wanna end it all from all the frustration, to the tears, to the pain that I've caused my mom from my attempted suicide, to the pain that is forced upon me by my cisgender family and my crippling fucking depression and autism and emotional disorder. Maybe, I just want my pronouns to be respected as effortlessly as cisgender do with other cisgender people. Like, for example, your dog/cat/pet is male, and someone refers to them as she. You correct them, and say he. They correct themselves and say he. But, they didn't have to check the genitals. So, maybe I wish society would just respect my fucking pronouns as if I'm a fucking dog, and that's kinda dehumanizing. Maybe, I just want a book that has a non-binary/trans/bi/gay/queer character where being queer isn't their personality, but it's obvious enough to the point that it would never be mistaken as queerbaiting and us queer people can have some proper fucking representation, and it's not all trauma and pain. Maybe, start out with happy trans stories and then given time, write more realistic trans stories. Start out without any transphobia/homophobia where trans people/gay people are treated as normal in stories. Then, later on, introduce more transphobia/homophobia to be more realistic. I mean, I don't know about you, but I'm depressed and would rather read about a trans person going on some epic adventure without being misgendered or deadnamed and have a happy ending so that us trans people are given hope through fiction and passion. I mean, no offense, but, I've read pleeeeeenty of cisgender heterosexual shit throughout my childhood and adulthood. I shouldn't have to actively search up queer fiction when you guys don't have to ask for cishet representation it's just handed right to you because you automatically assume the story you are about to read is going to be about you or a representation of you. I kinda want that privilege, ngl. I've had to resort to fanfiction to get my escapism. But, I want actual professional authors, not fanfiction writers. It just isn't the same. I'm sorry this was a long comment, but I don't think a cisgender person gets to dictate whether trauma and pain should happen in a transgender story. I think that should be left up to actual trans people to give a story the authentic experience that it deserves.
I’m surprised this book didn’t have him look up to Kalvin Garrah
he is kalvin garrah
Hi. I'm a cisgender writer who is writing a romance novel with a transgender love interest and while there is a mention of some trauma in the love interest's past, there is no transphobia/trauma in the main narrative. Every protagonist/major character is accepting and definitely not transphobic, and 4/5 main characters are LGBT (and the main character is a gay/asexual black man), and I was wondering if some mention of past transphobia from people no longer in the love interest's life would be cliche or transphobic as a background detail
If you have a Twitter or something, I can look over some of the specifics ( I'm trans lol )
I'd be glad to be one of your sensitivity readers if you need one! I'm transmasc and genderqueer, so I know a thing or two about the trans experience. Also I'd just love to read things where the majority is lgbtqia+ with one or two token allocishets, I just find that really neat
@@echosorcery7735 Hey, I'm sorry it's taken so long to reply, but I just got a twitter and I remembered this comment. I'm @KennaJenkins19 on Twitter and I would actually love to talk to you abt my manuscript/the specifics of the story if you're still interested. Feel free to DM me- I'd love to talk to you!
@@crocus8080 Hey, I'm sorry it's taken so long to reply, but I just got a twitter and I remembered this comment thread. If you have a twitter, I'm @KennaJenkins19 on Twitter and I would actually love to share my manuscript with you/get your opinion as a sensitivity reader if you're still interested. Feel free to DM me- I'd love to talk to you/get your opinion on my work!
Also, I'm so glad to hear that you're interested in stories with a group of LGBTQIA+ characters and their token cishet friend. My story follows a summer road trip and the main characters in my story are the MC, who is an asexual homoromantic necromancer; his love interest, the cute FtM roommate (who's also a witch); the MC's bisexual twin sister who can control water magic; the sister's undead jewish lesbian girlfriend; and the roommate's token straight best friend and Best Ally. As an asexual wlw writer, I just absolutely love majority LGBTQIA+ casts.
The minute u said the word friendzone I knew I'd hate this book, it's honestly such a pet peeve of mine that friendships are always considered like partner lite (@straight people that ditch all their friends to focus solely on their partners, what u doin?), like I figured this was just a normal experience and then I got a bf and no?? I love him SO MUCH but not more than my friends, just DIFFERENTLY.
I feel like once there are more books with trans main characters, some aspects of this book would be better. Currently it's easy to read what pony wants as a generalization of transmen and it kinda is, hopefully in a few years, ponys interests could just represent that one character(making the ending more palpable), but unfortunately we aren't there yet with representative.
I really like this video but would you do a video on leftist literature writing by women and poc?
30:29 at that is why i no longer write 1st person pov
you have to give the character a certain voice and thars hard and pov switches in 1st person give me whiplash
I had this book on my to read list so I’m glad you posted a review so now I don’t have to waste my time on it
It's really awesome that you're so authentic in your self-expression, I really wish I was brave enough to do the same to even just wear makeup now and then, sucks being pre-everything.
A good trans book is ‘the art of being normal’ and has the perspective of both ftm and mtf teenagers, i read it a few years ago so maybe it isn’t as great as i remember but it really got me through a lot, would recommend.
could be thinking of a different book but isnt this the one where the guy purposefully deadnames the girl because hes mad at her? (not in a case where it'd be dangerous to be gendered properly) and didnt it also have a lot of harmful stereotypes? again, i could be thinking of a different book or completely messing up plot points because i read it a few years back, but
@@parkere.6881 i mean i dont really remember much of that happening, i can vaguly remember maybe a bit of that but again we could nitpick every trans book out there for faults but i think its a helpful book, there may be steretypes but i think thats difficult to avoid, especially in young adult fiction. With the deadnamimg, i think even though triggering its an accurate aspect of being trans, my loved ones have done it out of anger before without thinking and its something thats atleast represented, if that is in the book which i think it is? I havent read it in years. All i know is that it was the book that started my transition, i read it before knowing i was trans and it was extremely important for me at that time, bad elements and all i still highly recommend people give it a read. Sometimes a bit of stereotyping doesnt do too much harm and is a useful tool for helping to educate people who dont know a lot about ftm or mtf trans people/subjects.
@@ouiouibaguette7701 idk i would never speak to someone again if they deadnamed or misgendered me "out of anger"
@@christmastree6817 I am glad you are so confident in yourself, but the privilege of being able to drop someone for doing something hurtful one time isn't available to everyone. Sometimes the people we depend upon for support can do transphobic things, including ourselves, and all we can do is forgive and hope that they learn from their mistakes. I can think of several times I was angry at myself and misgendered myself in my head at a time I was uncomfortable in my transition. To be clear, I admire your strength and don't want to change your mind or make you read a book that makes you uncomfortable, just I think the issue is slightly more nuanced than you are making it out to be. Stay well. :)
@@Lady_Rhea i get that but if i have the option to then im leaving them, no matter how much they apologize they knew what they were doing and the fact that they immediately jumped to deadnaming me shows they don't really respect me and that they view me as a girl.
For someone who wants to fly under the radar, Pony is the name that you go for?
I can’t with phobia, assault and self harm it’s tew much 🙄😭
Even with bad reviews I like to check out books, but this right here imma sit this out. Also DAngelo Wallace made a great video about this misogynist “Alpha guru” on RUclips.
I agree on basically all your opinions about the topics you've discussed. I especially love the part where you talked about why thewhole "born in the wrong body" thing might not be exactly accurate. Very easy to understand and educational. I recently had a discussion about this with a cis person to which I was trying to explain this and I don't think I was capable of bringing across the sentiment entirely accurately.
But I think the Harry Potter thing still leaves room for discussion. Do I think JKR is terf? Absolutely. Will I buy any HP products in the future? Hell no, I don't want to give her any support financially or otherwise with the knowledge I have.
But I already own the books. She's not profiting from me reading my years old copies. HP is a thing that got me through my teenage years and was a source of comfort in hard moments. I' ve been questioning and struggling with my gender for several years now (I actually think I'm trans but there's always that voice that tells you "what if you're not?"). And I absolutely recognize that her ideology is super, super wrong and harmful and stupid and full of hate. That's why I don't want to support her.
But making it out as if everyone who still enjoys some aspect of Harry Potter (even when they're not supporting JKR in any way anymore or never did so) is interently evil and transphobic doesn't exactly sit right with me as well.
If you don't want to interact with any Harry Potter stuff at all anymore I totally respect that and you.
Nevertheless, there are a lot of people that have found such a massive support, friends and happiness within the Harry Potter community that I find it a bit harsh to demonise these people for still having an investment in the series.
I've never been a fan of JKR as a person (never looked up to her or really watched any interviews or sth) but rather a fan of a story that helped me escape in this magical world where I somehow felt alright. Idk.
27:15 even without reading a book like that, people are still affected by the knowledge that statistically trans people dont typically make it to age 30 and that statistically we're gonna be assaulted in some way
like the stats alone have given me deep rooted anxiety and while its good to know and im glad to hear other peoples experiences, i still have bathroom anxiety that was only further internalized and compounded by getting weird looks from other men when i used the mens room back when i was still trying to pass as cis
i cant imagine what a book like this would do to a trans kid
When you were reading the quote from the rich kid I totally thought it was gonna say “i didn’t chose the rich life, the rich life chose me” lol anyway sounds like an awful book
I'd love to have a friend like you. Like your passionate about stuff i'm passionate about even if it's not the exact same thing. For exemple, im not that much into books but i always find myself watching your book reviews entirely simply cause the general theme interest me. I am passionated by trans representation so this video is really interesting. How i'd listen to a friend talk about a trans book they read.
“As smart as Jeff bezos” PARDON ME WHILE I HAVE A STROKE.
I am a trans guy, and I personally loved this book. Before I read it I recognized that it was written by someone in their 40s and prepared myself for some outdated language because when the author was growing up he obviously had different language to describe his transness when he was a teenager and that projected onto pony which although it came out in 2020 because the author experienced these things in the 80s and 90s it would be different. And I think it’s fair that he used outdated language because that was his experience just as long as people recognize that that language is outdated due to the context. I also saw less problems with Pony’s misogynistic views and homophobic and transphobic actions Because he is still in high school and he is still a kid like obviously that doesn’t excuse everything completely but the tones of just trying to fit in and all he wanted to do was to just be like one of the guys in was to just fit in kind of fit the extremes he went to, to fit in. He recognized that they were wrong although he didn’t change his behaviour it was still known. I also saw how naïve he was because of his circumstances with his age and where he grew up and who his parents were. I know when I was a younger teenager and still closeted and finding all of this information online about being trans a lot of it wasn’t the best and I can recognize that now and I felt this was more of he was still in that stage of not knowing any better and doing what he felt he needed to do which was overcompensating be extremely masculine and all of these things because he was struggling with his internalized transphobia.
Okay, so back when I thought I was cis (I don't identity as trans, however, just not cis-) I was so impressionable to really anyone who portrayed lgbt+ people or talked about them at all and I was so starved of it that I just listened to anyone. I used to be really transphobic and gatekeepy because I listened to people like Blaire White. (I would like to yeet past self down a set of stairs). If I had read this, I probably would have a very inaccurate impression of what it meant to be transgender-
Anyways, i just subscribed and I like your eyebrows 👍
Perhaps it's called "Stay Gold" because of The Outsiders. You know, "Stay gold, Ponyboy, stay gold."
thank you for reviewing this book bc i kept seeing this on booksloth (a goodreads alternative bc fuck amazon) & i was interested in stay gold bc i figured it would like reinvent the outsiders with its references bc s.e. hinton is a homophobe but this sounds like a huge bummer.... i just want to read a romance book where the love interest is trans like me and not fall into toxic masculinity w/out critical thinking
have you read ‘I wish you all the best’ by mason deaver ?? it’s ownvoices trans YA/romance and i loved it. and i look forward to your videos 👀
@@graveyardpansy ive seen it and have it on a wishlist to read soon! and ty 🥺
You know, every single thing that sounds odd to you about the way this character talks about transness despite claiming to be in contact with trans communities makes a lot more sense if you imagine that the character is talking about truscum spaces. They use the same language, they have the same reasoning and there is a disturbing amount of toxic masculinity going rampant among those circles. Even the characterization of Max sounds a lot like how truscum think all "progressives" are like: constantly mad at the "traditional trans" that just wants "to live a normal life" because, I don't know, selfish reasons or something.
I haven't read the book, but for what you said, it seems to me like you as the reader are meant to sympathize with Pony (such a good name wasted on a character like this) and see Max as incredibly insensitive because, omg, how can Max not understand that Pony just want to live his life, it's just like those ugly mean SJWs with all their coming out videos and talking about how you can be trans without dysphoria, ew.
the "wait till 18 to start hrt" thing is kinda common in the US, especially in conservative states like alabama, georgia, texas, etc
In those states even hormone blockers are illegal for minors
Shit sucks yo
"Love interest is a transphobe"
Whewwwwwww oh jeez
bless you for this video, i'm always like, ready to forgive so much in trans books because you know.... one needs to do so in order to enjoy reading books about characters that resemble oneself but its always good to know going in what you're about to forgive and what not.
also i wouldn't say that the language used regarding transition that you showed as examples isn't used in trans spaces, i'd say it's not used in like... how to put this... Normal Trans Spaces, it's for sure still used like that in transmed spaces as far as im aware
I SAW THE COVER PICTURE AND HAD FLASHBACKS TO READING THIS
I remember ranting to my friends for HOURS about this 😭😭
I agree with a lot of your points, but some of the stuff you said Pony should know, I didn’t even know. I came out 4 years ago and have been obsessively looking for lgbtq+ terminology (specifically stuff related to being ftm) for the past 6 years. I live in the fairly progressive state of Oregon (yay drugs) but I feel like I can imagine how Texas could be different to where I am. I have a feeling that, especially in smaller towns, there is still a lot of the mentality of men paying for the food, and holding the door open, and saying misogynistic pick up lines (not saying it’s great, just saying it happens). And in a similar way, I feel like even the queer terminology there might be a little behind. There were probably less trans specific resources that he could use, even at the lgbtq+ centers, which meant that he relied a lot on the internet like he said. And even if he found an ftm RUclipsr who could educate him, the likelihood of him actually learning all the proper terms from that RUclipsr? Not actually supper high. A lot of the stuff is pretty outdated, and Pony may not even be listening for the exact terminology they use (prob focused on top surgery results), and instead focus on random articles not written by trans authors. My feelings about the book? Your review reminded me of how much I had to cringe through the transphobia, and homophobia. I know that subjectively, not a great book. But it’s still hard for me to say that any book with a trans main character is bad, cause it’s really hard for me to find any. Anyways, uhhh, love your videos byyyyye~
Sorry it's called Stay Gold and the main character's name is Pony I-
The Outsiders who
Some of these quotes just rocketed me back to when I used to hang out with incels lmao
this was a good video, i dislike the book a lot and def wont be reading it, i wonder what went through the authors head while writing it, maybe its drawn from their own experiences
ur vibe is so calming help i love ur videos 😭
im a trans guy, and i have very mixed feelings about the book. on one hand, i really do like it, i see alot of myself in pony, A LOTT. i can relate to him on so many aspects, and ive even had similar traumas with hate crimes and shit. i do believe georgias character could've been handled better, it felt like a punch in the face when she turned him down for being trans and worried about being a lesbian, i felt like she was saying that to me personally. it actually made me have to take a step back. but i also do feel for her, and i dont think shes fully a transphobe.. her transphobia was centered around the fact that she was worried what dating a trans person would mean for her image, and idk why but i cant really blame her? ive met people like georgia, infact i fell inlove with a girl like her, worried about her image, scared of what dating a trans man could mean for her reputation. it isnt black and white, and i can understand, and i do believe georgia redeemed herself in the end by fixing things with pony; however the end felt like it was going a mile a minute. i have definate issues with parts of the book, i wasnt happy with how they handled Max's character. he felt pushy, and it felt weird how pissed he was about pony being in the closet, he of all people should know its a dangerous world to be out; specially in texas. i have alot of thoughts on this book, but overall, i liked it, i found it comforting to see myself represented, to see how my dad treats me on paper, to see someone else who feels like i do and thinks like i do. i cant dislike the book, it has issues of which i wont deny, but i just cant dislike it
i would love to hear your perspective on the book beast. it kinda has a similar plot line of this book, but i personally like it alot better and there's loads more character growth...
i read this book like 2 years ago and i remember liking it, but i also was looking for any snippet of representation and i hadnt realized how problematic it was. i also read the other tobly mcsmith book and i remember liking it more, but again, i was looking for any bit of representation, and i might re-read it to see if its similar to stay gold.
My boyfriend used to live in Texas, and he started T way back in 8th grade.
your earrings are sick as hell!! they give me helena vibes :-)
i really wanna shave half of my eyebrows off but idk how to do it so it doesnt end up looking shit
I saw this at indigo on Saturday and my only thought was “THE OUTSIDERSSSSSSS”
I WAS ASSIGNED THE GENDER OF F̷̧̢̢͇̣̺̼̮͕̙̖̠͚̲͂̌͑͐̅̈́̿̌͗̋͋̈́̑̓̉̿̌͒͋͐́̋̀͒͐͆̃͆̈̎̅͋͌͛̎͘̚͜ͅͅ ̵̧̢̧̨̭͉̻̰̙͔̗̫͖̥̝̹̹̣̣̗̗̦̞͓̳͕̰͔̮̞̯͔̻̳͔̺̞̤̫͎̭͎̘̜͖́É̶͇͚̼̥̟̝̖̥̖͂̃̄̑͂̑̐̑̎̈́͛̈́͋̏̍̉̏̒͋̔͊͑̌̓̃̊̊͘͝ ̵̢̥̼͍͙̤̱͙̺̪̟̥̯̭̝̹̰̱̹͔̯̮̤̮̺͖̹̣̣̯͑̐͑̈͊̑̈́̉̆̓͐̾͛̚̚͜ͅͅM̵̡̛̗̮̦͈̥͔̫̩̊̓̈́̂̇̔́̔͝ ̵̤̣̌͑̅͛͐̐͗̌̾̊͗̓̆̌̒́̽̒͋͗́̈̓͛̅͠Ą̸̡̢̢̧̢̼̘̦͖͇̺̰̟̦̫͈͚̫̻̥̜̲͕͍̻͈̼̣̗̦̞̻̯̫̹̤̼̺̹̑̒̆̈͗̔̌́̊̿̈͊̌͆̇͐͆̀͝ ̴̡̧̛̛̺͇͈̯̺̞̰͈̯̬̫̜̠͕͇̖̠͎͖̥̪̰͙̙̗͉͉̉͌̎͋͋̈͐̀͛̄̅͆̾̓͆͗̏̉̓͆̅̅̚͘͜͠L̸̢̨̨̡̛̟̲̳̤̙̟̠̳̻͕͔̫̱̲͔̺̬̦̤̩̳̘̪̹̜̗̘̗̖̬̞̠̬̗̬͖̞̰̞̞̓̈́̐̂̀͗̓́̊̎̃̒̈́̏̽̑͋͗̓̈́̀͂̿́͒̄͛̔͗̈́̋̉̈́͐̓̕̕͜͝͠͝ͅ ̴̨̡̢̛̩̺͇̜̭̺͚̮͉̭̆͆̾͌͊̔͌̓̌̑́́̑̉̈͊͑̽̌̄̀̆͌͘͘͠͠ͅE̷̫͗̏̂͗̀̌͑̓̇̎̓́̏͂̀̀͌͗̆͑̽̄̂͆́̋͒͐͊̓͘͘͘͘̕͝
Completely unrelated but your eyes are so cool! I don't know if it's just the camera, but they kind of fluctuate from blue to gray to greenish and sometimes brown when you look down? Either you got magic eyes or you got magic eyes that are only activated by filming idk.
this outfit gives is exactly what i wanna dress like tbh, also the electric toothbrush in the background is the best part ngl
Pony hanging out with his dudes:
|
😔 | talking about football
_____________________ or some shit
|
😌👌 | homophobia
This video I do generally agree with! Good points! But specifically the part where you were going “getting on T before 18 is common” just kinda… triggered me? I live in Texas and even at 18 it is so so hard to get absolutely anything done ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
No hate, it’s just really hard to get on T here and almost nobody can before 18
kalvin garrah ghost wrote this book and no one can convince me otherwise🥴🥴🥴
Goodness,this book sounds pretty awful.
I am not a trans person in any way,I’m just a probably bi,young teen girl who watches gacha and wants a romance book in my age range that doesn’t include alot of sexual scenes
(my only source for romance is wattpad fanfics,sometimes ao3)
I have a decent idea for a trans woman called Elyssa in a fantasy world with her being a y2k,magical girl inspired shapeshifter who is very feminine,flamboyant and bubbly.I have already spotted a problem with her though.
It’s mostly collateral damage,her personality is quite similar to hideri from blend S,who is explicitly a male crossdresser who does it for fun,also known as a trap.I don’t want Elyssa to be seen as a trap,it’s very disrespectful to trans woman and would ignore a decent part of Elyssa’s character in her backstory.I’m also scared of making her whole character trans exposition and the “be yourself” narrative.
I think this video is a great way of pointing out problems with trans representation that most cis people wouldn’t notice and make from lack of research.
(I think the author in this video is trans but that’s beside the point)
Thanks Ashton!
Also if any trans people or experienced writers want to listen to an incredibly long comment about Elyssa and critique it,feel free to ask!
i am not trans but i picked up the book because it looked like fanfiction that got published and i thought it would be funny to read. i didn’t know this was supposed to be a trans story.
my main problem with this book is how there’s literally no growth from no one, every character sucks, and it very cringy and unrealistic.
the author is probably older than the target audience and that’s why his view on young people is really outdated and that also explains the outdated ideas and vocabulary that you mentioned.
the reference to the outsiders at the end made also very mad because the author misinterpreted the whole point of the outsiders and i feel like he has never read the book before or even watched the movie.
i also cannot believe how incredibly unrealistic it is. these kids are drinking alcohol every single day after practice in like a monday afternoon. that doesn’t happen. specially with athletes.
i enjoyed some romance parts of it and thought it was cute until georgia just went full trasnphobe the rest of the book.
Wow I can’t believe you read Kalvin Garrah’s biography
omg you should totally review trans book "my brother's name is jessica" by cis author john boyne. it was a complete waste of my money :)
I’ve seen that book a couple times at my local bookstore, which does have some pretty good lgbtq+ books, and a good section full of lgbtq+ stories (I got a great history one there), but never read it. My friend also read it, but said it was a bit iffy and left it at that (though she’s cis and kinda learning a lot about trans people through me, and doesn’t really know much about transphobia) What went wrong?
@@soyboy6953 oh boy, that book went wrong in so many ways. spoilers, sort of:
1) its written in the perspective of a cis boy, so its like boohoo, his trans sister is such a burden on him
2) he refuses to accept her for basically the entire book, and it becomes v apparent that it was written for cis ppl
3) their parents were so one dimensional almost like a caricature of "unnaccepting parents trope"
4) the obvious misgendering and deadnaming in the title and summary
there's more but that's the gist of it
@@cosmo_junk oh no. That’s just awful...
It's actually US centric to say no trans people talk that way in 2021. Especially for multilingual trans people there are serious problems with paralleling the English language in how we talk about ourselves. Like take not assuming gender... In English we don't but we have almost no way of talking about someone in German that way and we already struggle with the grammar of a language literally in which our entire cultural background is.