LOSING YOUR IDENTITY AS A MOM // & how to find yourself again
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- Опубликовано: 6 июл 2024
- LOSING YOUR IDENTITY AS A MOM // & how to find yourself again
hi friends. today we're talking about losing your identity as a mom & how to find yourself again. this video is definitely a more serious/vulnerable video for me. my heart for this video is to just help one mom that is currently going through this same struggle of losing yourself in motherhood. i know how hard it is so please feel free to reach out to me if you ever need someone to talk to.
i never really got to it in the video but i did try medication for two months and i did not personally find it helpful for me and my anxiety. i didn't like the side effects either so i talked to my doctor and i weaned off of it. i now just use what i talked about in the video and some cbd when needed to help my anxiety. this is my own personal journey & i am not a doctor & i am not telling any of you what to do. just sharing my experiences with losing my identity as a mom & how i found myself again.
xx
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i seriously got so emotional filming this & just thinking about everything we go through as moms 😭 let me know if any of you can relate to my story or if you find any of these tips helpful! 🤍
I am going through this so bay right now. I am a single mom 2 boys one who is also diagnosed with Autism. I left their father a year ago after 17 years of domestic violence and we moved in with my mom. I have no friends, and my mom never will watch my kids for me to get away. I am so isolated and my kids are very attached to me. I feel like I am depressed and I also think I have PTSD from all the trauma. Thank you for making this video
I've been there leaving a DV relationship. It's so hard but I hope & pray that you're doing better. It takes a long time to heal after dealing with trauma. Give yourself time and it's okay to feel all of the things you're feeling. All the best to you 🙏🏾
I just wanted to let you know that I can relate, 1000%. I actually felt so sad looking up "how to find yourself as a mom" on RUclips. But thankfully there you were! I feel much better that I'm not alone. Thank you for praying for me. I have kids ages 10, 6, and almost 4. I remember being in the thick of having very little kids. Now I'm about a year away from my youngest starting Kindergarten and I realized I don't even know who I am besides a wife and mom. I'm trying to discover my likes and interests, and pray on my purpose. I've been a mom since I turned 18 so I never had the chance to discover myself. This is a new season for sure and I'm trying to finally make that time for myself. I've just recently started giving myself a pedicure every 2 weeks. I work out as my me time and guilt free let my kids watch TV. I went to a mom's group at my church once, that is way out of my comfort zone so it'll take me practice lol. But my most recent change has been signing up to volunteer. It is a 3 hour per week commitment, which is why I haven't done it. But I really want to, and I feel like God is calling me to it, it is a Christian pregnancy center. If I can help encourage even one mom, and help them choose life for their baby, it would be worth it. Thanks again for this video. It really was so comforting and helpful!
Thank you for your comment 🤍 i know exactly how you feel but it sounds like you’re taking the right steps to find yourself again and that pregnancy center sounds amazing ive always wanted to do something like that!
You reached out to me. 1000 miles aways years later. I am slowly trying to find myself and I'm lost. I can't even recognize myself in the mirror 😭. Thank you for this
1. Decide you want to change, and ask yourself what you’re done with. (Ex. Being tired, overweight, making excuses.)
2. Make a list of things you’d like to accomplish and change in the next year or so.
3. Focus on your health. (Ex. Drink more water, eat nourishing foods, diet, excercise)
4. Go outside. (Ex. Taking walks, going for runs, doing yoga)
5. Exercise.
6. Schedule time alone doing your favorite hobby. (Ex. Walking around target while eating your favorite pretzel)
7. Ask for help and support. People are happy to help you.
8. Find faith within a community. (Church, Community Circles, Gatherings.)
I relate so much to this. Literally had my 2 boys a few months apart. & my oldest son was diagnosed with autism too. I definitely feel like my identity is revolved around being a mom. It’s so hard for me to give myself a break. Having a severely autistic child is also way more draining than having a neurotypical child. And nobody ik can really relate to my struggles. 😩
Heyyyy. It’s currently 6am and my child with autism has not slept. Moms in general have it hard but this autism stuff is like parenting x3. I have completely lost my identity as a person. I don’t even know what happiness looks like for me anymore. I’m starting to resent my child feeling like life would be better if I never had her. I just want to enjoy motherhood like the internet moms do. But the reality is this is the hardest, most life changing thing I’ve ever gone through, and I don’t know how to turn it around for the better. I feel like I ruined my life and now this is my life for the rest of my life 🥲
@@Mscokrissy715 I totally understand. My son struggles with sleeping also. On top of that he is super energetic. And that is causing problems with living in an apartment on the second floor. It’s definitely tuff because you never know if/when they are going to be able to live independently without you being there. You are not alone. And just remember that is your baby. & life isn’t easy for her either. It is the love that keeps us autism moms going everyday. ❤️
Widowed dad of an almost 6yr old girl here. I feel this applies to me too, having lost myself somewhere in a relationship that ended in cancer and now working full time and a full time dad with no family around. I've even lost the partial friend support of my late wife's friends with kids when I started dating someone new. Now that new relationship is on shaky ground because I haven't been able to find enough me to put into it and the parenting responsibilities have put a strain on it, even with an occasional sitter. Hate to think I need to let it go and just take myself out until I find myself or my daughter becomes less clingy. I don't want to do anything to break my father daughter bonds but it's a lot on me and I can't keep up with her constantly. 😣
Hi! I totally relate. I love love love being a mom but sometimes I feel like thats all I do or all I CAN do. I totally agree about doing stuff for ourselves, we deserve it! 💕☺️✨
Yes exactly!! You’re more than a mom! 👏🏻💖
Thank you so much for posting this & being so vulnerable. I'm currently almost 4 months postpartum with my firstborn & am starting to realize that I have been ALL about my son & have forgotten about myself in a way. Today begins a chapter where I start to make some changes to create a good balance between who I am as a person, a mom, a wife, etc. Wish me luck! Thank you again!!
Thank you so much. The car has been my new meltdown Spot. I needed this so much. Good bless you Mama
Thank you for this!!! Some of us did need to hear it!!! ❤❤
That pivotal moment when you are just done with throwing yourself away!
Yes 👏🏻👏🏻
Thank you for being vulnerable enough to share! ❤
Wow, I got emotional watching your video. Everything you said resonated with me. It's so easy to lose yourself in motherhood, but we def have to make time for ourselves and pour back into ourselves like we pour into everyone else. Thank you so much ♥︎
So important! Thanks for being vulnerable and sharing your story❤️
🤍🤍🤍
My only time I get for myself is having a shower or going to the bathroom and just sitting there that's my only time I get for myself ...
Thank you so much for making this video.
I was looking for moms who are facing the same issue and am glad that am not alone in this struggle.
Not alone at all!!
I have been through this, its a big adjustment. Sometimes you can feel like your a mum and not your own person anymore. I am completely the same, I can totally relate to thinking that I would have a break when Alice slept. This is such a great video to bring awareness to people.
Yes that’s pretty much exactly how I felt! & thank you so much & thanks for watching 🥰
I definitely feel this!! It’s so important to not just be a mom. You need other hobbies, activities, friends, goals and things to look forward to in your life. Loved the tips and vulnerability! And date nights are a game changer! We try to do one once a week even if it’s a “stay at home” date! ❤️❤️
Totally! I wish I had realized it all sooner! And yesss stay at home dates are 👌🏻
I got so emotional when you did 😭😭 cause omg i need to do the things i need for my happiness. Thanks for this video
I hope you’re feeling a little more like yourself 🥰 prioritize you mama!!!
Came across this video just now and it helped me so much 🥺 needed this !
Great job!--keep up the videos and all of your “me” outlets, especially the prayer and church 💪🏽❤️-I think all women go through this.
Thank you!!
First of all, LOVE YOUR GLASSES!
Thank you, Warby Parker!! 🙌🏻
I can relate SO freaking much to this. Thank you.
I have that "eating something myself" thing established a while ago and already feel so much better. I still have a long way to go. My birthday is coming up soon and someone asked me what I want and I could not think of anything. All that came to mind where things for my little one...
Such an easy funk to follow into, and even though on some level we’re aware of how toxic it is, we don’t acknowledge it for far too long and before we know it our mental health is suffering and our relationships are suffering. The newborn phase was rough for me! it was all encompassing and took every bit of energy out of me and that lasted for awhile even as my daughter went into toddlerhood. My daughter is now almost 2, and much like you I finally made my health a priority which has helped me mentally as well- I lost weight, I bought new clothes…I’m a new and improved me and a better mom and girlfriend for it! Happy for you ✌🏼
Definitely! Postpartum in general is a really rough time because you’re still recovering but constantly needed. But it goes by so fast you just wanna soak up all the cuddles!! Once the kids get a little older you have a little room to breathe and can focus on yourself more. Happy for you too!
I cried listening to this. I needed this. I can't believe I searched "new mom loss of identity" but I just realized this afternoon that I can't seem to find my vibe...my me. I'm glad I came across this video. Thank you for sharing.
I hope you can find some time for yourself this week 💖
Thank you so much! 💕 you are the first person that said everything I am experiencing right now! 💕 Mommy of 2. I am so lost and needing to relearn who I am … 💕
Give it time :) you will find yourself again you just have to learn to prioritize yourself!
Loved this video so much! I needed this so badly😩 thanks for sharing! You can tell how happy you are! You are glowing!❤️
Thank you!! 🥺 I’m so glad it helped! Reach out if you ever wanna chat!
@@catherinelorene9914 missing seeing your videos! Hope y’all are doing good!❤️
@@hillcountryhands6604 my camera has been in the shop getting fixed 😭 hoping to get it back this weekend! But we are doing good!! 🤍
@@catherinelorene9914 oh no! Can’t wait to see new videos soon!❤️
Wow, I am so happy I am not alone. This is exactly how have I been feeling and this is really helpful. Thank you so much for making this video. I just started therapy for this reason, I have no idea who I am, what I like, what interests me, etc.
Therapy will be a huge help! Sending you all the prayers mama 🤍
I was having a bath "my only alone time" and this was the video I needed to see. I literally entered something like .. finding yourself after a baby in the search bar. And your video cane up and I loved that it was laid back and real. You literally said everything I have been thinking. The pandemic happened 1 week after my son was born like lock downs and everything and it has been so hard mentally and physically.
Yes 🙌🏻 my younger son was maybe 2 weeks old when covid hit. It was rough! Hang in there mama it’ll get better 🤍
Your saying so many things I can relate to. Even more about the food. My body got use to one meal a day. I have 4 oldest is 11 and youngest is 2. I’m lost and knowing it’ll be ok by watching your video gives me hope ❤️
🤍🤍🤍
❤❤❤Thank you for that video!!!❤❤❤
I'm going through this right now
This is me 1000% . I became a mom to twins at 22 and, honestly, did not even know who I was before becoming a mom. Now, I'm more lost than ever and just feel like I am now making an effort to start finding myself for the first time. It's sad, I know, lol. Today is my first day on this journey and I'm hopeful
I got emotional as well because I relate so much... you've made me hopeful thar I'm not just dumb or hopeless lol. Thank you so much lovey
Twin mamas are such an inspiration to me, I hope that you can see how amazing you are!
@@catherinelorene9914 Definitely teared up, lol. Parenthood is HARD regardless of how many kiddos and how old, lol. I reached a breaking point yesterday and sobbed for a couple hours... my brain had been overwhelmed and overthinking for most of of the day (as I usually do) but yesterday I mentally reached a point where I was just exhausted. Thank goodness for my boyfriend.... he reminded me that I needed to first love myself and fill my own cup BEFORE I even try to fill everyone else's. It's honestly just sooooo hard because that's been my whole life pretty much. I really want to get better and find myself as an individual. I never got to do that before and it's become difficult since becoming a momma but I have to find a way lol.
Thank you so much..
This is and was totally me.
Watching this in 2024, I really need a break 😫
I needed 😢this video thank you sooooo much I been just mom for 14 years
❤️🩹❤️🩹 you’re doing great mama!
Catherine, THANK YOU!!❤🤗
💛💛💛
I typed'' I am a Mom and get lost in life'' and I found your video.Thank you so much for making this video. And I feel better after seeing all the comments. I am not alone.
Not alone at all!! It’ll get better ❤️🩹
Thanks for sharing - applicable to fathers too
Thank you for this. Have been having a hard time mentally balancing my social life and work life and mom life and family life and wife life and me life all around lately. Balance is hard to figure out. Some days are great some are rough and I don’t really have close mom friends. I need to meet some cool ladies!!
That’s totally normal! I struggle with balance too for sure. & yes! I swear by quality mom friends 🙌🏻
❤ it was hard adjusting being a new mother
I am not a mom yet but like I don’t want to be like this.
You just have to make yourself a priority & prioritize self care early on & you’ll be fine 🤍
I'm going through this now. I've just been crying at night bc I'm trying to find my balance again. Between being a wife, mom and career.
This gets the best of us ❤️.
It is so so hard. You are doing a great job!
Try doing it at 33 😩 Im a ftm and Ive spent my twenties partying, travelling, I had so much energy. I would be able to go out partying till 6am and go to work and go out again. I assume I would have been able to handle sleepless newborn nights better at that age, and probably would enjoy my baby more. Its really tough doing it for the first time at 33.
I related with everything else in the video, thank you ❤️
I didnt mean to take away from your experience, maybe it came out as that. Im just crushed from sleep deprivation and having a really hard time 😞
@@tequilabumbum4373 no worries I think it’s hard for everybody! I have an autoimmune disease that causes a lot of pain & fatigue so I feel like I’m 40 haha. You got this just keep making yourself a priority too 🤎
I am so lost in motherhood right now. Also have separate anxiety and the thought of leaving them screams me.. mine are 10, 5 and 19 months and I’ve spend the last 10 years been all in on motherhood and only just having this realisation well I’ve know for a long time that I don’t know who I am anymore but only recently accepted it and decided I am going to try and find me again 😅 eventually x
You got this!! It’s hard but so worth it 🤍
Thank you so much 🧡🧡 I wanna be your friend 😇
I clicked on this video so fast
Glad you could relate!
The looks absolutely 💯 👌 nice video stay connected stay bless 🙌 👍👍
Thank you! 🤍
I’m in the thick of this right now and it’s so hard to explain an identity crisis.
Ugh I’m sorry you’re going through this right now! sending prayers your way 🤍
Mary, I'm in it too🤗❤
We are the same. Like the same. I get it.
💛💛
It’s a nice thought but if I don’t handle literally everything then nobody else will lmao
I thought I was the only one 🥲
Definitely not! 🤍