Mothers Not Martyrs | How to embrace motherhood without losing yourself

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  • Опубликовано: 14 июл 2024
  • Jess shares her personal story of navigating the identity shift from professional life into motherhood. We discuss ways women lose themselves in motherhood, why we put ourselves last and how we can rediscover a sense of self. We talk about why pursuing your own passions actually makes you a better mom and how to value yourself as a PERSON who is also a mother.
    Thank you all for listening to Season 2. We value every single one of you so much. We're going to take a break for a few weeks and see you again soon!
    Join ⁠Very Good Mothers Club⁠ to be a part of our community and join our live monthly calls (4th Tuesday of every month-including during this break)!
    Find Jess at ⁠Jessica Hover⁠ on RUclips and ⁠@jess_hover ⁠on Instagram
    Find Layne ⁠@enquiryco⁠ on Instagram
    Check out our new store at:
    www.verygoodmothersclub.com
    @verygoodmothersclub
    See you on instagram!
    @jess_hover
    __________________
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Комментарии • 22

  • @madisonjane9865
    @madisonjane9865 Год назад +20

    I feel like one of the hardest parts about parenthood is that one parent has to stay home with the kids due to cost of childcare, but then you can hardly afford to live (if you can) with one parent working. It is just a whole new level of stress.

    • @ChristyZilka
      @ChristyZilka Год назад

      Yesssss. I have been there and now my husband has gone back to work but it's not any better with childcare eating his entire paycheck, but how long can he stay out of work? This is truly so stressful and not sustainable. It's so many years of financial stress fir many families before kids can start school that's free. I feel for you so much xo

    • @audreybringgold6217
      @audreybringgold6217 Год назад

      I look forward to when my kids are all old enough and in school so I can get a part-time job in the day. But yeah money is tight.

  • @angel4utasia
    @angel4utasia Год назад +3

    I mourned my old self when i became I mother. I love being a mother 100% this is the life I want.
    But i liked the old me to, she was really cool and hot and had this sass to her. She was amazing at her job - which i left this year after it not working with me being a mother now. It is so hard to have motherhood being a added part of you. When your physical body completely changes (especially for me) and you mind completely changes to.

  • @Dana-mb1hd
    @Dana-mb1hd Год назад +7

    I really appreciate you both. Thank you for helping me feel not so alone as a mama❤

  • @katyhorrocks6320
    @katyhorrocks6320 Год назад +2

    I remember crying at nursery drop off because they (rightly) told me they couldn’t take her when she was unwell. I was unwell too and had no clue how to look after my baby all day when I felt so rotten. Nursery staff must see a lot of that….

  • @eleanor4759
    @eleanor4759 Год назад +4

    So genuine, so wise, so helpful, as always! You two are just gems ❤️

  • @momentswithdesire994
    @momentswithdesire994 Год назад +1

    I appreciate you both touching up on this subject. Im a FTM and its definitely been a roller coaster for me. Trying to navigate being a mom but also going through what feels like an identity crisis. It can definitely be very conflicting and oftentimes adds this weight that can become very heavy and burdensome. Im still trying to stay afloat, motherhood has definitely had its rewards and its moments and i know i would not trade it for anything. But knowing their are others out their, other moms who feel the same way it makes me feel less alone. I think one of the things i was told that really, i feel like tore me up inside, was hearing that i couldnt ask for help because it was apart of life and this is the expectation. It really made me feel like their was something wrong with me that i wasnt this supermom doing it all and on my own.
    So thank you for sharing your experiences and sharing these very real and raw moments because motherhood is not just black and white. I feel like their is a whole myriad of colors and it comes in phases. And some days it gets easier other times it gets harder. But in the end, motherhood is not for the faint of heart. Its a tough 24/7 job that doesnt end. But its so rewarding when you see your child smiling, happy, and healthy and knowing that they are fully loved and supported.
    What im learning is how to take time for myself. To pour back into myself all that i am giving. ❤❤❤
    Thank you so much 🙏
    This is the first that i discovered this channel and i love it so much. The realness of this the authenticity of this moves me. ❤

    • @enquiryco.6688
      @enquiryco.6688 Год назад +2

      Wow Desire, thank you so much for sharing your experience! What you are describing matches what I've heard from probably a hundred moms over the years. You couldn't be in better company ❤I hope that even the comments on this video are helping you feel less alone. It sounds like you are doing a really good job and I'm so happy you found your way here! xo, Layne

  • @eleanor4759
    @eleanor4759 Год назад +2

    CAN'T WAIT to watch this! Your podcast has quickly become my favourite, and increasing the only, podcast I listen to ❤

  • @anekakaul2356
    @anekakaul2356 Год назад +2

    I was really feeling lost as a single mother. Thank you so much for making this video - I missed watching your videos; you helped me get through my pregnancy =) Thanks again

  • @salina1595
    @salina1595 Год назад +2

    I was in YWAM too! But I came out of it almost not a believer lol that’s ok and I know not everywhere is the same so I’m encouraged to hear your experience ! ❤️

  • @cosmicconnect7772
    @cosmicconnect7772 Год назад +1

    I personally grapple with this mental juxtaposition of yes I want to still maintain my sanity and identity and autonomy, but simultaneously feeling like why on top of mothering and being a wife Do I still have to assert myself in the world as a person and make an impact. I’m overwhelmed at the never ending expectations that women carry. And it’s great for people who have the drive to do that. But in this current phase of being a 20 year old FTM to a 3 month old… the thought of doing one more thing is way out of the picture. Haha but I’m sure it’s temporary.

  • @lillianevans1614
    @lillianevans1614 Год назад +2

    Ah this is amazing!!
    Thank you guys for sharing! having a seven month old and a two year old I’m just starting to try to find myself a little bit more. (Sidenote I love seeing your plant grow throughout the episodes as we all grow as mothers)

    • @enquiryco.6688
      @enquiryco.6688 Год назад

      omg thank you for noticing my increasingly monstrous monstera 😍 it's taking over my life lol. i'm so happy to hear you are starting to reconnect with yourself! - Layne

  • @mylou1231
    @mylou1231 11 месяцев назад

    I see Jess listening and being sooooo over these questions ahah! No judgments really ❤️ I have just become a mom of twins almost 3 months ago at 32 and I have thought about it SO MUCH and was unsure. And it's the best thing ive done. Thinking back, we overthink but at the same time it's so fair not to take this decision lightly 👏❤️

  • @esterwikstrom
    @esterwikstrom Год назад +2

    I love this topic. Thanks for sharing :)

  • @ashleywall9886
    @ashleywall9886 Год назад +1

    Another amazing podcast. Thank you both!

  • @cosmicconnect7772
    @cosmicconnect7772 Год назад

    Also THANK YOU! For sharing this ladies, Really great episode!

  • @jenniferromero571
    @jenniferromero571 Год назад +1

    What if you already have and don't know how to just embrace being a mom? Allow yourself to be happy being a mom.

  • @heyniks1
    @heyniks1 Год назад +1

    I listened to several episodes of the podcast and I enjoyed it but got too confused by the similarity of your voices. I could not tell them apart and found it too distracting to continue. I also think the cohost does that annoying behavior of making her voice super soft/feminine/feathery which I really don't like. I'd prefer a strong, genuine voice. No woman has to soften/feminize/weaken her voice to be more appealing/less threatening

  • @iniutek9492
    @iniutek9492 Год назад +1

    You are saving my life! 😊 Since first day of motherhood. A year ago I was searching Google for the phrase "Does motherhood get better?" and I've found same answers as you Jessica 😮 Depression or martyr. Only you gave me hope and there I am, rockin it 🎉 I will always be grateful for you ❤