Married To A Controlling Husband - What To Do Next
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- Опубликовано: 24 июл 2024
- If you have a dominating and controlling husband, and you're trying to find your independence and to feel valued for who you are as a person, then this video is for you.
If you're looking for a video about how to control your husband, we're not talking about that here.
Control never works and will destroy your relationship.
First, for those women looking for how to define boundaries, speak up for themselves, and feel like an equal in their relationship, that's precisely what this video can help you with.
We cannot solve it in just a video, but I can tell you things that you can begin doing right now.
We at Marriage Helper have worked with thousands of relationships that have been affected by a controlling husband.
We want to help you as well.
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Feeling trapped is definately the word .
Ok so then what’s your advice for when he freaks out and there’s a huge fight and things get so much worse after you say no? Have you ever said no and said “I’m gonna do whatever I want” to someone super controlling? It’s not like they say “Oh, ok. Cool!” And then everything goes smoothly after that. They get super upset and angry and threatening. They may not get physically threatening, but they threaten in other ways. They use anger, intimidation, and gaslighting. Even if they are fundamentally “good people,” they do these things
So much this!!!
ya...i wanted answer for this very same qstn
My husband just gets ungry but doesn't let me know until Nother time he can show me he's poisoned in terrible thoughts of me😣
Yes.. so true
So many examples you mentioned here are abuse. These things can become extremely damaging to self esteem.
Sadly all the advice given in this video wouldnt work for me because in his eyes hes never wrong
I know that my husband has issues from his parents divorce, and substance abuse took his mother's life, and recognized his father's bad behavior. He has mimic his father's behavior by talking down to me, constant control on my move, and making sure I know that he is the main provider and is saving for me after his death.
He is a good person….and he is so stuck in his up bringing and parents divorced in early adulthood. He can’t see the problems.
Perfect description of how I lived for 35 MISERABLE years!
.+:2:3:4:9:0:5:6:2:1:4:1:1:4: whatzpp him I was like this be'fore I know who can he:lp you out text him now he can solve your problem:: don't waste your time here
+:2:3:4:9:0:5:6:2:1:4:1:1:4: whatzpp him I was like this be'fore I know who can he:lp you out text him now he can solve your problem:: don't waste your time here
Me too almost 40 yrs!!
@@cubnation I’m listening to this channel with incredulity -is it religious based where the goal is to remain married no matter what ?
I was heartened when she said leave the home if in danger which is crisis management but then what?
Description fits here as well 40 years. However spouse is a good person and always has been. I clearly see where control started when I visited the parents. So when I say I live with my way or Highway know why it happened. Good luck to all. I find it humorous that she says talk about issues with person who controls! Part of control for me is NO DISCUSSIONS unless they decide!!! So good luck with that.
they know exactly what they are doing. If they didn't then they wouldn't be able to refrain around other people and only target the spouse. They suddenly are not controlling when a divorce is filed and they have understood they can't manipulate people. They ask for forgiveness. So yes, they know exactly what they are doing and what their intention is. They know how to use subtle control as well. For example, never repair the house or let the lawn grown up knee high in weeds and bushes around the house. That's one way to keep friends away and keep the spouse isolated. They forced their spouses to pay for their own food on little money. The list goes on and on.
+:2:3:4:9:0:5:6:2:1:4:1:1:4: whatzpp him I was like this be'fore I know who can he:lp you out text him now he can solve your problem:: don't waste your time here
+:2:3:4:9:0:5:6:2:1:4:1:1:4: whatzpp him I was like this be'fore I know who can he:lp you out text him now he can solve your problem:: don't waste your time here
Controlling can be a very dangeroeuss thing,it can lead to seriouess mental illness.Some of these things are a bit similar in my situation.I am not the same person as I was before after I married him(mine).
I can not point to the exact time when it all changed but my husband turned into someone I did not recognized after 35 yrs of marriage & not getting his way on everything he accused me of being controlling, when he had control of finances, telling me that he was the one paying the bills; ...etc. Tried & succeded on putting my Alzheimer's mother in a home, told me exactly how the Divorce was going to go & stood his ground on no Alimony. After he got all he wanted tried to verbally mistreat me & I had enough!!!!
Please pray for me. My spouse is very controlling he won’t let me make any friends I’m not allowed to speak to my mother and my sister were really my brother I’m not allowed to ever get together with anyone or make new friends or talk with old friends. He finds a problem with everyone. The only place I’m allowed to go is grocery shopping pretty much that’s the only place he lets me go by myself and that’s because it puts food on the table for him. I’m not allowed to have conversations with anyone that’s OK with him otherwise he freaks out. He says I love them more than him and if I loved him I wouldn’t need any friends or anyone else in my life.
It’s not right, that is no life and not healthy. Please don’t allow him to take you away from you. We are to enjoy life and have joy, do you have joy?
Ryn for your life girl, he doesn't love you
Dr. John Deloney on RUclips.
Bravo ! I was a controlling husband for 21 years ! Until God put me in the exact position my wife would complain to me about how she needed people , interaction etc etc , well I have had a huge humbling with this , and it took this to get my attention, it overwhelmed me with guilt so bad, and mentally that I’m on antidepressants now to just realize my marriage is not over and I didn’t destroy it completely, because my wonderful wife is STILL with me , I can’t tell you how this has and is still a transition for me , meds and therapy for the damage I’ve done , and how it was conditioned to me from my childhood , heed my words 🙏🙏
+:2:3:4:9:0:5:6:2:1:4:1:1:4: whatzpp him I was like this be'fore I know who can he:lp you out text him now he can solve your problem:: don't waste your time here
+:2:3:4:9:0:5:6:2:1:4:1:1:4: whatzpp him I was like this be'fore I know who can he:lp you out text him now he can solve your problem:: don't waste your time here
Maybe my husband is a ‘great guy’ but has chosen to control my basic freedoms because say his father abandoned his mum when he was small and does not attempt to change after decades, this is horrendous behaviour and if his spouse for years directly asks him to change because his actions are causing her suffering -this is a bad person
So sorry to hear you are going through this. One of the things we teach is that people want out of a marriage because they don't feel liked, loved or respected. And being controlled falls under being disrespected. It definitely sounds like that's what was happening. But we know there's always hope even in situations like this. Please don't hesitate to reach out to us if we can help you friend.
My husband and I Ordered the PIES the other night. We wish we could do the save my marriage course now. But we will have to save up 😔. It’s hard when you have two kiddos to worry about. But that’s the whole reason we are working so hard to find a way to put our marriage back together!! We have two great kids who deserve both of us happy and healthy 💗
This is great that you and your husband are working so hard to save your marriage. It's also great to know that you all are thinking about your children as well. My spouse on the other hand could not care less about our children all of whom are under the age of 18. Through God's grace and mercy I'm just taking it one day at a time and moving forward with our lives without him. I can't change his mind or control what he does so I'm making the changes to be the best mom for our kids.
No one needs to be controlling over the other person .if your in a relationship its meant to be equal .no man or woman should be telling the other person what they can and can't do .its a relationship so you sit down best you can be honest and try and resolve the issues in hand .I know its always easier then said unfortunately some people won't listen or not prepared to talk or just ignore whats going on between them .men and women have equal rights don't let your partners control you .its a receipy for disaster if it can't be sorted .
Understanding what leads to these behaviors doesn’t help. He may have good intentions. But it’s not going to help. His mother was very controlling and an alcoholic. I can’t be with him anymore, and while I’ll miss him, I don’t have any other choice. I can understand where he’s coming from all day and how he got this way. But it doesn’t help. He doesn’t give me access to our finances and that’s that. I have zero ability to do anything and that’s that. The end. He also won’t let me drink. He flips out and leaves and threatens to leave. And I have zero friends. And that’s that. So it’s easy to say just say no, that’s not how it works. I know I have a right to do what I want, but it’s not how it works.
Im in the same situation sadly. We are not even married yet he says we are by common law. There is absolutely no such thing. He refuses to legally marry me on paper.
How awful 😡😡😡😡 and scary. I'm glad you made that choice
I really hope you have more of these controlling videos! My husband and I both really guilty of controlling each other. I would be very interested to hear how to recognize your own controlling behavior. I find it hard to separate am I being controlling or am I rebelling against being controlled?
+:2:3:4:9:0:5:6:2:1:4:1:1:4: whatzpp him I was like this be'fore I know who can he:lp you out text him now he can solve your problem:: don't waste your time here
My husband literally said to me “I feel you need me in your life” as if I couldn’t function in life without him.
Is this demeaning or is this some type of manipulative control?
Would love to see the flip side of this video where you address how a husband can take steps to convince his wife he isn't controlling.
In my case, I had P TSD from years of my wife's addiction issues and once she cleaned up I know I was very paranoid and insecure for a few years which she mistook for controlling.
+:2:3:4:9:0:5:6:2:1:4:1:1:4: whatzpp him I was like this be'fore I know who can he:lp you out text him now he can solve your problem:: don't waste your time here
+:2:3:4:9:0:5:6:2:1:4:1:1:4: whatzpp him I was like this be'fore I know who can he:lp you out text him now he can solve your problem:: don't waste your time here
Thank you
My husband tells me what i can wear, a weekly allowance. If i don't do what he wants, he takes money away or punishes me with other things. He often threatens me daily. If we have a discussion or disagreement and he doesn't like it. He punishes me. I take care of my children, cook clean. Its never enough. It feels like bondage. I love him but I'm exhausted. He never says sorry ever. Today he put my exercise treadmill on the side of the road, i asked and begged him not to. He says you don't use it! Im like i want it please. I looked outside and he put it in the front yard. I was so hurt by his lack of empathy for me. He keeps whatever he wants, goes wherever he wants without telling me, he picks our movies we will be watching. My opinions don't matter. I want to leave. Also, i got a job but he said he's not sacrificing his job for mine. I never asked for that. I asked that he help maybe pick up kids from school and stuff. He said he can't. But, he won't let me wk night shifts because its too late. Seriously, im a prisoner. I don't have money or a place to go. I have two kids. I pray for a miracle 🙏
I was expecting more specific information and "what to do"
What if you telling him makes him end it all? If you weren't to tell him he would stay what do I do then?
Being assertive starts at the beginning when you meet….you dont then control takes over years go by then you start being assertive then it gets dangerous stepoing out of being a doormat changes everything be aware and careful ive seen it soo many times
The longer we are married the more controlling he becomes. It's become tyrannical at this point
You are speaking to me.
How to make them feel that it doesn't feel good when you are getting controlled at every step.its not like women wanna go out and cheat. But, when you are not controlled, you feel happy.
My ex used to treat me like his secretary. We have children together so he still tries to treat me like a maid. I am so glad I left him. His domineering me was horrible.
My husband always tells me
He’s making money,he’s paying bills and I would be on the street of if I didn’t get married with me,
I’m actually don’t know what to do without him,I was a house wife too long but he told me start working so I start working,is he controlling? Or am I just an idiot?
I only know one man that is going to therapy. In my whole life one man. It's too much of a stigma for most men to reach out.
No. Therapy inevitably blames him for all the problems and ends the marriage. I read one comment about therapy “we went into the office holding hands, by the end she was out the door looking at me asking why I behaved so poorly”
My wife and I went on dates after our initial counseling appointments, we are in individual counseling now, no focus on the relationship or connection at all anymore. She is “becoming a strong individual” which defeats the point of marriage.
I am in the same boat
My wife is super controlling. That's very exhausting.
+:2:3:4:9:0:5:6:2:1:4:1:1:4: whatzpp him I was like this be'fore I know who can he:lp you out text him now he can solve your problem:: don't waste your time here
I just got my relationship fixed through the help of a Spiritualist, and my ex husband is back to me and we are living happily like ever before
Whatsap the spiritualist for help to get your ex back permanently.
I need safety.
Sounds like someone I know..
This advice can be taken the wrong way if theres been an affair from the wife and the husband simply does`t trust her anymore.
Then they should leave cause she’s definitely gonna do it again
my husband begin controling in the marriage
Christy Giles, 24, and architect friend Hilda Marcela Cabrales-Arzola, 26 desperately needed a controlling husband. But now it's too late.
I just got my relationship fixed through the help of a Spiritualist, and my ex husband is back to me and we are living happily like ever before
Still??
this is more like promotion or your workshops
What if the wife is being unfaithful? How should the husband go about setting boundaries without being controlling?
Been together 25 years and now they want a divorce due to my infidelitys because they were unfaithful prior. No affairs just one nighters for both of us. I don't want a divorce.
I just got my relationship fixed through the help of a Spiritualist, and my ex husband is back to me and we are living happily like ever before
Whatsap the spiritualist for help to get your ex back permanently.
Alphas...Trumpettes,..drunks,... ALL are who she is talking about. What the hell is the attraction today for little boys in large pickups, excessively disturbing the peace, creating disturbances with altered exhausts as if they were still 17. Cannot you women SEE they are compensating for a complete lack of manhood?
No my wife is why you always say the husband why can't you have some podcasts that mention the wife in these scenarios
Extremely unhelpful
I think the issue is too much freedom. When freedom destroys the relationship controlling comes in rescue. Naturally as being a woman you took their side but I think the husband should take the lead. If a guy protects and provides for his wife , he must have some degree of authority. Otherwise things will go out of hand. There has to be a boundary on both sides. When a couple is committed to each other they have to make decisions for the betterment of both.
My advice, if your husband is controlling, is to accept that it isn't a bad thing. Every house needs a man who sets things straight. Him controlling you helps him become more masculine. If he tells you to do something, just say, "Yes, dear," and do it. Be nice to him and look good for him. If you think what he's asking you to do is extreme or difficult, then have a gentle discussion with him and explain to him how you think what he's asking you to do is becoming unreasonable and how he should be considering how you feel about it and what you're comfortable with. If he refuses, then ask for help from another family member, maybe his dad, mom, or your own parent. Someone who has a degree of authority over him. Marriage is all about understanding. A stable family needs its leader, so remember that your husband is your leader.
Can y'all guys that's reading comment and PLEASE tell me that you agree with her on being equal with you partner let alone you wife ?? Comment I think she's 100% wrong . How tf we gone we equal? Please tell me females what ways do y'all want to be equal ?? Cause US AS MEN DNT want to be equal to NO female .
Preach
Equal meaning showing each other respect. We can never be equal physically but spiritually, both not controlling the other.
Have you ever thought that perhaps men are just typically better at leading? More often then not as men, when we love our space, we are just doing the best we can do avoid them heading down a rather unpleasing path. You and I both know that if women were given complete control that they would sent the relationship or family six feet under.
Psycho
She gone have a lot of you females single AF lmaooo
good. no one wants to be with someone like this.