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STOP conflating childless with childfree! 🙏😭 you do not know the pain! I slid in there last min and had my daughter at 40 after TWENTY YEARS of baby loss and infertility. My daughter’s name is Sarah bc I never want her to forget the biblical importance and pain of infertility and childlessness. Pray for the childless they are suffering. Childfree is a whole other thing.
@@aramisy.cajigas744Technically, yes, but the implications are completely different and it’s disingenuous to imply otherwise. One is by choice, the other isn’t.
Some of us wanted marriage & family, but didnt get it (not for lack of trying). It can be painful when other Christians assume we chose that, or treat us as "less than" because we don't have it.
You aren't less valuable as a person if you don't have children and a family, but you are less of a person. You can't be complete as a person if you don't either have kids, or stay celibate and dedicate yourself to Christ.
How are you less of a person? And those who are out in the world who have children/ families but are without Christ can we say they are complete without Him?
@Dee-nonamnamrson8718 Can you provide scripture where God says that someone that never found that right person to marry, and/or couldn’t have children, is a lesser than, incomplete person?
@@Dee-nonamnamrson8718 I did not want kids or marriage and am infertile in any event. How am I less of a person if God gave me a body that cannot conceive?
@grace4meinthehouseofgod519 You are conflating less of a person with less valuable as a person. You could gain the growth you are missing through adoption.
I do think a distinction between childless and childfree should be made. Many women are childless not to their own accord. Giving a warning to them only adds insult to injury.
I’m not sure I agree on the if you didn’t have a baby it’s because didn’t insist. I wanted nothing more than to be a mom and my husband and I tried desperately for 6 years. Fertility treatment, surgeries, tears, and fear. All of it. After 6 years passed we finally got pregnant 9 months later and I delivered my dead daughter. My precious gift from God was ripped away from me. The child I prayed for since I was 10 was gone. We tried and two years later I was again pregnant with my wonderful son who recently turned 15. I had him at age 34. However my marriage didn’t last after the death of our first born as my husband turned to drinking, drugs, and adultery to self medicate. He blamed God and he was so angry. Our relationship became one of abuse and shortly after our son turned one I asked him to leave. He had just denounced God and spewed hatred at the God he once faithfully served in the church. Several years later I remarried and I was once again pregnant at age 40. We lost that baby early in the pregnancy and a year later I had to have a radical hysterectomy due to severe medical issues. I always wanted to be a mom with at least 4 kids. I was blessed with one child who lived. So to say that if you don’t have kids it’s because you did really try is cruel. I’m sorry, it just is.
I'm sorry but you KNOW infertility isn't part of this specific conversation, and your insistence upon being included is self centered. Obviously they're not talking about infertility, it's never your fault if you're infertile (before you're older).
I think having grandmas and aunts living near you will help women have babies sooner. Nowadays families are spread all over the country. Making it hard for people, mainly poor people, to start a family.
Yes this was my reason to wait. I was in a foreign country and didn’t feel at home. Women need extended family or really good communities that don’t really exist anymore
I can't remember who said this but he said that it's insane that we expect women to raise children all alone and sadly that is the experience most have.
There are so many stories of heartbreak around this. I know so many good Christian women, who never slept around, always did the right thing... and somehow it never got together for them. Some of them were even engaged at one stage, but it fell through. And they're not fat, or crazy (now)...
Yeah, this topic makes me a little sad. With the culture I grew up in (non-American, not feminist btw) I was simply taught to never look at boys. Pretty easy when you’re sheltered and are defined by academics. God still put the desire for marriage in my heart. Fast forward many years later, family members are expecting a PhD AND grandkids 😵💫 It’s like a switch, and I don’t understand how people can put so much pressure on woman to marry and have kids so suddenly, especially if the attitude around dating was negative. I’m currently in a Bible study on relationships, and accepted that I need patience, and fellowship for now. However, there are many attitudes and dating expectations from the world, and other Christians that still bother me.
I got married during colledge. Finished. I have a job I love (teach) , have a good marriage and I have 5 beautiful children. My daughter also wanted to marry while studiing to be a dentist. She said “others live with their boyfriends, and I dont want to live in sin” She is now sixth year and soon to deliver her second child. She has a beautiful family and is very happy. It’s just that we live in society that doesnt get it. Everybody thinks she is missing something. But we think they are. We are blessed.
I've been trying to have children since I was an adult . I couldn't , then I had to have things removed . It hits hard as a woman but Do N0t despair. First, I've seen multiple women who couldn't have children, have children, such as in the Bible , And very importantly, there are 1000s of children and teens thatve never experienced love , don't under estimate what can be gained from Fostering and even adopting children. Do not be sad , keep an open mind and heart and seek to help other children in the meantime ❤
@@FaithAndRepentance you’re heart is so beautiful and I’m grateful to God for people Ike you. Kind of spin off of this. My aunt couldn’t have kids. She turned 30 somethin and decided I’m just going to adopt. She let her thinking about children having to be blood go. She finally had 3 kids.
Same, I wanted to marry and have kids. I am 35 and never dated, I never had a shot a having kids. I just assumed it wasn't in God's plan for me. Honestly, it took me a long time to get over that.
I feel like there are a few genuine exceptions to the rule, too. I happily invite respectful disagreements. We can have different opinions. I agree that feminism is dumb. I agree that society today devalues the family, kids etc, and that the absolute vast majority of women want to be and SHOULD be, moms. But I'm in my mid 30s. Married almost 15 years. No kids. I've never had baby fever in my life. I did get pregnant once and miscarried. I was indeed excited for that baby. But as soon as that pregnancy ended, I went right back to 0 baby fever ever. I do not feel that I am missing anything in my life. I'm all for traditional families and am stoked to see more young people seeking this out! But some of us are normal women who genuinely just have 0 desire to have kids. I pray about it sometimes as I don't want to be foolish...it's a serious topic to think, talk and pray about. I've asked God to give me baby fever or bless us with an oopsie if I'm too dumb to recognize a need I've never felt. Nothing has changed so far. I also have three married, childless friends...none are feminists and none dislike kids lol...one is 39, one is 54, one is mid 60s. No regrets about no kids. They're just happy serving Jesus differently, as are their husbands. Also, I am totally commenting this before having watched the whole thing, so maybe I'm being silly and these genuine exceptions DO get addressed here too 😅😅 I just overall sense a big, almost idolizing push toward marriage and kids for everyone. Again, probably 99% of people would indeed be more fulfilled this way. But Scripture equally values marriage and singleness. Paul lifted up and honoured singleness. It's a gift, not a disease. Both marriage AND singleness are gifts. Different gifts for different types of people ❤️ the greatest good is Christ. If you have him, you are complete and aren't missing anything. A happy marriage and fulfillment in parenting, IF that becomes your path, is just the cherry on top/extra blessing.
Agreed, don’t think it’s a sin to not have kids. Think people have that life and want you to be like them because it defines them. Our goal is to be Christian
@@BlessGodStudios But...for the sake of argument, if I don't know I want kids + I'm fulfilled in life, am I actually missing out on a personal level? I mean to be fair, you said "the vast majority," not "everyone." And I also said, "exceptions" RE not having kids. So we're in agreement.
Totally. I don’t know if you’re missing out. But I don’t know anyone who’s had kids that feels they’re missing out on living a life without kids. Even kids born in the most brutal circumstances.
It frustrates me to no end that instead of lifting Jordan and Tammy Peterson up as 2 of Canada’s brightest thinkers, authors, and influencers, they are instead demonized, bullied, and forced to move out of the country. Shame on Canada.
Child free women aren't committed a crime nor sinning against God. The scriptures tell us us it's best to stay single. It also tells us not to fornicate. So shaming us isn't even Biblical! You need to deal with your choices and stop projecting on us! Most of these people are miserable and wish they were single!
Yes, as a single women I have the luxury of time to go on a mission, hone in on a skill. My friends are going to Bible college. Everything is still possible in marriage and with kids, but some things are just going to be harder.
Read the context those verse are in so you don't miss quote Paul. Staying single is only ever spoke as a good thing in the context of it puts limits on how you can spread the gospel. Every other time marriage is a positive, even the image of Christ and the church. Kids are always spoken of as a blessing. And marriage is even characterized as a ministry. It's not a sin to stay single, but if you fault shame watching this then your attitude is opening you up for sin.
“But I wish everyone were single, just as I am. Yet each person has a special gift from God, of one kind or another. So I say to those who aren’t married and to widows-it’s better to stay unmarried, just as I am. But if they can’t control themselves, they should go ahead and marry. It’s better to marry than to burn with lust.” 1 Corinthians 7:7-9 NLT
I've been trying to have children since I was an adult . I couldn't , then I had to have things removed . It hits hard as a woman but Do N0t despair. First, I've seen multiple women who couldn't have children, have children, such as in the Bible , And very importantly, there are 1000s of children and teens thatve never experienced love , don't under estimate what can be gained from Fostering and even adopting children. Do not be sad , keep an open mind and heart and seek to help other children in the meantime ❤
My daughter told me before she even reached her teens that she did not want to have kids. She just knew somehow that that was not for her. She is 40 now, never changed her mind, never had kids, totally at peace with her decision and so am I. Motherhood is not a calling for some women and thank God they are open and honest about it so they don't end up miserable and resentful. Society needs to adjust itself to another "normal" going forward and be OK with the reality that some women just don't want children, and that it has nothing to do with Feminism or brainwashing, they just do not want to be mothers. It's OK. There is nothing "wrong" with it.
@@mama-nono3652 it might be a personal decision whether or not somebody gets married or has kids, but the consequences of their decision are huge and felt by people they aren’t related to. We need to find some balance between a society that needs more people and balancing individual preferences.
This is all very individualistic and we have enough of that in society. Where people just seem to consume and never give back and are only concerned with themselves. Leave the hard work of raising the next generation to other people. A lot of people can find peace in that attitude especially when they are younger. It might matter more when you are 85 and there is no one there who even cares to keep you company. If the new normal is people not having kids because they just dont want to that's going to destroy our Society in the long run and there won't be anything to adjust to. Children are the future.
I have heard plenty of women is marriages with husbands that don't really care about them, we as women are sold this idea of love but it's hard to find a man willing to sacrifice himself.
If God miraculously saves your life, then you are going to shine! I believe God saved Tammy as a way to bring Jordan to Christ. Jordan has already brought so many people to Christ without even being a Christian, myself included. Imagine what he could accomplish as a Christian.
@ I agree. However truth be told, JPB had done a lot to bridge the gap between the sacred and profane. I remember listening to his psychological biblical series in 2020 and much of what I wrestled with finally clicked into place while processing. And I have been following Christ, completely sold out since 2011. I suppose part of the gift in Jordan is giving language to the divine from a psychological perspective.
In watching this again and having more room to digest what's being said, it seems like this conversation is simply touching the concept of deliberate family planning. (Rather than broadly condemning childless or "childfree" women.) I'm not really pegging it as being particularly critical. It's also only a portion of the podcast, so I'm sure context key. This is a very touchy subject these days as a lot of people watch their lives derail in ways they never wanted. It's liable to cause people to fill in any blanks with their frustrations. While I think this wisdom is something everyone should take with them, this seems more like an internal perspective for couples (or perhaps people in general) who aren't as purposeful about their life decisions.
I think it's harsh to say "childless women". Have you wondered WHY are they childless? I know what Tammy meant when she said women chase the career and not the family, but that's not with the majority of women. For example, I can't have children (at least not yet) because of PCOS and me and my husband are really trying our best with medication but still, nothing is happening... What I also heard is that sisters in Christ tend to say to "childless women" is this: Maybe you sinned so that's why God doesn't let you have a child... in my case, I did sin when I was younger (no one is sinless but Jesus) but I haven't slept with other men till my marriage as some women had and they have children, but I dont'. Words hurt, what also hurts is that when you push that fact "you can't bare a child" into our faces. We know! We can't do much about it! But we know who can do the most: Lord Almighty.
@@VanessaBahat PCOS mama here! I highly recommend finding a NaPRO Tech doctor and trying carnivore or keto for at least 6 months. Both lead us to having our 4 babies after 5 years of trying. Prayers for you
Sister, please don't understand more than what is said. "Childless" is someone who doesn't have a child. No judgement there. Regardless of the reasons for being childless, nobody is allowed to judge, especially if the woman desires children so much. People are so judgemental, and people are so offended and hurt, and hurt people take everything personal, so much it makes me sad to see the ironies of the world. Please, sister, at least you have the best wishes from me, no judgement involved. Jah bless!
Woah you took this way out of context. She is referring to the modern day western women who are choosing not to have children because they would rather have money, careers, vacations etc. Understand the context of who she is referring to before you fly straight into all of these assumptions.
I thank God every day that I snapped out of that lie. I too went to college and dreamed of a career becuase I wasnt going to "wipe butts all day." One day I matured and wanted more than just me. My kids are so much more fulfilling than any job could ever be. I don't regret leaving the rat race for one second. I love being their mom and taking care of my home and husband.
It’s not always so easy to have a family. As a women (36) in a marriage with my husband(41) Iam lucky to have my stepson. My husband does not want another kid. I would love to have a child or children with him but I can not force him to do so it’s been a topic that has come up through the years but just never happened. This does not mean he loves me less or doesn’t respect me. Our financial situation is not the greatest we are barely getting by. I have had a mis-carriage in the past when we weren’t even trying. So I look at that as maybe it’s not Gods plan for me to,have a child. I’m not go to question it nor will I force it. We are very happy and still very much in love.
I knew the first time i met my husband that i would marry him. I wrote him a persuasive easy advising him that we were meant to be together and to get on the same page as me. I wasn't dating to date or waist time or follow the next exciting man. I knew he was the person i was sapossed to spend my life with. He has made me a better person in so many ways and i am honored to be his wife and have his kids.
My wife does not want to have kids. 34 year old and have been married for 4 years. The Lords will be done ✅ Would be awesome to one day have my son or daughter
I've been trying to have children since I was an adult . I couldn't , then I had to have things removed . It hits hard as a woman but Do N0t despair. First, I've seen multiple women who couldn't have children, have children, such as in the Bible , And very importantly, there are 1000s of children and teens thatve never experienced love , don't under estimate what can be gained from Fostering and even adopting children. Do not be sad , keep an open mind and heart and seek to help other children in the meantime ❤Also there is IVF , Can run around 11,000$ per treatment , surrogates and much more .
This video is about people that can have kids what you are asking is another topic in itself ,if you can have kids dont delay to have them having them young give a better chance to have your dream family after a certain age fertility drop in both women and men and meds lower the chance too
God has blessed me, I was career focused but god had other plans for me and now I'm a mother of 3 boys. Just recently become a qualifed accountant though so maybe when my boys are older that might be my next season. That's so wierd that she started talking about her dream of having a baby, I realised when I was about 19 that I wanted children one day but I never thought about it before that but after that I day dreamed a lot about having 3 boys but I always thought I was gonna become a doctor or something first lol. Obviously things didn't go quite how I planned and I got my boys first lol.
Im one of the horible childless woman here (deemed so by a lot of conservatives 🙄) and yes its true, when you turn 30 you suddenly want kids yesterday. And to all the single desperate men who claim they cant get a date...if youd take time to be a fun uncle or enjoy interacting with kids youd have a +5 to your attrative score❤ also getting a dog does take the edge off your nurturing desires if your like still looking for a your best friend for life.
It’s ok, I just got a degree and found out I’m “expired” 😂 The internet is so unserious. I also think focusing on fellowship and serving can help shift the focus until a date/ life- partner comes
We all have our callings. Your wifes calling is to be a mom so that is her focus. I am a mom and my son is grown but it was not my calling. I enjoyed my son but being a "mom" and or house wife was not my calling. There is a difference. Some people are called to be house moms and wives.
But you can do both. For instance I never wanted a baby, now that I have one, I want more and I feel that this is the most important thing that I will ever do. I am great at my job and everything, but I see now how little importance and meaning it gives vs raising this child, maybe if my job would be coathing young women or something else that provides value I think I would feel differently, now I havr a job that I like sure, but there is no meaning other then making more money for the corporation. 🤷♀️
@@tiesiai_per_aplinkui I definitely agree with you, people do both all of the time :) I was just making a point that there are some that this is their calling. I hear a lot of conversations on this topic and I get the feeling that there are some men that think that all women are the same when it comes to marriage and kids and it’s just not the case. I love that you are doing what God has called you to do. My heart rejoices for you and your family. Here is the best way that I can explain the point I was trying to make…Some people are called to make wonderful meals in the kitchen. They are in their happy place when they are cooking. They feel fulfilled when they do it because they are called to it..others cook but they are not called to do it as a profession so they are not fulfilled by the act of cooking or being in the kitchen..They still enjoyed the meal…but their cooking experience is not going to be the same as the chef who is fulfilling his purpose here on this earth by cooking. 1 is not necessarily better than the other.. but it would be strange to assume that just because 1 person is fulfilled by cooking that everyone that cooks will feel the same way when they cook. Children are a blessing but every mom does not experience that all encompassing sense of fulfillment from the ministry of being a mom the way you just described that you do. Your job is not your calling at least not at this time it is just fulfilling the need, which is to make money. I appreciate your comment :) God Bless :)
@@BlessGodStudios I understand completely. It’s a lot and I would rather work lol. But if I did have to be a stay at home mom, I would poor my heart into it. The stay at home wife is another topic lol. It’s not for everyone. And that’s okay. It’s not a good or bad thing.. it’s preference. Have a good night!! God Bless!
When most people say "we waited to have kids", even most Christians, is that they used contraception in marriage. I know Tammy was not Catholic at that time, but does anyone know what Ruslan's perspective is on contraception?
I find it strange how many parallels there are in Jordan Petersons life with my own. Learning that he got married to his wife around the same time as I did. I’ve been worried that I won’t be able to be a good family man but seeing someone else follow a similar life path gives me some hope. I hope Jordan Peterson can learn more about Christian living as not many people can put in words what he does.
Im a man and not wed but its important so here is my questions and thoughts. If a woman does not have a baby its their fault for not insisting. Now i cannot speak for all guys but im sure there are men who have indeed dreamed of having families and having kids. I actually know one youtuber who wanted children but sadly his wife wanted a carreer leading to problems. Making babies is a team effort so wouldnt the husband also look to have children and should insist to the wife to consider? I mean in christian marriages in particular contraseptives are frowned upon, especially in the Catholic world and though you are offered leway in planning for a baby many and i mean many will say why did you get married as a Christian and be utterly shocked that you are at some point expected to have children? I think in the Catholic sense its a sin to not want children depending on who you ask. I feel if its only the woman who has a right to insist then well it detaches responsibility from husbands. If Christians are getting married it seems no matter what you will be asked why not a baby or why did you not think of this before you wed? Especially as Catholics since it pushes it so hard you would think that is the only thing marriages are for and you recieve all types of pressure and flack. Plus if you dont have a baby you are not trying hard enough seems like a radically unfair umbrella statement. There are couples that both parents want kids but the Lord for whatever reason has chosen not to give it. Not to mention the misccarages that happen and health issues and to hear a statement like that not gonna lie thinking of my wonderful young christian couple friends who have been trying and having miscarrages triggers me. Im hoping she just means a certain group of people because who want jobs more because man.
Topics like this are quite volatile. People tend not to address the same flavor of issue when reacting to it. In the future, I think it would be beneficial for them to clarify the parameters of their target audience to reduce some of the acidity. At the end of the day, people's decisions are only their own business and should be respected as long as God is actively involved. I commend their efforts to combat voices attempting to persuade people against their God-inspired desires but the conversations are always incomplete. Single and wanting a spouse? Don't, you're obsessive and it's overrated. Don't want to marry? It's because you're hedonistically non-committal. Want kids? You're selfish, why bring more kids into the world? Don't want them? You're selfish and can't care about others. All those sentiments tend to end there, people get offended and the loop continues. I'm sure there's a better way to discuss it but everyone needs to keep in mind that there's a lot of layers to why things are the way they are.
I feel SO sorry for your sister. I regret not having a man's MONEY but I do not regret not having a husband and certainly not having children. I pray God brings her someone worthy of being her husband and the father of her children. Tammy, what you are saying is spiritual ignorance and arrogance. If the man tells you he is not ready to have a baby and the money is not there, do not insist unless GOD TELLS YOU to insist. Work on your prayer life before you bring a new life into this world because you will need the Holy Spirit's guidance to raise that child. God, in his mercy, chose to close your womb until HE was ready for you to have a baby. Have you considered that Our Father did not give you a baby on your schedule because you were the one who needed to grow?
Us Catholics be like "nah fam! You men need to grow up and recognise that intimacy with your wife means willingness to produce babies. Lest you turn your intimacy into a self gratification conflict of interest. Women have no problem with natural family planning (the way humans were designed by biology and God to have a relationship), it's men who find it too hard. But that's the point. You got to show her your love either in the devotion of the utmost care for a whole month till she's infertile and to a degree that she feels close to you even during those times, or you got to be committed to producing a lifelong bond with her through new life. If you can't give her that degree of psychological security in the most vulnerable bond you will ever share with her, then you don't deserve to bond with her that way. Sorry... Keen to casually debate/discuss this with you if you want. I'm a bit of an unorthodox Catholic who only converted from Evangelicalism 3 years after 30 years a protty. So I might be very ignorant on this matter. But I am more used to arguing from a secular perspective as I've been studying apologetics for 15 years.
I think this has to do more with class than political beliefs. I would have a child right now if me and my husband weren’t living paycheck to paycheck. I cannot afford to stop working, we have to live off of the cheapest food (eggs, ground beef, rice, beans) to get by and even have to skip meals. So if you want to fund for women having kids you can, but shaming them when they want kids and can’t have them or can’t afford to raise them is ridiculous y
This man has no boundaries talking about his own sister like this 😠 but thank you Mrs. Peterson. You and your husband and daughter are changing lives! God bless you all 😊
I think its pretty uncharitable to say that a woman can simply tell her husband she wants a baby and he'll agree. It doesn't work in a lot of people's cases. I personally know a woman who got married to a man who was initially on the same page as her about kids (they're both Christians). After they wed she asked about having kids and he dropped a bomb on her and said he no longer wants them. He wasnt interested in adoption either. It broke her heart. Was that her fault?
Wealthy people have no clue, I’m sorry but if you have spent your life in a stable economic situation perhaps due to luck then you can hush. Most people can’t afford groceries. She thinks everyone is like her spoiled Mikayla?
Don't let Ruslan fool you. He likes to do all these interviews and rub shoulders with all these ppl, but he doesn't really help ppl in person. If he can't help u with an easy link or one of his RUclips videos he doesn't really care about ppl. He has a massive ego.
Oookay? We are not obligated to help every single person we come in contact with. Yes, we are to help people, but sometimes that help has to be focused on a smaller number to do the most good. If we try to help every single person we come across, we stretch ourselves thin, then do no good overall as a result. We help our brothers and sisters according to the means that God gives us and allows us to, not by what we may not have yet or ever. We are to be wise stewards of what God gives us. His character both on and off screen is consistent. Just because he doesn’t help someone the way you would want him to, does not mean he doesn’t care or want to do more. Sometimes, a link might be all he can do at the time to hopefully direct a person towards people and/or suggestions that can do more.
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STOP conflating childless with childfree! 🙏😭 you do not know the pain! I slid in there last min and had my daughter at 40 after TWENTY YEARS of baby loss and infertility. My daughter’s name is Sarah bc I never want her to forget the biblical importance and pain of infertility and childlessness.
Pray for the childless they are suffering.
Childfree is a whole other thing.
@@OldNewMama Fair point, and congratulations!
Exactly! There is a difference
But childfree is still childless.
Great story, God bless!
@@aramisy.cajigas744Technically, yes, but the implications are completely different and it’s disingenuous to imply otherwise. One is by choice, the other isn’t.
“Many are the plans in a person’s heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails”
Some of us wanted marriage & family, but didnt get it (not for lack of trying). It can be painful when other Christians assume we chose that, or treat us as "less than" because we don't have it.
You aren't less valuable as a person if you don't have children and a family, but you are less of a person. You can't be complete as a person if you don't either have kids, or stay celibate and dedicate yourself to Christ.
How are you less of a person? And those who are out in the world who have children/ families but are without Christ can we say they are complete without Him?
@Dee-nonamnamrson8718
Can you provide scripture where God says that someone that never found that right person to marry, and/or couldn’t have children, is a lesser than, incomplete person?
@@Dee-nonamnamrson8718 I did not want kids or marriage and am infertile in any event. How am I less of a person if God gave me a body that cannot conceive?
@grace4meinthehouseofgod519 You are conflating less of a person with less valuable as a person. You could gain the growth you are missing through adoption.
I do think a distinction between childless and childfree should be made. Many women are childless not to their own accord. Giving a warning to them only adds insult to injury.
I’m not sure I agree on the if you didn’t have a baby it’s because didn’t insist. I wanted nothing more than to be a mom and my husband and I tried desperately for 6 years. Fertility treatment, surgeries, tears, and fear. All of it. After 6 years passed we finally got pregnant 9 months later and I delivered my dead daughter. My precious gift from God was ripped away from me. The child I prayed for since I was 10 was gone. We tried and two years later I was again pregnant with my wonderful son who recently turned 15. I had him at age 34. However my marriage didn’t last after the death of our first born as my husband turned to drinking, drugs, and adultery to self medicate. He blamed God and he was so angry. Our relationship became one of abuse and shortly after our son turned one I asked him to leave. He had just denounced God and spewed hatred at the God he once faithfully served in the church. Several years later I remarried and I was once again pregnant at age 40. We lost that baby early in the pregnancy and a year later I had to have a radical hysterectomy due to severe medical issues. I always wanted to be a mom with at least 4 kids. I was blessed with one child who lived. So to say that if you don’t have kids it’s because you did really try is cruel. I’m sorry, it just is.
I'm sorry but you KNOW infertility isn't part of this specific conversation, and your insistence upon being included is self centered. Obviously they're not talking about infertility, it's never your fault if you're infertile (before you're older).
Ruslan has a Peterson on the channel?! Come on! Way to go brother!
I think having grandmas and aunts living near you will help women have babies sooner. Nowadays families are spread all over the country. Making it hard for people, mainly poor people, to start a family.
I had NO help when I had my son..very isolated and had horrible post partum. It was a dark time. Then I couldnt have any more children. Broke my heart
Yes this was my reason to wait. I was in a foreign country and didn’t feel at home. Women need extended family or really good communities that don’t really exist anymore
Agree. My family is all close by. It makes a huge difference. I know we are rare, and very fortunate.
I can't remember who said this but he said that it's insane that we expect women to raise children all alone and sadly that is the experience most have.
There are so many stories of heartbreak around this.
I know so many good Christian women, who never slept around, always did the right thing... and somehow it never got together for them. Some of them were even engaged at one stage, but it fell through. And they're not fat, or crazy (now)...
Marriage/parenthood isnt a reward, just precious gifts. This mindset has really helped me navigate this life of faith.
@@taebrown384this is a good point. These things aren't a guarantee in life.
Yeah, this topic makes me a little sad. With the culture I grew up in (non-American, not feminist btw) I was simply taught to never look at boys. Pretty easy when you’re sheltered and are defined by academics. God still put the desire for marriage in my heart. Fast forward many years later, family members are expecting a PhD AND grandkids 😵💫 It’s like a switch, and I don’t understand how people can put so much pressure on woman to marry and have kids so suddenly, especially if the attitude around dating was negative. I’m currently in a Bible study on relationships, and accepted that I need patience, and fellowship for now. However, there are many attitudes and dating expectations from the world, and other Christians that still bother me.
I want kids and am running out of time. I won’t force it though. I can’t make a man fall for me and the thought of picking a Rando makes me sick lol
I got married during colledge. Finished. I have a job I love (teach) , have a good marriage and I have 5 beautiful children. My daughter also wanted to marry while studiing to be a dentist. She said “others live with their boyfriends, and I dont want to live in sin” She is now sixth year and soon to deliver her second child. She has a beautiful family and is very happy. It’s just that we live in society that doesnt get it. Everybody thinks she is missing something. But we think they are. We are blessed.
I wanted to marry and have a family young too. Now I’m 34, single. Never married and no kids. Sad truth.
I've been trying to have children since I was an adult . I couldn't , then I had to have things removed . It hits hard as a woman but Do N0t despair.
First, I've seen multiple women who couldn't have children, have children, such as in the Bible ,
And very importantly, there are 1000s of children and teens thatve never experienced love , don't under estimate what can be gained from Fostering and even adopting children.
Do not be sad , keep an open mind and heart and seek to help other children in the meantime ❤
@@FaithAndRepentance you’re heart is so beautiful and I’m grateful to God for people Ike you.
Kind of spin off of this. My aunt couldn’t have kids. She turned 30 somethin and decided I’m just going to adopt. She let her thinking about children having to be blood go. She finally had 3 kids.
Same, I wanted to marry and have kids. I am 35 and never dated, I never had a shot a having kids. I just assumed it wasn't in God's plan for me. Honestly, it took me a long time to get over that.
You are still ypung. We have our first kid at 31 and it is a great time.to be a parent
@@FaithAndRepentance Thank you for sharing! I love the focus on fostering and adopting.
I feel like there are a few genuine exceptions to the rule, too. I happily invite respectful disagreements. We can have different opinions. I agree that feminism is dumb. I agree that society today devalues the family, kids etc, and that the absolute vast majority of women want to be and SHOULD be, moms. But I'm in my mid 30s. Married almost 15 years. No kids. I've never had baby fever in my life. I did get pregnant once and miscarried. I was indeed excited for that baby. But as soon as that pregnancy ended, I went right back to 0 baby fever ever. I do not feel that I am missing anything in my life. I'm all for traditional families and am stoked to see more young people seeking this out! But some of us are normal women who genuinely just have 0 desire to have kids. I pray about it sometimes as I don't want to be foolish...it's a serious topic to think, talk and pray about. I've asked God to give me baby fever or bless us with an oopsie if I'm too dumb to recognize a need I've never felt. Nothing has changed so far. I also have three married, childless friends...none are feminists and none dislike kids lol...one is 39, one is 54, one is mid 60s. No regrets about no kids. They're just happy serving Jesus differently, as are their husbands. Also, I am totally commenting this before having watched the whole thing, so maybe I'm being silly and these genuine exceptions DO get addressed here too 😅😅
I just overall sense a big, almost idolizing push toward marriage and kids for everyone. Again, probably 99% of people would indeed be more fulfilled this way. But Scripture equally values marriage and singleness. Paul lifted up and honoured singleness. It's a gift, not a disease. Both marriage AND singleness are gifts. Different gifts for different types of people ❤️ the greatest good is Christ. If you have him, you are complete and aren't missing anything. A happy marriage and fulfillment in parenting, IF that becomes your path, is just the cherry on top/extra blessing.
Kinda veered from talking about kids and no kids, to singleness vs marriage lol. But I hope my point sort of made sense nonetheless!
sometimes baby fever comes after the baby.. and yes, the vast majority of people want kids or don't know they want kids.
Agreed, don’t think it’s a sin to not have kids. Think people have that life and want you to be like them because it defines them. Our goal is to be Christian
@@BlessGodStudios But...for the sake of argument, if I don't know I want kids + I'm fulfilled in life, am I actually missing out on a personal level? I mean to be fair, you said "the vast majority," not "everyone." And I also said, "exceptions" RE not having kids. So we're in agreement.
Totally. I don’t know if you’re missing out. But I don’t know anyone who’s had kids that feels they’re missing out on living a life without kids. Even kids born in the most brutal circumstances.
It frustrates me to no end that instead of lifting Jordan and Tammy Peterson up as 2 of Canada’s brightest thinkers, authors, and influencers, they are instead demonized, bullied, and forced to move out of the country. Shame on Canada.
Child free women aren't committed a crime nor sinning against God. The scriptures tell us us it's best to stay single. It also tells us not to fornicate. So shaming us isn't even Biblical! You need to deal with your choices and stop projecting on us! Most of these people are miserable and wish they were single!
Yes, as a single women I have the luxury of time to go on a mission, hone in on a skill. My friends are going to Bible college. Everything is still possible in marriage and with kids, but some things are just going to be harder.
Read the context those verse are in so you don't miss quote Paul. Staying single is only ever spoke as a good thing in the context of it puts limits on how you can spread the gospel. Every other time marriage is a positive, even the image of Christ and the church. Kids are always spoken of as a blessing. And marriage is even characterized as a ministry. It's not a sin to stay single, but if you fault shame watching this then your attitude is opening you up for sin.
“But I wish everyone were single, just as I am. Yet each person has a special gift from God, of one kind or another. So I say to those who aren’t married and to widows-it’s better to stay unmarried, just as I am. But if they can’t control themselves, they should go ahead and marry. It’s better to marry than to burn with lust.”
1 Corinthians 7:7-9 NLT
I've been trying to have children since I was an adult . I couldn't , then I had to have things removed . It hits hard as a woman but Do N0t despair.
First, I've seen multiple women who couldn't have children, have children, such as in the Bible ,
And very importantly, there are 1000s of children and teens thatve never experienced love , don't under estimate what can be gained from Fostering and even adopting children.
Do not be sad , keep an open mind and heart and seek to help other children in the meantime ❤
I was adopted as a baby. We need homes too 🙂
My daughter told me before she even reached her teens that she did not want to have kids. She just knew somehow that that was not for her. She is 40 now, never changed her mind, never had kids, totally at peace with her decision and so am I. Motherhood is not a calling for some women and thank God they are open and honest about it so they don't end up miserable and resentful. Society needs to adjust itself to another "normal" going forward and be OK with the reality that some women just don't want children, and that it has nothing to do with Feminism or brainwashing, they just do not want to be mothers. It's OK. There is nothing "wrong" with it.
@@mama-nono3652 it might be a personal decision whether or not somebody gets married or has kids, but the consequences of their decision are huge and felt by people they aren’t related to.
We need to find some balance between a society that needs more people and balancing individual preferences.
This is all very individualistic and we have enough of that in society. Where people just seem to consume and never give back and are only concerned with themselves. Leave the hard work of raising the next generation to other people. A lot of people can find peace in that attitude especially when they are younger. It might matter more when you are 85 and there is no one there who even cares to keep you company. If the new normal is people not having kids because they just dont want to that's going to destroy our Society in the long run and there won't be anything to adjust to. Children are the future.
@@mama-nono3652 How many cats does she have?
@@Dee-nonamnamrson8718 😂😂😂😂😂😂
Is she married?
I have heard plenty of women is marriages with husbands that don't really care about them, we as women are sold this idea of love but it's hard to find a man willing to sacrifice himself.
Is it just me or is Tammy shining?
If God miraculously saves your life, then you are going to shine! I believe God saved Tammy as a way to bring Jordan to Christ. Jordan has already brought so many people to Christ without even being a Christian, myself included. Imagine what he could accomplish as a Christian.
@ I agree. However truth be told, JPB had done a lot to bridge the gap between the sacred and profane.
I remember listening to his psychological biblical series in 2020 and much of what I wrestled with finally clicked into place while processing. And I have been following Christ, completely sold out since 2011.
I suppose part of the gift in Jordan is giving language to the divine from a psychological perspective.
In watching this again and having more room to digest what's being said, it seems like this conversation is simply touching the concept of deliberate family planning. (Rather than broadly condemning childless or "childfree" women.) I'm not really pegging it as being particularly critical. It's also only a portion of the podcast, so I'm sure context key.
This is a very touchy subject these days as a lot of people watch their lives derail in ways they never wanted. It's liable to cause people to fill in any blanks with their frustrations. While I think this wisdom is something everyone should take with them, this seems more like an internal perspective for couples (or perhaps people in general) who aren't as purposeful about their life decisions.
I think it's harsh to say "childless women". Have you wondered WHY are they childless? I know what Tammy meant when she said women chase the career and not the family, but that's not with the majority of women. For example, I can't have children (at least not yet) because of PCOS and me and my husband are really trying our best with medication but still, nothing is happening...
What I also heard is that sisters in Christ tend to say to "childless women" is this: Maybe you sinned so that's why God doesn't let you have a child... in my case, I did sin when I was younger (no one is sinless but Jesus) but I haven't slept with other men till my marriage as some women had and they have children, but I dont'.
Words hurt, what also hurts is that when you push that fact "you can't bare a child" into our faces. We know! We can't do much about it! But we know who can do the most: Lord Almighty.
@@VanessaBahat PCOS mama here! I highly recommend finding a NaPRO Tech doctor and trying carnivore or keto for at least 6 months. Both lead us to having our 4 babies after 5 years of trying. Prayers for you
@@LydiaBee13. Yes! Try strict HIGH FAT Carnivore. Many have had tremendous results.
@@audreywineland1426 it changed my life after over a decade of PCOS and hypothyroidism struggles
Sister, please don't understand more than what is said. "Childless" is someone who doesn't have a child. No judgement there. Regardless of the reasons for being childless, nobody is allowed to judge, especially if the woman desires children so much. People are so judgemental, and people are so offended and hurt, and hurt people take everything personal, so much it makes me sad to see the ironies of the world. Please, sister, at least you have the best wishes from me, no judgement involved. Jah bless!
Woah you took this way out of context. She is referring to the modern day western women who are choosing not to have children because they would rather have money, careers, vacations etc. Understand the context of who she is referring to before you fly straight into all of these assumptions.
I thank God every day that I snapped out of that lie. I too went to college and dreamed of a career becuase I wasnt going to "wipe butts all day." One day I matured and wanted more than just me. My kids are so much more fulfilling than any job could ever be. I don't regret leaving the rat race for one second. I love being their mom and taking care of my home and husband.
Christ Jesus is my Lord & Savior 🙏
Amen! Indeed He is my Lord and Savior too! Blessings!
She's a wonderful, delightful and special woman 👑❤️🇿🇦
It’s not always so easy to have a family. As a women (36) in a marriage with my husband(41) Iam lucky to have my stepson. My husband does not want another kid. I would love to have a child or children with him but I can not force him to do so it’s been a topic that has come up through the years but just never happened. This does not mean he loves me less or doesn’t respect me. Our financial situation is not the greatest we are barely getting by. I have had a mis-carriage in the past when we weren’t even trying. So I look at that as maybe it’s not Gods plan for me to,have a child. I’m not go to question it nor will I force it. We are very happy and still very much in love.
I knew the first time i met my husband that i would marry him. I wrote him a persuasive easy advising him that we were meant to be together and to get on the same page as me. I wasn't dating to date or waist time or follow the next exciting man. I knew he was the person i was sapossed to spend my life with. He has made me a better person in so many ways and i am honored to be his wife and have his kids.
You had voice of reason and now Tammy peterson. I have to get the patreon now.
Tammy seems so calm and wise.❤
My wife does not want to have kids. 34 year old and have been married for 4 years. The Lords will be done ✅
Would be awesome to one day have my son or daughter
''The Lords will be done '' but pray brother, pray! God bless
What about women/couples that struggle with infertility or can’t have children?
I've been trying to have children since I was an adult . I couldn't , then I had to have things removed . It hits hard as a woman but Do N0t despair.
First, I've seen multiple women who couldn't have children, have children, such as in the Bible ,
And very importantly, there are 1000s of children and teens thatve never experienced love , don't under estimate what can be gained from Fostering and even adopting children.
Do not be sad , keep an open mind and heart and seek to help other children in the meantime ❤Also there is IVF , Can run around 11,000$ per treatment , surrogates and much more .
Adoption.
This video is about people that can have kids what you are asking is another topic in itself ,if you can have kids dont delay to have them having them young give a better chance to have your dream family after a certain age fertility drop in both women and men and meds lower the chance too
Adoption ,save the Babies from abortion
Whole other convo, dude
JP's wife? AMAZING!
Just a heads up that the Patreon exclusive trailer at the end of the video repeats two scenes that happened in this interview
Thank you Mrs. Peterson!
First Voice of Reason then now Tammy Peterson?!! Who's next? Michael Knowles or Sam Shamoun? Ruslan's ON FIRE
God has blessed me, I was career focused but god had other plans for me and now I'm a mother of 3 boys. Just recently become a qualifed accountant though so maybe when my boys are older that might be my next season. That's so wierd that she started talking about her dream of having a baby, I realised when I was about 19 that I wanted children one day but I never thought about it before that but after that I day dreamed a lot about having 3 boys but I always thought I was gonna become a doctor or something first lol. Obviously things didn't go quite how I planned and I got my boys first lol.
She is Catholic too 🎉🎉🎉🎉
Im one of the horible childless woman here (deemed so by a lot of conservatives 🙄) and yes its true, when you turn 30 you suddenly want kids yesterday. And to all the single desperate men who claim they cant get a date...if youd take time to be a fun uncle or enjoy interacting with kids youd have a +5 to your attrative score❤ also getting a dog does take the edge off your nurturing desires if your like still looking for a your best friend for life.
It’s ok, I just got a degree and found out I’m “expired” 😂 The internet is so unserious. I also think focusing on fellowship and serving can help shift the focus until a date/ life- partner comes
We all have our callings. Your wifes calling is to be a mom so that is her focus. I am a mom and my son is grown but it was not my calling. I enjoyed my son but being a "mom" and or house wife was not my calling. There is a difference. Some people are called to be house moms and wives.
But you can do both. For instance I never wanted a baby, now that I have one, I want more and I feel that this is the most important thing that I will ever do.
I am great at my job and everything, but I see now how little importance and meaning it gives vs raising this child, maybe if my job would be coathing young women or something else that provides value I think I would feel differently, now I havr a job that I like sure, but there is no meaning other then making more money for the corporation. 🤷♀️
perhaps you misunderstand everything that goes into being a "house wife"
@@tiesiai_per_aplinkui I definitely agree with you, people do both all of the time :) I was just making a point that there are some that this is their calling. I hear a lot of conversations on this topic and I get the feeling that there are some men that think that all women are the same when it comes to marriage and kids and it’s just not the case. I love that you are doing what God has called you to do. My heart rejoices for you and your family. Here is the best way that I can explain the point I was trying to make…Some people are called to make wonderful meals in the kitchen. They are in their happy place when they are cooking. They feel fulfilled when they do it because they are called to it..others cook but they are not called to do it as a profession so they are not fulfilled by the act of cooking or being in the kitchen..They still enjoyed the meal…but their cooking experience is not going to be the same as the chef who is fulfilling his purpose here on this earth by cooking. 1 is not necessarily better than the other.. but it would be strange to assume that just because 1 person is fulfilled by cooking that everyone that cooks will feel the same way when they cook. Children are a blessing but every mom does not experience that all encompassing sense of fulfillment from the ministry of being a mom the way you just described that you do. Your job is not your calling at least not at this time it is just fulfilling the need, which is to make money. I appreciate your comment :) God Bless :)
@@BlessGodStudios I understand completely. It’s a lot and I would rather work lol. But if I did have to be a stay at home mom, I would poor my heart into it. The stay at home wife is another topic lol. It’s not for everyone. And that’s okay. It’s not a good or bad thing.. it’s preference. Have a good night!! God Bless!
God tells us to be fruitful and multiply
When most people say "we waited to have kids", even most Christians, is that they used contraception in marriage. I know Tammy was not Catholic at that time, but does anyone know what Ruslan's perspective is on contraception?
Pretty sure he has shared natural family planning
I find it strange how many parallels there are in Jordan Petersons life with my own. Learning that he got married to his wife around the same time as I did. I’ve been worried that I won’t be able to be a good family man but seeing someone else follow a similar life path gives me some hope. I hope Jordan Peterson can learn more about Christian living as not many people can put in words what he does.
Right on Ruslan! Great job, love the interview
Im a man and not wed but its important so here is my questions and thoughts. If a woman does not have a baby its their fault for not insisting. Now i cannot speak for all guys but im sure there are men who have indeed dreamed of having families and having kids. I actually know one youtuber who wanted children but sadly his wife wanted a carreer leading to problems. Making babies is a team effort so wouldnt the husband also look to have children and should insist to the wife to consider? I mean in christian marriages in particular contraseptives are frowned upon, especially in the Catholic world and though you are offered leway in planning for a baby many and i mean many will say why did you get married as a Christian and be utterly shocked that you are at some point expected to have children? I think in the Catholic sense its a sin to not want children depending on who you ask. I feel if its only the woman who has a right to insist then well it detaches responsibility from husbands. If Christians are getting married it seems no matter what you will be asked why not a baby or why did you not think of this before you wed? Especially as Catholics since it pushes it so hard you would think that is the only thing marriages are for and you recieve all types of pressure and flack. Plus if you dont have a baby you are not trying hard enough seems like a radically unfair umbrella statement. There are couples that both parents want kids but the Lord for whatever reason has chosen not to give it. Not to mention the misccarages that happen and health issues and to hear a statement like that not gonna lie thinking of my wonderful young christian couple friends who have been trying and having miscarrages triggers me. Im hoping she just means a certain group of people because who want jobs more because man.
Topics like this are quite volatile. People tend not to address the same flavor of issue when reacting to it. In the future, I think it would be beneficial for them to clarify the parameters of their target audience to reduce some of the acidity.
At the end of the day, people's decisions are only their own business and should be respected as long as God is actively involved. I commend their efforts to combat voices attempting to persuade people against their God-inspired desires but the conversations are always incomplete.
Single and wanting a spouse? Don't, you're obsessive and it's overrated. Don't want to marry? It's because you're hedonistically non-committal. Want kids? You're selfish, why bring more kids into the world? Don't want them? You're selfish and can't care about others.
All those sentiments tend to end there, people get offended and the loop continues. I'm sure there's a better way to discuss it but everyone needs to keep in mind that there's a lot of layers to why things are the way they are.
I never wanted kids then i had my son, now i want two more,
I feel SO sorry for your sister. I regret not having a man's MONEY but I do not regret not having a husband and certainly not having children. I pray God brings her someone worthy of being her husband and the father of her children.
Tammy, what you are saying is spiritual ignorance and arrogance. If the man tells you he is not ready to have a baby and the money is not there, do not insist unless GOD TELLS YOU to insist. Work on your prayer life before you bring a new life into this world because you will need the Holy Spirit's guidance to raise that child. God, in his mercy, chose to close your womb until HE was ready for you to have a baby. Have you considered that Our Father did not give you a baby on your schedule because you were the one who needed to grow?
Us Catholics be like "nah fam! You men need to grow up and recognise that intimacy with your wife means willingness to produce babies. Lest you turn your intimacy into a self gratification conflict of interest.
Women have no problem with natural family planning (the way humans were designed by biology and God to have a relationship), it's men who find it too hard. But that's the point. You got to show her your love either in the devotion of the utmost care for a whole month till she's infertile and to a degree that she feels close to you even during those times, or you got to be committed to producing a lifelong bond with her through new life. If you can't give her that degree of psychological security in the most vulnerable bond you will ever share with her, then you don't deserve to bond with her that way. Sorry...
Keen to casually debate/discuss this with you if you want.
I'm a bit of an unorthodox Catholic who only converted from Evangelicalism 3 years after 30 years a protty. So I might be very ignorant on this matter. But I am more used to arguing from a secular perspective as I've been studying apologetics for 15 years.
Don't let men scare you into moving fast and getting locked into a no good narriage for the sakes of being married.
She has a thicker accent than Jordan 😂😂
We dint want kids, I now cannot have kids, that's life. 🤷♀️
I think this has to do more with class than political beliefs. I would have a child right now if me and my husband weren’t living paycheck to paycheck. I cannot afford to stop working, we have to live off of the cheapest food (eggs, ground beef, rice, beans) to get by and even have to skip meals. So if you want to fund for women having kids you can, but shaming them when they want kids and can’t have them or can’t afford to raise them is ridiculous y
This is weird. We have blamed women and feminism but not pornography and falling wages. Men changed when internet porn happened, change my mind
This man has no boundaries talking about his own sister like this 😠 but thank you Mrs. Peterson. You and your husband and daughter are changing lives! God bless you all 😊
I think its pretty uncharitable to say that a woman can simply tell her husband she wants a baby and he'll agree. It doesn't work in a lot of people's cases. I personally know a woman who got married to a man who was initially on the same page as her about kids (they're both Christians). After they wed she asked about having kids and he dropped a bomb on her and said he no longer wants them. He wasnt interested in adoption either. It broke her heart. Was that her fault?
WOW! Next will be Jordan Peterson hopefully.
❤❤❤
You think?
You still have not addressed the hypocrisy of supporting and electing a sexual predator.
What are you talking about?
Is this live?
$3500 a month?! I live in the wrong world.
Wealthy people have no clue, I’m sorry but if you have spent your life in a stable economic situation perhaps due to luck then you can hush. Most people can’t afford groceries. She thinks everyone is like her spoiled Mikayla?
She doesn't have a boyfriend... mid 30s, Why hello there :P
The comments are wild and some women on here act like Peninnah... 😂
😂
Jordan Peterson podcast incoming...
You think?
Look out! A person telling women what they should do and telling them they are responsible!!! The blowback will be epic…. Cue the Karen’s
Tammy Stating the obvious
Don't let Ruslan fool you. He likes to do all these interviews and rub shoulders with all these ppl, but he doesn't really help ppl in person. If he can't help u with an easy link or one of his RUclips videos he doesn't really care about ppl. He has a massive ego.
That’s not been my experience.
Not following your critique..?
what?
Who hurt you?
Oookay? We are not obligated to help every single person we come in contact with. Yes, we are to help people, but sometimes that help has to be focused on a smaller number to do the most good. If we try to help every single person we come across, we stretch ourselves thin, then do no good overall as a result. We help our brothers and sisters according to the means that God gives us and allows us to, not by what we may not have yet or ever. We are to be wise stewards of what God gives us. His character both on and off screen is consistent. Just because he doesn’t help someone the way you would want him to, does not mean he doesn’t care or want to do more. Sometimes, a link might be all he can do at the time to hopefully direct a person towards people and/or suggestions that can do more.
3 times!?😹