I didn't want to be someone who addressed various comments, but there are some things that are now eating at me, so here we go. 1. I did not realize when I was editing that the airhorn would be a trigger for people, and I do apologize, and I will refrain from those edits in the future. 2. The comment about "a meme of a black woman" was more meant to be a jab at digital blackface, but I've since realized that I shouldn't have tried to comment on it in such a callous and non-nuanced way, and I do also apologize for that. 3. The "hormones, am I right, ladies?" line was not in any way meant to say that women are more hormonal than men. I was simply thinking of the "am i right, ladies?" meme, and I didn't mean it at all literally. Though I now see how it can be misinterpreted.
30 now. I had 18 yr old friends, because I went back to college, who are around 20 now. I admire them because some of them are hella skilled. But, there's a real gen gap. It's true that they're technically adults but, once you hear what they're talking about, I don't understand them anymore. Same as I don't understand the literal kids I vaguely interact with. So an 18 yr old and an 11 yr old are both kids to me. And relationship wise, would not touch. Very weird.
Yup. I’m 28 and though I have a bunch of younger friends, they really look and act like babies to me. I can’t fathom how other people my age or older don’t see them that way.
I'm 23, just finished my first year of graduate school, and I would never even think about dating someone who was still in college. Seriously. The difference in mindset between those two life stages can be that huge.
Honestly so many people have kids at a young age but little do they know they're sacrificing the experience of youth for something that they are obviously not ready for
"Sam Taylor Johnson is not a girl boss, she's an abuser. Access to children should not be a reward for breaking your own glass ceiling." Wow that was very profound to me. Great job on this video.
I agree. More people should talk about this and our brother here used his platform and also well researched video to call out grooming double standards.
The idea that an 18 year old is old enough to vote and to and to live on their own but not old enough to make their own sexual decisions is a perfect illustration of Susan Sontag's point that sex has always been a "special case" in our culture as a consequence of Christianity. Wanting to control the body and personal life of someone you acknowledge to be an adult old enough to vote is super creepy and predatory, you are the real predator here. Incidentally, the argument here is exactly what the alt-right say about Alan Turing having sex with a 19 year old so you're in good company there
@@a.madison9625 the people in this comment section and the guy who made the video are trying to project abuse onto one of the most enduring industry relationships. The two of them have both done numerous films without the other, Aaron was starring in a movie directed by Oliver Stone (Savages) with Blake Lively, he did Anna Karenina with Keira Knightly and Godzilla and many more. His family, friends and industry colleagues would have noticed had there been irregularities, I’m sure. He’s a smart, well-spoken and knowledgeable chap, I think it’s demeaning and extremely patronizing, invading their privacy and slandering them based on nothing but observations from bored Americans. The culture around sexuality in the USA is broken and everybody gets called a predator and sex offender for the slightest inappropriate situation or remark, while the real criminals move in the highest places for decades and nobody says anything. Find a hobby and a fulfilling relationship and stop spreading lies about alleged crimes that from a legal perspective weren’t any bc he was 18 and he’s English. People learn something in school in the UK and what it means to take responsibility for our choices. Try it sometime in the US
@@MFRUclips683 I agree. I've seen several of his interviews and he seems devoted to his wife and kids. You never hear about him out in bars or cheating or doing most of the things so many young actors do. If they break up tomorrow, it's still their business and acting like he didn't know what he wanted is total speculation. No one cares about older men and younger women. Look at Michael Douglas and Catherine Zeta Jones or David Foster and Katherine McFee. He's old enough to be her grandfather but as long as they're both happy, it's their business.
@@a.madison9625 I honestly think it‘s a really bad sign of what is about to come if you look at how fast internet culture changed into a mob going after a married couple like this, especially Sam, there is no decency, no respect and the toxicity and viciousness ... 🤮 I think we need more human to human interaction and less virtual communication to solve this. Because it‘s not working,
This reminds me of when Emma Watson turned 16 (the age of consent here in the UK), there was a national newspaper that ran a big picture of her on the front page with the headline "She's legal now, boys!". Creepy as f**k.
@@donttalktomeyoureannoying8736 you’re acting as if underage black girls don’t have to combat adultification... we have so much ish to fight as underage girls, let’s not romanticise creepy behaviour
As a feminist, I HATE the double standard. I bring it up all the time. Esp the teacher thing. It's always men in the comments of articles saying they wish it happened to them, which is so weird.
I watched Angus, Thongs, and Perfect Snogging when i was 12/13 and my friend asked me to look up Aaron and see if he was in anything else and it came up that he was engaged to her and I clicked on her bio and it explained how old she was and I still remember messaging my friend about how creeped out I was. Y’all I was a literal child realizing how weird it was and she’s gonna pretend it’s not inappropriate?
Me too, I was like 14 when I watched that movie and I was horrified when I realized Aaron was engaged to that woman, who could actually be his mother! wtf
Same here! I thought it was really weird even at a young age as well and doubly weird that no one was really batting an eye at it. I’m glad that this is being discussed more often now because of how predatory it is.
I'm a 26 high school teacher and I'm used to having students crushing on me, so this topic hits home. I hate how the media portrays and normalizes these inappropiate and grooming-based relationships. This is just extremely sick and wrong. I know some young people look older and mature BUT THEY ARE STILL CHILDREN and it's your responsability as an adult to clear things up.
@@cbo9090 see that generalizes a lot of male teacher or college students pursuing teaching degrees. A guy in my class wants to become a teacher because his old english teacher really changed his life and he kinda wants to help young people too. He said that it'll never happen cuz he knows male teachers are stigmatized like that. It's a hurtful thing to say. And pedophilia isn't only done by male teachers, there's lots of female teachers that are disgusting like that too.
Yes, he is very attractive but also very emotionally vulnerable. He suffers from severe social anxiety, she took advantage of this fact and took over his life AND his career. People never mention this. I don't think he is going to leave her because she makes him feel safe.
That's exactly my point. It's just too late. If he had the time to work through his issues before he met her probably he still stood a chance of being a healthy person.
That's his choice to make. Not anyone else's. If she makes him feel happy and secure, that's all that matters. Not anyone's happiness outside of the relationship.
I’m 23 and I can’t even bring myself to find 18 year olds attractive, so why tf are 40+ year old adults going after 18-19 year old kids? Just because they’re “legal” doesn’t mean it’s morally right, they’re legal for themselves, not for adults to sexualise and approach them. This shit should be illegal
I find it weird - and yes, actually dangerous; everybody can ask me about it, I'm happy to explain - how people in the US infanitlise very, very young adults and act as if even people who've not been minor for close to two years are still "basically children" . No-one's saying that anyone's able or should be able to go from 17-year-old little child who knows nothing about anything to fully-grown and super mature 18-year-old adult. In other places in this world, people are prepared for adulthood *until* they turn 18 (or whatever the local age for adulthood is), while in the US, both how many things work (asking for permission to go to the bathroom in high school, parents being allowed to suspend their driving licence and working 16-year-olds not being allowed to have their own bank accounts, apparently, what the actual fuck ...) as well as the attitude of *some* people goes way too much into the direction of treating 17-year-olds the same as 9-year-olds, meaning that many people in the US aren't prepared for adulthood at age 18. Or at least way less than, say, a just barely 18-year-old in Germany. If it were up to many people in the US, people would come of age when they're 25. Which is ridiculous.
Also she directed Fifty Shades of Grey, where the main character was abused by his mom's 50-year old friend when he was a teenager, still talks to her and doesn't see anything wrong with it. Wtf
@@fabianarodrigues3834 - They are also fictional characters clearly sexualised by the author. considering 50 shades was twilight fanfic (twilight has a whole slew of questionable things but regardless EL James still made it sexualised to the point of kinks becoming involved); it's like EL James doesn't see the issue with older women (in the form of Christian's ex) taking advantage of a younger man (or boy if you'd prefer). Take it out on EL James, take it out on Sam Taylor-Johnson who also doesn't see this as an issue. Fictional charters don't really matter.
there are men (okay guys) who find that kind of thing cool because you've slept with an older woman and maybe instead of hating or something they feel proud. it's super gross
@@novatalking Works of fiction absolutely have an affect on real life and quite often mirrors the values and beliefs of the author's culture. Sorry but your fave is problematic, gtfoi
I don't know how a 42 year old woman found a 17/18 year old boy attractive. I'm twenty eight years old and college kids look to me like fetuses they also lack emotional maturity and life experience. What can an adult talk or find on common with a teenager?!?! And what can you expect from a 18 year old child in a relationship ?!?! I can't even begin to understand the attraction to someone that just a couple of years ago was going through puberty.
I am younger than Sam and even I couldn't imagine finding him in the least enticing when he was in those earlier films. I remember when Nowhere boy came out and he looked like a kid (because he was) and even IF I can find young men very pretty at times, it is more in the 'Awwww, he is going to be a heartbreaker with that smile, eyes, hair' then thinking he is in any way an attractive prospect for my old self! I mean, OMG, what WAS she thinking?
Exactly, I’m 23 and a teacher so socializing with teenagers is part of my job, I can’t even imagine the attraction for barely legal children even though there are some very matured teens with very different types of living perspectives not like others but still they’re lacking life experience and don’t develop pretty much their personality or rational life decisions. 40 something people in relationship with teenagers basically like parent-children relationship but more intimate and that’s completely disturbing.
Saaame! I see someone who's 20 and I'm like, "Aww they've got their whole life ahead them. Be safe out there kids!" And I'm only 28 but being in your late teens or even 20/21 is a different world compared to being 28, let alone in your 40s and that's on life experience. Edit: Typos
Exactly. I saw Aaron in Angus, Thongs, & Snogging and he looked so young. He was only two years younger than me and I saw him as a kid. Now in my 30s, gen z look like children to me. I could never find them, attractive.
A woman whose name I unfortunately can't remember came to my college to talk to us about sexual assault. The memorable phrase she used was that saying sexual assault is about sex is like beating someone with a frying pan and then claiming you were cooking.
Wow, I’ve been given this message endlessly since the 90s, just goes to show how much more work we have to do to spread the wisdom. When people don’t understand it is about power, too many think it is about sex which makes it easy to blame the victim for their dress, behavior etc. while ignoring victims in nursing homes and other situations where the victim isn’t typically considered “sexy enough” to be assaulted
I watch a lot of law & order SVU and they say it a lot on there which is great. I’m glad they keep reiterating that. It’s weird how it seems so many people don’t get that still
I don’t understand how a grown adult in their 40s could have a normal relationship with someone who is barely out of high school. You are just a child then and have limited life experience. I’m 35 and I can’t imagine my partner being a teenager. Very predatory. I think people often miss that older women prey on younger guys too.
I'm 16 now and I do not see the idea of being with someone way older than me normal, Megan Fox was 17 when she met her ex husband Brian Austin Green and he was 30, Heath Ledger was 18 when he went out with Lisa Zane and she was 36
Not everybody has to be like you. As long as the relationship is consensual (and legal, both of them above 18), what's the problem then? It's a personal decision and I think we have to respect that.
I Highly doubt that.... Aaron didn't particularly had a great childhood or so I've heard. He had issues and he probably still has and he is highly dependent on Sam for approval (which however toxic is too late to get corrected) I don't think he will ever be able to get over Sam... The damage is done... And as much as it sucks he better stick with her cause he is not healthy at all and he needs Sam's guidance to navigate through life however pathetic that may sound. I think if sam didn't encouraged his attraction towards herself in his adolescent days... he probably did stand a chance but now it's pretty impossible. He is codependent as fuck.
@@GamingAnimator1 Florence Pug is a grown woman and decided to be with an older man. What is the idea? Stop Child Abuse or Eliminate Age Gap Relationships? Just because you don't like the relationship doesn't mean it's wrong.
@@liol3409 would you be ok with your 20 something year old daughter bringing home a 40 year old? Especially if they were close to your own age? I don't think so.
I think it's important to clear up the fact that teenagers being atrackted to adults is normal. Everyone has had a crush on an older teacher or a movie star. The thing that's not normal is for the adult to reciprocate. Most times I've heard this conversation come up it was with a degree of victim blaming, so congrats on talking about the role of the groomer as the problem and the one to blame.
Exactly !!!!! We are not old enought to understand that the DECENT ADULTS will not accept you, cuz they literally see you as kids, and only a perv will take advantage of that dinamic
I had a crush on Eddie Vedder as a teen when grunge came out, would I have dated him? No because he was way older than me. But now at 40 I wouldn't dream of dating someone who was 18, 19, or even in their 20's. Pretty much all the guys I find attractive are closer to my age (usually late 30's or early 40's). When Twilight came out and people were sexualizing that kid who played Jacob, that was pretty disturbing. I couldn't believe grown women were acting like that.
I'm 13 and I have a crush on my history teacher. If he makes a move on me will I feel safe though ? Not at all, I will feel rightfully violated because it's common sense that adults doing that isn't something morally correct !
You aren’t wrong! However I’ve noticed a shift happening on tik tok though that might change this current generations way of thinking towards an older person. That being, millennials vs gen z. Soooo many gen z think for example, 24 is getting long in the tooth and is “too old” to be doing trends or using a tik tok. If this rhetoric continues, older people won’t be seen as cool or more established, they are just old, until one day the gen z finds themselves old as well and at that point they will be safe from the child predators.
As a teenager I had many older grooming men chasing me. I was 15 and a 30 year old man persuited me among other cases. Luckily I was wise enough to reject these men. Now I am 40 and it has happened that a younger teen boy (around 18) made "a move" on me a couple of times. Again: I kindly rejected the boys. I could be their mother! We are in total different life stages. No match at all!
The fact that all of his children including step-children are all closer to his age than he is to his groomer wife is another unsettling thing of their relationship. I’ve never rooted for someone’s divorce so bad but even if he does come to the realization that he is indeed a victim of grooming, he’ll never get back the years she took away from him. If he does reach the point of realization I can see recovery being tough all things considered but I hope someday he does understand that he’s been a victim from the get go.
I don't think their age difference is a problem, it's more about the fact that he was basically a child when they began dating. If two responsible ADULTS fall in love, then age shouldn't matter. The problem is his age and the power dynamics when their relationship began.
I was 17 with a 24 year old. He got me pregnant at 17. By the time I hit 24 I would never ever think about being with a 17 year old CHILD. Let alone get pregnant by one. It makes me sad. I truly think of him different the older I get. He has never ever ever seen it as a problem. He says 24 for a man is the same as 17 for a girl they mature faster. Wtf.
I truly hate that comment how 'girls mature faster than boys'. I was seeing a 24 year old when I was 16, not as intense it seems as your situation, but everyone would tell me I always needed an 'older' man because I was 'mature for my age' no, I was a child. I'm sorry about your experience, I hope you're able to heal x
aside from aaron, imagine how horrified his kids will be when they realize their mom groomed their dad when he was a teenager. and they're probably already realizing that its not normal for their mother to be around the same age as their friends' grandparents and their half siblings are very close to their dad's age. i genuinely hope they're okay and have a lot of support.
@@massalleh5255 ehh, I wouldn't exactly say that Emmanuel Macron and his wife are proof that this is normal😅 gotta remember his wife was his teacher when he was 15, and 2 of his stepchildren are *older* than him. His situation is not normal😬
@@peachysandie Oh how about the children of Soon Yin and Woody Allen. I bet some people can't sleep at night assuming how their children are gonna think about how their parents met 😬
@@amypieterse3706 Yeah Hollywood has a problem with this but this esentially happens everywhere. In churches, in government, in schools, in jobs. I think every place I've worked men and women in positions of power have spoken inappropriately to 18y/os and sometimes younger and nothing is done about it because people are afraid to jeopardize their jobs. I myself have been fired after calling out one of my 40y/o managers for the inappropriate dynamic he had with the girls there. I never liked the guy from the start though, I could always tell he was fake and manipulative. The incompetence of management ultimately drove out the hard workers and honest people and only dishonest people remained after I left.
@@Jesse-um1pz Hollywood is the worst since most people are okay with it happening in the name of entertainment and art, plus it's publicly advertised as parents fight and claw to line up their children for auditions by pedos. Government, schools, and general jobs get called out but Hollyweird gets supported.
@@WhatAboutall has happened and been protected in governments, and schools, but especially churches, I would actually agrue that churches are the worst defenders of pedophiles.
@@Jesse-um1pz The same critics of churches line their kids up to be molested in Hollywood. Not to mention the parents who allow their kids to consume it. Same people who still have Netflix after Cuties.
Thank you so much for talking about this. It drives me insane to listen men talk about being sexually abused by their babysitters and teachers like it's a badge of honor. And growing up watching older women defend Sam Taylor made me sick. They'd always use the "if older men can do it why can't she?" excuse...like everyone should have the equal opportunity to be a f*cking predator!? That woman is vile and it triggers me to see their relationship and other similar relationships so normalized because I almost ended up just like Aaron so many times in my life. And the things he has said in defense of his relationship are chilling because they are exactly the types of things predators used to say to me.
Firstly, I’m sorry for what happened to you. In the case of Sam and Aaron, I’ve learned a lot from this comment section. Their relationship is not something I really researched and I did assume that they were adults when they met. My dad is 17 years older than my stepmom and they met in her early 20s and married by the time she was 24. My stepsister and I were both 8 at the time. They appear to have a very normal, healthy relationship, which in my mind is why the age gap was not an issue. However, I feel the age they met is probably the biggest factor, they were both adults. So my point is that most people probably aren’t aware of that she has known him since his childhood or that he had a rough start which made him vulnerable to predators (in addition to the inherent vulnerability of children).
@@giareneeble TW: sexual assault He was assaulted on a movie set years ago and it gave him a lot of trauma. This was before #MeToo. I think he’s doing bette though.
Yep. Older man and younger woman relationships are so normalized and defended. Sickening that people call it out if it happens the other way around but often don't with younger women.
I mean it could be worth noting his first proper relationship was with kourtney kardashian and was a similar setup but with him being the impressionable one? Not saying it's okay, just that he was normalised into it?
@@Dauerglotzer123 nah not really, they’re just 4 years apart compare to what Scott is doing now which is faaaaaaar more serious and just weirdly strange than what him and Kourtney did! Scott was 21 or 22 when he met Kourtney who was 24 or 25 at the time
I dont see an issue with casual dating when ones in their later yrs and the others young. Everyones having fun... Its when a youth is completely robbed by a grown man/woman grooming them into their perfect spouse that hits me wrong.
I was thinking about Liz Gillies and her husband, they started to date when she was 16, and he was like 37? He knows her since she was a kid because he's friend with her parents
Ikr, she seems like a sweetheart, and then this. Ew. Edit: I mean with that I am sorry that this happened to her, I don't want to belittle or hurt anyone here. English ain't my first language.
The part about one of Sam’s children from her past marriage being only 6 years younger then him really hit me. That she’s essentially old enough to be his mother. That he was six when his now wife was having her first child??? That’s just bizarre and more than unsettling.
this issue is so normalized, it's truly gross. President Macron's wife, Brigitte, was literally his teacher (he was 15) when they met and she was 40!!! But nobody talks about how sickening it is
this was the comment I was looking for. SO CRAZY!!! And it is painted as a romantic love story...disgusting. Macron was in high school and in the same class as Brigitte's daughter, who were both 15.
Even worse: She started grooming and dating him while she was still married. She couldn't even be honest to her ex-husband and her daughters before she was sure that she had trapped him. Typical move of a manipulating narc!
I feel like beyonce was also groomed, I mean she said that jay z started dating her at 19 but they were working together since she was 17 and he was 30 which is worrisome. ( and the fact that she said that she wasn't really into dating him, but her mother thought they would be a good pair is also weird) It's also scary that she forgave him for cheating on her so many times with so many people. Also I love your content 💛
@@user-nv3sh5jh3p Yeah, I know. I have found myself in those situations multiple times. The thing is Hollywood promotes it and makes it seem like it's no big deal.
I’ve been saying this a lot recently. And think about his social position at the time they started dating. He was one of the biggest names in rap and she was so so young. There was a clear power dynamic from the start but we overlook it bc it’s them. It just doesn’t sit well with me
Her parents are doing an amazing job at overexposing her and allowing access to her. If I was her mother, Drake would have been rolling on the river after the first message.
The idea that an 18 year old is old enough to vote and to and to live on their own but not old enough to make their own sexual decisions is a perfect illustration of Susan Sontag's point that sex has always been a "special case" in our culture as a consequence of Christianity. Wanting to control the body and personal life of someone you presumably acknowledge to be an adult old enough to vote is super creepy and predatory, you are the real predator here
@@albertdicey894 no, as the video creator clearly stated, multiple times throughout the video, age is just a surface level objection. Age gap relationships are okay but usually it goes hand in hand with a skewed power balance which is what the creator emphasized on. The power dynamic between a young actor (19) and a much older director (42) can never be equal. Sex is just one thing but in this case Aaron changed the course of his life for Sam, happily- hence the word grooming.
A lot of people are saying this, but it feels so icky to even CONSIDER dating someone that young, even at a smaller age gap and without the power dynamics being part of it. I'm 24 and still feel like 18/19 year olds are very different socially, and are definitely not considered a romantic option.
Actually lots of women and young women LIKE power in men, considering how many women don't date beta males, and even the ones that Preach against grooming admit it. The issue is: how are men SUPPOSED to handle the power, if women still actually want it? Like, 18 is an age old enough to consent to sex.
same, im 23 and honestly i dont look for someone that young like i barely know people who are 18/19 bc to me they are too young and we are in different places and stage of life even if the age gap isnt that big
like 6 months ago, my brother-in-law was telling, like a heroic story, that he had his first sexual encounter with a 27-year-old woman when he was like 13. He told us, my sister and I, that she was his mother's friend and when he told her, to his mom, she said nothing and gave him a shot of a drink, like a prize. That scared me a lot because that's the man raising my nephew and he said he would do the same...we, my sister and I, told him he was a victim of sexual abuse and parents neglecting...he denied it at first but as we were speaking to him, he realized we were right. We have to include boys and grooming in the conversations about sexual abuse, and not treat those events like achievements. Boys have vulnerabilities too and toxic masculinity only sums up impunity to it.
100 percent I have so many guy friends who lost their virginity with older women who seduced them or confused them into the act. So sad,one I would describe as literal rape I hate that women can get away with this. I would hate for any of my future children to experience this. It's worrisome.
That's such a worrying story. Impressive that you all made him see it for what it was. It can't have been easy. I recently had a similar thing with a friend of mine. He got really upset though, super angry, when we suggested it sounded not like a cool story, but like him getting assaulted by his older teacher when he was just 17. Do you have any advice on how to open up a conversation like that without them getting angry?
@@LorenSnel I don't have a way nor an answer, sorry. The thing is, we have dense toxic masculinity patterns that are really hard to break. It is too hard to convince someone about their victim status when they are fed as winners because of female conquer, no matter under what terms. Also, the system has created several spaces for women to open up to their abuse stories, but not for men. That's the thing, they don't want to admit it happens to them too. My brother-in-law had that moment with us, but he is not open to talking about it after that occasion. It depends on several factors and it is different for everyone. Maybe you could show other similar stories to your friend and create a welcoming safe environment for him to open up about it, and not be surrounded by others, in order for him not to feel judged. Thank you for sharing and for being an advocate of male rights too.
Jay-Z and Beyoncè were actually 31 and 19 when they started dating but were “friends first”…sounds like another case of grooming to me smh. What a sad little world we live in.
Even if Aaron first initiated the relationship, Sam as the adult, the one in power, has the responsibility to stop the relationship from furthering into a this territory. Also, seeing how fast they relationship proceeded after the movie came out, I find it how to believe Aaron proposed without even kissing her, at the very least. That is a major red flag on its own. And there is an argument to be made about why Aaron felt like he could propose, Sam would have been engaging with Aaron’s feelings and encouraging them
She probably didn’t have to try so hard to get his attention since I get how a teenager or young adult can be attracted to someone much older. We’ve all (or not idk) have had crushes on teachers, etc. But yeah. She shouldn’t have let him indulge in his feelings. and neither SHOULD SHE have been indulging in whatever sick feelings she had. And wasn’t it months or a month after they got married that she got pregnant?? Sam really hunkered him down that fast. Scared he was gonna run or something 😒
@@BoraLinda it was a month into thei ENGAGEMENT that she got pregnant, they had two kids together before the even finalized their marriage, which i agree, seems like she was trying to “trap” him into staying in the relationship
the fact that when they met (2008) , on the set of nowhere boy, Sam's eldest daughter was also on the cast, playing aaron's little sister and had to watch her married mother have a thing with a 17 going on 18 year old boy makes me sick. I do believe that he is in love with her, but she manipulated him into falling for her. isn't it weird the fact that a 19 year old wants to have a child ASAP when he was supposed to have the greatest time of his life? and she doesnt put into her mind that its not ok to take someone's entire youth just to make her wishes come true!!!! and then she puts into both of their minds that she is the hero and we are the villains (the ones trying to protect aaron) like wtf-
This is just one thing I'm gonna point out- yes, all of this is correct. The situation is weird and wrong, but wanting to have kids at an early age isn't that weird unless the situation itself is weird, does that make sense? Just wanted to say that everyone is different, some may want to have kids right out the gate, some may want to have kids in their late 20s/early 30s, some may never want to have kids! Have a wonderful day :)
@@Jellybellyjellybean well yes and thank you for your explanation. I’m sorry, it’s because everyone that I know normally o my wants to have kids when they are either over 25 or 30, but thank you anyways :)
@@julianaman4255 totally get it, most of the people I know personally are married and have a kid but 23-25, I understand how easy it is to automatically assume the rest of the world is like your surroundings
the fact she directed the movie where they address a boy is was being groomed by an older lady when he was a teen is so ironic and she still doesn't see what she did was wrong
I found the relationship between John Lennon and his mother in 'Nowhere Boy' to be portrayed as weirdly sexual which just confirmed for me that Sam Taylor-Johnson was creepy
@@benswindlehurst1857 no she’s totally right. I’m one of the biggest Beatles fans ever but could not watch that movie because the few scenes I had seen made me so uncomfortable. The one of him in the garden with her before she died made me wonder if he had somehow been sexually abused by an older woman before he called her “mum” and I realized who she was. Very gross implications, this woman (commenter) is totally right
I started watching this film and it really unsettled me because of the way they portrayed the relationship between John and his mum, i basically had to stop watching the film i was so creeped out
Plus. I mean Aaron looks 12!!!! Mature or not he was a boy! A lonely boy ! Who was over his head with flattery by an older experience woman. Who before he know became a dad at 19. Its soooo grown in soomnay levels!!
When your read interviews from them you see all the red flags… she says he is an “old soul”, that he never liked to act as a young person, like partying (well he never had the chance to see if he liked it). She also mentioned how he prefers to stay home being a Dad and refuses many jobs and prefers her to work. Because working means that he gets to be away from her… she convinced him of all of these things. Not for a second I believe that he came to this “preferences” on his own. It’s such an obvious case of a toxic / abusive relationship.
He probably has some unadressed mommy/parental issues. There are people who are like this from a very young age but since this behaviour is not typical, they usually have some underlying psychological issues, minor or major.
I agree with this video so much but you said he had only had minor roles before he met Sam. That isn't really accurate as he had a leading role in Angus, Thongs & Perfect Snogging before Nowhere boy. In the UK he was already a household name for teens at the time. Something I noticed when I watched a behind the scene's from that movie is he is being constantly complimented by the Director, Gurinder Chadha, a woman in her 40s at the time who made comments about how he was "drop dead gorgeous" and "so hot" (the video is still up on RUclips) so even before he met Sam, he had encountered an older woman director in a position of power being completely inappropriate with him when he was only 17. I'm not sure if this first experience lead him to believe that it was appropriate for these women to act like this to him so he was more open to Sam's advances but I truly think there is something deeper to all of this. While some men have preyed on young people through history openly, maybe some women have privately too and should 100% be called out for it.
I always think about this or that article of Daniel Radcliffe talking about losing his virginity at 16 (age of consent in the UK as far as I'm aware) to a MUCH older woman while still filming the Harry Potter films. It makes my stomach queasy how so many people don't bat an eyelash at this stuff.
ruclips.net/video/r1SR9B8HBWY/видео.html Video of Idris Elba talking about dating a 19 year old when he was 13 on The Jonathan Ross show (a mainstream interview) and the audience not batting an eyelid
I remember hearing rumours about that back then, but I was a kid, it was the 2000s (very tabloid-y time) and I didn't really have the power of the internet to confirm or support those claims. So was it true?
The thing with Woody Allen and Soon-Yi Previn always gets me. They say he had little contact with while she was underage, and she never saw him as a father figure. Let's assume that's true and there was no grooming or anything wrong going on before they started dating... She is still the sister of his children, and I think that is wrong. Imagine your father marrying your adoptive sister. People say follow your heart, but sometimes your heart is stupid.
I don't know what's behind their story, if there are real feelings, but even if it's so I find it really creepy. I could never imagine having a romantic relationship with someone who's supposed to be a parental figure for me, even if they're not related to me by blood. It's just disgusting
I wonder why people aren't more outraged about this? He raised her as a baby. This is incest, This deserves more attention than two people over legal age getting together.
@@thecraft2091 Mia Farrow adopted Soon-Yi well before she was in a relationship with Allen, so he wasn't necessarily involved in raising her. Doesn't make it right though.
@@emmamartinshh Also, why is a relationship with his biological children not as important to Woody Allen as Soon-Yi? His son Ronan doesn't want anything to do with him because of this and the sexual assault allegations made my Dylan Farrow.
I completely agree! The subject of male victims is one that needs to be taken just as seriously, and spoken about more, and I say that as a female sexual abuse survivor. I would love to see more men involved in the conversation without fear of being ridiculed by others. Both men AND women are part of the problem. And I completely agree with what he said about boys being taught that it’s an aspiration to “get with” AKA be preyed on and/or sexually assaulted by grown women. I’ve seen it so many times and it absolutely disgusts me. I always think about my mother’s friend, who was molested by an adult female babysitter. My mom has always tried to help him, but to this day, and he passes it off with comments about how “lucky,” he was. :(( It’s incredibly tragic how normalized this is.
I had a massive crush on him way back when his career started. I always found it so strange that he went off to marry a woman who could be his mother right in the beginning of his career. Their relationship came from nowhere basically. I'm happy people are reacting to this finally. I never heard anyone talk about it until now, I thought I was the only one. Also, I'm a feminist, but I have too many feminist friends who don't see the issue or try to tone down the male victims of abuse specifically is if the perpetrator is female - feminism is about equality for all, we need to fight for all victims and not only one gender(!!), that is the meaning of equality! Great video btw!
Lol so it felt wrong to you so that proves it's grooming and wrong? He was ur crush, u were at the very least biased in any conclusions u might have drawn. And right now u are experiencing confirmation bias. U want it to ne wrong
Yeah as a feminist, I had also for years found certain feminists focus too much on female victims. But victims can be anyone and feminism, although a movement, is also applied to critique what women and men do, and in this case, predatory behavior. Honestly, I'm more still disturbed on the double standards when it comes to female criminals. There's a lot, but people tend to underestimate women and even in court some sentences are personally too lenient.
She targeted him as her midlife crisis, she saw a young, eager talented actor who probably looked up to her in her powerful job and she felt it stroke her ego. It’s a creepier spin on the “trophy wife” cliche.
@@bambina5604I’ll bet that none of us on here know them personally- and neither do you I’m guessing. If I’m ‘narrow minded’ for finding their relationship uncomfortable and bizarre- so be it. I just happen to think she abused her position of power and if this situation was reversed and an adult man did this to a young woman it’d be spoken of in the same breath as woody Allen.
@@Katie_Woo I don't know them, that's why I don't make up stories on how their reletionship started and how it "stroke her ego". You can't find their reletionship whatever you want, it's the story you trump up around it that's narrow-minded.
@@bambina5604 I used the word “probably” because it’s speculation, like most of the comments on here. My opinion isn’t even half as offensive as what actually happened in this story
"it's this odd idea that the day you are legally allowed to do something, you're also mentally prepared to do something" I have been trying to find these right words for YEARS.
When you mentioned the “teacher-student” grooming I just couldn’t stop thinking about Emmanuel Macron, the president of France, he married his teacher, she is 25 years her senior, it’s just so unsettling
One physical education teacher at my high school openly shared, and it was widely known, that he was married to a woman that was at one point his student, and now she is a science teacher at the same school. Super fucked up.
i related so hard to the "19 year olds should be passionate god knows i should have been (why did i say that im 22)" part. people who lost their teen years to depression give me a hell yeah.
I didn't miss out on my teens due to depression however I did miss out on most of my 20s (21-28) due to depression & severe addiction issues that were so strong they completely controlled my life.
It makes me sad to think about how ATJ basically lost his entire early adulthood to this woman. Your late teens and early 20s are supposed to be a period of personal growth and experimentation. Instead he basically started his 20s as a parent to three kids. And seeing photos of them during the Nowhere Boy press circuit really puts into perspective how young he was back then. He still had rosy cheeks and baby fat on his face. He LOOKED like a kid. What grown woman would see that and think, “That’s husband material.” If he ever divorced her, I’m not sure he’d even know what to do with himself, since it seems like he’s never been alone as an adult before. Side note: Sam Taylor-Johnson used to have Instagram, but when ATJ was trending on Twitter, a bunch of people ran to her comments and harassed her.
@TheStonesSing right it's wild how standards/values change over generations. marrying your high school sweetheart used to be common af, but now that time period is "supposed" to be for experimentation lol
@@n3rds3y3vi3w in some ways I agree but times are changing. If we stuck to traditional ways there would be no advancements. Yea our early 20’s are supposed to be for experimentation. Marrying your highschool sweet heart WAS common because people were expected to get married. And what are the divorce rates on those? People should get out and explore see what they like before settling down. There’s no reason to lock yourself into a contract at such an early age especially as a male. The early twenties is to get out of your comfort zone, why settle for less?
@@n3rds3y3vi3w Population growth can also contribute to a seemingly increase in divorce rates but could not mean much relative to older generations. So not really. Like I said times are changing. Some of the younger generations don’t even want to have kids or are having children at older ages. Men are less willing to get married at younger ages and women want to follow their ambitions nowadays. It’s better to experiment and not have regrets then to settle and ponder on what you’ve missed out on
@@n3rds3y3vi3w divorce rates going up could also be as a result of women empowerment. Women no longer have to stay in abusive relationships as they can now get an education, work and be independent. Just an fyi🙂
I read somewhere he said before marrying her he was very lost. He had alcohol and drug abuse problems, also comes from a neglected childhood, she is obviously a mother figure to him and I believe he preferred to live under this mother figure shield than become strong by himself, he wanted kids fast (she said), more distractions for him to not focus on his own growth, because guess what ?being broken and alone makes you look straight to the ugliness inside, but that is the only way to real growth, I saw an interview of the two promoting a movie, she did 90% of the talking, she clearly wears the pants there, he mostly seems to be filling a part, not very secure of himself, but again how can he have a strong sense of self when all he has known of himself since 18 is a reflection of his much older partners?
@@genesiscruz4885 I have seen it happening around me, my sister married a guy in his 30's when she was 17, when she separated 17 years later she acted like a teenager again because she missed the natural development she should of have been experienced, another friend married at 19 with a guy her age but even when she is a happy mother and wife now in her late 30's ,she lacks the social an emotional maturity of a individual of her age, that is because she doesn't have much of a life outside her home and there for she couldn't develop in that area, when the security blanquet is no longer there we feel lost, and I think that is why is important to aim for individual growth apart from everything else .
She has mentally and physically and emotionally traumatized and damaged him and she doesn't give a s*** she's practically going out with her own son I'd say considering she has children his age
Ever watched nowhere boy? there are some seriously weird vibes between the mother and Aaron Taylor Johnson, and knowing that Sam Taylor Johnson directed it, makes it even weirder.
yeah but it was actually based on real events...pretty sure john lennon (who the movie is based on) had a moment where he was open to the idea of being intimate with his mother irl...but nonetheless it's weird that she felt she had to keep such a weird fact in the movie...
@@feebee6810 she also directed 50 shades of grey, where the main guy had an affair with his mother's friend when he was 15... he even thanked her for it. really disturbing how sam loves to direct this type of relationship.
I'm french, and this resonates a lot with our president Macron's history with his wife. They met when he was 15 or 16 (the age is not clear because they probably gave a false date for their first meeting) and she was her teacher. It seems they began their relationship when he was 19 and she was double his age.
@@wearestackedontopofeachother they met when he was in highschool in her theatre class (with her daughter, too), so I'd say 15. It seems that the relationship maybe began at that time, since his parents tried to separate them by sending him to another highschool in Paris. And the codependency (well, the younger partner's dependancy) discussed in this video seems to be still existing in the Macron couple 25 years later.
remember victorious? Beck was always seen as the most attractive boy in school so much so there is a scene that a grown woman - I think she was an ambulance driver - tries to ask him out, literally using the words 'you wanna go out sometime?' and they treated it as a joke. Luckily jade protected him but still, this was a kid show and it was treated like a joke than a predatory practice.
And there was the episode where a reality show filmed at their school, Beck auditions for it, and a clearly 20-something production assistant asks him "You have a girlfriend?" When he says yes, she goes "Dang it!"
The intention of Kevin Feige was for Wanda to resurrect Pietro, just like she did in the comics at one point. In WandaVision we even got hints of that, but weirdly Aaron refused to comeback, and i'm starting to wonder why. MCU is a long trip, you stay in a role for 10 - 15 years and work in a lot of projects per year. I bet that Sam is the reason why he don't want to be Pietro anymore. She is trully abusive and seems to keep him locked.
that honestly sucks, i would've loved to see atj as pietro again after being killed off right in the first marvel movie he starred in. he has great chemistry with elizabeth olsen and u could clearly see that during age of ultron, so i assume that might also have something to do with it.
@@ashdagamer880 There's also the 2014 Godzilla film where Aaron and Elizabeth Olsen played a couple. Age of Ultron came out in 2015, so one could assume that AoU and Godzilla were being made at almost the same time. Maybe Sam didn't like the chemistry
they talked about how "they don't like being apart" and have said they never have been apart for more than three days in their entire relationship and i'm pretty sure that's why he hasn't returned to the mcu
As a feminist, I absolutely believe that male victims need to be talked about more often. It gets me so pressed that there are people out there that ignore these issues. The system is broken, and saying that women are the only ones who matter in this circumstance goes against everything they should be fighting for. There are issues on both sides, and they need to be addressed and discussed openly. Great vid!♥️
“As a feminist... *MRA talking point about the false idea that women opress male victims and men are the real victims of rape culture and it’s men that don’t get spoken about in society*” you liberal feminists are braindead
@@Moo-fb2kb Bruh- I never said that women shouldn’t be talked about as well. Just as the video said, women are significantly assaulted/raped/targeted more, but that doesn’t mean men should be ignored. Idk why tf you decided responding to a bunch of “liberal” feminists in this comment section was a good idea, but to me it just seems like you’re asking for a fight. Kinda pathetic that you’re spending your time mocking someone.
@@Moo-fb2kb While I see your point, it IS important to point out that all of these issues stem from the same systemic problems about harmful gender roles and norms, and that feminism is intended to abolish those norms, which in turn would help all victims of abuse. I think if more people saw it that way, we wouldn't have so many toxic dudes yelling "what about the male victims??" because they would see that it all stems from the same toxic bullshit about femininity being weak and masculinity being strong.
He was 18. If you’re an 18 year old dude and you get totally taken advantage of by a woman, you definitely deserve it. One thing no one ever talks about ever is that the whole reason that 18 is that “magic number” that makes you an adult, is because 16 is still kinda questionable. 18 is concrete. You’re definitely old enough to think for yourself. Even if she actually did.... he’s still a full grown adult. I get that 18 year olds are borderline retarded. I mean look at the dude in the video. He’s clearly experienced just enough to where he thinks his opinion is Important. But it’s old enough to make your own decision
@@jarrettfinney4882 why in the world would 18 be a magic number lmao. what is the monumental difference between 17 and 18?? when you're 18 you're possibly still even in high school, or barely starting college. a lot of people at that age are still learning emotional intelligence and the workings of the proverbial "real world". it's not hard to fathom that an 18 year old boy could get taken advantage of by an older/more experienced man or woman. especially if you don't encounter that adult in a nefarious situation, why would you EXPECT them to take advantage of you?? moreover, the whole point of abuse and manipulation is often to be inconspicuous so that even the victim has trouble realizing they're being taken advantage of. there are a million other psychological factors that go into this that have to do with aaron's, in this example, and other's upbringing, traumas, etc. that we'll likely never know about. aaron did not deserve whatever happened to him. you're also not a full grown adult until youre 25. sooooooo LMFAO
@@jarrettfinney4882 i’m 19 and i’ve experienced so much emotional growth in the last year that dating an 18 year old seems disgusting to me now. Even if they’re old enough to make their own decision, the maturity gap is gross and would lead to a situation in which i have more power over the other person. Imagine that, but with, like, a 40 year age gap. Imagine how much more mature a 60 year old is than an 18 year old, and the ways they can weaponize that maturity against an 18 year old. THATS what’s gross, it’s not about the 18 year old “being able to make their own decisions”. They’re definitely NOT mature enough to realize that there’s a power imbalance.
@@nuclearclarity3778 I got into a lot, but what I’m really trying to say is that I haven’t seen any evidence at all that she ever abused her power in any way. Now, maybe she did. I wasn’t there. I just don’t think it should be presented as a fact with no evidence at all. I mean he’s still with her, there must be something there. If anything he’s got the power now and he’s still there
@@vero6618 idk if you noticed, but I put quotation marks around magic number. Obviously I don’t think there’s anything magic about going from 17 to 18, but for more ppl than you think, going from 17 to 18 means “ok, old enough. Legal. Mind your own business and don’t give me shit now. We’re two consenting adults.” I’m fully aware that 18 year olds aren’t the brightest. None of us were at that age, but I can honestly say, if you’re an 18 year old dude and you get “taken advantage of” by an older woman, you definitely deserve it because you’re brain dead. I’m not saying one is smarter than the other, I’m just saying being an 18 year old boy, and being an 18 year old girl is not the same thing AT ALL. When I was 18, I enlisted in the military. Looking back, I wish I wouldn’t had listened to the people I had listened to, like all of the recruiters and parents who told me it was a great idea, but at the end of the day, I signed the dotted line. It was my choice. It was a mistake, but it was a mistake I made for sure. And it was a lot more serious than “I decided to date someone”. I could’ve actually been killed, but there’s no way on earth I could ever go back and say I was taken advantage of by a recruiter. And he’s not saying he was taken advantage of at all. It’s just something this piece of shit decided to make up completely out of thin air. Even if y’all don’t agree, I get it, but how do y’all not see how much of a psychopath this twerp on screen is?
i love how he literally said that men and the patriachy feed into harmful ideas about male victims and in the comments i see a bunch of people blaming it on feminism. he is literally applying feminist theory here
No he's not. He has some tiny flaws. Yes the majority of people telling the little boy he's lucky are overwhelming men. And they're overwhelming men because feminists have made it difficult to hold female perpetrators responsible/accountable when they say women experience more violence than men. It's also overwhelming men because both parents dont teach their sons the basic warnings like they do to women. If he says that women are overwhelming victims that's just feeding into the stereotype that women cant be perpetrators. I'm sure you've heard feminists that have said "the oppressed cannot be the oppressor" or how Jezabel blogged about hitting their boyfriends.
@@carolinahernandez627 you are just....speaking outta your ass. It is a statistical fact that women make up the majority of victims of sexual/relationship abuse. It is also a statistical fact that men make up the majority of predators, even amongst male victims. Pointing this FACT out is not what makes it harder for men to speak out, nor does it have anything to do with feminism. The attitude that women are incapable of being predators stems from the patriarchal notion that men are the natural pursuers in relationships. Sexist ideas about the nature of a relationship between men and women are the reason why men will ridicule other men for being victimized by a woman, because men are supposed to be the ones with the power in their minds. If you bothered to do any research before you typed this drivel you'd know that the majority of the time when men speak out on their abuse, their supporters are overwhelmingly other women. Terry Crews is a prime example of this and said so out his own mouth. The majority of the time that male abuse is even given a platform, it is by a feminist organization. So to blame feminism for men not feeling comfortable talking about abuse, when other men are usually the ones silencing them, is comically idiotic.
@@carolinahernandez627 women saying they experience more violence than men isn't feeding into anything. It is a FACT. A FACT that is STILL being denied but alas. People DO, though, use that information to undermine men. It happens. It happens because people use it to twist narrative; it is a fact nonetheless.
Harry Styles was 17 when he was "romantically linked" to 31 year old Caroline Flack, which started an endless cycle of over-sexualization and jokes about him "chasing cougars" which still follow him 10 years later. He endlessly denied their relationship, yet it was pushed onto him in every single interview and article written about him at the time. The whole thing was absolutely disgusting and shows how sick the media is in perpetuating grooming.
Bruh! Don’t even get me started on Scott disick dating that 19 year old girl and the relationship before that! Man is damn near about to turn 40 and is messing around with TEENS
I think the delay on getting married was because Sam was still married. They had kids while waiting for the divorce to come through since Sam was already in her early 40s so time was running out to tie Aaron down for good. I'm so glad people are starting to talk about Sam and Aaron, it has creeped me out since the start. I don't think they will break up, at least not anytime soon. I'm sure Sam has made Aaron completely dependent on her.
Yes! I’m glad someone mentioned tying him down, that’s literally the only reason I can think of for them rushing to have kids. It saddens me and my heart breaks for him, though people argue it’s late, I hope and pray he can wake up and realize how wrong it was of her to do what she did.
That's absolutely what she was doing, hes less likely to leave her when they have kids. He's more likely to stay around for his kids, but also he can't choose to end it later in life when he wants kids with someone his own age.
Sam's daughter's age is closer to Aaron than she is. This is messed up. I feel so bad for Aaron. Abuse and inappropriate sexualizing goes both ways. Young girls and boys are sexualized so badly. It also happened to my friend, and boys comparing her to an adult film actor just because she was more developed. It really makes us feel unsafe and I hate the feeling. People should listen to you more. Predatory grooming should receive more attention and more people should speak about it.
he was fresh out of high school/his teenage years and he was already trapped with a child. he didn’t even get to live before she pulled him away from the world.
Period, men are so influenced by other men to think that they’re “lucky” instead of abused or taken advantage of to the point where some will never try to get out of the situation or even realize the situation they’re in. This relationship is obviously extremely twisted in any way you look at it. What kind of healthy minded middle aged grown woman would accept basically a kid’s (who you’ve allegedly only ever had a buisness relationship with) marriage proposal after just months of meeting…
@@lilianal410 I just looked it up myself and damn.. this world is screwed up.. being 18 just makes it legal but the kids(even below 18) nowadays are so sexualized with even the clothes they wear. influenced by everything like Tv shows, music, ect. Its normalized and it’s disgusting
I had an ex who thought the photo was hilarious - it was someone in line for autographs handing her a photo of an upskirt shot of her barely 18, and the look on her face was pure horror and disgust. He thought it was so funny. (Yeah I dumped him not long after that, freakin sleazeball) But this made me remember that.
I remember reading once about how at the time they had met, aaron was very self destructive, smoking and drinking in excess, and how sam was the one who turned his life around and put him on the right path. I feel like that gives a lot of context into why he may feel so attached to her, like maybe he feels like without her he would still be so self destructive and that's why he's stayed with her. And that also kinda plays into the power imbalance as he may have seen her as like this godly figure that saved him from himself.
Isn’t it funny how she directed 50 shades of Grey and in that story Christian Grey was grommed as a teenager by an older woman? His adoptive mother’s friend… that must have been awkward
Last year I worked at McDonald’s where a man was “dating” a 17yr old HS senior. I went nuts. I complained and eventually quit the job. Before I quit I went to the police and imagine my surprise to find out in the state of Texas legal age is 17. Nobody cared and management treated me like I was the problem.
If the legal age is 17 then it ain't a problem. Not saying it isn't weird, but people don't have to live their lives according to your moral standards.
@@r.b_7875 how the fuck are you comparing this to slavery. Honestly of you aren't mature enough at 18 to make your own decisions then flipping hell get a grip.
The topic discussed reminds me of Björn Andrésen. He starred in Death in Venice (1971)- a film that is still considered to be highly controversial today because of its somewhat ambiguous and disturbing sexualization of a minor. The film however achieved great popularity at the time of its premiere- and the 14 years old Björn was being worshipped and idolized all over the world because of his ethereal beauty and youthful appearance. A new documentary produced this year (2021) called The most beautiful boy in the world features Björn himself- now a 66 year old man- talking about his trauma and subsequent depression because of what he experienced during the aftermath of the film. I don't know the exact details of what was said since i haven't watched the documentary myself but according to the summary that i read, Björn mentioned being brought to ''gentleman club'' by the director of the film and being inapproriately approached by many men who were years older than his own age. Not to mention many other similar instances which were only implied involving adult women . It is indeed upsetting that somehow all of this was swept under the carpet and many other incidents concerning young adult or children are generally disregarded due to the people involved and the public's attitude. I hope that people will become more aware of this problem and how it could destroy a person's life in so many ways- especially for a barely coming of age teenager. More importantly, i hope that the victims will be able to find their peace and continue to lead a normal, happy life, which is unfortunately not the case for Björn.
Aaron Taylor-Johnson and I are less than two months apart in age, and I remember his rise to fame and the beginning of this relationship. And it always felt uncomfortable to me. This video CALLED to me; thank you for making it and providing a thoughtful perspective on an incredibly uncomfortable but essential-to-discuss topic.
Also I know you weren’t going to speculate, but I’d speculate that there’s something gratifying to adults when younger, cool people give us attention. I have a feeling that Sam probably was incredibly charmed by Aaron, and she was eager for the attention he gave her. That leads of course to your point that, as the older person with more life experience, she then had the responsibility to define the relationship. And she defined it in a way that was… I’d say wildly inappropriate. As adults, when children or very young adults give us attention, it is our responsibility to hold that power over them respectfully and thoughtfully. Sam didn’t do that, and while it seems harmless to her and Aaron (because they both wanted this), it was still wrong. /my addendum
His wife is the same age as me. I would never go for someone who could be my child. She was 23 when he was born. She could be his mom. I don’t know how she can defend marrying a young kid.
as an eighteen year old, i recognize that WE DON’T KNOW ANYTHING. seriously, SO many people my age think that just because they’re legally an adult, they know what their doing. *newsflash:* no you don’t. you can be considered mature and grown but you have to remember that the bar is so low for us to be considered “mature” and even if you ARE mature and have a ton of life experience, there are still bound to be things you do not understand. you are not as grown as you think you are and that’s not the worst thing in the world but please keep that in mind. edit: forgot to point out that you will never wake up at a certain age knowing everything about the world and even about yourself. you’ll definitely know more than when you were younger but everyone’s perspective is still always going to be a bit blurry but that’s just what it is. my siblings are between their mid thirties-early twenties and i can guarantee you that they are not the all-knowing beings we thought they’d be when we were all a tad bit younger. still, if i can’t convince you from my outside perspective of other people, you can read Mrs Winter’s comment about a first-hand experience/perspective. thank you so much them for pointing it out :) TLDR; there isn’t an age you know everything but you especially don’t know much at a younger age. being really really young with someone waaaay older isn’t a flex, it’s weird.
Oh boy, do I have newsflash for you: NOBODY does. Doesn't matter the age, people barely know what they are supposed to do (let alone someone else). Doesn't matter how old you are there will always be things you do not understand. I'm much older than you and retrospectively, things I didn't know at 18 have zero to do with romantic relationships. I didn't know things about life, about survival, about myself, one never knows themselves fully but I did already know all that I need to know about relationships and that is: Relationship doesn't need to be hard work and compromise because good match is what makes it really work. I never had bad relationship no matter if with someone younger or older, at 19 or now in my marriage at 30. There is this myth of some adulthood but people are same naive, same biased and same lost at 50 as they were at 15 just in a bit different way.
@@joannawinters6592 yeah i think SO many people my age forget that there’s no specific birthday in which you wake up and boom: you know everything. unrealistic. people have this ideal fantasy of what it’s going to be like when they reach a certain age and boy are they in for a disappointing treat. thank you for your input!
@@joannawinters6592 I think we can all agree that there is a basic level of experience you gain as you get older. Sure some people are going to be more lost at 50 than other 50 year olds but not as lost as a 15 year old. I can say for certain that I am a much more evolved version of my 18 year old self and it's all down to life experience. I've gotten to know myself better in those 10 years as well as gotten to know the world better and how I interact with it. Of course something doesn't click when you reach a certain age. You just learn lessons everyday as a growing person and eventually it adds up. Might not get you as far as other people's lessons but everyone's journey is different and at a certain point you do have to actively put in work if you want to grow more as a person.
Yes!! If you go to a bar or club and STILL aren’t allowed to drink alcohol, even being 18, you are too young!!!! Idk how 18 year olds are considered adults. You can’t even legally drink alcohol until 4 years later. Legality doesn’t equal Morality!
22:15 "Abusers can often be completely unaware that they're being abusive. Either because they were socialized to see abusive behavior as normal or they've been abused themseves and don't really recognize it as such" This is very important! it's not like "you're an abuser, you're a bad person", but "society made you an abuser, please recognize your role in it".
I remember finding out about Aaron Taylor-Johnson from "Angus,Thongs and Perfect Snogging" and looking him up, thus finding out about this weird pair. I remember thinking back then just how inappropriate this all seems and yup, didn`t get any better.
Doesn’t it seem like this has affected the trajectory of his career? I’ve known about him for a while and have often wondered why he doesn’t have many roles as the “leading man” or as a romantic interest, it seems like he should be way more famous but he always plays such minimal roles. I’m speculating here but part of me thinks that she doesn’t want him to acquire more power (via fame), be romanticized by an audience his age, or to act in roles that have him getting cozy with another person. His film choices always felt off to me, like he could be doing a lot more, be a household name, idk it’s weird and seems like he’s minimizing himself somehow
It’s curious that he got big off of comic book movies like Age of Ultron and the Kick Ass movies, and now he’s working on smaller work like A Million Little Pieces. (It’s interesting that nobody talks about the movie, but the book was huge until Oprah put the author on blast) If she really is controlling his career, then smaller movies mean less money earned and shorter film schedules. I wonder about the movies where he has sex with a female costar. He got down in Kickass, and he had a threesome with Blake Lively and another guy (sorry I can’t remember his name) in Savages. All those movies were filmed well after he and Sam got together.
@@reikun86 I don’t think she’s overtly controlling him, it looks more like he’s been groomed at an impressionable age to stay minimal; so he probably does this unconsciously as not to upset her. Or maybe because he got locked down with kids so soon he can be easily guilted or chooses to make more time at home. She’s in a higher level position as a director and he’s in a less powerful position as an actor, but if he was fulfilling his potential (which I think he isn’t, just personally) he would be far more famous and adored worldwide and therefore more powerful, in access with more people who desire to work with him and therefore acquire more personal power in the relationship dynamic and he might start thinking of other possibilities. Possibilities outside of her. One of the ways abusers or groomers operate is by keeping you away from people or making you feel bad about associating with other people such that you start to associate being social and making bigger moves with bad feelings. Perhaps, why he’s always so shy and distant on other movie sets. Idk it’s pure speculation of course. And even Age of Ultron was one of his first spotlight roles YEARS after Kickass and he doesn’t even play a super significant character and then dies. After Kickass, Angus, Thongs and Perfect Snogging, and yes, even Nowhere Boy where he plays the lead it just doesn’t makes sense that he would end up playing kind of boring side characters that no one remembers all the time.
this video is amazing. it never clicked in my brain that the people who are saying the stuff about him divorcing sam so they can "have a chance" was resexualizing him. this really provided me some perspective and opened my eyes to what people are saying.
@@ibabechanel regardless of that, grooming as a whole is utterly wrong! Your comment is very invalidating of the fact that this young man was taken advantage of and manipulated! You are part of the problem! I suggest you get help rn!!!!
That part when the couple says they can't be separated even for some days always rubs me the wrong way. It looks like Aaron can't function without his wife. That's expected once he didn't had the chance to live his adult life and experiment by himself, free from her influence. The thing I got from this, also from how fast they did everything (engagement, children, etc), it's that Sam was trying to get him before he knows better, before he can see that he can live without her. That kind of dependence is toxic, but benefits her, and he would not see how bad the situation is because that's all he knows. Grooming at it's best. Also great video, you talked about such a serious issue but was able to keep things interesting, that's talent
I read that he was battling drugs and depression and it was also implied that he was suicidal when he met her. She helped him get better and he's forever grateful for her. Seems like the case of a patient attaching himself to his psychiatrist.
how anyone finds barely legal 'adults' leaving their teenage years attractive is sick. what could you possibly have in common with an 18 year old at 40+? you were double their age at birth. you just want them for their bodies and to manipulate their impressionable/naive minds. it's abuse.
I'm 26 and I wouldn't touch an 18 year old with a 10 foot pole. What do you even talk about? Some of my students are that age and they don't have even remotely the same references and experiences I have. If you're 30+ and you're interested in anyone below 20, you don't want a partner, you want a plaything.
This exactly! What do you have in common with an 18 year old when you’re twice their age!? I don’t understand that. “They’re mature for their age” is such a bs excuse as well.
The way you spoke about this issue objectively, in depth and with reliable sources was amazing. You touched important issues and addressed it properly, without offending the audience. Your statement about abusers and power dynamics was so true. Its sad to think so many young vulnerable people out there are being groomed, manipulated and used in such a manner, without realising that they are actually the victims. Thank you.
Yes, thank you very much for talking about this. No matter what your gender is, grooming is grooming. I'm so tired of people making excuses that they've been together for over 10 years. And?. That doesn't make it any better, it's still pretty bad. And speaking of celebrity children, I can't understand how much people sexualize them, it's disgusting and inhumane. I'll never forget how much they sexualized the entire cast of Stranger Things, or how people were counting down because Billie Eilish was turning 18. After that, it came out that she was the most searched on p0rn sites. Really disgusting!.
I don't get why people do that! They did a countdown on Natalie Portman turning 18 (when she starred in Leon the Professional, she got a lot of fanmail from adults saying very sexual things about her, she was a literal child back then) and they did it with the olsen twins as well. It's creepy...but for some fucking reason, it was done on a radio station at the time. It's sick.
Glad you're talking about this, because it's a bigger problem than people want to acknowledge and it tends to be very jaded. Right now it seems to be: Adult man grooms teenage girl = Not Okay. Adult gay man grooms teenage boy = Not Okay. Adult Woman grooms teenage boy = High Fives. Grooming damages kids no matter how its spun and adults of both sexes should know better.
And don't forget grooming/abuse of young girls by women! I feel like the "high five"-thing was way worse 20 years or so ago, and has become much better.
@@alphadream953The only way it won't be grooming is when they see eachother in the past but get together after a lot of time has passed. Adults getting into a relationship with minors is not okay, unless the age gap is like 1-2 years and/or they were in a relationship before hand. Otherwise, it's not worth taking a risk.
Exactly. I remember reading articles about female teachers having affairs with their students and would see comments by adult men saying things like “why didn’t I have teachers like that growing up”, “stupid kid should’ve kept quiet so he could keep getting it” or “why did he say anything, he had a good thing going”. This kind of shit makes me sick. It’s that kind of attitude that keeps young (or old) boys from getting help when they are being sexually abused. It makes me think of all the victims of abusive priests.
literally the same thing with my comfort celebrity, Bill Skarsgård. it makes no sense. you'd seen about the Hunter Echo and Millie Bobby Brown thing? they were like 4 years difference yet Hunter did such a heinous thing to Millie. It's the same for Bill. He's like 6-7 years younger than the woman he stays with and that's disgusting because she isn't half as reputed as him and attends these premieres with him to gain the "name fame" which basically sucks and i hate it. she seems so manipulative by nature and i hope Bill wakes up one day and realizes that he's been staying in manipulation because you can see it in the pictures.
@@anurimamukherjee1813 oh my god she's that much older? How old was she when they met?? I saw something once where ppl didn't like her but I never looked much into it
this is an example of someone who is advocating for men's health but not simultaneously bringing down women. Good job! Also.... 7:25 immediately subscribed.
I have a feeling that what you consider "bringing down", is some very light criticism. I also think a chief deciding factor in that is who its coming from, and their ideological background. Just a feeling though.
@@elizamoylan1948 Not sure how exactly I can elaborate. I've heard this stuff before, and it gets banned and panned without being very different in content. Maybe you could give us some examples of people advocating for men's health while simultaneously bringing women down.
@@bannedmann4469 That's such bullshit. Men constantly feel the need to put down women under the guise of men's health or education. It's all over the internet. Dr. Shaym is a perfect example of a channel that does that. All the alpha male channels that call women sluts and are teaching men how to avoid the "wrong" kind of women. Every Christian conservative channel like YogiOabs Reborn. All the stupid bullshit reddit videos asking men about the sexism they experience complete with thumbnails mocking women and feminism as well as multiple men actively trying to position their sexism as way harder to handle than any a woman faces. It's never-ending.
@@bannedmann4469 like for example I (a woman) could be talking about how I feel unsafe walking home at night because I fear being attacked by a man and then a man would interrupt and say “well men get raped too” “what about the male victims of sexual assault” “you know women can be rapists too” and while all those are completely valid points it wasn’t really the time or place to bring that up because they are using a valid argument to try to dismantle another completely valid argument. And yes this has happened to me.
He was groomed and got his youth taken away by a predator. It's obvious that because the groomer was a woman people see it in a different light. It should never be seen as a normal relationship, it has always been about the power for her she can take credit for making his career. If you see a problem with a 18 year old girl and a 30 year old man than you should see how horrifying this whole "relationship" is.
I would disagree, sir. Beyonce was 17 when she met Jay Z who was I believe 30. It's pretty much grooming but is still not talked about a lot. Yes, there's a bit of sensitivity happening on sexual harrassment where people are finally beginning to sympathize but we (men, women, others) still have a long way to go
I have a friend, her teacher at university has a very young husband. She met him at camping. She was 30, he was 15. She said that he looked old enough. They started dating and got married the next day after his 18 year's birthday. 6 months later they had a baby. He moved to her apartment when he was 15. His parents tried to fight for their son, but he cut them off. He attends to university now, he is 21. I asked for a picture just out of curiosity, she showed me a pic that was taken at camping. He looked like a child! Even worse, like a teenage girl. The teacher posts his nudes on her Instagram account, she is obsessed with him, all pics with him. He has a beard, just like Aaron Taylor. :(
I mentioned it elsewhere but i see nothing wrong with flings and things of that nature with a giant age gap. If Everyones on the same page.. Have a blast. Its when these grown men/women essentially groom these teens into the perfect spouse that makes me sick.
@@yaz6589 exactly. There is a hugggee difference between fresh out of highschool vs paying ur own way in the world. Even if ur still living at home at 20 uve developed massively in the 2 yrs of actual adulthood.
I've been following this mans career for many years, i remember vividly them saying that because Aaron had had addiction issues, he didn't like "women his age" and Sam said something along the lines of "he's very mature for his age and that's what i like about him"
I've aways hated the "welp this person just turned 18 or is 19-20 years in age, it's fine if they date someone 10 years older than them" justification.
@@Choomsy imo 10 years isn’t fine if one of the people is barely legal. 18-20 year olds dating older people shouldn’t be normalised on the basis that they’re “legal adults”, it’s creepy either way
@@SS-yl5wo i would push it to 23 tbh... at least be at the age where you're supposed be done with post-secondary school or something. i don't see why anyone in their 30's would want to be with someone in the student demographic... 20 & 23 is no different in life stages.
The amount of people I’ve had to fight with in the marvel fandom bc they cannot wrap their heads around Aaron and S*ms relationship, is embarrassing. Thank you for making a vid on this!
Personally, what rubbed me the wrong way when Nowhere boy came out and everybody was talking about their relationship and how good the film was, was Sam’s decision as the director to include sexual tension between John Lennon and his strange mother... in context it make everything even creepier
Actually, there is this story in John's biography that says he used to think about his mother like that (yes, creepy, I know). Maybe it came from this story. But still, John's thing is creepy and what Sam did to Taylor is very bad.
@@larissapaixao3687 yeah but the guy who wrote that passage in his also wrote some fucked stuff that just isn’t true about John Lennon so again, take it all with a pinch of salt ig. The author was pretty messed in a lot of ways lol
Wow, I’d never thought of it that way. And it is extra creepy like she was planting the idea in his head. Even though she didn’t completely make it up - there’s biographies that mention it. She made a creative decision to make it part of the movie. She could have just as easily not had it in their.
I didn't want to be someone who addressed various comments, but there are some things that are now eating at me, so here we go.
1. I did not realize when I was editing that the airhorn would be a trigger for people, and I do apologize, and I will refrain from those edits in the future.
2. The comment about "a meme of a black woman" was more meant to be a jab at digital blackface, but I've since realized that I shouldn't have tried to comment on it in such a callous and non-nuanced way, and I do also apologize for that.
3. The "hormones, am I right, ladies?" line was not in any way meant to say that women are more hormonal than men. I was simply thinking of the "am i right, ladies?" meme, and I didn't mean it at all literally. Though I now see how it can be misinterpreted.
I knew exactly what you meant about the memes. But I could see how someone who didn't would get to those conclusions.
You do you. Can’t please everyone. Thank you for the explanation though ✅
Maybe you want to pin that comment.
I'm guessing you watched Hasan Piker reacting to your video lol
Do a video on Caroline Flack, deceased British star. I really had a problem with her behaviour too.
The more I approach 30, the more I realize that 18-year olds are still children
I just turned 26 and the thought of dating a 18 yo boy seems...gross.
I'm 31 and I feel old AF whenever (edit) I see some family-friends I haven't seen for a decade who are now 20 years old. 😳
30 now. I had 18 yr old friends, because I went back to college, who are around 20 now. I admire them because some of them are hella skilled. But, there's a real gen gap.
It's true that they're technically adults but, once you hear what they're talking about, I don't understand them anymore. Same as I don't understand the literal kids I vaguely interact with.
So an 18 yr old and an 11 yr old are both kids to me. And relationship wise, would not touch. Very weird.
Yup. I’m 28 and though I have a bunch of younger friends, they really look and act like babies to me. I can’t fathom how other people my age or older don’t see them that way.
I'm 23, just finished my first year of graduate school, and I would never even think about dating someone who was still in college. Seriously. The difference in mindset between those two life stages can be that huge.
I'm just gonna say it: getting pregnant so soon after the beginning of their relationship feels like baby-trapping.
Honestly so many people have kids at a young age but little do they know they're sacrificing the experience of youth for something that they are obviously not ready for
I think the same. He was young and naive and she was 42+ and already had 2 kids from her previous marriage. She knew exactly what she was doing.
@@W4TSKY I think we can all agree that Sam fits into the category with Kevin Spacey and Harvey Weinstein
In this situation, it does feel like that. Not every quick pregnancy after the beginning of a relationship is like that, but yeah.
@@W4TSKY its gross because we need to hold these people accountable whether they are women or men.
"Sam Taylor Johnson is not a girl boss, she's an abuser. Access to children should not be a reward for breaking your own glass ceiling."
Wow that was very profound to me. Great job on this video.
That comment really hit me too! We shouldn't support abuse of power in the guise of feminism. So grateful for this take!
I heard it is so funny P.O. opinion o up the two
I agree. More people should talk about this and our brother here used his platform and also well researched video to call out grooming double standards.
Exactly perfectly worded
The idea that an 18 year old is old enough to vote and to and to live on their own but not old enough to make their own sexual decisions is a perfect illustration of Susan Sontag's point that sex has always been a "special case" in our culture as a consequence of Christianity. Wanting to control the body and personal life of someone you acknowledge to be an adult old enough to vote is super creepy and predatory, you are the real predator here. Incidentally, the argument here is exactly what the alt-right say about Alan Turing having sex with a 19 year old so you're in good company there
The fact that he’s also been refusing acting jobs unless Sam is involved w it somehow is just very very weird to me.
Oh that is.....*yikes*
When has he done that? He made Tenet last year, she had nothing to do with that.
@@a.madison9625 the people in this comment section and the guy who made the video are trying to project abuse onto one of the most enduring industry relationships. The two of them have both done numerous films without the other, Aaron was starring in a movie directed by Oliver Stone (Savages) with Blake Lively, he did Anna Karenina with Keira Knightly and Godzilla and many more. His family, friends and industry colleagues would have noticed had there been irregularities, I’m sure. He’s a smart, well-spoken and knowledgeable chap, I think it’s demeaning and extremely patronizing, invading their privacy and slandering them based on nothing but observations from bored Americans. The culture around sexuality in the USA is broken and everybody gets called a predator and sex offender for the slightest inappropriate situation or remark, while the real criminals move in the highest places for decades and nobody says anything. Find a hobby and a fulfilling relationship and stop spreading lies about alleged crimes that from a legal perspective weren’t any bc he was 18 and he’s English. People learn something in school in the UK and what it means to take responsibility for our choices. Try it sometime in the US
@@MFRUclips683 I agree. I've seen several of his interviews and he seems devoted to his wife and kids. You never hear about him out in bars or cheating or doing most of the things so many young actors do. If they break up tomorrow, it's still their business and acting like he didn't know what he wanted is total speculation. No one cares about older men and younger women. Look at Michael Douglas and Catherine Zeta Jones or David Foster and Katherine McFee. He's old enough to be her grandfather but as long as they're both happy, it's their business.
@@a.madison9625 I honestly think it‘s a really bad sign of what is about to come if you look at how fast internet culture changed into a mob going after a married couple like this, especially Sam, there is no decency, no respect and the toxicity and viciousness ... 🤮 I think we need more human to human interaction and less virtual communication to solve this. Because it‘s not working,
so Finn Wolfhard was on Game Grumps and litterally had to ask people to stop calling him 'Daddy'...a 14 year old boy should not have to ask that.
He's 18. But why would anyone call him daddy?
I also heard that He cried too.
If this was recent, then Finn just turned 18 but it's still creepy for people to call him "daddy" when he just became a grown up.
@@timmy841212 nah this was in 2016 not long after season 2 I think.
@@billyandrew11 Yeah I checked. Ew creepy!!!
This reminds me of when Emma Watson turned 16 (the age of consent here in the UK), there was a national newspaper that ran a big picture of her on the front page with the headline "She's legal now, boys!".
Creepy as f**k.
@@donttalktomeyoureannoying8736 you’re acting as if underage black girls don’t have to combat adultification... we have so much ish to fight as underage girls, let’s not romanticise creepy behaviour
@@donttalktomeyoureannoying8736 what happened during that time
@@donttalktomeyoureannoying8736 typical hater
@@donttalktomeyoureannoying8736 THAT'S the only disturbing part??
@@donttalktomeyoureannoying8736 Hi, Latina here,
Shut up.
Thanks, thats all!
Bye🥰🥰
As a feminist, I HATE the double standard. I bring it up all the time. Esp the teacher thing. It's always men in the comments of articles saying they wish it happened to them, which is so weird.
Its true though. Men are a lot hornier in general.
@@liberalsocialist9723 that's a fact, is it?
@@jeremyjub9147 Yes. And I say this as a leftist. For better or worst it is just how most of us think. And I mean men.
Jesus christ who cares? If they want an older woman let them. Age gap relationships aren't wrong, people just love to b*tch nowadays about everything.
@@Sapphire1982 you chose my comment on teacher ped0s to write that.... Let ped0 teachers do their thing.......... Ew.
I watched Angus, Thongs, and Perfect Snogging when i was 12/13 and my friend asked me to look up Aaron and see if he was in anything else and it came up that he was engaged to her and I clicked on her bio and it explained how old she was and I still remember messaging my friend about how creeped out I was. Y’all I was a literal child realizing how weird it was and she’s gonna pretend it’s not inappropriate?
Me too, I was like 14 when I watched that movie and I was horrified when I realized Aaron was engaged to that woman, who could actually be his mother! wtf
That literally happened to me! After I watched that movie I googled the cast and was weirded out when I saw he was dating a woman so old
Same here! I thought it was really weird even at a young age as well and doubly weird that no one was really batting an eye at it. I’m glad that this is being discussed more often now because of how predatory it is.
wow same. i always thought this relationship was bizarre.
@@MademoiselleGisela same thing happened to me and i mistakenly thought she was his mother until i read more lmao
I'm a 26 high school teacher and I'm used to having students crushing on me, so this topic hits home. I hate how the media portrays and normalizes these inappropiate and grooming-based relationships. This is just extremely sick and wrong. I know some young people look older and mature BUT THEY ARE STILL CHILDREN and it's your responsability as an adult to clear things up.
This is why Mary Kay Latourneu (?) Bothered me. She always pointed out that he pursued her! Who cares? She was the adult at all times.
Exactly.
I bet about half of male teachers became teachers because they’re pedos
@@cbo9090 see that generalizes a lot of male teacher or college students pursuing teaching degrees. A guy in my class wants to become a teacher because his old english teacher really changed his life and he kinda wants to help young people too. He said that it'll never happen cuz he knows male teachers are stigmatized like that. It's a hurtful thing to say. And pedophilia isn't only done by male teachers, there's lots of female teachers that are disgusting like that too.
Students have a crush on you lol
“Sam taylor johnson is not a girl boss, she’s an abuser.” SAY IT LOUDER FOR THE PEOPLE IN THE BACKKKKK
She’s not even a girl anymore lol
He pursued her right?
Why people use the term girl boss ??? Are pnt just woman who are bosses, a boss ?
@@cwp4eva she was in a position of POWER over him. She had control over the situation entirely. She should’ve turned his PROPOSAL DOWN.
@@LobotomyLadies so at 18 people feel you have the right to fight and potentially die in war but not the right to choose who you wanna date?
Yes, he is very attractive but also very emotionally vulnerable. He suffers from severe social anxiety, she took advantage of this fact and took over his life AND his career. People never mention this. I don't think he is going to leave her because she makes him feel safe.
That's disgusting🤮🤮🤮
That's exactly my point. It's just too late. If he had the time to work through his issues before he met her probably he still stood a chance of being a healthy person.
Sam 100% is the reason why Aaron has not returned to the MCU
That's his choice to make. Not anyone else's. If she makes him feel happy and secure, that's all that matters. Not anyone's happiness outside of the relationship.
@@briantrinh5549 are you dumb?
I’m 23 and I can’t even bring myself to find 18 year olds attractive, so why tf are 40+ year old adults going after 18-19 year old kids? Just because they’re “legal” doesn’t mean it’s morally right, they’re legal for themselves, not for adults to sexualise and approach them. This shit should be illegal
Because they find them attractive. Everyone's brain is wired differently.
I find it weird - and yes, actually dangerous; everybody can ask me about it, I'm happy to explain - how people in the US infanitlise very, very young adults and act as if even people who've not been minor for close to two years are still "basically children" . No-one's saying that anyone's able or should be able to go from 17-year-old little child who knows nothing about anything to fully-grown and super mature 18-year-old adult. In other places in this world, people are prepared for adulthood *until* they turn 18 (or whatever the local age for adulthood is), while in the US, both how many things work (asking for permission to go to the bathroom in high school, parents being allowed to suspend their driving licence and working 16-year-olds not being allowed to have their own bank accounts, apparently, what the actual fuck ...) as well as the attitude of *some* people goes way too much into the direction of treating 17-year-olds the same as 9-year-olds, meaning that many people in the US aren't prepared for adulthood at age 18. Or at least way less than, say, a just barely 18-year-old in Germany.
If it were up to many people in the US, people would come of age when they're 25. Which is ridiculous.
@@liberalsocialist9723 lol thanks cpt obvious
@@billycostigan1247 cpt?
@@camelopardalis84 I am in favor of making everything legal at 16, reason be is so we can start teaching teens in high-school similar to Norway.
Also she directed Fifty Shades of Grey, where the main character was abused by his mom's 50-year old friend when he was a teenager, still talks to her and doesn't see anything wrong with it. Wtf
yes and anna was more jealous about the possibility of a affair with an old relationship than you know, the older woman being a rapist
@@fabianarodrigues3834 - They are also fictional characters clearly sexualised by the author. considering 50 shades was twilight fanfic (twilight has a whole slew of questionable things but regardless EL James still made it sexualised to the point of kinks becoming involved); it's like EL James doesn't see the issue with older women (in the form of Christian's ex) taking advantage of a younger man (or boy if you'd prefer). Take it out on EL James, take it out on Sam Taylor-Johnson who also doesn't see this as an issue. Fictional charters don't really matter.
there are men (okay guys) who find that kind of thing cool because you've slept with an older woman and maybe instead of hating or something they feel proud. it's super gross
pretty sure sam wanted aaron to play the role of christian grey as well...
@@novatalking Works of fiction absolutely have an affect on real life and quite often mirrors the values and beliefs of the author's culture. Sorry but your fave is problematic, gtfoi
I don't know how a 42 year old woman found a 17/18 year old boy attractive.
I'm twenty eight years old and college kids look to me like fetuses they also lack emotional maturity and life experience.
What can an adult talk or find on common with a teenager?!?!
And what can you expect from a 18 year old child in a relationship ?!?!
I can't even begin to understand the attraction to someone that just a couple of years ago was going through puberty.
I am younger than Sam and even I couldn't imagine finding him in the least enticing when he was in those earlier films. I remember when Nowhere boy came out and he looked like a kid (because he was) and even IF I can find young men very pretty at times, it is more in the 'Awwww, he is going to be a heartbreaker with that smile, eyes, hair' then thinking he is in any way an attractive prospect for my old self! I mean, OMG, what WAS she thinking?
Exactly, I’m 23 and a teacher so socializing with teenagers is part of my job, I can’t even imagine the attraction for barely legal children even though there are some very matured teens with very different types of living perspectives not like others but still they’re lacking life experience and don’t develop pretty much their personality or rational life decisions. 40 something people in relationship with teenagers basically like parent-children relationship but more intimate and that’s completely disturbing.
Saaame! I see someone who's 20 and I'm like, "Aww they've got their whole life ahead them. Be safe out there kids!" And I'm only 28 but being in your late teens or even 20/21 is a different world compared to being 28, let alone in your 40s and that's on life experience.
Edit: Typos
Exactly. I saw Aaron in Angus, Thongs, & Snogging and he looked so young. He was only two years younger than me and I saw him as a kid. Now in my 30s, gen z look like children to me. I could never find them, attractive.
Totally true
"sexual assault is not about sex, it's about power." even though it's obvious, i've surprisingly never seen someone summarise it so well before
A woman whose name I unfortunately can't remember came to my college to talk to us about sexual assault. The memorable phrase she used was that saying sexual assault is about sex is like beating someone with a frying pan and then claiming you were cooking.
Yeah, it’s great bite-sized statement that says a lot, isn’t it? :) It’s not new though, it’s been a staple of feminist theory for a good while.
The phrase is the most common used when discussing sexual assault, so it's not as if the vlogger said anything differently.
Wow, I’ve been given this message endlessly since the 90s, just goes to show how much more work we have to do to spread the wisdom. When people don’t understand it is about power, too many think it is about sex which makes it easy to blame the victim for their dress, behavior etc. while ignoring victims in nursing homes and other situations where the victim isn’t typically considered “sexy enough” to be assaulted
I watch a lot of law & order SVU and they say it a lot on there which is great. I’m glad they keep reiterating that. It’s weird how it seems so many people don’t get that still
I don’t understand how a grown adult in their 40s could have a normal relationship with someone who is barely out of high school. You are just a child then and have limited life experience. I’m 35 and I can’t imagine my partner being a teenager. Very predatory. I think people often miss that older women prey on younger guys too.
I'm 16 now and I do not see the idea of being with someone way older than me normal, Megan Fox was 17 when she met her ex husband Brian Austin Green and he was 30, Heath Ledger was 18 when he went out with Lisa Zane and she was 36
Not everybody has to be like you. As long as the relationship is consensual (and legal, both of them above 18), what's the problem then? It's a personal decision and I think we have to respect that.
@@avatarwalterwhite6776 Because that's seek Chad. It's a predatory behaviour. Grow up.
@@bibi-we4lg goodbye, weirdo
@@bibi-we4lg can you just leave me alone?
I really hope Aaron wakes up one day and realizes what she did to him.
Basically what I'm hoping Florence Pugh does too. Wakes up and realizes her creepy relationship with Zach Braff.
He will
I Highly doubt that.... Aaron didn't particularly had a great childhood or so I've heard. He had issues and he probably still has and he is highly dependent on Sam for approval (which however toxic is too late to get corrected) I don't think he will ever be able to get over Sam... The damage is done... And as much as it sucks he better stick with her cause he is not healthy at all and he needs Sam's guidance to navigate through life however pathetic that may sound. I think if sam didn't encouraged his attraction towards herself in his adolescent days... he probably did stand a chance but now it's pretty impossible. He is codependent as fuck.
@@GamingAnimator1 Florence Pug is a grown woman and decided to be with an older man. What is the idea? Stop Child Abuse or Eliminate Age Gap Relationships? Just because you don't like the relationship doesn't mean it's wrong.
@@liol3409 would you be ok with your 20 something year old daughter bringing home a 40 year old? Especially if they were close to your own age? I don't think so.
I think it's important to clear up the fact that teenagers being atrackted to adults is normal. Everyone has had a crush on an older teacher or a movie star. The thing that's not normal is for the adult to reciprocate. Most times I've heard this conversation come up it was with a degree of victim blaming, so congrats on talking about the role of the groomer as the problem and the one to blame.
Exactly !!!!! We are not old enought to understand that the DECENT ADULTS will not accept you, cuz they literally see you as kids, and only a perv will take advantage of that dinamic
I had a crush on Eddie Vedder as a teen when grunge came out, would I have dated him? No because he was way older than me. But now at 40 I wouldn't dream of dating someone who was 18, 19, or even in their 20's. Pretty much all the guys I find attractive are closer to my age (usually late 30's or early 40's). When Twilight came out and people were sexualizing that kid who played Jacob, that was pretty disturbing. I couldn't believe grown women were acting like that.
I'm 13 and I have a crush on my history teacher. If he makes a move on me will I feel safe though ? Not at all, I will feel rightfully violated because it's common sense that adults doing that isn't something morally correct !
You aren’t wrong! However I’ve noticed a shift happening on tik tok though that might change this current generations way of thinking towards an older person. That being, millennials vs gen z. Soooo many gen z think for example, 24 is getting long in the tooth and is “too old” to be doing trends or using a tik tok. If this rhetoric continues, older people won’t be seen as cool or more established, they are just old, until one day the gen z finds themselves old as well and at that point they will be safe from the child predators.
As a teenager I had many older grooming men chasing me. I was 15 and a 30 year old man persuited me among other cases. Luckily I was wise enough to reject these men. Now I am 40 and it has happened that a younger teen boy (around 18) made "a move" on me a couple of times. Again: I kindly rejected the boys. I could be their mother! We are in total different life stages. No match at all!
The fact that all of his children including step-children are all closer to his age than he is to his groomer wife is another unsettling thing of their relationship. I’ve never rooted for someone’s divorce so bad but even if he does come to the realization that he is indeed a victim of grooming, he’ll never get back the years she took away from him. If he does reach the point of realization I can see recovery being tough all things considered but I hope someday he does understand that he’s been a victim from the get go.
Yikes. Imagine being grounded by your step-dad who is only a couple of yesrs older than you.
I thought we were all supposed to ignore the surface and fall in love with the inner person nowadays.
@@jackiec6636 fuck off!
I don't think their age difference is a problem, it's more about the fact that he was basically a child when they began dating. If two responsible ADULTS fall in love, then age shouldn't matter. The problem is his age and the power dynamics when their relationship began.
oh shutup. He was of age so get over it.
I was 17 with a 24 year old. He got me pregnant at 17. By the time I hit 24 I would never ever think about being with a 17 year old CHILD. Let alone get pregnant by one. It makes me sad. I truly think of him different the older I get. He has never ever ever seen it as a problem. He says 24 for a man is the same as 17 for a girl they mature faster. Wtf.
Your feelings and experiences are valid and you deserve to heal in the way that is best for you.
I truly hate that comment how 'girls mature faster than boys'. I was seeing a 24 year old when I was 16, not as intense it seems as your situation, but everyone would tell me I always needed an 'older' man because I was 'mature for my age' no, I was a child. I'm sorry about your experience, I hope you're able to heal x
I'm so sorry :(
@@purplehood8418 no shit.
@@nyamheriaWhy are you being rude?
aside from aaron, imagine how horrified his kids will be when they realize their mom groomed their dad when he was a teenager. and they're probably already realizing that its not normal for their mother to be around the same age as their friends' grandparents and their half siblings are very close to their dad's age. i genuinely hope they're okay and have a lot of support.
i thought that omg
Um. The French President's wife and her children
@@massalleh5255 ehh, I wouldn't exactly say that Emmanuel Macron and his wife are proof that this is normal😅 gotta remember his wife was his teacher when he was 15, and 2 of his stepchildren are *older* than him. His situation is not normal😬
@@peachysandie Never say it is normal. Just saying that the children is not always shocked by their parents antics 😀
@@peachysandie Oh how about the children of Soon Yin and Woody Allen. I bet some people can't sleep at night assuming how their children are gonna think about how their parents met 😬
“Access to children isn’t a reward for breaking your own glass ceiling.”
Amen to that.
It is in Hollywood
@@amypieterse3706 Yeah Hollywood has a problem with this but this esentially happens everywhere. In churches, in government, in schools, in jobs. I think every place I've worked men and women in positions of power have spoken inappropriately to 18y/os and sometimes younger and nothing is done about it because people are afraid to jeopardize their jobs. I myself have been fired after calling out one of my 40y/o managers for the inappropriate dynamic he had with the girls there. I never liked the guy from the start though, I could always tell he was fake and manipulative. The incompetence of management ultimately drove out the hard workers and honest people and only dishonest people remained after I left.
@@Jesse-um1pz Hollywood is the worst since most people are okay with it happening in the name of entertainment and art, plus it's publicly advertised as parents fight and claw to line up their children for auditions by pedos. Government, schools, and general jobs get called out but Hollyweird gets supported.
@@WhatAboutall has happened and been protected in governments, and schools, but especially churches, I would actually agrue that churches are the worst defenders of pedophiles.
@@Jesse-um1pz The same critics of churches line their kids up to be molested in Hollywood. Not to mention the parents who allow their kids to consume it. Same people who still have Netflix after Cuties.
Thank you so much for talking about this. It drives me insane to listen men talk about being sexually abused by their babysitters and teachers like it's a badge of honor. And growing up watching older women defend Sam Taylor made me sick. They'd always use the "if older men can do it why can't she?" excuse...like everyone should have the equal opportunity to be a f*cking predator!? That woman is vile and it triggers me to see their relationship and other similar relationships so normalized because I almost ended up just like Aaron so many times in my life. And the things he has said in defense of his relationship are chilling because they are exactly the types of things predators used to say to me.
💜💜💜 I’m sorry you’ve had to go through that
💗
Omg yes! It’s so messed up!
Firstly, I’m sorry for what happened to you.
In the case of Sam and Aaron, I’ve learned a lot from this comment section. Their relationship is not something I really researched and I did assume that they were adults when they met. My dad is 17 years older than my stepmom and they met in her early 20s and married by the time she was 24. My stepsister and I were both 8 at the time. They appear to have a very normal, healthy relationship, which in my mind is why the age gap was not an issue. However, I feel the age they met is probably the biggest factor, they were both adults.
So my point is that most people probably aren’t aware of that she has known him since his childhood or that he had a rough start which made him vulnerable to predators (in addition to the inherent vulnerability of children).
I’m so sorry you had to go through that 🧡
i feel like another good example of not believing male victims of sexual abuse is Brendan Fraser :(
He deserves healing! I hope he is well and focused on his wellness.
Brendan Fraser deserves justice.
What happened to Brendan Fraser??? ☹️☹️☹️
@@giareneeble Sexually assaulted by Philip Berk who was a former president of Hollywood foreign press association in 2003.
@@giareneeble TW: sexual assault
He was assaulted on a movie set years ago and it gave him a lot of trauma. This was before #MeToo. I think he’s doing bette though.
I still can’t get over how Scott Disick can get away with dating teenage girls it’s revolting. Those women will need therapy later
Yep. Older man and younger woman relationships are so normalized and defended. Sickening that people call it out if it happens the other way around but often don't with younger women.
🤢
I mean it could be worth noting his first proper relationship was with kourtney kardashian and was a similar setup but with him being the impressionable one? Not saying it's okay, just that he was normalised into it?
@@Dauerglotzer123 nah not really, they’re just 4 years apart compare to what Scott is doing now which is faaaaaaar more serious and just weirdly strange than what him and Kourtney did! Scott was 21 or 22 when he met Kourtney who was 24 or 25 at the time
I dont see an issue with casual dating when ones in their later yrs and the others young. Everyones having fun... Its when a youth is completely robbed by a grown man/woman grooming them into their perfect spouse that hits me wrong.
I was thinking about Liz Gillies and her husband, they started to date when she was 16, and he was like 37? He knows her since she was a kid because he's friend with her parents
Ikr, she seems like a sweetheart, and then this. Ew. Edit: I mean with that I am sorry that this happened to her, I don't want to belittle or hurt anyone here. English ain't my first language.
@@corinnae.7877 are you implying she isn't a sweetheart because she was groomed?? I'm not sure what your comment means
@@takeachillpill41 i think they meant, they feel bad for her i guess
@@takeachillpill41 Omg, omg, no no no! I just didn't write it right. I mean it's sad that she was groomed. I don't victim blame here.
@@corinnae.7877 Totally okay! You English is great btw I just was a little confused
"Access to children should not be a reward for breaking your own glass ceiling."
THAT. PART.
The part about one of Sam’s children from her past marriage being only 6 years younger then him really hit me. That she’s essentially old enough to be his mother. That he was six when his now wife was having her first child??? That’s just bizarre and more than unsettling.
this issue is so normalized, it's truly gross. President Macron's wife, Brigitte, was literally his teacher (he was 15) when they met and she was 40!!! But nobody talks about how sickening it is
this was the comment I was looking for. SO CRAZY!!! And it is painted as a romantic love story...disgusting. Macron was in high school and in the same class as Brigitte's daughter, who were both 15.
Even worse: She started grooming and dating him while she was still married. She couldn't even be honest to her ex-husband and her daughters before she was sure that she had trapped him. Typical move of a manipulating narc!
I've read an article about their relationship before and thought it's weird since she was his teacher. That's so inappropriate.
!!! my parents were so weirded out when he was elected (non french ppl but still) it was incredibly odd to my family but no one elses ?!?!
and the fact that media show their relationships as a beautiful love story under the slogan «age is just a number» disturbs the hell out of me
I feel like beyonce was also groomed, I mean she said that jay z started dating her at 19 but they were working together since she was 17 and he was 30 which is worrisome. ( and the fact that she said that she wasn't really into dating him, but her mother thought they would be a good pair is also weird)
It's also scary that she forgave him for cheating on her so many times with so many people.
Also I love your content 💛
i always thought about those two. So many relationships like that i weirdhollywood
@@user-nv3sh5jh3p Yeah, I know. I have found myself in those situations multiple times. The thing is Hollywood promotes it and makes it seem like it's no big deal.
How about Elvis Presley and Priscilla?
I’ve been saying this a lot recently. And think about his social position at the time they started dating. He was one of the biggest names in rap and she was so so young. There was a clear power dynamic from the start but we overlook it bc it’s them. It just doesn’t sit well with me
Pretty sure her dad has something to do with that- I think we'd all be surprised how many parents sell their kids to "relationships"
I'm scared for Millie Bobbie Brown once she turns 18. I've been scared for her for awhile. I think they are just waiting for her.
If I were her I would be so uncomfortable 😣
@@popoffpeppar I'm already so uncomfortable for her
Her parents are doing an amazing job at overexposing her and allowing access to her. If I was her mother, Drake would have been rolling on the river after the first message.
Rumor has it she's dating H*nry Cavill, not to be pessimistic but I think she's already been groomed , that's what Hollywood does with child stars
@@feermartsant noo, he doesn't date Millie. He dates Natalie Viscuso.
Also, when r we going to talk about Leonardo Dicaprio? Homeboy doesn't date anyone older than 20 👀
*older
@@Harry-ts2qo lol thnx, mixed up my grammar 😂
Yeah, I agree. He DEF is grooming certain young women/girls. He's disgusting to me.
yep. its common and nastay
But they are still adult..this boy was a teenager not adult
You got me with
“Sam taylor johnson is not a girl boss, she’s an abuser.", so I'm subbing
Same
Yeah she is and I have no idea why people couldn’t see that!! She was hunting him since he was a teen wtf!
The idea that an 18 year old is old enough to vote and to and to live on their own but not old enough to make their own sexual decisions is a perfect illustration of Susan Sontag's point that sex has always been a "special case" in our culture as a consequence of Christianity. Wanting to control the body and personal life of someone you presumably acknowledge to be an adult old enough to vote is super creepy and predatory, you are the real predator here
@@albertdicey894 no, as the video creator clearly stated, multiple times throughout the video, age is just a surface level objection. Age gap relationships are okay but usually it goes hand in hand with a skewed power balance which is what the creator emphasized on. The power dynamic between a young actor (19) and a much older director (42) can never be equal. Sex is just one thing but in this case Aaron changed the course of his life for Sam, happily- hence the word grooming.
She didn't abuse anyone
A lot of people are saying this, but it feels so icky to even CONSIDER dating someone that young, even at a smaller age gap and without the power dynamics being part of it. I'm 24 and still feel like 18/19 year olds are very different socially, and are definitely not considered a romantic option.
Actually lots of women and young women LIKE power in men, considering how many women don't date beta males, and even the ones that Preach against grooming admit it. The issue is: how are men SUPPOSED to handle the power, if women still actually want it? Like, 18 is an age old enough to consent to sex.
@@antithoughtpolice7497 as soon as you said beta males, I got scared
same, im 23 and honestly i dont look for someone that young like i barely know people who are 18/19 bc to me they are too young and we are in different places and stage of life even if the age gap isnt that big
@@mmmmyeah1849 Uhhh, why? I'm a woman, trust me... Women don't like them unless they're a dominatrix, trust me.
@@antithoughtpolice7497 why are you talking absolute shite
like 6 months ago, my brother-in-law was telling, like a heroic story, that he had his first sexual encounter with a 27-year-old woman when he was like 13. He told us, my sister and I, that she was his mother's friend and when he told her, to his mom, she said nothing and gave him a shot of a drink, like a prize. That scared me a lot because that's the man raising my nephew and he said he would do the same...we, my sister and I, told him he was a victim of sexual abuse and parents neglecting...he denied it at first but as we were speaking to him, he realized we were right. We have to include boys and grooming in the conversations about sexual abuse, and not treat those events like achievements. Boys have vulnerabilities too and toxic masculinity only sums up impunity to it.
100 percent I have so many guy friends who lost their virginity with older women who seduced them or confused them into the act. So sad,one I would describe as literal rape I hate that women can get away with this. I would hate for any of my future children to experience this. It's worrisome.
@@Happygirlalwaysnomatter how did those guys end up in those situations? Were the women friends with their moms?
Edit: how old were the guys btw
That's such a worrying story. Impressive that you all made him see it for what it was. It can't have been easy. I recently had a similar thing with a friend of mine. He got really upset though, super angry, when we suggested it sounded not like a cool story, but like him getting assaulted by his older teacher when he was just 17. Do you have any advice on how to open up a conversation like that without them getting angry?
@@LorenSnel I don't have a way nor an answer, sorry. The thing is, we have dense toxic masculinity patterns that are really hard to break. It is too hard to convince someone about their victim status when they are fed as winners because of female conquer, no matter under what terms. Also, the system has created several spaces for women to open up to their abuse stories, but not for men. That's the thing, they don't want to admit it happens to them too. My brother-in-law had that moment with us, but he is not open to talking about it after that occasion. It depends on several factors and it is different for everyone. Maybe you could show other similar stories to your friend and create a welcoming safe environment for him to open up about it, and not be surrounded by others, in order for him not to feel judged. Thank you for sharing and for being an advocate of male rights too.
His own mother approving that... it's a huge act of treason, parents are supposed to protect
Jay-Z and Beyoncè were actually 31 and 19 when they started dating but were “friends first”…sounds like another case of grooming to me smh. What a sad little world we live in.
Even if Aaron first initiated the relationship, Sam as the adult, the one in power, has the responsibility to stop the relationship from furthering into a this territory. Also, seeing how fast they relationship proceeded after the movie came out, I find it how to believe Aaron proposed without even kissing her, at the very least. That is a major red flag on its own. And there is an argument to be made about why Aaron felt like he could propose, Sam would have been engaging with Aaron’s feelings and encouraging them
She probably didn’t have to try so hard to get his attention since I get how a teenager or young adult can be attracted to someone much older. We’ve all (or not idk) have had crushes on teachers, etc. But yeah. She shouldn’t have let him indulge in his feelings. and neither SHOULD SHE have been indulging in whatever sick feelings she had. And wasn’t it months or a month after they got married that she got pregnant?? Sam really hunkered him down that fast. Scared he was gonna run or something 😒
@@BoraLinda it was a month into thei ENGAGEMENT that she got pregnant, they had two kids together before the even finalized their marriage, which i agree, seems like she was trying to “trap” him into staying in the relationship
@@gracebutsko5050 ENGAGEMENT 😱😱😱😱😱😱 well shit.
The age of consent in the UK is 16, so is the legal age of marriage. This is a non-issue.
@@maxisussex “non-issue”
the fact that when they met (2008) , on the set of nowhere boy, Sam's eldest daughter was also on the cast, playing aaron's little sister and had to watch her married mother have a thing with a 17 going on 18 year old boy makes me sick. I do believe that he is in love with her, but she manipulated him into falling for her. isn't it weird the fact that a 19 year old wants to have a child ASAP when he was supposed to have the greatest time of his life? and she doesnt put into her mind that its not ok to take someone's entire youth just to make her wishes come true!!!! and then she puts into both of their minds that she is the hero and we are the villains (the ones trying to protect aaron) like wtf-
I'm literally gonna vomit
This is just one thing I'm gonna point out- yes, all of this is correct. The situation is weird and wrong, but wanting to have kids at an early age isn't that weird unless the situation itself is weird, does that make sense? Just wanted to say that everyone is different, some may want to have kids right out the gate, some may want to have kids in their late 20s/early 30s, some may never want to have kids! Have a wonderful day :)
@@Jellybellyjellybean well yes and thank you for your explanation. I’m sorry, it’s because everyone that I know normally o my wants to have kids when they are either over 25 or 30, but thank you anyways :)
@@julianaman4255 totally get it, most of the people I know personally are married and have a kid but 23-25, I understand how easy it is to automatically assume the rest of the world is like your surroundings
Being so young and watching your mother have a thing with an underage kid is sickening. I can't
"Most known for directing Fifty shades of grey" *shows twilight* GENIUS
THIS I had myself a little cackle
Because you know it was a ff for twilight
@@bhavya.d1897 yeah, that's why i said it was genius, a witty move haha
I laughed so hard.
the fact she directed the movie where they address a boy is was being groomed by an older lady when he was a teen is so ironic and she still doesn't see what she did was wrong
I found the relationship between John Lennon and his mother in 'Nowhere Boy' to be portrayed as weirdly sexual which just confirmed for me that Sam Taylor-Johnson was creepy
Maybe you too are creepy if you’re thinking like that.
@@benswindlehurst1857 no she’s totally right. I’m one of the biggest Beatles fans ever but could not watch that movie because the few scenes I had seen made me so uncomfortable. The one of him in the garden with her before she died made me wonder if he had somehow been sexually abused by an older woman before he called her “mum” and I realized who she was. Very gross implications, this woman (commenter) is totally right
I started watching this film and it really unsettled me because of the way they portrayed the relationship between John and his mum, i basically had to stop watching the film i was so creeped out
@@lucybp493 I did too! I couldn’t watch it.
Plus. I mean Aaron looks 12!!!! Mature or not he was a boy! A lonely boy ! Who was over his head with flattery by an older experience woman. Who before he know became a dad at 19. Its soooo grown in soomnay levels!!
When your read interviews from them you see all the red flags… she says he is an “old soul”, that he never liked to act as a young person, like partying (well he never had the chance to see if he liked it). She also mentioned how he prefers to stay home being a Dad and refuses many jobs and prefers her to work. Because working means that he gets to be away from her… she convinced him of all of these things. Not for a second I believe that he came to this “preferences” on his own. It’s such an obvious case of a toxic / abusive relationship.
Soo many red flags it’s sad asf his whole teenage experience gone she probably started as soon as he became 15-16
He probably has some unadressed mommy/parental issues. There are people who are like this from a very young age but since this behaviour is not typical, they usually have some underlying psychological issues, minor or major.
It’s so sad that he’s wasted opportunities to find out what he really wants to do, or enjoy his youth because of her
That’s so sad
People say that about women all the time too.... "mature for her age" and all that bullshit to justify grooming a barely legal woman.
I agree with this video so much but you said he had only had minor roles before he met Sam. That isn't really accurate as he had a leading role in Angus, Thongs & Perfect Snogging before Nowhere boy. In the UK he was already a household name for teens at the time. Something I noticed when I watched a behind the scene's from that movie is he is being constantly complimented by the Director, Gurinder Chadha, a woman in her 40s at the time who made comments about how he was "drop dead gorgeous" and "so hot" (the video is still up on RUclips) so even before he met Sam, he had encountered an older woman director in a position of power being completely inappropriate with him when he was only 17. I'm not sure if this first experience lead him to believe that it was appropriate for these women to act like this to him so he was more open to Sam's advances but I truly think there is something deeper to all of this. While some men have preyed on young people through history openly, maybe some women have privately too and should 100% be called out for it.
Oh wow, this was an oversight of mine. Thank you for adding this!!!
Do you know the title of that video?
@@assholebyginger "Angus, Thongs, and Perfect Snogging - Behind the Scenes" It's about midway through where she starts talking with Aaron
But most child stars disappear. When is the last time you saw a movie with Rupert Grint, Emily Osment, Victoria Justice.
@@LangBellsChannel Victoria Justice did a comeback recently with a new single
I always think about this or that article of Daniel Radcliffe talking about losing his virginity at 16 (age of consent in the UK as far as I'm aware) to a MUCH older woman while still filming the Harry Potter films. It makes my stomach queasy how so many people don't bat an eyelash at this stuff.
Yeah that’s gross
Same with Henry cavill.. i don't know if he lost his virginity to her but he was young when he was in a relationship with an older woman
oh god i used to be a BIG harry potter fan and had no idea that happened. :(
ruclips.net/video/r1SR9B8HBWY/видео.html
Video of Idris Elba talking about dating a 19 year old when he was 13 on The Jonathan Ross show (a mainstream interview) and the audience not batting an eyelid
I remember hearing rumours about that back then, but I was a kid, it was the 2000s (very tabloid-y time) and I didn't really have the power of the internet to confirm or support those claims. So was it true?
I can't imagine dating an 18 year old now as a 33 year old. As a 43 year old? Holy cow.
I am 32 my gf is 18. I enjoy it very very very much.
@@za7004 Um?????????????
@@za7004 ummmmmmmm
I'm 34, I can't imagine dating a guy who is 24.
When I was 24, I briefly dated a guy who was 21 and even that was a nightmare.
@@za7004 groomer 🤦🏽♀️
The thing with Woody Allen and Soon-Yi Previn always gets me. They say he had little contact with while she was underage, and she never saw him as a father figure. Let's assume that's true and there was no grooming or anything wrong going on before they started dating... She is still the sister of his children, and I think that is wrong. Imagine your father marrying your adoptive sister. People say follow your heart, but sometimes your heart is stupid.
I don't know what's behind their story, if there are real feelings, but even if it's so I find it really creepy.
I could never imagine having a romantic relationship with someone who's supposed to be a parental figure for me, even if they're not related to me by blood.
It's just disgusting
I wonder why people aren't more outraged about this? He raised her as a baby. This is incest, This deserves more attention than two people over legal age getting together.
@@thecraft2091 Mia Farrow adopted Soon-Yi well before she was in a relationship with Allen, so he wasn't necessarily involved in raising her. Doesn't make it right though.
@@emmamartinshh Also, why is a relationship with his biological children not as important to Woody Allen as Soon-Yi? His son Ronan doesn't want anything to do with him because of this and the sexual assault allegations made my Dylan Farrow.
@@lou5956 True that she adopted him beforehand but according to Mia Farrow, he was definitely involved in raising her.
It’s a good thing that you’re discussing this “as a man”. A victim is a victim regardless of gender.
Just wanted to say you are gorgeous sis!
I completely agree! The subject of male victims is one that needs to be taken just as seriously, and spoken about more, and I say that as a female sexual abuse survivor. I would love to see more men involved in the conversation without fear of being ridiculed by others. Both men AND women are part of the problem. And I completely agree with what he said about boys being taught that it’s an aspiration to “get with” AKA be preyed on and/or sexually assaulted by grown women. I’ve seen it so many times and it absolutely disgusts me.
I always think about my mother’s friend, who was molested by an adult female babysitter. My mom has always tried to help him, but to this day, and he passes it off with comments about how “lucky,” he was. :(( It’s incredibly tragic how normalized this is.
As a male victim that has been assaulted a few times growing up and in adulthood, this is very important
100%!
@Tiger Bear That’s very sad :( I hate how common that kind of reaction is.
"Sexual assault isn't about strength, its about power." Genuinely thank you! If only more people understood this.
I had a massive crush on him way back when his career started. I always found it so strange that he went off to marry a woman who could be his mother right in the beginning of his career. Their relationship came from nowhere basically. I'm happy people are reacting to this finally. I never heard anyone talk about it until now, I thought I was the only one. Also, I'm a feminist, but I have too many feminist friends who don't see the issue or try to tone down the male victims of abuse specifically is if the perpetrator is female - feminism is about equality for all, we need to fight for all victims and not only one gender(!!), that is the meaning of equality! Great video btw!
Lol so it felt wrong to you so that proves it's grooming and wrong? He was ur crush, u were at the very least biased in any conclusions u might have drawn. And right now u are experiencing confirmation bias. U want it to ne wrong
@@pardalita the fuck??? You know the commenter had a crush, you sound like that's the crime here smh
Yeah as a feminist, I had also for years found certain feminists focus too much on female victims. But victims can be anyone and feminism, although a movement, is also applied to critique what women and men do, and in this case, predatory behavior.
Honestly, I'm more still disturbed on the double standards when it comes to female criminals. There's a lot, but people tend to underestimate women and even in court some sentences are personally too lenient.
@@audrey9able what commenter? And when did I say twas a crime?
@@audrey9able or even imply it?
She targeted him as her midlife crisis, she saw a young, eager talented actor who probably looked up to her in her powerful job and she felt it stroke her ego.
It’s a creepier spin on the “trophy wife” cliche.
Ffs girl, you don't know them. How narrow-minded are you?
@@bambina5604I’ll bet that none of us on here know them personally- and neither do you I’m guessing. If I’m ‘narrow minded’ for finding their relationship uncomfortable and bizarre- so be it. I just happen to think she abused her position of power and if this situation was reversed and an adult man did this to a young woman it’d be spoken of in the same breath as woody Allen.
@@Katie_Woo I don't know them, that's why I don't make up stories on how their reletionship started and how it "stroke her ego". You can't find their reletionship whatever you want, it's the story you trump up around it that's narrow-minded.
@@bambina5604 I used the word “probably” because it’s speculation, like most of the comments on here. My opinion isn’t even half as offensive as what actually happened in this story
@@Katie_Woo yeah, you used in regards to him. You don't know what actually happened.
"it's this odd idea that the day you are legally allowed to do something, you're also mentally prepared to do something" I have been trying to find these right words for YEARS.
When you mentioned the “teacher-student” grooming I just couldn’t stop thinking about Emmanuel Macron, the president of France, he married his teacher, she is 25 years her senior, it’s just so unsettling
She was 40 and Macron was 15, and a classmate of her daughter Laurence! 🤢 Yeah, talk about unsettling!
@@QUARTERMASTEREMI6 more like 14 years old but yeah, disturbing
How do you feel about czj marrying Douglas who is 26 years older?
@@ifyousayso1466 she was 31 when they got married though and she did have a career before him too
One physical education teacher at my high school openly shared, and it was widely known, that he was married to a woman that was at one point his student, and now she is a science teacher at the same school. Super fucked up.
i related so hard to the "19 year olds should be passionate god knows i should have been (why did i say that im 22)" part. people who lost their teen years to depression give me a hell yeah.
I didn't miss out on my teens due to depression however I did miss out on most of my 20s (21-28) due to depression & severe addiction issues that were so strong they completely controlled my life.
Hell yeah
Hell yeah! *laughs, then cries*
Hell yeah 💯💯💯
Gonna be 20 this year but I didn’t really lose my teenage years to depression, but to isolation.
It makes me sad to think about how ATJ basically lost his entire early adulthood to this woman. Your late teens and early 20s are supposed to be a period of personal growth and experimentation. Instead he basically started his 20s as a parent to three kids.
And seeing photos of them during the Nowhere Boy press circuit really puts into perspective how young he was back then. He still had rosy cheeks and baby fat on his face. He LOOKED like a kid. What grown woman would see that and think, “That’s husband material.”
If he ever divorced her, I’m not sure he’d even know what to do with himself, since it seems like he’s never been alone as an adult before.
Side note: Sam Taylor-Johnson used to have Instagram, but when ATJ was trending on Twitter, a bunch of people ran to her comments and harassed her.
@TheStonesSing right it's wild how standards/values change over generations. marrying your high school sweetheart used to be common af, but now that time period is "supposed" to be for experimentation lol
@@n3rds3y3vi3w in some ways I agree but times are changing. If we stuck to traditional ways there would be no advancements. Yea our early 20’s are supposed to be for experimentation. Marrying your highschool sweet heart WAS common because people were expected to get married. And what are the divorce rates on those? People should get out and explore see what they like before settling down. There’s no reason to lock yourself into a contract at such an early age especially as a male. The early twenties is to get out of your comfort zone, why settle for less?
@@xxdavexx23 well divorce rates have actually continued to increase with each generation too, which also kinda proves my point.
@@n3rds3y3vi3w Population growth can also contribute to a seemingly increase in divorce rates but could not mean much relative to older generations. So not really. Like I said times are changing. Some of the younger generations don’t even want to have kids or are having children at older ages. Men are less willing to get married at younger ages and women want to follow their ambitions nowadays. It’s better to experiment and not have regrets then to settle and ponder on what you’ve missed out on
@@n3rds3y3vi3w divorce rates going up could also be as a result of women empowerment. Women no longer have to stay in abusive relationships as they can now get an education, work and be independent. Just an fyi🙂
I read somewhere he said before marrying her he was very lost. He had alcohol and drug abuse problems, also comes from a neglected childhood, she is obviously a mother figure to him and I believe he preferred to live under this mother figure shield than become strong by himself, he wanted kids fast (she said), more distractions for him to not focus on his own growth, because guess what ?being broken and alone makes you look straight to the ugliness inside, but that is the only way to real growth, I saw an interview of the two promoting a movie, she did 90% of the talking, she clearly wears the pants there, he mostly seems to be filling a part, not very secure of himself, but again how can he have a strong sense of self when all he has known of himself since 18 is a reflection of his much older partners?
Dam and that’s THE TRUTH ❗️❗️ with some cheese on it ❗️❗️❗️
Same thing happened to Christian grey in the movie. And sam directed that movie. It all adds up
@@themango9644 yes it's true!
@@genesiscruz4885 I have seen it happening around me, my sister married a guy in his 30's when she was 17, when she separated 17 years later she acted like a teenager again because she missed the natural development she should of have been experienced, another friend married at 19 with a guy her age but even when she is a happy mother and wife now in her late 30's ,she lacks the social an emotional maturity of a individual of her age, that is because she doesn't have much of a life outside her home and there for she couldn't develop in that area, when the security blanquet is no longer there we feel lost, and I think that is why is important to aim for individual growth apart from everything else .
Bingo
breaks my heart he’s convinced this is normal. his own kids have a closer age gap to him than his wife.
Wow, this fact about the age gap with his kids hit me in the face.
She has mentally and physically and emotionally traumatized and damaged him and she doesn't give a s*** she's practically going out with her own son I'd say considering she has children his age
Ever watched nowhere boy? there are some seriously weird vibes between the mother and Aaron Taylor Johnson, and knowing that Sam Taylor Johnson directed it, makes it even weirder.
yeah but it was actually based on real events...pretty sure john lennon (who the movie is based on) had a moment where he was open to the idea of being intimate with his mother irl...but nonetheless it's weird that she felt she had to keep such a weird fact in the movie...
@@feebee6810 she also directed 50 shades of grey, where the main guy had an affair with his mother's friend when he was 15... he even thanked her for it. really disturbing how sam loves to direct this type of relationship.
The same men that mocked Finn W for calling out Ali Michael are the ones that comment ‘Men are raped too!!1!’ when women discuss rape culture istg.
Well they are. I was
@@cwp4eva I think manda is saying that these men are hypocrites, not that men can’t be raped. I hope you’re doing better now. My well wishes to you
Exactly
Wait what happened with Ali Micheal?
@@cwp4eva I hope you're better now.
I'm french, and this resonates a lot with our president Macron's history with his wife. They met when he was 15 or 16 (the age is not clear because they probably gave a false date for their first meeting) and she was her teacher. It seems they began their relationship when he was 19 and she was double his age.
To me Macron is the sexiest man alive.
he was actually 8 or 9 when they met
@@wearestackedontopofeachother they met when he was in highschool in her theatre class (with her daughter, too), so I'd say 15. It seems that the relationship maybe began at that time, since his parents tried to separate them by sending him to another highschool in Paris. And the codependency (well, the younger partner's dependancy) discussed in this video seems to be still existing in the Macron couple 25 years later.
Il a épousé son violeur, c'est dingue que personne en parle.
@@supervalentin42 oh damn, need to google about that. never even heard about that
remember victorious? Beck was always seen as the most attractive boy in school so much so there is a scene that a grown woman - I think she was an ambulance driver - tries to ask him out, literally using the words 'you wanna go out sometime?' and they treated it as a joke. Luckily jade protected him but still, this was a kid show and it was treated like a joke than a predatory practice.
Dont forgot Dan Schneider was also working on that show and if you know who he is, I should have to say no more.
i’m pretty sure she actually said “you in college?” while touching his shoulder/chest which is actually worse tbh
And there was the episode where a reality show filmed at their school, Beck auditions for it, and a clearly 20-something production assistant asks him "You have a girlfriend?" When he says yes, she goes "Dang it!"
The intention of Kevin Feige was for Wanda to resurrect Pietro, just like she did in the comics at one point. In WandaVision we even got hints of that, but weirdly Aaron refused to comeback, and i'm starting to wonder why. MCU is a long trip, you stay in a role for 10 - 15 years and work in a lot of projects per year. I bet that Sam is the reason why he don't want to be Pietro anymore. She is trully abusive and seems to keep him locked.
that honestly sucks, i would've loved to see atj as pietro again after being killed off right in the first marvel movie he starred in. he has great chemistry with elizabeth olsen and u could clearly see that during age of ultron, so i assume that might also have something to do with it.
@@ashdagamer880 There's also the 2014 Godzilla film where Aaron and Elizabeth Olsen played a couple. Age of Ultron came out in 2015, so one could assume that AoU and Godzilla were being made at almost the same time. Maybe Sam didn't like the chemistry
I mean -
they talked about how "they don't like being apart" and have said they never have been apart for more than three days in their entire relationship and i'm pretty sure that's why he hasn't returned to the mcu
As a feminist, I absolutely believe that male victims need to be talked about more often. It gets me so pressed that there are people out there that ignore these issues. The system is broken, and saying that women are the only ones who matter in this circumstance goes against everything they should be fighting for. There are issues on both sides, and they need to be addressed and discussed openly. Great vid!♥️
“As a feminist... *MRA talking point about the false idea that women opress male victims and men are the real victims of rape culture and it’s men that don’t get spoken about in society*” you liberal feminists are braindead
@@Moo-fb2kb Bruh- I never said that women shouldn’t be talked about as well. Just as the video said, women are significantly assaulted/raped/targeted more, but that doesn’t mean men should be ignored. Idk why tf you decided responding to a bunch of “liberal” feminists in this comment section was a good idea, but to me it just seems like you’re asking for a fight. Kinda pathetic that you’re spending your time mocking someone.
@@Moo-fb2kb While I see your point, it IS important to point out that all of these issues stem from the same systemic problems about harmful gender roles and norms, and that feminism is intended to abolish those norms, which in turn would help all victims of abuse. I think if more people saw it that way, we wouldn't have so many toxic dudes yelling "what about the male victims??" because they would see that it all stems from the same toxic bullshit about femininity being weak and masculinity being strong.
Finally I find another feminist that like myself believes that feminism is about equality
Hi - nice to meet a feminist who believes in EQUALITY.
She took advantage of him. He was a kid in need of help and direction and she took advantage of him, emotionally and physically. Absolutely sickening.
He was 18. If you’re an 18 year old dude and you get totally taken advantage of by a woman, you definitely deserve it. One thing no one ever talks about ever is that the whole reason that 18 is that “magic number” that makes you an adult, is because 16 is still kinda questionable. 18 is concrete. You’re definitely old enough to think for yourself. Even if she actually did.... he’s still a full grown adult. I get that 18 year olds are borderline retarded. I mean look at the dude in the video. He’s clearly experienced just enough to where he thinks his opinion is Important. But it’s old enough to make your own decision
@@jarrettfinney4882 why in the world would 18 be a magic number lmao. what is the monumental difference between 17 and 18?? when you're 18 you're possibly still even in high school, or barely starting college. a lot of people at that age are still learning emotional intelligence and the workings of the proverbial "real world". it's not hard to fathom that an 18 year old boy could get taken advantage of by an older/more experienced man or woman. especially if you don't encounter that adult in a nefarious situation, why would you EXPECT them to take advantage of you?? moreover, the whole point of abuse and manipulation is often to be inconspicuous so that even the victim has trouble realizing they're being taken advantage of. there are a million other psychological factors that go into this that have to do with aaron's, in this example, and other's upbringing, traumas, etc. that we'll likely never know about. aaron did not deserve whatever happened to him. you're also not a full grown adult until youre 25. sooooooo LMFAO
@@jarrettfinney4882 i’m 19 and i’ve experienced so much emotional growth in the last year that dating an 18 year old seems disgusting to me now. Even if they’re old enough to make their own decision, the maturity gap is gross and would lead to a situation in which i have more power over the other person. Imagine that, but with, like, a 40 year age gap. Imagine how much more mature a 60 year old is than an 18 year old, and the ways they can weaponize that maturity against an 18 year old. THATS what’s gross, it’s not about the 18 year old “being able to make their own decisions”. They’re definitely NOT mature enough to realize that there’s a power imbalance.
@@nuclearclarity3778 I got into a lot, but what I’m really trying to say is that I haven’t seen any evidence at all that she ever abused her power in any way. Now, maybe she did. I wasn’t there. I just don’t think it should be presented as a fact with no evidence at all. I mean he’s still with her, there must be something there. If anything he’s got the power now and he’s still there
@@vero6618 idk if you noticed, but I put quotation marks around magic number. Obviously I don’t think there’s anything magic about going from 17 to 18, but for more ppl than you think, going from 17 to 18 means “ok, old enough. Legal. Mind your own business and don’t give me shit now. We’re two consenting adults.” I’m fully aware that 18 year olds aren’t the brightest. None of us were at that age, but I can honestly say, if you’re an 18 year old dude and you get “taken advantage of” by an older woman, you definitely deserve it because you’re brain dead. I’m not saying one is smarter than the other, I’m just saying being an 18 year old boy, and being an 18 year old girl is not the same thing AT ALL. When I was 18, I enlisted in the military. Looking back, I wish I wouldn’t had listened to the people I had listened to, like all of the recruiters and parents who told me it was a great idea, but at the end of the day, I signed the dotted line. It was my choice. It was a mistake, but it was a mistake I made for sure. And it was a lot more serious than “I decided to date someone”. I could’ve actually been killed, but there’s no way on earth I could ever go back and say I was taken advantage of by a recruiter. And he’s not saying he was taken advantage of at all. It’s just something this piece of shit decided to make up completely out of thin air. Even if y’all don’t agree, I get it, but how do y’all not see how much of a psychopath this twerp on screen is?
This has nothing to do with the point of this vid but I will not stand for Thief Lord slander that movie is good asf
Idk why this made me laugh, but thank you for that
I laughed so hard at this comment 😂😂😂
It was my favourite movie growing up, so I‘m with you 😂
I came to say the same, it was my favorite childhood movie
I fancied the thief lord so much growing up
i love how he literally said that men and the patriachy feed into harmful ideas about male victims and in the comments i see a bunch of people blaming it on feminism. he is literally applying feminist theory here
No he's not. He has some tiny flaws. Yes the majority of people telling the little boy he's lucky are overwhelming men. And they're overwhelming men because feminists have made it difficult to hold female perpetrators responsible/accountable when they say women experience more violence than men. It's also overwhelming men because both parents dont teach their sons the basic warnings like they do to women.
If he says that women are overwhelming victims that's just feeding into the stereotype that women cant be perpetrators. I'm sure you've heard feminists that have said "the oppressed cannot be the oppressor" or how Jezabel blogged about hitting their boyfriends.
@@carolinahernandez627 you are just....speaking outta your ass. It is a statistical fact that women make up the majority of victims of sexual/relationship abuse. It is also a statistical fact that men make up the majority of predators, even amongst male victims. Pointing this FACT out is not what makes it harder for men to speak out, nor does it have anything to do with feminism. The attitude that women are incapable of being predators stems from the patriarchal notion that men are the natural pursuers in relationships. Sexist ideas about the nature of a relationship between men and women are the reason why men will ridicule other men for being victimized by a woman, because men are supposed to be the ones with the power in their minds. If you bothered to do any research before you typed this drivel you'd know that the majority of the time when men speak out on their abuse, their supporters are overwhelmingly other women. Terry Crews is a prime example of this and said so out his own mouth. The majority of the time that male abuse is even given a platform, it is by a feminist organization. So to blame feminism for men not feeling comfortable talking about abuse, when other men are usually the ones silencing them, is comically idiotic.
@@carolinahernandez627 women saying they experience more violence than men isn't feeding into anything. It is a FACT. A FACT that is STILL being denied but alas. People DO, though, use that information to undermine men. It happens. It happens because people use it to twist narrative; it is a fact nonetheless.
@@carolinahernandez627 smh the truth will slap you people in the face and you still wouldn't accept it..
Harry Styles was 17 when he was "romantically linked" to 31 year old Caroline Flack, which started an endless cycle of over-sexualization and jokes about him "chasing cougars" which still follow him 10 years later. He endlessly denied their relationship, yet it was pushed onto him in every single interview and article written about him at the time. The whole thing was absolutely disgusting and shows how sick the media is in perpetuating grooming.
Wait didn't the other One direction boy marry an older woman her flirted with as a child too?
Yeah Liam was 15 and Cheryl 25 when they met. It's only 10 years but she was in a position of power in their industry.
The age of consent in the UK is 16, so it isn't grooming. They had every right to do the nasty.
@@maxisussex Laws aren't always morally right.
@@rhiannongreen2642 liam was 14 when they met
Bruh! Don’t even get me started on Scott disick dating that 19 year old girl and the relationship before that! Man is damn near about to turn 40 and is messing around with TEENS
That’s a whole fact, I see way too much in the sense entertainment industry
One of Bradley Cooper's exes was 19 and he was 40
liam payne and his ex child fiance!!!
The same thing had happened to Elizabeth Gillies she was also groomed by an older guy
@@audreyc9653 oh yea I remember that one!!
I think the delay on getting married was because Sam was still married. They had kids while waiting for the divorce to come through since Sam was already in her early 40s so time was running out to tie Aaron down for good. I'm so glad people are starting to talk about Sam and Aaron, it has creeped me out since the start. I don't think they will break up, at least not anytime soon. I'm sure Sam has made Aaron completely dependent on her.
Yes! I’m glad someone mentioned tying him down, that’s literally the only reason I can think of for them rushing to have kids. It saddens me and my heart breaks for him, though people argue it’s late, I hope and pray he can wake up and realize how wrong it was of her to do what she did.
That's absolutely what she was doing, hes less likely to leave her when they have kids. He's more likely to stay around for his kids, but also he can't choose to end it later in life when he wants kids with someone his own age.
Sam's daughter's age is closer to Aaron than she is. This is messed up. I feel so bad for Aaron. Abuse and inappropriate sexualizing goes both ways. Young girls and boys are sexualized so badly. It also happened to my friend, and boys comparing her to an adult film actor just because she was more developed. It really makes us feel unsafe and I hate the feeling. People should listen to you more. Predatory grooming should receive more attention and more people should speak about it.
no like... aaron was like 7 when the daughter was born.... his future stepdaughter... how messed up is it
The age gap between him and his own daughter is smaller than his and his wife's
Not only that, Wolfhard was being called “daddy” since the age of 14 even after he stated that it made him uncomfortable
god that is so gross
Omg that’s disgusting
oh hell no wtf
Ew
who the actual fuck calls a 14 year old child daddy????? WHAT???!?
aaron was a teenager and sam was an adult with a fully formed family. i dont know how and why anyone could defend this
he was fresh out of high school/his teenage years and he was already trapped with a child. he didn’t even get to live before she pulled him away from the world.
He basically didn't enjoy his youth
"He's being treated as a reward instead of a human being" was like WOAH... yeah! It immediately clicked for me.
Period, men are so influenced by other men to think that they’re “lucky” instead of abused or taken advantage of to the point where some will never try to get out of the situation or even realize the situation they’re in. This relationship is obviously extremely twisted in any way you look at it. What kind of healthy minded middle aged grown woman would accept basically a kid’s (who you’ve allegedly only ever had a buisness relationship with) marriage proposal after just months of meeting…
And let’s not forget the paparazzi that ruined Emma Watson’s 18th birthday and how ppl made a count down to Billie eillish’s 18th birthday.
I had to look it up because I was too young for the Emma Watson thing and omg...that's terrible what they did...
It’s disgusting how there are so many 18th bday countdowns for female celebs. Natalie Portman and the Olsen twins come to mind as well.
@@lilianal410 I just looked it up myself and damn.. this world is screwed up.. being 18 just makes it legal but the kids(even below 18) nowadays are so sexualized with even the clothes they wear. influenced by everything like Tv shows, music, ect. Its normalized and it’s disgusting
Wasn't Emma's 18th, in the U.K. newspapers counted down to her 16th, the legal age for girls having hetero sex in the U.K.
I had an ex who thought the photo was hilarious - it was someone in line for autographs handing her a photo of an upskirt shot of her barely 18, and the look on her face was pure horror and disgust.
He thought it was so funny.
(Yeah I dumped him not long after that, freakin sleazeball)
But this made me remember that.
I remember reading once about how at the time they had met, aaron was very self destructive, smoking and drinking in excess, and how sam was the one who turned his life around and put him on the right path. I feel like that gives a lot of context into why he may feel so attached to her, like maybe he feels like without her he would still be so self destructive and that's why he's stayed with her. And that also kinda plays into the power imbalance as he may have seen her as like this godly figure that saved him from himself.
It makes it even worse cause he was a teenager in a really vulnerable position, and she took advantage of it.
And to think. What would happen if they ended things? How can he get all those years back?
Isn’t it funny how she directed 50 shades of Grey and in that story Christian Grey was grommed as a teenager by an older woman? His adoptive mother’s friend… that must have been awkward
Lol she was inspired by true events
Exactly what I thought.
Last year I worked at McDonald’s where a man was “dating” a 17yr old HS senior. I went nuts. I complained and eventually quit the job. Before I quit I went to the police and imagine my surprise to find out in the state of Texas legal age is 17. Nobody cared and management treated me like I was the problem.
If 17 is legal age, you were the problem. You are not the morality police.
If the legal age is 17 then it ain't a problem. Not saying it isn't weird, but people don't have to live their lives according to your moral standards.
People in the replies acting like slavery wasn’t legal, legal doesn’t make fucked up shit okay
@@r.b_7875 how the fuck are you comparing this to slavery. Honestly of you aren't mature enough at 18 to make your own decisions then flipping hell get a grip.
There is a cut off for a reason do you wamt the cut off to be 23 or 25.
The topic discussed reminds me of Björn Andrésen. He starred in Death in Venice (1971)- a film that is still considered to be highly controversial today because of its somewhat ambiguous and disturbing sexualization of a minor. The film however achieved great popularity at the time of its premiere- and the 14 years old Björn was being worshipped and idolized all over the world because of his ethereal beauty and youthful appearance. A new documentary produced this year (2021) called The most beautiful boy in the world features Björn himself- now a 66 year old man- talking about his trauma and subsequent depression because of what he experienced during the aftermath of the film. I don't know the exact details of what was said since i haven't watched the documentary myself but according to the summary that i read, Björn mentioned being brought to ''gentleman club'' by the director of the film and being inapproriately approached by many men who were years older than his own age. Not to mention many other similar instances which were only implied involving adult women . It is indeed upsetting that somehow all of this was swept under the carpet and many other incidents concerning young adult or children are generally disregarded due to the people involved and the public's attitude. I hope that people will become more aware of this problem and how it could destroy a person's life in so many ways- especially for a barely coming of age teenager. More importantly, i hope that the victims will be able to find their peace and continue to lead a normal, happy life, which is unfortunately not the case for Björn.
fun fact he also jumps off the cliff in midsommar
He literally inspired over a dozen iconic manga characters
@Tiger Bear i haven't watched it either. It is due to be released at the end if this year if i'm not mistaken.
A seriously disturbing movie. Yuck. We like to say Hollywood if crawling with creeps but they’re really just everywhere
@Tiger Bear I've just looked at a photo and I think I now know how Armand in The Vampire Chronicles is supposed to look.
Aaron Taylor-Johnson and I are less than two months apart in age, and I remember his rise to fame and the beginning of this relationship. And it always felt uncomfortable to me. This video CALLED to me; thank you for making it and providing a thoughtful perspective on an incredibly uncomfortable but essential-to-discuss topic.
Also I know you weren’t going to speculate, but I’d speculate that there’s something gratifying to adults when younger, cool people give us attention. I have a feeling that Sam probably was incredibly charmed by Aaron, and she was eager for the attention he gave her. That leads of course to your point that, as the older person with more life experience, she then had the responsibility to define the relationship. And she defined it in a way that was… I’d say wildly inappropriate. As adults, when children or very young adults give us attention, it is our responsibility to hold that power over them respectfully and thoughtfully. Sam didn’t do that, and while it seems harmless to her and Aaron (because they both wanted this), it was still wrong. /my addendum
His wife is the same age as me. I would never go for someone who could be my child. She was 23 when he was born. She could be his mom. I don’t know how she can defend marrying a young kid.
as an eighteen year old, i recognize that WE DON’T KNOW ANYTHING. seriously, SO many people my age think that just because they’re legally an adult, they know what their doing. *newsflash:* no you don’t. you can be considered mature and grown but you have to remember that the bar is so low for us to be considered “mature” and even if you ARE mature and have a ton of life experience, there are still bound to be things you do not understand. you are not as grown as you think you are and that’s not the worst thing in the world but please keep that in mind.
edit: forgot to point out that you will never wake up at a certain age knowing everything about the world and even about yourself. you’ll definitely know more than when you were younger but everyone’s perspective is still always going to be a bit blurry but that’s just what it is. my siblings are between their mid thirties-early twenties and i can guarantee you that they are not the all-knowing beings we thought they’d be when we were all a tad bit younger.
still, if i can’t convince you from my outside perspective of other people, you can read Mrs Winter’s comment about a first-hand experience/perspective. thank you so much them for pointing it out :)
TLDR; there isn’t an age you know everything but you especially don’t know much at a younger age. being really really young with someone waaaay older isn’t a flex, it’s weird.
Oh boy, do I have newsflash for you: NOBODY does. Doesn't matter the age, people barely know what they are supposed to do (let alone someone else). Doesn't matter how old you are there will always be things you do not understand. I'm much older than you and retrospectively, things I didn't know at 18 have zero to do with romantic relationships. I didn't know things about life, about survival, about myself, one never knows themselves fully but I did already know all that I need to know about relationships and that is: Relationship doesn't need to be hard work and compromise because good match is what makes it really work. I never had bad relationship no matter if with someone younger or older, at 19 or now in my marriage at 30. There is this myth of some adulthood but people are same naive, same biased and same lost at 50 as they were at 15 just in a bit different way.
@@joannawinters6592 yeah i think SO many people my age forget that there’s no specific birthday in which you wake up and boom: you know everything. unrealistic. people have this ideal fantasy of what it’s going to be like when they reach a certain age and boy are they in for a disappointing treat. thank you for your input!
@@joannawinters6592 I think we can all agree that there is a basic level of experience you gain as you get older. Sure some people are going to be more lost at 50 than other 50 year olds but not as lost as a 15 year old. I can say for certain that I am a much more evolved version of my 18 year old self and it's all down to life experience. I've gotten to know myself better in those 10 years as well as gotten to know the world better and how I interact with it. Of course something doesn't click when you reach a certain age. You just learn lessons everyday as a growing person and eventually it adds up. Might not get you as far as other people's lessons but everyone's journey is different and at a certain point you do have to actively put in work if you want to grow more as a person.
It took until I was 26 to feel like I had some sort of idea of who I was as a person! Even now I think most of us are winging it 😂
Yes!! If you go to a bar or club and STILL aren’t allowed to drink alcohol, even being 18, you are too young!!!! Idk how 18 year olds are considered adults. You can’t even legally drink alcohol until 4 years later. Legality doesn’t equal Morality!
22:15 "Abusers can often be completely unaware that they're being abusive. Either because they were socialized to see abusive behavior as normal or they've been abused themseves and don't really recognize it as such"
This is very important! it's not like "you're an abuser, you're a bad person", but "society made you an abuser, please recognize your role in it".
I remember finding out about Aaron Taylor-Johnson from "Angus,Thongs and Perfect Snogging" and looking him up, thus finding out about this weird pair. I remember thinking back then just how inappropriate this all seems and yup, didn`t get any better.
Doesn’t it seem like this has affected the trajectory of his career? I’ve known about him for a while and have often wondered why he doesn’t have many roles as the “leading man” or as a romantic interest, it seems like he should be way more famous but he always plays such minimal roles.
I’m speculating here but part of me thinks that she doesn’t want him to acquire more power (via fame), be romanticized by an audience his age, or to act in roles that have him getting cozy with another person. His film choices always felt off to me, like he could be doing a lot more, be a household name, idk it’s weird and seems like he’s minimizing himself somehow
It’s curious that he got big off of comic book movies like Age of Ultron and the Kick Ass movies, and now he’s working on smaller work like A Million Little Pieces. (It’s interesting that nobody talks about the movie, but the book was huge until Oprah put the author on blast)
If she really is controlling his career, then smaller movies mean less money earned and shorter film schedules.
I wonder about the movies where he has sex with a female costar. He got down in Kickass, and he had a threesome with Blake Lively and another guy (sorry I can’t remember his name) in Savages. All those movies were filmed well after he and Sam got together.
@@reikun86 I don’t think she’s overtly controlling him, it looks more like he’s been groomed at an impressionable age to stay minimal; so he probably does this unconsciously as not to upset her. Or maybe because he got locked down with kids so soon he can be easily guilted or chooses to make more time at home.
She’s in a higher level position as a director and he’s in a less powerful position as an actor, but if he was fulfilling his potential (which I think he isn’t, just personally) he would be far more famous and adored worldwide and therefore more powerful, in access with more people who desire to work with him and therefore acquire more personal power in the relationship dynamic and he might start thinking of other possibilities. Possibilities outside of her.
One of the ways abusers or groomers operate is by keeping you away from people or making you feel bad about associating with other people such that you start to associate being social and making bigger moves with bad feelings. Perhaps, why he’s always so shy and distant on other movie sets. Idk it’s pure speculation of course.
And even Age of Ultron was one of his first spotlight roles YEARS after Kickass and he doesn’t even play a super significant character and then dies. After Kickass, Angus, Thongs and Perfect Snogging, and yes, even Nowhere Boy where he plays the lead it just doesn’t makes sense that he would end up playing kind of boring side characters that no one remembers all the time.
@@anunexpectedfriend I can see where he is unconsciously choosing smaller projects and keeping a lower profile.
@@reikun86 hopefully this is nowhere close to the case 😔
@@anunexpectedfriend I hope so too. I really hope that this is his choice.
this video is amazing. it never clicked in my brain that the people who are saying the stuff about him divorcing sam so they can "have a chance" was resexualizing him. this really provided me some perspective and opened my eyes to what people are saying.
I heard she knew him since he was a child cause "allegedly" her family was/is friends with his family. Yikes!
Ewww...oh my god!
What if the genders were reversed ?
Yeah, apparently she knows him since he was 6 or 7 years old... 🤢🤢🤢
@@ibabechanel regardless of that, grooming as a whole is utterly wrong! Your comment is very invalidating of the fact that this young man was taken advantage of and manipulated! You are part of the problem! I suggest you get help rn!!!!
@@gabrielyoliveira1578 ewwww wtf!!!
That part when the couple says they can't be separated even for some days always rubs me the wrong way. It looks like Aaron can't function without his wife. That's expected once he didn't had the chance to live his adult life and experiment by himself, free from her influence. The thing I got from this, also from how fast they did everything (engagement, children, etc), it's that Sam was trying to get him before he knows better, before he can see that he can live without her. That kind of dependence is toxic, but benefits her, and he would not see how bad the situation is because that's all he knows. Grooming at it's best. Also great video, you talked about such a serious issue but was able to keep things interesting, that's talent
Of course she directed 50 shades of grey. That’s a horrible power imbalanced grooming relationship too. She’d know exactly how to portray that. 🤮
she's got a lifetime of knowledge
Exactly my thought!!
I read that he was battling drugs and depression and it was also implied that he was suicidal when he met her. She helped him get better and he's forever grateful for her. Seems like the case of a patient attaching himself to his psychiatrist.
Somehow knowing that makes it even worse.
That makes it 10x worse
What’s your source?
@@slystone4892 Articles and research. I was a huge ATJ fan.
@@ms.bubs4fun506 ok
how anyone finds barely legal 'adults' leaving their teenage years attractive is sick. what could you possibly have in common with an 18 year old at 40+? you were double their age at birth. you just want them for their bodies and to manipulate their impressionable/naive minds. it's abuse.
I'm 26 and I wouldn't touch an 18 year old with a 10 foot pole. What do you even talk about? Some of my students are that age and they don't have even remotely the same references and experiences I have. If you're 30+ and you're interested in anyone below 20, you don't want a partner, you want a plaything.
@@linasayshush That's because they don't have talk in mind...
This exactly! What do you have in common with an 18 year old when you’re twice their age!? I don’t understand that. “They’re mature for their age” is such a bs excuse as well.
The way you spoke about this issue objectively, in depth and with reliable sources was amazing. You touched important issues and addressed it properly, without offending the audience. Your statement about abusers and power dynamics was so true. Its sad to think so many young vulnerable people out there are being groomed, manipulated and used in such a manner, without realising that they are actually the victims. Thank you.
He’s just a drama queen.
@@slystone4892 - ope! Here is a prime example of someone who just doesn’t get it. (Meaning you.)
@@seeminglyerika perhaps, I don’t see any problem.
@@slystone4892 oh my man. You’ve got a lot of life to live if you don’t see a problem with obvious grooming of any gender. Peace be with you.
@@seeminglyerika ok take care.
Yes, thank you very much for talking about this. No matter what your gender is, grooming is grooming. I'm so tired of people making excuses that they've been together for over 10 years. And?.
That doesn't make it any better, it's still pretty bad.
And speaking of celebrity children, I can't understand how much people sexualize them, it's disgusting and inhumane. I'll never forget how much they sexualized the entire cast of Stranger Things, or how people were counting down because Billie Eilish was turning 18. After that, it came out that she was the most searched on p0rn sites. Really disgusting!.
I don't get why people do that! They did a countdown on Natalie Portman turning 18 (when she starred in Leon the Professional, she got a lot of fanmail from adults saying very sexual things about her, she was a literal child back then) and they did it with the olsen twins as well.
It's creepy...but for some fucking reason, it was done on a radio station at the time. It's sick.
They also had a countdown for Emma Watson, and let's not forget how many people subscribed to Bhad Bhabie's OF right after she turned 18.
And now Billie Eilish is with a 29 year old man. I really hope she's safe and that the relationship is healthy
@@hannaheve868 no 30 yr old shou ever see a 19 yr old attractive in any way
That relationship is kinda iffy
Glad you're talking about this, because it's a bigger problem than people want to acknowledge and it tends to be very jaded. Right now it seems to be: Adult man grooms teenage girl = Not Okay. Adult gay man grooms teenage boy = Not Okay. Adult Woman grooms teenage boy = High Fives. Grooming damages kids no matter how its spun and adults of both sexes should know better.
And don't forget grooming/abuse of young girls by women!
I feel like the "high five"-thing was way worse 20 years or so ago, and has become much better.
@@justsomeone5936 this happened to me.
its not always grooming bro
@@alphadream953The only way it won't be grooming is when they see eachother in the past but get together after a lot of time has passed. Adults getting into a relationship with minors is not okay, unless the age gap is like 1-2 years and/or they were in a relationship before hand. Otherwise, it's not worth taking a risk.
Exactly. I remember reading articles about female teachers having affairs with their students and would see comments by adult men saying things like “why didn’t I have teachers like that growing up”, “stupid kid should’ve kept quiet so he could keep getting it” or “why did he say anything, he had a good thing going”. This kind of shit makes me sick. It’s that kind of attitude that keeps young (or old) boys from getting help when they are being sexually abused. It makes me think of all the victims of abusive priests.
Sam does have social media but Aaron doesn’t, which is another thing that to me seems fishy
literally the same thing with my comfort celebrity, Bill Skarsgård. it makes no sense. you'd seen about the Hunter Echo and Millie Bobby Brown thing? they were like 4 years difference yet Hunter did such a heinous thing to Millie. It's the same for Bill. He's like 6-7 years younger than the woman he stays with and that's disgusting because she isn't half as reputed as him and attends these premieres with him to gain the "name fame" which basically sucks and i hate it. she seems so manipulative by nature and i hope Bill wakes up one day and realizes that he's been staying in manipulation because you can see it in the pictures.
@@anurimamukherjee1813 oh my god she's that much older? How old was she when they met??
I saw something once where ppl didn't like her but I never looked much into it
Probably something to do with the entire internet telling him he’s an abuse victim 24/7
No, he's on Instagram
this is an example of someone who is advocating for men's health but not simultaneously bringing down women. Good job!
Also.... 7:25 immediately subscribed.
I have a feeling that what you consider "bringing down", is some very light criticism. I also think a chief deciding factor in that is who its coming from, and their ideological background.
Just a feeling though.
@@bannedmann4469 im sorry this is probably my small brain but i genuinely don’t understand what you mean?
@@elizamoylan1948 Not sure how exactly I can elaborate. I've heard this stuff before, and it gets banned and panned without being very different in content.
Maybe you could give us some examples of people advocating for men's health while simultaneously bringing women down.
@@bannedmann4469 That's such bullshit. Men constantly feel the need to put down women under the guise of men's health or education. It's all over the internet. Dr. Shaym is a perfect example of a channel that does that. All the alpha male channels that call women sluts and are teaching men how to avoid the "wrong" kind of women. Every Christian conservative channel like YogiOabs Reborn. All the stupid bullshit reddit videos asking men about the sexism they experience complete with thumbnails mocking women and feminism as well as multiple men actively trying to position their sexism as way harder to handle than any a woman faces. It's never-ending.
@@bannedmann4469 like for example I (a woman) could be talking about how I feel unsafe walking home at night because I fear being attacked by a man and then a man would interrupt and say “well men get raped too” “what about the male victims of sexual assault” “you know women can be rapists too” and while all those are completely valid points it wasn’t really the time or place to bring that up because they are using a valid argument to try to dismantle another completely valid argument. And yes this has happened to me.
Having kids together is also a way an older person can use that to trap the victim.
It's really disturbing
He was groomed and got his youth taken away by a predator. It's obvious that because the groomer was a woman people see it in a different light. It should never be seen as a normal relationship, it has always been about the power for her she can take credit for making his career. If you see a problem with a 18 year old girl and a 30 year old man than you should see how horrifying this whole "relationship" is.
I would disagree, sir. Beyonce was 17 when she met Jay Z who was I believe 30. It's pretty much grooming but is still not talked about a lot. Yes, there's a bit of sensitivity happening on sexual harrassment where people are finally beginning to sympathize but we (men, women, others) still have a long way to go
I have a friend, her teacher at university has a very young husband. She met him at camping. She was 30, he was 15. She said that he looked old enough. They started dating and got married the next day after his 18 year's birthday. 6 months later they had a baby. He moved to her apartment when he was 15. His parents tried to fight for their son, but he cut them off. He attends to university now, he is 21. I asked for a picture just out of curiosity, she showed me a pic that was taken at camping. He looked like a child! Even worse, like a teenage girl. The teacher posts his nudes on her Instagram account, she is obsessed with him, all pics with him. He has a beard, just like Aaron Taylor. :(
@Swekitten you were 20 not 18
I mentioned it elsewhere but i see nothing wrong with flings and things of that nature with a giant age gap. If Everyones on the same page.. Have a blast. Its when these grown men/women essentially groom these teens into the perfect spouse that makes me sick.
@@yaz6589 exactly. There is a hugggee difference between fresh out of highschool vs paying ur own way in the world. Even if ur still living at home at 20 uve developed massively in the 2 yrs of actual adulthood.
I've been following this mans career for many years, i remember vividly them saying that because Aaron had had addiction issues, he didn't like "women his age" and Sam said something along the lines of "he's very mature for his age and that's what i like about him"
ew…
What kind of addiction Issues?
I've aways hated the "welp this person just turned 18 or is 19-20 years in age, it's fine if they date someone 10 years older than them" justification.
*cough cough Billie Eilish
@heens x she’s been seen dating a guy ten years older than her
@@Choomsy imo 10 years isn’t fine if one of the people is barely legal. 18-20 year olds dating older people shouldn’t be normalised on the basis that they’re “legal adults”, it’s creepy either way
@@SS-yl5wo i would push it to 23 tbh... at least be at the age where you're supposed be done with post-secondary school or something. i don't see why anyone in their 30's would want to be with someone in the student demographic... 20 & 23 is no different in life stages.
@@나은서-b1s yeah you’re right, I struggle to understand what someone above the age of 30 would see in a 20 year old
The amount of people I’ve had to fight with in the marvel fandom bc they cannot wrap their heads around Aaron and S*ms relationship, is embarrassing. Thank you for making a vid on this!
@Akira Cephas yesss exactly!
OMFG same but with the HP fandom (cus we think he would play a good James Potter) 🤢🖐🏻
Personally, what rubbed me the wrong way when Nowhere boy came out and everybody was talking about their relationship and how good the film was, was Sam’s decision as the director to include sexual tension between John Lennon and his strange mother... in context it make everything even creepier
Actually, there is this story in John's biography that says he used to think about his mother like that (yes, creepy, I know). Maybe it came from this story. But still, John's thing is creepy and what Sam did to Taylor is very bad.
@@larissapaixao3687 yeah but the guy who wrote that passage in his also wrote some fucked stuff that just isn’t true about John Lennon so again, take it all with a pinch of salt ig. The author was pretty messed in a lot of ways lol
@@elizabethbeckz55 I didn't know that. Thanks for clarifying!
Wow, I’d never thought of it that way. And it is extra creepy like she was planting the idea in his head. Even though she didn’t completely make it up - there’s biographies that mention it. She made a creative decision to make it part of the movie. She could have just as easily not had it in their.
RIGHT!! I don’t think John Lennon and his estranged mother even had that weird sexual tension…. So why put it in the movie.?