Fighting those BPD Fears with Facts This is a battle you CAN win!! Worksheet included
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- Опубликовано: 8 май 2024
- Order The Borderline Personality Disorder Workbook by Dr. Fox: goo.gl/LQEgy1 BPD
Dr. Fox’s latest (research based book): Antisocial, Narcissistic, and Borderline Personality Disorders: A New Conceptualization of Development, Reinforcement, Expression, and Treatment: www.amazon.com/Antisocial-Nar...
Worksheet: www.drdfox.com/worksheets
There are many irrational fears that accompany BPD. These are part of the disorder, and sometimes they win. When they win, they activate your core content and drive you to engage in those maladaptive patterns that disrupt your life on a continual basis. Time is up for those fears and it's time to fight back with facts. In this video I'm going to discuss common fears that people with BPD encounter and help you can fight them with facts. I've created a worksheet to help you, so download it, use it, and FIGHT BACK!!
It's about fighting those those fears with facts. This is a battle you CAN win!! Worksheet included
Daniel J. Fox, Ph.D., is a licensed psychologist in Texas, international speaker, and a multi-award winning author. He has been specializing in the treatment and assessment of individuals with personality disorders for over 15 years in the state and federal prison system, universities, and in private practice. His specialty areas include personality disorders, ethics, burnout prevention, and emotional intelligence.
He has published several articles in these areas and is the author of:
Antisocial, Narcissistic, and Borderline Personality Disorders: A New Conceptualization of Development, Reinforcement, Expression, and Treatment. Available at: www.drdfox.com/books
The Borderline Personality Disorder Workbook: An Integrative Program to Understand and Manage Your BPD. Available at: goo.gl/LQEgy1
Antisocial, Borderline, Narcissistic and Histrionic Workbook: Treatment Strategies for Cluster B Personality Disorders (IPBA Benjamin Franklin Gold Award Winner): goo.gl/BLRkFy
Narcissistic Personality Disorder Toolbox: 55 Practical Treatment Techniques for Clients, Their Parents & Their Children (IPBA Benjamin Franklin Silver Award Winner):: goo.gl/sZYhym
The Clinician’s Guide to Diagnosis and Treatment of Personality Disorders: goo.gl/ZAVe9v
Dr. Fox has given numerous workshops and seminars on ethics and personality disorders, personality disorders and crime, treatment solutions for treating clients along the antisocial, borderline, narcissistic, and histrionic personality spectrum, emotional intelligence, managing mental health within the prison system, and others. Dr. Fox maintains a website of various treatment interventions focused on working with and attenuating the symptomatology related to individuals along the antisocial, borderline, narcissistic, and histrionic personality spectrum (www.drdfox.com).
RUclips: / drdanielfox
Dr. Fox’s website: www.drdfox.com/
Facebook: / appliedpsychservices
Twitter: / drdanieljfox1
LinkedIn: / drdfox
Instagram: / drdfox
Amazon Author’s Page: amazon.com/author/drfox
Videos edited by Emil Christopher: emilchristopheredits@gmail.com
Thank you for your attention and I hope you enjoy my videos and find them helpful and subscribe. I always welcome topic suggestions and comments.
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Using the term 'BPD lens' fills me with a sense of relief, for it helps me to realize that it is merely a perspective, and therefore, changeable.
I'm glad it's helpful. Be well
I just recently realized that I have BPD. I was misdiagnosed as having bipolar disorder, but since then, it’s been confirmed that I don’t have bipolar disorder. I never thought I had BPD, because I just struggle with negative thoughts and feelings and take everything so personally. I have such a strong fear of abandonment that I tend to jump to conclusions and end relationships before the other person has the ability to walk away.
It’s hard to turn off those negative thoughts. It’s so overwhelming that I just want to scream. I know that it’s not possible for everyone to hate me, but sometimes I feel like the world is against me. I try my best to have positive thoughts, but the negative thoughts are just so loud. And, life is too short to be so miserable
Ready your reply is like looking in the mirror. I had a mis diagnosis of Bipolar for over 10 years, I saw a clinical psychologist and within 2 sessions he diagnosed me with BPD with Major depressive disorder and anxiety. My treatment changed and I getting better slowly
Bipolar is an easier “safer” diagnosis. My psychiatrist still insists im bipolar 2 but i know I’m bpd. Im going to arm wrestle him for the right diagnosis.
@@tessakrumpeltree9563 You should definitely stick with your gut feelings. If you feel like you have BPD, it’s very likely that you’re right.
@@tessakrumpeltree9563I urge you to get a second opinion, or switch psychiatrists if that is at all possible for you. I fought my psychiatrist for years trying to get the right diagnosis. It took me finding a new psychiatrist to finally get it.
I've been in therapy since I was a teenager and no one has ever suggested BPD to me as a potential diagnosis. I'm 56. I just found your videos (RUclips kept "suggesting" them to me, so I finally clicked on one.)
I'm blown away.
You have described my entire life.
Just... WOW. 😳
I’m so glad that you find them helpful. I wish you all the best
I've put off watching your videos because I have a hard time accepting that i have BPD but after watching this I'm honestly grateful I watched it and will be checking out more. So thank you!
Similiar to my avoidant style. Haven't listened to Dr.Fox for half a year, still sruggling.
Fear not. He’s as gentle as you’ll run into.
Relationship with my girlfriend ended last week. A lot of symptoms of my BPD caused the breakup. Jealousy, constant paranoia, fear of being abandoned all the time. My clinginess, and overbearingness led to her feeling trapped, anxious and slightly scared at times. Through my own stress and the stress I was putting her under things were just getting too intense. We still have a lot of love for each other, and I desperately want to be with her. But I need to address these issues before we can give things another shot. It’s really tough because I’m aware of literally all of my issues, I’m just finding it so difficult to address them and change them. Bought your book, the BPD workbook this week and going to make a start on it tomorrow. I’m only 22 so I know I have lots of time to work on things, it’s just life is very tough right now, but thank you for these consistent uploads. With no access to DBT at the moment, these videos are incredibly helpful. Also, apologies for the essay.
You’re lucky I never got another shot or barely a goodbye. Don’t waste your second chance even if ur not together even if you barely talk just having them still in your life to the point their willing to talk to you at all means so much.
Thank you for consistently being here for all of us :) ❤
Yes!!!!! Thanks you!!!
I find being me is exhausting
I can relate. But love will find a way.
I have so many fears in my new relationship. I really like this guy I'm dating and I fear I will mess up 😥 I'm already keeping my options open. It's dreadful to feel these insecurities. I have to self talk all the time. Looking forward to this video. Just what I'm needing right now.
Healing isnt linear ❤ :) were all destined to make mistakes as we recover so please dont hold it against yourself if things dont go perfectly ❤. Have found learning about "fearful attachment" super helpful for working on "keeping options open" in relationships 🙏
@@Prudenthermit thank you
There is always some fear in new relationship, but it seems more with those who have BPD. It can be so hard because the thought of failure is in your head constantly, just a reminder. I would suggest, if you haven't already to seek out DBT, or watch a video by Marsha Linehan. It didn't cure me, but with a better awareness, It helped me to cope. Its ok to talk to yourself. That's where I find my best friend ❤️ A BPD friend
“you’re fearing you’ll mess up dating “.. i’m fearing ill having to date and form relationships.
The problem with me is that once I do accept the objective truth that people do love me, I have to accept the objective truth that my parents (and many others) have made me feel that I was a horrible person and I cannot accept that. It hurts too much
This is something I have been working on a lot. I'm aware and it makes it worse because it's frustrating. I go thru all the logic thinking about the situation and I ease the fears and anxiety. Or whoever the person is breaks that thinking by saying, "hi" and all the fear falls away in an instant. The next day (or even an hour later), all that comes back and I have to fight it again. It's just so exhausting to hear my head just go on and on. I scream inside my head for it to stop...
I started doing an exercise from the crappy childhood fairy's RUclips channel. I write out my fears and resentments. For the resentments, she says to write something like "I have resentment at so and so because I feel fear that..." After quickly writing this out, I tear up the paper or shred it. It's like taking out the garbage in your mind. It helps tone down the volume of my thoughts that otherwise go on and on and on. Distraction can help too if I do something that takes full concentration for awhile.
@@melb2734 Thank you for the suggestion, I'm always looking for more ideas to distract. I do journal, but never thought about throwing it away. It's a little it more complicated with me because I has been also diagnosed with Schizoaffective Disorder, PTSD and Major Depression. I hear voices often... I have as far back as I can remember. Not knowing anything about distracting myself as a child, I adapted my own coping skills. I wrote the words of a song on my school book cover and would read it over and over in class until my anxiety went away and I drew Ts in a certain pattern (i know that's weird) to calm myself. I've been on disability since 2007 (spent most of that year in the mental ward) and I can't afford professional help, so I have been learning from Dr. Fox and I finally found a peer to peer support forum that isn't full of complaints about relationships or anything toxic. I over share too, haha sorry. Thanks for your reply!
@@lookupyourredemptiondrawsn7285 RUclips won't let me put a link here, but if you search heartsupport wall, it should be the first choice. It's not specific to any type of mental illness, it's just peer to peer and safe.
@@mystrose333 You are very adaptive and resourceful! I love Dr. Fox's videos. Now Matters Now helped me too,, particularly the cold water/ice pack and the other TIP skills. It really helps me get out of the super emotional tunnel vision mindset.
Me Too! God Blessed Us All!💔💞💪🙏
I will never ever understand how someone who doesnt have bpd knows exactly how it is to have it. i appreciate this man so much
Thank you. It's from 2 decades of experience. It is my honor to be allowed to help those who need it. Be well.
I had the same thing in mind.. this shows what a brilliant doctor he is
thank you, i finally got over my fear of watching your videos! nothing against you. just scared of hearing about myself i guess?
It can be frightening.
Yes! Thank God! For Dr. Fox💞💪🙏
Your help is so appreciated. Years ago I was so afraid to learn to drive. I walked every where or took the bus. I became unsafe for me walk around our town because I almost got kidknapped by a man and his van. So to be safer it became necessary to learn to drive. When I finally got my driver's license I was so proud and had more freedom. I felt like I had climbed a mountain successfully. I did not know the depth of my BPD or that was a mental state of my depression. That was years later. Any way that experience has given emotional tools to work on dynamics that are needed to overcome or take up to overcome and find workable solutions. Your video's are so helpful. THANK YOU!
I have tears inside me that there's finally someone who's talking about this, in public, not just in therapy. Can't say it enough. Thank you Sir.
YES YES! ME TOO! MUCH MORE BLESSINGS! GOD HELP US! THANK YOU SO MUCH DR FOX! 💓 WORDS CAN NEVER EXPRESS HOW MUCH I APPRECIATE YOU! THANKS GOD!💋💞🌷💪🙏
I really needed this today. Had a lot of fears overpowering me. ❤️
That's ok. I've done that twice 💜
I'm not sure if you'll even see this in the sea of comments but as a person who has bpd thank you for humanizing the disorder. There are way to many negative connotations against us. I'm in college right now and I'll say it's been slightly challenging mentally for me. I want to be successful and help others who struggle with what I do.
You're welcome. You can be successful. Stay strong and stay the course!
Thank You God Blessed You!💞💪🙏
Thank you Dr Fox. Its nice to hear from someone who can help to sort all the many aspects of BPD. I went through DBT twice and can now recognize feelings of impulse. Awareness is so important. Yes, I still struggle with abandonment. I'm not cured, but have a better understanding.
@@maxwellmark8415 Hello
Yes! Thank You!💞💪🙏
Whenever I try to work with my fears, my bones hurt literally, it keeps me bouncing off back to a controlling yelling young adult!!! I admit it's tough.
C O N G R A T U L A T I O N S!!! DR. FOX!!! I am seeing your special platifum silver You Tube memento! Well-earned. I've grown so so much in this last couple of years in some large part thanks to your channel for giving me a way to heal. I feel so great compared to the me of just two and a half years ago.
Thanks
That was some GREAT advice... to keep texts and emails as 'Facts' that you're loved.
Glad it was helpful!
That family example was a real trigger. My family abused me emotionally for years. They emotionally guilted me again and again that I was responsible and put all the pressure on me to fix my parent's marriage as a fucking child (sorry for cursing, I am angry). My grandfather. I have a lot of anger still now that I am thinking about it. I am so glad my father is no more and yes saying all this on a public forum...because the major feeling i remember is when I think about it openly and unbiased is anger, frustration and no change and out of that.
I do want to resolve this someday
In therapy, so takes time
I feel very thankful for this video Dr.Fox. My fears are many and feel powerful. In my distorted thinking they are more powerful than me. They have become friends to keep me “safe” when the truth is the power I’ve given them keep me from a fulfilling life. To a large degree, the BPD has dissipated. I’m Unafraid of abandonment because God is always with me. But, I must begin to challenge the beliefs I have about my fears of not being accepted and of being unlovable and of being unsafe, that I will be harmed in some way while going about life. Thank you for the work you do. I am so grateful 😊
@@maxwellmark8415 Hello!
@@maxwellmark8415 yes, we are! Thank you so much for asking. How kind of you, Mark. Where do you live?
@@maxwellmark8415 I’m from Illinois originally. But, I’ve lived in many places. Mostly in Connecticut and Georgia. Now I’m staying with a friend in Columbus, Ohio. Getting a divorce and beginning a new chapter of my life. I just turned 60. Very exciting time for me. There are many things I’m looking forward to doing now that I’m better.
My fathers family is from Germany. I’ve never been to Munich but have been to Frankfurt. Germany is very beautiful, so is SanFrancisco. How are you this evening?
@@maxwellmark8415 We tried to work it out but it became irreconcilable. I feel very responsible in many ways.
@@maxwellmark8415 I’m sorry, that’s personal between my husband and myself.
I will need to re-listen to some of these videos. You have finally done what no counsellor of any designation from social worker, to therapist, to psychiatrist has ever done. You are talking about what is happening in our thought process and you are helping us gain an understanding of what is going on and what to do to address it. I am so tired of the old "what do you think you should do?" type question with no guidance or understanding offered. You are answering questions and addressing issues I have believed to be hopeless. I am excited for the possibility of some lasting inner relief and peace could be a real thing.
Your videos are informative and extremely helpful. Thank you for the content you share. I ordered your workbook...it should arrive today, and I can get started.
Love that you want to shine light...to our fears. Thank you!
Really the best topic
Thank you for your videos! They’re very helpful.
You are appreciated Dr.Fox. Thank you.
I've been having a terrible, terrible time with all of my fears piling up on each other, but just like always, there's already a Dr. Fox video telling me exactly what I need to hear. You're a godsend.
I am so glad that you find them helpful. I wish you all the best.
Yes Dr. Fox Is Amazing!Thank You! Blessings Always!💞💪🙏
Thank you for this 💕
Thanks for actually caring. We really appreciate it.
Always!
We love u dr fox can’t wait for the vid
Thank you so much. You have no idea how big of an impact you have over my chaotic bpd life.
Its hard to do this with some stuff when it seems there are facts that are proving that the fears are true and it feels like 50/50 and it tares me apart at times.
Thanks for sharing your knowledge and feelings on bpd ☄
Also i kept thinking there is a cat flap on your wall and i like room temp water.
I can always find some reasons to support the fear. It helps me to remember that everyone has issues with being rejected at times. No one is liked by everyone and everyone has flaws and good qualities. A lot of my "facts" that support my fears are mental health stigma. But, it takes courage to admit we're struggling mentally/emotionally and courage to work on getting better. That's an incredibly positive quality.
Never stop sharing your wisdom, insight, experience with us. So grateful to hear my troubles descibed so eloquently, with such compassion and normalisation across all your videos. To understand my tendency to distort the world and to be provided with insight and options to behave and respond differently is truely liberating. I feel so much more able to take BPD head on because of you Dr Fox
......thank you.
Yes! Amen!💞💪🙏 Blessings Always!
This video is excellent for family and friends of people with BPD.
Thanks 😊
Thank you from California, Dr. Fox.
God bless Texas, and Wolf brand chili.
This brought me back from the start of spiral, thanks Doc :)
Glad you enjoyed it!
Bingo. Thinking of my BPD reality as a lens allows me to change. Thanks! 🚂
Thankyou Dr for uploading your expertise to You Tube. It's given me a way to access good therapy. I live rural, and even if it was available, in my area, a quality therapist I couldn't afford anyway! First step was realising, I had this condition, and 2nd step was realising I can earn to controll my thoughts in a way that's stops the negative ones pushing in. I'm now aware most were maladaptive and such should not be fed. It's been enlightening, please keep up the great work, I'm so thankful to have access and Greetings from Australia.
I’m glad that you find it helpful. Have a great day and take care
Yes! Thank You Dr. Fox!💞💪🙏
You are awesome dr. Fox I follow you from brazil.
looking forward to this!! thanks!!
also ordered book! I, for one, am grateful for you!
Thank you for seeing me 💚😊
I've been an emotional arsonist but I'm becoming a firefighter and I will learn to be a fire inspector able to identify conditions that indicate the risk of fire.
Great analogy. Thanks
I can't afford therapy so I've been watching your videos. Thank you so much for making them. You have helped me so much.
I think a lot of people are in your same position and I certainly understand. I wish you all the best and I’m glad that you find the videos helpful.
For you to understand so many ppl don’t have access to mental health services and for you to act upon it by providing free PDF’s, videos and content, you are an angel and a miracle ppl have been hoping for. Thank you for all you do. Do you have a donation box or something?
I am so grateful for all of your content and expertise! I've been binge watching your videos since I found your account a couple weeks back. Your videos are the best educational content I've found since getting my BPD diagnosis. I also just purchased your book about complex BPD and can't wait to start it! Please never stop making these videos they mean so much to me.
Thankyou so much all the way from Australia 🇦🇺 so informative and helpful,really helps me understand all this craziness in my life.
Your sense of humor is the best. Ty
Thanks 😊
@@DrDanielFox and you’re easy on the eyes… respectfully! 🙂
Thanks for the video!
Mind blowing! Thank you!
Glad you liked it!
You are the best! So informative and helpful- thanks so much
You are so welcome!
Sometimes I think everyone has personality disorders.
It can certainly seem that way sometimes. Everyone has peccadillos, but tis when they are prolonged and destructive that they're part of the larger PD pictures.
@@DrDanielFox
That makes sense to me. Thanks for the feedback. ♥️
I think about that too sometimes. I feel like most people could relate at least a little bit to these videos. I don't personally like the term 'personality disorder.' It gives the impression there is something innately wrong with you and there's not. The problem has more to do with the way your regard and treat yourself, which ultimately affects your relationships, and is likely based on early relational trauma.
You're amazing dr fox thanks alot for your great effort
❤️
You’re welcome.
Dr Fox...
You are so kind that you have made so many videos for people explaining in detail the thought process...
That's so nice of you.
Hi! After looking up books on Amazon and coming across your workbook, I ordered it and then decided to look you up and that’s where I found your RUclips channel. Thanks for all you do. Your a miracle a lot of ppl have been hoping for.
You provide a lot of free content and was curious if you have a donation box or something. If you won’t accept money, do you have a charity you love that accepts donations?
You’re a angel
Yes In Deed!💞💪🙏
Really enjoy your way of explaining things. I have loved ones with BPD and feel that I'm part of their journey. Your advice really applies to everyone!
I’m glad you found the video helpful. Be well
Checking the facts!! Great skill from DBT that is so helpful and validating.
I couldn’t agree more. I think this really goes for people that are on social media or RUclips that claim to be doctors or have a certain level of skill but don’t transparently communicate their experience, including their education.
Very helpful information. Thank you 🙏😊
I'm so glad this video was helpful for you. I wish you well.
Works internally when alone. Not sufficient when after doing, come and face with a real life narcissist in in day to day. I have a narcissist SIL who threw tantrums, made a big drama and loudly shamed me in family gathering claiming " NOBODY in this world does not have an eyebrow plucker" just because I told her I don't have. No matter what facts I threw at her that's not logic, no numbers to prove, etc and everyone sided her.
Thank you Dr. Fox, for the videos and all you are doing to try and help those with personality disorders. Those with traits and those who live with and deal with us. I'm not sure if it's doubt, shame, self hate of blame. Yet at this time I don't feel like I can be helped. The BPD lens doesn't show lies, it shows the worst possibilities. It takes the truths of yesterday and instills a fear within that they will be the truths of tomorrow. The more often the BPD lens has been proven correct, the worse the fear.
For example, I have a fear of taking a shower in my apartment. Every time the water will either become Ice cold or scalding hot. It has happened so much that although there's the chance the water will be fine. It isn't enough to override that fear that is there. It's the same with the bpd lens I believe. When negative things continuously happen it becomes hard to see the positive. It doesn't mean that positive things don't exist, that I am not capable of having positive things. Yet I fear getting beaten down again. Feeling once again being unwanted, unloved undesirable and invisible. that prevents me from seeing those possibilities.
Still It is good to know that I can turn to your videos when I am strong enough to fight back against everything that is holding me beneath the water and not letting me up for air.
Thank you for your content! It helps so many! I'd love to see a video about how you learned so much about BPD :)
Thank you and great suggestion.
You're the best
Thanks for this insight
Glad it was helpful!
immediately want to say that this design of a thumbnail is more eye-catching and professional-looking (to me)! looks like an upgrade! hope this will attract more viewers to your channel!
really so good! the higher contrast, your face, which is bigger (so - more recognizable in the future), the white line around your photo - which makes this photo stand out. good easily readable font! 👍👏
Do you have a video on how to deal with the "talking stage" when you have BPD? The talking stage is hell for me. My fear of abandonment makes me self sabotage the whole thing usually and any implied signs of rejection throws me into the depression hole. I really don't know how to deal with that and it has caused me to not have a single meaningful relationship even thought I am 25.
Any luck? Me too
Thank you!
You’re welcome
wow congratulations. Poweful analisys.
Thanks
Hi Dr Fox, I'm curious how this would apply to commitment fears. I have an avoidant attachment style and so have pretty big commitment fears. I tried going along with your promts with that fear but feel stumped 🤷🏼♀️ any advice would be welcome! (love this video btw 😊)
Need 🙏👍💕 ty!!
Thank you.
I’m glad you found the video helpful and I wish you all the best.
I learned blame shame and guilt
Thank you Dr Fox...I have so many fears...the biggest ones are 1) leaving the house and going into public or social situations and 2) being alone or more specifically being separated from my husband
Hello Maxwell
Things are fine in my neck of the woods too
Maxwell...I reside in New Jersey, USA...the weather is beautiful...it's about 72 degrees and clear...beautiful evening breeze...where are you located?
Maxwell...covid19 is getting worse again...hope they don't put restrictions on elective procedures again...most employers have gone back to employees wearing masks again and hospitals are filling up...nice chatting with you but I must be on my way...football is about to start soon...Fly Eagles Fly 🏈🏈🏈
Can you talk also about phobias? Thank you for your help!!
thank you
You’re welcome
I really enjoy listening to you and I enjoy your videos. I wish I could effort your sessions as we can have a talk. Hopefully one day :)
Thank you. I wish you well.
loved the fridge story by the way haha
Glad you liked it!!
I wish i put this into practice before loosing the one person i actually felt save with. My fears became to overwhelming and threw me into full discarding,
I luv u Dr. Fox and i would buy u a proper mic if i could
I fear i will end up alone, and i been most of my life alone, and i will have no one to care for me
And nobody and nothing are my best ones
Help me with dealing with being cheated on and lied to about it !!! Please help dr.fox
What do you think about 'Peter-Pan' syndrome? (Adult-child) Is it rubbish? Is it BPD, BD or ADHD in disguise? How does one delineate ADHD from BPD or Peter-Pan?
Excellent question
so the thing is alot of these all over lap, thats why u shouldnt focus on labels but instead focus on healing, because all these things can over lap, bpd, narcissm, sctizo, adhd, they all come from a certain way ur mind has been trained from child hood and also how u train ur own mind, what u indugle in what type of thoughts, behaviors, defense mechanisms when u feel fear or anger e.t.c
@@frcomet5009 yes, I agree there is a lot of overlap in these symptoms, but there is a question of treatment and counseling too. ADHD obviously has medication protocol that is quite different from BP. And BPD may have no meds at all. I find it discouraging that individuals online promote themselves aligned to one of these disorders and do not even seek to disambiguate them from other similar disorders. It is like they are in the ‘business’ of flogging one or the other..it’s ‘their thing’ so to speak, and frankly I find it a bit disingenuous at times.
@@frcomet5009 thanks and yes, I will try to focus on healing…
The family crucible
The fear I suffer from is more of a profound sense of impending doom and the fear of fear itself. In this state of mind and emotion I don't trust myself and fear what I might do. I end up tormented over the ruminations of is the fear still there and will I succumb? I perseverate to the point that what to flee by doing something impulsive and lethal. I end up so paralyzed by the fear that I become very I'll and need Inpatient. No hyperventilating, some heart palpitations...mostly mental agony and torment.
I’m sorry you’re going through this. I hope some of the strategies I discuss are helpful. Be well.
I admit that my fear of rejection, abandonment, self hatred, difficulty in accepting myself as who I am, not knowing who am I, what do I want, what is my self worth, am I lovable or not?
Also I imagine a child like me when I was very young and he feels alone, abandoned and he cries so I also start to cry then, I want to know if its correct or it's just that I don't want to recover from BPD due to fears and anxiety and panic attacks that holds me and then I get depressed so much that I don't enjoy a single moment of life.
My therapist told me that your fears are main hurdle and I feels like she got harsh on me and now I am not liking her. What the hecks is this going on with me?
I have job but I am not enjoying and I feels like I am just not grateful to GOD. I don't deserve happiness either. I do want to get better but I have no hope now due to so many relapses along the way and so much anxiety. I think she is going to leave me. What should I do now?
She said you have no problems like other people have in their life and everything is going well but you just focus on negative and yes I tend to get negative and its about 10+ years I am doing this. Can anyone tell me what should I do?
Thank you for your comment and I think that how we perceive ourselves in the world certainly influences how we live in it. I understand that it’s not that easy just to think positive and magically have a positive life but I think that we can identify adaptive strategies to help us manage stressors as well as how we see the world. I wish you all the best.
God Blessed You Always! I Hope You're doing better now! 💞💪🙏
@@Christine-jg3hf thanks
My biggest fear:
-not finding a girlfriend again.
what facts do i have that they're valid?
-i haven't been able to have a girlfriend in the last 11 years.
what facts do i have that hey're invalid?
- i can't think in one right now. i don't have any security who tell me i can have a girlfriend again.
How do you see your fears now? More or less intense? What options do you have to
go forward fear free to increase the probability of positive outcomes?
- every year the fear is more intense. i don't know what option i have to go fear free, besides finding a girlfriend. the only way to stop having fear of not having a girlfriend is finding a girlfriend, which is unreachable at this point. I even went to Tinder, and i haven't had a match in almost 4 weeks. agh.
I literally stopped half way through when I realized he placed an assumption on love/care as a way to counter the fear/distortion of it... I stopped cause first I reacted by throwing the cell phone at the door in anger and in realizing the relief I hadn't destroyed my phone decided to post this instead and try to go to sleep instead. Yeah, I've got some serious anger issues.
Sorry that it enraged you, but you may want to look at that concept and how it tends to activate that intense feeling of anger. I wish you all the best.
@@DrDanielFox already had that addressed during various therapies, including DBT... It's just one of several reasons professionals believed it's best I accepted the reality of a life of isolation (their words, as they acknowledged uncertainty of how I could ever fit into society).
Get a mini fridge for the desk, Doc.
Being w narcissistic relationships do not help my fears
I was diagnosed with BPD DID well it change names to DID I was first diagnosed multiple personality disorder
I had a panic attack when you bought up the childhood part thinking about it. I’m the youngest of 9. Everything is so hard and if I had cancer I’d have a way out without doing the deed 😞
You should seek out treatment to explore this.
@@DrDanielFox yes I am, I had a mis diagnosis of bipolar or over 10 years, I went a saw a private clinical psychologist Dr Adrian Ashton on the Gold Coast Queensland Australia and within 2 sessions he had it was clearly BPD with depression and Anxiety. I was 39 at the time and have now been seeing him for 7 years, he said there is no quick fix and I’ve got a 40 years to unpack. I ping pong a lot between being hyper and hypo it’s exhausting.
Could you make a video on self hatred please?
I'd be interested to see a video comparing ODD and BPD. i was diagnosed with ODD when i was a kid and as an adult BPD. I wonder if it is related
Please Could you make a video of how people with BPD can move on from people e.g their FP
I suspect that’s really hard for a lot of them
what do i do if the fear was real? as in it happened and after that i fear the abandonment of my partner again. diagnosed with ptsd too
edit: i mean my partner stayed but the fear is so strong it affects both of us and our r/s really adversely. what do i do when the fear suddenly kicks in and i have a ptsd attack?
my fears are mostly concentrated around health anxiety, and the only facts I can get is to go thru lots of tests and imagery and exams, but my therapist says I shouldnt check but sit with my fear because checking will calm me down for a while and then spiral up. I dont know if health anxiety is common with BPD or it just happens to be a co-morbidity in my case. And thus should I check facts or just sit with uncertainty? Thank you
What if you are your loved ones trigger? I'm having a hard time letting go but also knowing I'm hurting her along the way
I was diagnosed with 'BPD/EUPD' Many years ago and again, well I started to see a psychiatrist again and she's 're-diagnosed' me with it, (if that's possible? I didn't tell her I'd already been diagnosed with it at a different hospital trust)
Anyway I don't understand why. I've been watching your videos and I just don't see it personally....
Dont hide it from her. Discuss it.
Everyone I been friends with have abandoned me after a short while finding out about my BPD. They used to contact me all the time and then shortly afterwards they don't contact me at all, without me doing anything to them at all. Why does this happen to me.
I just split with my ex because he doesn’t understand my fears and insisted on exacerbating them.
I think it’s important that we have a sense of understanding with our significant others. I think it’s important to explore these issues and discuss them not when we’re agitated and reactionary but when all is calm. I wish you well
Actually I was spiralling and it all just went too far. It had been coming a long time though and despite discussions about my insecurities there was no way to avoid them.
My ? Is even with out therapy after 10 years no matter what therapy or not u won’t have bpd anymore?? Will my 10 years been up years ago n I still have bpd help help
Where can I get the work sheet...