It’s so important to understand that even if something was misunderstood or forgotten (like the type of hotdogs) how someone responds matters. Forgetting something is accidental, making someone feel worthless for it is intentional.
Sorry I ran out of space there. I just wanted to conclude with the fact that they are all textbook, identical just like clones . Thank you for your wonderful insights
Oh dear I can relate to the narcissistic irrational rage 💔 narcissist are trouble minded trouble making miserable sad excuses for people, I so feel validated because of you ❤️🙏❤️ your videos are superb 🥰 you put all your experiences and heart in to your videos ❤
If the situation were in reverse, and it was the narcissist who went to get the hotdogs and you specifically told them beef, they would come back with kosher hotdogs, they wouldn't care and they would play the victim if you call them out for getting the wrong thing. I've seen this time and time again with the narcissists in my own family. They want very specific things and it's a massive disappointment if you don't get it, but when you want something, disappointing you is just fine and you should be grateful you got anything at all. The biggest sign of narcissists for me, is that they have to win or be right at all costs to an unreasonable level, even if the situation calls for agreeing to disagree, or being empathetic, or just plain letting it go, they can't.
Omg I have had this exact situation many many times!! Like ask for cold meds for an adult but get infant medicines because the narc could take time to look at the crap! When I said it wasn’t what I asked for oh then he got pissed and he didn’t want to go backkkkkkk! Yes this is a hidden sign!! Weaponized incompetence! It’s all a set up to get your reaction it’s their toxic kool aid. They love that drink!! Try to not react to them over nothing. Show them a straight nothing face. They will hate it!! Hahaha
Beef can be kosher. Pork usually is not. Regardless, if you want a happy mate, remember their preferences to the smallest detail and do not make them remind you. Certainly do not gaslight the when they call you out.
I relate so well to the pain you showed regarding the no win situation. I felt that way my whole life until last year at 51. The frustration of feeling constantly screwed over by life, with no explanation, is that kind of pain. Thank you for being part of the amazing community spreading desperately needed knowledge.
I've studied many channels in the narcissistic topic but I found yours the most practical and insightful for a regular person. You are not just repeating others channels or the literature but you seem really lived it through and understand this deeply.
I totally agree. "Mirror", the shorthand that my wife and I affectionately use for this channel, has such a gift of articulating , often with specific examples like the hot dog example,, the utter absurdity of life with a narcissist in ones midat. A situation that has so pained, and in some cases destroyed, very good, caring, empathetic people. I lived this into my 50s with my family of origin, I was the youngest child, dutiful child, and completely scapegoated and brainwashed within the cult. For decade after decade I was sure the problem was me, I could fill a room with all the self-help books where I tried to understand what was going on. After my mother died, and my siblings got their knives out, in their utter greed morally rudderless way, they actually leveraged family Court, to get the inheritance, before my mother's body was cold. Fortunately, their overreach was so absurd, that both local police and the court signaled very clearly to watch that they understood exactly what was going on. My spouse and I, over the course of several years, finally figured it out, with the help of people like "MIRROR" . However, a considerable amount of damage has been done, including a complete isolation and smearing of our 12 year old child, For those of you who might have happened upon this channel, and heard this hot dog story, and can't relate to it at all, consider yourself lucky because it is such a perfect example of the nonsense that SO MANY of us have lived. In cases like mine, for over a half century. There's no false advertising on this channel,"mirror" does a fabulous job of making sense out of the nonsense. Despite the absolutely absurd efforts to smear me, my wife and child in family Court, my biggest crime in the last 25 years remains 3 overdue library books and one promptly paid parking ticket back in 2003. Thank you
Your hot dog story is relatable. The exact same situation happened with my narc mother years ago when I apparently bought the wrong rice. She said and reacted the exact same way you're describing. Wow.
Oh my word, your visit to the supermarket to get hotdogs resonated with me. I was told not to get crisps etc for the weekend. I think you call them chips. So I got back with the shopping and he started yelling at me for not getting crisps. I was selfish , etc etc. there are no answers to these situations. Now he could have txted me to say he changed his mind. The situation with the dog sounds like con concentration camp like control. It’s a form of sadism . When you start crying they smirk with that evil look in their darkened eyes. It’s a no win situation. What really strikes me is how i
8:49 Earned bias and rage aside, I believe this is due to how as humans we operate mostly thru, and recognize patterns, as well as deliberate psychological conditioning. If your former boyfriend had a pattern of conduct where he deliberately set you up to be used as a psychological punching bag, it is reasonable to assume that when you are suddenly hit psychologically in a similar way, that this is the conclusion you would jump to, because of the pattern and deliberate psychological conditioning. Others not experiencing this would, of course not understand.
Mamn, let me provide the closure. The fact you even feel this way about the "hot dog" incident. There's no doubt in my mind you were gaslit about them. Thank goodness you're not in that situation again with that person. They have a major character flaw
Oh girl - you coulda brought home hot dogs made of gold! The narc would still be mad. 😂 Because you made a choice they didn’t control. Which hot dog to get. Shoulda been cleared with them 1st. Any decision you make for yourself must be wrong - to them - because they are not in control of that. That is threatening to them. That feels threatening to them.
that's the thing is that they expect you to read their mind. somehow they shouldn't HAVE to tell you what kind of hotdogs to get because you should just know that info if you cared about them.
If he asked for gold hot dogs and you brought them, he would be happy. If you brought something else, he would probably be upset. Why is so hard for narcs to accommodate simple request?
Sorry you had to go through all of that, but you should have known better...I mean c'mon!! There's no hope left in this world. On a serious note, one of these creatures in my area works as a Registered Early Childhood Educator at my daughter's former elementary school. I told them about her in the end, but it seemed like her issues were irrelevant to her job there. They did tell her not to say anything to my girl if they see each other, as she was smearing me and ostracizing us both privately. She has two daughters, who she keeps on a short leash and her husband hates her and is hopeless, so she causes chaos and isolation wherever she turns. I was cold when I told them these issues at that school. It surprised me at the time. It's probably like others say, you lose a narcissist, no loss at all. Honestly, schools pretend to care about students being kind to each other, yet they hire twisted people who are major bullies. It's like The Twilight Zone.
I was in a relationship with a narcissist man for 10 months. I recently read all my old messages between me and him. And oh my God, it was so toxic. He use to accuse me of things which he was in fact doing himself. He was controlling me. They are evil. The reason I kept the messages is in case any of our “mutual” friends ever accuse me of being the bad one.
Yes I had that too. 9 years here. He accused me of - liking someone at work (clearly he did) being negative and ungrateful (more projection). And he would argue endlessly for a word I would use say “God awful” (all while not telling me lots!!
As a gang stalking target, you learn that even if you have that recording, and it proves you're the targeted victim, not the uncaught criminal you're obviously accused of being, nobody really cares. What they do care about is obvious and evil.
The narcissist needs to maintain the superior position.
It’s so important to understand that even if something was misunderstood or forgotten (like the type of hotdogs) how someone responds matters. Forgetting something is accidental, making someone feel worthless for it is intentional.
Remembering details of your mate is intentional, "forgetting" is narcissistic.
You should have thousands of viewers and millions of subscribers....
Sorry I ran out of space there. I just wanted to conclude with the fact that they are all textbook, identical just like clones . Thank you for your wonderful insights
The "back flips" are emotional and mental blackmail....the well oiled hamster wheel. Great video!
Oh dear I can relate to the narcissistic irrational rage 💔 narcissist are trouble minded trouble making miserable sad excuses for people, I so feel validated because of you ❤️🙏❤️ your videos are superb 🥰 you put all your experiences and heart in to your videos ❤
If the situation were in reverse, and it was the narcissist who went to get the hotdogs and you specifically told them beef, they would come back with kosher hotdogs, they wouldn't care and they would play the victim if you call them out for getting the wrong thing. I've seen this time and time again with the narcissists in my own family. They want very specific things and it's a massive disappointment if you don't get it, but when you want something, disappointing you is just fine and you should be grateful you got anything at all. The biggest sign of narcissists for me, is that they have to win or be right at all costs to an unreasonable level, even if the situation calls for agreeing to disagree, or being empathetic, or just plain letting it go, they can't.
They’d get it wrong purposely, daring you to mention it so they could rage.
Omg I have had this exact situation many many times!! Like ask for cold meds for an adult but get infant medicines because the narc could take time to look at the crap! When I said it wasn’t what I asked for oh then he got pissed and he didn’t want to go backkkkkkk! Yes this is a hidden sign!! Weaponized incompetence! It’s all a set up to get your reaction it’s their toxic kool aid. They love that drink!! Try to not react to them over nothing. Show them a straight nothing face. They will hate it!! Hahaha
@@chilloften good point.
Beef can be kosher. Pork usually is not. Regardless, if you want a happy mate, remember their preferences to the smallest detail and do not make them remind you. Certainly do not gaslight the when they call you out.
I relate so well to the pain you showed regarding the no win situation. I felt that way my whole life until last year at 51. The frustration of feeling constantly screwed over by life, with no explanation, is that kind of pain. Thank you for being part of the amazing community spreading desperately needed knowledge.
I've studied many channels in the narcissistic topic but I found yours the most practical and insightful for a regular person. You are not just repeating others channels or the literature but you seem really lived it through and understand this deeply.
I totally agree. "Mirror", the shorthand that my wife and I affectionately use for this channel, has such a gift of articulating , often with specific examples like the hot dog example,, the utter absurdity of life with a narcissist in ones midat. A situation that has so pained, and in some cases destroyed, very good, caring, empathetic people.
I lived this into my 50s with my family of origin, I was the youngest child, dutiful child, and completely scapegoated and brainwashed within the cult.
For decade after decade I was sure the problem was me, I could fill a room with all the self-help books where I tried to understand what was going on.
After my mother died, and my siblings got their knives out, in their utter greed morally rudderless way, they actually leveraged family Court, to get the inheritance, before my mother's body was cold.
Fortunately, their overreach was so absurd, that both local police and the court signaled very clearly to watch that they understood exactly what was going on.
My spouse and I, over the course of several years, finally figured it out, with the help of people like "MIRROR" . However, a considerable amount of damage has been done, including a complete isolation and smearing of our 12 year old child,
For those of you who might have happened upon this channel, and heard this hot dog story, and can't relate to it at all, consider yourself lucky because it is such a perfect example of the nonsense that SO MANY of us have lived. In cases like mine, for over a half century.
There's no false advertising on this channel,"mirror" does a fabulous job of making sense out of the nonsense.
Despite the absolutely absurd efforts to smear me, my wife and child in family Court, my biggest crime in the last 25 years remains 3 overdue library books and one promptly paid parking ticket back in 2003.
Thank you
Your hot dog story is relatable. The exact same situation happened with my narc mother years ago when I apparently bought the wrong rice. She said and reacted the exact same way you're describing. Wow.
You’re so spot on! They want you to fail to make you feel like you’re worthless
Thank you. Your videos help those of us who are struggling or have struggled with emotional manipulation, and for men being emasculated.
Oh my word, your visit to the supermarket to get hotdogs resonated with me. I was told not to get crisps etc for the weekend. I think you call them chips. So I got back with the shopping and he started yelling at me for not getting crisps. I was selfish , etc etc. there are no answers to these situations. Now he could have txted me to say he changed his mind. The situation with the dog sounds like con concentration camp like control. It’s a form of sadism . When you start crying they smirk with that evil look in their darkened eyes. It’s a no win situation. What really strikes me is how i
8:49 Earned bias and rage aside, I believe this is due to how as humans we operate mostly thru, and recognize patterns, as well as deliberate psychological conditioning. If your former boyfriend had a pattern of conduct where he deliberately set you up to be used as a psychological punching bag, it is reasonable to assume that when you are suddenly hit psychologically in a similar way, that this is the conclusion you would jump to, because of the pattern and deliberate psychological conditioning. Others not experiencing this would, of course not understand.
When you talk sense to a narcissist, they try to make nonsense out of it. 😅 huh?
Mamn, let me provide the closure. The fact you even feel this way about the "hot dog" incident. There's no doubt in my mind you were gaslit about them. Thank goodness you're not in that situation again with that person. They have a major character flaw
I HIKED wrong. Completely understood
Oh girl - you coulda brought home hot dogs made of gold! The narc would still be mad. 😂 Because you made a choice they didn’t control. Which hot dog to get. Shoulda been cleared with them 1st. Any decision you make for yourself must be wrong - to them - because they are not in control of that. That is threatening to them. That feels threatening to them.
that's the thing is that they expect you to read their mind. somehow they shouldn't HAVE to tell you what kind of hotdogs to get because you should just know that info if you cared about them.
If he asked for gold hot dogs and you brought them, he would be happy. If you brought something else, he would probably be upset. Why is so hard for narcs to accommodate simple request?
Sorry you had to go through all of that, but you should have known better...I mean c'mon!! There's no hope left in this world.
On a serious note, one of these creatures in my area works as a Registered Early Childhood Educator at my daughter's former elementary school. I told them about her in the end, but it seemed like her issues were irrelevant to her job there. They did tell her not to say anything to my girl if they see each other, as she was smearing me and ostracizing us both privately. She has two daughters, who she keeps on a short leash and her husband hates her and is hopeless, so she causes chaos and isolation wherever she turns. I was cold when I told them these issues at that school. It surprised me at the time. It's probably like others say, you lose a narcissist, no loss at all.
Honestly, schools pretend to care about students being kind to each other, yet they hire twisted people who are major bullies. It's like The Twilight Zone.
I was in a relationship with a narcissist man for 10 months. I recently read all my old messages between me and him. And oh my God, it was so toxic. He use to accuse me of things which he was in fact doing himself. He was controlling me. They are evil. The reason I kept the messages is in case any of our “mutual” friends ever accuse me of being the bad one.
Yes I had that too. 9 years here. He accused me of - liking someone at work (clearly he did) being negative and ungrateful (more projection). And he would argue endlessly for a word I would use say “God awful” (all while not telling me lots!!
As a gang stalking target, you learn that even if you have that recording, and it proves you're the targeted victim, not the uncaught criminal you're obviously accused of being, nobody really cares. What they do care about is obvious and evil.