I left my narc “adult “ daughter alone for a month. When I called her then, she exploded at me in one of the worst vitriolic tirades I’ve ever been subject to. Nice daughter 🧙♀️
Yeah I noticed that. They promise to change and be better and when you bring it up they’ll straight up say they never said that. Being with them is frustrating, mentally/physically/spiritually draining and just plain weird in a bad way.
This woman has a very good grasp of narcissism and narcissistic people. She explains narcissistic behavior and phenomena simply and clearly. She is excellent.
"I never meant to hurt you" Yes. Yes they DID mean to hurt you. They did. They meant to hurt you. That was the goal. That was the mission. To hurt YOU.
Wow I heard this, along with “I love you, I care about you” at the discard at 27 yrs of marriage. He actually never uttered the words “I love you” and at 25 yrs of marriage told me that to say that during sex was “trite”. I feel stupid for getting involved let alone giving him the best years of my life.
@@JoePAcalaughsI agree, they know what their doing. I've heard theories that narcissists don't see other people as people with feelings of their own. Really? How come they go about hurting them and then smile afterwards if they don't understand you have feelings. In any event, if it's conscious or not, does it really matter? The end result is the same for you whether it's intentional or not
The person you fell in love with never existed!! In facing this reality you will begin to heal. The narcissist has no true identity. God bless you all on this journey
I strongly disagree. Narcissists are consummate liars and manipulators, and they are predatory with deliberate intent. Our ancestors around 10,000 years ago had to know what predators looked like, and more importantly what the indicators of the presence of a deadly predator were. Malignant narcissists are predators/parasites, and one can learn to spot and avoid them the same way our ancestors learned to spot predators.
They always down play their wrongs. When they do something you need to get over it and it was never that bad. They are so entitled they believe they can speak for your pain. They are pathetic!
28:37 they don’t even think of you as a human being. You are an appliance, something to be used for their convenience and then replaced if you stop working. With the same level of thought and emotion as throwing away a toaster that is broken and buying another one off the shelf.
You're right, taking them back is telling them that there are no real consequences for what they've done. They get worse if you go back and they aren't satisfied or done with you until they end up kicking you to the curb. Thank you! ⚘️☀️🙏🏻
Never let them back. The chances are that you don't know what had been going on behind your back at the hands of someone who is a morally redundant, dangerous and manipulative liar. That's what I'm only now starting to find out fours YEARS after the end of my marriage to a woman who on the surface was smart, sweet and innocent but also a typical poor me, damsel in distress. I had no idea. Love Marshall!
Narcissistic person “We were mad at each other “ That was his perspective of me cutting him off for some extreme disrespect! We were mad at each other ? 😳😳😳
30:57 you are holding on to a trauma bond. There is no relationship. You are are on full blown dopamine, oxytocin withdrawal. This is harder to quit than a heroin addiction! Please remember that the kinds of abuse they use on you are actually the exact same ones used on prisoners of war. So show yourself some grace. Find out who YOU are. You are not meant to live like this! Put yourself first. And if it feels difficult putting yourself first. That is all the more proof that you have been abused. Set boundaries for EVERYONE in your life.
The "sorry, not sorry" story. Fifteen years ago, I made the mistake of accepting the I'm sorry story. I looked back at the "apology" email. He wrote he was sorry and that he behaved badly, BUT I was not doing things that make him feel like he was loved. It was the faux apology by blaming me. Unfortunately, I gave him a second chance because I didn't want to be the one to end his family. I believed he had seen the light of his bad behavior and assumed he would change. Four years ago, I ended our 35 year marriage because he never changed and had continued the same bad behavior. In fact it was deja vu. Great video!
I cannot tell you how much you are helping me. You are such a blessing to all the people who are being abused in this toxicity. I have listened to a lot of professionals and you say you aren’t a professional but you explain things in such a way that shines light in my darkness. I have been in a fog of second guessing, thinking I don’t forgive enough, wondering if I am mean to say finally after almost 30 years that I can’t do this anymore. My soul is broken. Your video on how Narcissists see you was such a revelation to me. It cleared some of my fog and helped to see. Bless you, God Bless you is all I can say. Please keep doing these videos, you have a gift of explaining things and I don’t even know if that addresses it enough. You are just a blessing ❤
Have you done any videos on why narcissists come back after years? You haven't had any contact with them in 10 years or more and all of a sudden they're trying to reconnect with you, why do they come back after years, are they hoping you'll just have forgotten everything they did?
We are all supply. They can hoover for one reason only. You are supply. They're always searching for someone, anyone, anytime, any place anywhere. #GREYROCK #BLOCK #DELETE #NOCONTACT #IMDONE 😅
Mine ex came back after 5 yrs. But what I didn't know was that he got a child with another. At that point I suppose that she discarded him. I was only old supply.
They never went through what's called "individuation". They constantly hope to reenact the screwed up relationship with their mother so they can get it right this time. When you become a target, you are a target forever. Even when they go to a new target, you are in the back of their mind.
@redpilljesus I agree, he had a creepy obsession with his deceased mother. I am told he picked me to act out the mother/child relationship with. Barf. I couldn't get out of there fast enough. He has since hoovered me 3x. I got out in Feb. He took crazy to whole new level. I took repentance to a new level and may stay in isolation for the duration. #greyrock is the next best thing to The Rock! Gby.
This is so true. I love the term different realities. It helps me to understand how they function. I love Marshall. I have two little buddies Basil and Sage! Thank you for this video 🙏🙏🙏
You are wonderful and such a beautiful person, I appreciate all you have shared. I've been through a lot , it's amazing how it all comes down me and recognize my growing up background. It takes so long to get here, to admit personally how we all live in a certain amount of denial, or self coping, or self protection...this is a huge topic and needs to be respected, it has become a buzz word now days.... thanks for all your doing
You are so awesome, sooo insightful, and articulate!!! you are so helpful, I wonder if you would ever collaborate with Dr. Ramani? You should get 1000 Nobel prizes! Thank you so much !!!! 👍❤❤❤
Giving a narcissist a second chance is giving them an opportunity to seek revenge on you for causing them a narcissistic injury when you left. Their hate for you will shift from contempt to revenge, which is then way greater than before. Save yourself and don't do it! 🙀🙀
Mine cheated and literally said to my face that it was my fault bc he’s been waiting for me to be women enough to leave him.. and that he was just using me for my energy
Thank you for this video ❤ this subject matter really gets to me because I have had so many remorseful breakups with narcissist, but I always knew if this man had treated me right, hell even treated me human i would never have broken up with him, I'm not a flighty person who takes relationships mildly, I only enter into passionate loyal relationships, not to mention I am a good character analyst. I love your kitty 🐈❤😇
Even if they say what they’re sorry for it still doesn’t matter because mine sent Texas saying why which made sense because it looks like they’re getting it, but he would do the same thing over and over again so even if they’re apologies seems sincere after you’ve devastated somebody’s life Yeah I will forgive you, but I will never trust you and I will never let you back again because you’re a dangerous person with paying for the kitty all over town you could’ve literally killed me! And if you didn’t wanna be with me, I gave him numerous chances to get out of it. If you wanted an open relationship even I gave you chances cause it was sexless but little did I know everything you were doing behind my back! He’s incapable of any kind of true intimacy! You had your shot with me 25 years! I told him please don’t do this to anybody else. We have three kids and he did all this. You could be sorry you but everything you did traumatizes me and I want you know where near me, Mr. Jekyll and Hyde! Ask God for forgiveness and be different! I do forgive but you had thousands of chances and now your chances are over move along little doggy
When somebody does the same thing over and over and breaks the trust, it’s pretty much over because without trust in a relationship and a place of safety there is nothing left
And if they go to Therapist, they snowball the Therapist! I try couples therapy and he look like the one that was more likable than me and I wanted to smack the Therapist in the in the face because he had her bamboozled also! she’d say he’s trying you have to remember that he’s Trump not acknowledging the horrendous things that he did and it’s hard to trust anything because he would do the Jekyll and high thing throughout and would try and go right back to the same behavior
I've watched hundreds of videos in the past few months and this is by far the best. This is my second time listening to this one, my first one of yours. Looking forward to them all! Thank you! Amazing help in such a time of deep confusion and betrayal 😢❤
Btw before I found out what he was doing, he told me if he ever caught me cheating. He would kill the other person and then he would go to jail and I would have nobody.! And this man was doing the most, financially fucked over his family always behind and bills all his money went to his tricks
To be self deceived is the greatest deception. These kinds of people are the hardest to help because they don’t perceive that there is anything wrong with them and they don’t believe they have done anything wrong.# wrong away don’t waste time, energy and effort on people who don’t have your best interest at heart.💎💎💎💎🦅🦅🦅🦅🌎🌎🌎🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥
I'll give a for instance you spent a summer with a girlfriend at 16 their was something weird but you put down to age , now 15 years later they turn up looking awful 😊
They DO NOT get better. They only get worse as they age.
Don't waste your life on these people.
I gave him another chance. He got 10x worse in less than 3 weeks. It’s a psychological whiplash. You can’t come back from that.
I left my narc “adult “ daughter alone for a month. When I called her then, she exploded at me in one of the worst vitriolic tirades I’ve ever been subject to. Nice daughter 🧙♀️
Yeah I noticed that. They promise to change and be better and when you bring it up they’ll straight up say they never said that. Being with them is frustrating, mentally/physically/spiritually draining and just plain weird in a bad way.
This woman has a very good grasp of narcissism and narcissistic people. She explains narcissistic behavior and phenomena simply and clearly. She is excellent.
@@christinakuczora4862and she makes her bed nicely
“I never said that!”
“I didn’t say that!”
"I never meant to hurt you"
Yes. Yes they DID mean to hurt you. They did. They meant to hurt you. That was the goal. That was the mission. To hurt YOU.
Wow I heard this, along with “I love you, I care about you” at the discard at 27 yrs of marriage. He actually never uttered the words “I love you” and at 25 yrs of marriage told me that to say that during sex was “trite”. I feel stupid for getting involved let alone giving him the best years of my life.
I got "I'm not hurting you" 😂
@@JoePAcalaughsI agree, they know what their doing. I've heard theories that narcissists don't see other people as people with feelings of their own. Really? How come they go about hurting them and then smile afterwards if they don't understand you have feelings.
In any event, if it's conscious or not, does it really matter? The end result is the same for you whether it's intentional or not
The person you fell in love with never existed!! In facing this reality you will begin to heal. The narcissist has no true identity. God bless you all on this journey
“Wise Quote of the Day:
"Don't blame a clown for acting like a clown. Blame yourself for going to the circus." -unknown 😁🥵🤔
This is what I’m struggling with. I am beating myself up for getting involved with a narc. I distrust my judgement and perceptions.
I strongly disagree. Narcissists are consummate liars and manipulators, and they are predatory with deliberate intent.
Our ancestors around 10,000 years ago had to know what predators looked like, and more importantly what the indicators of the presence of a deadly predator were. Malignant narcissists are predators/parasites, and one can learn to spot and avoid them the same way our ancestors learned to spot predators.
Sometimes you get born within the circus and the clowns never leave you alone 🤡
My absolute fav statement:
It wasn’t that bad, because if it was you wouldn’t still be here!
Her apology, " I only slept with 2 guys". My jaw hit the floor.
“Why are you worried about some 22 year old guy? It’s only sex.”
Hurt so bad at the time . Now I just laugh .
Damn bro 😢
They always down play their wrongs. When they do something you need to get over it and it was never that bad. They are so entitled they believe they can speak for your pain. They are pathetic!
I'm so sorry. The pain these folks can cause is unbelievable
28:37 they don’t even think of you as a human being. You are an appliance, something to be used for their convenience and then replaced if you stop working. With the same level of thought and emotion as throwing away a toaster that is broken and buying another one off the shelf.
Two weeks after we got engaged: “she’s the one that made a pass at me, I didnt go looking for it”
"I'm not doing anything wrong". "I only did it once and I didn't mean it".
Yep! Heard that one!
On the 29th of May I will be celebrating 2 years without that demon! Life only gets sweeter! 🌷🍇🥂🍾💃🏾❤💕🏖❤️
You're right, taking them back is telling them that there are no real consequences for what they've done. They get worse if you go back and they aren't satisfied or done with you until they end up kicking you to the curb.
Thank you! ⚘️☀️🙏🏻
Never let them back. The chances are that you don't know what had been going on behind your back at the hands of someone who is a morally redundant, dangerous and manipulative liar. That's what I'm only now starting to find out fours YEARS after the end of my marriage to a woman who on the surface was smart, sweet and innocent but also a typical poor me, damsel in distress. I had no idea.
Love Marshall!
Narcissistic person
“We were mad at each other “
That was his perspective of me cutting him off for some extreme disrespect! We were mad at each other ? 😳😳😳
The depth and breadth of this lady's knowledge is as impressive as her ability to impart this knowledge.
She is phenomenal! ❤️👍
"I never said that, i didn't say it that way."
One of the best videos I ever watched explaining how the narc views you after taking them back
Once you accept them back
It gets worse
Unfortunately
30:57 you are holding on to a trauma bond. There is no relationship. You are are on full blown dopamine, oxytocin withdrawal. This is harder to quit than a heroin addiction! Please remember that the kinds of abuse they use on you are actually the exact same ones used on prisoners of war. So show yourself some grace. Find out who YOU are. You are not meant to live like this! Put yourself first. And if it feels difficult putting yourself first. That is all the more proof that you have been abused. Set boundaries for EVERYONE in your life.
Narcissists are insincere in their apologies. They don't respect you, your feelings, your opinions or your property.
I follow many channells about toxicity and narcissism, and i find yours to be super informative and proffesional. Thank u
Yes - this woman is excellent in explaining narcissism and narcissistic behavior.
I am 4 wks into breaking up 24 years and was agonizing over this. I am SO grateful for your words. God Bless you.
The "sorry, not sorry" story. Fifteen years ago, I made the mistake of accepting the I'm sorry story. I looked back at the "apology" email. He wrote he was sorry and that he behaved badly, BUT I was not doing things that make him feel like he was loved. It was the faux apology by blaming me. Unfortunately, I gave him a second chance because I didn't want to be the one to end his family. I believed he had seen the light of his bad behavior and assumed he would change. Four years ago, I ended our 35 year marriage because he never changed and had continued the same bad behavior. In fact it was deja vu. Great video!
Congratulations on leaving! I am sure your life changed--for the better.
ThankYou! Bless all of us who have had to deal with this horror we’ve been put through in our lives by these monsters 💔
Marshall!
A handsome boy!
I cannot tell you how much you are helping me. You are such a blessing to all the people who are being abused in this toxicity. I have listened to a lot of professionals and you say you aren’t a professional but you explain things in such a way that shines light in my darkness. I have been in a fog of second guessing, thinking I don’t forgive enough, wondering if I am mean to say finally after almost 30 years that I can’t do this anymore. My soul is broken. Your video on how Narcissists see you was such a revelation to me. It cleared some of my fog and helped to see. Bless you, God Bless you is all I can say. Please keep doing these videos, you have a gift of explaining things and I don’t even know if that addresses it enough. You are just a blessing ❤
Spread this information far and wide
I never said that, and I didn’t say that, are the 2 standard answers to their audience. 🤪
Have you done any videos on why narcissists come back after years? You haven't had any contact with them in 10 years or more and all of a sudden they're trying to reconnect with you, why do they come back after years, are they hoping you'll just have forgotten everything they did?
We are all supply. They can hoover for one reason only. You are supply. They're always searching for someone, anyone, anytime, any place anywhere.
#GREYROCK
#BLOCK
#DELETE
#NOCONTACT
#IMDONE 😅
Mine ex came back after 5 yrs. But what I didn't know was that he got a child with another. At that point I suppose that she discarded him. I was only old supply.
They never went through what's called "individuation". They constantly hope to reenact the screwed up relationship with their mother so they can get it right this time. When you become a target, you are a target forever. Even when they go to a new target, you are in the back of their mind.
@redpilljesus
I agree, he had a creepy obsession with his deceased mother. I am told he picked me to act out the mother/child relationship with. Barf. I couldn't get out of there fast enough. He has since hoovered me 3x. I got out in Feb. He took crazy to whole new level. I took repentance to a new level and may stay in isolation for the duration. #greyrock is the next best thing to The Rock! Gby.
@@Tatjana.B same. I am old supply too, now. He's hoovered me 3x, so I figure he's made 3 more victims at least. They are such a waste of space.
I like how you get to the point! One of the few channels on narcs I always go to immediately when a new video pops up.
This is so true. I love the term different realities. It helps me to understand how they function. I love Marshall. I have two little buddies Basil and Sage! Thank you for this video 🙏🙏🙏
You are wonderful and such a beautiful person, I appreciate all you have shared. I've been through a lot , it's amazing how it all comes down me and recognize my growing up background. It takes so long to get here, to admit personally how we all live in a certain amount of denial, or self coping, or self protection...this is a huge topic and needs to be respected, it has become a buzz word now days.... thanks for all your doing
You are so awesome, sooo insightful, and articulate!!! you are so helpful, I wonder if you would ever collaborate with Dr. Ramani? You should get 1000 Nobel prizes! Thank you so much !!!! 👍❤❤❤
Giving a narcissist a second chance is giving them an opportunity to seek revenge on you for causing them a narcissistic injury when you left. Their hate for you will shift from contempt to revenge, which is then way greater than before. Save yourself and don't do it! 🙀🙀
They are happy watching you suffer and struggle. They want nothing more than to know that they are the power behind your pain.
Mine cheated and literally said to my face that it was my fault bc he’s been waiting for me to be women enough to leave him.. and that he was just using me for my energy
I’m sorry, you deserve better. If he won’t apologize for that I will! I hope you have moved on.
Thank you for this video ❤ this subject matter really gets to me because I have had so many remorseful breakups with narcissist, but I always knew if this man had treated me right, hell even treated me human i would never have broken up with him, I'm not a flighty person who takes relationships mildly, I only enter into passionate loyal relationships, not to mention I am a good character analyst. I love your kitty 🐈❤😇
Hey 🐈😺!
This is so helpful. To know they have a different reality!! I really appreciate your videos!
Even if they say what they’re sorry for it still doesn’t matter because mine sent Texas saying why which made sense because it looks like they’re getting it, but he would do the same thing over and over again so even if they’re apologies seems sincere after you’ve devastated somebody’s life Yeah I will forgive you, but I will never trust you and I will never let you back again because you’re a dangerous person with paying for the kitty all over town you could’ve literally killed me! And if you didn’t wanna be with me, I gave him numerous chances to get out of it. If you wanted an open relationship even I gave you chances cause it was sexless but little did I know everything you were doing behind my back! He’s incapable of any kind of true intimacy! You had your shot with me 25 years! I told him please don’t do this to anybody else. We have three kids and he did all this. You could be sorry you but everything you did traumatizes me and I want you know where near me, Mr. Jekyll and Hyde! Ask God for forgiveness and be different! I do forgive but you had thousands of chances and now your chances are over move along little doggy
When somebody does the same thing over and over and breaks the trust, it’s pretty much over because without trust in a relationship and a place of safety there is nothing left
And if they go to Therapist, they snowball the Therapist! I try couples therapy and he look like the one that was more likable than me and I wanted to smack the Therapist in the in the face because he had her bamboozled also! she’d say he’s trying you have to remember that he’s Trump not acknowledging the horrendous things that he did and it’s hard to trust anything because he would do the Jekyll and high thing throughout and would try and go right back to the same behavior
I've watched hundreds of videos in the past few months and this is by far the best. This is my second time listening to this one, my first one of yours. Looking forward to them all! Thank you! Amazing help in such a time of deep confusion and betrayal 😢❤
Thank you, I’ve been watching your videos and appreciate you taking the time to film and post these so I can heal! 😊
Marshall is gorgeous.😊❤🎉
Btw before I found out what he was doing, he told me if he ever caught me cheating. He would kill the other person and then he would go to jail and I would have nobody.! And this man was doing the most, financially fucked over his family always behind and bills all his money went to his tricks
You are so good at this ❤
Because it is nitz how they can be so nice when they want to
To be self deceived is the greatest deception. These kinds of people are the hardest to help because they don’t perceive that there is anything wrong with them and they don’t believe they have done anything wrong.# wrong away don’t waste time, energy and effort on people who don’t have your best interest at heart.💎💎💎💎🦅🦅🦅🦅🌎🌎🌎🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥
❤❤❤❤❤
Kitty ❤
I'll give a for instance you spent a summer with a girlfriend at 16 their was something weird but you put down to age , now 15 years later they turn up looking awful 😊
👍❤️😻
3 X
and then i call her on the how many men she has and i am the bad guy lol got rid of her tho