Singapore: The mums asking suicidal teens to 'please stay' - BBC News
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- Опубликовано: 28 апр 2024
- Doreen and Elaine helped to set up the PleaseStay movement in Singapore, addressing youth mental health and suicide.
They and the rest of the group's members share a unique story: they are all mothers whose children took their own lives.
The two women explain why suicide and depression remain taboo subjects in Singapore, which has seen an increase in suicides among male teenagers and boys in recent years.
Video by Tessa Wong.
If you, or someone you know, have been affected by mental health issues, the following resources may be able to help:
UK: Information and Support on Mental health
www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/arti...
Singapore: Samaritans of Singapore 1800-221-4444
Elsewhere in the world: Befrienders International
befrienders.org/
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i am 60 . i have been suicidal many times in my life. including right now. my mom killed herself, my sister, my uncle...too many to list. i stay for the people i love and i am thankful i stayed when i was 16 and first seriously planned before being stopped. i am thankful because I KNOW THE DESPAIR PASSES. please, HOLD ON. it WILL pass
That's a pretty funny story. This is the first time I laughed today. I'm sorry you have such a shitty life
Draw near to God dear Susan and he will surely heal you and comfort you call out to him and he will take away all pain from you Jesus died on the cross for you so you don’t have to go through all that pain and anguish
@@Tyler-zg6ss tried that. seems to me folks who want me to lean on christ dont want me leaning on them. when god is all youve got, you aint got much in this world, frankly. christians give god a bad name
That's right. Once you did it a few times you know it will pass. Kia Kaha Susan.
Let The Great One, be the one to determine when it's your time to go!
Or let nature decide it for you, when you don't believe in a God.
Don't take the initiative.
Life is given, there are plenty who wished they had more life left in them...
You probably realized that you would've missed out on a lot of happy moments, had you committed that final act.
the happiest smiles always come from the most saddest people....
Two strong woman who had the guts speak up, even though they have been through a lot.
Im glad i stayed, please stayed...i said this to myself everytime i feel desperated
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you are loved :)
When you're at your worst,
Remember that tomorrow can only be better!
Consider not staying :)
@44JesusIsLord44 except there is no proof of his existence and that even if there was, he's dead for thousands of years.
This country has one of the hardest study structure ...
That build a lot of pressure on children and teens specially..
Even on such an inoffensive video as this people are still calling to "defund the BBC", starting to think you guys haven't actually watched any of these clips and are just commenting for no reason.
They are stupid bots.
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@@johannrajan6357 Yes, and the person above me spams youtube videos on every video :(
@@astroraiken1606 Report their comments as spam.
@@akiraigarashi2874 done
It’s interesting that this is a growing concern in Singapore, one of the most prosperous and successful countries.
Depending how you measure succesful. Succes of a few? Equality or huge differences between social classes? These asian mega "successful" cities are not the "success" in welfare state for all.
Esther Mas
It doesn’t sound like you know anything about Singapore
I am not at all surprised it's a place like Singapore. All that glitters is NOT gold
Daoji while I don’t claim in depth expertise, I’ve visited and done some research - in terms of per capital gdp, number of millionaires, public finances, measures of infrastructure and security, it is consistently at or near the top. Perhaps, like many Americans, some Singaporeans don’t realize what they have.
@@mfmf100 a small box to live in a small island. Life in Singapore is great like you said.
My heart goes out to these women and their families. We must do more about this societal problem.
We should try to help people like them around the world to preserve human life
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Humans are not an endangered species.
As some who has attempted, and have ups and downs, I know my loved ones and family would stay and help hold that fear and darkest place away. Will pray that your efforts save lives!
This world is tough and harsh
We study hard, We work hard, We compete with other people fiercely in order to win a job position at a company and live in this society
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we live in a stupid society sadly
I agree, but it sounds like such people have few real values :(
2023 I know it's late to reply- But it's the society fault. Too much pressure and bad social experiment, that's why they ended their lives. We can't blame these suicidal, and we can't call them selfish because this world is really mess, take a look the people and financial nowadays. Why living? Just end up life, so there are no more pain. I am not suicidal but I rather non-exist than exist.
People want too much materialistic things too soon in life. Success of life is measured by the things you possess.
All immaterial expectations forces the vulnerable to lose the priceless life 😪😪
I pray for these woman man it’s a battle everyday with mental health illness
Brave and generous women! Thanks for your fight! I send you my love!
What a great idea and name.
I feel their pain, my own son committed suicide at 31 years old.
Sorry to hear that. Life can be terribly painful.
@Meow Schröder thank you
I am so sorry to hear this. Stay strong.
@@Garfield_cat393 thank you
I think school teachers play a major part. They ought to be compassionate in their language and not to see achievement of good results as the only goal.
I have many teachers who complain about students not writing what they should have after marking exam papers even though they have explained and told the students to write the correct thing. From that, I can tell they only cared about what our results and not the effort we put in to study. There are definitely a few who actually acknowledges our hard work like my current science teacher. She sometimes praises us or give us small snacks to encourage us to study harder.
All life is so important and its so sad when children feel they need to take there own life.
Talking about our mental health is so important but its easier said than done.
Love is stronger than death, calling for help is better than staying quiet, only God can bring hope for the struggling soul. God bless you.
Their school system is in no small way responsible for this. Pitting children against each other ruthlessly from a young age needs to change, the kids who come out may be smarter, but at what cost?
bravo! I love how knowledge spreads through many cultures that aren't open to progression!
If you think you have it bad because its 2020 there's others who Truly have it way worse. Look At Me Recently Got scam for 250 For Auto repair still stuck without a Vehicle . Two Years 2018-2020 homelessness As A Single Father With my 15 year old .I dont need help I need people to understand hear my story . You Can make it . DONT Be Postive!
Be Strong..
Being positive doesn't Last
But being Strong can Carry on
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one jerked stained sock at a time............one jerked stained sock
@@taytayokocha you work ? or rent your orifices ?
Being stuck without a vehicle? Boohoo😢 "Look at me, my life is sooo much worse than yours"
@@AnhTran-wg2mw Why here? Why post your political trash here?
Life is a hell hole I understand why he left.
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Life is beautiful all the time and I'm so happy...
@@raybod1775 you're either high on meth or that's sarcasm
@@AnhTran-wg2mw uplifting
@@raybod1775 are you rich and beautiful. Or born into rich family who ownes a buisness that gave you easy job ?
STOP social media rubbish like tiktok & instagram.. STOP making children go to prison ('school') from 4 years old when they've just entered the world .. and for goodness sake just let them be human and live
Terrible for the family's ,the mothers are very brave to start this group to help young people who are struggling
As a 32-year old male who had suicidal tendencies since Sec 3, “please stay” is the LAST thing I want to hear about.
It doesn’t get better, it’s just going to get worse and it’s all complete bs.
The fact is that there are not enough resources in the East Asia area so everyone has to compete seriously to attain their social status. if the large environment doesn't change, nothing could change much for the children.
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Instead of asking them to stay, make it worthwhile for them to stay
It's always please stay when they are going or gone
It's never please stay when they were still around
In Asia, it is really hard, and yes it is still a taboo even until now. I salute these ladies and for bringing awareness 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼
May God easy the pain of theses parents ;)
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Nuuh fck that. They should suffer.
As much as I think creating awareness on suicide & describing why it happens is good.
Learning how to deal with someone who has depression or suicidal thoughts is more effective. Learning how to be a good listener, how to be empathetic, sympathetic & prevent a downward spiral from happening.
And for the the person who has depression & suicidal thought - learning how to self regulate.
These things matter more. Just saying - coming from someone who has attempted & continued to have suicidal thoughts throughout her life. I find people often want to help, they just don’t know how.
We can solve many problems if we can all work together i m sure.
My favorite news channel
Just wondering about David's cases. A student from Indonesia who died because of suicide.. is there any information about it?
Singapore stress level is incredibly high. Off the roof.
And it's encourage because GDP!!!
More people will bite the dust in the coming years I tell you
Where are their fathers?
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the million dollar question...............lost boys.
11 years old only? Can't believe it
"Do not be afraid, for I am with you. Do not be anxious, for I am your God. I will fortify you, yes, I will help you,I will really hold on to you with my right hand of righteousness."(Isaiah 41:10)
If you’re at a dark place and contemplating suicide, please seek help and talk to someone. Your life is precious and there are many other solutions to your problems. Love and blessings to you all :) Peace!
Saddest e horrible
Plz save humans save humanity
Disturbing video
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Why is suicide considered a mental health issue? Suffering is part of life and symbolically even birth is traumatic . So to end current and future suffering suicide can be a rational decision.
You obviously haven't met someone suicidal. They think of killing themselves as easily as going to the bathroom. They know its not right, but lose their attachment to life.
@@raybod1775 I imagine some do indeed have mental health issues, but I challenge the assumption that suicide is always not right.
As a child of someone that committed suicide, I wholeheartedly agree! The strength required to make a decision that cannot be undone is herculean. My Dad suffered from cte and degenerative neurological damage as a result of being run over by one car after being struck by another that threw him into the road. After more than a quarter century of physical and neurological hell I can't contemplate, he chose to end his suffering. In so doing, he gave me my life back (I was his sole caretaker since third grade). His death gave my family freedom from poverty (quality care is expensive in the US once your lifetime maximum is reached). These that fight self-euthansia are usually selfish, or grandstanding for some kind of acceptance. Suicide can be a beautiful gift for those that cannot bear the suffering and pain any longer. Stop being selfish. Let go.
I love my Dad. We're grateful for his choice. I'm sure he's in a better place, even if that place is nothing and nowhere.
@@MomMom4Cubs Beautifully put.
@@John_Bradbury Thanx. No one, possibly including these ladies, thinks about the deceased. Why can't suicide be as valid as euthanasia? Just because it's self-inflicted doesn't strike me as valid.
Yea my mum never believed I m suicidal.
Materialisme can kill our soul.
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The world is just too tough... we suicide for a reason because we dont want to burden our loved ones alr.. im diagnosed with major depression, odd,adhd,conduct disorder... i think about death everyday and soon I rlly want to do it
The world can be harsh for sure, but us humans are responsible for that. Be strong bro, keep fighting, I don't know how you're feeling right now, but just meditate it might just help. 💪💪
no one care about me when i am alive now i think if i die i can only get someone to care about me
Hoping him or her too strong n teaching not to show weaknesses making him or her depressed n making him or her a final choice !
🙏🏿
The suicide rate is higher in countries where mental illness is talked about more openly.
This may be because the suicides are reported. If a country doesn't care about suicides it might downplay how many suicides it has
Suicide is higher in cases where the murder rate, including war, is low. I can't remember the name of the study, but it was a large one undertaken in the 60s
Please, if you feel alone and suicidal, please speak to someone. Life is what you make. You can make it a good one. Accept the fact that nothing has any meaning except for that which you give it.
With respect, you don't seem to be aware we live IN SOCIETY.
Stay brave mums. Sometimes you have to reject societal norms.
Free society!! Damn their chains!
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Pressures of modern society: to be an object and neglect your sanity. All the time is put in total perfection or if...
Seriously i wanna save those kidssss
The root of the problem is with PAP.
PAP prefers giving scholarships + good job opportunities to foreigners, and NS (till 40 years old or 10 reservist cycle) to singaporeans. This leaves little scholarships and jobs for the bulk of Singaporeans to fight each other over
Places where there is no competition and complacency are some PAP-affiliated organisations (think SMRT breakdowns and Temasek's Holding's lost investment of your CPF)
All struggles among students and their parents are happening in anguish, while your PAP ministers believe that they still must continue to increase their ministers' salaries, bonuses, and benefits.
Parents and would-be parents, vote wisely ✍️
Schools need to start addressing mental health cos it’s very important
VERY TRUE 😇
What kind of culture is this..this is why I just let my teen daughter played our her tantrums on me to the extreme..thought as long as her school work is good and she is here is better than anything..
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You're doing the right things. Girls have a need to go through experiencing different emotions on someone safe... DAD
Try to pursuade from little age if u did not become a doctor or accountant does not matter. U will still b able to survive being a good motor mechanic or cycle repair. We dont need to compete with other best brains. Therefore no need for brain pressure and failure. U will still live alive and earn some bread. No need to jump in the river. If u explain properly and did not apply pressure of to do full success maybe the person will feel alright. I hope people understand.when a person reach critical time in age becareful how you respond and handle matters. Pls b careful with little ones at certain age when they can become more confused looking at outside world. Thats where the problem of suicide comes in. I wish good luck and prayers for parents of children of difficult age of time.
I'm glad I stayed
I'm so proud
i had been briefly suicidal when i was 9 (idek that "kys" was the meaning for suicide) and then it relapsed when i was 11-12 due to academic stress. if i had died back then and i got to see my parents one last time, i'd say to them, "it wasn't your fault that you couldn't see our pain, we're just too good at hiding it".
and to everyone out there feeling like kys, pls stay. idek you and i really love you. go pray to God, take a walk in the park, hang out with friends (or yourself), idc. go do whatever that makes you happy ok? just like how every good thing comes to an end, every bad thing will too. i know it. 🫂
If an adult wants to suicide than its his freedom to do so. We should not stop any suicide attempt .
I couldn't go to school i don't have any education! All i have is my prayers and my hands to work! i ask God JESUS CHRIST for protection for my kids and family and to keep me strong and healthy!!! My heart goes to all who are suffering of depression and hopelessness!!!! PRAY AND KEEP PRAYING TO JESUS CHRIST!!!!!
adults dont understand they say ok but aft 1 day they forget :/
The daughter learns herself
People with Bipolar Disorder are a high risk of suicide, as well. Edit for spelling
That true because I have bipolar
😢😇
Why not address the increase in suicides in this country?
If you want peace then don't be malevolent to others.Today's modern life has been vitiating our valuable thoughts.
I think nowsday is not easy to be survived in society...
This is what happens to a society which goes after GDP data instead of GNH data
Wise men know that death is right, do not go gently into this good night, rage, rage ,rage against the dying of the light.( it's all you have)
This appears to contradict itself
If death is "right" then why shouldnt we go into it.
"Do not be anxious over anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication along with thanksgiving, let your petitions be made known to God; and the peace of God that surpasses all understanding will guard your hearts and your mental powers by means of Christ Jesus." (Philippians 4:6, 7)
But you all are doing great job to stop suicides 👍
This comes from believing that you are God. It is more of a problem in Singapore now because many other people on Earth now think of Singapore and Singaporeans as a great place.
The truth is, all people on Earth are substandard in the grand scale of all the universe's civilizations...This is spiritual wisdom, from the Buddhist scriptures, as well as the Bible, that keeps men from going insane. Without this knowledge danger lurks. Best regards to all who read this.
message for mom in this video. it's all not your fault. death is a destiny outlined by God for humans. go on living. tell your story. to share your burden. and as a valuable lesson for mothers in the world.
Psalm 103:8-18
The Lord is compassionate and gracious,
slow to anger, abounding in love.
He will not always accuse,
nor will he harbor his anger forever;
he does not treat us as our sins deserve
or repay us according to our iniquities.
For as high as the heavens are above the earth,
so great is his love for those who fear him;
as far as the east is from the west,
so far has he removed our transgressions from us.
As a father has compassion on his children,
so the Lord has compassion on those who fear him
for he knows how we are formed,
he remembers that we are dust.
The life of mortals is like grass,
they flourish like a flower of the field;
the wind blows over it and it is gone,
and its place remembers it no more.
But from everlasting to everlasting
the Lord’s love is with those who fear him,
and his righteousness with their children’s children
with those who keep his covenant
and remember to obey his precepts.
Terrible tragedy.
All I am hearing are excuses by the parents, Asian parents especially those with sons as first child will always push them to be perfect else they will lose "face" when competing with other parents. They are blaming others and "genetics" for their own mistakes, typical parents in denial.
Who programs the "males aren't allowed to have mental issues or be sad" in their minds? Their parents, their excuses shows how much they are trying not to look like it is their fault by playing the victim card.
Also noticed - no fathers mentioned at all. Because the father is afraid of losing more face as well. To him, their children is meant to please their egos.
It isnt easy being male with expectations like that but it's no easy feat being disregarded simply because you are female either.
It's a cultural problem. I don't blame these parents specifically.
@@mangopirate it boils down about "having face, else it is shameful". Like that women said near the end of the video.
@@mangopirate also, unless you are a doctor, lawyer or engineer, you are considered an utter failure as they cannot "show off" to the other parents.
@@mizuhokusuha You're telling me. Im Indonesian and fucked up my medicine studies lol but we know this is a problem all throughout Asia.
At least they're acknowledging that mental health is a problem even if it's a little late for their children. It's slow but it is change that is needed- I know many Religious people that would rather blame superstition than consider it something that needs treating.
@@mangopirateyeah, sorry to hear about your situation. I suspect they are only doing it now to gain sympathy. Also notice, no mention of the fathers at all. Too shamed to show their faces?
It happens more so to the youths. Students, young jobless class. I think it's bcoz of the type of education that we have and that being it so directed towards general Scholastic studies which leaves a major hole or loop to address the issue we r more familiar or inclined on whether it may be games and sports, artistic studies, catering, cooking or things of that sort. We need to introduce Dynamic Ideas in schools. Ideally speaking parents also need to listen to their children otherwise parent to child relation will never grow, it will forever remain one sided. Plus the schools need to engage in activities that provide help and support to society or the planet.
Among the 400 suicides in 2019, 71 were committed by people aged between 20 and 29.
Aged 10- 19 was 23 suicides.
. So ur statement is false, ages 10-29 has 94 suicides and takes 1/4 of the total 400 suicides in 2019. even if the leading cause of death for aged 10-19 is suicide, it is expected of the much younger and healther age demographic that they would die from unnatural causes. Same thing for the leading cause of deaths for millenials, but its safe to say for the new working class facing the stress of a stable status job, needing to earn money to survive, the number of suicides sky rocket to 71, but it doesnt negate the fact that the other older age groups also have a very high amount of suicides.
The number of suicides among people aged 70 and above showed the biggest increase, from 58 in 2018 to 64 in 2019.
Meanwhile, the number of suicides among people between the ages of 50 and 59 decreased the most, from 70 in 2018 to 62 in 2019.
In 2017,
Aged 0-9, 0 (has been zero from at least 2013-2017)
Aged 10- 19 : 12 suicides (admittedly the least amount of suicides for this age demographic in 2017, 2015 being the highest amount of 27 but compared to all the other age demographics in that year with at least twice the amount of suicides, like for instance aged 20-29 being the highest of 79 suicides in 2015 followed by aged 40-49 with 76, not to undermine student suicides but its really not that big compared to others if u also search for the pic statististics)
Aged 20-29: 61 suicides
Aged 30-39: 55 suicides
Aged 40 - 49: 48 suicides
Aged 50-59: 56 suicides
Aged 60 and above with the highest of : 129 suicides.
Total number of suicides :361
In the year 2016:
0-9: zero
10-19: 22
20-29 : 77
30-39: 67
40-49: 66
50-59: 74
60 and above : 123
Overall, then again comparing over the years from 2013-2017, aged 10-19 is the very least hit, next is aged 30-39 class with at least triple that of suicides from aged 10-19, but the number of suicides for ages 30-39 is not much lesser than the other age groups of 20-29, 40-45,50-59.
It goes to show that our education system, is well still going strong for ages 10-19.i was bullied of course but had friends and fun too, but u didnt have to face the stress of working to earn money. . From the ages of 20 to 50 really into consideration what more can be done for the adult working class, like is there inefficiency in MOM, or the law that punishes more weakly on corruption and theft. Theft first offending is 2 years, reoffending is 3 years. Males are also known to have three times the suicide rates as females and females reach out more for to SOS and IMH for support,
A total of 415 people died by suicide in Singapore in 2014, of whom 70% were males. Suicide among males increased by 29% from 227 in 2004 to 292 in 2014, while female suicide decreased by 20% from 154 in 2004 to 123 in 2014. This means that for every 2 females who died by suicide, there were about five male suicides in 2014, up from 3 in 2004. The ratio is growing even more significantly in the age group 60-69, which saw the biggest difference between males and females in 2014. For every 2 female suicides, there were 8 male suicides in 2014, up from 3 in 2004.
The number of suicides among males in this age group increased by 117%, from 24 in 2004 to 52 in 2014. Female suicide decreased by 19% from 16 in 2004 to 13 in 2014.
i think there is also a high correlation to the high sexual assault charges with the stigma attached on males while females u never hear getting sexual assault charges.
for aged 60 and above with their numbers dwindling also from old age and other ailments it sy rockets again to 100 plus, so there is definitely an issue of the elderly being neglected as well which we are also focusing on.
I agree with dynamic ideas for primary school cos right now there is only still the 4 main subjects maths, english, chinese and science which when i reached secondary and received a plethora of new interesting and what im good at subjects i became a lot better academically and holistically. Also the teachers were a lot more respectful and actually cared for the well being of the students and academic achievements , (at least for me) of the students. Those additional ideas tho i did in student care, but it would be great to also include that into the primary school curriculum other than the four class based consecutively going mundane subjects that can go up to more than 4, 30 minute periods a day, which totals up to 2 hours for one subject, even with subject based grading its still not enough if tbe subjects itself can make students not do well. But actually that was like 10 plus years ago i dont really know how much has changed . Primary school had fun and exciting learning journeys.
@@porcupinesauce3872 bruh don't only stick it to ur own life's story.... U need to explore and learn others lives too.. Ur statement is merely ur experience... Try to understand how it is going on in different places... The privileged will never know the loopholes.
@@porcupinesauce3872 bruh did I missed out young jobless class. Plz do read carefully.. and this class includes youth who are placed in a job by default where they can't acquire job satisfaction. I think we need to consider more about the youths... And the people of the old age primarily depend on the youths therefore we need to address the youths most importantly.
Its harsh and i dont know if its an asian problem or not, but we as a man were expected to have alot of money if we want to get married. Have our own house, car, and bussiness.
Also when we're failed or messed up, there's always a women there waiting to shame and belittle us.
This patriarchy system is killing me.
and telling bbc to leave
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@@AnhTran-wg2mw lies without which humanity would perish?
Singapore is a tough place to live. The society over all, the culture, promotes values that make themselves stress. Selfishness, kiasu-ism, materialistic, insensitive, rude/ill-mannered; ungrateful, snobbish, entitled and reckless. They bring all this stress upon themselves. They could actually build a more graceful, more relaxed, comfortable place to live, as the country is so rich. But noo, must win, must be rich, must be number one, even at the expense of others. They are taught to steal other peoples (neighbor/neighboring country) lunch.... seriously, their Prime Minister said that. How can a kid grow up to be graceful and unstressed in this kind of society.
For me in my religion will remind me stay in hell forever keep flashing in my head after 3 times decided to end my life with holding pills in my hands.i cant focus on everything and the next minute always nervous .try to hangout really feels uncomfortable youtube video what ever on my hp tv or this world meaningless.week by week more worst end decide 3 times to end my life..pray to god please save me i want to become normal again and i start to pray keep pray even not feeling anything..keep pray slowly the pain will gone..now i love my life again..the pain will gone trust me keep pray to your god.
Umm, sorry I can't understand whatever you said.
Good job Singapore culture. Good job.
The son must learn the nature of the mind, of the body, of the soul
2
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😮
BTS SHIRT💜 LOVE YOURSELF
They never blame their own parenting lmao
It's rarely parents. People who are suicidal are mentally ill. Rich and famous commit suicide.
Finally someone says what should be obvious
Whether you know it or not internally they do feel guilty. Stop being so horrible!
I never made it past GCSEs and I have autism and Asperger's....these kids seem so lucky compared to me but I'm just doing me....we all go at our own pace. Seems very virtue signalling though to put this out the way you did...how so? The imagery look around
Singapore.....shit....try living in ANY FAMILY EVER....SHOUTOUT TO MY HOMIES IN INDEPENDENT LIVING
"Draw close to God, and he will draw close to you."(James 4:8)
That boy wearing a BTS shirt at the pool.
This me
find a hobby a productive one and you'll be ok.
Whilst no one talks about this Malaysia. Everyone around here will just say things like, that's life..... Well.. fck
Damn when I was 11 I only thought about pokemon
1 800
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For Singaporean, Those peoples having difficulty in Singapore, migrate to Indonesia, Medan better living
No one said anything about the Love they needed in Christ, as a parent or as a family. Put God 1st into our children's hearts will strengthen their internal defense, when the enemy comes.
Everybody should watch The Social Dilemma on netflix
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The Generation now has a problem of accepting failure when life is like a wheel sometimes your on top and sometimes your down, they expect too much from themselves to just satisfy other people's eyes and to compare themselves to others. Do not let Social media be the one who dictates your happiness. Happiness and Suffering is a choice. For parents let your children feel pain, labor, failure and success while your still around when they need guidance, not help.
Wtf