After the Affair: Unraveling Blame

The cheater blames us.
Our friends and family wonder what we did to make them cheat.
We even begin to blame ourselves, questioning what we could have done to keep this from happening.
Blame after an affair is complicated and messy and may be holding you back from healing after infidelity.

[@gailinglis3194]

So glad your back Lisa.. I’ve been watching your videos for almost 2 years since my husband of 30 years committed adultery with his secretary… you are so insightful and wise , i always feel positive and understood after watching .. thank you xx

[@lisaarends8742]

30 years. How sad for him to act this way.

[@wizardofahhhs759]

"You're", abbreviation for "you are".So glad you are (you're)back, Lisa. you're welcome . You are welcome.😊

[@lisalaw3379]

So glad you’re back on you tube- I value these videos

[@knobstonestickbows4962]

For once I've found validation of everything I've thought about and struggled with and for so many years after my wife's betrayal, from your words on this channel. Can't thank you enough from the bottom of my heart. Seriously. Ive felt alone in this for so many years. Recently I've found the FB groups and yt channels that are dedicated to working thru this. It's been eye opening

[@lisaarends8742]

It can be so isolating. I’m glad you’re finding that you’re not alone.

[@katsarti9224]

You can't blame someone for YOUR actions! Simple.

[@karincarlsonspradlin1490]

I was the unloved and unappreciated spouse. I had an emotionally Avoidant partner who did not want to articulate any feelings he had in our relationship. We grew apart. I cheated. We are divorced. I am still with the affair partner. I still feel guilt. I blame myself. But, he WAS at least 50% responsible for the crumbling of our marriage.

[@intergalakt]

Oh what a nice blame for your husband...never try to speak about problems in your marriage? It is easy to say it was 50 procent on his side...i agree, but it was only your choice to cheat. And this is sad...
And you can try to blame him for your problems in your marriage...as long as you need this that you feel good. But at least you made a decision for cheeting. And for this you can only blame yourself...

[@ichoozjc]

Wow, good on you. You understand that a marriage takes work from both sides! Did you also know that there are other ways of ending a stale, unloving relationship that don't absolutely destroy the other person? My wife used the same excuse as you. We both knew the love had gone cold. I offered her separation or divorce a few times. She decided that stabbing me in the back was the adult way of handling it, lol. Cowards. Both you and her, and all cheaters. Cowards.

[@BDCsSanctuary]

@@ichoozjc +1

[@Peterswet]

Your excuse is no excuse. You could have chose to not be a coward and simply said it's over I'm unhappy and leaving . Blame shifting is just your guilt that should haunt you for your actions. Coward

[@user-wf7jd2gf4f]

Lisa.ilov.yòù.