Yes you would think but there are some people who are so charming & live there life from a unconscious place. They are charming, lie and manipulate others, so there are times people need resources, support and help from outside sources. Also be the solution and not the problem
@@kathrynholgate6155 well, charming doesn’t mean they are good people. Like I said, be a good person. I’ve gone through custody battle too. My ex always claimed I was a narcissist and controlling but truth was it was her all along that had mental issues. Most women going through custody wars say their ex is narcissistic and controlling. Truth is everyone is a little narcissistic and it’s in our nature to be controlling. Be a good person even to ur ex when u have to deal with him. Maybe ur situation is more complicated but all women think their situation is always unique. Just be honest with urself
In every example he gave, the successful litigant was still too wrapped up in their hate to act in the best interests of the children. Yet the courts still granted custody.
This has changed my mind set of being angry at my baby boy father for bailing out on the family. Thinking of the best interest for our son is now my goal. All that other stuff can be put to rest. I feel better as well letting him exercise his rights for visitation. We have a custody hearing soon, and i just know with my good heart and understanding the Lord will have everything work out for my family. God bless anyone struggling with custody, its a scary thing with babies involved especially us mothers who carried them for 9 months while being mistreated to only have to suck up the pain and forgive all the time . I pray my son be the best he can be with both parents involved at least
Unfortunately I have personal experience with ugly truths surrounding custody issues. It’s been mentioned about how a parent needs to focus on their behaviors and things they can change. Which I agree with. What I learned the hard way was with my two daughters, their dad and myself... when we first separated, when their dad didn’t follow through with promises, visits, calls, etc, I would find some positive spin or cover story to tell the girls. I didn’t want them to be hurt by their dad being inconsiderate. That started to be an issue because everyone covered for dad, so he never looked like ‘the bad guy’. Meanwhile I’m raising the girls and that obviously involves setting limits and discipline. So they had an evil mom with rules, a dad who, when he wasn’t there everyone covered for him and when he was there, the word “no” was literally never used. My daughters could tell him they were hungry and want Hershey’s chocolate and French fries from McDonald’s and that’s all and he’d get it for them. Taking baths, brushing teeth, picking up.... they never had to do that stuff with dad. While it’s no surprise it caused issues, those issues quickly multiplied. Suddenly once the girls would come home from a week with dad and it got to where I knew to expect my oldest daughter would have a full out breakdown. I describe it as an emotional/mental reset. These were moments of tantrums plus outbursts plus physical thrashing and it always got to where it would escalate until she no longer control it and go into absolute breakdown with me having to physically pin her down to keep her from hurting herself or anyone else as she would have this flood of emotional release! It was terrifying to watch. Eventually I realized that if nothing else my kids deserved truth from their mom. Even when it’s painful truth. That made a huge difference. I never bashed their dad or talked badly of him. I simply stopped lying for him. When the girls would ask why he wasn’t there, they got the truth: baby I don’t know why he isn’t here. I think people don’t realize how much negative impact there can be from trying to keep kids from being hurt!
Good comment. Yes, we don't have to "cover" for the other person. Just saying, "I don't know why," and being there for the child is enough. Tell them they can ask their dad why the next time they see him.
12:38 Dr Craig Childress, a clinical child psychologist, talks about trauma being transferred from generation to generation and has the best strategy to win in custody battles with dark personalities ( narcissistic, BPD). Have you heard of him?
Being a child of a horrible divorce and parental alienation i was very concerned with the past not being repeated with my daughter. I've always said it's not about me winning or my ex winning. The only person that needed to win was my daughter. Your line about war has casualties is so important. Fortunately my ex and I have both worked really hard and done well to do what's best for my daughter.
Unless war is imposed upon upon a good parent who is blindsighted from it. Also there is domestic violence that is often overlooked and not factored into the situations. Often people want to sweep that under the rug and act like it is not a part of the case.
I was wondering this. How to do this but also support the domestic abuse that has been consistent over two years. I created a timeline of events. Pics and videos. I have provided counseling for a year now.
@@mialavendertarotesp it’s a long story he petitioned me after 13 years inconsistent contact with son. He now wants him 50/50 and he is unemployed with a $500 a month income. I haven’t been served yet but they are coming. I’m freaked out. Best of luck doll. I’m studying the statutes in my state and trying my best. I’m not against him seeing his son but definitely not 50/50! He was recently evicted from his home.
I listened to this years ago... i'm listening to it again... I Love this video THANK YOU!!! I was awarded sole... He refuses to see him any additional time
The deeper I go into my exes not letting me see my daughter the more I worry about how she is treating our daughter. It breaks my heart and I’m the only one who can help her but legally I cannot... yet. I’m just hoping the judge can see past her accusations and see the truth of what’s going on. I have tried to stay out of the ‘war’ and even though I haven’t submitted anything to the court about her I may have to set the record straight
@@LiveOnPurposeTV that’s the plan, and hopefully I’ll find some legal help for free or maybe a payment plan or something. Appreciate your insights and advice. Thank you
I was counseled by my attorney to document everything over the last 2 years during my divorce... this was challenging for me to not confuse factual information with emotional responses of things going on. My question is, how do courts view documentation? Do they see this as focusing on negatives? Even if everything in documentation was about the children?
Rebecca Sargeant, it depends on how it is worded and presented. It should always be done leaving out judgement and calls to action. Speak the facts in a very calm manner and it will be received better. Follow your attorney's advice.
She will not reply because she is targeting men with money and who want power to get her gains. Go to One Moms Battle, she is literally teaching men how to work the system. Ive always had a bad taste in my mouth with her. She is an opportunist.
@@LiveOnPurposeTV thank you. So knowledge and kind hearted you both are, it's very noticable. As a grandmother going through a custody battle against CPS, and a third party adoption agency they have hired out (instead of keeping their word and starting the ICPC process like they promised) they are advocating adoption-for an abusive foster home against my custody petition. I so wish I had an attorney/physiologist duo such as yourselves, to dismantle all the horrifying trauma my grandchildren are enduring during this time. They all know i highly regard my grandchildren's emotional health so they put the children in the middle and target it all in that way.
I have been listening to your stuff a lot. It’s so good and I appreciate your insight and advice. What if you are truly dealing with someone who you believe puts your kids in danger? I know it’s best for kids when parents get along. We have always shared joint physical and joint legal but he exercised very little of that for the past 7 years until the last year when he noticed the kids were becoming close with my fiancé. He is now filing for custody modification and using the time he has not used fir years. I have always been reasonable with him, bc he has never wanted much time. Now I feel he is only wanting more time to get back at me and has no regard for the impact on the kids. I know having a healthy relationship with both parents is best and important for the kids, but what do you do when you know he is dangerous and when your kids are scared of him? I want to appear reasonable and show the judge I put them first, but also show the kind of character he really is. My attorney doesn’t seem very engaged and is so busy he won’t respond. HELP!!!
Abby Dillon, time to find a new attorney who will attend to your case. I would definitely get someone appointed to evaluate what the kids want and their true feelings in the case. Having that might help.
This all sounds reasonable and common sense advice in a conflict ridden divorce where abuse is not present. I do not hear acknowledgement of how difficult this is to a parent who has been on the receiving end of years of emotional, verbal, financial and/or physical abuse. That is the problem with the family court system... the lack of understanding of the dynamics at play with these types of custody battles.
Leslie Anne, I agree that the court tries to take the emotion out and it is difficult when people are hurting. The court is not going to try to compensate for the years of abuse. Hopefully you have documentation or other evidence of the abuse and your lawyer can introduce it at the correct time.
I have stopped contact after my kids have stated they do not want to see him and all the other problems are way more my children are not safe with him and I have tried to work with him many time but how long do you keep trying before it's to much
This is what I want, to get along and agree on 50/50 but my soon to be xHusband has a different mentality. I'm afraid that because I want to be fair, I may loose the case. This brings some comfort to me. Thank you!
Can you make videos about Grandparent Custody or Guardianship? Our situation is different because my wife and I are at war with my Mom because she wants to be a parent in our son’s life. She does not want to let him go and allow us to be parents in our son’s life.
I am not sure what the problem is? Did she have custody and is having a problem relinquishing the guardianship? Is there a court order and what does it say? Do you need to get in contact with an attorney?
You don't need an attorney if you and youre husband are the parent of your child, then you have custody there's no way your mom can get custody... The only way she can get custody is if the mother or father is abusing the child other than that she has no right to your child plain and simple. Do not let attorney's believe that she has any right to your child if you do you are being scammed.....
I’d love a video on this. My husbands child’s maternal grandma has held his child hostage. Mom abandoned child but when we filed papers started exercising her visitation. Gma has no legal guardianship etc. They call all the shots.
What about if the mother is basically only living up to the temporary order, but just barely, violating it in as many small ways as possible, using any excuse to deny visitation, we'll agree upon things, and then she'll change her mind and deny me holidays if they weren't on paper. Etc... will the judge catch on to that? Basically my question is will it be evident to the court that there is pettiness from one side towards the other?
What happens when the other parent files false claims on you (like when you kid is sick throwing up and you can't travel and have proof from doctor and they file a contempt for that day?) what does a parent do in a case like this when the other parent is being so mean and hateful? It's actually scary.
I don’t think the divorce behavior is what is perpetuating through the generations in these stories, as much as it is choosing partners that are similar to what we know (our parents or lack thereof). Therapy and counseling should be more common in our society, because so many people are broken and need emotional and mental healing.
You don't have to have an attorney. It's too easy in family court to represent yourself. It's your child and your life. The attorney doesn't have anything at stake.
I am currently in a situation where my baby mama has recently givin birth, and she has blocked me out of everythin completely i dont know my daughterz name or d.o.b. and when i reached out she had responded saying she needed timeto think about letting me be involved tobe blocked once again and all i want is to be involved i my lil girls life, and without my daughters name or d.o.b. i cant proceed so what do i do if she keeps doing this
Robin Nelson, births are public record and you can get the information from the county where the child was born. A birth certificate has to be filed. Any lawyer can help you out with this, but you don't need a lawyer to get the information.
@@DrvgnFvng Yeah it’s better to not have kids when you aren’t married in Canada. You broke up with her when she was pregnant? Did you know her? Do you know where she live? Her parents? Her friends? Did you keep up with the pregnancy?
What can I do my baby mother is keeping me from child and idk why but I been in a relationship for 9 years and she has daughter which I also raise as one of my own she is my daughter and baby mother feels like I do more for her child than our child but me and my fiancé and my step daughter (daughter) we lived together for 9 years I haven’t seen my child since January 12th I missed birthday and other events tell me what am I suppose to do ???????????
If the mother is not willing to do business with you, then you will have to resort to legal means. File for visitation and a parenting plan to be drawn up by the court.
Hate to hear this. I would file for a legal custody order at the court house ASAP. You should only have to pay a small filing fee to get this done. If she is withholding the child, this will not look good for her. I have videos about this on my channel that may help you. Good luck and take care.
Me too. I’m so worried. I don’t know what to do. I can’t make my son’s dad act civilly. He can’t just put aside his hatred and play nice. It doesn’t seem to matter to him. I know my son can sense it and it just makes me cry.
You obviously don’t understand how antagonistic a narcissist is and how hard it is to protect your children from their hatred. It’s impossible to get along with a narcissist! Period. Nothing absolutely nothing works in dealing with them!
I have a friend who’s separated ( divorce is almost final) from her ex husband. The kids have to go back and forth every 4 months cause their parents don’t live in the same state. Is this right ?
It is not ideal, Heidi Holom. What does your friend think? Usually that isn't the best option when they get to school, consistency is important for their education.
the social worker I have had she has been on and off my case for 17 years she had my other child removed of me and this one she is trying to get him apotoon but I am fighting that Apile and I am forcing on I have done everythink these lot have told me to do and I am doing support groups that said because I have a learning disability they don’t think I would cope if my son has any learning needs but he was a healthy baby never had no massive cornea on this so what else can I do
what if both parents are trying their best? mother left two days ago with children and called when she was 5 hours away to say she was leaving. How can we get the children back to california? we are the only family the children have been with and mom has no family in the new state she moved to.
We tried mediation. The paternal aunt didn't participate in court and ran out of the room. She couldn't even speak in mediation she sat in the back of the room and the prosecutor interrogated my daughter. He wasn't suppose to be in mediation. Why was he there ?
To be civil and detached is the rule when the other parent has done very bad things. To pretend you like someone when you do not teaches the child to pretend to like those not liked. Which leads to divorce for that child later in life. Vitriol is not a necessary ingredient of preferring space from a problematic person.
Murray Marshawn, we don't have to pretend, but we can show tolerance. It doesn't mean we want to be buddies and do things together, but we remain civil.
@@LiveOnPurposeTV You conflate civility with tidings and salutations. The impala does not trade hellos with the lion. The impala keeps a fair distance. In the case someone is trying to take your children away, that person hasn't been civil. By definition. Trading hellos at a playground later to maintain appearances that make you more comfortable is a betrayal of exactly how uncivil that parent has been. Few words have masked evil so well as 'civi' No one has ever been scammed in an environment that didn't first pretend to be civil. Bernie Madoff didn't use a gun, he used fake trust and fake civility.
Im the grandparent and neither parent my son or the baby's mother is fit. I have a great attorney and I know my granddaughter will be safe. They could be good parents but choose to love a life of unsafety for the kids.
I'm going through this right now and it sucks cause I've tried to not fight against the other party and fight with them I realized the best interest of the children and tried time and time again it backfired and it's cause they got lawyer
@@LiveOnPurposeTV my children won't talk to me now and I've done nothing to provoke that I don't know what to do cause they won't let me speak to my children and non of this is due to CFS it's a closed file now once The worker took my children he closed my file he learned as fast as I did that if my file was still open he could do and say anything he wanted to o and that he did my file was closed and all help from my provincial government programs had stopped and now I'm left with nothing and no help
I’m just trying to see my child at this point it’s been 2 months. She’s only 4 months. And my child’s mother house got shot up. I should be able to win this right ?
Have either of these gentlemen actually gone through a divorce or had divorced parents? I ask because making something your profession is not the same as actually experiencing it. For example, I would never go to a marriage therapist who has never one been married.
My Apologies, but I was kind-of confused to this question? I 'get-it' that the question involves personal experience over a Career with the same juxtaposition stating, 'I would never go to a marriage therapist if the therapist had never been married.' HOWEVER, given the fact that Sid, the attorney has been doing this for 28yrs., the "personal experience" in a personal tragedy -or- overcoming the same, doesn't appear to equate to the SIZABLE NUMBER of Years as 'Experienced Counsel' & also relative to the years of experience as Dr. Paul Jenkins has as a Child Custody Evaluator?? I could be 'waaayyy-off', but this is almost the same as if, one requested/demanded to have a 'TRIAL BY JURY', but preferred or demanded that the Jury Selection included / DEMANDED that ALL JURY MEMBERS have actually gone thru a 'Divorce' or had 'Divorced Parents!!' That's not necessarily going to 'help' determine the desired favor in the outcome of your case b/c it may not be aligned or impressed upon the MERITS of the case!!!
Great advice! However, let’s not discount abusive marriages which require parents to be apart. Those parents at the wedding may have had a very abusive situation whereby they do not have contact. Contact can cause triggers and issues.
My husband and I just began the process of divorce and he took the kids one night, didn't tell me where they were, I had to hunt them down, he refused to answer calls, texts, or allowing me to speak with my kids over the phone. He is creating false claims about me being unfit. He is a narcissist and will use anything he can. Is there an emergency order available for this type of thing?
What happens when the other par by says that they are just here to waste their time and money and because there’s a nda nothing yall can do and leaves.
Re: the story about the bride's biological parents not being in the same picture, I think the disbelief by the counselor is naive. I would love to tell you my story, I agree with not posting things on social media etc.
@@LiveOnPurposeTV I agree, but disagree with the feeling being temporary as in my case it has been over 3 years to date. I believe I am dealing with someone that has NPD, but it has helped fuel my passion for law and I plan on attending law school in the near future. Thank you for the reply, I will watch more of your videos.
No one wins in a divorce, I just want to see my son who my ex has alienated me from our son, I just want to see our son, he has thrown my name through court and I just want to see my son
Sorry ur going through that .DONT FALL APART ,!!!! If you love him and go to court you should get split custody ,Unless u get a quota hire judge who hates men GRRRR ,My x cheated on me .Had a son .And now keeps the father away from him .He fell apart and gave up YOU DONT OK
@@gijoe9106 that's ok the universe has said we all must reap what we sow and we'll one day he will reap what he has done, the universe does not let debts like this go unpaid
What happens when being around the other parent only instills fear, breeds contempt, and affords opportunity to counterparent resulting in demolition of original parent child structure?
I just found out my son's step mom is filming onlyfans content with child locked in hall way it is filmed live and you can hear the baby crying ,do I tell my lawyer and will I win my custody or will I lose it for finding the content and reporting it?
Sorry to hear this. I would definitely talk to a lawyer about this. As heinous as this sounds, it can sometimes be hard to prove and judges are somewhat strict about 50/50 joint custody these days. My channel advocates for single fathers but I believe there are videos that would help you too in this situation. Good luck and take care.
I am currently in the middle of a child custody case, and I do not have an attorney as I cannot afford one. The other parent has an attorney. So I guess going by your statement I am in trouble.
My kids are scared of my ex and seen him beat me many times they have also seen him beat his mum he has left them in a drunk person's home and forgot where he left them according to him
If I could give my lawyer a zero, I would. He's inexperienced, and he did barely the bare minimum for the 3,000 dollars I paid him!, dont believe those reviews and awards on lawyer website, he got his retain fee and left. I hired lawyer in June 2022 to fight my child modification case, and then what he said was an easy win since the other party abandoned the child for almost 4 years and guaranteed me a victory. lawyer through his email, court documents, and writing, sounded like he was a good lawyer that's fighting hard, but sadly, through writing that's were his zeal stopped. Court day came in August, and he was a deer caught in the headlights before the judge. The judge would ask me a question, and I would reply, lawyer, what do you think? Lawyer was quiet and seemed he didn't know what to say, literally being bullied by the judge. As the judge determined, I and the other party needed mediation, which I looked at lawyer like how are you not fighting for my concerns. After the hearing was over I spoke to lawyer on the phone as he charged me money for it, he told me "that wasn't the outcome he didn't think we would happen" but im like you was a deer in a headlights. A month later, in September, during the mediation again! lawyer balantly sat there and again I was like lawyer are you going to say something? he utter well she should do reunification therapy, I sat there and was like I sought full custody and the other party is still getting their rights!.... after the mediation lawyer said and I quote said to me "this is the outcome we wanted right" No you told me and assured me a victory and since it's "not going to plan" as you said you're folding. In my last verbal conversation, lawyer told Im glad we settled since if we go back to court, it's going to be more expensive, and I quote he spoke, "Good luck." Good luck, lawyer? leading me to believe after he saw the retaining fee has been used up, he's out now. lawyer thought this was a walk in the park type of money child case. Fast forward to November of 2022, I fired lawyer and the response was he was satisfied with our results. Im like, really, what did you accomplish other than reunification therapy? So lawyer worked for me about 5 to 6 months before I fired him, so afterwards, I filed in December 2022 to change counties and venue's since I mentioned to lawyer that Ramsey county shows favoritism and let's move to Hennepin so I could have a fair outcome he said let's see how Ramsey judge will go. December 2022 court date came I won on my own change of venue which Lawyer couldn't do when he worked for me.... In January 2023, I sought child support since lawyer refused to put the individual on child support, so I won that as well without lawyer....fast forward I reapplied for full custody in Hennepin county on February 2023 and court date was set for May and guess what I won sole legal and physical custody on my own without the lawyer the same amount of time I hired him it took me as well the 5 to 6 months on my own and won!!! ....Im a single father, and I beat the odds with very little legal help to all you fathers and some mothers trust in God and his son Jesus for these battles! I won with the Lord's help! I would never recommend that Law firm period!!! now me and my house are moving the hell out of state 🫡✌️after 5 years of fighting.... At least refund my 3000 grand retainer fee for the bare minimum ass job 😑
Plenty of kids don’t even want their married parents in the same room. Sometimes it is for the best if one party is especially harmful/has a personality disorder. Love the advice generally though. It is ideal for parents to put their kids’ happiness first.
Kids are 11 and 12. How much say do they have? Kids find uneducated mother Repulsive. She expelled from school at 12. Both require that I bring them up. This is great as they are the priority in my life
So I have custody court in 2 weeks and I'm super nervous and freaking. Their bringing up my mental issues my substance abuse issues which I can pass a drug screen and i just freaking out I don't want to loose my kid if anyone on here has any kind of advice or anything please message me on Facebook it's bailley Elizabeth
The courts and the judge will not put a stop to it because there making money and if your husband is doing what you claim he's doing than it's only obvious that he doensn't love his child the way you do...You just keep doing what your doing and your child will see threw it all, you will sow what you reap.. If you believe in God than pray for him and continue to Love your daughter..
I believe you gave good advice but the two stories of clients you represented were the mothers and they already have a big advantage as being the mother in a custody case and that’s just a fact especially in certain states
Why do people think that one parent should be calm and cool about the other parent abusing their child? I would be quite suspicious of a parent that acted like it was no big deal that their child was being tortured. I would think that they don't REALLY care about their child! I would suspect that they just wanted custody to get out of paying child support!
Beatriz Vasquez, usually fathers have time with infants. The courts usually look at the needs of the child and if they can be met by both parents, then the visitation is ordered.
Why won't CPS and the courts believe a 15 year old girl, about the abuse by her mother? Just because she doesn't have broken bones and huge bruises? Do they think every child is a liar?
Don’t think badly? What if the other parent really is a horrible person? Who led a secret life and now is constantly rubbing everything in your face? Then what?
@@LiveOnPurposeTV thanks. It’s just the courts and “Children in Between” course act like this is just two reasonable people who are only angry at each other and not “getting over it”. We just need to learn to work together for the children. She is not willing to work anything out. Only throw bombs in the middle of everything and then play the victim. “Remember they were once someone you loved more than anyone in the world” I was told. But I was in love with a lie, a facade. This is a very bad person. And the court doesn’t care about any of it. There is “no fault”.
My real dad lives with my mom and step dad they care for eachother like family should and they still live together i wasn't taught that hating eachother was good for the kids
I love that too but unfortunately I have nobody on my side I'm 5 hours away from my home town I'm alone and isolated my children were split up and in seperate towns and homes they don't see eachother they don't talk to eachother the whole family has been split apart For no reason just cause of a CFS worker didn't like me cause I got him in trouble for misconduct cause he kept attacking my apperance and making comments like your kids are gone so leave my office and don't scare other people by blubbering and crying you can go out backdoor and go see mental health on your way out cause I warned you ..
And If I was DX as CPTSD due to his leveraging the BS DVI to demonstrate my "violence" despite the family orders of precedence? I fear coparenting with what my team alleging that he's a Narc Psychopath?
I have this problem my ex who works for mental health for a long time good level in his job he has abused me and my kids for year me mentally and ohyiscally and now I believe the claims my kids have made are true he even sent me pictures of other peoples miscarriages while I had a mental health break down he is a coke addict also he torched me for years I have messaged him alot since we split but he was telling me I can vent my shit by text im blocked anyway he won't receive them amd everytime I stopped messaging him he would use 3rd party people to abuse problems so I would then start messaging him I just found out that he has been calling the police on my messages
You need to be safe and working on yourself first. This is a journey and you don't need to get there today. Find the good in your life and gradually the shift will happen.
You do know, don't you, that a parent who chooses to embark on a path of parental alienation will not stop, will not put the interest of their children first? They must BE stopped. On the contrary, your three bullet points are the very behaviors they are banking on for the other parent so they can use that to their advantage. So you're talking to the parent who does have the best interest of the children in mind. If that parent is dealing with a clever enough narcissist and an incompetent enough court system, it can be hopeless, the alienator will not BE stopped, and it is cruel to suggest the caring parent could have succeeded by something they failed to do. To the fathers in that situation, I grieve with you (and with my son.). You are not guilty. You did your best. You were dealing with evil and may you find some peace in knowing that.
I was never married to her biological father. I left him and have been living with my parents since 2020. My daughter is primarily with me. He would take her 3 days I would take her 4. Ever since he got with his fiancé she changed the co parenting plan. Now she’s threatening to take my child from me
If women really cared about the kids, they would not be filing for divorce at 80%. Custody is about the marital home and child support. The mother will win almost every time. Lets get real here.
@@LiveOnPurposeTV well when you are a guy going through a custody battle and you hear horror stories about the system being unfair to mean it messes with you. Thankfully I found a good lawyer and it paid off. The judge dismissed the case.
If the married couple that is getting the divorce could work together to put the children above their hurt, then it wouldn't get petty, and the judge would have it easy.
Yes that’s all well and good. But what if one parent was abusive and controlling, and is continuing to threaten and undermine the other parent and make unilateral decisions that are NOT in the best interests of the kids and basically tells the other parent “too bad”? Sometimes taking them to court isn’t petty. It’s survival, for you AND the kids.
How do you get your children back from the grandparents who obtained custody by full on lies that i had proof of!! My ex passed away in a unexpected tragic homicde leaving me all alone without his voice in it because they twisted everything. My kids especially my oldest is experiencing so much negativity and pressure even to the point where their guilt tripping her In order to make do things. How do I prove the alienation let alone just get them back my oldest is willing to talk to the judge but she's scared of what they'll do when they get home... ugh I don't wish this on no one it's such a powerless feeling...
You know what they say about attorneys... Everytime they open there mouth they lie this is so true. This is so sad everytime he open his mouth he was contradicting himelf. I have not yet met a parent that said am trying to allow him time with the kids but he doesnt want it. But he did say it was good business for him because he makes money that's all divorce court is all about making money. There is no reason for any parent to get full custody unless one of the parent is abusing the child. They shoud not even allow attorney's in a divorce it should all be taken care of during counseling..
@@LiveOnPurposeTV I understand what your saying but since attorneys are foreign agents then you belong to the Bar corporation and are considered foreign agents you guys belong to the Bar coporation and indeed working for the courts not your clients. Your first responsibility is to the courts and then your clients...F.A.R.A. Act supreme courts 1795. Trinsey vs Pagliaro.
I know plenty parents who didn’t want custody of their kids. My father didn’t want it, my half-brother didn’t want it either. The most blatant case I’ve seen is when my sister went to mediation with ex husband and told him that he could have full custody of their 2 kids( both under 2) and he refused it. He was going around telling people that my sister is keeping him away from his kids little did he know that my sister was just calling his bluff because she knew that he didn’t want the kids.
Divorce is too easy that is the problem. There is little to no consequences for voiding a marriage contract with divorce. They honestly need to make people learn to actually work with their spouse to keep the marriage intact so that it doesn’t blow up into a divorce. Marriage is hard it isn’t Disney happily ever after, but it isn’t boyz in the hood either. Parents who cannot maintain a relationship and work to stay married and reasonably happy will almost never be able to raise kids who will be able to maintain their future marriage. Nor will they likely learn how to resolve relationship conflict in a healthy manner.
Simple solution to end this war. This doesn’t need to be. Joint legal and joint physical custody with equal shared parenting should be the standard. Sole custody should be a last resort. Not the goal.
That's STUPID. If you used your brain and common sense, they will STILL have an exception "unless there's abuse" and women already lie about abuse all the time. That will only increase false allegations. They've been trying 50 YEARS to pass shared parenting. THE REAL PROBLEM is the CULTURE of the courts. And I'm the only one in the world attack THAT ROOT PROBLEM wake the heck up !!
What do I want for my kids? If they are being mistreated, I want them to divorce. What a horrible, patriarchal view to assume divorce is the worst thing in the world. Women tend to thrive more after divorce. We gain nothing by staying.
How about talking about something more realistic like divorcing NPD personalities who happen to be mostly men and are master manipulators and the crisis in the judicial system who award erroneously to both parents including the male abusive parent and then the kid ends up dead due to neglect or abuse by the NPD parent. Corta don’t care about kids. Until they end up dead and then maybe ….
So basically in order to get custody of the child you have to be a good person and good parent. Who would’ve thought
Doug Foster, yeah, who would have thought?
Not true.....
Yes you would think but there are some people who are so charming & live there life from a unconscious place. They are charming, lie and manipulate others, so there are times people need resources, support and help from outside sources. Also be the solution and not the problem
@@kathrynholgate6155 well, charming doesn’t mean they are good people. Like I said, be a good person. I’ve gone through custody battle too. My ex always claimed I was a narcissist and controlling but truth was it was her all along that had mental issues. Most women going through custody wars say their ex is narcissistic and controlling. Truth is everyone is a little narcissistic and it’s in our nature to be controlling. Be a good person even to ur ex when u have to deal with him. Maybe ur situation is more complicated but all women think their situation is always unique. Just be honest with urself
In every example he gave, the successful litigant was still too wrapped up in their hate to act in the best interests of the children. Yet the courts still granted custody.
I absolutely RESPECT the breakdown using metaphors and similes of having a 'War-like' Mentality over Gaining Legal Custody!! That was Powerful!!
Thank you, Ronnie Moore.
This has changed my mind set of being angry at my baby boy father for bailing out on the family. Thinking of the best interest for our son is now my goal. All that other stuff can be put to rest. I feel better as well letting him exercise his rights for visitation. We have a custody hearing soon, and i just know with my good heart and understanding the Lord will have everything work out for my family. God bless anyone struggling with custody, its a scary thing with babies involved especially us mothers who carried them for 9 months while being mistreated to only have to suck up the pain and forgive all the time . I pray my son be the best he can be with both parents involved at least
leasha McNac, I wish your family the best.
Omg you put that perfectly! Same🤦♀️
How were you mistreated?
Unfortunately I have personal experience with ugly truths surrounding custody issues. It’s been mentioned about how a parent needs to focus on their behaviors and things they can change. Which I agree with.
What I learned the hard way was with my two daughters, their dad and myself... when we first separated, when their dad didn’t follow through with promises, visits, calls, etc, I would find some positive spin or cover story to tell the girls. I didn’t want them to be hurt by their dad being inconsiderate. That started to be an issue because everyone covered for dad, so he never looked like ‘the bad guy’. Meanwhile I’m raising the girls and that obviously involves setting limits and discipline. So they had an evil mom with rules, a dad who, when he wasn’t there everyone covered for him and when he was there, the word “no” was literally never used. My daughters could tell him they were hungry and want Hershey’s chocolate and French fries from McDonald’s and that’s all and he’d get it for them. Taking baths, brushing teeth, picking up.... they never had to do that stuff with dad.
While it’s no surprise it caused issues, those issues quickly multiplied. Suddenly once the girls would come home from a week with dad and it got to where I knew to expect my oldest daughter would have a full out breakdown. I describe it as an emotional/mental reset. These were moments of tantrums plus outbursts plus physical thrashing and it always got to where it would escalate until she no longer control it and go into absolute breakdown with me having to physically pin her down to keep her from hurting herself or anyone else as she would have this flood of emotional release! It was terrifying to watch.
Eventually I realized that if nothing else my kids deserved truth from their mom. Even when it’s painful truth.
That made a huge difference. I never bashed their dad or talked badly of him. I simply stopped lying for him. When the girls would ask why he wasn’t there, they got the truth: baby I don’t know why he isn’t here.
I think people don’t realize how much negative impact there can be from trying to keep kids from being hurt!
Good comment. Yes, we don't have to "cover" for the other person. Just saying, "I don't know why," and being there for the child is enough. Tell them they can ask their dad why the next time they see him.
I learn this a bit too late. I stop covering when my girls became teens. Extremely exhausting
The last story your shared truly made me so sad. Bless you both for sharing these valuable insights.
Thank you, Lyndsie Miles. Honored to be on your team.
@@LiveOnPurposeTV ño
12:38 Dr Craig Childress, a clinical child psychologist, talks about trauma being transferred from generation to generation and has the best strategy to win in custody battles with dark personalities ( narcissistic, BPD). Have you heard of him?
Thank you for your comment. It is likely that Dr. Paul does know of him.
Being a child of a horrible divorce and parental alienation i was very concerned with the past not being repeated with my daughter. I've always said it's not about me winning or my ex winning. The only person that needed to win was my daughter. Your line about war has casualties is so important. Fortunately my ex and I have both worked really hard and done well to do what's best for my daughter.
Sheila Null, I am grateful that you have been able to put your child first. It can happen.
You got lucky
My son and i are victims of parent alienation right now.... sucks. :(
My ex was a victim of PA. He is acting out the same patterns with one of our kids. Kudos to you for breaking the cycle.
Unless war is imposed upon upon a good parent who is blindsighted from it. Also there is domestic violence that is often overlooked and not factored into the situations. Often people want to sweep that under the rug and act like it is not a part of the case.
Mari Moss, violence should never be tolerated.
I was wondering this. How to do this but also support the domestic abuse that has been consistent over two years. I created a timeline of events. Pics and videos. I have provided counseling for a year now.
I have to go to court without lawyer. This was speaking of exactly how I'm going to act in the courts. Amazing and thank you for your work!
You are very welcome and good luck, Mia Lavender Tarot.
What happened? Did you go to court yet? Wishing you all the best as I’m freaking out
@@krystalroxX7 the court meeting is next month 🙌🏻 are you going to court aswell?
@@mialavendertarotesp it’s a long story he petitioned me after 13 years inconsistent contact with son. He now wants him 50/50 and he is unemployed with a $500 a month income. I haven’t been served yet but they are coming. I’m freaked out. Best of luck doll. I’m studying the statutes in my state and trying my best. I’m not against him seeing his son but definitely not 50/50! He was recently evicted from his home.
@@mialavendertarotesp please, if you can say, how did it go? I’ll most likely be without representation.
I listened to this years ago... i'm listening to it again... I Love this video THANK YOU!!! I was awarded sole... He refuses to see him any additional time
His loss. Sorry you are going through this. I wish you and your son well.
I have my restraining order for custody in an hour and this was so helpful. Thank you for posting.
Good luck.
Good luck.
Stay together in kindness or separate in kindness… ♥️
Thank you for the reminder.
You’re welcome. ❤️💔
So what do you recommend for those dealing with parents that have control or narcissistic tendencies?
God, this scares me so bad. I just want my kid to be happy.
Dita Von Cheese, I get it. Thanks for watching.
Thank you . Your videos are very helpful . Bless you both .I appreciate your videos .
A little bit of everything Random, you are very welcome. Honored to be on your team.
For cases like these I'd recommend David Phhillips Law, wonderful lawyer, great service!
Good luck.
The deeper I go into my exes not letting me see my daughter the more I worry about how she is treating our daughter. It breaks my heart and I’m the only one who can help her but legally I cannot... yet. I’m just hoping the judge can see past her accusations and see the truth of what’s going on. I have tried to stay out of the ‘war’ and even though I haven’t submitted anything to the court about her I may have to set the record straight
Living Legend, just submit the facts without your interpretation and with calmness.
@@LiveOnPurposeTV that’s the plan, and hopefully I’ll find some legal help for free or maybe a payment plan or something. Appreciate your insights and advice. Thank you
Thank you Lawyer for your advice....God bless You...
joanne garofalo, I will have to let Sid know. Thanks.
I was expecting legal advice but this video was even better, going beyond that.
Panos Par, glad it was helpful.
I was counseled by my attorney to document everything over the last 2 years during my divorce... this was challenging for me to not confuse factual information with emotional responses of things going on. My question is, how do courts view documentation? Do they see this as focusing on negatives? Even if everything in documentation was about the children?
Rebecca Sargeant, it depends on how it is worded and presented. It should always be done leaving out judgement and calls to action. Speak the facts in a very calm manner and it will be received better. Follow your attorney's advice.
She will not reply because she is targeting men with money and who want power to get her gains. Go to One Moms Battle, she is literally teaching men how to work the system. Ive always had a bad taste in my mouth with her. She is an opportunist.
What an excellent duo.
Thank you, Pamela.
@@LiveOnPurposeTV thank you. So knowledge and kind hearted you both are, it's very noticable. As a grandmother going through a custody battle against CPS, and a third party adoption agency they have hired out (instead of keeping their word and starting the ICPC process like they promised) they are advocating adoption-for an abusive foster home against my custody petition. I so wish I had an attorney/physiologist duo such as yourselves, to dismantle all the horrifying trauma my grandchildren are enduring during this time. They all know i highly regard my grandchildren's emotional health so they put the children in the middle and target it all in that way.
I have been listening to your stuff a lot. It’s so good and I appreciate your insight and advice. What if you are truly dealing with someone who you believe puts your kids in danger? I know it’s best for kids when parents get along. We have always shared joint physical and joint legal but he exercised very little of that for the past 7 years until the last year when he noticed the kids were becoming close with my fiancé. He is now filing for custody modification and using the time he has not used fir years. I have always been reasonable with him, bc he has never wanted much time. Now I feel he is only wanting more time to get back at me and has no regard for the impact on the kids. I know having a healthy relationship with both parents is best and important for the kids, but what do you do when you know he is dangerous and when your kids are scared of him? I want to appear reasonable and show the judge I put them first, but also show the kind of character he really is. My attorney doesn’t seem very engaged and is so busy he won’t respond. HELP!!!
Abby Dillon, time to find a new attorney who will attend to your case. I would definitely get someone appointed to evaluate what the kids want and their true feelings in the case. Having that might help.
Thanks for the information. It’s really helpful. What is the name of the attorney?
He has taken a position with the state and closed his practice. Sorry, he is not taking clients.
This all sounds reasonable and common sense advice in a conflict ridden divorce where abuse is not present. I do not hear acknowledgement of how difficult this is to a parent who has been on the receiving end of years of emotional, verbal, financial and/or physical abuse. That is the problem with the family court system... the lack of understanding of the dynamics at play with these types of custody battles.
Leslie Anne, I agree that the court tries to take the emotion out and it is difficult when people are hurting. The court is not going to try to compensate for the years of abuse. Hopefully you have documentation or other evidence of the abuse and your lawyer can introduce it at the correct time.
Wow..this is deep...but life is Tough and some people are evil..A lot of us did it wrong from the onset..its so so sad.
O, it can be, but we can work through it.
I have stopped contact after my kids have stated they do not want to see him and all the other problems are way more my children are not safe with him and I have tried to work with him many time but how long do you keep trying before it's to much
I don't know what your limit is and what the individual circumstances are. You get to decide.
Thank you!
You're welcome!
Wow, this is excellent! Thank you!
Great video. Thank you!
Alan Gardner, my pleasure.
This is what I want, to get along and agree on 50/50 but my soon to be xHusband has a different mentality. I'm afraid that because I want to be fair, I may loose the case. This brings some comfort to me. Thank you!
Marlene Azevedo, hang in there, I hope things work out soon. Hang in there.
Can you make videos about Grandparent Custody or Guardianship? Our situation is different because my wife and I are at war with my Mom because she wants to be a parent in our son’s life. She does not want to let him go and allow us to be parents in our son’s life.
I am not sure what the problem is? Did she have custody and is having a problem relinquishing the guardianship? Is there a court order and what does it say? Do you need to get in contact with an attorney?
Yes we need an attorney.
You don't need an attorney if you and youre husband are the parent of your child, then you have custody there's no way your mom can get custody... The only way she can get custody is if the mother or father is abusing the child other than that she has no right to your child plain and simple. Do not let attorney's believe that she has any right to your child if you do you are being scammed.....
I’d love a video on this. My husbands child’s maternal grandma has held his child hostage. Mom abandoned child but when we filed papers started exercising her visitation. Gma has no legal guardianship etc. They call all the shots.
What about if the mother is basically only living up to the temporary order, but just barely, violating it in as many small ways as possible, using any excuse to deny visitation, we'll agree upon things, and then she'll change her mind and deny me holidays if they weren't on paper. Etc... will the judge catch on to that?
Basically my question is will it be evident to the court that there is pettiness from one side towards the other?
William M, these orders can be modified and you can have them outlined in court.
What happens when the other parent files false claims on you (like when you kid is sick throwing up and you can't travel and have proof from doctor and they file a contempt for that day?) what does a parent do in a case like this when the other parent is being so mean and hateful? It's actually scary.
Keep your evidence and when confronted, have everything ready and be calm. Calm face, calm voice, calm body.
I don’t think the divorce behavior is what is perpetuating through the generations in these stories, as much as it is choosing partners that are similar to what we know (our parents or lack thereof). Therapy and counseling should be more common in our society, because so many people are broken and need emotional and mental healing.
M K2306. you make some good points.
You don't have to have an attorney. It's too easy in family court to represent yourself. It's your child and your life. The attorney doesn't have anything at stake.
ian keller, I hear you, though sometimes they know the ins and outs better than we do who don't deal with it daily.
How?
I am currently in a situation where my baby mama has recently givin birth, and she has blocked me out of everythin completely i dont know my daughterz name or d.o.b. and when i reached out she had responded saying she needed timeto think about letting me be involved tobe blocked once again and all i want is to be involved i my lil girls life, and without my daughters name or d.o.b. i cant proceed so what do i do if she keeps doing this
Robin Nelson, births are public record and you can get the information from the county where the child was born. A birth certificate has to be filed. Any lawyer can help you out with this, but you don't need a lawyer to get the information.
@@LiveOnPurposeTV what about in canada would those birth records still be public? I live in Alberta
I agree with Live On Purpose TV...... You don't need an attorney....
@@DrvgnFvng Yeah it’s better to not have kids when you aren’t married in Canada.
You broke up with her when she was pregnant? Did you know her? Do you know where she live? Her parents? Her friends? Did you keep up with the pregnancy?
What does it mean to win custody? Does that pertain to parenting time or decision making?
Von, usually it is having say in decisions and how much time you have with the child.
What can I do my baby mother is keeping me from child and idk why but I been in a relationship for 9 years and she has daughter which I also raise as one of my own she is my daughter and baby mother feels like I do more for her child than our child but me and my fiancé and my step daughter (daughter) we lived together for 9 years I haven’t seen my child since January 12th I missed birthday and other events tell me what am I suppose to do ???????????
If the mother is not willing to do business with you, then you will have to resort to legal means. File for visitation and a parenting plan to be drawn up by the court.
Hate to hear this. I would file for a legal custody order at the court house ASAP. You should only have to pay a small filing fee to get this done. If she is withholding the child, this will not look good for her. I have videos about this on my channel that may help you. Good luck and take care.
I’m in the state of Louisiana and am so lost at the moment.
I don’t want to start a court case but am basically being forced to create one.
I hear your frustrations, Swamp Witch. No one wants to go to court. Thank you for watching.
Me too. I’m so worried. I don’t know what to do. I can’t make my son’s dad act civilly. He can’t just put aside his hatred and play nice. It doesn’t seem to matter to him. I know my son can sense it and it just makes me cry.
Sometimes you have to do it before is to late I didn't want to do it either but at times is the only way.
You obviously don’t understand how antagonistic a narcissist is and how hard it is to protect your children from their hatred. It’s impossible to get along with a narcissist! Period. Nothing absolutely nothing works in dealing with them!
Sometimes you need to do what you can to protect yourself.
I have a friend who’s separated ( divorce is almost final) from her ex husband. The kids have to go back and forth every 4 months cause their parents don’t live in the same state. Is this right ?
It is not ideal, Heidi Holom. What does your friend think? Usually that isn't the best option when they get to school, consistency is important for their education.
The law guardian has never changed for my son, she was always on my son's dad's attorney side?
Shannon, I hope things work out for you.
the social worker I have had she has been on and off my case for 17 years she had my other child removed of me and this one she is trying to get him apotoon but I am fighting that Apile and I am forcing on I have done everythink these lot have told me to do and I am doing support groups that said because I have a learning disability they don’t think I would cope if my son has any learning needs but he was a healthy baby never had no massive cornea on this so what else can I do
what if both parents are trying their best? mother left two days ago with children and called when she was 5 hours away to say she was leaving. How can we get the children back to california? we are the only family the children have been with and mom has no family in the new state she moved to.
Rose Coffee, I am not sure what you can do, seek the advice of an attorney licensed where you live.
Can you recommend a good attorney to help out & give advice
Jeremy Boostj, I cannot. Best to talk to people you know.
We tried mediation. The paternal aunt didn't participate in court and ran out of the room. She couldn't even speak in mediation she sat in the back of the room and the prosecutor interrogated my daughter. He wasn't suppose to be in mediation. Why was he there ?
I am not sure. Talk to your attorney about this.
To be civil and detached is the rule when the other parent has done very bad things. To pretend you like someone when you do not teaches the child to pretend to like those not liked. Which leads to divorce for that child later in life. Vitriol is not a necessary ingredient of preferring space from a problematic person.
Murray Marshawn, we don't have to pretend, but we can show tolerance. It doesn't mean we want to be buddies and do things together, but we remain civil.
@@LiveOnPurposeTV You conflate civility with tidings and salutations. The impala does not trade hellos with the lion. The impala keeps a fair distance. In the case someone is trying to take your children away, that person hasn't been civil. By definition. Trading hellos at a playground later to maintain appearances that make you more comfortable is a betrayal of exactly how uncivil that parent has been.
Few words have masked evil so well as 'civi' No one has ever been scammed in an environment that didn't first pretend to be civil.
Bernie Madoff didn't use a gun, he used fake trust and fake civility.
Im the grandparent and neither parent my son or the baby's mother is fit. I have a great attorney and I know my granddaughter will be safe. They could be good parents but choose to love a life of unsafety for the kids.
I wish you well.
I'm going through this right now and it sucks cause I've tried to not fight against the other party and fight with them I realized the best interest of the children and tried time and time again it backfired and it's cause they got lawyer
Marie Smith, it is tough if you don't have someone on your side who knows the legal system.
@@LiveOnPurposeTV my children won't talk to me now and I've done nothing to provoke that I don't know what to do cause they won't let me speak to my children and non of this is due to CFS it's a closed file now once The worker took my children he closed my file he learned as fast as I did that if my file was still open he could do and say anything he wanted to o and that he did my file was closed and all help from my provincial government programs had stopped and now I'm left with nothing and no help
I’m just trying to see my child at this point it’s been 2 months. She’s only 4 months. And my child’s mother house got shot up. I should be able to win this right ?
Tony Savage Life, I hope you can see your child again, I don't know what the outcome will be.
If. Its. Mi. Visitation. Day. Can. I. Call. Police for. Asistetence
Erik, if you think it is necessary, I don't know the details.
What do you do if her father and his new fiancé are screaming in front of the child, and saying they are going to take the child away from me?
Bethany, seek legal advice and see what you can do where you live.
JAY_ARNAULT
He's a private investigator and he helped me with my own custody battle
You can look him up on Instagram
Have either of these gentlemen actually gone through a divorce or had divorced parents? I ask because making something your profession is not the same as actually experiencing it. For example, I would never go to a marriage therapist who has never one been married.
Yes and no, we have had lots of experience.
My Apologies, but I was kind-of confused to this question? I 'get-it' that the question involves personal experience over a Career with the same juxtaposition stating, 'I would never go to a marriage therapist if the therapist had never been married.' HOWEVER, given the fact that Sid, the attorney has been doing this for 28yrs., the "personal experience" in a personal tragedy -or- overcoming the same, doesn't appear to equate to the SIZABLE NUMBER of Years as 'Experienced Counsel' & also relative to the years of experience as Dr. Paul Jenkins has as a Child Custody Evaluator??
I could be 'waaayyy-off', but this is almost the same as if, one requested/demanded to have a 'TRIAL BY JURY', but preferred or demanded that the Jury Selection included / DEMANDED that ALL JURY MEMBERS have actually gone thru a 'Divorce' or had 'Divorced Parents!!' That's not necessarily going to 'help' determine the desired favor in the outcome of your case b/c it may not be aligned or impressed upon the MERITS of the case!!!
Great advice! However, let’s not discount abusive marriages which require parents to be apart. Those parents at the wedding may have had a very abusive situation whereby they do not have contact. Contact can cause triggers and issues.
Yes, there are specifics to every case and they should be taken into consideration.
Love your channel
Thank you, CJ.
My husband and I just began the process of divorce and he took the kids one night, didn't tell me where they were, I had to hunt them down, he refused to answer calls, texts, or allowing me to speak with my kids over the phone. He is creating false claims about me being unfit. He is a narcissist and will use anything he can. Is there an emergency order available for this type of thing?
I don't know what is available to you where you live, check with the court or an attorney.
What happens when the other par by says that they are just here to waste their time and money and because there’s a nda nothing yall can do and leaves.
That should tell the judge quite a bit so they can make a knowledgeable choice.
Re: the story about the bride's biological parents not being in the same picture, I think the disbelief by the counselor is naive. I would love to tell you my story, I agree with not posting things on social media etc.
Dan, it is not a good idea to post on social media. The temporary feeling will not last.
@@LiveOnPurposeTV I agree, but disagree with the feeling being temporary as in my case it has been over 3 years to date. I believe I am dealing with someone that has NPD, but it has helped fuel my passion for law and I plan on attending law school in the near future. Thank you for the reply, I will watch more of your videos.
I agree Dan....
incredible
Thank you, Jessie.
No one wins in a divorce, I just want to see my son who my ex has alienated me from our son, I just want to see our son, he has thrown my name through court and I just want to see my son
Silver Seraph, truer words have never been said.
Sorry ur going through that .DONT FALL APART ,!!!! If you love him and go to court you should get split custody ,Unless u get a quota hire judge who hates men GRRRR ,My x cheated on me .Had a son .And now keeps the father away from him .He fell apart and gave up YOU DONT OK
@@gijoe9106 that's ok the universe has said we all must reap what we sow and we'll one day he will reap what he has done, the universe does not let debts like this go unpaid
What happens when being around the other parent only instills fear, breeds contempt, and affords opportunity to counterparent resulting in demolition of original parent child structure?
Andrea Carroll, I don't know all the specifics of what is happening. I will you well.
I just found out my son's step mom is filming onlyfans content with child locked in hall way it is filmed live and you can hear the baby crying ,do I tell my lawyer and will I win my custody or will I lose it for finding the content and reporting it?
You can talk to your lawyer about that. It will have to be proven so have the evidence, not just what you saw.
@@LiveOnPurposeTV I have a copy of the live video
Sorry to hear this. I would definitely talk to a lawyer about this. As heinous as this sounds, it can sometimes be hard to prove and judges are somewhat strict about 50/50 joint custody these days. My channel advocates for single fathers but I believe there are videos that would help you too in this situation. Good luck and take care.
I need help
Bulldog Boxing, hopefully this or another of the videos is helpful for you.
I am currently in the middle of a child custody case, and I do not have an attorney as I cannot afford one. The other parent has an attorney. So I guess going by your statement I am in trouble.
My kids are scared of my ex and seen him beat me many times they have also seen him beat his mum he has left them in a drunk person's home and forgot where he left them according to him
Doesn't sound fit.
I need help gd it
I hope this helps.
If I could give my lawyer a zero, I would. He's inexperienced, and he did barely the bare minimum for the 3,000 dollars I paid him!, dont believe those reviews and awards on lawyer website, he got his retain fee and left. I hired lawyer in June 2022 to fight my child modification case, and then what he said was an easy win since the other party abandoned the child for almost 4 years and guaranteed me a victory. lawyer through his email, court documents, and writing, sounded like he was a good lawyer that's fighting hard, but sadly, through writing that's were his zeal stopped. Court day came in August, and he was a deer caught in the headlights before the judge. The judge would ask me a question, and I would reply, lawyer, what do you think? Lawyer was quiet and seemed he didn't know what to say, literally being bullied by the judge. As the judge determined, I and the other party needed mediation, which I looked at lawyer like how are you not fighting for my concerns. After the hearing was over I spoke to lawyer on the phone as he charged me money for it, he told me "that wasn't the outcome he didn't think we would happen" but im like you was a deer in a headlights. A month later, in September, during the mediation again! lawyer balantly sat there and again I was like lawyer are you going to say something? he utter well she should do reunification therapy, I sat there and was like I sought full custody and the other party is still getting their rights!.... after the mediation lawyer said and I quote said to me "this is the outcome we wanted right" No you told me and assured me a victory and since it's "not going to plan" as you said you're folding. In my last verbal conversation, lawyer told Im glad we settled since if we go back to court, it's going to be more expensive, and I quote he spoke, "Good luck." Good luck, lawyer? leading me to believe after he saw the retaining fee has been used up, he's out now. lawyer thought this was a walk in the park type of money child case. Fast forward to November of 2022, I fired lawyer and the response was he was satisfied with our results. Im like, really, what did you accomplish other than reunification therapy? So lawyer worked for me about 5 to 6 months before I fired him, so afterwards, I filed in December 2022 to change counties and venue's since I mentioned to lawyer that Ramsey county shows favoritism and let's move to Hennepin so I could have a fair outcome he said let's see how Ramsey judge will go. December 2022 court date came I won on my own change of venue which Lawyer couldn't do when he worked for me.... In January 2023, I sought child support since lawyer refused to put the individual on child support, so I won that as well without lawyer....fast forward I reapplied for full custody in Hennepin county on February 2023 and court date was set for May and guess what I won sole legal and physical custody on my own without the lawyer the same amount of time I hired him it took me as well the 5 to 6 months on my own and won!!! ....Im a single father, and I beat the odds with very little legal help to all you fathers and some mothers trust in God and his son Jesus for these battles! I won with the Lord's help! I would never recommend that Law firm period!!! now me and my house are moving the hell out of state 🫡✌️after 5 years of fighting.... At least refund my 3000 grand retainer fee for the bare minimum ass job 😑
Glad things worked out for you! You will give hope to others.
Is it possible to get his contact information please or may be full name so i can google it
Thank you 😊
Nikki Patel, Syd is no longer taking on cases, he got a job offer at the state level.
Plenty of kids don’t even want their married parents in the same room. Sometimes it is for the best if one party is especially harmful/has a personality disorder. Love the advice generally though. It is ideal for parents to put their kids’ happiness first.
It is general advice.
Kids are 11 and 12. How much say do they have? Kids find uneducated mother Repulsive. She expelled from school at 12. Both require that I bring them up. This is great as they are the priority in my life
I hope there is room for everyone.
How do you protect your children from an abusive parent when they are the custodial parent?
TheMFStudios, document and then go back with the proof.
So I have custody court in 2 weeks and I'm super nervous and freaking. Their bringing up my mental issues my substance abuse issues which I can pass a drug screen and i just freaking out I don't want to loose my kid if anyone on here has any kind of advice or anything please message me on Facebook it's bailley Elizabeth
Bailey Price, keep doing what you are doing, being the parent your child needs. I am thinking of you.
I wish you guys could help me out. 💔
Aerius B, I hope the videos are helpful, I am not doing child custody evaluations any longer.
The courts and the judge will not put a stop to it because there making money and if your husband is doing what you claim he's doing than it's only obvious that he doensn't love his child the way you do...You just keep doing what your doing and your child will see threw it all, you will sow what you reap.. If you believe in God than pray for him and continue to Love your daughter..
I believe you gave good advice but the two stories of clients you represented were the mothers and they already have a big advantage as being the mother in a custody case and that’s just a fact especially in certain states
We have lots of stories and clients who are both mothers and fathers. We just used those two. Thank you for watching.
Why do people think that one parent should be calm and cool about the other parent abusing their child? I would be quite suspicious of a parent that acted like it was no big deal that their child was being tortured. I would think that they don't REALLY care about their child! I would suspect that they just wanted custody to get out of paying child support!
No child should have to go through that.
Please someone help me.
Is it wrong if mother allows only visitations for infant, but father wants to be able to pick up child for parental time
Beatriz Vasquez, usually fathers have time with infants. The courts usually look at the needs of the child and if they can be met by both parents, then the visitation is ordered.
Why won't CPS and the courts believe a 15 year old girl, about the abuse by her mother? Just because she doesn't have broken bones and huge bruises? Do they think every child is a liar?
No, they do look for evidence. She should be believed.
Don’t think badly? What if the other parent really is a horrible person? Who led a secret life and now is constantly rubbing everything in your face? Then what?
First Name Last, stay in the place that you control and protect yourself. Limit your contact and be prepared to practice some self-care afterward.
@@LiveOnPurposeTV thanks. It’s just the courts and “Children in Between” course act like this is just two reasonable people who are only angry at each other and not “getting over it”. We just need to learn to work together for the children. She is not willing to work anything out. Only throw bombs in the middle of everything and then play the victim. “Remember they were once someone you loved more than anyone in the world” I was told. But I was in love with a lie, a facade. This is a very bad person. And the court doesn’t care about any of it. There is “no fault”.
My real dad lives with my mom and step dad they care for eachother like family should and they still live together i wasn't taught that hating eachother was good for the kids
Marie Smith, I love to hear examples of when the adults put the kids first.
I love that too but unfortunately I have nobody on my side I'm 5 hours away from my home town I'm alone and isolated my children were split up and in seperate towns and homes they don't see eachother they don't talk to eachother the whole family has been split apart For no reason just cause of a CFS worker didn't like me cause I got him in trouble for misconduct cause he kept attacking my apperance and making comments like your kids are gone so leave my office and don't scare other people by blubbering and crying you can go out backdoor and go see mental health on your way out cause I warned you ..
And If I was DX as CPTSD due to his leveraging the BS DVI to demonstrate my "violence" despite the family orders of precedence?
I fear coparenting with what my team alleging that he's a Narc Psychopath?
I hope you are able to work this out. Some people are more challenging that others.
I have this problem my ex who works for mental health for a long time good level in his job he has abused me and my kids for year me mentally and ohyiscally and now I believe the claims my kids have made are true he even sent me pictures of other peoples miscarriages while I had a mental health break down he is a coke addict also he torched me for years I have messaged him alot since we split but he was telling me I can vent my shit by text im blocked anyway he won't receive them amd everytime I stopped messaging him he would use 3rd party people to abuse problems so I would then start messaging him I just found out that he has been calling the police on my messages
Get legal advice. I am not sure why you are having contact with him.
My ex is an abuser and groomed me into marriage and children and I’m deeply traumatized. Not so sure I can just think positive 😂 but go off
You need to be safe and working on yourself first. This is a journey and you don't need to get there today. Find the good in your life and gradually the shift will happen.
You do know, don't you, that a parent who chooses to embark on a path of parental alienation will not stop, will not put the interest of their children first? They must BE stopped. On the contrary, your three bullet points are the very behaviors they are banking on for the other parent so they can use that to their advantage. So you're talking to the parent who does have the best interest of the children in mind. If that parent is dealing with a clever enough narcissist and an incompetent enough court system, it can be hopeless, the alienator will not BE stopped, and it is cruel to suggest the caring parent could have succeeded by something they failed to do. To the fathers in that situation, I grieve with you (and with my son.). You are not guilty. You did your best. You were dealing with evil and may you find some peace in knowing that.
M Arn, parental alienation should never happen. I am sorry this happened to you.
I was never married to her biological father. I left him and have been living with my parents since 2020. My daughter is primarily with me. He would take her 3 days I would take her 4. Ever since he got with his fiancé she changed the co parenting plan. Now she’s threatening to take my child from me
I am not sure how she can change the plan, that would happen between you, the father and possibly the court.
JAY_ARNAULT
He's a private investigator and he helped me with my own custody battle
You can look him up on Instagram
They don’t need to be in the picture together, especially if one or both of them has a new spouse, that’s not appropriate
Thank you for watching.
Married six months and looking to divorce?! Go to counseling! Bloody hell.
rainynight02, if you want to save the marriage. If not, you can get a divorce.
If women really cared about the kids, they would not be filing for divorce at 80%. Custody is about the marital home and child support. The mother will win almost every time. Lets get real here.
Still waiting to hear this guy tell a story about a guy he represented through a custody battle...and won.
Burnell Zimmerman, that wasn't the point of the video. We could have made that video, but we are trying to help those going through the process.
@@LiveOnPurposeTV well when you are a guy going through a custody battle and you hear horror stories about the system being unfair to mean it messes with you. Thankfully I found a good lawyer and it paid off. The judge dismissed the case.
@@LiveOnPurposeTV Great Response.
How to get custody of your children? - First and foremost you need to be a woman
If the married couple that is getting the divorce could work together to put the children above their hurt, then it wouldn't get petty, and the judge would have it easy.
Richard Suitt, agreed.
Yes that’s all well and good. But what if one parent was abusive and controlling, and is continuing to threaten and undermine the other parent and make unilateral decisions that are NOT in the best interests of the kids and basically tells the other parent “too bad”? Sometimes taking them to court isn’t petty. It’s survival, for you AND the kids.
How do you get your children back from the grandparents who obtained custody by full on lies that i had proof of!! My ex passed away in a unexpected tragic homicde leaving me all alone without his voice in it because they twisted everything. My kids especially my oldest is experiencing so much negativity and pressure even to the point where their guilt tripping her In order to make do things. How do I prove the alienation let alone just get them back my oldest is willing to talk to the judge but she's scared of what they'll do when they get home... ugh I don't wish this on no one it's such a powerless feeling...
I am so sorry you are going through this, Erica. I hope you have an attorney who can guide you through this complex process.
I'm trying to come out of this not homeless and able to get back and forth to work. My brother in law pays 50% of his GROSS. He can't buy a shirt.
I get it, very difficult to support two households.
You know what they say about attorneys... Everytime they open there mouth they lie this is so true. This is so sad everytime he open his mouth he was contradicting himelf. I have not yet met a parent that said am trying to allow him time with the kids but he doesnt want it. But he did say it was good business for him because he makes money that's all divorce court is all about making money. There is no reason for any parent to get full custody unless one of the parent is abusing the child. They shoud not even allow attorney's in a divorce it should all be taken care of during counseling..
abelino lopez, many places are moving more toward mediation, trying to create a win/win.
@@LiveOnPurposeTV I understand what your saying but since attorneys are foreign agents then you belong to the Bar corporation and are considered foreign agents you guys belong to the Bar coporation and indeed working for the courts not your clients. Your first responsibility is to the courts and then your clients...F.A.R.A. Act supreme courts 1795. Trinsey vs Pagliaro.
I know plenty parents who didn’t want custody of their kids.
My father didn’t want it, my half-brother didn’t want it either.
The most blatant case I’ve seen is when my sister went to mediation with ex husband and told him that he could have full custody of their 2 kids( both under 2) and he refused it. He was going around telling people that my sister is keeping him away from his kids little did he know that my sister was just calling his bluff because she knew that he didn’t want the kids.
They should start havin lie detector test in Family Court
It would be interesting.
Not one video of lawyer wining custody for a man😢
It has happened, I have seen it happen.
Divorce is too easy that is the problem. There is little to no consequences for voiding a marriage contract with divorce.
They honestly need to make people learn to actually work with their spouse to keep the marriage intact so that it doesn’t blow up into a divorce.
Marriage is hard it isn’t Disney happily ever after, but it isn’t boyz in the hood either.
Parents who cannot maintain a relationship and work to stay married and reasonably happy will almost never be able to raise kids who will be able to maintain their future marriage. Nor will they likely learn how to resolve relationship conflict in a healthy manner.
Davidjune1970, there are many skills that people can learn that will liken their having a successful marriage.
Simple solution to end this war. This doesn’t need to be. Joint legal and joint physical custody with equal shared parenting should be the standard. Sole custody should be a last resort. Not the goal.
Thanks, Linda Wright. Glad you are here at the channel.
That's STUPID. If you used your brain and common sense, they will STILL have an exception "unless there's abuse" and women already lie about abuse all the time. That will only increase false allegations. They've been trying 50 YEARS to pass shared parenting. THE REAL PROBLEM is the CULTURE of the courts. And I'm the only one in the world attack THAT ROOT PROBLEM wake the heck up !!
Doesn't Work with Narcissist
What do I want for my kids? If they are being mistreated, I want them to divorce. What a horrible, patriarchal view to assume divorce is the worst thing in the world. Women tend to thrive more after divorce. We gain nothing by staying.
How about talking about something more realistic like divorcing NPD personalities who happen to be mostly men and are master manipulators and the crisis in the judicial system who award erroneously to both parents including the male abusive parent and then the kid ends up dead due to neglect or abuse by the NPD parent. Corta don’t care about kids. Until they end up dead and then maybe ….
L.A, there is so much in these few sentences. The safety of the children always comes first.
Everyone cannot afford an attorney. They are way too much.
Kathey J, always better to be able to work it out without attorneys.