Thank you to Laurie for taking part. She shares her message of hope in an honest account of her past and the events which led to her addiction, journey and ultimate recovery. She hopes that this message will inspire others to become the best version of themselves, to heal, to love and to accept themselves without judgment.
Perhaps it's just early comments and they'll filter out somehow, but I really can't understand why people are being mean to her. As a recovering alcoholic (2 years sober, yay) who's also talked about addiction publicly, I admire this woman's courage and resilience. It takes a lot of strength to recover and then to be able to talk about it publicly. And no, you wouldn't "like that sort of addiction", you're just being mean and immature and would better shut up and listen for once.
Im not sure I’ll ever get to the point where I can openly talk about my addiction. I’m sober and have been for years but I’m not sure I’ll ever heal fully. I’ll never go back and in a way that’s all I need but I’m still an addict and always will be I just make the choice not to step back into it. Sometimes I need to consciously make that choice every few months some days it’s every few minutes. This woman is phenomenally brave.
@@markedmunds1966I fully understand mate. the irony for me was that talking about it was my trigger - and yet the used medical model in my country for recovery was the talking cure. I still don't like talking about it, and can never help anyone else, as I don't want to discuss it - I just wanna get on with my life. I still have days where I open my eyes and it's front and centre, so to then talk about it just fuels it. You do you mate as only you know what you need. take care and enjoy your day mate.
I think the fact that sex isn't a substance and that you also need someone else to do it is a big barrier to understanding her. Like one of my thoughts was why can't you just get off on your own? Or better yet, maybe you're just addicted to orgasms? Needing to have someone else in the picture seems so irrational and not very believable. But then I realized from what she said that It's not the sex in itself. It's about the commitment and codependency issues that form a very damaging mental paradox. The sex is just a coping habit. Exactly like a substance is a way to cope and "hide" like she's saying. Main difference I guess is that she can still have sex, and most substance abusers have to completely stop using pretty much any kind of substance. I'm sure that can spark some jealousy. I think that's kind of understandable too tbh.
Exactly, I have had 3 friends with sex addictions, 2 with drug addiction and let me say there was barely a difference in recovery, the only difference was that the sex addiction was harder to control as it’s so common (and one guy got married a few years later who wanted kids but he was scared he’d go back to how he was, he didn’t as he continued therapy and they have 2 beautiful kids) but sex addicts are often waved off because of either taboo or ignorance whereas drug addiction is more understood in the public eye
Addiction is one of the worst things someone can go through. Not only does it affect you but it affects those around you. Sending love to Laurie. Thank you for sharing your story. ❤
Laurie was really clever and outgoing at school, didn't know she was getting bullied. She always seemed happy. Just shows you no one knows what happens behind the "scenes". Feel sorry for you Laurie, fair play for speaking out about your issues. Hope you find happiness
I'm addicted to porn and scorts. Living with a sex addiction (or any addiction for that matter) is really draining on your soul... I've been trying to get out of it but I have failed up until now. I really feel for this woman. I hope everyone out there who suffers from any addiction get the help they need.
@@annaelisavettavonnedozza9607 thank you so much for your kind words! Fighting the urge as I write this... hope everything's going well for you out there!
My wife suffers with BPD and it's incredibly hard for her to manage every day. It takes so much strength and I appreciate Laurie for shining light on a difficult issue.
@@Daz759 I mean fair enough, but my wife had grown a lot since I met her half a decade ago. She got her own career, her life back on track, and yes it still hard but she’s doing better.
You're a better person than me because I would steer well clear of women with BPD or Personality Disorder etc... I was in a children's home and I had a girlfriend who I didn't realise at the time had BPD. I always used that experience to steer well clear of women like that and that is probably why I have been in a fantastic relationship for over a decade with a wonderful woman! Coming from a dysfunctional background helped me identify certain patterns and I refuse to allow chaos into my adult life as a man in his 30's.
She knows what she went through, she understood her past, she understood the pain, she shared her past as honest as she could. She didn’t judge her dad nor blame her parents, she is just a nice person who God helped to become better. I am so happy for her and glad for the progress she has made. This story is highly inspirational. Sex addiction is just like every addiction she said and it’s very true. God bless you and keep you. Cheers ❤
Imaginary god had nothing to do with it. And if you do believe in god, you must also believe he is responsible for everything he would have put her through, making her life a total misery.
AHAhahah!! "God helped to become better"??? THAT is short-sighted and narrow-minded, since if your God exists, then it was your God who made her a sex addict in the first place!!! If we pretend that your God is real, then the best we can say about it is "Your God made her a sex addict and her humanity was able to triumph over the designs of your God, curing her of her God-given addiction!" If your God is real, then your God is a monster, who gets off on fucking with people! Your God is a trashy turd who deserves to be eradicated from the human experience, for the betterment of all humanity! Christians like to say that "The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn't exist," right? In reality, if "The devil" is the bad guy in all this, then the greatest trick he ever pulled was convincing Christians to call him "God." But of course, the devil is just your imaginary enemy, the way God is your imaginary friend. You're allowed to grow up, you know? When you do, you can put away childish things, like God and the devil and take responsibility for your own actions, good or bad!
As a recent Father I can't imagine her pain losing a baby at only 7 weeks old. Truly heart breaking, I'd certainly get PTSD after too if that happened to me. Poor lady 😢 xx
As a sociopath, I can't understand why this would be upsetting. If it happened to me, I wouldn't even understand why I was supposed to pretend to be upset. It doesn't make any sense to me, as you don't have real investment in the relationship. It's just like meeting someone at a party; if you never see them again, it's not upsetting at all. Even if that person is a particularly sexy girl that you wanted to fuck. If you never see her again, so what? There are other sexy girls in the world.
Its incredible how strong and brave Laurie has been through her struggles. Hearing she lost her first child like that... its hard to survive something like that without finding something to offer some relief to that crushing pain. At least a sex addiction isn't as directly harmful as hard drugs or alcohol abuse, but stacking unhealthy and abusive relationships on top of everything else sounds really awful. Wishing her the best, especially knowing she's going to have to fight this battle for the rest of her life. I respect her guts and strength.
What a gift you give to others Laurie by sharing something so personal. I hope that you are tender with yourself and the answers unfold as you seek them. Sending you much love friend ❤
I met a girl similar to this, she was very clear of her sex life in the past and wasn't proud of it. She was an amazing person sometimes, but then massive red flags appeared in her behaviour. She just treated it as having fun with people but it wasn't. Alcohol became a massive issue for them, and their behaviour was so much worse on it, and the aggression was ridiculous. After months of it, and definitely enough abuse. I just had enough and said I didn't want to be involved with her anymore. From her telling me of her behaviour in previous partners and thinking that wouldn't happen to me, well it did. In all, I hope she does get the help she needs. Definitely undiagnosed BPD.
@willnestor6422 Agreed, and unfortunately, they always just blamed me for their behaviour. And even when I tried to help them see some insight into themselves. They just pushed back and blamed something else on me to try justify their own behaviour.
Have you talked to a therapist about why on earth you’d think someone telling you exactly who they are wouldn’t be that way towards you? Do YOU have undiagnosed bpd? Bc that’s odd behavior
@@nataliaalfonso2662that's not really fair, is it? I went through the same thing and gave that person in question the benefit of the doubt, as they clearly regretted the behaviour they described. Safe to say, I know now that this rationality and moral compass gets thrown out the window once their emotions get the best of them. Like I said, it's a naive optimism that blinded me from seeing that coming, but why would you assume me or the person you replied to show signs of BPD for that?
Thank you Laurie for sharing your story. Really gives insight on how to deal with the feelings and emotions. I‘ve been dealing with sex addiction for some years now and this video really made me feel understood. I always thought that sex is my answer to everything. To make me forget my terrible childhood and constant problems. To give me one good feeling in life. To make me feel worthy of something. This is a topic that has to be discussed more and people have to stop shaming the brave people that come forward. To all the men that think, that this is not an addiction, I‘m a man myself… …and corn addiction is not the same as sex addiction
I’m REALLY glad to finally see a video that addresses how being a sex addict or promiscuous in general is neither healthy nor normal. Its root is usually to do with something else, usually from childhood. It’s simple a symptom of something that needs to be revisited and worked on.
I applaud her vulnerability, applaud her recovery and dedication to changing. Would love to know how long she’s been in recovery at the time of this interview. She seems very introspective, and very aware of what she was trying to do during her addiction (such as connect superficially with others so as to not have to be yourself with them, being afraid we aren’t worthy of love so we reject it). Great interview.
Thank you for sharing your story Laurie. I respect Laurie for being honest and vulnerable. I can't imagine the pain of loosing a child . Laurie is so brave sharing her story. I admire Laurie's strength and determination. Laurie is remarkable. Laurie is incredible. ❤
"I think everyone should get therapy" 100%, It's crazy how the concept of a regular physical health check up with a professional is normal but a regular mental health check up isn't
Funny how millions upon millions of people older than 20-something never needed therapy for generations and generations (it wasn't really "a thing"). Yet the all generally got along perfectly fine. But today, people who experience normal human emotions, bad habits, dark thoughts, etc all feel they need to schedule a therapy appointment. I'm not knocking it completely, I just think its a tool that can be abused and a lot of money can be wasted (their own or from taxpayers) on what are otherwise "typical life experiences." News flash: Almost everyone got bullied in school. Almost everyone has parents that could have been better. Almost everyone occasional has dark or self-harming thoughts (more common with younger people). Almost everyone has had one or many bosses that they absolutely hate and can't tolerate. Almost everyone has experienced profound grief or profound loss of a loved one, either through their passing or from ending a relationship. The list is very long. Yet, these things are all just the normal experience of being human. Of course there is a threshold whereupon the situation far outstrips a person's ability to cope, but it should be a high bar. For example. there are situations relating to people experiencing PTSD for a sudden shock event that they may not know how to process, or after dealing with a long term hight abusive situation, where they need a therapist to "rewire" their mental circuitry in order to get back to living a normal functioning life. But most of the people today, I would posit, are using therapy as a crutch. It's an expensive habit, just to have someone to talk to that will listen to them. I know some will find what I wrote irritating or offensive, but it is not meant to be. Every generation is different. Some generations have everyone who is hooked on cigarettes and drinks a little too much to cope. Some generations had their hippies who decided to check out of normal societal norms. And some generations live their lives addicted to social media and need an alternative way to relate to other humans ...enter "therapy". In truth, coping is a human skill, and generally is the way of the world. Different generations deal with different issues and also evolve different coping mechanisms.
Because it isn't the same thing. Having a broken bone that can be permanently damaged if it doesn't heal properly isn't the same as a state of mind that can be changed much quicker and easier. I've had therapy and counselling for grief. I personally didn't find it did anything good for me. That's not to say it won't help others.
@@georgef822Mental illness often takes exponentially longer to heal than physical injuries. Trauma, depression, dissociation, personality disorders, etc don’t heal nearly as fast as broken bones and even many physical diseases. Sometimes they never heal. However therapy definitely won’t help everyone and your experience is certainly valid. Thing is though, most mental issues can’t be fixed quickly as physical things (if they can even be fixed at all) and if mental health is not addressed properly it can ruin lives.
I really enjoy these interviews. Laurie is super introspective, brave and honest. It’s so important to have these conversations and empathise with people suffering from addiction. I’m hoping over time it’ll help eradicate the intense judgement they face. Wishing Laurie peace and happiness ❤️
The rough part is when the addiction is something that's totally a normal part of your life - like spending, sex, eating, etc. All addictions are hard, but it's so challenging when it's something you can't just abstain from. While sex is something you can abstain from, it's just such a core part of living, and something that's not even really viewed as a vice when done outside of addiction. It's viewed as something that people simply need akin to eating and spending money on things
Im celibate the past year an half roughly for different reasons. I find it is essential to restart your own self structure while healing and or just chilling after years of the few relationships from hell (metaphorically speaking).
Good for her for getting help and speaking about her journey. My gran had BPD and she also slept around, cheated on my mum's dad, had more children. She was bipolar too. I saw her when she was on and off her meds, and saw the shift. She was like a little child, mischievous and had her nice moments, but made my mum's life awful. Very sad and toxic.
Right on, great share... All I know for sure is after 5 years in a committed relationship if you're having sex 20+ times a week you two deserve some kind of congressional medal. You know, this feels a lot like grief. There is a death in a sense, but the memories still have a hold. The best thing you can do is keep talking about it to everyone who will listen until you get to a point that the bad/good memories don't control you anymore...
The self-medication theory of addiction suggests that people use substances, such as alcohol and drugs, or the effects of other addictive behaviors, such as eating or gambling, to relieve uncomfortable physical symptoms or emotional states. Globally, self-medication is an important public health problem, with prevalence ranging from 11.7% to 92% across the world.
This lady comes across so lovely, and genuine, I know a few women who were promiscuous when they were younger, but are the most loving committed partners. Everything she said resonated with the experiences I've had with talking to these women. I hope she's found her soul mate, and she is treated with love dignity respect and care. ❤
addiction is powerlessness. Genius words Laurie. Thank you so much! Believe in yourself , start a family , I suppose you will love kids and they will take your PTSD away and try to give them best life by sincerely commiting to them. That will give you happiness I suppose which infinite sex would not fulfil. BEST OF LUCK!!!!
I appreciate this ladies honesty and courage - I agree co- dependency is at the root of this - self blame and hate are features also - I wish Laurie all the very best with her ongoing recovery.Very frank too about the effect of early childhood trauma which I’m sure underlies a lot of this pain and disconnection. Connection is the real way to go!
Addictions can come in at many forms, anything can be an addiction, but sex is extremely powerful, there is something in that that can truly turn into a spiral, be careful people.
Awh wow I too am diagnosed with bpd nobody ever told me it was a love addiction but watching this was a real eye opener I could relate to 99% of what this lady was saying
omg. I've got dodgy & herniated discs, amongst others spinal issues, I've never considered that this is why I have no libido, is that an actual symptom then?! 🤯
@@edendreamstarot7647 I sympathise with you I've had a herniated disc for almost 10 years it personally puts me in a bad place when I'm not comfortable in my body, it stops me enjoying the simple things in life,. hope you can remedy your spinal issues and move forward.
@@edendreamstarot7647 it can be a Symptom- people who got herniated disc in the lower back often sufferin‘ by a restriction of the libido and or sexual dysfunction. The drugs you take can strenghten the loss of libido..for example opiates….core Training can be helpful just in Relation to the loss of libido…if its completely gone, it can also be difficult for a Partner who wants a sexlife…
@@edendreamstarot7647I don't think having back problems can cause your libido to go down i have degenerative disc disease in L4-L5, bulging disc, lateral tear all in my lower back had this for over 5 years now also arthritis in my hands, feet and other parts also have scholiosis when my disc bulges out. My testosterone feels just as good as it was in my 20s the key to this is diet and exercise.
I was with a woman that was like this. She wanted sex all the time and if she didn't get it felt rejected so would burst into a fit of rage and cause arguments. She was mentally unstable, couldnt handle her emotions and it was really difficult being with her. It's only now that I look back and realise how toxic she was and that she had BPD. It's impossible to form a stable, secure, drama-free relationship with someone like that... it's years of issues built up often from younger years, so you come to realise that people like that will never change and it's best to just avoid them.
I had a similar experience and I'm sorry you had to go through that. And like you, I try to avoid this type of woman but at the same time, I disagree with you in the sense that everyone can be helped and it will be easy but it's possible. BPD is a difficult condition but it can be managed. I suffer from CPTSD, PTSD and am neurodivergent and thought I was damaged goods for most of my life. Part of me still believes that but that's not true for me and it's not true for people like this lady. They deserve our care, help and support.
@@firbolg a woman with BPD in her 30s cannot be fixed. We're not talking about a teenager here, we're talking about a grown adult- it's almost in her DNA now. You either accept that's who they are or you do not get with them in the first place. In my case it's option B- I now have a criteria for women and if I see red flags like BPD, deep trauma, being emotionally unstable or daddy issues then I'm gone. Someone else can take the risk. I'm done with toxic, drama fuelled girls.
Any addiction is really the same in many ways. It’s something you fall back on something that feels incomparably safe and you can forget about everything else, especially so because we tend to get anxious over every little thing like opening the door even many times even subconsciously. People tend to forget about this motivation, the first thing that comes to mind for people who haven’t faced it is that they enjoy something so much that they can’t live without it, that’s not the whole story, it’s so entrenched in their lives that they cannot imagine or cope without indulging in it.
My experience although I'm a guy, on the emotional level is very similar to hers. I think for many people in a similar situation its so helpful to hear your story. Thank you for sharing this!
@hurricaneaquatics I mean in the sense that she's been honest with herself about her addiction, sought help and improved her life. That's inspiring to me.
If only mental issues carried less of a stigma. The issue is that when the bad behaviours are manifesting from any addiction, the assumption from those on the outside looking in is that these are conscious choices coming from a place of rational consideration. They aren't. The compulsion is strong and no one asked to be addicted to anything. We only understand the perspective of the sex addict in this video because she is brave and brazen enough to come out and be vulnerable on camera. I surmise that at the time of all the sex she was having, no one could have known that she had an underlying issue, just the assumption that she was making the conscious decision to be sexually irresponsible. I'm hoping this video brings the affliction of addiction in general into focus and to give us pause to consider this as a reason and root cause why certain bad behaviours among friends and loved ones may be as frequent and persistent as they are.
People have no right to judge someone like her...sex is definitely something that can give you a temporary high and is something any girl can easily get addicted to...especially with how a lot of men feel about women nowadays. Good on her for helping herself
Imagine being addicted to sex as an average male….would‘ve been interesting to address the power-gap in terms of accesability and the means of romantic hierarchies.
As a man ive had periods of 2 to 3 years of celibacy after relationships ended as my confidence was so low and I no longer felt even worthy of going out on dates or even speaking to women. There are men out there deleting themselves as a result of not even feeling seen by women. And many of those guys are not even bad looking or unsuccessful in their careers and achievements.
Whenever there are these stories of people with obsessive addictions, they nearly always correlate with having a troubled childhood and upbringing or issues with one or both parents and lack of belonging at home. It's very unlikely that people with addiction or severe mental health issues have grown up in a naturally loving and nurturing environment with *both* parents present in their whole life. I realise how lucky I am to have two wonderful parents and a safe home environment. It's the same with crime. The difference in convictions of people from single-parent homes compared to people from two-parents homes is remarkable. I don't intend to come across as rude but facts are facts.
I was looking forward to this as it’s an interesting topic, but it lacked so much depth as an interview 😭 All I know is she was addicted to sex. Where did she meet the 20+ guys per week, was it apps, pubs, clubs? Was it hotels, her home, their home? Did her friends notice? Were any of the men dangerous? Did she have any scary moments? Was she able to have any relationships during the 20 years? What was it like to have another child after her first child died? How soon after was it? Did she also have any porn addictions? So much could’ve been asked and wasn’t!
She said she had sex 20 times per week. Could have just been 5 or 6 guys. She could have been an escort. My ex partner who was partly bipolar imo was a secret escort and use to feed it that way, as well as bars, festivals and apps.
"What was it like to have another child after her first child died? How soon after was it?" what is wrong with you jfc. you're just here to get some salacious details. if you're so interested in the topic, then what do her children have to do with it?? she didn't come here to go into details about what she did while addicted, she came here to talk about what that addiction has done to her and what it was like being addicted, and she did just that.
The real story is how she, if she has, accepted responsibility for BPD. Especially the destruction it brings.... addiction is a trait of BPD, no point in treating the sex addiction - and as she said food, when the underlying BPD is not addressed... a VERY hard disorder to treat... IF it is accepted. Yes I was with a woman who has BPD... her addictions were huge marijuana use, as well as sex, and food... and it manifested itself in violence- complete violence with words, spirit and physical... Addiction is just the small part of BPD as a way to deal with it... just addressing the addiction is like a band aid, it 'appears' some sort of control... its just a tap to release the real pressure for a time.... She sounds EXACTLY like my ex that had BPD - it's all a front... 'Not your fault, you are not responsible for anyone else....' ... yup...
If we want “people to stop shaming other people for sexuality” we should start by calling it compulsive sexual behaviour (which is a condition listed in the International Classification of Diseases manual) instead than sex addiction (which is not because there is little evidence it is actually an addiction). Anybody can easily become addicted to opioids or nicotine. Compulsive sexual behaviour is overwhelmingly a symptom of an underlying trauma or condition (e.g., BPD). It is so extremely rare to become addicted to sex by having (or watching) too much, scientists are not sure it actually happens.
She’s still so fresh off her addiction. I wish her the very best and I hope she keeps up with treatment. I also hope she manages to stay alive and forgives herself…even if her partner were to leave her and she were to temporarily return to her addictive practices. Sex addiction like so many others carries shame as a major symptom, so I hope she continues working on that. Kudos to her partner. Living with BPD partners can be extremely difficult but it sounds like they’ve set up great communication and honesty. I wish her nothing but love…and great healthy sex.
I had an ex at university who had similar sex addiction traits. We had a fairly toxic relationship and often when we argued, she would storm off and jump into bed with the first person that showed her attention, man or woman. Because I was young and stupid, I kept taking her back. Years later, a friend of hers from her hometown called me and revealed that the first serious relationship she'd ever been in had been an abusive one and this had shaped how she approached relationships going forward. It occurred to me that my ex was stuck in a constant sexual fight or flight mode. When we argued, she would storm off to avoid potentially getting hurt and then have sex with someone else to get that gratification back that she needed.
These people needs hours of therapy to understand how and why they act the way they do. They get to their 30s and still haven't figured out why they're doing what they're doing. The thing is after therapy they still go on to do what they do because they know why they're doing it but it doesn't stop their feelings so they do it anyway. Medication can help but as soon as they go off it they're back to repeating the same cycle over and over.
@@RD24LFG Mate, she was 18 years old. This was over 20 years ago. Maybe as a fully grown adult she's worked through her issues but you can't hold teenagers to the same standards as people with enough life experience to know better
@@CaptainHowdy-mw9vc Nah bub 18 year olds died on the beaches of Normandy to stop the extermination of a race and Fascism. We need to get BACK to treating 18 year olds as what they are. ADULTS.
@@CaptainHowdy-mw9vcyes you can. If you don't think a teenager doesn't know better than to cheat, you're brainwashed. She knew very well what she was doing. That's their MO, they want to punish you and they don't with what they know hurts you the most.
glad that she understand herself and progressing out of addiction. yea it's meant for connection and intimacy that she is craving , later became an addiction.
I've never been the kind of person who could sleep around, I love sex don't get me wrong but I'm very relationship focused, I've never gone out looking for casual hook-ups, it's never been a priority to me. It's sad to see that some can succumb to this, I do have a rather high drive so I guess it's a bit similar but it's always focused around somebody I love, I need that connection in order to enjoy it and want it. I once tried a 3 way and I just couldn't with the other person, they weren't ugly and didn't have anything wrong with them, It just wouldn't stay at attention but my partner I had no issue at all
Consumption of porn combined with low sexual market value is a factual reality as well. It's the closest a person can get to sexual satisfaction, which is a normal human tendency and need. But one cannot dispute its bad parts, the toxic effect it can have if taken to extremes, in the form of addiction. I think the person dealing with low SMV has to constantly practice gratitude to fill the void of rejection. Try doing for others, as well as treating yourself kindly and ignore that inner voice which tells you you're bad or not good enough.
Addiction to anything that isn't a physically addictive substance is already a particular struggle in itself. People can be generally very ignorant to how we can rewire our bodies' reward systems etc. through behaviours and constant exposure alone. The idea of being addicted to something that isn't giving you "cravings" or substances altering your mental state is incomprehensible to many people, sadly.
The mind is the strongest tool of the body. Build it , Grow it, Maintain it, and you will overcome all obstacles. DONT BE WEAK. YOU SHOULD ONLY BE SAD FOR DEATH OR LOSS OF MONEY. EVERYTHING ELSE IS A DISTRACTION.🤷♂️ Like it or not THIS MAY CHANGE YOUR LIFE
@@baroquersame 😂 it’s funny, when I was younger I was desperate to experience it but was too shy & anxious to initiate it Now I know how to get it & even been offered but am no longer desperate Still tempted here & there but I rather wait for when I get a wife that I’ve built a mutual relationship with that’s not just skin deep you know?
Not someone with an addiction but this really resignated with me when I went through something similar in my early 20s and how it stems from feeling undeserving of happiness and needing to be punished - definitely makes me feel understood as someone who also has PTSD 🤍🤍🤍
My ex-gf was a sex addict. It was actually horrible. Our relationship consisted entirely of her focussing on getting herself off. No interest in love, care, or thought for anyone else. Constantly fighting, mistrusting each other, and barely even talking at home. Then, we would have sex before bed every night. It was a disgusting existence and once that she has replicated in every relationship before and since.
One thing is judging her by your personal standards or being rude and disrespectful to her... But at the end of the day she still must be accountable for her choices. Having no control over impulsive behaviors and doing what feels good at the time still a personal choice. Not everybody has the same sense of morality about this. But sex is actually the only thing in a relationship that is expected to remain exclusive. You can still trust other people, you can make plans with other people, you can have fun or hang out with other people... But you're not supposed to sleep with other people. As a man you can't ignore the shame that would bring upon you, finding out that your mother, your daughter, your sister, or your wife, has been shagging 20 random guys a week for a long time. Not quite the same thing as somebody struggling to quit smoking or drinking in my eyes. Also the most common issue on people with BPD is the lack of accountability. Good on her but terrible to whoever ends up with her... Don't hate me i've had a rough childhood too...
Some of these comments are why I “🙄” when SOME men do the whole “nobody cares about men’s mental health, or make loneliness epidemic only women’s” because at this point, you don’t care about both your own and/or each others mental health- it’s not everyday joke about people’s health and well-being because if it was done to you, you play that same broken record…
When she mentioned flu symptoms, it reminded me of those people I've seen doing some sort of "cleansing" from drugs. Like her, I wasn't expecting the same to be applied to her since hers is different. As a psych major, I find her dad's story to be depressing.
Brave woman for shining a light in something that a lot of people find so difficult to speak about. Also, is it me or is Laurie is the spitting image of a young Patricia Arquette from the True Romance?)
‘ you can’t just cut sex out like you can with alcohol ‘ - you have to slowly reduce your alcohol intake so you don’t go into withdrawals which can be deadly??? ( my uncle was an alcoholic for many years )
i think what she meant is you can go through life without alcohol regardless of how you go about eliminating it... but going a lifetime without any intimacy is not what most people could deal with.
Agreed it can be deadly. I know someone who died of alcohol withdrawal. They were 49, highly functioning alcoholic, working, earning good living, having beautiful house, good cars. Every night drinking heavily. A some point lost job for couple of months. Tried to turn their life around. (Also it was a very disturbed personality). So they decided to quit kind of cold turkey. One day he was going through very rough withdrawal. He was watching tv, his 20 year old son was visiting. He begged his son to buy him a beer. His son said No, you’ve bedn doing so well sober, I m not helping you start drinking again. And he left the house, living the guy by himself. He watched some tv, was unwell so wdnt to kitchen to fix some tea or hot soup or something like that, and just collapsed and died on that kitchen floor. From rapid alcohol withdrawal. Had his son gotten him that god darn beer, he would have not died that night. And for sex, yes you can live without it, celibacy is doable. It is the eating addiction that is something you just cannot physically quit or you die of starvation, but sex you can live without.
This is just a person trying to excuse their actions while garnering sympathy. While at the same time, doesn't know what they're talking about. People will say anything
I think we all struggle this issue is in every part of the world with people it's up to you how you tackle this issue I have learned to keep myself busy and involved in variety of different activities and it then keeps my mind away from this I have worked alot on myself it's tough for people and I understand this woman's concerns aswell
Sex addiction is judged more harshly because the elephant in the room is that it's the most intimate thing you could ever do with another human being, and you're distributing your soul amongst all the sexual partners you've had. It is a wholesale disrespect and disregard of the most sacred and soul bonding relationship behavior.
That's the social morality that gets projected on top of a biological drive. The implicit message is that sexuality has a specific purpose or "meaning", which must be reflected in your behaviour or you are deserving of shame. Such rigid classifications prevent people from engaging with each other as human beings, rather than conveyers of "virtue" or "social meaning". And when turned inward they prevent self healing, which requires radical honesty.
Thank you to Laurie for taking part. She shares her message of hope in an honest account of her past and the events which led to her addiction, journey and ultimate recovery. She hopes that this message will inspire others to become the best version of themselves, to heal, to love and to accept themselves without judgment.
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Why would people have other people's filth thrown inside their body?!!!it causes diseases...just imagine different filth falling into the same well
Perhaps it's just early comments and they'll filter out somehow, but I really can't understand why people are being mean to her. As a recovering alcoholic (2 years sober, yay) who's also talked about addiction publicly, I admire this woman's courage and resilience. It takes a lot of strength to recover and then to be able to talk about it publicly. And no, you wouldn't "like that sort of addiction", you're just being mean and immature and would better shut up and listen for once.
Im not sure I’ll ever get to the point where I can openly talk about my addiction. I’m sober and have been for years but I’m not sure I’ll ever heal fully. I’ll never go back and in a way that’s all I need but I’m still an addict and always will be I just make the choice not to step back into it. Sometimes I need to consciously make that choice every few months some days it’s every few minutes. This woman is phenomenally brave.
@@markedmunds1966I fully understand mate. the irony for me was that talking about it was my trigger - and yet the used medical model in my country for recovery was the talking cure. I still don't like talking about it, and can never help anyone else, as I don't want to discuss it - I just wanna get on with my life. I still have days where I open my eyes and it's front and centre, so to then talk about it just fuels it. You do you mate as only you know what you need. take care and enjoy your day mate.
Congrats on your sobriety
I think the fact that sex isn't a substance and that you also need someone else to do it is a big barrier to understanding her. Like one of my thoughts was why can't you just get off on your own? Or better yet, maybe you're just addicted to orgasms? Needing to have someone else in the picture seems so irrational and not very believable.
But then I realized from what she said that It's not the sex in itself. It's about the commitment and codependency issues that form a very damaging mental paradox. The sex is just a coping habit. Exactly like a substance is a way to cope and "hide" like she's saying. Main difference I guess is that she can still have sex, and most substance abusers have to completely stop using pretty much any kind of substance. I'm sure that can spark some jealousy. I think that's kind of understandable too tbh.
Exactly, I have had 3 friends with sex addictions, 2 with drug addiction and let me say there was barely a difference in recovery, the only difference was that the sex addiction was harder to control as it’s so common (and one guy got married a few years later who wanted kids but he was scared he’d go back to how he was, he didn’t as he continued therapy and they have 2 beautiful kids) but sex addicts are often waved off because of either taboo or ignorance whereas drug addiction is more understood in the public eye
"You're scared of being vulnerable, and therefore to love properly". This. Thank you Laurie
Addiction is one of the worst things someone can go through. Not only does it affect you but it affects those around you. Sending love to Laurie. Thank you for sharing your story. ❤
Female Sean ryder
Nah addictions not that bad relax could be worse things like aids or something
@@antonyjohnston370 no idea who that is
@@Themilkman95 I hope you’re a troll.
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Laurie was really clever and outgoing at school, didn't know she was getting bullied. She always seemed happy. Just shows you no one knows what happens behind the "scenes". Feel sorry for you Laurie, fair play for speaking out about your issues. Hope you find happiness
@😂lukeponsonby7926
@lukeponsonby7926 you're wrong for this
What an inspirational woman! Having the bravery to discuss something so “taboo” so openly is amazing.
I Agree! FairPlay to her! I’m so pleased she’s in a happy relationship & settled now! ♥️
That's bravery
Same! to open your legs and let thousands of men plough through you like a bull through grass takes a LOT of strength!
@@KeiGambit 🤣🤣💀
@@KeiGambit in a world where you can be anything, don’t spout nastiness online, be kind.
I'm addicted to porn and scorts. Living with a sex addiction (or any addiction for that matter) is really draining on your soul... I've been trying to get out of it but I have failed up until now. I really feel for this woman. I hope everyone out there who suffers from any addiction get the help they need.
Just remember you deserve to be free of it. You don’t deserve that addiction
@@annaelisavettavonnedozza9607 thank you so much for your kind words! Fighting the urge as I write this... hope everything's going well for you out there!
You need to find out what the addiction is supplementing. It always comes from an unfulfilled need
I’d use an anonymous account to comment this online, given the stigma associated with any addiction.
Good luck in your fight against your addiction.
My wife suffers with BPD and it's incredibly hard for her to manage every day. It takes so much strength and I appreciate Laurie for shining light on a difficult issue.
My Ex wife suffered with BPD which is why she's my Ex😂
@@Daz759 I mean fair enough, but my wife had grown a lot since I met her half a decade ago. She got her own career, her life back on track, and yes it still hard but she’s doing better.
@incognisance4293 good for you both
You're a better person than me because I would steer well clear of women with BPD or Personality Disorder etc...
I was in a children's home and I had a girlfriend who I didn't realise at the time had BPD.
I always used that experience to steer well clear of women like that and that is probably why I have been in a fantastic relationship for over a decade with a wonderful woman!
Coming from a dysfunctional background helped me identify certain patterns and I refuse to allow chaos into my adult life as a man in his 30's.
@@acediamond7524 I think what helps is that my wife understands her challenges. Plus I just love her a lot and she accepts my issues as well.
She knows what she went through, she understood her past, she understood the pain, she shared her past as honest as she could. She didn’t judge her dad nor blame her parents, she is just a nice person who God helped to become better. I am so happy for her and glad for the progress she has made. This story is highly inspirational. Sex addiction is just like every addiction she said and it’s very true. God bless you and keep you. Cheers ❤
Imaginary god had nothing to do with it. And if you do believe in god, you must also believe he is responsible for everything he would have put her through, making her life a total misery.
AHAhahah!! "God helped to become better"??? THAT is short-sighted and narrow-minded, since if your God exists, then it was your God who made her a sex addict in the first place!!!
If we pretend that your God is real, then the best we can say about it is "Your God made her a sex addict and her humanity was able to triumph over the designs of your God, curing her of her God-given addiction!"
If your God is real, then your God is a monster, who gets off on fucking with people! Your God is a trashy turd who deserves to be eradicated from the human experience, for the betterment of all humanity!
Christians like to say that "The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn't exist," right? In reality, if "The devil" is the bad guy in all this, then the greatest trick he ever pulled was convincing Christians to call him "God." But of course, the devil is just your imaginary enemy, the way God is your imaginary friend. You're allowed to grow up, you know? When you do, you can put away childish things, like God and the devil and take responsibility for your own actions, good or bad!
As a recent Father I can't imagine her pain losing a baby at only 7 weeks old. Truly heart breaking, I'd certainly get PTSD after too if that happened to me. Poor lady 😢 xx
7 weeks? Lol
Im not sure what you find funny@@alessioaznavour5275
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As a sociopath, I can't understand why this would be upsetting. If it happened to me, I wouldn't even understand why I was supposed to pretend to be upset. It doesn't make any sense to me, as you don't have real investment in the relationship. It's just like meeting someone at a party; if you never see them again, it's not upsetting at all. Even if that person is a particularly sexy girl that you wanted to fuck. If you never see her again, so what? There are other sexy girls in the world.
@@Raz.Cwhat
Its incredible how strong and brave Laurie has been through her struggles. Hearing she lost her first child like that... its hard to survive something like that without finding something to offer some relief to that crushing pain. At least a sex addiction isn't as directly harmful as hard drugs or alcohol abuse, but stacking unhealthy and abusive relationships on top of everything else sounds really awful.
Wishing her the best, especially knowing she's going to have to fight this battle for the rest of her life. I respect her guts and strength.
Losing a child is so traumatic. I feel terrible for her.
from what i hear and feel, this woman is way more authentic and conscious than the average today
What a gift you give to others Laurie by sharing something so personal. I hope that you are tender with yourself and the answers unfold as you seek them. Sending you much love friend ❤
I'm so sorry she lost her son. I can't imagine. Wishing her all the love and warmth and healing in the world. 😢❤
I met a girl similar to this, she was very clear of her sex life in the past and wasn't proud of it.
She was an amazing person sometimes, but then massive red flags appeared in her behaviour. She just treated it as having fun with people but it wasn't. Alcohol became a massive issue for them, and their behaviour was so much worse on it, and the aggression was ridiculous.
After months of it, and definitely enough abuse. I just had enough and said I didn't want to be involved with her anymore.
From her telling me of her behaviour in previous partners and thinking that wouldn't happen to me, well it did.
In all, I hope she does get the help she needs. Definitely undiagnosed BPD.
If it happened to them it will to you. Had to learn that lesson myself as well.
@willnestor6422 Agreed, and unfortunately, they always just blamed me for their behaviour.
And even when I tried to help them see some insight into themselves. They just pushed back and blamed something else on me to try justify their own behaviour.
Can relate, it doesn’t get better with them, you just have to leave after a while
Have you talked to a therapist about why on earth you’d think someone telling you exactly who they are wouldn’t be that way towards you?
Do YOU have undiagnosed bpd? Bc that’s odd behavior
@@nataliaalfonso2662that's not really fair, is it? I went through the same thing and gave that person in question the benefit of the doubt, as they clearly regretted the behaviour they described. Safe to say, I know now that this rationality and moral compass gets thrown out the window once their emotions get the best of them. Like I said, it's a naive optimism that blinded me from seeing that coming, but why would you assume me or the person you replied to show signs of BPD for that?
Good on her for trying to better herself. I got nothing but respect for this lady. At least she can be honest with herself and move forward!
Thank you Laurie for sharing your story. Really gives insight on how to deal with the feelings and emotions. I‘ve been dealing with sex addiction for some years now and this video really made me feel understood. I always thought that sex is my answer to everything. To make me forget my terrible childhood and constant problems. To give me one good feeling in life. To make me feel worthy of something. This is a topic that has to be discussed more and people have to stop shaming the brave people that come forward.
To all the men that think, that this is not an addiction, I‘m a man myself…
…and corn addiction is not the same as sex addiction
Takes courage to be this open and a candid about the choices she has made. She’s a brave lady and I commend her for sharing so openly.
Brave lady to open up about your addiction. Hats off to you you a unique smart individual ❤
I’m REALLY glad to finally see a video that addresses how being a sex addict or promiscuous in general is neither healthy nor normal. Its root is usually to do with something else, usually from childhood. It’s simple a symptom of something that needs to be revisited and worked on.
I applaud her vulnerability, applaud her recovery and dedication to changing. Would love to know how long she’s been in recovery at the time of this interview. She seems very introspective, and very aware of what she was trying to do during her addiction (such as connect superficially with others so as to not have to be yourself with them, being afraid we aren’t worthy of love so we reject it). Great interview.
Thank you for sharing your story Laurie. I respect Laurie for being honest and vulnerable. I can't imagine the pain of loosing a child . Laurie is so brave sharing her story. I admire Laurie's strength and determination. Laurie is remarkable. Laurie is incredible. ❤
"I think everyone should get therapy" 100%, It's crazy how the concept of a regular physical health check up with a professional is normal but a regular mental health check up isn't
Funny how millions upon millions of people older than 20-something never needed therapy for generations and generations (it wasn't really "a thing"). Yet the all generally got along perfectly fine. But today, people who experience normal human emotions, bad habits, dark thoughts, etc all feel they need to schedule a therapy appointment. I'm not knocking it completely, I just think its a tool that can be abused and a lot of money can be wasted (their own or from taxpayers) on what are otherwise "typical life experiences." News flash: Almost everyone got bullied in school. Almost everyone has parents that could have been better. Almost everyone occasional has dark or self-harming thoughts (more common with younger people). Almost everyone has had one or many bosses that they absolutely hate and can't tolerate. Almost everyone has experienced profound grief or profound loss of a loved one, either through their passing or from ending a relationship. The list is very long.
Yet, these things are all just the normal experience of being human. Of course there is a threshold whereupon the situation far outstrips a person's ability to cope, but it should be a high bar. For example. there are situations relating to people experiencing PTSD for a sudden shock event that they may not know how to process, or after dealing with a long term hight abusive situation, where they need a therapist to "rewire" their mental circuitry in order to get back to living a normal functioning life. But most of the people today, I would posit, are using therapy as a crutch. It's an expensive habit, just to have someone to talk to that will listen to them.
I know some will find what I wrote irritating or offensive, but it is not meant to be. Every generation is different. Some generations have everyone who is hooked on cigarettes and drinks a little too much to cope. Some generations had their hippies who decided to check out of normal societal norms. And some generations live their lives addicted to social media and need an alternative way to relate to other humans ...enter "therapy". In truth, coping is a human skill, and generally is the way of the world. Different generations deal with different issues and also evolve different coping mechanisms.
A lot of problems in this world could be solved with people getting regular therapy
Because it isn't the same thing. Having a broken bone that can be permanently damaged if it doesn't heal properly isn't the same as a state of mind that can be changed much quicker and easier.
I've had therapy and counselling for grief. I personally didn't find it did anything good for me. That's not to say it won't help others.
@@georgef822 "a stat of mind that can be changed much quicker and easier"
Says it all about your misunderstanding of mental health challenges
@@georgef822Mental illness often takes exponentially longer to heal than physical injuries. Trauma, depression, dissociation, personality disorders, etc don’t heal nearly as fast as broken bones and even many physical diseases. Sometimes they never heal. However therapy definitely won’t help everyone and your experience is certainly valid. Thing is though, most mental issues can’t be fixed quickly as physical things (if they can even be fixed at all) and if mental health is not addressed properly it can ruin lives.
I really enjoy these interviews. Laurie is super introspective, brave and honest. It’s so important to have these conversations and empathise with people suffering from addiction. I’m hoping over time it’ll help eradicate the intense judgement they face. Wishing Laurie peace and happiness ❤️
The rough part is when the addiction is something that's totally a normal part of your life - like spending, sex, eating, etc. All addictions are hard, but it's so challenging when it's something you can't just abstain from. While sex is something you can abstain from, it's just such a core part of living, and something that's not even really viewed as a vice when done outside of addiction. It's viewed as something that people simply need akin to eating and spending money on things
Im celibate the past year an half roughly for different reasons. I find it is essential to restart your own self structure while healing and or just chilling after years of the few relationships from hell (metaphorically speaking).
Good for her for getting help and speaking about her journey. My gran had BPD and she also slept around, cheated on my mum's dad, had more children. She was bipolar too. I saw her when she was on and off her meds, and saw the shift. She was like a little child, mischievous and had her nice moments, but made my mum's life awful. Very sad and toxic.
Probably undiagnosed autistic woman. They all get misdiagnosed as bipolar and bpd first
Ur mum’s dad? Isn’t that ur grandpa lol
@yingyuangue Yeah. What are you confused about?
@@RadicalValkyrie why don’t u just write grandpa instead.
@@yingyuangueWhy do we do anything the way we do? Because we just do.
Right on, great share... All I know for sure is after 5 years in a committed relationship if you're having sex 20+ times a week you two deserve some kind of congressional medal. You know, this feels a lot like grief. There is a death in a sense, but the memories still have a hold. The best thing you can do is keep talking about it to everyone who will listen until you get to a point that the bad/good memories don't control you anymore...
The self-medication theory of addiction suggests that people use substances, such as alcohol and drugs, or the effects of other addictive behaviors, such as eating or gambling, to relieve uncomfortable physical symptoms or emotional states.
Globally, self-medication is an important public health problem, with prevalence ranging from 11.7% to 92% across the world.
All addictions are essentially self medicating when you look deeper. Every single time.
11 to 92 percent LMAOOOO
This lady comes across so lovely, and genuine, I know a few women who were promiscuous when they were younger, but are the most loving committed partners. Everything she said resonated with the experiences I've had with talking to these women. I hope she's found her soul mate, and she is treated with love dignity respect and care. ❤
addiction is powerlessness. Genius words Laurie. Thank you so much! Believe in yourself , start a family , I suppose you will love kids and they will take your PTSD away and try to give them best life by sincerely commiting to them. That will give you happiness I suppose which infinite sex would not fulfil. BEST OF LUCK!!!!
Really well spoken. I think even people simply addicted to dating can relate.💕I hope the best for her!
She's a hero. In a way how person is able to perceive and speak out her issues is a huge beauty here I see. Wish her the best
Absolutely loved and appreciated her honesty. I hope the best for her
I appreciate this ladies honesty and courage - I agree co- dependency is at the root of this - self blame and hate are features also - I wish Laurie all the very best with her ongoing recovery.Very frank too about the effect of early childhood trauma which I’m sure underlies a lot of this pain and disconnection. Connection is the real way to go!
Addictions can come in at many forms, anything can be an addiction, but sex is extremely powerful, there is something in that that can truly turn into a spiral, be careful people.
What an earnest and honest interview. Eye opening.
All the best to you addicts out there, I hope you find the help you need.
Awh wow I too am diagnosed with bpd nobody ever told me it was a love addiction but watching this was a real eye opener I could relate to 99% of what this lady was saying
This is a very sad story. She needs a hug, not to be ridiculed.
15 years ago i had an addiction to Sex, too. Since i had multiple herniated discs my libido is gone…im way happier with this status
omg. I've got dodgy & herniated discs, amongst others spinal issues, I've never considered that this is why I have no libido, is that an actual symptom then?! 🤯
@@edendreamstarot7647 I sympathise with you I've had a herniated disc for almost 10 years it personally puts me in a bad place when I'm not comfortable in my body, it stops me enjoying the simple things in life,. hope you can remedy your spinal issues and move forward.
Hilarious 😂
@@edendreamstarot7647 it can be a Symptom- people who got herniated disc in the lower back often sufferin‘ by a restriction of the libido and or sexual dysfunction. The drugs you take can strenghten the loss of libido..for example opiates….core Training can be helpful just in Relation to the loss of libido…if its completely gone, it can also be difficult for a Partner who wants a sexlife…
@@edendreamstarot7647I don't think having back problems can cause your libido to go down i have degenerative disc disease in L4-L5, bulging disc, lateral tear all in my lower back had this for over 5 years now also arthritis in my hands, feet and other parts also have scholiosis when my disc bulges out. My testosterone feels just as good as it was in my 20s the key to this is diet and exercise.
I was with a woman that was like this. She wanted sex all the time and if she didn't get it felt rejected so would burst into a fit of rage and cause arguments. She was mentally unstable, couldnt handle her emotions and it was really difficult being with her. It's only now that I look back and realise how toxic she was and that she had BPD.
It's impossible to form a stable, secure, drama-free relationship with someone like that... it's years of issues built up often from younger years, so you come to realise that people like that will never change and it's best to just avoid them.
I had a similar experience and I'm sorry you had to go through that. And like you, I try to avoid this type of woman but at the same time, I disagree with you in the sense that everyone can be helped and it will be easy but it's possible. BPD is a difficult condition but it can be managed. I suffer from CPTSD, PTSD and am neurodivergent and thought I was damaged goods for most of my life. Part of me still believes that but that's not true for me and it's not true for people like this lady. They deserve our care, help and support.
Sounds like every woman
@@firbolg a woman with BPD in her 30s cannot be fixed. We're not talking about a teenager here, we're talking about a grown adult- it's almost in her DNA now. You either accept that's who they are or you do not get with them in the first place. In my case it's option B- I now have a criteria for women and if I see red flags like BPD, deep trauma, being emotionally unstable or daddy issues then I'm gone.
Someone else can take the risk. I'm done with toxic, drama fuelled girls.
@@durrclips746who hurt you, man?
Same situation.
Any addiction is really the same in many ways. It’s something you fall back on something that feels incomparably safe and you can forget about everything else, especially so because we tend to get anxious over every little thing like opening the door even many times even subconsciously. People tend to forget about this motivation, the first thing that comes to mind for people who haven’t faced it is that they enjoy something so much that they can’t live without it, that’s not the whole story, it’s so entrenched in their lives that they cannot imagine or cope without indulging in it.
Very brave and courageous lady speaking about addiction. Thank you for your honesty and I sincerely wish you the best in your recovery 🙏..
My experience although I'm a guy, on the emotional level is very similar to hers. I think for many people in a similar situation its so helpful to hear your story. Thank you for sharing this!
I really respect and admire this woman for sharing this with us. She's an inspiration and I wish her all the best 👏👏👏
An inspiration? You have your priorities all disordered.
@hurricaneaquatics I mean in the sense that she's been honest with herself about her addiction, sought help and improved her life. That's inspiring to me.
If only mental issues carried less of a stigma. The issue is that when the bad behaviours are manifesting from any addiction, the assumption from those on the outside looking in is that these are conscious choices coming from a place of rational consideration. They aren't. The compulsion is strong and no one asked to be addicted to anything. We only understand the perspective of the sex addict in this video because she is brave and brazen enough to come out and be vulnerable on camera. I surmise that at the time of all the sex she was having, no one could have known that she had an underlying issue, just the assumption that she was making the conscious decision to be sexually irresponsible. I'm hoping this video brings the affliction of addiction in general into focus and to give us pause to consider this as a reason and root cause why certain bad behaviours among friends and loved ones may be as frequent and persistent as they are.
to fall in love with your baby and then to lose them completely wrecks your brain 😢
People have no right to judge someone like her...sex is definitely something that can give you a temporary high and is something any girl can easily get addicted to...especially with how a lot of men feel about women nowadays. Good on her for helping herself
I feel ya... sober in AA for 20+ years but the SLAA is a beast... nothing to numb with
She has a lot of courage to speak about her broken childhood and addiction. It’s a sad story, and it’s a fight throughout life afterwards.
I think it’s very sweet that you don’t hold any anger towards your dad and his condition despite how it may have impacted you growing up
I completely relate and understand this lass on every level.
poor lady. She's so brave for speaking out❤
Maybe but Cheating on partners is wrong.Sex addicts need help
before damaging others and themselves
Laurie, keep your chin up, stay positive, be good to yourself, and take care. Legend. Took guts to sit there and bare your soul for all to see.
Knew a girl that lost hers at 14 ☠️ she'd also been with guys 10-20 years older than her at the same age just feel sorry for her eh
Imagine being addicted to sex as an average male….would‘ve been interesting to address the power-gap in terms of accesability and the means of romantic hierarchies.
They have touched on this recently with the ‘addicted to porn’ - he also had a sex addiction.
@@a.m.3567 but that's porn and free not actual sex a sex addiction for an average guy gets expensive fast
Porn is addiction for the average male, if you can't get laid, you watch porn.
I suppose if you're a male sex addict then it's better to look like Brad Pitt or similar.
They spend money on it
It´s very interesting to learn from her experience that different addictions have similar causes.
As a man ive had periods of 2 to 3 years of celibacy after relationships ended as my confidence was so low and I no longer felt even worthy of going out on dates or even speaking to women. There are men out there deleting themselves as a result of not even feeling seen by women. And many of those guys are not even bad looking or unsuccessful in their careers and achievements.
This broad is claiming she had so many options she couldn't help herself lol so absurd.
Ok so you lost all confidence and felt unworthy of going on dates or speaking to women. Did you expect to have sex by magic?
Whenever there are these stories of people with obsessive addictions, they nearly always correlate with having a troubled childhood and upbringing or issues with one or both parents and lack of belonging at home.
It's very unlikely that people with addiction or severe mental health issues have grown up in a naturally loving and nurturing environment with *both* parents present in their whole life. I realise how lucky I am to have two wonderful parents and a safe home environment.
It's the same with crime. The difference in convictions of people from single-parent homes compared to people from two-parents homes is remarkable.
I don't intend to come across as rude but facts are facts.
Wow: sex addiction in a woman can be a reason for her to be staying or returning to an abusive relationship! 🤯 I reslize now I might be this woman.
Bless her, she was very brave to come on and do that interview. Well done, hope it goes well in the future.
I was looking forward to this as it’s an interesting topic, but it lacked so much depth as an interview 😭 All I know is she was addicted to sex. Where did she meet the 20+ guys per week, was it apps, pubs, clubs? Was it hotels, her home, their home? Did her friends notice? Were any of the men dangerous? Did she have any scary moments? Was she able to have any relationships during the 20 years? What was it like to have another child after her first child died? How soon after was it? Did she also have any porn addictions? So much could’ve been asked and wasn’t!
She said she had sex 20 times per week. Could have just been 5 or 6 guys. She could have been an escort. My ex partner who was partly bipolar imo was a secret escort and use to feed it that way, as well as bars, festivals and apps.
"What was it like to have another child after her first child died? How soon after was it?" what is wrong with you jfc. you're just here to get some salacious details. if you're so interested in the topic, then what do her children have to do with it?? she didn't come here to go into details about what she did while addicted, she came here to talk about what that addiction has done to her and what it was like being addicted, and she did just that.
Sex addicts Women need to register so we know who they are. Keeping communities safe and lonely guys laid.
The real story is how she, if she has, accepted responsibility for BPD. Especially the destruction it brings.... addiction is a trait of BPD, no point in treating the sex addiction - and as she said food, when the underlying BPD is not addressed... a VERY hard disorder to treat... IF it is accepted.
Yes I was with a woman who has BPD... her addictions were huge marijuana use, as well as sex, and food... and it manifested itself in violence- complete violence with words, spirit and physical...
Addiction is just the small part of BPD as a way to deal with it... just addressing the addiction is like a band aid, it 'appears' some sort of control... its just a tap to release the real pressure for a time....
She sounds EXACTLY like my ex that had BPD - it's all a front...
'Not your fault, you are not responsible for anyone else....' ... yup...
If we want “people to stop shaming other people for sexuality” we should start by calling it compulsive sexual behaviour (which is a condition listed in the International Classification of Diseases manual) instead than sex addiction (which is not because there is little evidence it is actually an addiction). Anybody can easily become addicted to opioids or nicotine. Compulsive sexual behaviour is overwhelmingly a symptom of an underlying trauma or condition (e.g., BPD). It is so extremely rare to become addicted to sex by having (or watching) too much, scientists are not sure it actually happens.
Can you please explain the different bt the DSM and what you have mentioned? Thanks heaps 😊
She’s still so fresh off her addiction. I wish her the very best and I hope she keeps up with treatment.
I also hope she manages to stay alive and forgives herself…even if her partner were to leave her and she were to temporarily return to her addictive practices.
Sex addiction like so many others carries shame as a major symptom, so I hope she continues working on that.
Kudos to her partner. Living with BPD partners can be extremely difficult but it sounds like they’ve set up great communication and honesty.
I wish her nothing but love…and great healthy sex.
she’s ready to settle down 😊
I had an ex at university who had similar sex addiction traits. We had a fairly toxic relationship and often when we argued, she would storm off and jump into bed with the first person that showed her attention, man or woman. Because I was young and stupid, I kept taking her back. Years later, a friend of hers from her hometown called me and revealed that the first serious relationship she'd ever been in had been an abusive one and this had shaped how she approached relationships going forward. It occurred to me that my ex was stuck in a constant sexual fight or flight mode. When we argued, she would storm off to avoid potentially getting hurt and then have sex with someone else to get that gratification back that she needed.
These people needs hours of therapy to understand how and why they act the way they do. They get to their 30s and still haven't figured out why they're doing what they're doing. The thing is after therapy they still go on to do what they do because they know why they're doing it but it doesn't stop their feelings so they do it anyway. Medication can help but as soon as they go off it they're back to repeating the same cycle over and over.
That's such a bullshit excuse. She was hurting you and did it purposely to punish you after arguments. GTFOH bro don't be a simp.
@@RD24LFG Mate, she was 18 years old. This was over 20 years ago. Maybe as a fully grown adult she's worked through her issues but you can't hold teenagers to the same standards as people with enough life experience to know better
@@CaptainHowdy-mw9vc Nah bub 18 year olds died on the beaches of Normandy to stop the extermination of a race and Fascism. We need to get BACK to treating 18 year olds as what they are. ADULTS.
@@CaptainHowdy-mw9vcyes you can. If you don't think a teenager doesn't know better than to cheat, you're brainwashed. She knew very well what she was doing. That's their MO, they want to punish you and they don't with what they know hurts you the most.
glad that she understand herself and progressing out of addiction. yea it's meant for connection and intimacy that she is craving , later became an addiction.
I agree with her when she said addiction is us trying to find that connection
In therapy, I correlated my sex addiction with my sexual abuse that happened in my childhood. (Baby reindeer depicted it accurately for me)
I've never been the kind of person who could sleep around, I love sex don't get me wrong but I'm very relationship focused, I've never gone out looking for casual hook-ups, it's never been a priority to me. It's sad to see that some can succumb to this, I do have a rather high drive so I guess it's a bit similar but it's always focused around somebody I love, I need that connection in order to enjoy it and want it. I once tried a 3 way and I just couldn't with the other person, they weren't ugly and didn't have anything wrong with them, It just wouldn't stay at attention but my partner I had no issue at all
Consumption of porn combined with low sexual market value is a factual reality as well. It's the closest a person can get to sexual satisfaction, which is a normal human tendency and need. But one cannot dispute its bad parts, the toxic effect it can have if taken to extremes, in the form of addiction. I think the person dealing with low SMV has to constantly practice gratitude to fill the void of rejection. Try doing for others, as well as treating yourself kindly and ignore that inner voice which tells you you're bad or not good enough.
Now days this is a career. Not just a Job
One of the most inspirational podcasts I ever saw x
I am so sorry your son passed away. That is terrible!
Addiction of all types does stuff to the brain, and I'm so glad she's free from it and now has the support she needs
And I’m 18 and still haven’t even had my first kiss yet :’)
Much love to this woman tho
You will
Do not worry too much, nothing worth troubling yourself about.
There will be plenty of time for that. Enjoy your youth and live life to the fullest.
Shave, brush teeth, chew gum
That’s a good thing
Addiction to anything that isn't a physically addictive substance is already a particular struggle in itself. People can be generally very ignorant to how we can rewire our bodies' reward systems etc. through behaviours and constant exposure alone. The idea of being addicted to something that isn't giving you "cravings" or substances altering your mental state is incomprehensible to many people, sadly.
You're so brave las.. i hope u continue to fight your struggles.
The mind is the strongest tool of the body. Build it , Grow it, Maintain it, and you will overcome all obstacles.
DONT BE WEAK.
YOU SHOULD ONLY BE SAD FOR DEATH OR LOSS OF MONEY. EVERYTHING ELSE IS A DISTRACTION.🤷♂️
Like it or not
THIS MAY CHANGE YOUR LIFE
currently on day 2 of my celibate journey 🙏🏻
My 7th year of celibacy
My 24th year.
… I’m 24.
@@true1158😂
@@true1158 Sad to hear that, but I am talking about VOLUNTARY celibacy
@@baroquersame 😂
it’s funny, when I was younger I was desperate to experience it but was too shy & anxious to initiate it
Now I know how to get it & even been offered but am no longer desperate
Still tempted here & there but I rather wait for when I get a wife that I’ve built a mutual relationship with that’s not just skin deep you know?
Not someone with an addiction but this really resignated with me when I went through something similar in my early 20s and how it stems from feeling undeserving of happiness and needing to be punished - definitely makes me feel understood as someone who also has PTSD 🤍🤍🤍
I get that completely ❤
Thank you for sharing xxxx sex addiction is real . Im glad you have found a way out of it
My ex-gf was a sex addict. It was actually horrible. Our relationship consisted entirely of her focussing on getting herself off. No interest in love, care, or thought for anyone else. Constantly fighting, mistrusting each other, and barely even talking at home. Then, we would have sex before bed every night. It was a disgusting existence and once that she has replicated in every relationship before and since.
I want a gf like that 😂
@@TheBb6preludeyou say that until you a horrible reality like that
@@TheBb6preludeyou absolutely do not. It's a very lonely existence because that person doesn't love you and sex means nothing to them.
Brave woman for opening up
One thing is judging her by your personal standards or being rude and disrespectful to her... But at the end of the day she still must be accountable for her choices. Having no control over impulsive behaviors and doing what feels good at the time still a personal choice. Not everybody has the same sense of morality about this. But sex is actually the only thing in a relationship that is expected to remain exclusive. You can still trust other people, you can make plans with other people, you can have fun or hang out with other people... But you're not supposed to sleep with other people. As a man you can't ignore the shame that would bring upon you, finding out that your mother, your daughter, your sister, or your wife, has been shagging 20 random guys a week for a long time. Not quite the same thing as somebody struggling to quit smoking or drinking in my eyes. Also the most common issue on people with BPD is the lack of accountability. Good on her but terrible to whoever ends up with her...
Don't hate me i've had a rough childhood too...
Some of these comments are why I “🙄” when SOME men do the whole “nobody cares about men’s mental health, or make loneliness epidemic only women’s” because at this point, you don’t care about both your own and/or each others mental health- it’s not everyday joke about people’s health and well-being because if it was done to you, you play that same broken record…
When she mentioned flu symptoms, it reminded me of those people I've seen doing some sort of "cleansing" from drugs. Like her, I wasn't expecting the same to be applied to her since hers is different.
As a psych major, I find her dad's story to be depressing.
As a non psych major, i also find her dads story depressing
Brave woman for shining a light in something that a lot of people find so difficult to speak about.
Also, is it me or is Laurie is the spitting image of a young Patricia Arquette from the True Romance?)
(Oops, missed the word “movie” in there)
she’s amazing what an inspiration for sharing
I’m post menopausal and my Libido has tanked, yes sex is all well and good when you have the desire, but when it’s gone, you just have to accept it.
There are medical intervention. Hormone treatments can likely restore your libido, as well as improve other health outcomes.
damn....
‘ you can’t just cut sex out like you can with alcohol ‘ - you have to slowly reduce your alcohol intake so you don’t go into withdrawals which can be deadly??? ( my uncle was an alcoholic for many years )
i think what she meant is you can go through life without alcohol regardless of how you go about eliminating it... but going a lifetime without any intimacy is not what most people could deal with.
And not everyone needs or wants sex.
Agreed it can be deadly. I know someone who died of alcohol withdrawal. They were 49, highly functioning alcoholic, working, earning good living, having beautiful house, good cars. Every night drinking heavily. A some point lost job for couple of months. Tried to turn their life around. (Also it was a very disturbed personality). So they decided to quit kind of cold turkey. One day he was going through very rough withdrawal. He was watching tv, his 20 year old son was visiting. He begged his son to buy him a beer. His son said No, you’ve bedn doing so well sober, I m not helping you start drinking again. And he left the house, living the guy by himself. He watched some tv, was unwell so wdnt to kitchen to fix some tea or hot soup or something like that, and just collapsed and died on that kitchen floor. From rapid alcohol withdrawal. Had his son gotten him that god darn beer, he would have not died that night.
And for sex, yes you can live without it, celibacy is doable. It is the eating addiction that is something you just cannot physically quit or you die of starvation, but sex you can live without.
This is just a person trying to excuse their actions while garnering sympathy. While at the same time, doesn't know what they're talking about. People will say anything
@@YesItsReallyKeithor she meant what she said
Good on you for sharing, Laurie ❤
That is really hard to hear, she suffered a lot...
I think we all struggle this issue is in every part of the world with people it's up to you how you tackle this issue I have learned to keep myself busy and involved in variety of different activities and it then keeps my mind away from this I have worked alot on myself it's tough for people and I understand this woman's concerns aswell
I relate to her struggles a lot. Glad to see she got better.
Sex addiction is judged more harshly because the elephant in the room is that it's the most intimate thing you could ever do with another human being, and you're distributing your soul amongst all the sexual partners you've had. It is a wholesale disrespect and disregard of the most sacred and soul bonding relationship behavior.
blablabla
That's the social morality that gets projected on top of a biological drive. The implicit message is that sexuality has a specific purpose or "meaning", which must be reflected in your behaviour or you are deserving of shame. Such rigid classifications prevent people from engaging with each other as human beings, rather than conveyers of "virtue" or "social meaning". And when turned inward they prevent self healing, which requires radical honesty.
@@williambarton5681spoken like someone who doesn't participate in society.
@@ticket2space I have everything I need in my cabin in the woods.
Just like any addiction, it's the symptoms of the real problems and trauma