The #1 MINDSET To Stop Insecurity & Anxious Attachment From Ruining Your Relationships
HTML-код
- Опубликовано: 14 июл 2024
- How To Stop Insecurity From Ruining Your Relationships
Click here to learn how we can work one-on-one together in a coaching partnership: claytonolsoncoaching.com/serv...
Women - Attend My Free Masterclass - The 3 Keys To Attracting & Keeping Right Man: www.claytonolsoncoaching.com/3...
Of the clients I work with, these are very common questions...
How to deal with insecurity?
How to stop feeling anxious?
how to stop being insecure?
how to stop relationship anxiety?
listen if you're experiencing insecurities in a relationship, know that you're not alone. Learning how to stop being anxious in relationship means shifting your mindset. In this video, we take a deep dive into what creates relationship anxiety and feeling insecure in relationship. We then talk about finite vs. infinite games and how this can help you feel more confident and more secure in your love life. 
Развлечения
If you're struggling in your relationship or on the verge of breaking up, watch this training I created called The Relationship Breakthrough Training to turn things around: ruclips.net/video/nXH0d9nkQH0/видео.html
Thanks for the insights
I’ve managed my anxiety for nearly a year now. Recently I discovered relationship anxiety as it manifested in my life. Thanks to everything I’ve done to manage anxiety in my everyday life, I knew to turn inward and do the work to instead of demanding my partner reassure me everyday. I did let him know that I was anxious and it would supportive to hear reassuring words but ultimately I know that is my job and my job alone to do the work. Journaling, meditating, trusting that the universe sent him because he’s who I asked the universe for. So yes, get support from your partner when you’re feeling scared about if the relationship will fail. Allow them to give you reassuring words BUT do the work yourself and meet your own needs
Well said.🎉happy journeys
Thank You ❤
I am in teenage relationship so I don't if I can trust him
I feel like we won't be there in eachothers future he has different goal in life where as I have another for now on I am just going with flow but anxiety is hitting me up
Yeah I had no idea where to start until reading this..
Create security in yourself first! Yes! Thank you. And, being aware that others (potential partners) may not be there yet. Have compassion for potential partners but be firm in maintenance of self security.
True
Perfectly said. Maybe them seeing you live your life that way will inspire them to want to do the same.
I way i understand it is infinite game is like the relationship we have with our family and friends. There is no end game, we have no real goals to be with them. We be with them because we want to. We don’t demand anything from other than respect and companionship. So if we dont have an expectations on our significant others, we might build a strong bond of friendship with them too.
This is really good, thank you!
How is it that I’ve never heard anyone else explain this concept before? I needed to hear this! Thank you!!!
Hello, I watched this video about 8 times 5 weeks ago, I was struggling with immense relationship anxiety and this video has changed my life. I’ve always read people commenting on videos about how life changing the advice in the video was but nothing has resonated with me like that until I saw this video. I now have a healthier “take it day by day” approach and don’t put my sense of security in the hands of my relationship and it has been a game changer and my relationship has never been so good in the year and a half we have been together. Thank you so much! 🌞 don’t let your anxiety destroy your relationships people it’s not worth it.
This is personal power and independence! Remembering that I can’t own another person. Each of us is on a journey to our best and the possibilities are endless for us all😃 I shifted some years ago. I was married and now I’m divorced. I am now single, celibate, creative and loving life.
How did you do that, Clayton Olson??? This is EXACTLY what I needed and exactly at this time, today. And I don't think anybody could have explained this any better. You read my mind- as far as my questions that were in my mind. And you provided the best possible answer. Thank you for everything you do.
Hehe - happy that my timing was on point.
@@claytonolsoncoaching ĺ
Omg!!!! Clayton, spot on, it's good to know am on track with infinite thinking.😉🥰🙏
@@claytonolsoncoachingthe video was great, but the “hehe” made me subscribe.
I am in the midst of getting over my insecurities. Seven months in to the best relationship of my life with a man who has been extremely patient with me. It is so hard to understand this content with your head intelligently but to respond emotionally. It leads to more self doubt and loathing. It is definitely a process worth going through because at the end of the day patterns repeat . Thank you for another way of looking at things .
Hi Jeanie. I get jealous over whether his exes are better looking than me or not. I hate it so much.
Hi there, I was just wondering if you have advice, things that have worked or didnt after this long?
Thanks for making this. I may have just sabotaged a relationship largely due to my anxiety. While I may or may not get a chance to salvage it, I need a shift in mindset to avoid this sort of thing in the future. I'm sure I'll be watching and rewatching this in the coming weeks.
Crap, I feel called out. I noticed things not working out like they should be or rather me joining my partner in his behaviour but not understanding where that came from! This just made things click. Thank you! ❤🤗🤗
Hopefully called out in the best of ways. :)
Wow. This is insanely enlightening. I kept replaying what you said about letting the vision of the relationship guide your actions, instead of letting your partner's actions guide your actions; something I definitely am getting more and more conscious of NOT doing after almost 30 years of doing that. It's ego-driven for sure, and more about giving to get and score-keeping as you say. A lot of emotional withholding and transaction-based thinking. I am more on the avoidant side, so even when I feel an overwhelming fear or anxiety, I protect myself by just acting aloof and not showing my true vulnerability, and I would want to be the dumper before I am the dumpee, essentially. But this space of infinite thinking that you talk about is definitely a much more empowering way to be and approach relationships. I can't tell you how much you've changed my life in every way. Thank you sooo much, Clayton.
Same!!!! It’s brilliant!!
Beautifully said! Thank you. In other words, trust the process, trust myself, grow in each experience. And know that the most important and the best relationship I'll ever have is with myself. Just then will I be able to make the most of all the other relationships. : ) Have a fantastic day
Pure gold ! Never heard of this concept makes perfect sense to constantly evolve learning all the time looking forward together without false milestones which ultimately mean little day to day . Thank you
Wow, this moved me. I will utilize this and rewatch it whenever I feel stuck. I have been dealing with crippling relationship anxiety and I feel so much better after this. You've gained a subscriber for life.
Sometimes rewatching these videos help so much. It calms me down and helps sooth me and empowers me so much to work on self growth. Thank you so much.
Clayton, I want to thank you so much for sharing this perspective. I was experiencing terrible inner stomach insecurity and listening to your video around 6 minutes alleviated the feeling I’ve been experiencing in my new relationship during the last 3 weeks of my life.
Thank you so much, watching your video just made something click and I don’t have to feel the insecurity I’ve been harvesting; I can exert that energy in a different way.
This is amazing. I am a finite thinker and i always felt like my thinking helped me from entering bad relationships. Now i can see the difference when you explain that yeah maybe being finite in relationships is not such a good idea. We should love without boundaries and giving without expectations.
This is some of the best advice I’ve ever gotten outside of therapy! I definitely am guilty of game playing, tracking power, and thinking in terms of the results rather then the process. I’ll definitely keep all of these in mind!
“Relationships is not a bank account that you are withdrawing from, it is a platform for you to play a game and be your best self." DAMN.
This is absolutely brilliant, you hit on everything I needed to hear! Which seems to be the case with a majority of the people in the comments. Thank you so much!
Spot on! Exactly the boat I'm in & you just shed light into it. I'm defo finite & my guy's infinite, but tbh shifting mindsets is prolly the hardest to change as human beings. Thank you Clay, you're a star! Vid saved.
Awesome.
Love this! Focusing on the quality of the commitment. I often think of competition in most cases like a disease that causes suffering not just in relationships but in life.
That’s an extremely unique concept. I realize I’ve unknowingly put goals on my relationship and it creates huge tension. Focusing on the present and keeping things moving forward in healthy ways without an end goal makes so much more sense. Don’t worry about what the future holds. 💡
Brilliant, compassionate, and mature advice. The ultimate goal of a relationship is wholeness and growth for each person. The bond will ultimately suffer from behavioral strategies. Operating from a giving place, with patience and empathy will yield permanent results regardless of the short term outcome. Thank you Clayton.
Dude this video is helping my partner and I so much. I listen to esther, gottman, real, alain but this is so simply put and calls out all the bullshit. After listening a few times I made a visual poster and put one up at my partners and one up at my place and it is helping us more than all the posters that have come before lol. We've kind of made it into a game where we call out that "part" of the other person is having an insecurity wave and it helps me then to pull out boundary cards if we cant make it through the conversation. We really love each other and have so much fun together so to pinpoint what was tearing us down has meant so much to me. Thank you. Been listening to you and Jack for years since I was single. You guys are the best!!!! Have a great week 🌻
👍 Well said and so true ! My last relation was that finite thinking and was just a catastrophe. Thanks to you I can see that l engaged myself to that infinite thinking. No way I will lose myself in that kind of anxiety anymore. My plan is exactly to be in, not to have, and enjoy my next connexion. So I am on the right track !! 👍🙏❤
Man Olson, your content is fire dude. Thanks for being consistent in your delivery. Nice work.
🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥
I am in transition from finite to infinite. Thank you for laying it out so clearly. You are so amazing and just what I need in my life right now ❤
Glad it helped
OMG THAT WAS TOTALLY AWESOME VIDEO!! THANK YOU SO MUCH ☺️🙏🏾 my only thought is PLEASE can you record more on this topic this is such a valuable insight, I have been working to set myself free from anxious attachment style and this is such a huge key. Please more videos that do a deep dive into Infinite thinking, I would love to hear more of your insights and practical tips on how to shift ones thinking ...
I can't believe how much this resonated with me and so in depth with what is going on in my personal life. Resonates and hits home for me. Yes the insecurity is there, and trying get past that every day. with past relationships..Everyday is learning experience. Thank you for this in video so informing.
You're very welcome. Thank you for expressing this.
Clayton, I love your infinite thinking and wisdom! You are the best.
Oh my goodness, I really needed to hear this! What a wake up call this has been. Thank you xx
finite thinking isn’t the end, this helps with foward moment, and it’s up to you to be able to make the growth - thank you for teaching me that, I already had the knowledge of finite thinking but I just looked at it as the as ending or something I would have to deal with, bringing in more anxiety. May abundance come to you all around you
I’m just now seeing this content and Clayton this is such eye opening information. I recognize that I am in the midst of this transition for myself into an infinite mindset. I am so thankful to have seen this in order to give it a construct /definition that can be explained to another. The current guy I’m seeing is someone who has spawned some of this self realization and knowledge. In large part, he already has the infinite mindset and at first I was offended by it- I was seeking labels/the goal in mind - when I quickly reflected and said, “let me apply and adopt this type of mindset.” I’ve done some internal work and this video helps me visualize and understand the rest of this concept. Thank You!
Great explanation! Thank you for taking the time to share this with us all
Hi there Clayton! I got wind of you from Helena Harts’ channel and id just like to say that this concept of finite thinking vs infinite thinking completely changed my relationship and maybe even my life. Learning this concept came at the perfect time in my life when I was truly at a crossroads in my relationship with a man I deeply love and I can truly say it is saving the relationship. I no longer feel the need to control him or gain some type of power in the relationship. I realized that the ultimate vision of our relationship is what matters most to me, not the tedious mishaps we all as humans sometimes fall in.. I didn’t realize I subconsciously crave that deep connection and from now on, that is where I am putting my focus and energy, that and who I can become in the relationship and my vision for my life... THANK YOU! YOU SAVED ME! 🌟
Wow. So excellent to hear and you've made my Thanksgiving Day so far. Keep me updated on how things progress and if you'd like to take this concept even deeper into your life, send me an email. clayton@claytonolsoncoaching.com
Much love to you and your relationship.
Wow! 😮 Thank you for this 🙏. I’m definitely a finite thinker and it has caused many problems in my relationships. I’m so happy I came across your video.. it was a true eye-opener.
So needed this right now!! I am in a relationship with the most wonderful man i've ever known (i'm 37 and have had my fair share of not nice men) and i'm more in love than i've ever been. But i'm ruining it with my insecurity. I am self aware enough now to know that that is what i'm doing but i had no idea how to turn it around. Now i know that i've been playing the "finite game" i feel like i can start to find a way out of it and into the "infinite game" which is definately where i want to be with this man. Thank you so much for making this video 🙏
You are so right. Competition. Overthinking. WOW! Accurate.
Hi Clayton I suffer with relationship anxiety I was only thinking recently that I used to watch a lot of your videos and missed them and here you are today glad to have you back appreciate your content thankyou ❤️😊🙏
Thank you so much for this video. I found myself nodding yes at my incorrect, anxious behavior.
You always show the big picture. I like that. It's a big life. Why not enjoy all of it? Thanks for your insight. Sometimes I need a reminder. This was a good one, and it came at just the right time.
What a relief to think this way - lots of thx.
This vid was an eye opener for me. I'm so glad I could understand what I've been doing unconsciously, it brought me so much understanding finite mind set. I wanna change this...and i will. I appreciate you Clayton, thank you so much ❤️
I appreciate you. Thank you
Seeing people outside of the rsp as inspiration is the deepest insight I take from this video. I will have to watch this a couple of times to internalize the messages. Great video. Thank you 🙏💗
Yes! Glad you took that.
100% and the way I have found to do this is self-forgiveness and real responsibility for where I’ve come from to merit a given result, and to keeping it moving / flowing with the intention to know oneself no matter what.
This is the best relationship advice video I have ever watched! Thank you!
I didn’t realize I was doing this. Thank you so much for diving down and really analyzing the difference between both thought process. You do amazing work. Thank you for your craft!
This is beyond awesome! Incredibly helpful !
thank you so much for this Video!!!! needed this... i am 'currently' in the finite thinking in my relationship. A few months ago i felt great and happy.. definetly was in the infinite thinking mode. Want to get back tgere again... idk why/how i am feeling insecure atm... my bf and i are arguing alot lately and it's not easy! Clayton!!! THANKS SO MUCH FOR ALL THAT YOU DO. YOU HELP ME SO VERYMUCH!! Greetings from AUSTRIA VIENNA in Europe 🇦🇹 stay safe🙏
Beautiful. Thank you
I literally needed this.
You’re a bad ass dude! Thanks infinitely.
Finite vs Infinate thinking is why I use to perceive myself so different from others... I’m often pulled into control dramas, as I’m 20 turning 21 November. Going through my breaking away from the parents but in an EMBODIED way❤️🔥💥
Wow why isn’t this man mainstream? We all need him in our lives..I love how he compares this to finite!!! Very creative
Thank you, Sky. 🙏💙
This video helped me with fear, in general! Thank you for bringing a new perspective to my life that I really needed during this season.
Perfect
Sir, you are called for this. Thank you, and God bless your mind and spirit with His wisdom.
Honestly, I'm enlightened like other veiwer who finally find out what's really dragging us to anxiety and sabotage the relationship that has been going on. Though the most difficult thing to do is how to change our FINITE thinking pattern which has grown roots from heart, and turn it into INFINITE.
So glad I took the time to listen to this - this helped me so much
As an finite thinker due to childhood trauma, i have come from a deep rooted, anxiety and insecurity in adult relationships. The neglect, abandonment and rejection i experienced as a child has pushed me to seek security, to be given reassurance, to ask for commitment through a label. To seek externally , rather than internally. I have suffered greatly from these behavioral cycles, but i now feel blessed to have gained the self awareness to go to work on unpicking this kind of determent behavioral pattern that leaves me time and time again feeling alone and sad. We are all on a journey of self discovery and it is through others, shared and gained relationship experiences (Negative or positive) that we learn to love ourselves on a deeper level. Acceptance is absolute key, through self awareness comes the truth of authentic self, compassion and empathy for others. I have learned that it is vital to fill the empty feeling inside of me with self love and to not seek external validation. Each relationship i have experienced has lead me to that realization and has helped my self love grow. To fully grow we have to let go. I recently over the past six months found myself in a relationship where the man i am with thinks in an infinite way, it is only through these videos that i have been able to find a label to these avenues of thinking. I am sincerely grateful and i am finding it liberating to understand that i can now work on turning my finite thinking ways, into a more infinite, less restricting mind view. Noting is set in stone. All things shall pass and most certainly change is enviable. Through practicing infinite thinking i can settle into the moment better without expectation and ride the wave of living. I am a work in progress. I will be until the day i die.. Thanks for this invaluable information Clayton :)
I can relate to this thanks for sharing
@@justinelumsdaine8265 My absolute pleasure. It's important to connect through our experiences. I wish you all the very best. ❤️
Hello clayton I just wanted to say thank you for this video.. I’ve been dealing with a lot of relationship anxiety even tho i just found out what it was at first I thought i was just an odd person but come to realize relationship anxiety really is a thing.. once again thank you for this video because you really opened my eyes into how to fix relationship anxiety i cant wait to replay this video 100 more times
This is so eye opening! Thank you very much! Your teaching has truly helped me. 🙏🏻 you truly have a way with words and explaining things. Thank you for your help
OMG! This is one of the best explanations I’ve ever heard.
I never comment, but this is so amazing. Why am I just now hearing about this? This can change my life!!!
Hi Brandy, so happy you found this and loving your comment. You're just hearing about this now because I don't know others talking about it in this capacity.
Ahhhmm..thanks for this. You opened up my mind. Thanks😍
🔥
Excellent work. I’m an infinite dating a finite for 4 months now. I’m almost at my wits end. I’m Constantly proving myself and defending my personal self, and we’re finding little room for anything else. 🥴
This perfectly explains my latest breakup and why I was so confused by it. He was a finite game player and I was always an infinite thinker naturally. Didn’t really understand how people approached relationships this way until now. Thanks
Thank you very much for this new perspective towards relationship, and how I can redirect my focus to infinite. Very useful information.
The last problem about making someone a threat was exactly what I was doing thankyou really helped me,,
I wish I could meet a guy like you, Clayton. You help me find a quiet, calm, confident place within myself, where I am aware of how much love I have to offer. Thank you. ❤
That is the sweetest comment I've seen in a while. Thank you!
It's the first time in this channel and it hits the spot. I'm in the finite in every relationship. I need to change so I would not ruin my next relationship. 😔
Thanks for creating this video!
Clayton, You really should have written a relationship book based on the infinite vs finite theory. Out of hundreds of relationship/breakup videos, this one cut the deepest for me. It really stuck a nerve and pulled roots out; where ive been going wrong for so many years with 20+ girls. This theory has changed my mindset and perception and I feel it has uplifted me and taken so much weight off of my shoulders. Thank you.
Love hearing that. It’s in the works man. And, if you want to take it deeper and do some of the transformational work that instills this philosophy so it is embodied, email me and let’s talk. Clayton@claytonolsoncoaching.com
Thank so much man really appreciate the advice
You’re welcome brother
Everything you said is spot on🙌
I needed this so bad...I'm in a LDR and it's been getting to me so much knowing that I can't see what she's doing over there. I'll admit I've had the "finite" mindset for a while but I'll do better from now on....Thanks for this information, this is just what I needed.
Im in a ldr too i feel ur pain weve got this x
I’m definitely a finite thinker for sure ☺️
Appreciate your honesty
This is an amazing video! Thanks!
Thank you so much, this is healing 🙏
Thanks you so much for your mails and vidéos, specially This one. And yo are so Easy to understand... wish you the best in your Life. Salutations from France
Thank you this opened my mind to infinite thinking
So great!! Amazing presence, really inspiring
I have always suspected my wife was cheating on me. We have been married for 12 years now and its been a smooth ride until last year when she changed and started seeing other men. A friend of mine linked me up with a great hacker ultimater Hack who helped me hack into her phone, I had complete access to her phone right on my device and I could monitor all her activities for the past 2years and also have access to new notifications, her location, call logs, text messages and all. I was left with no other choice.I loved my wife so much and I just dont know why she chose to betray me, I have been a good husband and never for once cheated on her. I tracked her down to a hotel where I found her with another man . You can contact them at ultimatehack003 at gmail or Whatsapp +17202954268 or text and call them directly on the same number.They helped me get access into her phone without even touching her phone.I have enough evidence against my wife now and I am thinking of Filing for divorce. I want advice from men and other women on here, should I give her another chance because of our kids or file for divorce ? We have a 9 months old baby.
I need to watch this at least 100 more times.
Thank u for the FBI agent that let this be in my timeline
Haha. Does this mean you really needed this vid?
This was extremely helpful- thank you
Bro this has helped me so much thank youuuuu
Man such a big help. I'mma be the first to admit that I'm a real insecure person. And your video has somewhat help set the platform for a change in my mindset. I'm still trying to internalize finite vs infinite thinking but this definitely helped!
Hell yeah. Keep at it. This is the work I do with people in my one-on-one work. If you’d like professional support in installing this way of being in your life send me an email and we can connect. Clayton@claytonolsoncoaching.com
So freaking true… sometimes i really feeling lost… especially when you know those things you’re telling…. Prop is stress hormone… feel’s the body so hard to let go of that feeling…
I’ve been looking for an answer such as this… the black and white thinking gets exhausting for me & to view situations from a much broader/open perspective will be a new approach for me. Thank you
Impressive! Definitely see this through a new set of lenses...Thank you
Thank you so much, sir.
That is amazing! It might could have just saved my marriage. Thank you.
This is SO good
Infinately absolutely, I used to think, and you would think a relationship is about being in each others corner, against the world but Society gears people up to think they are another "battle" to wage through, personally I blame the mobile phone, has been the biggest killer or relationships, because no one has any" space" anymore, it can be used as a tool for hounding someone, or conversely not calling etc,
Great post, - is about who you become through the benefit of having a relationship,
Wow, you really have an amazing concept. It really is helping me. Even your previous videos. Bravo!
Happy to help!
Love this!!!!
u sir just changed my life
especialy the last point! thank you
I needed to hear this, thank you
Thanks Tom. Wishing you a calm mind and clear heart.
dude... you are a gold mine, Clayton. Thank you,.. just love your content!!! :) ... You could probably divide this into 3 or more segments if you wanted to even.... to expound on stuff, give even more examples of how the bad mindset plays out, vs the good mindset. Because every sentence is loaded with good info, it takes a moment to let it sink in! :p . Very eye opening. ... (even to this relationship advice nerd. lol)
I think you're right about dividing this into more content. I may do that.
You are so right Christine!