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7 Powerful Ways to Help Your Client Overcome Relationship Insecurity

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  • Опубликовано: 18 авг 2024
  • Insecurity damages, and can even destroy, relationships, The fun, love, peace of mind and true intimacy of a relationship can be ruined by insecurity, where the insecure person will see problems where there aren't any. What do you do when a client is so insecure that the insecurity itself is the only problem in the relationship?
    It can be tempting to try and reassure the insecure client but for their partner, constantly reassuring someone who can't be reassured is exasperating and futile.
    In this video I'll talk about how I eased the anxieties of a client, Holly, so she could start to feel more secure and overcome her relationship insecurity, and give the relationship room to 'breathe'.
    Highlights:
    (03:17) Why it's important for you to be careful what you say to your client
    (4:27) An exercise you can use to help your client distinguish between reality and fantasy
    (8:43) How to stop the toxic habit of 'mind reading' (here, using the analogy of a garden)
    (10:21) An exercise that helped Holly see how her partner was different from her abusive ex-partner
    (11:19) Help them to trust properly
    If you found this video helpful then please leave comment and hit the 'like' button - and don't forget to subscribe for future videos.
    All notes and references can be found on the original article over on the blog:
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    ---------------------------------------
    ++About Mark Tyrrell++
    Psychology is my passion. I've been a psychotherapist trainer since 1998, specializing in brief, solution focused approaches. I now teach practitioners all over the world via our online courses.
    More about me here:
    ▶︎www.unk.com/bl...
    ++Social channels++
    Facebook (practitioners):
    ▶︎ / uncommonpractitioners
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Комментарии • 47

  • @joshhodson1798
    @joshhodson1798 4 года назад +23

    This guy is amazing

  • @andreasouthworth7275
    @andreasouthworth7275 2 года назад +4

    Dear Mr. Terrell, Wow is all I can say! Your birds eye view of relationship insecurity is breathtaking! I will turn to these most excellent tools to create my own emotional security. What a gift. Thank you.

  • @benjaminstrauber2313
    @benjaminstrauber2313 2 года назад +2

    This is some of the most powerful information I have ever seen

  • @pricesteve8948
    @pricesteve8948 4 года назад +12

    Personally I like to do some in-trance inner child work with insecure clients. Setting up a self soothing reassurance loop in the subconscious has dramatic beneficial effects.

    • @bertzerker747
      @bertzerker747 4 года назад +1

      hey, I think you mean atleast you get their attention..🙏💪

  • @joeyfdh9890
    @joeyfdh9890 Год назад +2

    My only insecure client is me but this is a very helpful video. Thanks!

  • @daniellejones1460
    @daniellejones1460 Год назад +3

    When my husband looks at other women in front of me I start experiencing feelings of insecurity. My insecurities don’t stem from my imagination. My insecurities are physically tangible. What does one do in my case?

  • @withhedi
    @withhedi 3 года назад +5

    thank u so much for this video you really helped me 🥺

  • @dancinginthepurplereign4126
    @dancinginthepurplereign4126 2 года назад +3

    Thank you for sharing. This is literally my current situation after having only abusive relationships.
    I met a good guy and I pushed him away.
    Lucky for me he came around.

  • @srishtisinha7295
    @srishtisinha7295 2 года назад +3

    I really appreciate your videos! They've really helped me become more reflective, not only as a trainee counsellor but also as an individual. Thank you :)

  • @richardwall2330
    @richardwall2330 5 лет назад +13

    Yet again a very informative and interesting video Mark.
    I have become an avid follower of you and your chanel Really impressed with the way put the information over !!
    Im not a counselor or therapist but in the past derived help from them .Im sure you provide help and guidance for us all ! Many thanks Mark .

  • @KevinStCroix
    @KevinStCroix 2 года назад +2

    #6 “Trust is faith, not certainty”

  • @bertzerker747
    @bertzerker747 4 года назад +4

    Mark Tyrrell 'Brilliant' Knowledge 🙏

  • @theodorusrexicon5760
    @theodorusrexicon5760 5 месяцев назад +1

    Brilliant.

  • @backspaceblogger
    @backspaceblogger 3 года назад +3

    This was a goodie. Well done and thank you! Very useful.

  • @zigtgut1
    @zigtgut1 2 года назад

    This segment aided with ideas/questions that might help my client whose need for control is undermining her marriage. Without completely dismissing her desire for husband to enter into couple's therapy, prompt her to unpack any pervasive imaginings she might be conjuring if they don't agree to see a therapist; what exactly are the issues that you believe can only best be approached with a profeaaional; how can the 2 of you begin to talk about identified and agreed upon topics, first, as a couple and then, possibly, with a clinician. Your approach is very thought provoking. Many thanks!

  • @jamesvanstonejvcoaching8171
    @jamesvanstonejvcoaching8171 Год назад +1

    Very good Thanks Mark great strategies

  • @daisychain914
    @daisychain914 2 года назад +2

    The only trouble with this is it excludes intuition. Of course often it’s just imaginings and that needs to be put in its place but sometimes intuition comes in subtly as a nagging feeling, imaginings or thoughts that something isn’t quite right. We can easily gaslight ourselves and squash those feelings down only to be proven right eventually. Developing awareness of the difference between imaginings and intuition is important..

    • @KevinStCroix
      @KevinStCroix 2 года назад

      I felt the same way. Great point. Intuition is the variable that is hard to discern sometimes because of the nature of the situation. But i do trust that instinct because in the past it was always right.

  • @anastasiaudnikova6863
    @anastasiaudnikova6863 2 года назад +2

    Love ❤️ thank you!

  • @renewingmindscounselingcen6444
    @renewingmindscounselingcen6444 3 года назад +1

    Excellent. Very informative and easily implemented. Thank you for sharing your knowledge.

  • @amberrousseau6592
    @amberrousseau6592 3 года назад +2

    How can I learn to relax into trusting someone who has betrayed trust multiple times, but is making a real effort to regain it?

  • @theresaredmon6168
    @theresaredmon6168 2 года назад +1

    This is awesome! Thank you!!!!

  • @rickj895
    @rickj895 2 года назад +1

    Incredible video thanks

  • @crystalslade8056
    @crystalslade8056 2 года назад +2

    Can you do a video on rocd relationship obsessive compulsive disorder as I believe my traits now match this condition and it’s in unbearable

  • @ReperJoe8277
    @ReperJoe8277 3 года назад +1

    Thank you

  • @reddogswy
    @reddogswy 2 года назад +1

    Errrrmegawd the clap! Genius.

  • @georginajovanovic
    @georginajovanovic 4 года назад +2

    This paul character or the one before that are just bit part player's in her self made drama that is really reflecting what she feels about her self and the moment based on her past and family. Even the famillies linerage has suffering and unhealed stuff. They deep down may be hurt little children themselves deep down? It all needs gods love, truth and reflection and re learning how to communicate in new better more joyful ways. Relating is the key, respect and friendship. They are just mirrors of her own self. She needs to heal that first, her family second then anyone else she later chooses. Ultimately doing that kind of work will make her a free woman and she will be drawn to good friends and have a more well rounded life founded on new beliefs, healing and better choices

  • @georginajovanovic
    @georginajovanovic 4 года назад +1

    Something that's missing is to look at the family patterning. The whole bunch will communicate pessimistic ly and that has taught her the insecurity because of the judgement. That critism and judgement turns to self judgement and insecurity patterns. This will change with introducing a better view of one's self

  • @sinisterkitty8411
    @sinisterkitty8411 3 года назад +4

    I wish you were my therapist.

    • @d.s.28
      @d.s.28 5 месяцев назад +1

      Me too.

  • @abbie1221
    @abbie1221 4 года назад +15

    holly is literally me

  • @freedomismine4696
    @freedomismine4696 4 года назад +6

    very interesting tip .... but this technique will work to overcome the insecurities cause by narcissistic partner ... ??

  • @user-fk8rb8ue5h
    @user-fk8rb8ue5h 2 года назад +4

    Want to know how to avoid relationship insecurity? Avoid dating narcissists and women with borderline personality disorder

  • @Madsstuff
    @Madsstuff 3 года назад +3

    I really need therapy but I just can't afford it? Is there anything I can do?

  • @dominator1583
    @dominator1583 2 года назад +1

    What happens if its something that u witnessed & now its stuck In it head & it's not made up ....Just stuck in ur head

  • @Invisibility397
    @Invisibility397 2 года назад

    What are the odds of McNeil? An excellent coworker that one was the same as all the others at the company I worked their 5 years.

  • @palmamingozzi5736
    @palmamingozzi5736 2 месяца назад

    This is advice for a normal relationship not a toxic narcissist one.

  • @r011ing_thunder6
    @r011ing_thunder6 3 года назад

    How long does this generally take to cure relationship insecurity? I can’t imagine it being one session haha

  • @r011ing_thunder6
    @r011ing_thunder6 3 года назад +2

    6:15