How to Start TRUSTING Yourself and Others In A Relationship | Tom Bilyeu & Lisa Bilyeu
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- Опубликовано: 7 апр 2022
- Having trust for others is never easy once you’ve been hurt, and yet is it a must for any relationship to thrive. How do you determine for yourself if you can trust your partner? Tom and Lisa discuss the most effective ways you can begin building trust with your partner and why trust with yourself is the key.
“Trust is the only thing that can help relationships last a lifetime!” -Mohith Agadi
Relationship Theory with Tom and Lisa Bilyeu encourages healthy, loving, life long relationships. Whether you are fresh out of your last relationship, on a break, taking time to heal from a breakup, or looking for ways to strengthen the romance and bond in your current relationship, Tom and Lisa are sharing their 20 years of experience. They’re taking questions and giving relationship advice that will enhance all of your relationships.
SHOW NOTES:
Trust Yourself | Tom explains trusting yourself and reading vibes to determine trust [0:43]
Listen to Your Gut | How to mark your gut instincts and see how things play out [3:18]
Follow the Vibe | How Tom explores weird vibes and discards misreadings when needed [7:00]
Ask Questions | Lisa and Tom discuss how to proceed with questions and getting better [10:57]
QUOTES:
“I wouldn’t be silent, if something made me feel uneasy. If it made me feel uneasy, I wouldn’t engage.” Tom Bilyeu [2:15]
“You have to understand that intuition is trained, and that it becomes intuition once you’ve run enough cycles that you can do it subconsciously.” Tom Bilyeu [9:29]
How did you learn to start trusting yourself and others after being burned previously?
Hurt my wife emotionally we separated for a week and it was the most introspection I have ever done. She graciously took me back but only after I gave her what she always wanted…my open, vulnerable, and honest heart.
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Great conversation but what is not addressed is the person with trauma may feel unsafe often and the mind goes into searching for indiscrepanices because of an overactive nervous system. The mind lies often for the people with a history of trauma. It takes time to navigate and heal past betrayals and trauma.
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Oh my goodness, I'm totally writing down what you said. Seriously, this makes so much sense to me, I just always had a hard time putting it into words. So thanku for sharing
I agree, it can be so hard to separate reality from paranoia when you’re in that state. I think for me the most sensible thing to do in that case is do whatever I can do balance out my emotions, get my nervous system feeling calm again, and when I’m feeling like I’m a little less in that “fight or flight” mode, take a look at what my thoughts are telling me, while understanding that trusting someone may always feel a little scary, as it’s closer to the unknown…😅
Your thought is the issue.. recognise the thought which becomes a behaviour.. it’s not ok to put your insecurities into someone else because of past hurts issues in other relationships whatever.. it’s toxic and destructive to not trust because of past relationships..
Married for 5 years been so scared to open up that it has been detrimental, I’ve had a really difficult upbringing and an even more chaotic adult life. I’m 7 years sober this year just to give an insight of my struggles, I met my wife when we were drinking and she has been superwoman for so long, and it has taken its toll on her. Thank God I finally gave in to trusting my wife in the way I’m supposed to and this video has been great to help push me in the right direction. Vulnerable, open, and honest conversation has been the greatest release I have ever felt. As an former addict I can say that for the first time I’m high on my marriage. Hope we launch forward to success from here. Thank you both so much for being yourselves…..you guys have no idea that you literally save lives. You’re both superheroes in this modern age where marriages fail. Thank you so much.
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Is so true u can train it or choose to avoid it. Your intuition is there to protect you
Do you need help? To fix your broken relationship?
He will definitely help you he have solutions to all problems
This gut instinct is your build, instill inside of you- God given conscious and intuition. Is the ability to discern an energy that comes from other people and it helps you to feel if that energy will effect you in a good or bad way
I love these guys! They are so genuine
Relationships are a gamble plain n simple
Couple goals. I love watching how you guys interact. These videos help me so much! Thank you for sharing!
Thank you for this one. It helped me to detach today and realize I started the craziness and then the explosion came and it was an epiphany
Thank you both for sharing your knowledge and wisdom, appreciate you both. Thank you.
Do you need help? To fix your broken relationship?
He will definitely help you he have solutions to all problems
I am learning so much from you. Thank you ❤️
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lol i have a rule called, the three strikes and you're out rule. First time could be an accident, second time is a coincidence and the third is intentional.-Obviously, you gotta figure it out and look at perspectives- I, apparently, have good intuition, I ignored it but now, am listening to it more often. Its not all of them, just the ones that make logical sense. Like, somethings out of pattern of habit, choice of word, body language or if something is too coincidental. Its a variety of things.
My immediate family was a red flag parade, so yes, like Tom mentioned, i don't know when people are good for me. Sometimes my mom is not good for me, sometimes she gaslights. Often, she's the only one who will help with my kid.
So learning my own self and my own needs was something that i had to work on. Now i am learning to accept people as they are, and to recognize when i am "barking up the wrong tree." Because i have dealt with my family for so long, i dont go out of my way to explain myself unless i am directly asked. If they dont ask, i assume they arent open to it. I have gotten to the point where some people will only believe what they want to believe, and i cannot put any more energy into attempting to express myself.
It has created confusion in the public sphere. I dont know when accusations are a tactic, or when it's something with evidence i am "supposed to" explain. I spent too many months, waiting on my ex husband to believe me. If someone wants to misunderstand, they will.
I want to give people the chance to learn to do better, but most ive encountered arent open to that. I end up hurt because i want to believe the things they lead me to believe.
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Good insight thanks
Trusting in myself is one thing completely different from what the other person is capable of doing to cause harm and emotional damage. Is best to stay single or not take things seriously until you know better.
I've always been forgiving, always tried to talk things out. When l have a doubt l asked just like he advised in the video, but also how do you know they answer with the truth?? Something common about cheaters is they never admit the truth.
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This is sticky, what about folks with cPTSD where nothing ever feels safe? And what about confirmation bias?
Is it even realistic to trust your partner not to cheat in current societal norms
I don’t think most men can handle conversations like this. Immediately they show signs of insecurity and you can’t be free.
what do you do when your partner never believes you and you're not cheating her or betraying her in any way? I have nothing to hide, I'm not doing anything wrong and my girlfriend still believes I'm not honest with her or loyal even though we spend every single day together. I cook for her 3 days a week at least, took care of her in the hospital among many other things and she still doesn't believe that I'm loyal to her.
Sit down with her and let her know you have always been loyal to her and suggest a counselor. You guys can go as a couple or individually. It’s expensive but if these trust issues end up tearing apart the relationship you will regret not spending the money.
@@sarahbera6744 thanks for your message we have been to a therapist many times. things seem to be better now, we'll see! lol