The moment that you wake up , just think about that for a moment , I am up and alive. While others are bed ridden with illness and some have no beds at all sleeping on the floor. Start being Grateful fo the air , water and the sun ,in which you could not live on Planet Earth without. Then finally , ask yourself "why was i born" , to compare myself with the next, what a waste of life. Only God can answer that question for you , ask him to reveal it to you.
Anthony Holley. I 100% whole heartedly agree with you in the part about being grateful and practicing humility, but saying “only god” the way you did, it only implies that you are assuming that everyone else also believes in a “god”-which is ironically a very “un-humble” thing to say. We all have the right to believe whatever we choose, by 2019 standards that is a bit of bad taste don’t you agree?
@@stevienguyen2047 Stevie Nguyen , there is over 7 billion people that exist on earth today and still growing. When i think about one cell from a sperm seed meeting a egg that is responsible for the 7 billion , i marvel and in a state of awe. The mind and brain alone is unfathomable in what it can achieve and with that mind , every human being have the right to choose. Like millions of people, who express and demonstrate their opinions and experiences ,so do i. I chose to say" Only God" and the individual has every right to make a conscious choice to believe or disbelieve. How can you make a choice , if you not presented with choices.
My inferiority complex is so bad I was even afraid to tell my old therapist about it. The very idea that someone else would know about how inferior I feel gave me a massive wave of shame and embarrassment.
@@rafaelguasp1141 it's the feeling that you are incapable of doing things/any task. U constantly keep bashing urself in mind criticizing urself ,comparing, it makes u mentally paralyzed, guilty, shame,regret. U think u don't deserve anything . It all starts with comparison and the cause of it lies in ur childhood and parenting where u are controlled or too much bashing , bullying, fear of failure and intense desperation to prove urself The key is to first change ur mindset and accept yourself, stop criticizing bashing urself. Be calm
Really good video, I’ve had an inferiority complex for a great part of my life, even though I’ve had no real reason. It all comes down to bad moments during my childhood and constantly comparing myself to others. I have felt as if I do not deserve success and I have ignored my passions for too long. I’ll try to get to the root of the problem and try to feel my emotions and let them go, evolving and living my “own” life, not the one that is promised.
@Daniel Leslie i never pay attention to words said by drunk/angry/stupid/bad mannered/racist/mentally disillusioned people. So you should do the same. I don't need to be the minority to be insulted, you can insult everyone if you want to.
David Leslie happy well adjusted people don’t make racist comments. That means there’s something unsettled within them so you should take that into account when you see that kind of stuff. Normal white ppl look down on racist white people.
I think Social Media is really messing me up. The second I wake up, I'm immediately checking Instagram and seeing other people living their lives. Knowing that someone had a wild Friday/Saturday night and seeing their pictures really fucks me up because I know I was just laying in bed or playing video games with strangers online all day.
FB is just a way for people to highlight the best parts of their lives, and then further embellish that, in order to win the dick measuring contest. No one ever posts their money, family, health, or legal problems. I left all social media (except YT and LI) and have gained a lot of inner peace just from that.
Tips: 1. Deal with emotional memories (effect bridge technique) 8:38 2. Drop the mime 10:47 3. Get specific (What have u being feeling sad about?) 12:16 4. Dare to be different 13:38 5.Oust the Utopian Assumptions 15:33
Feeling inferiority can only be done through comparison. Feeling inferior is different from objectively knowing we might be inferior to someone in a particular way. It’s about being emotional about it. Intrinsic to low Self-esteem. Not a cognitive thing, but emotional thing. We should always be on our own side. We can only b x y and z in comparison to others. If we relax our expectations as to how we should be. 1) Deal with emotional memories. Helping people examine their own thoughts can be valuable and effective. 2) Drop the mine. Be yourself, everyone is always taken. Being inspired by someone is trying to assimilate someone’s admirable traits into who you are and not being an identical replica of them. 3) Get specific. Are you being too busy as to being selective as to who you are comparing yourself too? 4) Dare to be different. Your life can only be lived by you. Explore what you want to do as opposed as to what you should do. 5) oust the Utopian assumptions. Utopian is the assumption of what if thinking etc. if only I was twenty pounds lighter I would be happier. Deeper needs and until those deeper needs are met we may have an aching disconnect as to what we actually need and what we think we need. See differences in others not in terms of better or worse but just as differences. I will never be a plastic copy as to what other people expect
The Oscar Wilde quote is "Be yourself. Everyone else is already taken." That's a correction to (2) above. One thing that helped me was a quote from a James Taylor song: "The secret of life is enjoying the passage of time." It's a way of feeling contented to remind yourself of that - and not worry who is better and who is worse by whatever criterion.
I’ve been to therapy for years for depression, perfectionism, anxiety, yet this is the term I feel sums every problem I have in my life. How can I not realize this sooner. The first sentence struck me so deeply “Feeling like I’m never good enough despite my achievements” and constant comparison really ruins my life since I was still a kid. It robs my happiness, relationships, and even time, I’ve lived >10 years of my life not doing or pursuing goals that I want, but simply avoiding feeling inadequate, replaceable, and a loser in any community I’m in. Be it about education, career, physical attractiveness, popularity, and others - I am never satisfied. Makes me almost always unhappy. The worst part is, I’m never pushed by anyone. It’s just me and my head. Thank you so much for the video, it means a lot to know the specific problem I’m facing and making me feel understood
I was humiliated by my physics teacher so bad . He insulted me in front of my classmates and compared me to my brother that how good was he and look at yourself. This humiliation has stuck with me ever since. I always feel as if i am not intelligent enough and dumb girl although i am a topper .
That you could be in the physics class to begin with means you'd already accomplished a lot and you're pretty smart. Don't let a fool who'd tell you otherwise plague you. It doesn't matter if your brother was a shining star in class. That's OK. You're bright enough.
I had the same experience my teacher did the same thing and the worse part was that it happened for a whole year and I was so helpless I couldn’t do anything and I couldn’t even figure it out how to help myself .
I have gone through the exact same incident and it has somehow made me feel very underconfident at most critical times of life. Been 14 years of that incident but it still haunts me time and again. I am just commenting this to 'speak this thought' and have my closure. Thank you, I hope we all get better soon.
my parents were narcissistic shame based and projected onto me and gaslighted me. locked in double binds and shame for years keeps me to this day from succeeding. much of the emotional struggles interere with task and relationships
Bro I feel you, me too I was shamed. I was shamed for being shy, my parents compared me to others, I am being reproached for not working rn being 18 years old. I discovered that I was highly sensitive and now I got to reframe all the self hatred that I have and past traumas
Sometimes insensitive crass comments made by your own extended family can lead to life long inferiority complex especially if you happen to be sensitive. Your video was incredibly helpful. Thank you.
This was amazing. New subscriber. I would add a quote by Jordan Peterson which says , "Compare yourself to who you were yesterday, not to who someone else is today."
@@brain0nfire accepting yourself does not mean you dont study or apply for courses to improve skills. Hating yourself does not suddenly propel you to success over others.
I feel inferior to everyone on this planet , every minute is a struggle to live , becoz of my complexes , i skip most of my classes , n resort to staying at home, n hence became lazy n put weight , this is only continuing endlessly , I'm ashamed of myself , to even live ;(
I was mistreated and emotionally abused as a child and now i feel inferior to other people even know i know my value. I just feel as though people will never see my worth no matter what i do.
Great calm and soothing explanations. Tammy is lucky she’s had such a proactive mom who observed and got her help! Took me almost 43 yrs to figure all this stuff out by myself. Could have saved a lot of time and pain if someone (my parents) actually cared about me. They strongly favored my brother and it left me with some deep emotional scares. But moving forward!
We all worry about failing. Rather than worrying about failing, look forward to knowing that you’ll learn something that will make you better (even if its not readily apparent at the time).
1. Deal with emotional memories (effect bridge technique); 2. Drop the mime; 3. Get specific (What have u being feeling sad about?); 4. Dare to be different; 5.Oust the Utopian Assumptions
I love that the problems are met with solutions half way through the video. It goes to show how well balanced and educated this man is with what he teaches.
Im not sure where my inferiority complex has come from tho. As far as I know, i havent had any trauma...that or I’ve hid them so deep in my subconscious I’ve forgot them...I used to mistake my complex for my anxiety, but noticed I adopted toxic mindsets and behaviours like avoiding ppl because I didn’t think i deserved to be acknowledged by them, perfectionism, my inability to accept nice things and just adopted the belief i am the least “valuable” person. Thanks for this video
Back when I was in school (in my case a French school), I was constantly being compared to my classmates. I always sucked at science-based subjects such as math and physics, whereas my close friends thrived in them. Add to that a bit of yelling from my mom if I didn't get a good grade and you get a combo of inferiority complex and a loss of self confidence. lol
@@CynthMzannar I’m going to start working out on it today because I figured out this specifically held me back a noticeable amount. And nice! Keep it going!
I love the suggestion of going back into memories & recall the experiences that build that foundation for that inferiority & console oneself in that moment. Great exercise to dissolve stuck memories & feeling so we can understand our causes more & learn to accept ourselves as it is not our faults...and build a better relationship with ourselves by changing our perceptions of ourselves. Thank you. I will try this out muself
Dear Mark, you’re literally amazing. Simply explaining all the sufferings and mental health issues someone could carry over a long period of time. God bless you✝️🙏
I tell myself my beauty/wits/intelligence etc is a resource not an identity. I use these things as an advantage to get what I want but I disassociate myself with the identity. I don't live to impress others to live up to their expectations. I'm just thankful for being alive and grateful to have the resources I have and use it the best I can to make it through this life happy.
@@nawal8155 well think of it as a tool.... u either have it or u don't. it's like having a new toy as a kid or owning the latest technology as an adult...u can use it to ur advantage to show it off, make new friends, etc ..but eventually that toy will get old and it may lose its value. Eventually we will die and what we have physically in this life will be gone. Its great when u have it and u should take advantage of it if u do. But keep in mind even if u don't have certain tools that may be valuable to some ppl, u have other tools that can help u get through life and still bring u happiness. Think of beauty/wits/intelligence as something u have. Everyone has their own strengths and weakness so just make the most of ur own opportunities. What you value is a choice and if you stop caring so much about self identity and start valuing your happiness and see through those tools as opportunities that serve you, then you'll be able to disassociate. All it takes is a shift in perspective.
This...this is the right mindset to have. Through out my 43 years(hopefully more years to come) on this earth, i never allowed the words and opinions of many to affect me. We only have 1 life to live. Live full and be happy for who you are. Remember, what we see in media and outside is manufactured...you too can manufacture the life you want with hard work. All it takes is a step 😁
I love your thoughtful intelligent guidance! You understand the emotions that create mental distress and how to help people overcome and discover themselves to live a more fulfilling life!
Thank you so much for giving insights into self esteem issues. I am dealing with it every day and having anxiety on account of that. Happy to listen to this.
Thank you, thank you, thank you, spot on brilliance, you hit it all on the head, and help me understand. I am unlearning and learning. I am beauitful, I am capable, I am worth my own love, I am a success. Trust me you have helped me such today, thank you, thank you,thank you 🙏😁
i remember often being compared to other kids by my mother when I was a child. i remember that i've never been praised for whatever i achieved. i also remember that i've always felt inferior toward my big brother and sisters (i'm the youngest). i think it started to became apparent in middle school, for 3 years in a row, i keep raising my grades but i never been able to even reach top-10 in class, i started thinking that whatever i do, i can never be better. my mom being a big racist also played some role , i remember how she often scolded me when i invited a friend home, saying that i shouldn't make friend with them because they are different from us. Making me feel that i have no right to even make friends... i also became introverted since. since then, i've always felt more welcomed, more at home, when i was at my best friend's home. i only have a few friends, but they are dear to me. Whenever i go to their house, i felt more at home than at my own family's. Because there's no one comparing me to other, no one scolding me for whatever things i do... i'm 36 this year... and i still feel unworthy, insecure, and worthless... but i'm going to do my best if it's for my friends. I just can't motivate myself if it's for MYSELF...
Very helpful video and also comments. Starting to think back to memories, I recall teachers shaming me in class about 'failings'. Homework i struggled to complete, being horrendously bad at mathematics, or physics, or chemistry. Just making gentle fun of me in biology (a topic I liked), has left lasting memories to this day about me 'sometimes' understanding a topic. I struggled with Latin too, and my mother being a Latin teacher made it even worse, as she was ashamed of my poor results, and telling me so. I was often told how much shame I caused by being a poor student. In addition, I was compared to my younger sister, favoured by my father, for being cleverer or less awkward than me. I developed self deprecating humour about all this, admitting to my shortcomings, laughing with others about it. That includes my looks too. But think i feel shame too, leading to constant low self esteem and confidence. I always recall negative events, where I said something stupid, or performed badly. And I minimise achievements. It is so bad that I think I deserve to be treated badly by employers, as I could not cope with workload, or certain tasks. I got burnt out, and work more or less dismissed me. A long time ago, a helpful friend told me to be the best me I can possibly be. But I am not sure what I am really good at, or how to explore this. I don't trust my own thinking. I feel flawed and useless, leading to depression and anxiety. And no longer really enjoying anything. Now trying hard to unravel all this and find a new way forward. Would like to find a way to unlearn these early childhood memories, but there are a lot of them. Thanks for reading, and responding if this resonates with you. Sending love and courage with your own efforts
I have always felt inferior, it's surprising how much comedy is based on this emotion. I have accepted the probability I'll always feel melancholy which I find amusing some of the time, I sometimes think a sense of humour is the only thing that's saved me from putting an end to it all. Thanks to people like Mark Tyrrell here, a lot of people with mental problems can gain a clearer insight into themseves.Keep up the good work👍
Thank you very much for Very Helpful Insight. Your advice or opinion as regards to the Subject is always on my mind and apply and practice in my day to day life. Thanks again and May God Bless you with Good Health, Happiness and Peaceful Life.
I think I found out my problem. I subconsciously compare myself and work too much. I now know where to look to tackle my problems. Haunted me alot in my coding skill. Thanks
So I was broken up with as a child in elementary. The reson I was given as to as why I was being broken up with was ; " because you're ugly. I believe that till today and I'm 35....
I fall into the categorie of going to great lengths and accomplishing a great deal for my age. Though it only feels good for a limited time, i often feel undeserving of my achievments, which eventually manifests in the form of am imposter syndrome
no thats a comforting lie, you need to accept the fact that some people are more important than others, lets say for example a heart surgeon compared to a real estate agent, and also beauty is objective trust me, you dont see any joe accepted in modeling for a reason. keep going by that mindset and you'll never get over the inferiority complex state.
This was really helpful. I’m more of a perfectionist, wanting everything to be 100% and this is really a big deal for me as it’s affecting me in all spenders, even in relationship but I hope to get better
I'm actually self-diagnosing myself of inferiority complex, and hearing what you said really helps a lot. Now I have at least a bit knowledge on how to beat this. Thank you! Looking forward to hearing and seeing about other amazing psychological and mental health awareness from your channel.
Great video! Helped so much in raising my own self awareness and understanding myself better. Especially with the particular example you use with Tammy was very very helpful, thank you for being so compassionate and gentle as you are speaking.
Thank you for this video. My Brother has superiority complex I think, hes narcissistic, spiteful, uncaring, rang me up when I was assaulted to call me stupid, and it was my own fault i was attacked. Even when I got an ovarian mass he said so your ringing to tell me to just get pity. Hes younger than me spoilt, given loads of money by my aunty so he could buy his house with cash, and go to university ( i wasnt given anything, my aunty made it clear he was her favourite) and now a high achiever at a top Firm, obsessed with status and power, and looks down his nose at his sister. Turned up on my birthday at a restaurant with a card and one chocolate sweet you get from a petrol station. He couldn't even be bothered to get me a present. Even so arrogant enough to say one day I was younger than him even though I am older because I was not married. I said thats not possible .Only now I realise he is TOXIC and cut all ties. His constant belittling ways and treatment effected my mental health and gave me a complex that I am not good enough because I feel so hated by my own brother.
I was never the same after failing college. What do you like about yourself? Your accomplishments? Your appearance? What you can give to the world? That’s how I know I’m a worm. I have no success, no money, no prospects and as time goes on I’m only getting uglier and slower and less convinced anything can change.
I also hurt myself because I feel like i'm not good enough. People always give me compliments about how I carry myself but deep inside I'm inferior towards other people. I don't use social media anymore but I'm still pressured to look a certain way. Thank you so much! 🥺
Wow. I'm tearing up man. Turns out I was almost there anyway, but this definitely validated me. Jordan Peterson is toxic as fuck. This is what I needed all along.
@emilyemble Same here. You really have to watch a lot of his videos to get his true beliefs. His speeches are often designed to make a specific point or further an agenda, leaving out important details, which distorts our perception of his views. In reality he's more or less a normal psychologist with rational views and a higly eccentric expression.
@emilyemble I am not as big a fan of JP as I was. Still I can't help think his point of view deserves respect. In the end , he tried too much to be father figure, with hyper self discipline. He couldn't live up to his own standards and had a mental breakdown. Which proves possibly he needed to be less bombastic and more chilled. More easygoing. He needed a gentler approach to life. And we all do. Sometimes we need a kick up the butt. But not every day. Not relentlessly. We need kindness and understanding much more. That's what the whole world needs and is always in short supply.
Thanks a lots, Mr. Mark I thoughts i'm the worst of making decision and trap in it, which you barely cut open the ways that all of i had think is already been made in, actually. i'm glad to feeling this relief again. #acknowlegded
Very well compiled session. Would like to add that the corporate environment, especially in the US, equals social media pressure. The weekly/monthly/annual performance evaluations can be excrutiating for any individual with undigested childhood trauma, when facing a strong trigger (such as line manager, project lead etc). Hopefully, this video gets thru to those who need to hear, moves them into awareness and frees their souls...The workplace will be better for it! Thank you.
I always feel like this all of my life, i didn't even know this has a name. Growing up my parent always compared me to our neighbor, or family and friend. I think this effect my self esteem, and make me feel inferior compared to other. to all parents, please don't compare your kids to other kids, there's a better way to motivate or push your kids.
Thanks so much for these videos. The helping hand technique is really useful. Even just learning about it now I couldn't help reviewing some older memories and was surprised how effective it was.
It took a long time to get over it especially during adolescent years it took so long time to be comfortable with David and not emulate someone who I thought took everything in stride..but it can be very dangerous because you can end up in fairytale land and combined with substances like Valium can ensure an identity crisis and you'll push your family further and further away because one visit with them can burst the fairytale bubble...by the time I got out of my 20s I accepted myself for who I am ... and in doing so it allowed me to return to the truths and memories of a previous life ... and I had to accept that yes I was that person in my previous life...but it's just as important for me to understand the previous life and what mark I'm to leave on the world whether big or small it doesn't matter.. and part of it was to not use your children vicariously... and that you don't use your children to full fill your political asperations and Im being punished accordingly with a spiritual forse keeping me away from my children... And that money isn't everything in my life and it never will be a factor in this life.. my sentence is almost over though and I'll have clean karma for the next life...but most people who emulate others... they are usually old souls and certain personalities they emulate is the heart yearning to be the same as they were in their previous life... It's like looking into a broken mirror ...
Wow. I identify with Tammy on every point except one. I feel all the same things. And would answer everything the way she did, only I have never inflicted self harm. I really hope I can start myself on a new path.
I have felt this way forever but never really paid attention to it. I just recognized this feeling and started googling it. I have especially felt less than with people older than me. I am 23 y/o. For example, when I'm at the hairdressers, I just feel like I don't deserve being there. That I am not worthy of being treated like a respected customer. Or at work, whenever I work with older, more experienced people I just feel so much less, even though I am not. I really want to stop feeling this way. I even have it when going to a bakery f.e. and buying some sweets, and the woman selling the cakes is older than me. I just feel like a child doing all these things, and I almost feel ashamed of doing these things. Makes me even want to avoid doing it.
yesterday I started my first job and realized my biggest complex has always been feeling like I'm not good enough to olders. I can freely talk to people my age, but when it comes to people I consider are in a superior range, I have no idea how to treat them or talk to them because if I speak, they may get disappointed.
The thing is, I'm statistically above average at a handful of things, and I'm statistically and technically better than others at a lot of things, but I struggle with thoughts like "people are always going to be better than me what's the point of even trying". These thoughts are way more prevalent when I do things I enjoy but don't really see any progress. I've been playing guitar for years, and I will say I am not good. Technically, I am at an intermediate point, but I literally can't help but think I am genuinely terrible and it doesn't make me want to go on. I think these thoughts came in sometime this year, but I've probably had them for at least 2 years and this is the toughest thing I've ever dealt with. Instead of making me want to get better, I don't want to get better. I don't want to do anything at all. I won't amount to anything. Thank you
Hi, thank you for the video. I have an inferiority complex that got worse after a woman I love changed me for a taller, richer and more handsome guy. I have a problem with tip #1. When I try to think of a time I felt good, I must think of time spent with her. But I cannot feel good about it, as I also know that those times are gone and I am only left alone.
I just found you by chance on RUclips I used to pay for and listen to your hypnosis audio downloads years ago on my old windows phone they helped me a lot to overcome issues and such a vast library of subjects covered. I subscribed straight away.
There is a disparity between what I've accomplished, my capabilities, and my own assessment of their product. I can only be proud of certain things for a very short time. Earning a Master's degree, for instance, provided me little satisfaction. And even less when it appeared to have little value for the rest of the world.
I'm an adopted child. Eventhough my adoptive family is nice to me, I still feel I don't have a family. Specially during reunions. And in school coz I'm using my biological parent's surname. It's so painful and hard to answer questions like "why is your surname different?" My adoptive family is quite well-known. And I can't feel that I really belong to them coz everyone knows my surname is different. That makes me feel alone and shy to talk to anyone. Coz I want to avoid questions about my real family. I feel like I don't have a right. I need to avoid conflicts because I know they look down at me coz my real parents abandoned me. It's hard
I struggle with comparing myself to others from the moment I wake up.
😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😷 same here. I want to cry ...endlessly
The moment that you wake up , just think about that for a moment , I am up and alive. While others are bed ridden with illness and some have no beds at all sleeping on the floor. Start being Grateful fo the air , water and the sun ,in which you could not live on Planet Earth without. Then finally , ask yourself "why was i born" , to compare myself with the next, what a waste of life. Only God can answer that question for you , ask him to reveal it to you.
@@furreedhiba3572 Hiba go back to the view reply and read my comments.
Anthony Holley. I 100% whole heartedly agree with you in the part about being grateful and practicing humility, but saying “only god” the way you did, it only implies that you are assuming that everyone else also believes in a “god”-which is ironically a very “un-humble” thing to say. We all have the right to believe whatever we choose, by 2019 standards that is a bit of bad taste don’t you agree?
@@stevienguyen2047
Stevie Nguyen , there is over 7 billion people that exist on earth today and still growing. When i think about one cell from a sperm seed meeting a egg that is responsible for the 7 billion , i marvel and in a state of awe. The mind and brain alone is unfathomable in what it can achieve and with that mind , every human being have the right to choose. Like millions of people, who express and demonstrate their opinions and experiences ,so do i.
I chose to say" Only God" and the individual has every right to make a conscious choice to believe or disbelieve. How can you make a choice , if you not presented with choices.
My inferiority complex is so bad I was even afraid to tell my old therapist about it. The very idea that someone else would know about how inferior I feel gave me a massive wave of shame and embarrassment.
Even worse when you feel extremely inferior to your best friends
This happens to me
I'm trying to figure out what it means and I still cant understand it. Can you give me a simple definition?
@@rafaelguasp1141 your friends are better than you.
@@rafaelguasp1141 it's the feeling that you are incapable of doing things/any task. U constantly keep bashing urself in mind criticizing urself ,comparing, it makes u mentally paralyzed, guilty, shame,regret. U think u don't deserve anything . It all starts with comparison and the cause of it lies in ur childhood and parenting where u are controlled or too much bashing , bullying, fear of failure and intense desperation to prove urself
The key is to first change ur mindset and accept yourself, stop criticizing bashing urself. Be calm
@@angelaortiz8619yeah even worse when u fall prey to narcissist
Really good video, I’ve had an inferiority complex for a great part of my life, even though I’ve had no real reason. It all comes down to bad moments during my childhood and constantly comparing myself to others. I have felt as if I do not deserve success and I have ignored my passions for too long. I’ll try to get to the root of the problem and try to feel my emotions and let them go, evolving and living my “own” life, not the one that is promised.
@Daniel Leslie I know you're feeling my dude...
@Daniel Leslie i never pay attention to words said by drunk/angry/stupid/bad mannered/racist/mentally disillusioned people. So you should do the same. I don't need to be the minority to be insulted, you can insult everyone if you want to.
David Leslie happy well adjusted people don’t make racist comments. That means there’s something unsettled within them so you should take that into account when you see that kind of stuff. Normal white ppl look down on racist white people.
I feel really happy for you. I hope I‘ll get to heal as soon as possible aswell.
Good for you man!
I think Social Media is really messing me up. The second I wake up, I'm immediately checking Instagram and seeing other people living their lives. Knowing that someone had a wild Friday/Saturday night and seeing their pictures really fucks me up because I know I was just laying in bed or playing video games with strangers online all day.
ngl, that sounds kinda good. I don't even have that much time while being drowned in homework
FB is just a way for people to highlight the best parts of their lives, and then further embellish that, in order to win the dick measuring contest. No one ever posts their money, family, health, or legal problems. I left all social media (except YT and LI) and have gained a lot of inner peace just from that.
You are so me.
I play games because thats the only thing where i feel like im strong. Lmao 😂
Fomo. It's real. I always feel like I should be somewhere else. I never feel present.
Tips:
1. Deal with emotional memories (effect bridge technique) 8:38
2. Drop the mime 10:47
3. Get specific (What have u being feeling sad about?) 12:16
4. Dare to be different 13:38
5.Oust the Utopian Assumptions 15:33
god bless you
Being different is scary but oh well
>:
0:24 I didn't understand this quote ... Plz help 🥲
Bro let the lord shower all u needed
Feeling inferiority can only be done through comparison. Feeling inferior is different from objectively knowing we might be inferior to someone in a particular way. It’s about being emotional about it. Intrinsic to low
Self-esteem. Not a cognitive thing, but emotional thing.
We should always be on our own side. We can only b x y and z in comparison to others. If we relax our expectations as to how we should be.
1) Deal with emotional memories. Helping people examine their own thoughts can be valuable and effective.
2) Drop the mine. Be yourself, everyone is always taken. Being inspired by someone is trying to assimilate someone’s admirable traits into who you are and not being an identical replica of them.
3) Get specific. Are you being too busy as to being selective as to who you are comparing yourself too?
4) Dare to be different. Your life can only be lived by you. Explore what you want to do as opposed as to what you should do.
5) oust the Utopian assumptions. Utopian is the assumption of what if thinking etc. if only I was twenty pounds lighter I would be happier. Deeper needs and until those deeper needs are met we may have an aching disconnect as to what we actually need and what we think we need.
See differences in others not in terms of better or worse but just as differences.
I will never be a plastic copy as to what other people expect
The Oscar Wilde quote is "Be yourself. Everyone else is already taken." That's a correction to (2) above. One thing that helped me was a quote from a James Taylor song: "The secret of life is enjoying the passage of time." It's a way of feeling contented to remind yourself of that - and not worry who is better and who is worse by whatever criterion.
I’ve been to therapy for years for depression, perfectionism, anxiety, yet this is the term I feel sums every problem I have in my life. How can I not realize this sooner.
The first sentence struck me so deeply “Feeling like I’m never good enough despite my achievements” and constant comparison really ruins my life since I was still a kid. It robs my happiness, relationships, and even time, I’ve lived >10 years of my life not doing or pursuing goals that I want, but simply avoiding feeling inadequate, replaceable, and a loser in any community I’m in. Be it about education, career, physical attractiveness, popularity, and others - I am never satisfied. Makes me almost always unhappy.
The worst part is, I’m never pushed by anyone. It’s just me and my head.
Thank you so much for the video, it means a lot to know the specific problem I’m facing and making me feel understood
I was humiliated by my physics teacher so bad . He insulted me in front of my classmates and compared me to my brother that how good was he and look at yourself. This humiliation has stuck with me ever since. I always feel as if i am not intelligent enough and dumb girl although i am a topper .
I'm so sorry for what your teacher did to you. He was probably projecting his own insecurities on to you, which is not right.
That you could be in the physics class to begin with means you'd already accomplished a lot and you're pretty smart. Don't let a fool who'd tell you otherwise plague you. It doesn't matter if your brother was a shining star in class. That's OK. You're bright enough.
I had the same experience my teacher did the same thing and the worse part was that it happened for a whole year and I was so helpless I couldn’t do anything and I couldn’t even figure it out how to help myself .
Once I gave myself attention and self love that helped and changed my situation 😊and started to have positive thoughts.
I have gone through the exact same incident and it has somehow made me feel very underconfident at most critical times of life. Been 14 years of that incident but it still haunts me time and again. I am just commenting this to 'speak this thought' and have my closure. Thank you, I hope we all get better soon.
my parents were narcissistic shame based and projected onto me and gaslighted me. locked in double binds and shame for years keeps me to this day from succeeding. much of the emotional struggles interere with task and relationships
Very sad. Keep moving forwards x
Omg same. God forbid I was happy for a moment. Still going on.
ACA can help. Daylight out of Darkness on youtube is good too. There is hope. I'm from similar i totally get you. Takes time to recover.
Bro I feel you, me too I was shamed. I was shamed for being shy, my parents compared me to others, I am being reproached for not working rn being 18 years old. I discovered that I was highly sensitive and now I got to reframe all the self hatred that I have and past traumas
one thing to kept yourself from turning into a narcissist is by improving despite what they did
Sometimes insensitive crass comments made by your own extended family can lead to life long inferiority complex especially if you happen to be sensitive. Your video was incredibly helpful. Thank you.
Yes. That resonates. We have to live with what our family members think of us. Even if it is inaccurate.
@@antidepressant11this is really just sad
Most of my old friends think they are better than me. Said it openly! Once I moved on from them I improved a lot.
This man is changing my life video by video
This was amazing. New subscriber.
I would add a quote by Jordan Peterson which says , "Compare yourself to who you were yesterday, not to who someone else is today."
Good luck getting a job that way.
Is that really good advice? Wouldn't it just remind you how stupid you were and have you constantly cringe at yourself?
It'll make you grateful for the fact that you have improved immensely & if you have improved so far, you can definitely improve in the future
@@brain0nfire accepting yourself does not mean you dont study or apply for courses to improve skills. Hating yourself does not suddenly propel you to success over others.
@@somerandomvertebrate9262 no, doesnt with me. You need to reframe your perspective
I feel inferior to everyone on this planet , every minute is a struggle to live , becoz of my complexes , i skip most of my classes , n resort to staying at home, n hence became lazy n put weight , this is only continuing endlessly , I'm ashamed of myself , to even live ;(
Fr
I was mistreated and emotionally abused as a child and now i feel inferior to other people even know i know my value. I just feel as though people will never see my worth no matter what i do.
grief in mid life has me stuck to the point that my heart hurts all the time
Same here
Same here. Astounding is it not.
Great calm and soothing explanations. Tammy is lucky she’s had such a proactive mom who observed and got her help! Took me almost 43 yrs to figure all this stuff out by myself. Could have saved a lot of time and pain if someone (my parents) actually cared about me. They strongly favored my brother and it left me with some deep emotional scares. But moving forward!
Wherever you are,
May your life be better each day,💛
dont be so sure your brother didnt suffer in his own unique way
True talk. Comparing oneself with another makes one unwise.
The idea that we are imperfectly perfect as we are is so natural but so lost in this world. Thanks for this
I give up so easily because I already know that I'll fail.
do more animations homie
We all worry about failing. Rather than worrying about failing, look forward to knowing that you’ll learn something that will make you better (even if its not readily apparent at the time).
Rather than thinking of life in terms of success or failure...why not just do what you "feel" like?...if that makes sense
Two words: THANK YOU
two words from me : FUCK YOU
Wow this man knows my heart and my mind, it’s crazy how a stranger can give me so much comfort and understanding 🙏🏻 thank you 💜
The last words of Tammy just made me cry. Such a great video and you are amazing.
I love your delivery, it's like straight out of a psychology textbook. Very well formulated, thank you!
1. Deal with emotional memories (effect bridge technique);
2. Drop the mime;
3. Get specific (What have u being feeling sad about?);
4. Dare to be different;
5.Oust the Utopian Assumptions
I love that the problems are met with solutions half way through the video. It goes to show how well balanced and educated this man is with what he teaches.
Thank you for this. You're a kind soul, and this is exactly what I'm struggling with.
Im not sure where my inferiority complex has come from tho. As far as I know, i havent had any trauma...that or I’ve hid them so deep in my subconscious I’ve forgot them...I used to mistake my complex for my anxiety, but noticed I adopted toxic mindsets and behaviours like avoiding ppl because I didn’t think i deserved to be acknowledged by them, perfectionism, my inability to accept nice things and just adopted the belief i am the least “valuable” person. Thanks for this video
Back when I was in school (in my case a French school), I was constantly being compared to my classmates. I always sucked at science-based subjects such as math and physics, whereas my close friends thrived in them. Add to that a bit of yelling from my mom if I didn't get a good grade and you get a combo of inferiority complex and a loss of self confidence. lol
For me it’s being bad at games, trash at socializing and just feeling stuck... how’s it going for you right now?
@@J7Noj I understand you! It's getting better given that I'm working on myself everyday! You should too, it'll get better for sure :)
@@CynthMzannar I’m going to start working out on it today because I figured out this specifically held me back a noticeable amount. And nice! Keep it going!
I love the suggestion of going back into memories & recall the experiences that build that foundation for that inferiority & console oneself in that moment. Great exercise to dissolve stuck memories & feeling so we can understand our causes more & learn to accept ourselves as it is not our faults...and build a better relationship with ourselves by changing our perceptions of ourselves. Thank you. I will try this out muself
thank you sir.. you help a lot of people... God Speed all the time..
Dear Mark, you’re literally amazing. Simply explaining all the sufferings and mental health issues someone could carry over a long period of time. God bless you✝️🙏
I tell myself my beauty/wits/intelligence etc is a resource not an identity. I use these things as an advantage to get what I want but I disassociate myself with the identity.
I don't live to impress others to live up to their expectations. I'm just thankful for being alive and grateful to have the resources I have and use it the best I can to make it through this life happy.
how do u disassociate it to it
@@nawal8155 well think of it as a tool.... u either have it or u don't. it's like having a new toy as a kid or owning the latest technology as an adult...u can use it to ur advantage to show it off, make new friends, etc ..but eventually that toy will get old and it may lose its value. Eventually we will die and what we have physically in this life will be gone. Its great when u have it and u should take advantage of it if u do. But keep in mind even if u don't have certain tools that may be valuable to some ppl, u have other tools that can help u get through life and still bring u happiness. Think of beauty/wits/intelligence as something u have. Everyone has their own strengths and weakness so just make the most of ur own opportunities. What you value is a choice and if you stop caring so much about self identity and start valuing your happiness and see through those tools as opportunities that serve you, then you'll be able to disassociate. All it takes is a shift in perspective.
This...this is the right mindset to have. Through out my 43 years(hopefully more years to come) on this earth, i never allowed the words and opinions of many to affect me. We only have 1 life to live. Live full and be happy for who you are. Remember, what we see in media and outside is manufactured...you too can manufacture the life you want with hard work. All it takes is a step 😁
I love your thoughtful intelligent guidance! You understand the emotions that create mental distress and how to help people overcome and discover themselves to live a more fulfilling life!
Thank you so much for giving insights into self esteem issues. I am dealing with it every day and having anxiety on account of that. Happy to listen to this.
Thank you, thank you, thank you, spot on brilliance, you hit it all on the head, and help me understand. I am unlearning and learning.
I am beauitful, I am capable, I am worth my own love, I am a success.
Trust me you have helped me such today, thank you, thank you,thank you 🙏😁
although this is more like an instruction for the professional to help their clients, it helps me a lot
i remember often being compared to other kids by my mother when I was a child.
i remember that i've never been praised for whatever i achieved.
i also remember that i've always felt inferior toward my big brother and sisters (i'm the youngest).
i think it started to became apparent in middle school, for 3 years in a row, i keep raising my grades but i never been able to even reach top-10 in class, i started thinking that whatever i do, i can never be better.
my mom being a big racist also played some role , i remember how she often scolded me when i invited a friend home, saying that i shouldn't make friend with them because they are different from us. Making me feel that i have no right to even make friends... i also became introverted since.
since then, i've always felt more welcomed, more at home, when i was at my best friend's home. i only have a few friends, but they are dear to me. Whenever i go to their house, i felt more at home than at my own family's. Because there's no one comparing me to other, no one scolding me for whatever things i do...
i'm 36 this year... and i still feel unworthy, insecure, and worthless... but i'm going to do my best if it's for my friends. I just can't motivate myself if it's for MYSELF...
I'm really greatful for this,you just made my life a hundred times better
This video is exactly what I needed. I am 19 and I feel so much like Tammy. I will work on your tips, thank you so much for this.
U are loved dear,
Precious and amazing
Very helpful video and also comments.
Starting to think back to memories, I recall teachers shaming me in class about 'failings'.
Homework i struggled to complete, being horrendously bad at mathematics, or physics, or chemistry. Just making gentle fun of me in biology (a topic I liked), has left lasting memories to this day about me 'sometimes' understanding a topic.
I struggled with Latin too, and my mother being a Latin teacher made it even worse, as she was ashamed of my poor results, and telling me so.
I was often told how much shame I caused by being a poor student.
In addition, I was compared to my younger sister, favoured by my father, for being cleverer or less awkward than me.
I developed self deprecating humour about all this, admitting to my shortcomings, laughing with others about it.
That includes my looks too.
But think i feel shame too, leading to constant low self esteem and confidence.
I always recall negative events, where I said something stupid, or performed badly.
And I minimise achievements.
It is so bad that I think I deserve to be treated badly by employers, as I could not cope with workload, or certain tasks.
I got burnt out, and work more or less dismissed me.
A long time ago, a helpful friend told me to be the best me I can possibly be. But I am not sure what I am really good at, or how to explore this.
I don't trust my own thinking.
I feel flawed and useless, leading to depression and anxiety. And no longer really enjoying anything.
Now trying hard to unravel all this and find a new way forward.
Would like to find a way to unlearn these early childhood memories, but there are a lot of them.
Thanks for reading, and responding if this resonates with you.
Sending love and courage with your own efforts
I have always felt inferior, it's surprising how much comedy is based on this emotion. I have accepted the probability I'll always feel melancholy which I find amusing some of the time, I sometimes think a sense of humour is the only thing that's saved me from putting an end to it all.
Thanks to people like Mark Tyrrell here, a lot of people with mental problems can gain a clearer insight into themseves.Keep up the good work👍
Thank you very much for Very Helpful Insight. Your advice or opinion as regards to the Subject is always on my mind and apply and practice in my day to day life. Thanks again and May God Bless you with Good Health, Happiness and Peaceful Life.
I think I found out my problem. I subconsciously compare myself and work too much. I now know where to look to tackle my problems. Haunted me alot in my coding skill. Thanks
I watched your video from beginning to end, i even took notes. I can't Thank you enough
So I was broken up with as a child in elementary. The reson I was given as to as why I was being broken up with was ; " because you're ugly. I believe that till today and I'm 35....
Thank u for making this video! It's mean so much for me!!
Too good, makes me emotional and teary. Thank you for the video.
I love the “If only I had” theory.Very helpful
I fall into the categorie of going to great lengths and accomplishing a great deal for my age. Though it only feels good for a limited time, i often feel undeserving of my achievments, which eventually manifests in the form of am imposter syndrome
We matter just as much as anyone else! We are just as beautiful as anybody!!!
no thats a comforting lie, you need to accept the fact that some people are more important than others, lets say for example a heart surgeon compared to a real estate agent, and also beauty is objective trust me, you dont see any joe accepted in modeling for a reason. keep going by that mindset and you'll never get over the inferiority complex state.
This was really helpful. I’m more of a perfectionist, wanting everything to be 100% and this is really a big deal for me as it’s affecting me in all spenders, even in relationship but I hope to get better
I'm actually self-diagnosing myself of inferiority complex, and hearing what you said really helps a lot. Now I have at least a bit knowledge on how to beat this. Thank you! Looking forward to hearing and seeing about other amazing psychological and mental health awareness from your channel.
Very insightful. Thank you. ❤
This helped me a lot. Thank you soooooo much!!!!
Great video! Helped so much in raising my own self awareness and understanding myself better. Especially with the particular example you use with Tammy was very very helpful, thank you for being so compassionate and gentle as you are speaking.
Thank you for this video. My Brother has superiority complex I think, hes narcissistic, spiteful, uncaring, rang me up when I was assaulted to call me stupid, and it was my own fault i was attacked. Even when I got an ovarian mass he said so your ringing to tell me to just get pity. Hes younger than me spoilt, given loads of money by my aunty so he could buy his house with cash, and go to university ( i wasnt given anything, my aunty made it clear he was her favourite) and now a high achiever at a top Firm, obsessed with status and power, and looks down his nose at his sister. Turned up on my birthday at a restaurant with a card and one chocolate sweet you get from a petrol station. He couldn't even be bothered to get me a present. Even so arrogant enough to say one day I was younger than him even though I am older because I was not married. I said thats not possible .Only now I realise he is TOXIC and cut all ties. His constant belittling ways and treatment effected my mental health and gave me a complex that I am not good enough because I feel so hated by my own brother.
Thank you very much for your time and effort into this video. Very helpful
I was never the same after failing college.
What do you like about yourself? Your accomplishments? Your appearance? What you can give to the world?
That’s how I know I’m a worm. I have no success, no money, no prospects and as time goes on I’m only getting uglier and slower and less convinced anything can change.
I also hurt myself because I feel like i'm not good enough. People always give me compliments about how I carry myself but deep inside I'm inferior towards other people. I don't use social media anymore but I'm still pressured to look a certain way.
Thank you so much! 🥺
Thank you for this video. You speak so clearly and your message is so efficient. It definetly made me feel better.
Wow. I'm tearing up man. Turns out I was almost there anyway, but this definitely validated me.
Jordan Peterson is toxic as fuck. This is what I needed all along.
@emilyemble Same here. You really have to watch a lot of his videos to get his true beliefs. His speeches are often designed to make a specific point or further an agenda, leaving out important details, which distorts our perception of his views. In reality he's more or less a normal psychologist with rational views and a higly eccentric expression.
@emilyemble I am not as big a fan of JP as I was. Still I can't help think his point of view deserves respect. In the end , he tried too much to be father figure, with hyper self discipline. He couldn't live up to his own standards and had a mental breakdown. Which proves possibly he needed to be less bombastic and more chilled. More easygoing. He needed a gentler approach to life. And we all do. Sometimes we need a kick up the butt. But not every day. Not relentlessly. We need kindness and understanding much more. That's what the whole world needs and is always in short supply.
Thanks a lots, Mr. Mark
I thoughts i'm the worst of making decision and trap in it, which you barely cut open the ways that all of i had think is already been made in, actually. i'm glad to feeling this relief again.
#acknowlegded
This was so useful sir. Thank you so much I will bring these tips with in every situation I encounter. Thank you
Very well compiled session. Would like to add that the corporate environment, especially in the US, equals social media pressure. The weekly/monthly/annual performance evaluations can be excrutiating for any individual with undigested childhood trauma, when facing a strong trigger (such as line manager, project lead etc). Hopefully, this video gets thru to those who need to hear, moves them into awareness and frees their souls...The workplace will be better for it! Thank you.
Thank you really helpful and down to earth, easy to understand.
I always feel like this all of my life, i didn't even know this has a name.
Growing up my parent always compared me to our neighbor, or family and friend. I think this effect my self esteem, and make me feel inferior compared to other. to all parents, please don't compare your kids to other kids, there's a better way to motivate or push your kids.
Thanks so much for these videos. The helping hand technique is really useful. Even just learning about it now I couldn't help reviewing some older memories and was surprised how effective it was.
It took a long time to get over it especially during adolescent years it took so long time to be comfortable with David and not emulate someone who I thought took everything in stride..but it can be very dangerous because you can end up in fairytale land and combined with substances like Valium can ensure an identity crisis and you'll push your family further and further away because one visit with them can burst the fairytale bubble...by the time I got out of my 20s I accepted myself for who I am ... and in doing so it allowed me to return to the truths and memories of a previous life ... and I had to accept that yes I was that person in my previous life...but it's just as important for me to understand the previous life and what mark I'm to leave on the world whether big or small it doesn't matter.. and part of it was to not use your children vicariously... and that you don't use your children to full fill your political asperations and Im being punished accordingly with a spiritual forse keeping me away from my children... And that money isn't everything in my life and it never will be a factor in this life.. my sentence is almost over though and I'll have clean karma for the next life...but most people who emulate others... they are usually old souls and certain personalities they emulate is the heart yearning to be the same as they were in their previous life... It's like looking into a broken mirror ...
Well it's definitely me looking at this at 1 midnight after social media 😌
Wow. I identify with Tammy on every point except one. I feel all the same things. And would answer everything the way she did, only I have never inflicted self harm. I really hope I can start myself on a new path.
Your videos are great source of great knowledge for all we budding therapist and common people. Love from India🙏
That is most powerful and i struggle with big inferiority complex with all may life am 38
Awesome video help me lot.....
Just got out of my depression going from2 than two weeks
This is profound!!!!!
Thank you very much
Oh, I have this... It keeps me from socializing...
I loved and needed this, thank you
Thank you for this video.
I wonder as a black man how my inferiority complex came into play where we’ve been made to believe we weren’t good enough for basically being alive
As always great video. This sounds like Schema therapy. Thanks for those tips.
I have felt this way forever but never really paid attention to it. I just recognized this feeling and started googling it. I have especially felt less than with people older than me. I am 23 y/o. For example, when I'm at the hairdressers, I just feel like I don't deserve being there. That I am not worthy of being treated like a respected customer. Or at work, whenever I work with older, more experienced people I just feel so much less, even though I am not. I really want to stop feeling this way. I even have it when going to a bakery f.e. and buying some sweets, and the woman selling the cakes is older than me. I just feel like a child doing all these things, and I almost feel ashamed of doing these things. Makes me even want to avoid doing it.
yesterday I started my first job and realized my biggest complex has always been feeling like I'm not good enough to olders. I can freely talk to people my age, but when it comes to people I consider are in a superior range, I have no idea how to treat them or talk to them because if I speak, they may get disappointed.
The thing is, I'm statistically above average at a handful of things, and I'm statistically and technically better than others at a lot of things, but I struggle with thoughts like "people are always going to be better than me what's the point of even trying". These thoughts are way more prevalent when I do things I enjoy but don't really see any progress.
I've been playing guitar for years, and I will say I am not good. Technically, I am at an intermediate point, but I literally can't help but think I am genuinely terrible and it doesn't make me want to go on.
I think these thoughts came in sometime this year, but I've probably had them for at least 2 years and this is the toughest thing I've ever dealt with. Instead of making me want to get better, I don't want to get better. I don't want to do anything at all. I won't amount to anything.
Thank you
This is great information. Thank you so much for sharing 🙏🏻
I’m comparing myself to this guy in the video right now: “He has so much more wisdom than I do.” 😔
very educational! i learned at lot of techniques
Thank you so much for this video
Parents have a huge part in this
Clarity is actually so important, and so few actually have it. It's a pity, even i don't. I too am heavily edited
"She will never be a plastic copy to what other people expect." That hit home.
Hi, thank you for the video. I have an inferiority complex that got worse after a woman I love changed me for a taller, richer and more handsome guy. I have a problem with tip #1. When I try to think of a time I felt good, I must think of time spent with her. But I cannot feel good about it, as I also know that those times are gone and I am only left alone.
Thanks for sharing this, much appreciated.
Thank you very much, very much relaxed
I know I’m objectively worse than most people and that’s why I’m sad
I just found you by chance on RUclips I used to pay for and listen to your hypnosis audio downloads years ago on my old windows phone they helped me a lot to overcome issues and such a vast library of subjects covered. I subscribed straight away.
I wish I found this sooner, thanks bro
There is a disparity between what I've accomplished, my capabilities, and my own assessment of their product. I can only be proud of certain things for a very short time. Earning a Master's degree, for instance, provided me little satisfaction. And even less when it appeared to have little value for the rest of the world.
I'm an adopted child. Eventhough my adoptive family is nice to me, I still feel I don't have a family. Specially during reunions. And in school coz I'm using my biological parent's surname. It's so painful and hard to answer questions like "why is your surname different?"
My adoptive family is quite well-known. And I can't feel that I really belong to them coz everyone knows my surname is different.
That makes me feel alone and shy to talk to anyone. Coz I want to avoid questions about my real family.
I feel like I don't have a right. I need to avoid conflicts because I know they look down at me coz my real parents abandoned me. It's hard
This is a great. Thank you kindly