@@moisellemade4665 yea that has been the story of my life. Because I dress nice. And look like i have money they start asking me for money here and there.
I would not trade my time in the Middle East for the WORLD! I would make it a point to cover my hair with HIGH QUALITY scarves in colorful Fabrics like Modanisa. Go to Nordstrom Rack and by a lot of flowing, long Maxi Dresses and sheer tops with well fitting tanks underneath you'll look classy and not spend much. You want to be modest, yet sexy. You will get the right male attention when you go to the restaurants and shopping centers especially if your makeup is done right. Lancôme Teint Idole stands up against the heat really well. I also suggest the Lips Bar Fast Face kits. Men there really like the no make-up makeup look.
Nothing worse than a cheap &selfish man.. they always want to give the least to receive the most..👐🏾 never settle .. you determine your worth and it’s NONNEGOTIABLE!!
It's funny but its the truth omg 😂😂 my ex would plan dates but right when those dates were suppose to happen he would conveniently cancel due to a scheduling conflict or something with work. I really think he would cancel to keep from spending so much money. Also whenever I would talk about going on vacation overseas he would always talk about going the cheap way. No sir 🤢
@@TheSomethingnew1 same here. When I no longer went over to chill and asked for a real date, he was suddenly "busy". He had the money to spend on himself bad basement apartment...but literally not a dime or meal. I was repeatedly offered his roommates leftovers. God protect me from these bums.
I told a man that has been interested in me for a while but i haven't given him the time of day until more recently. We were playing with the idea of me flying out to see him....in that conversation i told him that i dont believe in paying for dates. He asked me why. I explained that if a man couldn't pay for my meal what would leave me to believe that he is able to support a household. I have not heard from him since.
@Rainbow swirling Island girl for real. When i explained my reasoning, he did say a few things before going dead. He said "men need to be pampered too". And its not the 30s anymore. This took me out because in my experience it is usually the woman that does it all. Work, cook, take care of children(homework, haircuts, dr appointments etc) clean the house,pamper the man. The man usually works, does yard work once and a while and hangs out with friends. Like not saying you dont need pampering but at this point i might as well be alone or be the man in the relationship. If im gonna do all of that. The least you can do is pay the bills
Men show love by taking care of their women. If he cannot spend some money on you there are chances that he cannot even share his emotions and love with you. A stingy man will never do anything right by you.
@@EduardoOliveira-zx9ju You stated that "Men associate love with sex". I disagree with that because men are able to compartmentalize their feelings in a way that most women aren't able to. It's the same reason why men can easily have sex with someone they have a full on hatred for, just like the slave masters. It just means they can dispose of the female when they've had enough due to no love lost. This is why these channels often tell women that they need to raise their standards and practice being less emotional.
@@EduardoOliveira-zx9ju When a man is in love, his first instinct is to take care and protect his woman. That is how men show love. By being providers and protectors. Women show love by nurturing
@referral madness Thanks for clarifying my point. Funny how you didn't even get the gist of your own statement because it's loaded with 'emotional rage'. Go back to my previous comment and read it all the way through. 'Goal diggers' are women with raised standards who are able to put their actions into practice, while being less emotional...has the coin dropped yet?.
Kay Ade gold diggers are women think they need materialistic things to be happy in the relationship when that’s not the case. Once women in general are willingly to be responsible with money and respect a man’s money then that’s that day men have more respect for them when it comes to money.
I literally had a guy walk by me, when I was dressed up and said " I feel like I have to have my stuff together to talk to you" lol you are correct sir. What's funny is that men will measure if they can afford you or not, if they see that your hair /nails are up to part, they know they will have to take over that soon enough.
*Men asking for a hand in marriage in modern days- Dad: so what do you have to offer my daughter? Man/suitor: Actually sir I have nothing to offer her. I was actually hoping she could work a full time job, pay 50% of the bills and 100% of HER feminine & beauty products, then come home after her 8 hour shift to cook, clean, take care of the kids, take care of me, while (obviously) keeping herself as thin and beautiful as she was when I first met her.
Then he will be mad at you and say you are not feminine enough, you are not taking care of me, the women are the pillar of community and stick families together
Pushing it. So what you’re saying is a man should shoulder the financial structure of dating/ relationships? Women are accessories of men? I don’t get it. But hey...find that 6 figure guy and pray you have your attractiveness.
@Vanessa women are the pillar of the community you say? Then why are they choosing to be single mothers? Why are there so many broken homes and future criminals if the world running around?
A B, Pushing it??? Hardly! Ask any men now days and you’ll see this is exactly what they expect: Bills have to be 50/50, but “Hey, cooking, cleaning, kids? That’s a woman’s job, I’M the man of the house” No need to find a man that makes six figures, this is not about a set income but a mentality, six figure earners (and even millionaires) can be stingy as well. A provider will provide regardless of if he makes $50K or $100K. The woman does have to decide what things are non-negotiable, and where she’s willing to compromise. I don’t need the six figures though, my husband actually makes $50K, and loves it now that I’m staying at home. We save $800 /mo. in daycare, I have energy to cater to him, do all errands for the home & everyone in it, and go to the gym. He then comes every day to a clean, relaxing home with a warm home-cooked meal waiting for him. I don’t think an ACCESSORY could give him that.
Ahhhhhhhh the provider...lucky you. But it helps you also don’t complain to him I’m sure. Most women are not that way.but good for you if you are. And for the record, a lot of men make that , and would do more, yet women still love to complain how there not many of us out there lol. No, it’s just that’s not really attractive to most (not you ) women. Most sensible guys are not like that, but the choose to remain unmarried.
Omg I went on a date with someone who makes close to half a million and he wanted to take me out for coffee on our first date. I told him no. Smh. So then he offered dinner. So yea it doesn’t matter what their status is.
Yvonne oliea,yvonne girl I know! If I don’t know you, I don’t want to be at a dinner with you. It could be a horrible 1-2 hours that I can’t get out of easy. Plus u not going to ruin my meal 😂
@@TopHat_VR828 I disagree. I hate how women love to throw the term gold digger to shame women into settling. She set the standards of how she wants to be treated and he obliged by meeting the standards. If it was a "gold digger" test, he wouldn't have taken her out. Society has brainwashed women into 50/50 bullshit. It is a man's job to provide and protect and a woman's job to nurture and care for. The woman is the prize and should be treated as such. So sorry you don't see yourself as worth it.
I feel like men who are not generous will also be frugal with their emotions, their care, their kindness, their time and their love (stingy & selfish). A giving man has more of themselves to give because it is called selflessness...return these men to sender...honey you preached on this sermon we need to get Chloe a pulpit and a calypso organ...CHUCH! I have to say the pictures in the video have me crying...
@Bufftygirl 72 yep...that is a character trait that most women ignore until it is too late....you see these characteristics in the dating stage which is when someone should really be putting their best foot forward...
This is true.. I can attest to this personally. I had an ex who was cheap (monetarily and emotionally) . Needless to say, we broke up and I am now with someone who is the total opposite and is a provider.
Yes this is true because a mans emotions is attached to his wallet, he shows his love for you by spoiling and spending money on you.. this is why men feel used when they spend money on women and get played
When I came to the US I was shocked by the entitlement of men that thought I owed them something because they told me I was beautiful, I couldn’t believe that some women would actually open their legs over a compliment... after a few years I’ve seen with my own eyes why men have developed this expectation, it’s because some women DO actually give it up for a few pretty words, this is a HUGE lack of self-esteem .
Yup, dating culture is so different here compared to where I grew up. Women here chase men! Where I’m from women are showered with gifts and compliments on dates and there’s no intimacy expected while here a guy expect you to fuck him after he buys you a cheese burger. Casual sex really ruined womens power dynamic when it comes to dating.
I agree. In my country women make men wait for sex, and expect more, like going out to dinners, a man usually provides for his family, women value themselves and that is why men value them too! Here in america men are cheap and want sex right away. Other countries men are still gentlemen
Wow. He acts like going on dates is a bad thing. I definitely don't deal with guys who don't want to take me out. I am not doing Netflix and Chill with someone I don't know. They will definitely try to pull it.
@@dnw75 I've learnt many of lessons. From this shit. Had one guy get my number. We talked for 3 months. When I gave the address and time to meet me for a dinner (fridays😏) he quickly came up with an excuse . " my mom fell and I have to take her to the hospital ". Didnt hear from him until the next day. He hit me up like nothing never happen. I took a break from talking with him. Then out of nowhere he said he will come and see me. I gave him my address we fire stick and chilled. He fell asleep, woke up ask me what time it was. I said 525am. He put on his clothes like superman and burnt rubber leaving my apartment. Never heard from him again. I will NEVER fall for dumb shit like this again.
@@alunalalune8691 yea I used to give 6 months to get to know them and so on. In 2 or 3 weeks Its not happening the way it sapose to , then on to the next. I'll admit I made up in my mind the imaginary relationship, because he was a cop with his own everything, no kids and around my age. Dead are the days where I view a mans potential, to possibly be my husband. Dead are the days where I tell a man what I'm looking for. Dead are the days where I talk too much about myself and tell them how much I make and so on. Dead are the days i entertain bums with NOTHING . Just because they look good , with good d**ck. After a while certain shit dont get you excited anymore.. if your not 40 sumthin with your own. I'm Gucci ✌🏽
@@vaniathomas8859 We've all been there girl. I remember meeting a guy once & he called me 2 or 3 hours later asking what I was doing. I was getting ready to go out with a male friend of mine. So this guy asks if he could come by & see me before I go. I looked at the phone as if it were crazy, lol. I was like, dude I just met you 3 hours ago, no you can't come to my house. I told him to call me when he was ready to go out somewhere. Over the next couple of weeks he would call to talk & after the 1st 2 calls, I realized he would be a time waster. I stopped answering his calls after that.
I have a cousin who is really wealthy. When he and his wife got a divorce, the wife told the judge she only wants 15grand to get off her feet. My rich cousin got so upset and said he can't believe she asked for so much. This was coming from a guy that has millions. Some guys are so disgusting.
Black women need to hop on the hypergamous bandwagon and marry for their future instead of focusing solely on skin color. When I moved out to LA several years ago, I noticed that certain cultures followed it to a T. Nigerians and Persians are two prime examples of hypergamous concentrated cultures. When I observe my Iranian friends I noticed all of them are taught to marry up. The men are taught to provide hence why many Iranians are financially successful and Iranian women are taught from a very young age to be feminine, take care of their looks, and marry a successful man. Leave that cheap miser alone, focus on yourself, and marry up and to a man who can treat you the way you deserve as a woman.
@@LetsTalkwithLaPrecious yup and you'll have absolutely beautiful children with them, a VERY nice life and good credit. And your kids will be set for life.
Remember ladies, rich men can be cheap dusties too. Hate when rich men use their wealth to catch attention but don’t want to provide for you. Yuck, have sadly met a few of these.
Christina like I said before men ( using the term loosely)like him are equivalent to a trump supporter. Always on a channel that is not meant for them,spouting off their bullshit for they have no life of their own, deflect, play the whataboutism game, bring up bullshit rhetoric with no facts, so on and so forth. 😂 Probably doesn’t even have a job or works as a cashier for Wal -Mart. (I mean who in the hell in corporate America would hire someone named Hillard Liggins?🤣🤣 his resume would be in the shredder for a shitty name like that alone, lmao.) Although my moniker on You Tube is Kil Dem , my real name would get me hired faster than him, in fact I could bet a grand easily that it would. It’s a travesty that some of these men are so deleterious , that even nuclear waste would be better than them. Smh.
Growing up I didn’t see my parents being affectionate towards each other or towards me. I don’t ever recall my dad taking out my mom on dates or doing nice things for her. My dad worked all day and came home expecting food and things to be done. I saw my mother doing things at the house that a man should be doing. My dad would see her doing it and not even offer help. Though my dad paid rent and things like that but still. My dad also never spent time with me or taught me anything about men. Both my parents are narcissistic. From them I was set up to get with dudes that I had to “finance” until I woke up and saw the light. My mother was also verbally abusive, told me I was ugly and that no man would want me! I always wanted to be girly, girly but my mother never encouraged that at all! I am more of an alpha woman now but I still want a man thats a provider and treats me like a queen. I have no role models, the only smart one was a cousin of mine who married a wealthy man and is now a stay at home wife with two kids. She lives in a huge house with a pool and everything. The rest of the women in my family...are a mess!
Leïla G Ahh I don’t speak to her anymore because of something she did when my nephew died 3 years ago. However, when I used to talk to her I had gone to her house and she was really living the good life. She married an European.
My first husband earned well into the 6 figures but wouldn't provide for me to save his life. Both my dad and my grandfather were providers to my mother and grandmother as they were both able to stay home and care for their children. I made the mistake of thinking that a husband with money will be a provider. I learned quickly that there's difference between a provider and someone who earns money. Just because a man has money doesn't mean that he's going to give it to you. I'm happy to report that I'm out of that marriage and I'm now with a loving man who doesn't believe in going dutch, 50/50 on providing a secured lifestyle. I will make sure that my future daughter knows the difference!! Thank you so much for your content!
To be honest, ever since listening to Chloe_, I pay more attention to a man's actions than his words. I'm not dating anybody and like most black women, my femininity has been stolen from me under the guise of "being fast", so at 28 I'm learning to be tap into my femininity and using what I know at work with my male coworkers. I have one male coworker who talks big but doesn't deliver. Therefore I take everything he says at face value until I see delivered results. Sounds like that's a good tip to use into dating, too.
...yeah, I was with a dusty this time last year...in fact, his dusty image came up in my FB memories today!...thankfully, that is no longer my reality....thank you, Chloe.
Girl this was for me. I just got rid of a man that spoiled me before I got with him but once I did he thought he was gone treat me cheap lol this confirmed that I made the right decision !
When I voice hypergamy online I get so many dude who say I’m just broke. No I’m not not I just wasn’t raised like that and my younger naïve self did that whole 50/50 or taking care of a man for a year bc he didn’t want to look for jobs and I learned a valuable lesson. I’m worth more and I raised my standards. Because of who I am I’m able to attract what I need and want. Nothing is outa reach for me anymore. I finally got a real man and I see I’m never supposed to come out my wallet for anything
abdi Saleban you sound dumb bc i clearly stated “or” between 50/50 and taking care of a man. If you actually took the time to read like you took the time to be negative you would know I’m saying I’m not doing 50/50 OR taking care of a man. Jack ass. Also for some women abortion isn’t a option because they know (including myself) killing an innocent life is murder. Hypergamy is normal in all cultures so the fact you really have a problem with women not taking care or going 50/50 with a man says a lot about you and nothing positive. Everyone has a right to be loved they way they want and I understand if hypergamy isn’t for you however I have great examples of happy marriages that practice hypergamy my parents to be one of them. Nothing wrong with it and for me if it’s not broke don’t fix it.
*Chloe thank you for explaining that stingy men can be well off too. It is so disappointing to be anywhere with a cheap man. I met an air traffic controller that was fine, drives a new Lexus and lived in a nice neighborhood. What most women want. On our date he took me to a decent place but took me to the rooftop past all the activities, food etc. to the mini bars no food etc. As the date went on, he clearly said he would NEVER get married again and that he would want a prenup etc. Needless to say that was the last time I dealt with him. I deserve and will only accept a REAL DATE with A REAL MAN. *
Great topic Chloe_. This is where vetting would be useful. Your significant other says a lot about how you feel about yourself. Remember you chose this man and continued to stay with him. A man should be very generous with his woman. This is included in the provider protection package. ❤️
What are women supposed to be providing for the man's generosity. It has to be more than just being a woman. It seems to me women want to make as much as men. But want to keep their income and let the man use all his income to provide. Somehow this is supposed to be satisfying for the man. It's not
@@ericalevene3125 All men and women are real. Because a man pays all the bills it doesn't make him more real than any other man. If a man is able to take care of everything and is ok with that then that is cool. You can be a provider without paying all the expenses. My question was what's in it for the man. Why would a man want to do this if their is no upside for him
RESPECT. Women respect sacrifice, leadership, protection and generosity. I support women teaching other women to assume traditional gender roles and stay away from men who do not adhere to that standard. When I met my husband I RESPECTED him before I even liked him and that respect has been what has helped us resolve conflict, raise children, flip properties and stay married. I COULD work 40+ hours a week and earn just as much or more than him, but I don't because he values what I do at home. I do medical mission work to keep my license to practice up to date, but a lot of males would see a woman like me as a MEAL TICKET so they can play XBOX all day
Michael Ewell If you are a man of wealth, you are not concerned with how much money she puts in your pocket. If you are a masculine wealthy provider male; your view of women is that of you taking care of her. Not competing with her. Stop masculizing women them crying we aren’t feminine. Feminine women receive. It is what it is.
Michael Ewell man want a partner, meaning they know that at the end of the day there will be someone waiting for them. They are going get trust, honesty and loyalty with that person. Does that answer your question.
I myself is a saver and like to spend my money wisely but I do treat myself very well. Any man in my life, should be responsible with his money but treating me cheap. Will never be attractive.
I get women mad at me and have attitudes towards me. When l tell them l haven’t worked in 12 years. What they don’t know is. l have Checks coming in. My husband pays ALL the bills. He will not let me pay bills and when we go out to eat etc.......
Let me tell you my story !!! I went on a date with a financialy wealthy man he told me I could choose any place I wanted i was so infatuated and chose the most expensive restaurant he was like ok Happy to just be able to see me and I was thinking oh seems like man really can provide and isn't cheap so the date went well he impressed me he was very smart now we are together likes to buy me whatever I want but sometimes says we should live modestly and that he's a very cheap man so I have to remind him that that is a lie and put him in his place when he tries that sht on me he is still very obsessed with me and he probably is cheap but I make sure he isn't with me because he's wealthy
Hypergamy is my new religion and you are my pastor! Outstanding video. I love the correlation between narcissism and stinginess. It makes perfect sense.
The narcissism and cheapness comment rings so true. Recently reconnected with a well off (formerly cheap, selfish) ex who wanted to take me to dinner after 4 years and all the behaviors that caused me to leave the first time were clearly still there. Dinner and drinks lasted hours while he tried to cover every topic imaginable while he drank water at the bar after purchasing one cocktail for each of us...finally, after a couple hours, I decided to get a second drink to get me through all the nodding and I had to pull out my card to pay for it. Take your wallet and your Mercedes and go back to where you've been wallowing for the past 4 years..I've got my own. No thx.
@@hillsideonly the assumptions of this reply is appalling. You’re clearly responding in accordance to the chip on your shoulder. No one should be a sacrificial lamb and anyone who agrees with that is selfish. Also, the silly goose comment is rude.
So true about negotiating. A stingy man will never agree to negotiate with a woman on opening his purse because his entire aim is getting the absolute most for the absolute least. Had an incident like this with an ex on V-Day. Despite my attempts for a middle ground like not getting roses and opting for a succulent plant, celebrating the day after, and even trying to get him a gift in ‘return’, my Dusty ex fought tooth and nail to not reciprocate. It wasn’t until I did a lot of self work and therapy that I realized what the pit in my stomach felt when I was trying to rationalize what all the ‘at least’s in my mind actually was. I felt cheap. I felt like a cheap date. And more importantly, it was clear that he wasn’t going out of his way to just be cheap, he was going out of his way to ensure I didn’t feel special. Even when I tried to make him feel special both on this holiday and other occasions like his birthday, he STILL made a point to ensure I wouldn’t feel special when it was my ‘turn’. And instead of continuing to try and convince such a man to treat me the way I wish to be treated, I started to question what I was with a man who’s so committed to making me feel less than cherished.
@@lavonnealexander6936 it means that he's gunning for relationship benefits ( possible extra resources pickme's love to give) before being worthy. Early pet names is part of the word salad manipulation tactic to get you to do for him and let your guard down and prematurely bond with him.
@Nasha B Exactly! Crazy fast pet names is such a ignorant dust move! It used to work when I was a young, sheltered teen but I caught on to that ish real quick.🙄 Nowadays they are so bold they'll use it while catcalling 😖🤢. I'm so glad us black women are finally waking up and using their dust repellent! Hypergamy is the true women impowerment movement 🙌
Nicole Orridge a lot of them are dating Asian women out here in la.. I really be wanting to ask these non black women do they have any issues with them being stingy with them 🤔
@@DreamyTee123 So it probably is as another commenter stated. It boils down to them seeing the women as being worth being generous to. Asians are more valuable to them possibly. I do know there is rampant colorism among our population. Lighter skinned women are seen as more desirable...Trying to 'raise their color'.
Just like a Louis Vitton store NEVER has a bargain or clearance rack but yet people who can AFFORD to go in there and spend do it every day with no problem because they know they are getting QUALITY GOODS!!! So be a Louis Vittion store, not TJMaxx
This is crazy how are many woman dealing with cheap men what does that say about you ok,, ladies charge it to the game if he is cheap its only because he sees no value in you,,,, Nothing more or less
Not the woman but some women. Let's not act like women are conducting themselves with a lot of class these days. If the quality of men is down it might reflect the quality of the women
I broke up with a cheap narrcissist man when I began to notice that whenever we were on casual outtings and I saw a trinket that I wanted ($20 sun hat) he'd always sternly say "you t need that!" Note, I never asked him to buy me anything. Anyway, I took stock of what he actually bought me over 10 months and came up with cheap dinner/lunch & not much else. I realized that he was trying to get me to dull my shine by doing less for myself. He really could not afford to date anyone. I went ghost on him👻 after the hat incident. Regretted not doing it sooner.
“A woman who is the presence of a man who is tight-fisted will not feel good. And she will not feel safe and secure or protected.” We’d be hard pressed to find a more true statement. 😢
I tried her but she is extreme to the point of blurring the lines when it comes to dignity and respect. Chloe is way more palatable. Unlike the other there is no games, no manipulation. Chloe encourages you to show up in all your feminine glory, make it clear what you expect and know when to walk away all the while maintaining your class and dignity.
Yes! This is my dad! Stingy and cheap. This is how I was groomed to be a pleaser because if I was good and helpful enough, I could EARN the crumbs he'd give. Usually he said No anyway. I see how my mom turned out - resentful. That was a good lesson too..No more! I am the prize. I deserve to be cared for and adored.
Facts! I just commented that even the poorest man will find a way to get money for what/who they want! One man straight up told me he wish he could afford to have a wife like me, he told me to never settle and every man has some type of game they playing with you!
Yes ma’am. Do you have a background in psychology because you be reading these men for filth lol. I promise you now that I’ve raised my standards and changed my appetite, the dusties don’t even look my way, instead I’m being greeted by higher quality men. A man that is stingy with time and attention will also be stingy with his wallet. Definite correlation.
In what way did you change you appetite for men? And what are the new standards you raised? I'm not sure where to start. I keep being attached to the looks of certain men and i don't know how to change my appetite so that the looks won't be enough to attract me. Any advice is appreciated sis
L S well it’s not easy. At the root of my “appetite” we’re deeper issues that I worked on. As an attractive woman, I attracted attractive men who weren’t dusties but I wasn’t aware of my value and worth. I stopped dating and resolved the issues in me that allowed for casual sex with no sort of investment or commitment. I went to therapy.. I changed my friend group. I read. I have no social media..(beside RUclips) what I’m attracted to began to change. It’s a process, but if you’re tired of being “used” and or attracting a certain guy, I charge you to do the difficult task of looking at your past and within and get to the root of it so you can have better or deeper love for yourself ❤️🥰 and then recognize the man that loves you at the same or better volume that you love you!
@@Pmatt1 thank you so much for your advice. I have some childhood wounds of not feeling good enough and growing up in a environment as an ethnic minority and being the only non white girl in high school resulted in me getting zero attention from guys growing up as I wasn't their type. Resulted in me thinking I wasn't attractive at all. Yet as a woman now I know I am. Sometimes i feel the kid in me still believes that
I agree, my 2 male coworkers came to me and said “it costs money to keep women, aint that right hent?” . They know that women like me require money to maintain and to keep happy lol
Same, but I think we both learned a lot from that, seeing how cheap men work, how they think and knowing how to recognise them early on is a great advantage to have. It helped me tremendously moving forward and in well over 3 years I have not dated a single cheap man at all 😂
Amber Brooklyn my father was soo damn cheap and dusty he hated spending money on me it was very rare that he would by me anything my aunts and cousins had to give me clothes. He had a well paying job, so he had no excuse he just didn’t like spending money. He was so cheap whenever he had women, he never took them out on dates but they had to come over his house if they wanted to visit him because it was cheaper that way smh. And then he was married twice and was abusive and stayed unemployed in both marriages while the women went to work and paid the bills. Women liked him just because he looked good. I hate that bitch ass nigga 😡that piece a shit....
Angelina Kecojevic that’s good girl. I learned my lesson too; don’t fuck with broke men, and don’t build a man. I was sooo stupid I did both. I didn’t know any better smh. But my ex was an all around dusty. Cheap, broke, selfish, a liar, a user, manipulative. I did so much for him and got nothing back in return. I get so angry with myself sometimes when I think about it. He was using me the whole time 🤦🏽♀️. But it’s a lesson learned.
That’s true! I used to be cheap with myself (skin care/make up clothing/healthy foods) and I attracted Netflix and chill boys or boys who just wanted to take me on a coffee date or 50/50 boys! Now I’ve changed a lot! I’ve spent a lot of stuff on me! Taking care of myself in every ways! Never attracted those kind of guys ever! They don’t even try to approach me anymore!
Chloe I am 19 and i am just happy i associated with high class people, but while dating i realized i wasn't being treated the way it was supposed to be, i was crying almost every night because of the mistreated. Now i wanna be better , i wanna say thank you.....i have increased my value as i have grown
"Stinginesss and narcissism go hand to hand" BRILLIANT. Women problem is that we dont listen to each other, men do. A bad man can influence a god man to be cheap with his woman,but a wise sister like you cannot convince another one. Sisters LISTEN!!!!
I just say goodbye to a man who repeatedly call me "gold digger" because i never offered to pay and we hang out a very few times. I told him I was used to men who spoiled me and he told me he that one time he invited a girl to dinner, the bill was about 250 euro and he decided to escape from the restaurant through the restroom's bathroom leaving the lady alone. I blocked him everywhere almost in shock
My father ALLLLLLLLLLLL DAY! I HAVE NEVER SEEN MY OWN FATHER INVEST IN THE WOMEN IN THE HOUSE INCLUDING MYSELF! Only paid bills. I am determined to work opposite to everything I grew up knowing and now to break those habits by investing in myself and my own femininity. Thank you Chloe ❤️
Great video!! Great topic! It is a frequency for sure..hanging out with cheap women is hard too! I'm a great tipper and enjoy fine places! but there is another side! i must say I get called cheap by friends when I am on a budget month or clean eating month with a financial goal or health goal. some friends like to go out eating/drinking every night of the week ! I hate it when an undiciplined friend considers me cheap during a time period where I'm just being disciplined! we've got to find the balance in it all so much nuance to these topics--- those convos that praise the woman for helping him are so manipulitive! Love your channel!
I really NEEDED this video in college. I’m subbing my daughter to this channel in high school so she arms herself early when dealing with dating when she’s older. The videos are so full of wisdom in small, digestible packages. Anyone can benefit from that format.
Chloe, you are beating me with your words to wake up. Thanks. My ex told me everything he thought I wanted to hear. I was so foolish to fall for him. He never loved me, he loved how I treated him. One day I asked him for a down payment for a car and that's the last I heard from him. Lol its funny but sometimes I just feel ashamed of myself.
Chile! A guy approached me on the train and was telling me about how he was dating a girl who wanted him to pay to get her hair done. He then asked me is I did my own hair and I told him I did. He was then like oh, you’re pretty, lol! I guess he needed to see if I would be a woman who’d ask for money lol!
Eye opening...how l treat myself becomes the standard...we must always expect and except only the best...then its not even a question, when a (un-giving) individual is present.
Thx Chloe 👍🏾..I dated some cheap men in the past and dropped them like hot cakes... I hate men who are tight .I know my worth ..... .Listening from....Uk..London 🌷⚘
I respect that but it depends on where he is cheap and if he has goal in mind. I know this is an extreme example but Warren Buffet one of top riches people in world is very cheap. He brought a home 31,000 in 50s still lives there, now worth about million. In order for men and women to get where they are want to financially you make sacrifices.
What is your worth. Just because you are you a man should want to take care of you. What are you providing besides sex for that man to want to take care of you. Does the man have the means to take care of you? Are expecting more from the man than your willing tho give? That's selfish too
Signs your dating a cheapskate ...😲 1 Pays for your date with a coupon 2 Always forgets his wallet when your out on a date … 3 Prefers to Stay home and watch Netflix 4 His dream date is a walk around the park 5 He always expects you to pay half the bill 50/50 syndrome .. 6 ATM Syndrome....
My BIGGEST turn off when it comes to men is when they’re cheap! If he’s cheap or stingy, it’s automatically not gonna work out cuz I’m too high maintenance for that 🙅🏽♀️
Ladies, here’s a tip to check a mans temperature and pull any masks off sooner than later.....met a guy on Hinge - dated for 2 weeks he seemed “perfect” lol sent him Chloe video about “why men can’t have it both ways” omg - whole table turned ...narcissist revealed. He said “this is horrible. We’re due for a chat around this” had the nerve to ask me what did I bring to the table...considering the things that he has done for me “dinner dates, hanging out etc” we started going back and forth almost felt like a argument and I’m like hold the phone - this is what your future will be like with this man 💭 I was like oh hell no, Chloe taught me those are red flag words......I’’m out. Haven’t talked to him since!
Now I have learned in general that being on dating apps in general powers your value because men assume u are in their for sex and may be treating u like meat . It’s best to cAtch someone in person 🎣
This seems like a response to my letter to Chloe yesterday... recently met a man of means who seems frugal to a fault. Constantly complaining about his finances and how much he has to budget and incessantly mentioning the previous month's expenses and how he needs to wait until the date (that number is etched in my mind now 🤣) of his credit card statement to do more big spending. He has done so well for himself and yet one of his biggest fears is still being broke. He takes risks and invests big but he is so cheap at his lovely home. Now we have a mini road trip coming up and the quick budget he put out there had my head rolling... now I've been to the place we're going and I know what it will take and he mentioned a budget of roughly 1/3 of that. I don't even feel like going anymore. Not to mention I already have an earful about all the expenses he has coming up for this month... I need an out. My first sort of leveling up relationship but he is still a dusty. Oh we went on a lunch date once and the man ordered one drink (because I insisted) and then had the rest of mine when I was done. RUN! Honestly, I think I gave of stingy/frugal vibes.... it stings but it's true. But this was a test run... #ONTOTHENEXT!
Imma do that. Cuz I have no more time to give to dusty men. At least with a broke one you know what you're getting... I think stingy men of means are worse. Bye to both types.
@@stayingdisciplined1456 Really doesn't matter much, honestly. I happen to know it shouldn't put a dent in his bank account. And if it will then he is obviously not ready to be a provider for a family.
Addition to the first post, it's only been 6 weeks. I have everything of my own. Take care of my fairly new SUV, my home, have a profession... not just a job. I afford myself some of the finer experiences in life as well. And I grew up seeing a mother stressed out paying it all with a dad still around and doing "when he can".... plus I've had the tendency to be so uncomfortable and embarrassed about money I would flip my cash or my platinum credit card out just to avoid any uncomfortable situations on dates or even out with friends. But no more.... he would eventually see a good partner in me but I'm already scared off by his mindset which is 50-50, and not provider-protector, while he flaunts wads of cash around the place and talks about all the money he has, all the investments he has ... he has a lack mentality and is trying to hold on to what he has with dear life. Next story.... we went to a movie and at intermission, dude doesn't even offer water. I was fasting but to simply prove a point I asked what he needed and he didn't hesitate to list it out. Needless to say I got my water and everything else he needed and handed it to him on a tray. For said road trip coming up he already searched the menu for the place we want to go to with the prices on Instagram and sent it to me.... dunno if he wants me to choose now so he can budget or if he wants me to be aware of it so I can be prepared to pay my own way.... I have not addressed it. #RUN
A man with Generosity of Spirit is never in poverty. If a man is a poor tipper, walks past homeless instead of acknowledging them, asks for change back from charitable giving. RUN!!!
Thank goodness my sister introduced me to your channel. I could have easily been the 50/50 girl and fallen into the dusty trap but your channel has taught me a looooot...That I literally knew nothing about before! Its because of you that I've chosen to bask in and embrace my femininity! Thanks a lot @Chloe_! ❤❤❤
Always grateful for your brutal honesty. It hurts to identify with with having a “pick me” spirit, but I also know that you can’t change what you don’t acknowledge.
I do not do cheap. Cheap dates, cheap ways equal a cheap life; These same fools invest the least and expect a Gabby Union, Halle Berry or J.Lo look alike with porn star sex and all this king treatment. Not even worth the time and attention I tell you.
Cheap women end up with cheap men!! Why would someone want to spend money on you if you don’t want to spend money 💰on yourself. Even if you have beer 🍺 money you should have a champagne 🥂 taste.
I feel like men should give their women and allowance. My dad and my dads friend both give their women allowances even though my dads friend wife works and my mom doesn’t have to work. They give them allowance just so they can take care of themselves and keep their own money in their pockets. 🙂
This is sadly seen on the very first date. In my case our first date was subway, and a walk in a local park. 8 years later he expects our children to only wear thrifted clothes, and he never ever drives near a mall or a movie theatre to avoid our children to ask to go. Also when my dad pays for the meal after he “forgets” his wallet, my husband is the one who eats the most at the table.
Your videos have me thinking on a whole different level! Can you please do a video on the top standards/boundaries that every hypergamous woman should follow? That would be amazing!! Keep doing what your doing!
This is my favorite video! A man ain’t even allowed to say hello to me at the store unless he pays for everything I put on the counter💯 trying to talk to me after Watching me pay for my own items screams cheap.
There are some things that were missed when I was a child. I am glad to hear this. I have friend from high school who exhibited girly behavior as far as clothing, make up but the conditioming of the mind is real. I'm glad she has came along and showed at age 15 this was ok. Although, I did not get it all the way, I get it now.
Yes Men are stingy can be rich or low income- and its can be very narcissism because you are their to please him- he dont give a damn about taking care of you. Also many men are insecure to the point that they dont do anything for you- so just incase you leave he has never given anything its doesnt have a lost
This guy always talked about his money, property etc....Now on our ONLY date... the waiter brought the bill which was like $80 and this dusty sat there looking at me saying I don't have enough $$$😐 he never even fought me for the bill. I took out a $40 and got up. He rushed put $60 and gave me a 20 back. I should've Ubered home but i told him i need to go home and cut the short date. Ignored his calls and texts for weeks and finally told him he made me feel uncomfortable and can't go out with him again. he's still begging me for another date saying it was a Meet up and he was not sure of my standards!!!! Ummm BYE DUSTY🖐🏽
She didn't necessarily played it well!! Fact he tried it an saw her standards n asked for a second chance can also mean he tried her n saw n really is interested in her.. Don't forget ladies that guys will try u too cause each is "trying to see" u have to know both sides to play the perfect game.. She wouldn't lose much having a second date n b sure but could of gained a lot..
My soon to be ex husband is cheap asf. Im very generous. I think its my generosity that made him more cheap. Me constantly giving him gifts or buying stuff i know he needs without him asking made him cheap with me because he knows ill just get it for myself if i feel the need to ask more than once or i just dont want to waste my time.
Also had one of my moms friends tell me. When a man see you hes wondering how much money he have to spend to be with you.
That’s why I wear a dress, my hair is down, I have my mani and pedi makeup done heels on and a basic designer bag - so they know
If that’s a problem then they can make use of that hand and stay alone.
MsCoconutconjurer some men might think you’re rich and start expecting you to pay.
@@moisellemade4665 yea that has been the story of my life. Because I dress nice. And look like i have money they start asking me for money here and there.
My husband gives me 1000 cash every week
Being stingy is a sin. In Arab culture a man being cheap is reason enough for divorce. A man that is cheap is without honor
@Love 23Amazed wowww. I can't wait for my trip to dubai next month
I would not trade my time in the Middle East for the WORLD! I would make it a point to cover my hair with HIGH QUALITY scarves in colorful Fabrics like Modanisa. Go to Nordstrom Rack and by a lot of flowing, long Maxi Dresses and sheer tops with well fitting tanks underneath you'll look classy and not spend much. You want to be modest, yet sexy. You will get the right male attention when you go to the restaurants and shopping centers especially if your makeup is done right. Lancôme Teint Idole stands up against the heat really well. I also suggest the Lips Bar Fast Face kits. Men there really like the no make-up makeup look.
sovereign blackwoman I’m converting ☺️
Syteria there’s Arab Christian men
N.W.A. You’re always under this videos comments being a pathetic troll. Go find a life loser.
Nothing worse than a cheap &selfish man.. they always want to give the least to receive the most..👐🏾 never settle .. you determine your worth and it’s NONNEGOTIABLE!!
April Joi love your channel!
TamarBeLike thanks so much 💕💕
Your channel is SO GOOD omg .. #newsubbie and ur beautiful btw
April Joi major facts 💁🏽♀️🏆💯
💯💯💯💯
“Narcissism & cheapness goes hand and hand like peanut butter and jelly” 😂 facts
It's funny but its the truth omg 😂😂 my ex would plan dates but right when those dates were suppose to happen he would conveniently cancel due to a scheduling conflict or something with work. I really think he would cancel to keep from spending so much money. Also whenever I would talk about going on vacation overseas he would always talk about going the cheap way. No sir 🤢
TheSomethingnew1 I’ve come across many black men like that. It’s such a turnoff 🤮
@@TheSomethingnew1 same here. When I no longer went over to chill and asked for a real date, he was suddenly "busy". He had the money to spend on himself bad basement apartment...but literally not a dime or meal. I was repeatedly offered his roommates leftovers. God protect me from these bums.
TheSomethingnew1 big facts
True!!! I've experienced people like this in life.
“He’s not broke sis, you just don’t turn him on financially”. Men take care of things that they care about. Cars, children, women, etc.
Exactly. Sad but true
Oh chelsea,its true.
Elizabeth Noir absolutely. It was a quote I saw earlier that’s why I put it in quotes
So no man is broke ?
Chelsea J all faxxxxx
I told a man that has been interested in me for a while but i haven't given him the time of day until more recently. We were playing with the idea of me flying out to see him....in that conversation i told him that i dont believe in paying for dates. He asked me why. I explained that if a man couldn't pay for my meal what would leave me to believe that he is able to support a household. I have not heard from him since.
amarie9
Sweets.... you dogged a bullet for sure’ and it’s true! I can’t stand a broke bastard 🙄’ always wants but never willing to give shit 😒
amarie9 serve your right
@Hillard Liggins and im ok with that.
@@plusstaff01 it was a blessing in disguise to me.
@Rainbow swirling Island girl for real. When i explained my reasoning, he did say a few things before going dead. He said "men need to be pampered too". And its not the 30s anymore. This took me out because in my experience it is usually the woman that does it all. Work, cook, take care of children(homework, haircuts, dr appointments etc) clean the house,pamper the man. The man usually works, does yard work once and a while and hangs out with friends. Like not saying you dont need pampering but at this point i might as well be alone or be the man in the relationship. If im gonna do all of that. The least you can do is pay the bills
Men show love by taking care of their women. If he cannot spend some money on you there are chances that he cannot even share his emotions and love with you. A stingy man will never do anything right by you.
Women associate love with money. Men associate love with sex. Human nature rules all!
@@EduardoOliveira-zx9ju You stated that "Men associate love with sex". I disagree with that because men are able to compartmentalize their feelings in a way that most women aren't able to. It's the same reason why men can easily have sex with someone they have a full on hatred for, just like the slave masters.
It just means they can dispose of the female when they've had enough due to no love lost. This is why these channels often tell women that they need to raise their standards and practice being less emotional.
@@EduardoOliveira-zx9ju When a man is in love, his first instinct is to take care and protect his woman. That is how men show love. By being providers and protectors. Women show love by nurturing
@referral madness Thanks for clarifying my point. Funny how you didn't even get the gist of your own statement because it's loaded with 'emotional rage'. Go back to my previous comment and read it all the way through. 'Goal diggers' are women with raised standards who are able to put their actions into practice, while being less emotional...has the coin dropped yet?.
Kay Ade gold diggers are women think they need materialistic things to be happy in the relationship when that’s not the case. Once women in general are willingly to be responsible with money and respect a man’s money then that’s that day men have more respect for them when it comes to money.
I literally had a guy walk by me, when I was dressed up and said " I feel like I have to have my stuff together to talk to you" lol you are correct sir. What's funny is that men will measure if they can afford you or not, if they see that your hair /nails are up to part, they know they will have to take over that soon enough.
Claire Joseph 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽
Yessss!!! 💯💯💯
Exactly! 👏🏾👏🏾
Claire Joseph grown ass man has to have his shit together for himself periodt🤷🏽♀️🤦🏽♀️..tf
@@keishaspatts9559 "uppity" hmm like how racist white would describe blacks who wanted equality?
*Men asking for a hand in marriage in modern days-
Dad: so what do you have to offer my daughter?
Man/suitor: Actually sir I have nothing to offer her. I was actually hoping she could work a full time job, pay 50% of the bills and 100% of HER feminine & beauty products, then come home after her 8 hour shift to cook, clean, take care of the kids, take care of me, while (obviously) keeping herself as thin and beautiful as she was when I first met her.
Then he will be mad at you and say you are not feminine enough, you are not taking care of me, the women are the pillar of community and stick families together
Pushing it. So what you’re saying is a man should shoulder the financial structure of dating/ relationships? Women are accessories of men? I don’t get it. But hey...find that 6 figure guy and pray you have your attractiveness.
@Vanessa women are the pillar of the community you say? Then why are they choosing to be single mothers? Why are there so many broken homes and future criminals if the world running around?
A B, Pushing it??? Hardly!
Ask any men now days and you’ll see this is exactly what they expect: Bills have to be 50/50, but “Hey, cooking, cleaning, kids? That’s a woman’s job, I’M the man of the house”
No need to find a man that makes six figures, this is not about a set income but a mentality, six figure earners (and even millionaires) can be stingy as well. A provider will provide regardless of if he makes $50K or $100K. The woman does have to decide what things are non-negotiable, and where she’s willing to compromise.
I don’t need the six figures though, my husband actually makes $50K, and loves it now that I’m staying at home. We save $800 /mo. in daycare, I have energy to cater to him, do all errands for the home & everyone in it, and go to the gym. He then comes every day to a clean, relaxing home with a warm home-cooked meal waiting for him. I don’t think an ACCESSORY could give him that.
Ahhhhhhhh the provider...lucky you. But it helps you also don’t complain to him I’m sure. Most women are not that way.but good for you if you are. And for the record, a lot of men make that , and would do more, yet women still love to complain how there not many of us out there lol. No, it’s just that’s not really attractive to most (not you ) women. Most sensible guys are not like that, but the choose to remain unmarried.
Don't be fooled either, rich ≠ generous.
Word !
Absolutely true!
This should be common sense.
Least generous and have the most greed.
That's so true. I have a rich cousin who don't even take care of his mom.
Omg I went on a date with someone who makes close to half a million and he wanted to take me out for coffee on our first date. I told him no. Smh. So then he offered dinner. So yea it doesn’t matter what their status is.
CaliCookie Yup they know exactly what they are doing! I REFUSE to go on coffee or drink dates.
Yvonne oliea,yvonne girl I know! If I don’t know you, I don’t want to be at a dinner with you. It could be a horrible 1-2 hours that I can’t get out of easy. Plus u not going to ruin my meal 😂
@@TopHat_VR828 I disagree. I hate how women love to throw the term gold digger to shame women into settling. She set the standards of how she wants to be treated and he obliged by meeting the standards. If it was a "gold digger" test, he wouldn't have taken her out. Society has brainwashed women into 50/50 bullshit. It is a man's job to provide and protect and a woman's job to nurture and care for. The woman is the prize and should be treated as such. So sorry you don't see yourself as worth it.
Coffee isn’t bad depending where you go & if y’all don’t click @ all or you’re NOT feeling him, you can be out 🏃🏽♀️
Yvonne oliea,yvonne exactly ..just get up & go 💁🏽♀️🏃🏽♀️🏃🏽♀️
I feel like men who are not generous will also be frugal with their emotions, their care, their kindness, their time and their love (stingy & selfish). A giving man has more of themselves to give because it is called selflessness...return these men to sender...honey you preached on this sermon we need to get Chloe a pulpit and a calypso organ...CHUCH! I have to say the pictures in the video have me crying...
@Bufftygirl 72 yep...that is a character trait that most women ignore until it is too late....you see these characteristics in the dating stage which is when someone should really be putting their best foot forward...
I AM ENOUGH sammmme these photos are incredible and spot on😭😭
💯🏆
This is true.. I can attest to this personally. I had an ex who was cheap (monetarily and emotionally) . Needless to say, we broke up and I am now with someone who is the total opposite and is a provider.
Yes this is true because a mans emotions is attached to his wallet, he shows his love for you by spoiling and spending money on you.. this is why men feel used when they spend money on women and get played
can we just have a moment of silence, and appreciate Chloe's words of wisdom. my goodness......
Ikr hands down one of the best videos on this topic.
Truth!
Omg! I just found sis and all I gotta day is.... Where you been all my life?! 😂😂
When I came to the US I was shocked by the entitlement of men that thought I owed them something because they told me I was beautiful, I couldn’t believe that some women would actually open their legs over a compliment... after a few years I’ve seen with my own eyes why men have developed this expectation, it’s because some women DO actually give it up for a few pretty words, this is a HUGE lack of self-esteem .
Yup, dating culture is so different here compared to where I grew up. Women here chase men! Where I’m from women are showered with gifts and compliments on dates and there’s no intimacy expected while here a guy expect you to fuck him after he buys you a cheese burger. Casual sex really ruined womens power dynamic when it comes to dating.
@@xiaolongbaoenthusiaist457 Preach 🙌🏻
I agree. In my country women make men wait for sex, and expect more, like going out to dinners, a man usually provides for his family, women value themselves and that is why men value them too! Here in america men are cheap and want sex right away. Other countries men are still gentlemen
Sometimes a man isn’t cheap (or stingy), he’s just not that into you.
Knightwell yep.
This is also correct. If he cheap you don't fit into his lifestyle/social network or you need to keep leveling up.
exactly. some women do not inspire a men to spend money on her.
Knightwell Exactly, even more reason to keep it moving!
This is true. Which is why I have no problem laying out my desires. It separates the time wasters from the men who will and want to give.
I had one guy text me. "Oh I see I gotta take you on dates and stuff"
Me: yup
Him:💨
Wow. He acts like going on dates is a bad thing. I definitely don't deal with guys who don't want to take me out. I am not doing Netflix and Chill with someone I don't know. They will definitely try to pull it.
@@dnw75 I've learnt many of lessons. From this shit. Had one guy get my number. We talked for 3 months. When I gave the address and time to meet me for a dinner (fridays😏) he quickly came up with an excuse . " my mom fell and I have to take her to the hospital ". Didnt hear from him until the next day. He hit me up like nothing never happen. I took a break from talking with him. Then out of nowhere he said he will come and see me. I gave him my address we fire stick and chilled. He fell asleep, woke up ask me what time it was. I said 525am. He put on his clothes like superman and burnt rubber leaving my apartment. Never heard from him again. I will NEVER fall for dumb shit like this again.
@@alunalalune8691 yea I used to give 6 months to get to know them and so on. In 2 or 3 weeks Its not happening the way it sapose to , then on to the next. I'll admit I made up in my mind the imaginary relationship, because he was a cop with his own everything, no kids and around my age. Dead are the days where I view a mans potential, to possibly be my husband. Dead are the days where I tell a man what I'm looking for. Dead are the days where I talk too much about myself and tell them how much I make and so on. Dead are the days i entertain bums with NOTHING . Just because they look good , with good d**ck. After a while certain shit dont get you excited anymore.. if your not 40 sumthin with your own. I'm Gucci ✌🏽
@@vaniathomas8859 We've all been there girl. I remember meeting a guy once & he called me 2 or 3 hours later asking what I was doing. I was getting ready to go out with a male friend of mine. So this guy asks if he could come by & see me before I go. I looked at the phone as if it were crazy, lol. I was like, dude I just met you 3 hours ago, no you can't come to my house. I told him to call me when he was ready to go out somewhere. Over the next couple of weeks he would call to talk & after the 1st 2 calls, I realized he would be a time waster. I stopped answering his calls after that.
@@dnw75 dont forget they will queen you tf to death . To try and get you emotionally attached.
I have a cousin who is really wealthy. When he and his wife got a divorce, the wife told the judge she only wants 15grand to get off her feet. My rich cousin got so upset and said he can't believe she asked for so much. This was coming from a guy that has millions. Some guys are so disgusting.
Black women need to hop on the hypergamous bandwagon and marry for their future instead of focusing solely on skin color. When I moved out to LA several years ago, I noticed that certain cultures followed it to a T. Nigerians and Persians are two prime examples of hypergamous concentrated cultures. When I observe my Iranian friends I noticed all of them are taught to marry up. The men are taught to provide hence why many Iranians are financially successful and Iranian women are taught from a very young age to be feminine, take care of their looks, and marry a successful man. Leave that cheap miser alone, focus on yourself, and marry up and to a man who can treat you the way you deserve as a woman.
That is true. Indian men are hypergamous too and they believe in paying for a woman as well.
strawberriesncandii True about Nigerians. I’m nigerian and we laugh at our friends who date or marry broke men.
So true
Persians run Los Angeles and are all plastic surgeons or lawyers
@@LetsTalkwithLaPrecious yup and you'll have absolutely beautiful children with them, a VERY nice life and good credit. And your kids will be set for life.
Remember ladies, rich men can be cheap dusties too. Hate when rich men use their wealth to catch attention but don’t want to provide for you. Yuck, have sadly met a few of these.
me too, I don't know wich is worst, but definitely loser mindset!
In government job I noticed there's more dusties and pickmeishas, because they are breadcrumbs giver and tha'ts how they are trained.
This is true.
You hate men who don’t want to be taken advantage of by your gold digging needs? How nice 👍
Christina like I said before men ( using the term loosely)like him are equivalent to a trump supporter. Always on a channel that is not meant for them,spouting off their bullshit for they have no life of their own, deflect, play the whataboutism game, bring up bullshit rhetoric with no facts, so on and so forth. 😂 Probably doesn’t even have a job or works as a cashier for Wal -Mart. (I mean who in the hell in corporate America would hire someone named Hillard Liggins?🤣🤣 his resume would be in the shredder for a shitty name like that alone, lmao.) Although my moniker on You Tube is Kil Dem , my real name would get me hired faster than him, in fact I could bet a grand easily that it would. It’s a travesty that some of these men are so deleterious , that even nuclear waste would be better than them. Smh.
Growing up I didn’t see my parents being affectionate towards each other or towards me. I don’t ever recall my dad taking out my mom on dates or doing nice things for her. My dad worked all day and came home
expecting food and things to be done. I saw my mother doing things at the house that a man should be doing. My dad would see her doing it and not even offer help. Though my dad paid rent and things like that but still. My dad also never spent time with me or taught me anything about men. Both my parents are narcissistic. From them I was set up to get with dudes that I had to “finance” until I woke up and saw the light. My mother was also verbally abusive, told me I was ugly and that no man would want me! I always wanted to be girly, girly but my mother never encouraged that at all! I am more of an alpha woman now but I still want a man thats a provider and treats me like a queen. I have no role models, the only smart one was a cousin of mine who married a wealthy man and is now a stay at home wife with two kids. She lives in a huge house with a pool and everything. The rest of the women in my family...are a mess!
As told by Jo u r very beautiful😘 now u know better go b unstoppable n sort what u deserve n is worthy of
Leïla G Ahh I don’t speak to her anymore because of something she did when my nephew died 3 years ago. However, when I used to talk to her I had gone to her house and she was really living the good life. She married an European.
Rokanaak Banaduak Yes I do, I learned a lot of lessons. And thank you for the compliment. I feel like these channels are like the mother I never had.
@@lifelessonswithjo 😊😘
Lazarus STFU
These images have me rolling
Yes, especially the one with the guy in the yellow hiding behind the bushes and Stevie J's messy face 🙃😂
The guy with the yellow suit behind the 🌳 has me 💀
Im glad she doesn't use one picture for the entire video. She really tells a story with her stock images.
Sherine D. They are quite funny 😆
Yesss especially the man holding the money 😂😂
Cheap and broke are the biggest red flags. Something is always wrong with a cheap or broke man. That's always the tip of an iceberg of misery.
My first husband earned well into the 6 figures but wouldn't provide for me to save his life. Both my dad and my grandfather were providers to my mother and grandmother as they were both able to stay home and care for their children. I made the mistake of thinking that a husband with money will be a provider. I learned quickly that there's difference between a provider and someone who earns money. Just because a man has money doesn't mean that he's going to give it to you. I'm happy to report that I'm out of that marriage and I'm now with a loving man who doesn't believe in going dutch, 50/50 on providing a secured lifestyle. I will make sure that my future daughter knows the difference!! Thank you so much for your content!
To be honest, ever since listening to Chloe_, I pay more attention to a man's actions than his words. I'm not dating anybody and like most black women, my femininity has been stolen from me under the guise of "being fast", so at 28 I'm learning to be tap into my femininity and using what I know at work with my male coworkers. I have one male coworker who talks big but doesn't deliver. Therefore I take everything he says at face value until I see delivered results. Sounds like that's a good tip to use into dating, too.
Don’t date your coworkers
@@sierushest1991 using your femininity to your advantage at work has nothing to do with dating your coworkers
They are withholding and still expect you to put out. They want something for nothing 🙄
...yeah, I was with a dusty this time last year...in fact, his dusty image came up in my FB memories today!...thankfully, that is no longer my reality....thank you, Chloe.
Brown Beauty85 I did! Email, text, social media!
Pamela Hollingsworth same lol dude wouldn’t even buy me something worth 88 cents how sad Lmao
Girl this was for me. I just got rid of a man that spoiled me before I got with him but once I did he thought he was gone treat me cheap lol this confirmed that I made the right decision !
Same. Once they think that they "have" you the real version of them comes out.
When I voice hypergamy online I get so many dude who say I’m just broke. No I’m not not I just wasn’t raised like that and my younger naïve self did that whole 50/50 or taking care of a man for a year bc he didn’t want to look for jobs and I learned a valuable lesson. I’m worth more and I raised my standards. Because of who I am I’m able to attract what I need and want. Nothing is outa reach for me anymore. I finally got a real man and I see I’m never supposed to come out my wallet for anything
Lunna Locca It can never be 50/50. We give birth and that’s something they will never be able to do therefore it will never be 50/50.
abdi Saleban you sound dumb bc i clearly stated “or” between 50/50 and taking care of a man. If you actually took the time to read like you took the time to be negative you would know I’m saying I’m not doing 50/50 OR taking care of a man. Jack ass. Also for some women abortion isn’t a option because they know (including myself) killing an innocent life is murder. Hypergamy is normal in all cultures so the fact you really have a problem with women not taking care or going 50/50 with a man says a lot about you and nothing positive. Everyone has a right to be loved they way they want and I understand if hypergamy isn’t for you however I have great examples of happy marriages that practice hypergamy my parents to be one of them. Nothing wrong with it and for me if it’s not broke don’t fix it.
@@salldav7144 war Ina adeer gabdhuhu maxaad karabtaa? Meel kaste aan kuguarkey adoo kuceyneysid gabdhuhu iney yihiin sharmuutooyin . Hishood ; dumarkaan waxey kadaaleen nin uur uyeelo , guursanin kadibna guriga usoo fadhiista . Magacaada ayaad nagu ceybeyneysaa . Fadlan hadaalkaaga kafiirso. Waxay sameey na'yaan waxaad gabadhaada kula talon laheeyd .
When you said cheap women attract cheap men!!!!!!! Oh wow. Hypergamous boundaries Is also so deep
*Chloe thank you for explaining that stingy men can be well off too. It is so disappointing to be anywhere with a cheap man. I met an air traffic controller that was fine, drives a new Lexus and lived in a nice neighborhood. What most women want. On our date he took me to a decent place but took me to the rooftop past all the activities, food etc. to the mini bars no food etc. As the date went on, he clearly said he would NEVER get married again and that he would want a prenup etc. Needless to say that was the last time I dealt with him. I deserve and will only accept a REAL DATE with A REAL MAN. *
He's protecting his assets. All athletes/entertainers and wealthy men do this.
@Eduardo Oliveira. So taking your date to dinner is an asset? She didn't ask for a weekend in Paris. Smh.
@@janschild She says the person refuses to get married without a prenupt
@ Eduardo Oliveira Which is his right. But she was complaining b/c. he didn't take her on a real date. Who talks about that on the first date anyway?
@Coffee AtMidnight he really did waste my time tho
My dad is a cheap man... like Oscar Proud cheap.
😂😂😂
Same here haha
Lovingbwperiod My dad is hella cheap too!
Lmao no you didn’t 😂😂
Girl power, but make it black lol
Great topic Chloe_.
This is where vetting would be useful.
Your significant other says a lot about how you feel about yourself. Remember you chose this man and continued to stay with him.
A man should be very generous with his woman. This is included in the provider protection package. ❤️
What are women supposed to be providing for the man's generosity. It has to be more than just being a woman. It seems to me women want to make as much as men. But want to keep their income and let the man use all his income to provide. Somehow this is supposed to be satisfying for the man. It's not
@@ericalevene3125 All men and women are real. Because a man pays all the bills it doesn't make him more real than any other man. If a man is able to take care of everything and is ok with that then that is cool. You can be a provider without paying all the expenses. My question was what's in it for the man. Why would a man want to do this if their is no upside for him
RESPECT. Women respect sacrifice, leadership, protection and generosity. I support women teaching other women to assume traditional gender roles and stay away from men who do not adhere to that standard. When I met my husband I RESPECTED him before I even liked him and that respect has been what has helped us resolve conflict, raise children, flip properties and stay married. I COULD work 40+ hours a week and earn just as much or more than him, but I don't because he values what I do at home. I do medical mission work to keep my license to practice up to date, but a lot of males would see a woman like me as a MEAL TICKET so they can play XBOX all day
Michael Ewell If you are a man of wealth, you are not concerned with how much money she puts in your pocket. If you are a masculine wealthy provider male; your view of women is that of you taking care of her. Not competing with her. Stop masculizing women them crying we aren’t feminine. Feminine women receive. It is what it is.
Michael Ewell man want a partner, meaning they know that at the end of the day there will be someone waiting for them. They are going get trust, honesty and loyalty with that person. Does that answer your question.
A man is about providing and protecting.. If his isnt providing then he isnt investing, if he isnt investing then their is no love. Plain and simple.!
In government job I noticed there's more dusties and pickmeshas, because they are breadcrumbs giver and that's how they are trained.
You talking about investing on a woman? What he get in return? Unless he teach her who to make money also.
I myself is a saver and like to spend my money wisely but I do treat myself very well. Any man in my life, should be responsible with his money but treating me cheap. Will never be attractive.
Yep it's important that he not be stupid with his money, but at the same I want to be treated well with that money!
sylvia baskin Same here! I consider myself to be a smart saver as well but also spend my money wisely by treating myself well✊🏾💵👠🕶
After watching one of Chloe's videos, I just want to go smoke a cigarette. They are just so dang gone satisfying.
Nadia Rey 🤣🤣🤣 right!
Nadia Rey while indulging on a bomb ass glass of wine 🍷
Fr fr 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Her voice is very soothing like an auntie's voice
I get women mad at me and have attitudes towards me.
When l tell them l haven’t worked in 12 years. What they don’t know is. l have Checks coming in. My husband pays ALL the bills. He will not let me pay bills and when we go out to eat etc.......
Let me tell you my story !!! I went on a date with a financialy wealthy man he told me I could choose any place I wanted i was so infatuated and chose the most expensive restaurant he was like ok Happy to just be able to see me and I was thinking oh seems like man really can provide and isn't cheap so the date went well he impressed me he was very smart now we are together likes to buy me whatever I want but sometimes says we should live modestly and that he's a very cheap man so I have to remind him that that is a lie and put him in his place when he tries that sht on me he is still very obsessed with me and he probably is cheap but I make sure he isn't with me because he's wealthy
Great story, thanks for sharing!
Facts! These men will keep trying you but don't give in!
ComplexElegance right I don’t love him anyways he was just a fun little thing on the side lol
When u showed stevie j i died lmao
Cause he is a true example of what she's speaking on
Yes especially that she captured that cunning crooked look of his!!!
Not only can she speak, she also expertly picks the right pictures to post.
Bria Lynn 💀💀💀💀💀
Hypergamy is my new religion and you are my pastor! Outstanding video. I love the correlation between narcissism and stinginess. It makes perfect sense.
The narcissism and cheapness comment rings so true. Recently reconnected with a well off (formerly cheap, selfish) ex who wanted to take me to dinner after 4 years and all the behaviors that caused me to leave the first time were clearly still there. Dinner and drinks lasted hours while he tried to cover every topic imaginable while he drank water at the bar after purchasing one cocktail for each of us...finally, after a couple hours, I decided to get a second drink to get me through all the nodding and I had to pull out my card to pay for it. Take your wallet and your Mercedes and go back to where you've been wallowing for the past 4 years..I've got my own. No thx.
"People who withhold are generally people that give with string attached"
Yes ma'am!!!
Ladies, this is VERY VERY VERY true!!!!!!!!
You don't give your snatch with no strings attached, but you're expecting men to be the sacrificial lambs. Silly goose.
@@hillsideonly the assumptions of this reply is appalling. You’re clearly responding in accordance to the chip on your shoulder. No one should be a sacrificial lamb and anyone who agrees with that is selfish. Also, the silly goose comment is rude.
So true about negotiating. A stingy man will never agree to negotiate with a woman on opening his purse because his entire aim is getting the absolute most for the absolute least.
Had an incident like this with an ex on V-Day. Despite my attempts for a middle ground like not getting roses and opting for a succulent plant, celebrating the day after, and even trying to get him a gift in ‘return’, my Dusty ex fought tooth and nail to not reciprocate. It wasn’t until I did a lot of self work and therapy that I realized what the pit in my stomach felt when I was trying to rationalize what all the ‘at least’s in my mind actually was.
I felt cheap. I felt like a cheap date. And more importantly, it was clear that he wasn’t going out of his way to just be cheap, he was going out of his way to ensure I didn’t feel special. Even when I tried to make him feel special both on this holiday and other occasions like his birthday, he STILL made a point to ensure I wouldn’t feel special when it was my ‘turn’.
And instead of continuing to try and convince such a man to treat me the way I wish to be treated, I started to question what I was with a man who’s so committed to making me feel less than cherished.
I made the mistake of watching this while I was in the gym...dammit!!...I can't even work out......preach Chloe!!
Gurl. You betta get that work out in. lol....
Chloe_ 😂😆😆
Cheap men are just a turn off so please stay away from me because I do not do selfish
U r looking scary BTW😒
And watch out for a dude that calls you baby too soon lol 😂
Li Br
Elaborate, please.
@@lavonnealexander6936 it means that he's gunning for relationship benefits ( possible extra resources pickme's love to give) before being worthy. Early pet names is part of the word salad manipulation tactic to get you to do for him and let your guard down and prematurely bond with him.
@Nasha B Exactly! Crazy fast pet names is such a ignorant dust move! It used to work when I was a young, sheltered teen but I caught on to that ish real quick.🙄 Nowadays they are so bold they'll use it while catcalling 😖🤢. I'm so glad us black women are finally waking up and using their dust repellent! Hypergamy is the true women impowerment movement 🙌
This describes at least 90 percent of the male Jamaican population right now.
Nicole Orridge a lot of them are dating Asian women out here in la.. I really be wanting to ask these non black women do they have any issues with them being stingy with them 🤔
@@DreamyTee123 So it probably is as another commenter stated. It boils down to them seeing the women as being worth being generous to. Asians are more valuable to them possibly. I do know there is rampant colorism among our population. Lighter skinned women are seen as more desirable...Trying to 'raise their color'.
@@orridgenalcurlsncoir9253 Here in Brasil colorism is terrible.
@@nymeria7239 That is when you send them right back. Return policy or no return policy.
Me fi tell you! 99% of the males in my office, and my bf too! Smh
Just like a Louis Vitton store NEVER has a bargain or clearance rack but yet people who can AFFORD to go in there and spend do it every day with no problem because they know they are getting QUALITY GOODS!!! So be a Louis Vittion store, not TJMaxx
So you Men to Overpay for These Dollars General Thots out here? No thanks. 🤣🤣🤣
This is crazy how are many woman dealing with cheap men what does that say about you ok,, ladies charge it to the game if he is cheap its only because he sees no value in you,,,, Nothing more or less
Not the woman but some women. Let's not act like women are conducting themselves with a lot of class these days. If the quality of men is down it might reflect the quality of the women
Rich men are cheap because That's how they got rich...
I broke up with a cheap narrcissist man when I began to notice that whenever we were on casual outtings and I saw a trinket that I wanted ($20 sun hat) he'd always sternly say "you t need that!" Note, I never asked him to buy me anything. Anyway, I took stock of what he actually bought me over 10 months and came up with cheap dinner/lunch & not much else. I realized that he was trying to get me to dull my shine by doing less for myself. He really could not afford to date anyone. I went ghost on him👻 after the hat incident. Regretted not doing it sooner.
@@AB-vb4sv He was otherwise a nice guy, but still a Dusty🌪 also a smart woman prefers good character over mindless large packages🍆
“A woman who is the presence of a man who is tight-fisted will not feel good. And she will not feel safe and secure or protected.” We’d be hard pressed to find a more true statement. 😢
We need a collaboration with Chloe and Shera7. Oh it’s going down 🔥
Yessss
Yasss!!!
Nah, Shera teaches women to lie and manipulate. Chloe is authentic and a force all by herself.
I tried her but she is extreme to the point of blurring the lines when it comes to dignity and respect. Chloe is way more palatable. Unlike the other there is no games, no manipulation. Chloe encourages you to show up in all your feminine glory, make it clear what you expect and know when to walk away all the while maintaining your class and dignity.
Ho yessss🤩
Yes! This is my dad! Stingy and cheap. This is how I was groomed to be a pleaser because if I was good and helpful enough, I could EARN the crumbs he'd give. Usually he said No anyway. I see how my mom turned out - resentful. That was a good lesson too..No more! I am the prize. I deserve to be cared for and adored.
I have had poor men go broke (or broker) trying to impress me
Me t😂😂
Facts! I just commented that even the poorest man will find a way to get money for what/who they want! One man straight up told me he wish he could afford to have a wife like me, he told me to never settle and every man has some type of game they playing with you!
Facts lol. Stinginess is so unnattactive
Yes ma’am. Do you have a background in psychology because you be reading these men for filth lol.
I promise you now that I’ve raised my standards and changed my appetite, the dusties don’t even look my way, instead I’m being greeted by higher quality men. A man that is stingy with time and attention will also be stingy with his wallet. Definite correlation.
In what way did you change you appetite for men? And what are the new standards you raised? I'm not sure where to start. I keep being attached to the looks of certain men and i don't know how to change my appetite so that the looks won't be enough to attract me. Any advice is appreciated sis
L S well it’s not easy. At the root of my “appetite” we’re deeper issues that I worked on. As an attractive woman, I attracted attractive men who weren’t dusties but I wasn’t aware of my value and worth. I stopped dating and resolved the issues in me that allowed for casual sex with no sort of investment or commitment. I went to therapy.. I changed my friend group. I read. I have no social media..(beside RUclips) what I’m attracted to began to change. It’s a process, but if you’re tired of being “used” and or attracting a certain guy, I charge you to do the difficult task of looking at your past and within and get to the root of it so you can have better or deeper love for yourself ❤️🥰 and then recognize the man that loves you at the same or better volume that you love you!
@@Pmatt1 thank you so much for your advice. I have some childhood wounds of not feeling good enough and growing up in a environment as an ethnic minority and being the only non white girl in high school resulted in me getting zero attention from guys growing up as I wasn't their type. Resulted in me thinking I wasn't attractive at all. Yet as a woman now I know I am. Sometimes i feel the kid in me still believes that
Allergic to 50/50, non generous or leeching dusty bum who has all the excuses in the world as to why he can’t or won’t break that bread 🍞💵
Ciaobella Amour why should he? Are you incapable of shouldering your half? Men do not want to be used so they ask..,simple.
@@AB-vb4svthey should pick up the slack on housework and childcare pronto. Women don't want to be used either
I agree, my 2 male coworkers came to me and said “it costs money to keep women, aint that right hent?” . They know that women like me require money to maintain and to keep happy lol
Hillard Liggins
Dusty broke ass 😂✨
My father and my ex was dusty and cheap af
Yes my father is a total dusty sometimes I side eye and resent my mom for even choosing him as my dad. I had to suffer with a dusty as father. 🤦🏾♀️
Same, but I think we both learned a lot from that, seeing how cheap men work, how they think and knowing how to recognise them early on is a great advantage to have. It helped me tremendously moving forward and in well over 3 years I have not dated a single cheap man at all 😂
Amber Brooklyn my father was soo damn cheap and dusty he hated spending money on me it was very rare that he would by me anything my aunts and cousins had to give me clothes. He had a well paying job, so he had no excuse he just didn’t like spending money. He was so cheap whenever he had women, he never took them out on dates but they had to come over his house if they wanted to visit him because it was cheaper that way smh. And then he was married twice and was abusive and stayed unemployed in both marriages while the women went to work and paid the bills. Women liked him just because he looked good. I hate that bitch ass nigga 😡that piece a shit....
Angelina Kecojevic that’s good girl. I learned my lesson too; don’t fuck with broke men, and don’t build a man. I was sooo stupid I did both. I didn’t know any better smh. But my ex was an all around dusty. Cheap, broke, selfish, a liar, a user, manipulative. I did so much for him and got nothing back in return. I get so angry with myself sometimes when I think about it. He was using me the whole time 🤦🏽♀️. But it’s a lesson learned.
@@AmberBrooklyn24 i am so sorry amber, my late fada was a master provider, put us thru school&spoiled us. Lolly 4rm south africa
That’s true! I used to be cheap with myself (skin care/make up clothing/healthy foods) and I attracted Netflix and chill boys or boys who just wanted to take me on a coffee date or 50/50 boys! Now I’ve changed a lot! I’ve spent a lot of stuff on me! Taking care of myself in every ways! Never attracted those kind of guys ever! They don’t even try to approach me anymore!
Chloe
I am 19 and i am just happy i associated with high class people, but while dating i realized i wasn't being treated the way it was supposed to be, i was crying almost every night because of the mistreated. Now i wanna be better , i wanna say thank you.....i have increased my value as i have grown
You are welcome!
Lmaooooo Where did you find a picture of that man holding his money like that
Lmfao!
I was thinking the same thing!😂
"Stinginesss and narcissism go hand to hand" BRILLIANT. Women problem is that we dont listen to each other, men do. A bad man can influence a god man to be cheap with his woman,but a wise sister like you cannot convince another one. Sisters LISTEN!!!!
I just say goodbye to a man who repeatedly call me "gold digger" because i never offered to pay and we hang out a very few times. I told him I was used to men who spoiled me and he told me he that one time he invited a girl to dinner, the bill was about 250 euro and he decided to escape from the restaurant through the restroom's bathroom leaving the lady alone. I blocked him everywhere almost in shock
My father ALLLLLLLLLLLL DAY! I HAVE NEVER SEEN MY OWN FATHER INVEST IN THE WOMEN IN THE HOUSE INCLUDING MYSELF! Only paid bills. I am determined to work opposite to everything I grew up knowing and now to break those habits by investing in myself and my own femininity. Thank you Chloe ❤️
Your channel is better than Sheraseven1. Straight to the point, sharp and clear presentation.
Lilly Rose agreed
I like them both
@@nkreseknowledge2241 I didn't kick shera down
They’re both awesome in their own way. Women need to stick together not put each other down. It’s distasteful
@@nkreseknowledge2241 I can't stand when ppl do that...smh....all that isn't even necessary...i like them both💞
Great video!! Great topic! It is a frequency for sure..hanging out with cheap women is hard too! I'm a great tipper and enjoy fine places! but there is another side! i must say I get called cheap by friends when I am on a budget month or clean eating month with a financial goal or health goal. some friends like to go out eating/drinking every night of the week ! I hate it when an undiciplined friend considers me cheap during a time period where I'm just being disciplined! we've got to find the balance in it all so much nuance to these topics--- those convos that praise the woman for helping him are so manipulitive! Love your channel!
The images of these stingy men🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
I really NEEDED this video in college. I’m subbing my daughter to this channel in high school so she arms herself early when dealing with dating when she’s older. The videos are so full of wisdom in small, digestible packages. Anyone can benefit from that format.
Chloe, you are beating me with your words to wake up. Thanks. My ex told me everything he thought I wanted to hear. I was so foolish to fall for him. He never loved me, he loved how I treated him. One day I asked him for a down payment for a car and that's the last I heard from him. Lol its funny but sometimes I just feel ashamed of myself.
dimple don't b ashamed anymore just use those lessons as stepping stones to now achieving ur worth
@@rokanaakbanaduak6395 Thanks. Sometimes is just so hard when you look back and realise that you were never loved only used and discarded.
@@dimple4300 Now fly free an b the queen u r.. Take ur power back 😘
@@rokanaakbanaduak6395 I will. Thank you.
Chile! A guy approached me on the train and was telling me about how he was dating a girl who wanted him to pay to get her hair done. He then asked me is I did my own hair and I told him I did. He was then like oh, you’re pretty, lol! I guess he needed to see if I would be a woman who’d ask for money lol!
Eye opening...how l treat myself becomes the standard...we must always expect and except only the best...then its not even a question, when a (un-giving) individual is present.
Notification gang!!! It’s like Christmas 🎄
many men w money r stingy too. M cousin dated a lawyer who had the audacity to ask her to make and pack sandwiches and sneak them into the movies
wow.
Thx Chloe 👍🏾..I dated some cheap men in the past and dropped them like hot cakes... I hate men who are tight .I know my worth ..... .Listening from....Uk..London 🌷⚘
I respect that but it depends on where he is cheap and if he has goal in mind. I know this is an extreme example but Warren Buffet one of top riches people in world is very cheap. He brought a home 31,000 in 50s still lives there, now worth about million. In order for men and women to get where they are want to financially you make sacrifices.
What is your worth. Just because you are you a man should want to take care of you. What are you providing besides sex for that man to want to take care of you. Does the man have the means to take care of you? Are expecting more from the man than your willing tho give? That's selfish too
Signs your dating a cheapskate ...😲
1 Pays for your date with a coupon
2 Always forgets his wallet when your out on a date …
3 Prefers to Stay home and watch Netflix
4 His dream date is a walk around the park
5 He always expects you to pay half the bill 50/50 syndrome ..
6 ATM Syndrome....
Men always say “You look like you like money” or try to size me up for how much they need to spend and they are DAMN right. You better come correct.
My BIGGEST turn off when it comes to men is when they’re cheap! If he’s cheap or stingy, it’s automatically not gonna work out cuz I’m too high maintenance for that 🙅🏽♀️
Gina Lienn 😂😂. He probably sees that, doesn’t wanna be used, and dips.
Ladies, here’s a tip to check a mans temperature and pull any masks off sooner than later.....met a guy on Hinge - dated for 2 weeks he seemed “perfect” lol sent him Chloe video about “why men can’t have it both ways” omg - whole table turned ...narcissist revealed. He said “this is horrible. We’re due for a chat around this” had the nerve to ask me what did I bring to the table...considering the things that he has done for me “dinner dates, hanging out etc” we started going back and forth almost felt like a argument and I’m like hold the phone - this is what your future will be like with this man 💭 I was like oh hell no, Chloe taught me those are red flag words......I’’m out. Haven’t talked to him since!
Wow. That didn't take long. LOL. Great testimony.
Don't let men know where you are getting your coaching from. Be silent, observant, and stealthy.
LinLin right, that whole experience was a total lesson. I was fresh in the game then lol I know now to keep my strategy to myself 🤐🤞🏽
Now I have learned in general that being on dating apps in general powers your value because men assume u are in their for sex and may be treating u like meat . It’s best to cAtch someone in person 🎣
@@apbxny216all your secrets are out in the open though.
This seems like a response to my letter to Chloe yesterday... recently met a man of means who seems frugal to a fault. Constantly complaining about his finances and how much he has to budget and incessantly mentioning the previous month's expenses and how he needs to wait until the date (that number is etched in my mind now 🤣) of his credit card statement to do more big spending. He has done so well for himself and yet one of his biggest fears is still being broke. He takes risks and invests big but he is so cheap at his lovely home. Now we have a mini road trip coming up and the quick budget he put out there had my head rolling... now I've been to the place we're going and I know what it will take and he mentioned a budget of roughly 1/3 of that. I don't even feel like going anymore. Not to mention I already have an earful about all the expenses he has coming up for this month... I need an out. My first sort of leveling up relationship but he is still a dusty. Oh we went on a lunch date once and the man ordered one drink (because I insisted) and then had the rest of mine when I was done. RUN! Honestly, I think I gave of stingy/frugal vibes.... it stings but it's true. But this was a test run... #ONTOTHENEXT!
Khaddy B girl id just let him know he doesn’t seem ready and capable of a relationship with you and wish him good luck.
Imma do that. Cuz I have no more time to give to dusty men. At least with a broke one you know what you're getting... I think stingy men of means are worse. Bye to both types.
Khaddy B
How much does the road trip cost?
@@stayingdisciplined1456 Really doesn't matter much, honestly. I happen to know it shouldn't put a dent in his bank account. And if it will then he is obviously not ready to be a provider for a family.
Addition to the first post, it's only been 6 weeks. I have everything of my own. Take care of my fairly new SUV, my home, have a profession... not just a job. I afford myself some of the finer experiences in life as well. And I grew up seeing a mother stressed out paying it all with a dad still around and doing "when he can".... plus I've had the tendency to be so uncomfortable and embarrassed about money I would flip my cash or my platinum credit card out just to avoid any uncomfortable situations on dates or even out with friends. But no more.... he would eventually see a good partner in me but I'm already scared off by his mindset which is 50-50, and not provider-protector, while he flaunts wads of cash around the place and talks about all the money he has, all the investments he has ... he has a lack mentality and is trying to hold on to what he has with dear life. Next story.... we went to a movie and at intermission, dude doesn't even offer water. I was fasting but to simply prove a point I asked what he needed and he didn't hesitate to list it out. Needless to say I got my water and everything else he needed and handed it to him on a tray. For said road trip coming up he already searched the menu for the place we want to go to with the prices on Instagram and sent it to me.... dunno if he wants me to choose now so he can budget or if he wants me to be aware of it so I can be prepared to pay my own way.... I have not addressed it. #RUN
A man with Generosity of Spirit is never in poverty. If a man is a poor tipper, walks past homeless instead of acknowledging them, asks for change back from charitable giving. RUN!!!
Thank goodness my sister introduced me to your channel. I could have easily been the 50/50 girl and fallen into the dusty trap but your channel has taught me a looooot...That I literally knew nothing about before! Its because of you that I've chosen to bask in and embrace my femininity! Thanks a lot @Chloe_! ❤❤❤
Always grateful for your brutal honesty. It hurts to identify with with having a “pick me” spirit, but I also know that you can’t change what you don’t acknowledge.
Ayyyeeeee my last name ain't Worthy for no reason 😉
Lol tell em sis! 💯
I do not do cheap. Cheap dates, cheap ways equal a cheap life; These same fools invest the least and expect a Gabby Union, Halle Berry or J.Lo look alike with porn star sex and all this king treatment. Not even worth the time and attention I tell you.
Girl, these images. 😂
You see how the white couple tugging the money bag😂😂😂😂
the black guy withholding the money🤣🤣🤣
Cheap women end up with cheap men!! Why would someone want to spend money on you if you don’t want to spend money 💰on yourself. Even if you have beer 🍺 money you should have a champagne 🥂 taste.
I feel like men should give their women and allowance. My dad and my dads friend both give their women allowances even though my dads friend wife works and my mom doesn’t have to work. They give them allowance just so they can take care of themselves and keep their own money in their pockets. 🙂
An allowance? Like a child? 😂😂😂😂
@@davidgi3considering the woman is doing 100% of the housework and childcare, an allowance is fair
@@thefeminineeyeyou have issues 🫣🫣🫣
@@thefeminineeye that’s ridiculous
The stingy man pic took me out every time he came across the screen lol 😂😂😂. A stingy man will take, take, take and not give back.
This is sadly seen on the very first date. In my case our first date was subway, and a walk in a local park. 8 years later he expects our children to only wear thrifted clothes, and he never ever drives near a mall or a movie theatre to avoid our children to ask to go. Also when my dad pays for the meal after he “forgets” his wallet, my husband is the one who eats the most at the table.
Embarrassing
Ewww
Your videos have me thinking on a whole different level! Can you please do a video on the top standards/boundaries that every hypergamous woman should follow? That would be amazing!! Keep doing what your doing!
Ive had men who don't want to spend 10$ on my meal but thinks he can get sex
This is my favorite video! A man ain’t even allowed to say hello to me at the store unless he pays for everything I put on the counter💯 trying to talk to me after Watching me pay for my own items screams cheap.
In the words of city girls; “Where the bag at?” 🤣🤣
"Word salad"....Needed to be reminded about this.... Thank you Chloe ❣️
There are some things that were missed when I was a child. I am glad to hear this. I have friend from high school who exhibited girly behavior as far as clothing, make up but the conditioming of the mind is real. I'm glad she has came along and showed at age 15 this was ok. Although, I did not get it all the way, I get it now.
Yes Men are stingy can be rich or low income- and its can be very narcissism because you are their to please him- he dont give a damn about taking care of you. Also many men are insecure to the point that they dont do anything for you- so just incase you leave he has never given anything its doesnt have a lost
This guy always talked about his money, property etc....Now on our ONLY date... the waiter brought the bill which was like $80 and this dusty sat there looking at me saying I don't have enough $$$😐 he never even fought me for the bill. I took out a $40 and got up. He rushed put $60 and gave me a 20 back. I should've Ubered home but i told him i need to go home and cut the short date. Ignored his calls and texts for weeks and finally told him he made me feel uncomfortable and can't go out with him again. he's still begging me for another date saying it was a Meet up and he was not sure of my standards!!!! Ummm BYE DUSTY🖐🏽
Yaya B He tested your standards thinking he’d have a second chance if he got it wrong. Good for you on paying HIM dust.
Good for you girl. You made the right move.
She didn't necessarily played it well!! Fact he tried it an saw her standards n asked for a second chance can also mean he tried her n saw n really is interested in her.. Don't forget ladies that guys will try u too cause each is "trying to see" u have to know both sides to play the perfect game.. She wouldn't lose much having a second date n b sure but could of gained a lot..
This is WELL NEEDED! Thank you
My soon to be ex husband is cheap asf. Im very generous. I think its my generosity that made him more cheap. Me constantly giving him gifts or buying stuff i know he needs without him asking made him cheap with me because he knows ill just get it for myself if i feel the need to ask more than once or i just dont want to waste my time.
Chloe I love your channel! You have been a great resource for me at the age of 31. I'm so mad I am just now learning everything you have taught me.
A lot of Haitain women want to take care men. They don’t get this concept
You are absolutely right with everything you said. I guess you have to change yourself as a Woman first to attract better.