@@georgewagner7787 Yes, from that point of view things are not so clear legally. I was really making the point that it can work, for people who aren't religious and don't get married.
As he should be. In fact, he should have both feet out the door. It’s not worth it to be in a relationship where arguing is a everyday thing. That has to be draining.
There isn’t a magic formula by having the title of marriage when you live together. If you live together in a way that’s committed together having the formality attached or not isn’t the deal breaker. I loved with my wife for a couple years before we took the step to get married and it didn’t change things but we had the all in approach. And realistically it’s a nice thing to live together for a minute before you take that step because you don’t truly know someone until you life with them. The difference that marriage increases these things is that marriage confirms that it’s the all in commitment whereas if you’re not married it depends. This dude is clearly not truly locked in and that’s on him more than marriage or no marriage.
This guys example of leaving his crap on the floor is the problem, nothing to do with how two people picture their lives, she wants to live clean and he doesn't care. Let's just cut to the chase... be a bachelor until you're ready to share a space with someone, end of..
Believe me that's a big thing when people are dirty and another person isn't I cannot stand to live in the house with my boyfriend and his kids is impossible life has been hell no one can clean up after themselves until they're told by their dad and he'd rather be their friend.
Be a bachelorette until you’re not willing to be hyper controlling and hyper irritated by minutiae. Some of these women out here think that they can go their whole lives interrupting a guys day and peace about something so trivial as clothes being left out for an hour or a small addition to a bill. We have a world that has so many problems and whatever or whereever the neuroticism comes from needs to at least be partially curbed before entering a marriage.
I'm a 65 year old woman and very old school. But I can tell the younger generations this: living together without being married and 5-6 year engagements just don't work. Older folks met and married sometimes after only knowing each other a few months! Their weddings were simple and inexpensive. And they stayed married for life. I'm not saying this is quarantined to work. Not at all. But like John said, it's a choice you make. And it's a choice you stick with. Good luck to all of you young men and women out there. Don't make it harder than it needs to be.
Older folks like...people in the 1910's? Boomers had some pretty high divorce rates, so unless you are talking about the Greatest Generation or older, I'm not sure this is as strong a point as you imagine (and even then it's not).
I would never go into a financial situation as heavy as purchasing a house with a man who is not my husband. But the woman has to accept some responsibility for her situation. A woman can not be in a relationship with man for 6 years without an idea on where her life is going - is marriage and/or children the goal? What is this? John is right. Their relationships is not anchored in. They're literally "playing" house.
@@starrjohnson1327 I think their relationship has run its course. Buying a house was not going to fix or solidify what they thought they were going to have. If anything, that house is probably adding more stress on their relationship, especially if she's expecting marriage at some point soon and he's practically clawing his way out. I don't think the guy ever said, "who actually bought the house." Was the purchase a 50/50 split? Or did he purchase it or put more into the house than she did? Their separation could get ugly.
Marriage means more to some people than others; not everyone dreams of a wedding ceremony, and not everyone's feels religious obligation compel them to marry first (if at all). My mother bought a house with her partner after 8 years (the 3 of us moved in & my sister was born years later); they're still together 25 years later but engaged, as they were when they bought the house; neither party feels compelled to marry (whether obligation or validation). To move in and share commitments first is not that unique: I know family friends who're now married, but moved in with each other beforehand (they're also still together 15+ years later). I met a lovely couple the other day who are getting married next month; they live nearby and bought a house together a few years back. Many can judge the long-term stability and health of a relationship well enough without marriage, and a relationship can sour or totally collapse whether couples are married or not (it's far from a guarantee) -- this is where the caller has failed. On-off relationships aren't good foundations for a move like home purchase.
@@96s40 Even though I don't know the girlfriend in this piece, but I feel in my spirit that she wants marriage. And I honestly feel that is contributing to a lot of this. John all but eluded to such. The boomer generation, even GenXers are much different than millennial and GenZs. I no longer compare how things were with my parents because things are just way different now.
@@96s40so your mother has used this guy to take care of you and a sibling, had an anchor baby and he still won’t marry her. She’s playing with fire. If something happens to him, she’s sol. She won’t get any widow resources. She won’t be entitled to his social security or retirement money. She has played him for 25 years. He’s a simp. And she’s a terrible example of what a woman should do.
I was 22 and my husband was 25 when we got married- we celebrate 12 years this year. He’s not too young to get married, he’s just irresponsible and doesn’t want to commit himself to one woman. Stop waisting her time!
@@Up_NortA happy & healthy home is the reward. The statistics very clearly state that married men live longer, are wealthier & are cognitively smarter as well. The studies are & have been out that there is a large advantage in life when married. So…
@@OopThereItIs77777 Married Men don't live longer, when you count the statistics of unmarried it includes infant mortality and people who die very young which lowers the average, historically monks and catholic priests lived the longest while people died on average at 45, they were living into their 80s and 90s
@@frenchmime1972 We did a study in 202 specifically over gender’s longevity; those married, unmarried, widowed & singletons for life. You’re in fact very wrong. The data proved they had healthier heart & full body health entirely, better finances & a more solid mental state. Thank you, I paid 62k for this degree & everything I learned. That was one of my favorite weeks of study
People who have broken up so many times and fight all the time don’t really want to be together, they just keep ending up together because they don’t want to be alone. They think they can’t do any better and they settle.
Really sounds INTENTIONAL, he wants to start an argument so he presses her trigger points. He's a 28 YO man-child. Parents did a terrible job raising him, GF is expected to be his unpaid maid for life???
It’s just as easy for wife to see that husband is tired and wants to be relaxed at home after long day at work so what’s the extra effort on her part to bend down and throw the clothes in hamper for him? No naggy wife, house tidy, problem solved
@@jerusalem4492 He has to do it if messed up, she is not his maid, most of men has this habit throwing staff not cleaning the dishes, later too much work to finished 🙄
@@jerusalem4492 It's just as easy to see that wife is tired and wants to be relaxed at home after a long day at work. So what's the extra effort on HIS part to bend down and throw the clothes in the hamper himself? No naggy wife, house tidy, problem solved! Or better yet - throw them in the hamper when he takes them off, instead of dumping them on the floor...
I’m glad you said it. A lot of couple married and not married aren’t meant to be together because they aren’t compatible, which is one of the most important factors. If you don’t truly want the same things separate. Stop being scared to be alone. Most importantly choose wisely!!!
I will tell you EXACTLY WHAT the problem is... As a woman I know this: you have strung this poor girl along for 6 years. She is frustrated and HURT!!! She loves you, she really does, otherwise she would not be investing her money, her time and her home with you for the past 6 long years. You should be kind to her and either marry her or break it off because until you do, these little BS fights are going to get worse because her level of hurt and frustration will increase. And there will be no peace for either of you because you are not giving her what she really needs and that is to be made an honest woman. Believe it or not, women really want that. Edited it add: A woman waiting 6 years for her man to marry her is like 6 dog years. Please trust me on this.
I'm a guy - I tend to agree with you. However, one slightly alternate thought: will marrying her really solve the problem? What I mean by this is - is that enough? Is the girlfriend one of those people that no matter what you do, you can't please her? If she wanted x, then you do it, now it's not good enough and she wants y. You do that, and it's suddenly not good enough and she wants z. Like I said, I agree with you, that after 6 years, if he can't decide whether he wants to marry her...and after 6 years, if she can't tell him that she wants to marry him, then they need to get away from each other. After 6 years, what's holding you back? What more could you possibly want to know about each other that you don't already, that would help you decide yes or no? But, if he says yes, let's get married, will that be enough? Or will that be a temporary fix? I don't know. Anyways marier245, have a great day.
@@joejoe-bs6jq I agree with you too. Not sure if at this point marrying her would be enough. It's difficult to know that with anybody. That said, women need commitment, it's literally in our DNA. Women need security, every day this girl doesn't know if one day he's going to just pack up and leave and want to sell the house. That produces a lot of anxiety, even at a subconscious level. Yes, there are many many women who have professional careers and they don't necessarily have to worry about the financial side of a man leaving them whom they bought a house with but then there's the emotional side of it. Women are very emotional creatures, we really can't help it. In addition, time is not a friend to women. If a woman wants to have children, we have a time limit. And one other thing to consider, women talk to each other about each other, not always the nicest thing to do but we do it. All of her friends and family are all probably wondering when they're going to finally get married. That's embarrassing for any women in this situation (every day it's, what's wrong with me). At this point the relationship might not be able to recover from such a long period of time between dating (playing house) and actual marriage. I'm not sure if there's already too much resentment there. My suggestion would be for them to sit separately with a big pad and pen and write down their expectations, their hurts, their annoyances, and if there are any resentments... As well as writing down what they love about the other person, what they appreciate about them and what any long-term goals they have.
You're assuming that the bottom line is she wants marriage and commitment and that's a solution, ( it may not be) and not the problems, arguments and personality differences.
I think the real differences could be behaviors, expectations about how one should act in a relationship and personality differences. Also. Issues from the family of origin can be huge. Don't jump into marriage without some counseling, either individual or couple.
For me it sounds like he’s out, but scared of the loneliness, and the unknown to get out. Just trying to persuade himself that the wants to stay and he sees the best, despite something telling him to leave. I’d just leave, so you can both find better partners
Do you regret leaving? I had a similar relationship come to an end recently and the weight off my shoulders felt great. Was I upset? Sure, but I feel much better now
@@hurt1704 I don't regret leaving, I think it needed to happen, that's just the direction that life has taken me. So ill embrace it for now, no sense in worrying about what could have been if we didn't fight. Because we did and it happened already..
It’s not about him wanting a maid. It’s about her not making such a big deal out of things constantly that, when strip it down and look at what they’re really about, aren’t worth the fight
Living together is such a bad cultural habit mainstream society has developed. Instead of dating and discerning whether you want to spend your lives together you just take the easy route and move in together. So there’s no ride or die commitment and you never figure out if you’re truly meant to be together because part of what holds you together now is that it’s too inconvenient to break up.
It’s about courtesy and respect. Never throwing towels or clothes on the floor will show a serious amount of respect for your partner! Many times when people do leave towels and clothes on the floor it’s a way of communicating to your partner “I know you’ll pick it up for my later so I don’t care” which drives women, in general, totally nuts. We want partners, not people to clean up after. This may work the other way sometimes too. Be courteous, people :)
No, you’re assuming that’s what the partner thinks. It doesn’t automatically mean she will pick it up. Maybe he had a hard day at work. Maybe she should ask him about it. Maybe she should appreciate how hard he works. If a pair of underwear is your breaking point you’re extremely weak, it’s unfair and you should NOT get married. There are fa more important things to deal with in life.
This guy doesn’t want to marry this woman. When John asked him he could not answer straight. He knows she’s not the one. Imo they probably bought the house to try to “fix” the relationship and postpone the pressure he’s feeling to pop the question. It reminds me of how there’s people who have a baby in hopes of fixing their broken relationship. It doesn’t….it just yields heartbreaking results. He needs to end this now before both of them get hurt even more by prolonging things.
@@aprilfox9205 the sad thing is I’m speaking from seeing this exact thing happen. My own sister was with her now ex for almost 10 years. It was a very toxic relationship that should of ended way before. She finally purposefully got pregnant out of desperation to keep him, and also to try to get him to finally marry her. He never did, and the relationship then dragged on longer with a child involved as well. They ended up splitting. It was messy and very traumatizing for my nephew. It has been horrible for all involved. So I know it’s different, but that’s what it reminded me of. 😞
It could be that he doesn't really want to marry her, but it could also be that he would want to but is crippled by the pain and loneliness caused by the conflicts and fights in the relationship. Some people are scared to commit - they could be afraid that if they do, it would get even worse and they would get stuck in the misery. Not a great way to go about it, but there are people like this.
I just started dating this girl and she wants to fight with me every time I don’t come over to her house. She wants me there every single night. I have 2 dogs that she doesn’t want at her house so they have to stay home. Anything will set her off. I told her this morning that I don’t want to see her anymore.
jesus...these men think that they can live as a college kid for the rest of their lives. if you cant pick up your clothes you need to get a grip... you are not a child and she isnot your maid
And these men need to figure out that going out without their girlfriend and flirt with others and entertain the attention of another girl “friend” and expect her to accept it without thinking of that female friend as a threat of her relationship is going to cause issues. It is not grammar school anymore where having friends of the opposite sex is acceptable. It’s no longer because of the high risk of the threat of infidelity and emotional intimacy with someone other than your spouse or girlfriend so as an adult friends of the opposite sex without the inclusion of the spouse or girlfriend is wrong and leads to distrust and/or crossing lines whether intentional by one or the other or both of those involved or not and can often times lead to accidents. A lot of times a man may feel like he’s being a good friend to a single woman by being there for her where she feels safe and confides in him her struggles to which if he responds and tries to carry part of that burden by someone else instead of the person they are in a relationship with causes wedges between them and that spouse or girlfriend. That person needs to find someone else to give intimate details of their life to and/or go to counseling. Using a man who’s in a relationship and trying to bond with them when they are already bonded to someone else is not healthy.. yet adult men think they can be “just friends” with the opposite sex but it’s wrong and will destroy a good relationship.
I don’t like men that are slobs. I also don’t like being harassed over $50 either. If he can’t throw clothes in a hamper he shouldn’t be with someone. That comment about being a guy is why he left his clothes on the ground is immature! Is it a fight or does he just not like real communication? She can be a nag, but we don’t know that 100%. I do know I like being able to communicate without being accused of fighting.
I’m with you, Gabriela. My husband thinks we’re fighting, I think we’re communicating. It’s often just a misunderstanding, but it’s hard when he doesn’t like having difficult conversations. They don’t even happen that often, maybe once in a blue moon but afterwards he stays upset… sometimes for days at a time.
He wants to be a 20yo boy, responsibility free forever… He’s got a LOT of maturing to do for any relationship to work because no woman will satisfy his childish desires…
@@WillIam79-c7f I wouldn't be satisfied either if my SO treated me like an unpaid maid and didn't stick to our household budget even though he praises Ramsey Solutions. The plan only works if you work the plan.
THANK YOU DELONY for being so transparent and honest. I can relate and helped me realize what was truly missing in my own experience. The fights came from not feeling like it was all in despite moving across country together and living together. Of course it manifested through trivial fights and things that had nothing to do with anything. Im hopeful for this couple if he makes that choice. He sounds like he loves her. Life is hard but these are choices we have to make.
Appreciated the discussion about the girlfriend. Used parts of it in my discussion with husband of 28 years. We have been having intermittent arguments lately, his version is we should not have any need for communication about our marriage.
Playing marriage is never easy and is a breeding ground for bad decisions. If you're willing to buy a house with someone, you should be married. Same with having a kid or buying anything together
@@jeromehenry4484 you don’t have children, do you? you can get away from any contract, children bind you forever! if you want it or not, with other partners or not
As a Canadian I just want to let people know that you are considered common-law after six months of living together. So the house is half and half. But it’s early in the mortgage so probably not much equity there.
If his idea of a “big fight,” is not cleaning up his dirty laundry, then they are doomed. It’s so easy to take off clothes and immediately put them in a basket. If he’s not trying to do even these simple things, then he’s not truly committed to this relationship.
I was irritated with this dude in the first minute. He just wants permission to leave. Dude. Leave. It's much more kind to break up with her now than to string her along until she's too old to have kids, which is not very far away. Go. Get out. You say you love her, but you don't or else you don't love her enough.
He is looking for an out. I’m sure they have had these convos before. He’s had to after 6 years. He got with her at just 22 years old. Or maybe she is picking fights to get him to break up with her?
Oh my goodness, caller. You've been in and out and up and down with this relationship for six years. If this is what gives you quality of life, then stay in it. If you desire something more, get out. Jay-sus. Its not that complicated.
Throwing your dirty clothes where ever they land, and expecting her to pick them up - shows a definite lack of respect. Dr John's "behaviour is a language". She is neither your maid nor your mommy (nor should maids nor mommies be treated with such disrespect either!). But if he wants to kill off the passion in the bedroom, then sure, toss those clothes around...
Sounds like he wants to play house with his mom and is pissed off she’s not having it. Be a man, commit, organize the bills and pick up your damn clothes! Good god. So petty.
If having clothes on the floor isn't that big of deal, then its not that big of deal to take the 2 seconds to put them in the hamper instead of the floor. The gf expressed how this made her feel and instead of respecting her and doing that for her, he's choosing to start a fight.
If you've been with someone for 6yrs and you bought a house together why the heck not just marry the person and make it official? So that way, no matter what happens they HAVE to work things through rather than just "breaking up" anytime something bad happens? I married my wife after 6 months because I was 31 and sick of going on dates all the time and moving in with the girl I was dating. if you love the woman, then make it official. I don't understand how people can buy a house together and live together AND then not be married. It's stilly to me.
I think he might be lacking in other duties that contribute to the care, cleanliness, and maintenance of a home. If you live there, you do your part. You do not do things that give your partner more work. I feel she cares a lot more than he does. He is a lot more than “one foot out.”
Security is everything. Feeling valued. There is a deeper issue where she has has felt invaluable. Maybe from childhood. And maybe from one of the times they broke up. What caused the break up? Lying, unfaithfulness. She is wanting to be cherished and valued.
If she's just picking fights with you out of the blue like that, you gotta get the hell away from her, and not just for a while until you start missing her, FOREVER. Screw living like that, you only got one life bro, don't spend it like this, you deserve peace and quiet.
Another Nice Guy trying to win his older girlfriend’s love & approval by being nice & doing what she wants. If he really loved her, they already would have married. Sounds to me like his girl functions as a maternal figure in a way, and he’s trying to please mom. That’s my take, not healthy.
Lord, being single is sooo much easier and more peaceful than this. It’s been six years. Call it. Both of you take time to heal and find someone you’re more compatible with.
Nahhh I’m single now and I am excited for partner. It’s just important to find someone who will respect you enough. They can work it out. People always throw away relationships like it’s nothing.
@TheUnknownMissAusten Everyone needs someone!!! I was single for nearly 35 yrs before I finally broke outta my shell and got my first real GF and let me tell you even though her and i aren't together anymore I am excited about getting into the next one. Sometimes being single is great but it's also nice to have someone.
I hope all the young men out there hear this call. Don't be this guy. Never buy a house with anyone unless you have made the mistake of getting married. Never date and lead a woman on for YEARS like this guy. Always treat women with the respect you desire from her. Be clear on the relationship scope, and be clear on the financial picture but never enter into legal binding contracts with women. If you chose to, you bring in 3rd parties that can dictate the outcome should it not go well (courts, police, family, friends, children). You can be in a loving committed relationship with a woman and never get married, and never own property together. Good luck.
I've never had a single reservation about the man I married. Ever. We are 35 years old, married ten years, together for 16. I don't understand a relationship being as much work as some people make it, it shouldn't be that hard with the right person.
A relationship on and off for 6 years and y'all thought it was a good idea to get a house together. Oof... That's a tough one. I hope they can work out their issues.
This poor caller is getting picked on a lot in these comments. At least he admitted to not always using the hamper. I don't think that alone is worthy of a firing squad. 😅 Nevertheless, sometimes big arguments over small things can cover larger issues. I agree with Dr. John that they need to have a big picture conversation to see if they're on the same page, or if they can become so. I hope it all works out for them.
So many comments are focused on on the clothes on the floor and ignoring the fight over a utility bill that's $50 more than expected. Apparently, he makes good money so that's no more the problem than the clothes are the problem. Some are assuming that she's frustrated because after 6 years together they aren't married. Dr. John is the only one who mentioned marriage. If she wants marriage she blew a great opportunity to expect marriage before they bought a house. Seems like this guy is on the fence. He loves her but the fighting is just too much. He should follow Dr. John's advice and have a talk about what type of home they want. Look for a change in both of them but if after 6 months the fights are still occurring just sell the house & walk away.
John, HE DOESNT WANT TO MARRY HER PERIOD. he would’ve already. He knows he shouldn’t have bought the house. He was hoping John would say to end it. He needs to end it. Or she does. She has allowed 6 years of this. If she wants marriage, she should’ve walked away years ago and found someone on the same page. YES, walk away sir. You’re stressed because you KNOW you don’t want this. Be honest. Don’t waste any more of either of your time. Your gut is telling you to go. That’s why you’re so confused. It should NOT be hard. It should be easy to know. I think you know it but it’s hard to face. Do you want to wake up 10 years from now and wish you hadn’t stayed? WALK. AWAY. I as a woman would not want to hear my man talk like this. John, you’re great but don’t try to talk him into something he obviously doesn’t want. I can tell from here he doesn’t want to marry her. He can love her all he wants but he doesn’t sound like he’s ALL IN whatsoever. Not even close.
This was/is my husband and I. Come to find out by listening to your wife's interview that it is ADHD related. So we are trying to work through this and find different systems.
"Your wife is your partner not your mom. She is not a living maid or a hired cleaning crew, so she shouldn't have to pick up after you," Also … if respect your partner you don’t surprise her with extra 50$ bills … You bought a house with her , take responsibility. He is just not ready for commitment or real responsibility and doesn’t have the honour to admit it. Stop disrespect people and make them confrontational and then blame them … for start fights. How many time another should be told not to make a mess in a cleaned room ( probably cleaned by her ) 😂
Why sign a contract to buy a house with someone you aren't ready to sign a marriage contract with?😏
Some people aren't religious. My partner and I didn't marry, bought a house, had kids, together after 18 years.
@@nicolab2075 you're not going to get his social security
Don't shoot yourself in the foot
@@georgewagner7787 Yes, from that point of view things are not so clear legally. I was really making the point that it can work, for people who aren't religious and don't get married.
@@nicolab2075 I never mentioned religion🤔
@@traceejohnson290 Ño, but I can see why someone who was religious would prefer to marry, that's all I meant.
This guy is the definition of “one foot in, one foot out”.
Buying a house together is just weird to me,
As he should be. In fact, he should have both feet out the door. It’s not worth it to be in a relationship where arguing is a everyday thing. That has to be draining.
@@oncetwice5942 but why does he keep coming back to it, and why would he buy a house? Why hasn’t he walked away and stayed away?
@@l-train7876 Maybe because his heart is still with her. He know in his mind he should leave tho.
Spot on
Listens to Dave Ramsey - buys house with someone they aren't married to.
my first thought…not like he opened a credit card. he most likely took out a six figure mortgage with someone who he’s not legally associated with😵
Dumb
Wife and I have been married 34 years. We didn't live together before marriage. Catholic.
@@lot2196that’s long ago. I hear men want to go to the bed after the 3rd date but I prefer to wait 6 months
He failed the class miserably.
He’s not ready…she needs to leave.
Perfect example of how living together does not mimic marriage.
There isn’t a magic formula by having the title of marriage when you live together. If you live together in a way that’s committed together having the formality attached or not isn’t the deal breaker. I loved with my wife for a couple years before we took the step to get married and it didn’t change things but we had the all in approach. And realistically it’s a nice thing to live together for a minute before you take that step because you don’t truly know someone until you life with them. The difference that marriage increases these things is that marriage confirms that it’s the all in commitment whereas if you’re not married it depends. This dude is clearly not truly locked in and that’s on him more than marriage or no marriage.
This guys example of leaving his crap on the floor is the problem, nothing to do with how two people picture their lives, she wants to live clean and he doesn't care.
Let's just cut to the chase...
be a bachelor until you're ready to share a space with someone, end of..
Believe me that's a big thing when people are dirty and another person isn't I cannot stand to live in the house with my boyfriend and his kids is impossible life has been hell no one can clean up after themselves until they're told by their dad and he'd rather be their friend.
Be a bachelorette until you’re not willing to be hyper controlling and hyper irritated by minutiae. Some of these women out here think that they can go their whole lives interrupting a guys day and peace about something so trivial as clothes being left out for an hour or a small addition to a bill. We have a world that has so many problems and whatever or whereever the neuroticism comes from needs to at least be partially curbed before entering a marriage.
You're just not that into her.
6 years? She's pissed off. Let her go to find someone who *ACTUALLY* wants to be with her.
You didn’t listen.
@@flowersforme375 I did.
I'm a 65 year old woman and very old school. But I can tell the younger generations this: living together without being married and 5-6 year engagements just don't work. Older folks met and married sometimes after only knowing each other a few months! Their weddings were simple and inexpensive. And they stayed married for life. I'm not saying this is quarantined to work. Not at all. But like John said, it's a choice you make. And it's a choice you stick with. Good luck to all of you young men and women out there. Don't make it harder than it needs to be.
Older folks like...people in the 1910's? Boomers had some pretty high divorce rates, so unless you are talking about the Greatest Generation or older, I'm not sure this is as strong a point as you imagine (and even then it's not).
I would never go into a financial situation as heavy as purchasing a house with a man who is not my husband. But the woman has to accept some responsibility for her situation. A woman can not be in a relationship with man for 6 years without an idea on where her life is going - is marriage and/or children the goal? What is this? John is right. Their relationships is not anchored in. They're literally "playing" house.
He knows he needs to let this go. I'm confused about them buying a house. Now they'll have to sell. That's gonna be rough
@@starrjohnson1327 I think their relationship has run its course. Buying a house was not going to fix or solidify what they thought they were going to have. If anything, that house is probably adding more stress on their relationship, especially if she's expecting marriage at some point soon and he's practically clawing his way out. I don't think the guy ever said, "who actually bought the house." Was the purchase a 50/50 split? Or did he purchase it or put more into the house than she did? Their separation could get ugly.
Marriage means more to some people than others; not everyone dreams of a wedding ceremony, and not everyone's feels religious obligation compel them to marry first (if at all).
My mother bought a house with her partner after 8 years (the 3 of us moved in & my sister was born years later); they're still together 25 years later but engaged, as they were when they bought the house; neither party feels compelled to marry (whether obligation or validation). To move in and share commitments first is not that unique: I know family friends who're now married, but moved in with each other beforehand (they're also still together 15+ years later). I met a lovely couple the other day who are getting married next month; they live nearby and bought a house together a few years back.
Many can judge the long-term stability and health of a relationship well enough without marriage, and a relationship can sour or totally collapse whether couples are married or not (it's far from a guarantee) -- this is where the caller has failed. On-off relationships aren't good foundations for a move like home purchase.
@@96s40 Even though I don't know the girlfriend in this piece, but I feel in my spirit that she wants marriage. And I honestly feel that is contributing to a lot of this. John all but eluded to such. The boomer generation, even GenXers are much different than millennial and GenZs. I no longer compare how things were with my parents because things are just way different now.
@@96s40so your mother has used this guy to take care of you and a sibling, had an anchor baby and he still won’t marry her. She’s playing with fire. If something happens to him, she’s sol. She won’t get any widow resources. She won’t be entitled to his social security or retirement money. She has played him for 25 years. He’s a simp. And she’s a terrible example of what a woman should do.
I was 22 and my husband was 25 when we got married- we celebrate 12 years this year. He’s not too young to get married, he’s just irresponsible and doesn’t want to commit himself to one woman. Stop waisting her time!
All risk no real reward no thanks
@@Up_NortA happy & healthy home is the reward. The statistics very clearly state that married men live longer, are wealthier & are cognitively smarter as well. The studies are & have been out that there is a large advantage in life when married. So…
@@OopThereItIs77777 Married Men don't live longer, when you count the statistics of unmarried it includes infant mortality and people who die very young which lowers the average, historically monks and catholic priests lived the longest while people died on average at 45, they were living into their 80s and 90s
@@frenchmime1972 We did a study in 202 specifically over gender’s longevity; those married, unmarried, widowed & singletons for life. You’re in fact very wrong. The data proved they had healthier heart & full body health entirely, better finances & a more solid mental state. Thank you, I paid 62k for this degree & everything I learned. That was one of my favorite weeks of study
Lol!! She doesn't deserve a man!! Dump her!!!
People who have broken up so many times and fight all the time don’t really want to be together, they just keep ending up together because they don’t want to be alone. They think they can’t do any better and they settle.
Bought a house with a sometimes girlfriend? Smaaaart. Though in her defense, I’d go nuts too with tossing clothes on the floor and leaving them there.
Really sounds INTENTIONAL, he wants to start an argument so he presses her trigger points. He's a 28 YO man-child. Parents did a terrible job raising him, GF is expected to be his unpaid maid for life???
Yea i bet he cant afford a house she older im guessing more money
She doesn’t wanna feel like she has a son and he doesn’t want to feel like he has a mother. The dynamic needs to change.
Break up man. It’s obviously not working.
Or take care of your own garden. The grass is not greener on the other side. Dating is horrible out in the streets.
Okay, but it is literally so easy to just put your clothes in the hamper. If you care at all you can choose to do it and it is easy
exactly lol he is acting like his arm is gonna fall off. stfu
Ain;t about the clothes.
It’s just as easy for wife to see that husband is tired and wants to be relaxed at home after long day at work so what’s the extra effort on her part to bend down and throw the clothes in hamper for him? No naggy wife, house tidy, problem solved
@@jerusalem4492 He has to do it if messed up, she is not his maid, most of men has this habit throwing staff not cleaning the dishes, later too much work to finished 🙄
@@jerusalem4492 It's just as easy to see that wife is tired and wants to be relaxed at home after a long day at work. So what's the extra effort on HIS part to bend down and throw the clothes in the hamper himself? No naggy wife, house tidy, problem solved!
Or better yet - throw them in the hamper when he takes them off, instead of dumping them on the floor...
I think love does not equal compatibility. If your not compatible in time the love just is not enough.
I agree 100%
I’m glad you said it. A lot of couple married and not married aren’t meant to be together because they aren’t compatible, which is one of the most important factors. If you don’t truly want the same things separate. Stop being scared to be alone. Most importantly choose wisely!!!
Interesting point. Can it be the other way around: compatible, yet not love?
I will tell you EXACTLY WHAT the problem is...
As a woman I know this: you have strung this poor girl along for 6 years. She is frustrated and HURT!!!
She loves you, she really does, otherwise she would not be investing her money, her time and her home with you for the past 6 long years.
You should be kind to her and either marry her or break it off because until you do, these little BS fights are going to get worse because her level of hurt and frustration will increase. And there will be no peace for either of you because you are not giving her what she really needs and that is to be made an honest woman. Believe it or not, women really want that.
Edited it add:
A woman waiting 6 years for her man to marry her is like 6 dog years. Please trust me on this.
I'm a guy - I tend to agree with you. However, one slightly alternate thought: will marrying her really solve the problem? What I mean by this is - is that enough? Is the girlfriend one of those people that no matter what you do, you can't please her? If she wanted x, then you do it, now it's not good enough and she wants y. You do that, and it's suddenly not good enough and she wants z. Like I said, I agree with you, that after 6 years, if he can't decide whether he wants to marry her...and after 6 years, if she can't tell him that she wants to marry him, then they need to get away from each other. After 6 years, what's holding you back? What more could you possibly want to know about each other that you don't already, that would help you decide yes or no? But, if he says yes, let's get married, will that be enough? Or will that be a temporary fix? I don't know. Anyways marier245, have a great day.
@@joejoe-bs6jq
I agree with you too. Not sure if at this point marrying her would be enough. It's difficult to know that with anybody.
That said, women need commitment, it's literally in our DNA. Women need security, every day this girl doesn't know if one day he's going to just pack up and leave and want to sell the house. That produces a lot of anxiety, even at a subconscious level.
Yes, there are many many women who have professional careers and they don't necessarily have to worry about the financial side of a man leaving them whom they bought a house with but then there's the emotional side of it.
Women are very emotional creatures, we really can't help it.
In addition, time is not a friend to women. If a woman wants to have children, we have a time limit. And one other thing to consider, women talk to each other about each other, not always the nicest thing to do but we do it. All of her friends and family are all probably wondering when they're going to finally get married. That's embarrassing for any women in this situation (every day it's, what's wrong with me).
At this point the relationship might not be able to recover from such a long period of time between dating (playing house) and actual marriage.
I'm not sure if there's already too much resentment there.
My suggestion would be for them to sit separately with a big pad and pen and write down their expectations, their hurts, their annoyances, and if there are any resentments... As well as writing down what they love about the other person, what they appreciate about them and what any long-term goals they have.
You're assuming that the bottom line is she wants marriage and commitment and that's a solution, ( it may not be) and not the problems, arguments and personality differences.
I think the real differences could be behaviors, expectations about how one should act in a relationship and personality differences. Also. Issues from the family of origin can be huge. Don't jump into marriage without some counseling, either individual or couple.
exactly but I wouldn't allow something to go on for so long without putting a ring on my finger she's waited wayy too long.
For me it sounds like he’s out, but scared of the loneliness, and the unknown to get out. Just trying to persuade himself that the wants to stay and he sees the best, despite something telling him to leave. I’d just leave, so you can both find better partners
In and out of a relationship, fight all the time, MUST BUY A HOUSE TOGETHER.
I went through the same thing, currently 6 months out of the relationship. Im relieved somewhat and also deeply saddened.
Do you regret leaving? I had a similar relationship come to an end recently and the weight off my shoulders felt great. Was I upset? Sure, but I feel much better now
@@hurt1704 I don't regret leaving, I think it needed to happen, that's just the direction that life has taken me. So ill embrace it for now, no sense in worrying about what could have been if we didn't fight. Because we did and it happened already..
It's obvious you're not all in. He fights with her to get out of his responsibility in the relationship.
John Missed the mark with this advice.
She doesn't want to be in a relationship with a child, if he wants a maid, move back home.
It’s not about him wanting a maid. It’s about her not making such a big deal out of things constantly that, when strip it down and look at what they’re really about, aren’t worth the fight
Convinced most people just come on here to get told what to do, thankfully Delony never does that
I think some genuinely need advice from a 3rd party or an expert like John
She should dump him. He's not committed and she's wasting time and energy on him.
He was committed enough to call in for advice. Actually, he should dump her for being a control freak.
@@JustinCase780 he called in because he needs validation to break up with her.
@@l-train7876assume much?
@JustinCase780 he was looking for permission to break up becauae he knows he wants to get out of the seriousness and go "have fun."
Maybe marriage works for me because both my husband and I throw clothes on the floor and pick them back up later 😂
Yes people should marry people with the same values.
I'm a woman i do the same thing lol. See clothes on the floor not going to bug me. Diah pile up dont care i do them 2 times a week anyways lol
Living together is such a bad cultural habit mainstream society has developed. Instead of dating and discerning whether you want to spend your lives together you just take the easy route and move in together. So there’s no ride or die commitment and you never figure out if you’re truly meant to be together because part of what holds you together now is that it’s too inconvenient to break up.
you are right! never again!
It’s about courtesy and respect. Never throwing towels or clothes on the floor will show a serious amount of respect for your partner! Many times when people do leave towels and clothes on the floor it’s a way of communicating to your partner “I know you’ll pick it up for my later so I don’t care” which drives women, in general, totally nuts. We want partners, not people to clean up after. This may work the other way sometimes too. Be courteous, people :)
It’s also about having respect not nagging at every little thing after a full day of work.
No, you’re assuming that’s what the partner thinks. It doesn’t automatically mean she will pick it up. Maybe he had a hard day at work. Maybe she should ask him about it. Maybe she should appreciate how hard he works. If a pair of underwear is your breaking point you’re extremely weak, it’s unfair and you should NOT get married. There are fa more important things to deal with in life.
This guy doesn’t want to marry this woman. When John asked him he could not answer straight. He knows she’s not the one. Imo they probably bought the house to try to “fix” the relationship and postpone the pressure he’s feeling to pop the question. It reminds me of how there’s people who have a baby in hopes of fixing their broken relationship. It doesn’t….it just yields heartbreaking results. He needs to end this now before both of them get hurt even more by prolonging things.
Agreed -- I was thinking the same thing.
This is one of the most intelligent comments I've read on here. If he wanted to marry her he would've proposed already. He's wasting her time.
@@aprilfox9205 the sad thing is I’m speaking from seeing this exact thing happen. My own sister was with her now ex for almost 10 years. It was a very toxic relationship that should of ended way before. She finally purposefully got pregnant out of desperation to keep him, and also to try to get him to finally marry her. He never did, and the relationship then dragged on longer with a child involved as well. They ended up splitting. It was messy and very traumatizing for my nephew. It has been horrible for all involved. So I know it’s different, but that’s what it reminded me of. 😞
It could be that he doesn't really want to marry her, but it could also be that he would want to but is crippled by the pain and loneliness caused by the conflicts and fights in the relationship. Some people are scared to commit - they could be afraid that if they do, it would get even worse and they would get stuck in the misery. Not a great way to go about it, but there are people like this.
@@mamabear2222😢😢
I just started dating this girl and she wants to fight with me every time I don’t come over to her house. She wants me there every single night. I have 2 dogs that she doesn’t want at her house so they have to stay home. Anything will set her off. I told her this morning that I don’t want to see her anymore.
He’s exhausting. He’s so nonchalant. Pick up your clothes! Let’s talk about why the utility bill is so high and what can we do about it?
jesus...these men think that they can live as a college kid for the rest of their lives. if you cant pick up your clothes you need to get a grip... you are not a child and she isnot your maid
Yeah same as saying people need to stop worrying or being emotional. People can change behaviours but not change fundamentally who they are.
And these men need to figure out that going out without their girlfriend and flirt with others and entertain the attention of another girl “friend” and expect her to accept it without thinking of that female friend as a threat of her relationship is going to cause issues. It is not grammar school anymore where having friends of the opposite sex is acceptable. It’s no longer because of the high risk of the threat of infidelity and emotional intimacy with someone other than your spouse or girlfriend so as an adult friends of the opposite sex without the inclusion of the spouse or girlfriend is wrong and leads to distrust and/or crossing lines whether intentional by one or the other or both of those involved or not and can often times lead to accidents. A lot of times a man may feel like he’s being a good friend to a single woman by being there for her where she feels safe and confides in him her struggles to which if he responds and tries to carry part of that burden by someone else instead of the person they are in a relationship with causes wedges between them and that spouse or girlfriend. That person needs to find someone else to give intimate details of their life to and/or go to counseling. Using a man who’s in a relationship and trying to bond with them when they are already bonded to someone else is not healthy.. yet adult men think they can be “just friends” with the opposite sex but it’s wrong and will destroy a good relationship.
I don’t like men that are slobs. I also don’t like being harassed over $50 either. If he can’t throw clothes in a hamper he shouldn’t be with someone. That comment about being a guy is why he left his clothes on the ground is immature! Is it a fight or does he just not like real communication? She can be a nag, but we don’t know that 100%. I do know I like being able to communicate without being accused of fighting.
A wise man once said nothing.
He said "sometimes he forgets". Grow up.
🐄🐮🐄🐮
Have you ever listened to a man? I think not.
I’m with you, Gabriela. My husband thinks we’re fighting, I think we’re communicating. It’s often just a misunderstanding, but it’s hard when he doesn’t like having difficult conversations. They don’t even happen that often, maybe once in a blue moon but afterwards he stays upset… sometimes for days at a time.
He wants to be a 20yo boy, responsibility free forever…
He’s got a LOT of maturing to do for any relationship to work because no woman will satisfy his childish desires…
But he didn’t really explain what the conflict is? There is a something behind the utility bill and clothes on the floor.
No discipline, man-child?
@@jeromehenry4484maybe she can't be satisfied?
@@WillIam79-c7f I wouldn't be satisfied either if my SO treated me like an unpaid maid and didn't stick to our household budget even though he praises Ramsey Solutions. The plan only works if you work the plan.
Great job, Dr Delony on the words vs picture in relationships.
THANK YOU DELONY for being so transparent and honest. I can relate and helped me realize what was truly missing in my own experience. The fights came from not feeling like it was all in despite moving across country together and living together. Of course it manifested through trivial fights and things that had nothing to do with anything. Im hopeful for this couple if he makes that choice. He sounds like he loves her. Life is hard but these are choices we have to make.
Appreciated the discussion about the girlfriend. Used parts of it in my discussion with husband of 28 years.
We have been having intermittent arguments lately, his version is we should not have any need for
communication about our marriage.
Playing marriage is never easy and is a breeding ground for bad decisions. If you're willing to buy a house with someone, you should be married. Same with having a kid or buying anything together
What utter nonsense.
He needs to call it. Your home should be a safe space. If she is critical and controlling by nature, that will never change.
Lol, the giant manbaby can't even put his clothes in a hamper
I can't even pinpoint what exactly he's getting at, so im not surprised he's confused. Like bro I'm confused as hell 😂
He's a 28 YO man-child. There, I cleared your confusion.
@jeromehenry4484😂😂😂
If your questioning things and constantly arguing trust me RUN now. It's not worth saving.
Just break up already.
She gets pregnant you are doomed.
I agree
You realize caller has legal obligation to mortgage company? No so easy to walk away from mortgage payments.
if she gets preggers, SHE is doomed to life with some loser, half assed dude who wants a mommy...not a life partner
@@jeromehenry4484 you don’t have children, do you? you can get away from any contract, children bind you forever! if you want it or not, with other partners or not
@@kingasif9265definitely! they would put serious trauma to the children 😢
As a Canadian I just want to let people know that you are considered common-law after six months of living together. So the house is half and half. But it’s early in the mortgage so probably not much equity there.
he lost me when he said comes home and just throws his cloths on the floor
Have the courage to be with someone who will go to war with you and that you have their back in return as well.
If not, don't play games and move on.
If his idea of a “big fight,” is not cleaning up his dirty laundry, then they are doomed. It’s so easy to take off clothes and immediately put them in a basket. If he’s not trying to do even these simple things, then he’s not truly committed to this relationship.
Man how the bar has been set so low.
'If he won't pick up his laundry, then he's worst than Hitler. Find you a real man, sista.'
I was irritated with this dude in the first minute. He just wants permission to leave. Dude. Leave. It's much more kind to break up with her now than to string her along until she's too old to have kids, which is not very far away. Go. Get out. You say you love her, but you don't or else you don't love her enough.
Bro, break up with her now before you complicate your relationship further by having kids.
Leave before more damage happens
Dude you’re playing house- marry her or leave. stop waisting her time.
He is looking for an out. I’m sure they have had these convos before. He’s had to after 6 years. He got with her at just 22 years old. Or maybe she is picking fights to get him to break up with her?
I almost thought he was going to ask what we all want to know. : why aren’t you married?
I hope he doesn’t marry her 😂
@@kingasif9265I hope not either
I don't want to know that, so boring
Broke up three times but sure lets enter a 30 year 6 figure contract together... dummy
Doing a normal basic human thing...like putting your dirty clothes into the hamper is a negotiation? Oh please grow up dude..
He will probably leave her if he meets someone else.
Same conversation I've been having for 30 years. I never thought it was worth leaving. Those are the dumbest reasons to argue and separate.
Can you manage to put your dirty clothes in the hamper?
Oh my goodness, caller. You've been in and out and up and down with this relationship for six years. If this is what gives you quality of life, then stay in it. If you desire something more, get out. Jay-sus. Its not that complicated.
Throwing your dirty clothes where ever they land, and expecting her to pick them up - shows a definite lack of respect. Dr John's "behaviour is a language".
She is neither your maid nor your mommy (nor should maids nor mommies be treated with such disrespect either!).
But if he wants to kill off the passion in the bedroom, then sure, toss those clothes around...
Sounds like he wants to play house with his mom and is pissed off she’s not having it. Be a man, commit, organize the bills and pick up your damn clothes! Good god. So petty.
If having clothes on the floor isn't that big of deal, then its not that big of deal to take the 2 seconds to put them in the hamper instead of the floor. The gf expressed how this made her feel and instead of respecting her and doing that for her, he's choosing to start a fight.
If you've been with someone for 6yrs and you bought a house together why the heck not just marry the person and make it official? So that way, no matter what happens they HAVE to work things through rather than just "breaking up" anytime something bad happens? I married my wife after 6 months because I was 31 and sick of going on dates all the time and moving in with the girl I was dating. if you love the woman, then make it official. I don't understand how people can buy a house together and live together AND then not be married. It's stilly to me.
Frequently, men and woman need about a half hour or so to switch gears from work to home.
I think he might be lacking in other duties that contribute to the care, cleanliness, and maintenance of a home. If you live there, you do your part. You do not do things that give your partner more work. I feel she cares a lot more than he does. He is a lot more than “one foot out.”
They don’t sound compatible at all they break up all the time and fight all the time. Just leave
Marry her or let her go you’re wasting her time
He's still a 20-something kid and she is a grown woman homeowner. Not gonna work.
He’s out of emotionally. He’s just waiting for som one better to come along so he won’t be lonely.
Get a clothes hamper and use it! Turn off what you are not using. Unplug what is not necessary.
I understand Deloney is a romantic but I really wish he wouldn’t act like every relationship is going to work.
Security is everything. Feeling valued. There is a deeper issue where she has has felt invaluable. Maybe from childhood. And maybe from one of the times they broke up. What caused the break up? Lying, unfaithfulness. She is wanting to be cherished and valued.
Bought a house together? Lord help these people.
She wants to be his mother (control) and he doesn’t want to marry someone who becomes his mother in the relationship.
If she's just picking fights with you out of the blue like that, you gotta get the hell away from her, and not just for a while until you start missing her, FOREVER. Screw living like that, you only got one life bro, don't spend it like this, you deserve peace and quiet.
He's the one picking fights by not respecting her. It's not that hard.
@@user-wc5lw7ps6h1 Maybe he doesn't respect her cos she picks fights with him. 🤷
Wow! Delony is a TRUE romantic. It's like a fairy tale that can survive reality, because it deals with reality! So beautiful and hard at the same time
Another Nice Guy trying to win his older girlfriend’s love & approval by being nice & doing what she wants. If he really loved her, they already would have married. Sounds to me like his girl functions as a maternal figure in a way, and he’s trying to please mom. That’s my take, not healthy.
When you play house, and act married when you aren’t, this is what happens.
Never EVER buy a house with someone you are dating. You are so screwed
What is this guy thinking buying a house with a girl he isn’t married to?
If things are this bad while they are "playing house," I guarantee the marriage will be hell.
Lord, being single is sooo much easier and more peaceful than this. It’s been six years. Call it. Both of you take time to heal and find someone you’re more compatible with.
Nahhh I’m single now and I am excited for partner. It’s just important to find someone who will respect you enough. They can work it out. People always throw away relationships like it’s nothing.
@@raspberrykissable exactly! Some people are so selfish! 😒
@TheUnknownMissAusten Everyone needs someone!!! I was single for nearly 35 yrs before I finally broke outta my shell and got my first real GF and let me tell you even though her and i aren't together anymore I am excited about getting into the next one. Sometimes being single is great but it's also nice to have someone.
If he proposes! 85% of those fights will stop. ❤
I hope all the young men out there hear this call. Don't be this guy. Never buy a house with anyone unless you have made the mistake of getting married. Never date and lead a woman on for YEARS like this guy. Always treat women with the respect you desire from her. Be clear on the relationship scope, and be clear on the financial picture but never enter into legal binding contracts with women. If you chose to, you bring in 3rd parties that can dictate the outcome should it not go well (courts, police, family, friends, children). You can be in a loving committed relationship with a woman and never get married, and never own property together. Good luck.
So glad I'm never getting married again.
I've never had a single reservation about the man I married. Ever. We are 35 years old, married ten years, together for 16. I don't understand a relationship being as much work as some people make it, it shouldn't be that hard with the right person.
Some people rather be in limbo than to make a decision and sit in it.
A relationship on and off for 6 years and y'all thought it was a good idea to get a house together. Oof... That's a tough one. I hope they can work out their issues.
Wish we could hear her side. Six years on and off and bought a house? Sounds like committed and confused 😂
This poor caller is getting picked on a lot in these comments. At least he admitted to not always using the hamper. I don't think that alone is worthy of a firing squad. 😅 Nevertheless, sometimes big arguments over small things can cover larger issues. I agree with Dr. John that they need to have a big picture conversation to see if they're on the same page, or if they can become so. I hope it all works out for them.
Why would you buy a house with someone you are not married too lol
So many comments are focused on on the clothes on the floor and ignoring the fight over a utility bill that's $50 more than expected. Apparently, he makes good money so that's no more the problem than the clothes are the problem.
Some are assuming that she's frustrated because after 6 years together they aren't married. Dr. John is the only one who mentioned marriage. If she wants marriage she blew a great opportunity to expect marriage before they bought a house.
Seems like this guy is on the fence. He loves her but the fighting is just too much. He should follow Dr. John's advice and have a talk about what type of home they want. Look for a change in both of them but if after 6 months the fights are still occurring just sell the house & walk away.
John, HE DOESNT WANT TO MARRY HER PERIOD. he would’ve already. He knows he shouldn’t have bought the house. He was hoping John would say to end it. He needs to end it. Or she does. She has allowed 6 years of this. If she wants marriage, she should’ve walked away years ago and found someone on the same page. YES, walk away sir. You’re stressed because you KNOW you don’t want this. Be honest. Don’t waste any more of either of your time. Your gut is telling you to go. That’s why you’re so confused. It should NOT be hard. It should be easy to know. I think you know it but it’s hard to face. Do you want to wake up 10 years from now and wish you hadn’t stayed? WALK. AWAY. I as a woman would not want to hear my man talk like this. John, you’re great but don’t try to talk him into something he obviously doesn’t want. I can tell from here he doesn’t want to marry her. He can love her all he wants but he doesn’t sound like he’s ALL IN whatsoever. Not even close.
A close friend of mine told me, If you want to marry a guy, do not live together; it's not the same as getting married.
It's only going to get worse over time.
This was/is my husband and I. Come to find out by listening to your wife's interview that it is ADHD related. So we are trying to work through this and find different systems.
Sounds like my first marriage 10 years fights everyday so draining , my god. I was like him. my ex was like her in this scenario😂
Imagine what he felt like living in a garbage can
Black and white thinking can cause what this young man is experiencing. I feel bad for the girlfriend
"Your wife is your partner not your mom.
She is not a living maid or a hired cleaning crew,
so she shouldn't have to pick up after you,"
Also … if respect your partner you don’t surprise her with extra 50$ bills …
You bought a house with her , take responsibility.
He is just not ready for commitment or real responsibility and doesn’t have the honour to admit it.
Stop disrespect people and make them confrontational and then blame them … for start fights.
How many time another should be told not to make a mess in a cleaned room ( probably cleaned by her ) 😂
Just call it. Breaking up 5 times is only waiting for the 6th one and now there's a mortgage to make things even messier.
He's invalidating her feelings, plain and simple.
The algorithm gotta be spying on me cause this is almost identical to what I’m going through…How did all of a sudden this pop up on my feed?