it feels like she has an image of what she wants her relationship to look like and this is what she's shooting for and wants to create. It sounds superficial. "Power couples" create together in love and trust.
@@venM9 ha! We didn’t have a choice since neither of us had the money to do that. It was 1986, we had 6 months to plan. Had it in a fire hall, got my dress new from a bridal store that closed for a hundred bucks. A maid of honor, a best man, no huge wedding party. Suits, no tuxedos so they could use them another time. Whole wedding cost $1500, we had a DJ and a disco ball, dinner and beer/mixed drinks. It was awesome! Honeymoon for two nights in the poconos 💗
Many get married for a marriage but maintaining a relationship is hard work personally, and interpersonally and they don’t have the tools. Rarely any one gets married for a wedding. I’m going to assume you’re not married
I don't see what is wrong with her description of a power couple though? She said that it means continuous improvement, which is what healthy couples do.
@@somethingstuffles9084 maybe, but not always, some people are very happy where they are and with their stability, no need to constantly move the goal post to the next achievement.
True. I’ve seen that before. There’s some sort of lying or lack of truth inside of laughing and silence as a response. It’s a weird way of getting others to go agree with them. But subconscious. I learned I can’t communicate well with people who laugh as a response because it’s extremely dis-genuine and oddly it has an air or dishonesty too.
I wanted to date to marry but when I met my husband, I wanted to marry him because I couldn't imagine my life without him. It wasn't just because I wanted to get married. That's why I broke off my past few relationships was because they weren't what I was looking for. When I met my husband, I honestly could not stand being away from him. I still can't we've been married for almost 12 years. When he works from home, unlike a child jumping up and down😂😂
Agree, but it can be a problem if you've decided to commit to marriage before you even get to know that person. I know lots of conservative christian couples who have bought into this "courtship for marriage" idea, and that essentially means an unspoken commitment to get married before they've even really gotten to know each other. In that case you've put the idea marriage ahead of loving that person. But I definitely agree that you should be dating with marriage in mind, if that means, having an ear to the future and continually asking the question to yourself, "can I love this person for the rest of my life?", as opposed to dating because its fun in the moment.
Power Couple = We both work, but he needs to make more money than me and engage in choreplay at a frequency I find acceptable without complaint. Otherwise he gets to see me powerwalk my way to divorce court. Fellas run far away from any woman who utters this term. Treat her like you’ll get the itchy scratchy just by looking at her.
I remember my husband telling me about being a power couple while I was battling breast cancer and sat their bald. I was blown away. Come to find out..he was banging a 22 year old, kid.
I don't think it's so much fault...it's just learning how to help/get help. She knew she's the one causing the issues in her marriage...knowing her husband said he's sick of her. And knowing she had a list and date to marry, etc. She was calling to find help/advice
I see advice from some conservatives about how you should date to marry and tell the person on the first date. If she grew up in a house hold like this and community then of course she will think that this is what she must do. If her parents put on a charade then she will think this is what you must do.
@@jeremygalloway1348 To know you want to get married is not the issue here. I mean, that is not how I would approach dating. But to each their own. he could have just said “no thank you” and left. Easy as that. But he stayed and he married her. Also, the things on her lists were “I want us to always better and improve ourselves and stay in communication of what we want” because she felt this is something that successful couples do. AND IT IS!!! My mind is honestly blown with people knitpicking that she had a list when it is a very reasonable list from what I can tell. If she felt frustrated because those things were not met, then she is clearly not the one with the issue. Furthermore “Go fix yourself” are not the words of a great communicator or one with much empathy.
He told her why when he said she was a bad communicator. All the likes and basicallys make her sound young, naive, and dim. My guess is she is none of those things. Hope she and her hubby can work it out.
Oh yikes! This woman! I was married at 18, my husband was 21. We had our son very young and my husband worked during the day. I worked week nights and I also worked some weekends. My husband also went to school in the evenings. We did this to avoid daycare. Now that in my eyes is a team and a power couple. We have been married over 36 years , of course ups and downs but well worth it.
Beautiful story and a wonderful example of being a team. Thank you for sharing it with us. Unfortunately some marriages fail because they can't get through the difficult years of having young children, work, school and not having enough time with each other. It's so important to find a person who will get through everything with you just as you have. You're very blessed. ❤
@@aly_ko thank you. The first few years were tough financially but little things hikes, walks, or just movie night with friends that didn’t cost a lot of money was fun. Even now we don’t go on big vacations until it’s paid for ahead of time. and marriage at times is hard work, not all the time but even we can take each other for granted and we let each other know! We’re human.
The fact that she said, "Power Couple" already tells me she wants a social media marriage. It's about what their marriage looks like on the outside, rather than what actually makes her husband happy, what makes their marriage happy. How they appear on the surface (to others) is more important to her than actually having a happy marriage on the inside. This man is working a full time job and a side hustle to financially support her and yet she's still demanding more more more. She sounds immature and selfish. If she keeps going at this rate, her husband is going to reach the end of his rope and leave her.
@@tfernandez6806 I think a lot of people look at "power couples" or whatever "happy" people they see and just assume they are truly happy. They feel jealous or simply sad that they don't have what they seem to have. That's how I think she meant, especially when she said divorce was a driver for why she had that list.
I agree, that is such a weird goal, to become a "power couple". I would think that is something that happens somewhat naturally if they support one another. People also need to realize what gets posted on social media are only the good times. I had a friend that would always post when her boyfriend would give her flowers (supposedly for no reason). After she finally got away from him, she told me that was his "sorry" after his beatings. Don't believe everything you see on social media.
I agree. I don't always agree with his takes but his delivery is very compassionate and he's fairly good at reading between the lines of what callers are saying/feeling.
@@a.r.8954 I disagree. He's just trying to please his callers, so the harsh truth he's completely omitting, maybe doesn't even understand it. Instead he goes "you're perfect, and then you're not because nobody is perfect", that's just honey on the pig, just what the women want to hear. I doubt anyone here in the comment section understands what the harsh truth actually is. And that's another harsh truth.
I shared elsewhere I wonder if others here agree or have different views of it pls comment. I’ve seen that before. There’s some sort of lying or lack of truth inside of laughing and silence as a response. It’s a weird way of getting others to go agree with them. But subconscious. I learned I can’t communicate well with people who laugh as a response because it’s extremely dis-genuine and oddly it has an air or dishonesty too.
Having lightness in difficult situations is so it doesn't go sideways. It's to keep the temperature down and help repair any tears that pop up. Look into John Gottmans work to learn more about that. I was so wrong to get upset at repair attempts i wasn't aware of.
I dated someone like this for a couple of months, it was exhausting. She held me to a higher standard than she held herself to, even though her standards for herself were impossible to meet. If you're dating someone like this, you're going to get exhausted fast.
If a woman is incapable of selflessly sacrificing for your needs/wants (at times) it's unwise to stick with her. Any man or woman with the 24/7 "me me me" mentality is absolutely unsuitable for a serious relationship.
@@thaimuayshoo1171 this is why my gf is put on pause without promotion to wife. She always thinks I should be the one who should always make the effort to go see her, at any cost, put my relatives on the back burner. Then she says, "When we're married, you can't go out to exercise past 8 pm." "You can't have a dog," it's always a demand. "My money is my money, your money is my money." "My money is my money, your money is our money."
@@texan903 You sound like a jerk. “my gf is put on pause without promotion to wife”. Just break up with her so she can find a suitable mate. You know she wants marriage and it isn’t going to be you.
Her demands of her husband are too ridiculous. She wants him to be perfect it appears, what’s she bringing to the table? Because it just seems like a lot of immaturity and bullshit.
She only brings in her vag to the relationship. He's a workhorse for her. That's his only value to her. She doesn't care about him nor his happiness, she only wants him to work work work to provide her the life she feels she "deserve".
Her husband made a huge mistake marrying her. She’s not looking for a marriage, she’s looking for a lifestyle that’s he’s solely responsible for providing.
so, a traditional marriage ...she doesn't sound like a traditional wife! she will need to watch a lot of video on how to be classy wife ect. She can fix it if she want we never know
@@Leavetheguntakethecannoli I have plenty of empathy Einstein. But I’m human and I guarantee you Dr John is not always patient but he has to be because he’s being recorded. You should try common sense
Sounds like she follows that Morgan person and the two conservative Christian sisters that preach purity gospel and intentional marriage and it isn't working bc OF COURSE IT ISN'T.
Her husband should have married someone more mature if that's not what he was looking for. No idea why people pick spouses that have issues they're not okay with then complain about it after.
Wow!! She wants to be a power couple, however, she never mentioned anything about loving him. She giggles and laughs at everything. Oh my gosh...I'm surprised that he stayed as long as he has.
And what career is she pursuing to add to their finances, and to enrich their conversations? Vs, gimme gimme gimme, and baby pooped baby peed, and in 6 months I need to be pregnant again, move move I'm on a plan!
He was with her fir 6 year's then proposed....what's that about. They created 2 people post marriage. It's too late to be sick of her. He has to sit in it with her and they have to work on a compromise.
As a husband, I can’t imagine the pressure a woman would put on a man by a woman that wanted to be a “power couple”. Sort of fantasy land thinking and not someone that would be able to handle when life gets tough
@@laurie.caserta My parents were divorced. My stepfather walked on eggshells to keep my mother happy. She was demanding and did not respect him. I disliked my stepfather, disliked his not standing up to her, and disliked the way she behaved toward him. It wasn’t a good example.
@@genxx2724 Amen to that. My parents stayed together until my Mother's death. From the outside we were a perfect 10 family, from the inside I'd say we were honestly about a 7. Many good times, but also times when we were all walking on egg shells around my mother and my poor father agreeing aimlessly to keep the peace.
Women always get told to just tell men what we want in a straightforward list, then get called demanding and annoying when we do. This is why women don't just tell you what they want. There is a more sensitive, empathetic way to do it, if both parties have the emotional intelligence to handle the hard conversations.
No guys love clear expectations, but not if they're established in the context of an argument or emotional outburst. Usually what happens is people fail to set clear expectations and then get upset at their partner for failing to meet them and in the heat of the moment finally say it with their chest, but at that point it has so much emotional baggage attached to it that it falls on deaf ears.
I'm listening to this apparently one year too late to really have an active voice, but I'm sitting yelling at Dr. Deloney, "you aren't listening to her!" Honestly this is total cringe. I think he completely misunderstood everything she said.
3.5 minutes in, and I'm already sick of her. Props to the guy for making it 9 years. 🤢 This girl has some growing up to do. Hopefully they can go get some help.
Lol I truly believe she didn't get it as she sounded like she wasn't willing to accept her behavior is fueling her issues when Doc was calling her out.
My ex was similar. Very frustrating which is why she's an ex. I remember an argument where she said something along the lines of "well I see in movies...." I checked out shortly after lmao
Oh no! It’s scary when you realise some people believe what they see on the screen as reality. I dislike obviously scripted reality shows. These shows need to be relabelled. Movies, well let’s not go there! You dodged a bullet.
I don't know why people are bashing her in the comment section, clearly she's having martial problems and is looking for help. Especially considering both their parents were divorced. There's no cheating or abuse mentioned either. They just aren't perfect and need some guidance from the looks of it.
I respect her a lot for calling up, and being open to hearing what John was saying. It made me feel happy for her when I heard those light bulbs go off. She has just been doing her best with what she knows, through her past experiences, and through bad advice. It's brave to be willing to admit you've made mistakes and be ready to make changes for the better. Well done.
I respect your opinion, but I disagree. She called John to have him agree with her and tell her she is right. That big fight where her husband told her to fix herself, my guess is he really laid it on her and her massive ego was hurt. You can tell by the change in her tone when Dr. John calls her out too. By the end of the call, John was telling her straight up he didn’t believe her when she said she doesn’t nag. He had her figured out real quick. Textbook narcissist. Good luck to her and her husband.
@@ShaveItDown Nah. I think his advice is completely useless, and she went at some point "I see, okay..." after he said "you're perfect and you aren't and neither is he and that's what makes it blah blah blah"... It sounds to me like she has absolutely no idea what he's trying to say. Neither do I. Whether she's actually nagging or not I think isn't important, important is that something's wrong with her behavior, the husband is sick of it and activated the timer on the marriage and she's feeling it. She knows he's not gonna change, she has to. Up till now she couldn't fathom her behavior being worse than his, but it's starting to get in her head slowly. And the list for the power couple marriage, I think it's rather a list how not to get divorced like their parents. The fact that she handed it to him means she expected him to fix all the problems, while she was leaning back and refuted all accountability. It's like, the typical saying goes "two are needed for a good communication", but from what I see it's usually the woman who breaks the communication (for example with the silent treatment) and the man alone can't fix it. That's just as an example, apparently they do communicate, but she has to partake in solving other problems by adjusting her behavior. The doc doesn't get this, I think. He didn't call her out, he was guessing. When he said marriage shouldn't be a job interview, that was somewhat decent, but I wonder whether it helped her at all.
She is a walking red flag. Everything is about her. She doesn’t want a real relationship, she wants Instagram posts to prove to everyone (who doesn’t care) how perfect her life is. She needs to grow up and so does he because he had to see this coming a mile away
What a sick, sick, sick man John Delony is. He tells people all the time...don't ready the youtube comments. Why? Because he's afraid someone will make a really good comment that doesn't conform to his agenda. So he wants to deprive his callers with some of the information. Shame on John!
She sounds like she has anxiety and intimacy issues which could come from her childhood thus the need to control the outcome. Some divorces are absolutely traumatizing on kids. Some people get married before they have a chance to sort out these issues. Glad she called in to seek help. Best to you.
😂😂😂 same here, I almost gave up and wanted to go to next video at 5:00 but Dr. Delonay called her out for being not a good communicator and finished the entire video
Dr John advises his callers all the time not to read the youtube comments? Why? because he wants to deprive his callers of all the information. Why does he want to do this? For control. That's why anyone wants to deprive someone who is reaching for help with additional information. What is John afraid of? Simple, losing control! Someone may have better advice than him? Sick, sick man. Shame on him!
@@thaneros thaneros, thaneros, thaneros, newsflash --> life can be pretty brutal. Just last month I was talkig to someone who home schooled their son. The son then goes to college and finds out he can't make straight "A" like he did at mommy and daddies home school. Well, welcome to life Jr...sometimes its brutal.
@@thaneros Well yes. Maybe Tyler Shultz should have kept quiet since the truth about Elizabeth Holmes and Thaneros was too "brutal" for the world to hear. Shame on Tyler for speaking up and shame on youtubers who don't agree with Dr John. Elizabeth was right to tell people not to listen to her detractors and Dr John is right to tell people not to read the youtube comments.
He probably wanted a good marriage. She wanted the perfect facade and a marriage that's more of a performance than a relationship. She's also hiding a lot of resentment and trauma - you can hear it in her nervous laughter.
My husband and I dated for years before we married (did not live together.) We knew exactly what we were getting. There was nothing to change. It made life so much easier.
Ugh… I think we’ve all known someone like this. I dated a man similar in that it was all about our image, how we appeared on the outside, how I could benefit his aspirations, how others saw us. Way too much “drive” and expectations for me. I’m not a society girl. Grew up on a farm in the country and the whole social scene is just too much for this girl. I thank God every single day that He sent my husband, a city boy throughout who gave up his sidewalk’s for woods, pastures, and a barn not to mention the kiddos! I am the luckiest woman alive, Blessed beyond comprehension.❤
If he didn't take "appearance" seriously, you wouldn't be with him to begin with! Sure, there is a fine balance of taking appearance with importance and not over do it or "keep up with Jonses", but neither extreme is good. "Nothing taken to the extreme is EVER good"
I don’t like list. When my husband left me list when we first got married 40 years ago, I intentionally did not do the list. I did start leaving him list. Guess what ? He didn’t like being left list either. No more lo do list!
I dated a girl like that, she gave me a list. The problem is that they are attached to a perfect idea. Nothing in life is perfect. We need to see that our spouses are perfect as God made them, not as what we want to make them.
@@kellharris2491 yeah, my parents marriage was bad too and, I been living on my own since I was a teen and rapidly realize that things don’t go as plan and is beautiful that they don’t. I keep my values intact and adapt my plans according to what life offers.
@@larissagonzales6075 hahaha! It was actually two girls that gave me a list. Some people get in love with an idea, not a person. Has happened to me 4 times with my last relationships. I’ve worked to be good husband and father material and women fall for what I can provide, not for me 😔
That "oh" after he said that the admiration of others will come over time by working on the self and relationship felt real. This is clearly a young person with little to no healthy IRL examples of love and partnership, falling for the societal "expectations" of them is understandable. Her making this call shows she's ready to hear others and learn, which is all we can ask for.
The incessant giggling reflected immaturity; this is not a joke-they have at least one child together and owe it to that child to provide a safe, healthy home with 2 ADULT parents. She needs to grow up in a big way. A marriage is a partnership. BE a partner-try asking him what HE needs and what you can do better in the relationship, and then DO what he asks. It sounds like this man married an immature girl who focuses on her own needs only. I wish them well.
Not necessarily. Laughing can be a way to deal with intense or embarrassing confrontation. You've heard of a nervous laugh? Laughter can be a way to show that you're okay or that you're uncomfortable, but you are still feeling safe. Laughter was a way through evolution to convey to a group that the tense moment or accident didn't result in terrible consequences. It's to relieve tension. You know how you feel good after a good laugh after you've been feeling down? Linking laughter to maturity is why so many adults live in such stressful lives. They need to laugh more to remind their body that they're okay, but society demands that everything is serious and every event is the worst thing to ever happen.
I have asked my husband so many times what he needs and he always says idk… so maybe she asked him and he doesn’t say anything. I communicate my needs but he won’t tell me his so that’s not a me problem that’s a him problem.
@@rustymozzy She verbalizes herself in a child like fashion. One could excuse some of the laughs and giggles if she sounded more mature when she spoke. But, the overall combo creates an impression of immaturity.
@@danilaroche1156 God never meddles with human affairs. You can pray, but all you'll get is a placebo feeling. She has to get over her pride, realize her behaviors cause problems and, like the husband said, fix herself and those behaviors. The problem is that society preaches to women how perfect they are (the doctor as well, he couldn't tell her the harsh reality, instead he told her "you're perfect and you aren't because nobody is perfect") and she probably never considered her behavior to be lackluster, until the husband slapped her with the ultimatum. Now she knows she has to change, and he's not going to, yet she doesn't even know what she's doing wrong and has to call psychologists to find out. And the docs advice was sh_t. Not the best prospects for that marriage.
Mollie, in case you don't follow Dr. John's advice and you're reading this; you can do it! All relationships have their challenges, and we are cheering you on! It will take a lot of growing up, but you got this. :)
Dr John advises his callers all the time not to read the youtube comments? Why? because he wants to deprive his callers of all the information. Why does he want to do this? For control. That's why anyone wants to deprive someone who is reaching for help with additional information. What is John afraid of? Simple, losing control! Someone may have better advice than him? Sick, sick man. Shame on him!
OH goodness, harsh comments. She was reaching out for clarity and who in the world would not be nervous, with their voice raising to unnatural octaves, if you were putting yourself out there and knew you were being recorded while discussing a very, very private matter? These callers are brave. Mollie sounded as if she were very willing to try a new approach and rethink their negative patterns. That is a good example for everyone listening to the call. She sounded young, and most people have a mental marriage checklist until age 30 or so.
Not harsh at all. John speaks the truth and he has to get to the core of the problems quickly. Which he, amazingly, did. I hope Molly takes his wisdom to heart.
I'm annoyed by the fake Ahas,and constant not understanding what John says. She's immature, superficial, and not thinking. I suspect the marriage counselors saw she had a iron set superficial mindset, he will provide, be handsome and we will " show well" as a couple. So they ba ked off saying pleasantries, because nothing was going to sink into that concrete. She wants to be an influencer, and her husband is longing for neat, potatoes and a real life.
I think a lot people see marriage as good but don’t know how. Don’t yet have the skills to communicate well, serve and love. People come with a lot of hurt and dysfunction and then get to practice improving on eachother. I hope they can sort it out.
On a slight tangent, this is what happens when pastors and other church leaders start taking on marriage and other counseling. While they may have faith and mean well, they frequently aren't qualified or have the knowledge to provide effective counseling. This is especially true when there is trauma or complex mental health issues. Or, in this case a woman with underdeveloped communication skills and pretty serious control issues.
Yep. This is part of the reason why my pastor stopped doing counseling many years ago. He'll give wonderful life advice but once it gets past a certain level he'll recognize and acknowledge they need help from a professional.
I told me husband that i was saving myself for marriage and that dating for me was a way too get to know someone not a way to get layed. I think that's a better way to frame the "dating for marriage" conversation. I tell my kids, when you're ready to fall in love and get married, then you can date. Save yourself for marriage and use dating as a way to get to know people and treat then well.
I bet you anything she's reading ALL the youtube comments 🤣 She's focused on the end goal without knowing how to get there, but she's really confident she has the answers. She needs a new blueprint and ask her husband questions on what he's fed up with with details.
Dr John advises his callers all the time not to read the youtube comments? Why? because he wants to deprive his callers of all the information. Why does he want to do this? For control. That's why anyone wants to deprive someone who is reaching for help with additional information. What is John afraid of? Simple, losing control! Someone may have better advice than him? Sick, sick man. Shame on him!
@@sudhanvakashyap297 or...now here me out, he is projecting his own feelings on her. I don't want to disclose too much personal information on youtube, but I never said that I didn't do this professionally and I never said that I haven't been in the profession for over 17 years and possibly have heard more cases then him. I don't think he gives good advice and I think he is a smug man who truly thinks he is helping people but his training is clouded too much by his religious beliefs.
@@youart9797 I may not always agree with his advice(and I'm no professional--just a book reader on this subject from time to time)---but to say his training is clouded by religious beliefs is a bit of an overreach. If anything, his religious beliefs take too much of a back-seat. He's like a generic believer that barely mentions the Bible or anything in it on this show.
She is clueless about what a real marriage is. You can tell she's not really listening to what he's saying. Who marries to be a "power couple"?! That's a superficial thing to say and her immaturity will lead the demise of her marriage.
I just love that she cared enough to ask for help, it's hard letting someone see you and tell you exactly what they see in you. She received the advice and the observation like a champ. I wish them well.❤🙏🏽🇿🇦
Poor girl, it seems like she was in such a hurry to get married her goal was just to make it to the alter as fast a possible and figure out the details later on.
@@johnny9072 na... he got through. She kept getting quiet and saying, "yeahhhhhhh" Us women can talk! That silence and agreement means the argument is over.
I honestly got the impression she wasn't even paying attention. There was a point where he had spoke for a while then paused... and in the middle of dead air she goes, "yeah". The girl is a full blown narcissist. She didn't get anything from the call lol
I hope it’s not in a year sitting in an empty apartment with a baby that she realizes the severity of her marriage and what’s going on. I feel for them both
*Caller:* _"I can't land a rich Chad so I settled and married a guy who is not a rich Chad and I'm now riding him, demanding him to provide me the life I feel I deserve. I don't financially contribute anything to our marriage but I have a list of demands for my workhorse husband so he can work harder for the life I envision for myself because it's all about me and what I want"._
It’s so hard when you don’t know what a healthy marriage is supposed to be like in the nitty gritty everyday details. She cobbled together an idea of what it’s supposed to be like. I think the desire for the power couple means to be United and making a positive difference. She experienced the opposite with divorced parents. That need for control so that doesn’t happen to her, I get it. I hope she can let go of the control so she can enjoy him. It’s probably going to be hard, but worth it.
She said “I want to be a Power Couple. So basically, I want someone who is beside me. I want us to always better and improve ourselves and I want to stay in constant communication of what we want”. To be honest, that sounds exactly what a healthy relationship looks like. Sure, there is always a discussion to be had to what level “improving oneself” has to be taken. But in essence, it’s not a crazy demand for a marriage. Heck, someone who values growth and communication are MY expectations of a healthy relationship! I don’t get how she is so harped on!
@@sarahtaavetti That line, that both should constantly improve themselves, sounds theoretically good for a relationship. In practice people don't apply it the way they phrase it, and it fails. Example is communication, it's also often said that "a good relationship needs good communication". But what I observe is that women are the ones who destroy the communication when they are angry as a form of emotional punishment for their husband. Theory sounds good, in practice it's to hell in a handbasket. To me it sounded like the power couple wasn't important for her. Instead when she handed him the list, she expected him to make the relationship work and renounced accountability at the same time. That caused her to not expect her behavior to cause problems, until she realized it does when the husband gave her the ultimatum to fix herself. She knew then that he's not gonna change, she has to. She didn't even know how, she had to call psychologists. Women are like this quite often, they are being taught by society that they're angels, so they don't have to learn to control their behaviors and emotions, their bad behavior often even gets excused especially when they're on their period. Even if there's criticism directed at them, they can deflect it with their emotions (by being angry and offended, or hurt). A survey has shown that women who love their husbands hurt them emotionally anyway and on a daily basis without realizing it, and to top it off, they don't even understand it if it's explained to them, unless a very female language about feelings is used. Since you're both women (the OP as well), you might get offended from what I just said. But it's really not my intention to offend, so I hope you think about these words, too.
@@nightmareTomek I get what you are saying in essence: it’s easy to just shove the expectations and accountability to someone else and make them work it out for you. However, that whole sexist prejudice around it is just some made up bullshit in your head man! Some people, and yes, some of them may be women, are like that, but you cannot generalize that. There is a study that shows that women who love their husbands emotionally hurt them and if you try to explain it to them they are too dumb to understand? Sure, buddy. That does not sound made up AT ALL. I get what you are trying to say, but by generalizing a behaviour to all women, you automatically assume, men dont do that and consequently are less likely to discuss the matter with an open mind. You should really reflect on your views on gender roles. Who knows , maybe you learn a thing or two!
@@sarahtaavetti I just learn that I'm right again, as always. You're a woman, ergo you are offended when hearing certain criticism. That's just what I experience. If I were a 6 figure income 6" dude that you would need to convince of a relationship, you'd listen. Otherwise you don't. Unfortunately it's a criticism for women, they need to hear it so they can improve upon, but instead they're being offended and dismiss it on the spot. They can call the critic a misogynist and done. That's a real problem with women today and not a sexist prejudice, you just want to frame it that way to dismiss the criticism and continue with your bad behavior and continue to not accept it's existence. It's not a study, it's a survey. I've read about it years ago, I stumbled on it accidently while looking for something else, and now I can't find it again. Very niche. But there have been articles from women who realized what they were doing, maybe google "emotionally abusing my husband", if you're not completely close-minded. I'm observing the same thing, women get mad and they hurt others emotionally, and no, they don't seem to understand it. Instead I as a child was already told by other men to accept this female behavior with the argument that we can't change it anyway. There are female youtube channels talking about how society is tolerating and excusing bad female behavior. That's why you have a hard time seeing it, you've been taught from a young age that acting out as a woman is completely fine, since you can have your period. It's a real problem, sexist or not. If you'd research it for a while, you'd see that I'm correct.
@@nightmareTomek so if I agree with you, you are correct, And if I don‘t agree with you, then you are also correct? That sounds like an argument a 5 year old has with their mother. Maybe you should google confirmation bias instead of regurgating the content of your latest alpha man podcast episode. If you are not completly close-minded, that is. Also „very niche“ surveys are not very representitive of the general public, are they? … that’s why they are niche.
Weird how this call flipped around on the caller. I feel like tons more information is truly needed from both sides to make a better judgement to help tho. I loved the Spice Girls comment and busted out loud laughing at work!
She's living in her head and forcibly projecting expectations on her husband based on her idealized vision of their marriage. Not a great way to start an enjoyable marriage when it's driven by a biological clock.
There was no comment on what she is doing for work. I had been there and done that. He is frustrated he is busting his. It and she is taking everything and not giving anything back. I am near certain of it
I hope the best for this family. ❤ Sometimes When people call you childish and selfish even when you are over thirty, when they get sick of you after 5 minutes and you think to yourself; I don't see the problem, I am always positive and have all these fabulous plans, they just have to go along with it, it can be helpful to make sure you are not affected by adult ADHD. When the husband advised her to go to therapy and fix herself - That might be a good advise for her - and the kids. I hope they make it 🙌🏼
John should really stop saying he's "not good at this", it's not an effective way to calm down callers. If anything it should make someone more nervous to be vulnerable.
Social media influencers taught me I should and you should and we should, STOP SHOULDING ALL OVER YOURSELF! 2 minutes of influencer scripts are not real.
Yeah, what social media represents as a “power couple” is just superficiality and money, not real love.
RIGHT EXACTLY!!
This!
it feels like she has an image of what she wants her relationship to look like and this is what she's shooting for and wants to create. It sounds superficial. "Power couples" create together in love and trust.
she works on social media, probably has a lot of things that are not really normal, normalized.
She's still a kid, a kid who's only context for what a marriage comes from social media and tiktok videos.
EXACTLY
Gross right
So many couples get married for the wedding instead of the marriage
Only women do that.
@@venM9 ha! We didn’t have a choice since neither of us had the money to do that. It was 1986, we had 6 months to plan. Had it in a fire hall, got my dress new from a bridal store that closed for a hundred bucks. A maid of honor, a best man, no huge wedding party. Suits, no tuxedos so they could use them another time. Whole wedding cost $1500, we had a DJ and a disco ball, dinner and beer/mixed drinks. It was awesome! Honeymoon for two nights in the poconos 💗
Too many couples* lol
Many get married for a marriage but maintaining a relationship is hard work personally, and interpersonally and they don’t have the tools. Rarely any one gets married for a wedding. I’m going to assume you’re not married
Maybe that’s true, but I have no idea how that relates to this call.
"Power couple" sounds like she just wants to look a certain way to outsiders.
Like it was constructed because it was the best economic thing to do, not because they were the best fit relationally.
For the gram. For sure.
I don't see what is wrong with her description of a power couple though? She said that it means continuous improvement, which is what healthy couples do.
@@somethingstuffles9084 maybe, but not always, some people are very happy where they are and with their stability, no need to constantly move the goal post to the next achievement.
DING DING DING!!!! Yes exacrlt.
People that laugh this much are always hiding a lot of hurt. Not foolin anyone.
Yup. Life ain't that funny
@@TheAustrianPainter87 But it ain't that serious either. Balance is key.
It's a coping mechanism.
Always
True. I’ve seen that before. There’s some sort of lying or lack of truth inside of laughing and silence as a response. It’s a weird way of getting others to go agree with them. But subconscious. I learned I can’t communicate well with people who laugh as a response because it’s extremely dis-genuine and oddly it has an air or dishonesty too.
I don't think there's anything wrong with dating with marriage in mind.
BUT.. another person is not a checklist.
It always disturbs me when people make it out to be a checklist.
I wanted to date to marry but when I met my husband, I wanted to marry him because I couldn't imagine my life without him. It wasn't just because I wanted to get married. That's why I broke off my past few relationships was because they weren't what I was looking for. When I met my husband, I honestly could not stand being away from him. I still can't we've been married for almost 12 years. When he works from home, unlike a child jumping up and down😂😂
Agree, but it can be a problem if you've decided to commit to marriage before you even get to know that person. I know lots of conservative christian couples who have bought into this "courtship for marriage" idea, and that essentially means an unspoken commitment to get married before they've even really gotten to know each other. In that case you've put the idea marriage ahead of loving that person.
But I definitely agree that you should be dating with marriage in mind, if that means, having an ear to the future and continually asking the question to yourself, "can I love this person for the rest of my life?", as opposed to dating because its fun in the moment.
Yeah that's the massive problem with putting god first. You're just hoping things will work out. @@chad1755
Maybe LDS ..they encourage young marriage :( and the girls have to have that goal and babies immediately..not good but it's expected and encouraged
“Power couple.” Words to run from.
gawd, so cringy....
Immediately made me think she puts way too much value on social media.
Power Couple = We both work, but he needs to make more money than me and engage in choreplay at a frequency I find acceptable without complaint. Otherwise he gets to see me powerwalk my way to divorce court.
Fellas run far away from any woman who utters this term. Treat her like you’ll get the itchy scratchy just by looking at her.
Right like wtf are they celebrities 😅
I remember my husband telling me about being a power couple while I was battling breast cancer and sat their bald. I was blown away. Come to find out..he was banging a 22 year old, kid.
When John tells the caller not to read the comment section, 99% of the time it’s because he knows the caller is the one at fault
It's more they are going to be roasted. the other person shares in the fault for being attached to them in the first place.
I don't think it's so much fault...it's just learning how to help/get help. She knew she's the one causing the issues in her marriage...knowing her husband said he's sick of her. And knowing she had a list and date to marry, etc. She was calling to find help/advice
I see advice from some conservatives about how you should date to marry and tell the person on the first date. If she grew up in a house hold like this and community then of course she will think that this is what she must do. If her parents put on a charade then she will think this is what you must do.
@@jeremygalloway1348 To know you want to get married is not the issue here. I mean, that is not how I would approach dating. But to each their own. he could have just said “no thank you” and left. Easy as that. But he stayed and he married her. Also, the things on her lists were “I want us to always better and improve ourselves and stay in communication of what we want” because she felt this is something that successful couples do. AND IT IS!!!
My mind is honestly blown with people knitpicking that she had a list when it is a very reasonable list from what I can tell.
If she felt frustrated because those things were not met, then she is clearly not the one with the issue. Furthermore “Go fix yourself” are not the words of a great communicator or one with much empathy.
He told her why when he said she was a bad communicator. All the likes and basicallys make her sound young, naive, and dim. My guess is she is none of those things. Hope she and her hubby can work it out.
Oh yikes! This woman! I was married at 18, my husband was 21. We had our son very young and my husband worked during the day. I worked week nights and I also worked some weekends. My husband also went to school in the evenings. We did this to avoid daycare. Now that in my eyes is a team and a power couple. We have been married over 36 years , of course ups and downs but well worth it.
congratulations. hard work
Beautiful story and a wonderful example of being a team. Thank you for sharing it with us. Unfortunately some marriages fail because they can't get through the difficult years of having young children, work, school and not having enough time with each other. It's so important to find a person who will get through everything with you just as you have. You're very blessed. ❤
Of course it is!! Power couples raise families with both effort and sacrifice. Congratulations!
@@aly_ko thank you. The first few years were tough financially but little things hikes, walks, or just movie night with friends that didn’t cost a lot of money was fun. Even now we don’t go on big vacations until it’s paid for ahead of time. and marriage at times is hard work, not all the time but even we can take each other for granted and we let each other know! We’re human.
Nothing replaces shared vision, developed in intimacy, not designed to be published on glossy paper
The fact that she said, "Power Couple" already tells me she wants a social media marriage.
It's about what their marriage looks like on the outside, rather than what actually makes her husband happy, what makes their marriage happy.
How they appear on the surface (to others) is more important to her than actually having a happy marriage on the inside.
This man is working a full time job and a side hustle to financially support her and yet she's still demanding more more more. She sounds immature and selfish.
If she keeps going at this rate, her husband is going to reach the end of his rope and leave her.
Totally agree. She doesn't seem to be taking anything very seriously either.
Exactly! The hint was social media and John didn’t catch it….
@@tfernandez6806 I think a lot of people look at "power couples" or whatever "happy" people they see and just assume they are truly happy. They feel jealous or simply sad that they don't have what they seem to have. That's how I think she meant, especially when she said divorce was a driver for why she had that list.
Kinda harsh tbh. And I don't think that's necessarily true. Sometimes people want happiness but just don't know how to do it right.
I agree, that is such a weird goal, to become a "power couple". I would think that is something that happens somewhat naturally if they support one another. People also need to realize what gets posted on social media are only the good times. I had a friend that would always post when her boyfriend would give her flowers (supposedly for no reason). After she finally got away from him, she told me that was his "sorry" after his beatings. Don't believe everything you see on social media.
He does a great job of being blunt and honest but does it in a very compassionate way.
Sometimes you need the cold heat truth put bluntly.
He’s very blunt and honest.
I agree. I don't always agree with his takes but his delivery is very compassionate and he's fairly good at reading between the lines of what callers are saying/feeling.
@@a.r.8954 I disagree. He's just trying to please his callers, so the harsh truth he's completely omitting, maybe doesn't even understand it. Instead he goes "you're perfect, and then you're not because nobody is perfect", that's just honey on the pig, just what the women want to hear.
I doubt anyone here in the comment section understands what the harsh truth actually is. And that's another harsh truth.
@@nightmareTomek
But you understand the harsh truth? 😂
My husband would say “why are you giggling when we are trying to have a serious life conversation?”
Tee-hee 😁
It is a nervous reaction . Per therapist friend.
Yes, it's disrespectful to say the least.
I shared elsewhere I wonder if others here agree or have different views of it pls comment. I’ve seen that before. There’s some sort of lying or lack of truth inside of laughing and silence as a response. It’s a weird way of getting others to go agree with them. But subconscious. I learned I can’t communicate well with people who laugh as a response because it’s extremely dis-genuine and oddly it has an air or dishonesty too.
Having lightness in difficult situations is so it doesn't go sideways. It's to keep the temperature down and help repair any tears that pop up. Look into John Gottmans work to learn more about that. I was so wrong to get upset at repair attempts i wasn't aware of.
It seems like everything John is telling her went in one year and directly out the other. “Oh okay *giggles*”
Yes, I had the same impression. She speaks like a child and did not convince me that she was really understanding what he was saying.
Laughing can just be a nervous reaction though, I wouldn’t read too much into it
Bet he loses it and does her in.
Right when I heard power couple it was a wrap for me. That screams “let’s show everyone on IG how amazing we are so I can inflate my ego.”
I dated someone like this for a couple of months, it was exhausting. She held me to a higher standard than she held herself to, even though her standards for herself were impossible to meet. If you're dating someone like this, you're going to get exhausted fast.
Exactly.
If a woman is incapable of selflessly sacrificing for your needs/wants (at times) it's unwise to stick with her. Any man or woman with the 24/7 "me me me" mentality is absolutely unsuitable for a serious relationship.
Thank you Benjamin, I hope your words reach as many who need them as possible. Paying forward in a great way!
🤗🌷Benjamin🌷🤗
@@thaimuayshoo1171 this is why my gf is put on pause without promotion to wife. She always thinks I should be the one who should always make the effort to go see her, at any cost, put my relatives on the back burner. Then she says, "When we're married, you can't go out to exercise past 8 pm."
"You can't have a dog," it's always a demand.
"My money is my money, your money is my money."
"My money is my money, your money is our money."
@@texan903 You sound like a jerk. “my gf is put on pause without promotion to wife”. Just break up with her so she can find a suitable mate. You know she wants marriage and it isn’t going to be you.
Her demands of her husband are too ridiculous. She wants him to be perfect it appears, what’s she bringing to the table? Because it just seems like a lot of immaturity and bullshit.
She only brings in her vag to the relationship. He's a workhorse for her. That's his only value to her. She doesn't care about him nor his happiness, she only wants him to work work work to provide her the life she feels she "deserve".
🎯
Right. I want to see his list! 😅
Her husband made a huge mistake marrying her. She’s not looking for a marriage, she’s looking for a lifestyle that’s he’s solely responsible for providing.
No wonder John told her not to look at the comments
He was with her for 9 years. He knew what he was getting into.
Sounds like today's modern-day women.
Sugar Daddy is the word for this gold digger.
so, a traditional marriage ...she doesn't sound like a traditional wife! she will need to watch a lot of video on how to be classy wife ect. She can fix it if she want we never know
"I'm not nagging." If you're silently conveying constant disapproval/disappointment, that can be even worse.
Yes. My hubby did that for a while. It took us some real time and work to get over our rough times. But he did this. Constant looks of disappointment.
THIS!
Ohhhhh!!!! 🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️
Mine does both. Then silent treatment for imaginary offenses and slights that don’t exist.
I could not ever be a therapist. I could not deal with people like a lot of these callers. God bless Dr John
Yeah it’s called empathy. It takes practice, you may want to try it.
@@LeavetheguntakethecannoliWhat a tone deaf comment! I'm sure you don't see the irony in your response but you're a massive hypocrite!
A hundred percent..the way he can manage his emotion and talk to them objectively..he is so good.
@@Leavetheguntakethecannoli I have plenty of empathy Einstein. But I’m human and I guarantee you Dr John is not always patient but he has to be because he’s being recorded. You should try common sense
She wants something superficial because she doesn’t know what a genuine marriage is. It doesn’t “look like” anything specific
Oh yeah. For sure. I hope she's figuring it out.
She said she “does social media”
That sums up the issue. She is superficial and now has a superficial marriage.
She’s a Cali chick, duh.
Y’all aren’t on RUclips right now? 😂😂 bro has 49 comments on this channel alone
Sounds like she follows that Morgan person and the two conservative Christian sisters that preach purity gospel and intentional marriage and it isn't working bc OF COURSE IT ISN'T.
She doesn't even get the word love..she groans when she hears the word love
She romanticized this whole relationship
damn right she did
I can force everything the way I want.
Romanticised it....with money and being powerful the foundation
Her tone of voice is sobering. She is not hearing what she wants from John and she is tuning him out. I don't think her marriage will succeed.
It's been 3 minutes and I am already sick of her. Her husband has a lot more patience than I do!
lol
😂😂😂
Me tooo 😂😂😂😂
😂
It didn't even take me 3 minutes!!!😂
I had a list before I met my husband. Never showed it to him. Been married 24years - great years.
Ooo mind sharing that list?
A list is important! Had I made one and stuck to it, I'd still be married.
Judging by her uh-huh, her silences, she really isn't liking what she's hearing but she's forced to self reflect for once.
she wanted Dr. Baloney to be on her side
@@cutehumor I see what you did there, super hilarious. My props to you. 😂
Molly sounds as mature as the average 12-year-old.
Her husband should have married someone more mature if that's not what he was looking for. No idea why people pick spouses that have issues they're not okay with then complain about it after.
Seriously. 1 minute info it and she’s already annoying as heck. The stupid giggling.
Um..ummmm..ummm like basically like um.. Hahaha.. she drove me crazy.
Yep her giggling is extremely annoying for starters
Yeah! Why is she laughing about it? I'd be devastated!
Wow!! She wants to be a power couple, however, she never mentioned anything about loving him. She giggles and laughs at everything. Oh my gosh...I'm surprised that he stayed as long as he has.
And what career is she pursuing to add to their finances, and to enrich their conversations? Vs, gimme gimme gimme, and baby pooped baby peed, and in 6 months I need to be pregnant again, move move I'm on a plan!
Well he’s with her 8 years so something definitely wrong with him too.
it’s his fault if he stayed
He was with her fir 6 year's then proposed....what's that about. They created 2 people post marriage. It's too late to be sick of her. He has to sit in it with her and they have to work on a compromise.
As a husband, I can’t imagine the pressure a woman would put on a man by a woman that wanted to be a “power couple”. Sort of fantasy land thinking and not someone that would be able to handle when life gets tough
this can go both ways
This call made me so sad! All the talk about striving and being a power couple, it just sounded so lonely and devoid of love and intimacy.
This is what divorce causes… Children who don’t have the slightest idea of what marriage is supposed to be… Very sad…
Parents staying in a dysfunctional marriage causes the same thing.
My parents were married until death.....and I have zero idea what marriage looks like.
@@laurie.caserta My parents were divorced. My stepfather walked on eggshells to keep my mother happy. She was demanding and did not respect him. I disliked my stepfather, disliked his not standing up to her, and disliked the way she behaved toward him. It wasn’t a good example.
@@genxx2724 Amen to that. My parents stayed together until my Mother's death. From the outside we were a perfect 10 family, from the inside I'd say we were honestly about a 7. Many good times, but also times when we were all walking on egg shells around my mother and my poor father agreeing aimlessly to keep the peace.
And self fulfilling prophecies.
Women always get told to just tell men what we want in a straightforward list, then get called demanding and annoying when we do. This is why women don't just tell you what they want. There is a more sensitive, empathetic way to do it, if both parties have the emotional intelligence to handle the hard conversations.
This
I've been waiting for it
No guys love clear expectations, but not if they're established in the context of an argument or emotional outburst. Usually what happens is people fail to set clear expectations and then get upset at their partner for failing to meet them and in the heat of the moment finally say it with their chest, but at that point it has so much emotional baggage attached to it that it falls on deaf ears.
I'm listening to this apparently one year too late to really have an active voice, but I'm sitting yelling at Dr. Deloney, "you aren't listening to her!" Honestly this is total cringe. I think he completely misunderstood everything she said.
@@howdidienduphere
I dunno…she seemed to genuinely learn some important things from this conversation with him.
3.5 minutes in, and I'm already sick of her. Props to the guy for making it 9 years. 🤢 This girl has some growing up to do. Hopefully they can go get some help.
Lol I truly believe she didn't get it as she sounded like she wasn't willing to accept her behavior is fueling her issues when Doc was calling her out.
My ex was similar. Very frustrating which is why she's an ex. I remember an argument where she said something along the lines of "well I see in movies...." I checked out shortly after lmao
Amazing to me someone is an adult/ married and still can’t distinguish fantasy from reality.
wait....what????? lol
@@LisaLisaCJ Yeah that was my reaction too lol
@nnna11 no thanks scammer
Oh no! It’s scary when you realise some people believe what they see on the screen as reality. I dislike obviously scripted reality shows. These shows need to be relabelled. Movies, well let’s not go there! You dodged a bullet.
😑 why do I feel like a lot of what he said went over her head.
I was looking for this comment. Cause it definitely did. Poor girl.
Of course she is laughing the whole time
Because it did go over her head.
She didn't explain properly so she is getting the wrong advice. That's why she sounds disappointed wit he Dr's analysis
because she needs, actual tools, not just the concept.....they both need therapy together.
I don't know why people are bashing her in the comment section, clearly she's having martial problems and is looking for help. Especially considering both their parents were divorced. There's no cheating or abuse mentioned either. They just aren't perfect and need some guidance from the looks of it.
I respect her a lot for calling up, and being open to hearing what John was saying. It made me feel happy for her when I heard those light bulbs go off. She has just been doing her best with what she knows, through her past experiences, and through bad advice. It's brave to be willing to admit you've made mistakes and be ready to make changes for the better. Well done.
I respect your opinion, but I disagree. She called John to have him agree with her and tell her she is right. That big fight where her husband told her to fix herself, my guess is he really laid it on her and her massive ego was hurt. You can tell by the change in her tone when Dr. John calls her out too.
By the end of the call, John was telling her straight up he didn’t believe her when she said she doesn’t nag. He had her figured out real quick. Textbook narcissist. Good luck to her and her husband.
I dont respect her she's garbage
0l0
@@ShaveItDown
@@ShaveItDown Nah. I think his advice is completely useless, and she went at some point "I see, okay..." after he said "you're perfect and you aren't and neither is he and that's what makes it blah blah blah"... It sounds to me like she has absolutely no idea what he's trying to say. Neither do I.
Whether she's actually nagging or not I think isn't important, important is that something's wrong with her behavior, the husband is sick of it and activated the timer on the marriage and she's feeling it. She knows he's not gonna change, she has to. Up till now she couldn't fathom her behavior being worse than his, but it's starting to get in her head slowly.
And the list for the power couple marriage, I think it's rather a list how not to get divorced like their parents. The fact that she handed it to him means she expected him to fix all the problems, while she was leaning back and refuted all accountability. It's like, the typical saying goes "two are needed for a good communication", but from what I see it's usually the woman who breaks the communication (for example with the silent treatment) and the man alone can't fix it. That's just as an example, apparently they do communicate, but she has to partake in solving other problems by adjusting her behavior.
The doc doesn't get this, I think. He didn't call her out, he was guessing. When he said marriage shouldn't be a job interview, that was somewhat decent, but I wonder whether it helped her at all.
This comment is in direct response Dr. John saying “do me a favor and don’t read the YouTh e comments.”
"You married your unfinished business" well damn...
When someone says they are sick of you..honey that's it!
I’ve believe that when Delony says “Do not read the RUclips comments” is when the caller DEFINITELY needs to read the RUclips comments.
I sense that too.
I guarantee you that Mollie has read the RUclips comments
Agreed...from a fellow Deftones lover.
I was thinking that when he said it.
Wonder if she'll read these comments
When her husband calls in saying he regrets marrying her everyone will say he is the bad person.
It sounds like they were a church couple and he's not the "church" guy she thought he was lol
When the husband calls in saying he regrets marrying her, John will tell him he's the problem and he's at fault and he needs to do better.
Sounds to me as though John is on his side, and most of the comments too
@@Austenfan177 this!!
@@Austenfan177 your on it! She is definitely a masculine idk why women think they have that much power to change someone lol
She's trying to look at marriage like it's a formula
She is a walking red flag. Everything is about her. She doesn’t want a real relationship, she wants Instagram posts to prove to everyone (who doesn’t care) how perfect her life is. She needs to grow up and so does he because he had to see this coming a mile away
She wants a man she can control, so she got a weak man who dutifully completes assigned tasks, cause she knows better. Be happy husband!
Why did he marry her?
What a sick, sick, sick man John Delony is. He tells people all the time...don't ready the youtube comments. Why? Because he's afraid someone will make a really good comment that doesn't conform to his agenda. So he wants to deprive his callers with some of the information. Shame on John!
@@youart9797 No, he tells them to avoid the comments section to avoid the trolls.
@@wijcik No, he tells them to avoid the comments because he's scared.
She sounds like she has anxiety and intimacy issues which could come from her childhood thus the need to control the outcome. Some divorces are absolutely traumatizing on kids. Some people get married before they have a chance to sort out these issues. Glad she called in to seek help. Best to you.
needed a break from her after 3 minutes let alone 3 years😂
Yeah, I was emotionally exhausted after listening to this. I pray I never cross paths with this girl.
😂😂😂 same here, I almost gave up and wanted to go to next video at 5:00 but Dr. Delonay called her out for being not a good communicator and finished the entire video
“We were pregnant.”
“I have a one-year-old baby girl.”
She has the pronouns backward. 🙄
“Power couple”. She doesn’t even know what that means. Does she think they’re Donald and Ivana Trump?
Gotta love that John tells guest not to read the RUclips comments lol
🤣
Dr John advises his callers all the time not to read the youtube comments? Why? because he wants to deprive his callers of all the information. Why does he want to do this? For control. That's why anyone wants to deprive someone who is reaching for help with additional information. What is John afraid of? Simple, losing control! Someone may have better advice than him? Sick, sick man. Shame on him!
@@youart9797 Well no. It's because the comments can be pretty brutal.
@@thaneros thaneros, thaneros, thaneros, newsflash --> life can be pretty brutal. Just last month I was talkig to someone who home schooled their son. The son then goes to college and finds out he can't make straight "A" like he did at mommy and daddies home school. Well, welcome to life Jr...sometimes its brutal.
@@thaneros Well yes. Maybe Tyler Shultz should have kept quiet since the truth about Elizabeth Holmes and Thaneros was too "brutal" for the world to hear. Shame on Tyler for speaking up and shame on youtubers who don't agree with Dr John. Elizabeth was right to tell people not to listen to her detractors and Dr John is right to tell people not to read the youtube comments.
I wish we could have some shows where couples call in.
I agree, this felt very surface level. We hardly know what was going on in their marriage from what was described.
She had real trouble getting to the point. It was “giggle, you know, giggle.” A lot of hurt under all that.
He probably wanted a good marriage. She wanted the perfect facade and a marriage that's more of a performance than a relationship. She's also hiding a lot of resentment and trauma - you can hear it in her nervous laughter.
She most definitely read the youtube comments lmao.
“Basically “, she read the comments.
😂😂😂
My husband and I dated for years before we married (did not live together.) We knew exactly what we were getting. There was nothing to change. It made life so much easier.
Her laughing and giggling hides a lot of anxiety…
My thoughts exactly.
Ugh… I think we’ve all known someone like this. I dated a man similar in that it was all about our image, how we appeared on the outside, how I could benefit his aspirations, how others saw us. Way too much “drive” and expectations for me. I’m not a society girl. Grew up on a farm in the country and the whole social scene is just too much for this girl. I thank God every single day that He sent my husband, a city boy throughout who gave up his sidewalk’s for woods, pastures, and a barn not to mention the kiddos! I am the luckiest woman alive, Blessed beyond comprehension.❤
Based on this comment, it sounds like you’re the one who is concerned with how internet strangers perceive your relationship.
If he didn't take "appearance" seriously, you wouldn't be with him to begin with! Sure, there is a fine balance of taking appearance with importance and not over do it or "keep up with Jonses", but neither extreme is good. "Nothing taken to the extreme is EVER good"
Im genuinely happy for you lady!
I don’t like list. When my husband left me list when we first got married 40 years ago, I intentionally did not do the list. I did start leaving him list. Guess what ? He didn’t like being left list either. No more lo do list!
I'm only 5 minutes in and I'm sick of her
I’m here trying to learn as a future mental health professional but LMAO! Me too 💀
She sounds very young and immature.
Every sentence she says, she wants what she wants "constantly" - that is her magic word. Oh boy!
“… .. …..ohhhhh.. okay…”
Something is telling me, she’s STILL not getting it! SMH
Lol yes
I dated a girl like that, she gave me a list. The problem is that they are attached to a perfect idea. Nothing in life is perfect. We need to see that our spouses are perfect as God made them, not as what we want to make them.
yeah but she has never seen a healthy marriage so she is overcompensating.
I would laugh and wouldn't even look at the list and tell them nicely to never give me a list ever again even for groceries.
@@kellharris2491 yeah, my parents marriage was bad too and, I been living on my own since I was a teen and rapidly realize that things don’t go as plan and is beautiful that they don’t. I keep my values intact and adapt my plans according to what life offers.
@@larissagonzales6075 hahaha! It was actually two girls that gave me a list. Some people get in love with an idea, not a person. Has happened to me 4 times with my last relationships. I’ve worked to be good husband and father material and women fall for what I can provide, not for me 😔
@@taurinenrgy
That's sad.
Hi Mollie. I think you also have to focus on what he does that shows he loves you and supports you instead of trying to mold him into your vision.
That "oh" after he said that the admiration of others will come over time by working on the self and relationship felt real. This is clearly a young person with little to no healthy IRL examples of love and partnership, falling for the societal "expectations" of them is understandable.
Her making this call shows she's ready to hear others and learn, which is all we can ask for.
The incessant giggling reflected immaturity; this is not a joke-they have at least one child together and owe it to that child to provide a safe, healthy home with 2 ADULT parents. She needs to grow up in a big way. A marriage is a partnership. BE a partner-try asking him what HE needs and what you can do better in the relationship, and then DO what he asks. It sounds like this man married an immature girl who focuses on her own needs only. I wish them well.
Not necessarily. Laughing can be a way to deal with intense or embarrassing confrontation. You've heard of a nervous laugh? Laughter can be a way to show that you're okay or that you're uncomfortable, but you are still feeling safe. Laughter was a way through evolution to convey to a group that the tense moment or accident didn't result in terrible consequences. It's to relieve tension. You know how you feel good after a good laugh after you've been feeling down?
Linking laughter to maturity is why so many adults live in such stressful lives. They need to laugh more to remind their body that they're okay, but society demands that everything is serious and every event is the worst thing to ever happen.
She might be too hurt, hiding pain or nervous. If she’s not any of these three things then I’d say she’s immature.
I have asked my husband so many times what he needs and he always says idk… so maybe she asked him and he doesn’t say anything. I communicate my needs but he won’t tell me his so that’s not a me problem that’s a him problem.
@@emmawilkey2345 Good point. I have a brother who's like that. Can't get anything out of him.
@@rustymozzy She verbalizes herself in a child like fashion. One could excuse some of the laughs and giggles if she sounded more mature when she spoke. But, the overall combo creates an impression of immaturity.
Praying for you and your husband's marriage.
It is over! Mainly because this poor little girl is crazy. He should file for divorce right now! Every man in the world would say it's justifiable.
@@youart9797 STOP..Anyone can change. Life is about learning. She just needs to plug into her relationship with Jesus. Period.
@@danilaroche1156 God never meddles with human affairs. You can pray, but all you'll get is a placebo feeling.
She has to get over her pride, realize her behaviors cause problems and, like the husband said, fix herself and those behaviors. The problem is that society preaches to women how perfect they are (the doctor as well, he couldn't tell her the harsh reality, instead he told her "you're perfect and you aren't because nobody is perfect") and she probably never considered her behavior to be lackluster, until the husband slapped her with the ultimatum. Now she knows she has to change, and he's not going to, yet she doesn't even know what she's doing wrong and has to call psychologists to find out.
And the docs advice was sh_t. Not the best prospects for that marriage.
@@nightmareTomek
"You can pray, but all you'll get is a placebo feeling." This is what all religious people need to read, tbh.
Mollie, in case you don't follow Dr. John's advice and you're reading this; you can do it! All relationships have their challenges, and we are cheering you on! It will take a lot of growing up, but you got this. :)
Okkkaaayyyyy 😂😂😂
When a man tells you he don’t want you gf or wife it’s what it is so she can do all that but she’ll b the only one participating 😂
I love this reply!!❤❤❤
Dr John advises his callers all the time not to read the youtube comments? Why? because he wants to deprive his callers of all the information. Why does he want to do this? For control. That's why anyone wants to deprive someone who is reaching for help with additional information. What is John afraid of? Simple, losing control! Someone may have better advice than him? Sick, sick man. Shame on him!
@@youart9797 why can't you start your own comment? Why do you have to be negative on mine 😂
OH goodness, harsh comments. She was reaching out for clarity and who in the world would not be nervous, with their voice raising to unnatural octaves, if you were putting yourself out there and knew you were being recorded while discussing a very, very private matter? These callers are brave. Mollie sounded as if she were very willing to try a new approach and rethink their negative patterns. That is a good example for everyone listening to the call. She sounded young, and most people have a mental marriage checklist until age 30 or so.
Exactly. Who wouldn't be nervous when calling into to a show like this? My voice sounds younger than my age and I would be so nervous too.
Not harsh at all. John speaks the truth and he has to get to the core of the problems quickly. Which he, amazingly, did. I hope Molly takes his wisdom to heart.
Yes. And we can also be annoyed by young women who need to grow up and get serious and stop with the teen ways of coping.
I'm annoyed by the fake Ahas,and constant not understanding what John says. She's immature, superficial, and not thinking. I suspect the marriage counselors saw she had a iron set superficial mindset, he will provide, be handsome and we will " show well" as a couple. So they ba ked off saying pleasantries, because nothing was going to sink into that concrete. She wants to be an influencer, and her husband is longing for neat, potatoes and a real life.
I got sick of her from the first 3min...laughing not being direct and answering the questions geeezzz.
Right first 3mins we could of wrapped up the whole thing haha
I’m only 2:03 mins in and had to pause and come to the comments. Idk if I can go on lol
YES 😂
She sounds very immature.
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Wow, this young woman is a piece of work...
Married for 3 and together for 8 years total told me all I needed to know. Men don’t need 5 years to marry you when they really want to.
Maybe they started dating in college or high school. It's definitely possible if the met each other at a young age.
Same thing I was thinking ✔️
I understand why her husband is sick of her. He deserves a medal for enduring this shallow trainwreck of a woman for years.
“I want us to always be improving ourselves” but it sounds like she hasn’t even gotten started on that…
19.7 years
I dont feel bad. Men have to imprint. He could have left her alone. He needed to mark his territory though so no one else could have her.
That is harsh . At least she is trying. You don't know what she has gone though is childhood.
It just goes to show that people these days only want the status of being married, they don't actually WANT to be married...
I think a lot people see marriage as good but don’t know how. Don’t yet have the skills to communicate well, serve and love. People come with a lot of hurt and dysfunction and then get to practice improving on eachother. I hope they can sort it out.
On a slight tangent, this is what happens when pastors and other church leaders start taking on marriage and other counseling. While they may have faith and mean well, they frequently aren't qualified or have the knowledge to provide effective counseling. This is especially true when there is trauma or complex mental health issues. Or, in this case a woman with underdeveloped communication skills and pretty serious control issues.
Bingo!!!
Yep. This is part of the reason why my pastor stopped doing counseling many years ago. He'll give wonderful life advice but once it gets past a certain level he'll recognize and acknowledge they need help from a professional.
Yeah,NOOOOO to religious leaders being counselors....it can't be about humans relations if it's Bible based...get a therapist
I told me husband that i was saving myself for marriage and that dating for me was a way too get to know someone not a way to get layed. I think that's a better way to frame the "dating for marriage" conversation. I tell my kids, when you're ready to fall in love and get married, then you can date. Save yourself for marriage and use dating as a way to get to know people and treat then well.
I bet you anything she's reading ALL the youtube comments 🤣
She's focused on the end goal without knowing how to get there, but she's really confident she has the answers. She needs a new blueprint and ask her husband questions on what he's fed up with with details.
Dr John advises his callers all the time not to read the youtube comments? Why? because he wants to deprive his callers of all the information. Why does he want to do this? For control. That's why anyone wants to deprive someone who is reaching for help with additional information. What is John afraid of? Simple, losing control! Someone may have better advice than him? Sick, sick man. Shame on him!
@@youart9797 or...here me out,we don't do this for professionally, and have not been many cases as him.
@@sudhanvakashyap297 or...now here me out, he is projecting his own feelings on her. I don't want to disclose too much personal information on youtube, but I never said that I didn't do this professionally and I never said that I haven't been in the profession for over 17 years and possibly have heard more cases then him. I don't think he gives good advice and I think he is a smug man who truly thinks he is helping people but his training is clouded too much by his religious beliefs.
@@youart9797 when they call here,they have seen the snow,felt confident in his ability and then called him,knows his background.
@@youart9797 I may not always agree with his advice(and I'm no professional--just a book reader on this subject from time to time)---but to say his training is clouded by religious beliefs is a bit of an overreach. If anything, his religious beliefs take too much of a back-seat. He's like a generic believer that barely mentions the Bible or anything in it on this show.
She is clueless about what a real marriage is. You can tell she's not really listening to what he's saying. Who marries to be a "power couple"?! That's a superficial thing to say and her immaturity will lead the demise of her marriage.
She sounds very immature.
I just love that she cared enough to ask for help, it's hard letting someone see you and tell you exactly what they see in you. She received the advice and the observation like a champ. I wish them well.❤🙏🏽🇿🇦
She clearly has good intentions, but maybe her husband is overwhelmed with her demands. That’s what I’m getting by listening to this call.
@@Ryan-wx1bi I don’t know where in the comment you picked that up but this person clearly said “maybe her husband is overwhelmed with HER demands”
@@Ryan-wx1bi You might want to read my comment again.
“Hhhhiiiii Jjooohhnnn”
I’m sick of her too
She sounds exhausting!!!!
This was such a great call. He opened her eyes so much. I hope she listens!
I dunno, she seemed to just go along with what was said not really letting any of his words truly sink in
Poor girl, it seems like she was in such a hurry to get married her goal was just to make it to the alter as fast a possible and figure out the details later on.
@@johnny9072 na... he got through. She kept getting quiet and saying, "yeahhhhhhh"
Us women can talk! That silence and agreement means the argument is over.
Narcissists don’t listen.
I honestly got the impression she wasn't even paying attention. There was a point where he had spoke for a while then paused... and in the middle of dead air she goes, "yeah". The girl is a full blown narcissist. She didn't get anything from the call lol
I hope it’s not in a year sitting in an empty apartment with a baby that she realizes the severity of her marriage and what’s going on. I feel for them both
*Caller:* _"I can't land a rich Chad so I settled and married a guy who is not a rich Chad and I'm now riding him, demanding him to provide me the life I feel I deserve. I don't financially contribute anything to our marriage but I have a list of demands for my workhorse husband so he can work harder for the life I envision for myself because it's all about me and what I want"._
Bingo
You used the word Chad 🤢
Single dude who watched to much F&F
@@lav7161
I'm a girl. Not a dude.
@@terriesmith2616 yeah lol
Incel comment @terri smith
It’s so hard when you don’t know what a healthy marriage is supposed to be like in the nitty gritty everyday details. She cobbled together an idea of what it’s supposed to be like.
I think the desire for the power couple means to be United and making a positive difference. She experienced the opposite with divorced parents. That need for control so that doesn’t happen to her, I get it. I hope she can let go of the control so she can enjoy him. It’s probably going to be hard, but worth it.
She said “I want to be a Power Couple. So basically, I want someone who is beside me. I want us to always better and improve ourselves and I want to stay in constant communication of what we want”.
To be honest, that sounds exactly what a healthy relationship looks like.
Sure, there is always a discussion to be had to what level “improving oneself” has to be taken. But in essence, it’s not a crazy demand for a marriage. Heck, someone who values growth and communication are MY expectations of a healthy relationship! I don’t get how she is so harped on!
@@sarahtaavetti That line, that both should constantly improve themselves, sounds theoretically good for a relationship. In practice people don't apply it the way they phrase it, and it fails.
Example is communication, it's also often said that "a good relationship needs good communication". But what I observe is that women are the ones who destroy the communication when they are angry as a form of emotional punishment for their husband. Theory sounds good, in practice it's to hell in a handbasket.
To me it sounded like the power couple wasn't important for her. Instead when she handed him the list, she expected him to make the relationship work and renounced accountability at the same time. That caused her to not expect her behavior to cause problems, until she realized it does when the husband gave her the ultimatum to fix herself. She knew then that he's not gonna change, she has to. She didn't even know how, she had to call psychologists.
Women are like this quite often, they are being taught by society that they're angels, so they don't have to learn to control their behaviors and emotions, their bad behavior often even gets excused especially when they're on their period. Even if there's criticism directed at them, they can deflect it with their emotions (by being angry and offended, or hurt). A survey has shown that women who love their husbands hurt them emotionally anyway and on a daily basis without realizing it, and to top it off, they don't even understand it if it's explained to them, unless a very female language about feelings is used.
Since you're both women (the OP as well), you might get offended from what I just said. But it's really not my intention to offend, so I hope you think about these words, too.
@@nightmareTomek I get what you are saying in essence: it’s easy to just shove the expectations and accountability to someone else and make them work it out for you.
However, that whole sexist prejudice around it is just some made up bullshit in your head man! Some people, and yes, some of them may be women, are like that, but you cannot generalize that.
There is a study that shows that women who love their husbands emotionally hurt them and if you try to explain it to them they are too dumb to understand? Sure, buddy. That does not sound made up AT ALL.
I get what you are trying to say, but by generalizing a behaviour to all women, you automatically assume, men dont do that and consequently are less likely to discuss the matter with an open mind. You should really reflect on your views on gender roles. Who knows , maybe you learn a thing or two!
@@sarahtaavetti I just learn that I'm right again, as always. You're a woman, ergo you are offended when hearing certain criticism. That's just what I experience. If I were a 6 figure income 6" dude that you would need to convince of a relationship, you'd listen. Otherwise you don't. Unfortunately it's a criticism for women, they need to hear it so they can improve upon, but instead they're being offended and dismiss it on the spot. They can call the critic a misogynist and done. That's a real problem with women today and not a sexist prejudice, you just want to frame it that way to dismiss the criticism and continue with your bad behavior and continue to not accept it's existence.
It's not a study, it's a survey. I've read about it years ago, I stumbled on it accidently while looking for something else, and now I can't find it again. Very niche. But there have been articles from women who realized what they were doing, maybe google "emotionally abusing my husband", if you're not completely close-minded. I'm observing the same thing, women get mad and they hurt others emotionally, and no, they don't seem to understand it. Instead I as a child was already told by other men to accept this female behavior with the argument that we can't change it anyway. There are female youtube channels talking about how society is tolerating and excusing bad female behavior. That's why you have a hard time seeing it, you've been taught from a young age that acting out as a woman is completely fine, since you can have your period. It's a real problem, sexist or not.
If you'd research it for a while, you'd see that I'm correct.
@@nightmareTomek so if I agree with you, you are correct, And if I don‘t agree with you, then you are also correct? That sounds like an argument a 5 year old has with their mother.
Maybe you should google confirmation bias instead of regurgating the content of your latest alpha man podcast episode. If you are not completly close-minded, that is.
Also „very niche“ surveys are not very representitive of the general public, are they? … that’s why they are niche.
When he says "don't read the comments" that's for me as well. I lose faith in humanity when I see how mean people can be.
How are pastors used as counselors? Are they trained the same as a therapist? I don’t think so.
Yes, they can be.
Weird how this call flipped around on the caller. I feel like tons more information is truly needed from both sides to make a better judgement to help tho.
I loved the Spice Girls comment and busted out loud laughing at work!
Some callers have me banging my head on the floor
I am so grateful to have discovered your channel Dr John! I learn a lot from watching your videos.
She's living in her head and forcibly projecting expectations on her husband based on her idealized vision of their marriage. Not a great way to start an enjoyable marriage when it's driven by a biological clock.
To be fair, she isn't projecting anything. She told him straight up what she wanted! From the jump!
She is the posterCHILD for the TikTok generation
Something tells me that this woman's life experience is derived entirely from social media.
She sounds like a nightmare. There is hope that her marriage can turn around; however, it is going to be a difficult and long journey.
She sounds like she's 15
I just LOVE John's personality!!! SO AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
She wanted an actor to fill a role, not a human with feelings. Poor children.
Thats why you don’t go to your pastor for counseling, go to a real therapist people
Thank you. Can we shout this from the mountain top?? Go to an impartial therapist or marriage counselor for assistance.
Probably a better idea to just divorce than see a therapist.
There was no comment on what she is doing for work. I had been there and done that. He is frustrated he is busting his. It and she is taking everything and not giving anything back. I am near certain of it
I hope the best for this family. ❤
Sometimes When people call you childish and selfish even when you are over thirty, when they get sick of you after 5 minutes and you think to yourself; I don't see the problem, I am always positive and have all these fabulous plans, they just have to go along with it, it can be helpful to make sure you are not affected by adult ADHD. When the husband advised her to go to therapy and fix herself - That might be a good advise for her - and the kids. I hope they make it 🙌🏼
John should really stop saying he's "not good at this", it's not an effective way to calm down callers. If anything it should make someone more nervous to be vulnerable.
Exactly. It’s over said now. And it means he’s not being authentic.
Social media influencers taught me I
should and you should and we should,
STOP SHOULDING ALL OVER YOURSELF!
2 minutes of influencer scripts are not real.