Thank you for another good talk. When I think of what my Mum & Dad and millions of others who did or did not survive WW2 it helps put my own life experiences into perspective.
Feeling this today. What comes up for me is intergenerational trauma - my Dad passing his own parental abuse stuff onto me. He wouldn't have thought that he was hurting anybody, that was just the way he was taught to parent by his own Dad! But naming it as abuse and violence can be very liberating, once the initial pain works itself out. Great topic. Very important. D
Yeah, intergeneration trauma, passing it down and on, down and on. And getting older and realizing, maybe it didn't belong to my parents any more than it belongs to me -- or, maybe it belongs to me as much as it belonged to them. Or something. Deep topic, thank you.
Really appreciate your pragmatic approach to this. Yes, sitting on the cushion might make you aware of the problem is, but it's still up to you to feel the feelings, process them, and potentially do something about it! I've heard too many teachers approach this topic and it turns straight into spiritual bypassing, ie, meditate enough and all negative emotions will disappear.
I just discovered your material this week. Since I too was raised in a “less-than-loving” Christian home, your material speaks to me. Next time I get paid, I look forward to subscribing to your Patreon. Thank you.
I remember to have felt the most intense explosions of emotion during zazen and not out of clear sky. It was as if I had spoilt the complete zazen, could stand up immediately and smash all I get my hands on into pieces. That's what it was like sometimes. But I also had or have to deal with a kind of self-hatred remembering what I have done to other beings in the past. And little by little I found out that zazen is about letting go of such explosions. Not avoiding them and not feeding them. We all have something to take onto the cushion which is hard to deal with. Zazen cannot "heal" it in the way a therapist does if he is successful. "Zazen is good for nothing", but it can surely shift the perspective from which we see our lifes, but this is not a voyage which leads to a goal within a certain time. The Buddha-way is endless. Anyone who practices, no matter how long, will experience anger, regret and grief during zazen from time to time. But if zazen works, the suffering will diminish.
It's true, people do the best they can with where they are and what they have. Knowing this is helpful for forgiveness. If we knew all the details about why someone did what they did it would be easier to forgive. "Tout comprendre c'est tout pardonner" (understanding everything is to forgive everything)
Such a relevant topic, I just finished a long retreat, 20% of which I spent ruminating, boiling, etc... As for fathers, a few years back I still had a feeling he owes me at least an explanation. After we talked he cut ties with me, haven't seen him since then. He's a buddhist and renowed psychotherapist, so he has to be right, correct? So yeah, he gave me a lot of material to struggle with on my cushion. The sad thing is how much such material burdens and slows down in life.
What a serendipitous time for this video. Oh.. wait... we're always thinking of tough crap like this. And why you getting down on your shirt? Looks good, man; enough already. ;)
Best description of what happened to me on the cushion when i began meditating. I had no formal teacher so i thought i lost my way. Even better was your discussion saying Zen is a wisdom tradition not a therapy method. I wish i know that much early during these years of practice. Our western culture doesn't understand the Eastern wisdom philosophy of Zen. I surely did not which caused the emotional maze i entered to be a place i would not wish upon anyone unprepared. Thanks for the support.
@@zenconfidential25 thanks for the reply. I still have anger erupting during my regular day. I still cannot get it to subside. Brad Warner mentioned your channel a while ago so I checked it out. I am glad I did.
Anger is a big one. It's an energy as Johnny Rotten said. It's ok. Use it. Sit with it, look at it, feel it, watch what it transforms into. Weird, but it always transforms when it's seen. Usually maybe into insight.
deep breathes , TU for the Q. to the participant & for your A. Shozan-sama. For what it's worth , my 2 cents : After 30 + yrs . of practice , and 65 years of working with / grieving / accepting/ processing /raging," forgiving / yadayada ,with the off the charts ACE { Adverse Childhood Experiences }what could I add that would help now? this : Zazen won't do it all. There are degrees of trauma that MUST HAVE expert care . And if you can't remember much that's a red flag. Not regular therapy but trauma specialists . zazen is great for some of us to dissociate in, which is comfy BUT ... CAN be "spiritual bypassing" and it will cont. to impact your life, if not met, in a SAFE environment. I've used zazen , unknowingly ,to dissociate for some decades. Don't waste your precious life !! Gassho and good luck and don't quit.
remember to not to surround your self with your self. Move on back 2 squares. Send your instant karma to me. Initial it with love and care. YES !!! Don't surround yourself with yourself
Thank you for another good talk. When I think of what my Mum & Dad and millions of others who did or did not survive WW2 it helps put my own life experiences into perspective.
Yes that pov does put things into perspective.
Feeling this today. What comes up for me is intergenerational trauma - my Dad passing his own parental abuse stuff onto me. He wouldn't have thought that he was hurting anybody, that was just the way he was taught to parent by his own Dad! But naming it as abuse and violence can be very liberating, once the initial pain works itself out. Great topic. Very important. D
Yeah, intergeneration trauma, passing it down and on, down and on. And getting older and realizing, maybe it didn't belong to my parents any more than it belongs to me -- or, maybe it belongs to me as much as it belonged to them. Or something. Deep topic, thank you.
Really appreciate your pragmatic approach to this. Yes, sitting on the cushion might make you aware of the problem is, but it's still up to you to feel the feelings, process them, and potentially do something about it! I've heard too many teachers approach this topic and it turns straight into spiritual bypassing, ie, meditate enough and all negative emotions will disappear.
Yeah spiritual bypassing is really easy to teach when you're a spiritual teacher. It almost goes with the territory unfortunately!!
I just discovered your material this week. Since I too was raised in a “less-than-loving” Christian home, your material speaks to me. Next time I get paid, I look forward to subscribing to your Patreon. Thank you.
Thank you my dear friend, you made my day.
I remember to have felt the most intense explosions of emotion during zazen and not out of clear sky. It was as if I had spoilt the complete zazen, could stand up immediately and smash all I get my hands on into pieces. That's what it was like sometimes. But I also had or have to deal with a kind of self-hatred remembering what I have done to other beings in the past. And little by little I found out that zazen is about letting go of such explosions. Not avoiding them and not feeding them. We all have something to take onto the cushion which is hard to deal with. Zazen cannot "heal" it in the way a therapist does if he is successful. "Zazen is good for nothing", but it can surely shift the perspective from which we see our lifes, but this is not a voyage which leads to a goal within a certain time. The Buddha-way is endless. Anyone who practices, no matter how long, will experience anger, regret and grief during zazen from time to time. But if zazen works, the suffering will diminish.
Thank you, these are true words.
It's true, people do the best they can with where they are and what they have.
Knowing this is helpful for forgiveness.
If we knew all the details about why someone did what they did it would be easier to forgive.
"Tout comprendre c'est tout pardonner" (understanding everything is to forgive everything)
Ah these are words I needed this morning, thank you.
Such a relevant topic, I just finished a long retreat, 20% of which I spent ruminating, boiling, etc...
As for fathers, a few years back I still had a feeling he owes me at least an explanation. After we talked he cut ties with me, haven't seen him since then. He's a buddhist and renowed psychotherapist, so he has to be right, correct?
So yeah, he gave me a lot of material to struggle with on my cushion. The sad thing is how much such material burdens and slows down in life.
Phew that's a lot, hard to totally sever contact with a parent. Only 20%, though?? I'd say that's a victory!!!!
What a serendipitous time for this video. Oh.. wait... we're always thinking of tough crap like this. And why you getting down on your shirt? Looks good, man; enough already. ;)
Thanks my friend! And you can have that shirt if you want it! ;-)
Best description of what happened to me on the cushion when i began meditating. I had no formal teacher so i thought i lost my way. Even better was your discussion saying Zen is a wisdom tradition not a therapy method. I wish i know that much early during these years of practice. Our western culture doesn't understand the Eastern wisdom philosophy of Zen. I surely did not which caused the emotional maze i entered to be a place i would not wish upon anyone unprepared. Thanks for the support.
Thank you my friend. I hope your practice is going well now.
@@zenconfidential25 thanks for the reply. I still have anger erupting during my regular day. I still cannot get it to subside. Brad Warner mentioned your channel a while ago so I checked it out. I am glad I did.
Anger is a big one. It's an energy as Johnny Rotten said. It's ok. Use it. Sit with it, look at it, feel it, watch what it transforms into. Weird, but it always transforms when it's seen. Usually maybe into insight.
deep breathes , TU for the Q. to the participant & for your A. Shozan-sama. For what it's worth , my 2 cents : After 30 + yrs . of practice , and 65 years of working with / grieving / accepting/ processing /raging," forgiving / yadayada ,with the off the charts ACE { Adverse Childhood Experiences }what could I add that would help now? this : Zazen won't do it all. There are degrees of trauma that MUST HAVE expert care . And if you can't remember much that's a red flag. Not regular therapy but trauma specialists . zazen is great for some of us to dissociate in, which is comfy BUT ... CAN be "spiritual bypassing" and it will cont. to impact your life, if not met,
in a SAFE environment. I've used zazen , unknowingly ,to dissociate for some decades. Don't waste your precious life !! Gassho and good luck and don't quit.
True words, thank you!!
remember to not to surround your self with your self. Move on back 2 squares. Send your instant karma to me. Initial it with love and care. YES !!! Don't surround yourself with yourself
Lyrics! I couldn't remember where I had heard these words before… And then I started singing them in my head! Thank you.
ANGER!!! That is a seriously European-looking bed.
Ah, the bed. It ruined the shot!!
Looking from England (part of a small island off the coast of Europe) it appears to be a calm Zen like bed.
Any plans to start putting the episodes on spotify? Would be convenient to listen to while commuting ;)
Hey that's a good idea! I need to look into that, thank you my friend.
I'm sure I would deal with my anger and sorrow like a soldier if I got my butt on the cushion but I seem to just sit at the computer all day long
Yeah I hear ya. I’m at it right now!