is there not a difference between being lonely and being unhappy while literally alone. A person in an on going romantic relationship riding home ALONE on a bus is NOT alone for the sake of this conversation while a person whom is single but in a large group of people at a party still IS "alone" right. Isn't the issue whether a person has a romantic partner or not not whether someone happens for the moment to be by oneself. People are often lonely even in a group of people because they do not have meaningful relationships And there is further difference between having meaningful relationships with friends and meaningful relationships with romantic partners. A person with many friends can still be lonely if the quality of the relationships are not that great or neutral or just don't serve the same desires (since you don't like to use the term needs) as a romantic partner would. So The desire for a romantic partner seems to be completely independent to whether you are more or less likely to enjoy solitary activities vs activities with groups of people. I imagine people whom desire to have a romantic partner are preoccupied with not having the kind of partner and relationship they desire and the distress is over the experience of deprivation of certain kinds of intimate activities, as well as the emotional and physical connection (intimacy) you can only get from an intimate partner that you cannot by definition get when you are by yourself or with a group of people or even with your close friends, the kind of experiences largely responsible for the continuation of the species and its not just the "need to be loved" its the need to BE loving to love and connect with a partner which I imagine if healthy a person would lose no sense of self esteem but would nevertheless be unhappy without given happiness and self esteem are not the same thing either "Humanity is coming full circle forward to patterns of romance and marriage our forebears expressed a million years ago. Childhood infatuations, a series of teenage romances,. marriage in one's twenties. sometimes another love affair or wedding in midlife, and romance into one's golden years. Romantic love is deeply threaded into our human spirit. If humanity survives on this planet another million million years this primordial mating force will still prevail" Helen Fisher Ph. D "Why We love" Fisher, H (2005) "Why we love: The nature and chemistry of romantic love" Henry Holt and Company New York
Expecting love from others is a sure downfall. Self love is the key. Great message and thanks.
Thanks! david
is there not a difference between being lonely and being unhappy while literally alone. A person in an on going romantic relationship riding home ALONE on a bus is NOT alone for the sake of this conversation while a person whom is single but in a large group of people at a party still IS "alone" right. Isn't the issue whether a person has a romantic partner or not not whether someone happens for the moment to be by oneself.
People are often lonely even in a group of people because they do not have meaningful relationships
And there is further difference between having meaningful relationships with friends and meaningful relationships with romantic partners.
A person with many friends can still be lonely if the quality of the relationships are not that great or neutral or just don't serve the same desires (since you don't like to use the term needs) as a romantic partner would. So The desire for a romantic partner seems to be completely independent to whether you are more or less likely to enjoy solitary activities vs activities with groups of people.
I imagine people whom desire to have a romantic partner are preoccupied with not having the kind of partner and relationship they desire and the distress is over the experience of deprivation of certain kinds of intimate activities, as well as the emotional and physical connection (intimacy) you can only get from an intimate partner that you cannot by definition get when you are by yourself or with a group of people or even with your close friends, the kind of experiences largely responsible for the continuation of the species and its not just the "need to be loved" its the need to BE loving to love and connect with a partner which I imagine if healthy a person would lose no sense of self esteem but would nevertheless be unhappy without given happiness and self esteem are not the same thing either
"Humanity is coming full circle forward to patterns of romance and marriage our forebears expressed a million years ago. Childhood infatuations, a series of teenage romances,. marriage in one's twenties. sometimes another love affair or wedding in midlife, and romance into one's golden years. Romantic love is deeply threaded into our human spirit. If humanity survives on this planet another million million years this primordial mating force will still prevail" Helen Fisher Ph. D "Why We love"
Fisher, H (2005) "Why we love: The nature and chemistry of romantic love" Henry Holt and Company New York
I’m really gonna buy that book
When the farmer Grandfather said to the child "don't let anyone put you down", did that basically mean "don't let anything in life get you sad?"
It means: Dont let anyone make you feel bad about yourself.
I’m really gonna buy that book