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053: Ask David - “I don’t feel like doing it!” Quick Cure for Procrastinators
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- Опубликовано: 25 окт 2017
- A listener named Benjamin asks about procrastination. He wrote:
“The live therapy with Marilyn was very interesting - like other listeners, I was impressed by her character and strength.
“Towards the end of this most recent podcast, you were musing on what topics to cover in future podcasts. I would love to hear about how you treat people suffering from chronic laziness ("Do Nothingism"). In particular, there seems to be a strong potential of a Catch-22 with Process Resistance: The patient cannot find the motivation to do anything, yet they have to carry out the process (do the homework) to improve.
“Even worse, in "Feeling Good", you categorize "Do Nothingism" into around 10 different categories, and suggest a different approach for each one. What should a lazy person do, who identifies with multiple categories, but is already starting to feel overwhelmed at the prospect of doing one of those activities, let alone five of them?
“I would love to hear David's thoughts on this!”
David and Fabrice begin by thanking Benjamin, and David emphasizes how helpful and inspiring it is to receive specific questions like this, which makes it easy to create a (hopefully) informative and interesting podcast.
David says that his thinking about the treatment of procrastination has changed greatly since he wrote Feeling Good. One big change is that he no longer tries to “help” individuals who procrastinate, since this will cause them to continue to procrastinate, and the failure will now be the failure of the therapist, who’s “helping” wasn’t good enough.
Instead, David outlines a multi-step approach, based on someone who has ten years of unfiled papers that have piled up in his office, so that by now 15 feet of desk space is completely covered by piles of papers roughly one foot high. Fabrice plays the role of the resistant patient, and David plays the role of the therapist.
The steps include:
Paradoxical Agenda Setting: David asks, “The procrastination seems to be working for you. Why would you want to change? Let’s make a list of all the benefits of procrastination, and all the reasons NOT to change.” David emphasizes that the patient has to convince the therapist that this is something he really does want to change. It’s NOT the therapist’s role to help or to convince the patient to change!
Miracle Cure Question: What kind of help would you like in today’s session? Most patients say they need help with motivation. David declines to offer this, explaining that it isn’t on the therapeutic menu today-only the “Blue Plate Special!” The patient must agree to begin working on the filing in spite of having no motivation.
David also explains the underlying concept behind this strategy: most procrastinators are waiting for motivation, but that never works. You’ll be waiting forever, because you’re NEVER going to feel like doing all that filing! You aren’t entitled to motivation!
Productive individuals know that action comes first, and motivation comes second.
Specificity: What time would you like my help in overcoming your procrastination? The patient’s requests for help yesterday or tomorrow are declined by the therapist, so they settle on 6 PM today.
Little Steps for Big Feats: Let’s list the first five things you would need to do tonight at 6 PM, making sure that every step can be completed in 15 to 30 seconds. They list these steps:
Walk into my office Choose one pile to start working on Pick up the top piece of paper on the pile Put it into a blank manila file folder Label the file folder Let’s Be Specific: David asks if Fabrice needs help with Step 1? Step 2? Etc. Fabrice finally admits he can do these five steps.
Five Minute Rule: David asks if Fabrice will agree to do these five steps between 6 PM and 6:05 PM, and if he will agree to work on his filing for ONLY those five minutes. At the end of the five minutes he has completed 100% of the assignment. The rationale is that if Fabrice tries to do it all, he’ll get so overwhelmed that he won’t do anything. But if he agrees to ONLY five minutes, that will be do-able. And if he surprises himself, and gets motivated to do more, he can, be he only gets credit for the first five minutes.
Problem - Solution List: David asks Fabrice to put a line down the middle of a piece of paper, from top to bottom, and list all the problems that will get in the way at 6 PM, and then to list convincing solutions to each problem in the right-hand column. Fabrice lists two problems: 1. I won’t feel like it. And 2. Traffic might be heavy, so I might not get home by 6 PM.
“I Stubbornly Refused” Technique: David asks Fabrice to agree to an unusual phone call at 6:05 PM!
TIC - TOC Technique: David plays the role of Fabrice’s “Task-Interfering Cognitions” (TICS) that will tempt him to procrastinate, and asks Fabrice to play the role of the...
This episode is one of the best! I have adhd but feels like there is a solution to my procrastination problem.
This podcast made me crack up hard. I could pick up the roles or “games” Fabrice and David were playing on each other and how each managed to get around being “cornered” by the other with each others’ intended outcomes for the roles each was playing. They both did it like pros to me.
fabrice kills it, he pushes david so much! loved it
Been practicing many of the tools from Feeling Good and then Feeling Great for a number of years now, always found Little Steps for Little Feet very helpful! In my experience I am capable of putting a tremendous amount of paralyzing pressure on myself when I consider getting "things" done; I think of the whole nine yards all at once!
But that pressure is significantly reduced when I can say to myself "hey, instead of thinking of the whole project how about how much can I get done in 15 minutes?" Things can snowball from a single 15 minute session of productivity. Really breaks the overwhelmed paralysis wall. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step, right?
Thank you for sharing your insights Dr. Burns and Fabrice for the hosting.
Thanks so much! Warmly, david
I love how Dr Burns and Fabrice role play! I learned a lot. This is very lively, enjoyable and fun to listen to! Thank you for your wonderful work making a difference!
I'm literally powering through my to do lists since Ive been listening to this
thanks, Chrissi! david
It's interesting how reverse psychology works. When you find yourself arguing mentally on your own behalf, that's a good sign.
Fabrice was hilarious in this podcast acting like a stubborn patient
Thanks! david
One suggestion to therapists is to explain why you are not giving any ideas or suggestions BEFORE you start the back and forth because I would be really upset if I needed help with procrastination and the therapist kept saying maybe we should work on something else. I dont see myself as broken.i see myself as stuck and i need help seeing the other options so if i was left to keep spinning my mental wheels when I went in for help… i would be really dissapointed.
Please do another podcast on the tic toc techniqu.sounded great 👍
As I sit, scrolling on RUclips, deep in procrastination.🙄
Thanks, Flea Hr! Well said! d
This is pure gold. Thanks!
Thanks! david
David I really appreciate your work and I'm finding it very helpful, got your book for my kindle too! Thank you x
Thanks, Nicola! david
Very funny! And helpful. The podcasts are improving my life
Great practical tools
Thanks, Arti! david
Thanks! david
I love the info but just to provide some constructive criticism, I find the two person format awkward and distracting. I think it would be much more effective if Dr Burns did these podcasts alone.
Fabrice . Come on. Play the friggin role.
i love fabrice
i guess you will be 76 at next month david. happy birthday 😬 i have your book and i start it two time but cant finished now i figured(spelling?) i have procrastinion after finished episode. same time i feel i have anxiety, depression and a bit ocd 🤔 last year before coronavirus i did go a therapist first time in my life im 26 btw. it was good but after virus i didnt go maybe a bit sickness disorder 😬 (i dont remember right name srry bad memory) and now im thinking finish the book and take a date from therapist i hope i can do it. it will be very helpfull. i dont thini david gonna read this but its a practice for english for me( sorry bad englando) anway have a nice day who read this and take care yourself 🙃
Thanks will be 78, actually! Appreciate your thoughtful note! Warmly, david
@@daviddbmd happy 78 😄 and thank you again for answer and your good products.
@@oldperson7559 Thanks! david (aka old guy) burns!