How to Accomplish Long Term Projects with ADHD
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- Опубликовано: 20 фев 2023
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We all know it's hard to get our long term projects accomplished. So what can we do to help with that? In this video, we discuss ways on how to accomplish our long term projects with our ADHD!
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Hey, could you someday make a video on maintaining friendships? (not making but specifically maintaining) A video that explains the adhd-point-of-view on it. It'd be really handy to show someone who doesn't really understand the struggles that some/a lot adhd'ers face with everything that comes with that!
Yup I feel that. Getting me out if the house I'm near impossible. I found a great online group of friends and they are great. International communities mean I can get online any hour of the day and get my social fix. In real life I just have my wife and coworkers. Because I'm forced to be with them so it's easy to maintain friendships with them.
One thing that sort of helped me is being upfront with my good friends, but even newer ones. I tell them that I have ADHD and Chronical illness & that I like them and like meeting them, but I often forget texting them, and that I sometimes struggle with paying attention to what people are saying.
My friends have kind of accepted this part about me, and someone also td me they used to fear I didn't care about them, so it definitely helps!
Meeting fellow neurodivergent people can also be amazing (but challenging too because the both of you might forget calling etc)
I feel like I had made this exact comment years ago lol
Agreed, this is one of the most difficult and painful problems that ADHD causes for me. This, and maintaining regular correspondence with family, are a regular source of grief and frustration.
Just call and ask if they “want to come out and play?” Use those words. They can say no. Those words set wide boundaries. Don’t volunteer for anything. Let your friends know that you mean well and that your forgotten plans aren’t personal. Let them know to invite you a 2nd time in 10 minutes.
What she learned:
1. Spend more time brainstorming the possible steps involved
2. Build in time for planning (its productive)
3. Its a long time proyect for a reason
4. Dont expect to put your life on hold until the project is done
Thanks for the summary :)
It's important to remember that very few people actually get things done on time! Your teachers lied when they said you couldn't hand in stuff late in the real world, you can and it's actually more common than meeting the initial deadline. Remember Hofstader's rule: everything takes longer than you think it does, even when you account for Hofstader's rule
I really resented my teachers for this. At the beginning of the semester they’d say they don’t accept any late work. I would believe them, not turn in stuff because I missed the deadline and take the zero. Then find out at the end of the semester that they were taking late work from a lot of students. For some reason I bought that statement every time. My grades could have been better if I’d not been told that lie to begin with. (I had no idea I had adhd at the time. Likely, that didn’t help with my timeliness)
@@karen23826 stuff like that really adds to our shame
SO true. I don't have ADHD as far as I can tell, but share some challenges. I am finding so many strategies you share helpful. I have always struggled with motivation, planning and time management. Time blindness - what a great term!! I focus on perfectionism, love the details and being in the process, as opposed to fitting the project into the needed time frame. I did DIY home renovation with a partner who was really good at scheduling and meeting deadlines. After a few weeks we realized that we could accurately predict the time needed by making our best estimate, including unforeseen delays, extra trips to the hardware store - and triple that!
When people give "rules" but they mean "general guidelines"... Bane of my existence
I disagree. School taught me to double every time budget and act as if I had half as much so I always had 4x more work than anticipated. I got that method by constantly failing at deadlines. When you have clients deadlines are the difference between a successful career and a bad reputation in almost every field from tech to construction contracting to creative works.
Yeah, every now and then it's not a big deal, but it seriously impacts other people when deadlines aren't met because they're planning their lives too. It's really selfish to just use the excuse "oh I have ADHD so it's not my fault, it's ok if I'm late". It's not, it harms others and it's not responsible. It's important to try to be cognizant if others just as we expect them to be cognizant of us imho.
Only 2 months late for a whole book? That’s amazing! I took a full year longer than I’d expected to write my doctoral dissertation, and I don’t even have ADHD. (I subscribe to your channel because I have a good friend with ADHD I’m trying to understand better and because you’re so likable.) You should be so proud of yourself!!!
IMHO, it depends a lot on how it's structured. If it's something where you need to have a beginning a middle and an end and the later bits depend upon the former bits, it's a lot harder than if you can skip around after determining the structure that you're working with. A book that's comprised of self contained chapters is probably going to go faster than one that requires you to resolve each roadblock before moving on.
I do have ADHD and it took me nearly ten years longer.
I wasn’t diagnosed with ADHD until my mid-30s, but I know I am a horrible procrastinator. So when I had the chance to take three extra classes for my master’s program in education rather than write a thesis I totally took that route!
2 months is pretty strong. For a book that takes a year it's pretty normal to have circumstances where it takes 2 years. The double, double rule for estimation can be helpful in planning. If you're an optimistic person, double your estimate, if it must be done before the deadline or there will be consequences, double it again.
@@ARVash Yes, a guideline like that is going to be the way to go. Nobody writes enough books to expect there to be a specific number for how long the next one will definitely take.
It's really painful for me to acknowledge that it takes me longer to do things than other people. It always helps me to come back to your content and hear your experiences and see other people's experiences in the comments.
I hate that too. It legitimately takes me about 4 times as long to do anything that a neurotypical person can do.
I felt bad about not doing things as well as others until I found out that I had ADHD. Now I know that I am not like them so I need not expect to be like them. I feel better about myself 😸 I hope you do too.
@@trulyblessed1979 excellent point 👍
Wholeheartedly agree - as I watch Jessica’s as my 10th video, because I planned on getting out of bed at 7am (unrealistically, as I went to bed at 1am and woke up at least 3 times throughout the night with a recurring nightmare), yet it’s 9:30 and I’m still struggling to get going.
I’m a late finisher in school but I get tons of praise from my professors that I turn in above average work - so it helps me to concentrate on that aspect and to tell myself on a daily basis: “Today I am closer than ever to graduating” - even if it feels like an inch - it’s still moving forward 🤷🏻♀️😬
Ugh this cuts deep! It’s taken me to my 30s to come to grips with the fact that I can only really plan to do about three things on any given day, and that’s on a good brain day. But realizing that has helped me to accept that it takes me 12 hours to do an 8 hr workday, and it’s okay. Knowing I’m not alone in this has helped ease my frustration with myself for not being “normal.”
I also wrote a book with ADHD...but I didn't know I had ADHD. I got the 'You're just lazy' 'They'll never ask you do another one' from my partner. And it didn't help that the publishing company got sold in the middle of the project, so that just introduced more chaos. It's a wonder it got finished. I may have another similar long term project coming up and fingers crossed it will go much smoother!
Oh goodness I can't imagine dealing with the publish company being sold mid-way through the project. I can't imagine the chaos that added on top of everything else! Great job finishing the book tho! That's definitely impressive. And best of luck with the next long project. 😊
@Google user unfortunately he died of brain cancer last year. He was also on the spectrum (what used to be called Asperger's) so he meant well but didn't know how to express it in a more gentle way.
Knowing makes things easier.
I'm a novelist, unpublished. Just got diagnosed with ADHD in the fall. It helped me understand why first drafts are so much easier than second drafts. Editing is sooooo hard. It's frustrating because I feel like I've already written the story. But I just have to do it again, just better. It's so exhausting. Which is a big part of why I'm still not published. Editing and rewrites are just harder. At least the ADHd diagnosis helps it make sense.
Right?? The only reason I was able to write my graduating paper was because my girlfriend would stay in a call with me, and I would reward me with snickers evertime I did a paragraph or so
oooh i feel you so much. first draft =3 months. fourth draft (editing the book) has taken me 1+ year
I think this might be why brandon sanderson has overly simplified prose sometimes. He really doesn't edit. But he has editors.
I think for him it's made him get much better at writing a greater book the first time. Also, editors are a gift.
God... I struggle with the same!! Hate the edition part haha
Someone once told me to write the first draft like you're in love, then go back and edit. But be careful of over editing
I started a PhD a year ago but only just realised I have ADHD and how badly these things jive together, I've literally never clicked on a video so fast 😅😅 your videos have absolutely revolutionised how I see my life and have made so so so many things click and make more sense, thank you so much 💜💜
Hi! I got my PhD 10 years ago, and I was diagnosed with ADHD 18 months ago (and so much makes sense in hindsight!). It was hard, and from here I can see how much of the hard stuff was down to unacknowledged ADHD. But I got there, I did it, and I'm so proud of myself, even more so now. I can't promise you'll get through your course, but I can tell you that knowing about your ADHD will help so much. And I'll give you the best piece of advice I was given during my horrible, terrible, no-good first year when I wanted to quit: "Yes, this is hard, but you can do hard things." 💜
@@CaptainStitchyPants brb, I think someone's hiding in my room and cutting onions 😭😅 that means a lot thank you 💜
Me too! I'm in my 2nd year of PhD (finishing the 4th semester) and I got diagnosed around a year ago. With ADHD I also have depression (recently had a bad month-long episode ..) 😢 but getting better now and hopefully I will continue my PhD program and succeed 🩷 good luck to you!
@@HejTuNatalia best of luck to you too friend! 💜
@@HejTuNatalia oh gosh! that is the story of my life right now...
Great video. I needed it this week. Failing to finish projects feels physically painful.
It's difficult to explain to friends and coworkers, which of course leads to further self doubt, which is why accountability and focusing on the exciting parts is so helpful for me. Tackling the boring parts is almost as difficult as getting out of bed. Deadlines feel like doom. They extend the tunnel and dim the light at the end and make me feel stuck.
The stress, guilt, anxiety, and shame of procrastination is so debilitating, but the irony is that the pain STILL fails to impact task initiation.
SAME!
I relate to this so much.
if you have adhd get used to it
@@Dr.JudeAEMasonMD dr ..... lol
Never clicked so fast omg im lightheaded
Hope it helps!
Bwajajajajajja I did the same 😅😅
The emphasis on "you're not a failure" is so important. It seems like that's the first place our brains snap to as soon as things get a little off track. Just because our brains approach things differently doesn't mean they're wrong...and in some cases our approach is even better 😊
I've been doing my PhD part time for 14 years. In the UK a part time PhD is max 8 years. Recently, thanks to this channel, meds and a lot of hard work and support I've got to the point where I'm putting in systems, milestones and check-in points to help get it finished. Still, I keep having to move my deadlines and still every aspect is taking longer than I possibly could imagine. It's so hard, but I am keeping up the steady pressure on myself to focus while still working and 'life-ing'. It is so hard, but slowly but surely I do keep edging forward.
Keep on going! Also almost done with a part-time study that "should have only" taken 4 years and I'm in year 11. First 3 and a half years were easy but then... thesis... where you need a lot of executive functions... but we'll get there, slowly!
@@thecodingarchitect Huge thanks for that. It’s so good to know that someone else has been making the long slow trudge and is winning. More power to you. I’ll keep on with my own long slow march and likewise should get there someday soon! It can be done.
This is my biggest struggle! Sadly, this is also the biggest part of my job. Perfect timing! I needed to hear this! Best take away for me: “Inconsistent effort over time is ok too… It’s ok to have that effort be inconsistent as long as you consistently show up.” Often times, I get discouraged by the inconsistency of results and give up on showing up.
Hello James
I'm working on my Masters in Astrophysics and I was actually thinking today about how maybe because of my ADHD I'm not fit for graduate studies and research. I see everyone around me getting so much done within a day and their brain seems to keep up while I can barely hold up! It's so hard to stay motivated!
I felt the same way in grad school, but our fields need people like us who think differently, especially in a field like that! Go you!!
I've been following your channel since the beginning. You had maybe 5k subscribers. I just want to say I appreciate you SO MUCH. You validate nearly every emotion I go through involving ADHD. I feel better about myself and having ADHD. I wasn't diagnosed until my early 30s. You're amazing. Thank you. 🔥❤️
awwwwww that's so awesome, thank you so much for being with us for so long! I'm glad our videos still resonate with you and help. 🧡🧡
Agreed! I started watching just last summer, she helped me realize what was going on in my brain. Got a diagnosis a few months later and so much makes sense now, and I feel so much better about myself because understanding what's going on makes it so much easier to manage
You just described my whole life from uni to retirement. I was a workaholic. Sooo wish I could have had you as a counsellor way back then. Thank you for sharing your workarounds for life.
As a person who struggles with ADHD I get so discouraged/frightened at the idea of tackling long term projects, mainly because I have epically faceplanted a few times in the past. But I like how you reframed this to exclude feeling shamed about inconsistency: "It can also be inconsistent effort over time..." So freeing and encouraging to hear this. Thank you!
I’m in the process of starting my own small business and I never thought I could do something like this with the way I suffer with ADHD. thanks for this information and it’s always so helpful to hear from others struggling with the same things.
Keep going! I think ADHD is also a huge benefit when it comes to starting a business. For example, we are more likely to take risks and to work on inner motivation. Those things really kept me going when I officially registered my own small video business, even if it meant learning a lot about new things like tax returns, contracts, bookkeeping. In what field will you start your business?
A couple things that I've learned is that anything nontrivial should probably start with both a brainstorming session and a dress rehearsal. You'll come up with a bunch of stuff that you missed and a sense of which worries and anxieties might be worth worrying about, and which ones you can just accept as the price of admission.
oh man. when you talked about forgiving yourself and about inconsistent effort over time - It really hit hard. thank you so much for this
This is basically how my daughter got through her MA thesis, whereas I crashed and burned on my undergrad thesis and never even got to start my MA. Your second book needs to be exactly this, how to tackle long term projects if you are student or career person with ADHD! (Go ahead, curse me for even suggesting another book! 😆). You should see the look on her face when somebody asks her if she’ll do a Ph.D. 😂
I can really relate to your daghter! I'm also working on my master thesis and it's so hard to sty and track and motivate yourself every day to get it finished. At the moment I'm pretty sure that I won't do a PhD fter this!
I've been doing my PhD the past few years and while I'm behind compared to my peers I have to keep reminding myself that life happened. The past 3 years have been mad. What you said about "is taking this long because its a long term project not so it's perfect" it's what i really needed to hear today
You're one of the few that almost brought me to tears when I watched your ted talk 6 months ago. It explained nearly 90% of my struggles & mirrored my life.
Here I am today, embarking on an important project. Eying an opportunity, after losing nearly every opportunity throughout my life & you upload this video.
I need this right now!.
Thank you for all the support to ADHDers around the world.
Wait, there's a TED talk too? I need to look it up.
@@WolfRose11 yup it's either ted or tedx. Something along the lines "failing at normal". Also her "What is Adhd" or "how to ADHD" from 2017 or 2018 in which she wears the dress in the channel profile icon are very moving & accurate of our struggles.
I should watch it then, i procrastinate then get bored distracted easily
@@bernadettehoward2561 I'm pro at it too 😅. Relatable video isn't it?
@@bernadettehoward2561 That sequence you stated procrastinate -> bored. -> distracted. That's eerie relatable.
Is it almost deliberate yet undesired? Or is it a habit that you're not conscious of in that moment? Like you're on autopilot.
Is it anything like you know it's not good to procrastinate but feel like that's what you'll end up doing anyway, a feeling of hopelessness?
I decreased so much the amount of tasks I was giving myself and I feel hopeful. I can't study 8hours right now but I can study 2hours and I know that with time I'll grow. I'm being gentle, understanding and supportive with myself and I think it will actually work this time. We'll see but one step at a time
Wow! Congrats on finishing the book! This video is like a ‘greatest hits’ of tips. Normally I feel rubbish about myself when someone says they’ve got big project over the line (writing a book!!) but I just feel happy for you and hopeful for myself after listening to this!! Thanks sooo much! ❤
Thank you! It's not quite done yet but it's close! So... very close....finally!
Ha! I must have been too busy writing tips on Post-Its to catch that bit 😂
@@HowtoADHD Great job. I'm trying to write my own book, and this is very helpful and inspiring. Thank you for the video.
I've been trying to write a book on and off for the last 20 years. Have 6-7 starts to a book in my filing cabinet. Still can't manage it, but I'm also undiagnosed and unmedicated, though I'm 100% sure I've got ADHD. Thank you for these videos - you make me feel like I'm OK even when I can't get stuff done AND you make me want to try again. You're very relatable.
I love how you explained the "progress over perfection" quote I hear so often as a writer: "It's okey to have that effort be inconsistent as long as you consistently show up and put it in." Those specific words made me feel so much better and secure in the constant writing slumps I've been in with ideas that haven't left my mind. Thank you so much for making this video, I'm looking forward to reading your book!
I'm currently writing a thesis and feel you very much. Somedays I was sitting on the chair and waiting to get my motivation and the day was over without doing literally anything. Because I know who am I, I started working on it like 1 year earlier from my friends. They haven't yet picked a subject but I got 70 pages done. Sometimes people ask me that "how can you do it while you are also working?" and people who are not working are talking about how hard it is. But I know myself, I started it earlier because otherwise, I couldn't have made it done like them. And I also know that I would spare the same time if I don't work. I would just sit around and that would also make me depressed, would make me create pressure upon myself. So, I wish I wouldn't have this disorder, but since I have, I have to behave in its acknowledgment. I got relieved when I discovered how many people subscribed to you, which means there are hundreds of thousands of people like me and it feels like I'm not alone with this. Thank you.
Knowing who you are is so important! And kudos for starting early. Cheering you on!
You're so responsible! If I was you, I'd start 8 months later than my friends. And would still do nothing in most days. Or, maybe, I'd start a year earlier, do 1 page and then do nothing for 20 months.
@Анна Горбунова -- That's my workstyle, too. X'D ... O_o Yeah... I'm trying to work on that. ^ ^;
Hey, great Video, as always.
I'd have five things to add i found out that are important to me considering long-term projects:
- Get help: Not possible for every type of project. But asking friends for help, even on the mundane and simple tasks, is a huge motivation boost. You work together, have social time - maybe even talk about important things, and most of the time they are happy they can help.
- Don't feel bad when you put it on hold. Again, not possible for every type of project but most of the time it is ok to let it sit for a few days/weeks. Have something set up that reminds you to continue.
- When estimating how long something takes tripe your estimate. Especially when cou cummunicate it. Most of the time this is suprisingly accurate and if its less thats not that bad.
- Allow your brain some time to think about the project before you start. This is really hard, because then the start of action moves to "not now" but actually thinking about it is the start. Maybe, after a few days, you come to the conlusion that you don't even have time to do it or have to prepare someting (e.g. tools) to do it.
- Pay someone to do the blocking step: There maybe a step that blocks the progress of the project, but you just can't do it (because ADHD). Do something else to earn money and pay someone to do just that step (or even more). Did this while renovating and, while it wasn't cheap, a professional did a much better job than I could ever do it and the outcome was just perfect. They even considered things that wold be problematic in the long run, that I didn't even think about.
Oh, yes! Absolutely, planning time is golden.
Long term projects and goals and I are almost always at odds. On rare occasions I find the right motivation to “do it neurotypical” but it is indeed rare. Thank you for this video and so many others as I work thru your channel. And please keep it up, it’s so very helpful.
"Okay, so I'm writing a book." Followed by nervous laughter.
Yup 😅
Glad I'm not alone 🤣
@@HowtoADHD Oh goodness, not by a long shot 😆
Regarding another of your videos, I have had great success with the glitter calming bottle you showed us. I’ve made so many for others as well. I get great feedback.
I’ve been using snow globes from the dollar store recently. I also got little glass bottles (about 2” tall) and made some to keep in my purse. They are great for flying, if you’re afraid.
People have seen me using them and asked about it and I always have an extra one on me to give to them. It’s been awesome making them. It’s fun, short, calming, and I look forward to whoever might want one.
Thank you so much!!
❤️catherine 🇺🇸
Oh that's so awesome! Omg thank you so much for sharing, this is so incredible! And we actually have a team member who is mortified of flying, so I'll definitely pass this on to them. This is such a great idea. AHHHHHHHHH! I love it! 😊
Thank you so much! You inspire me and every time I hear you say
“Hello Brains” I just smile!!!
Diagnosed 8 yrs ago (now in my mid 50’s), I feel so connected with like minded ADHD’ers! Using positive self talk for myself, instead of beating myself up for “what I didn’t accomplish”, I’m trying to focus on “what I did get done” and be proud of myself. Knowing other like minded people are going through the same challenges, and sharing what’s working for them, makes me feel less alone and more supported!
Congrats on your fab accomplishment and so close to your finish line!!!💕
My house is a temple to ADHD. 100 sets of supplies for short term interests and halfdone projects. Long term projects are also my worst performing ambitions. Especially because a setback can really damage my motivation and hide me behind the wall of awful for weeks and weeks. Still very satisfying to sometimes really cross something off the list though. Definitely proud of the accomplishment. It definitely helps that i can loudly proclaim to my wife: I DID A THING! SEE? And get my reward kiss for it. We're cute like that haha.
Keep up the good work!
That's super sweet 😊
This came at just the right time. I was offered an illustration job, a once in a lifetime chance, but I burned myself out in past attempts to take on jobs. But that was before I got diagnosed. But I was so brittle after that experience, I thought I'd never would do it again. And now this, and I am so so frightened! And trying to calm me down and see it as an exciting chance, instead of a potential chance to destroy my self-esteem. Oh my.
Brittle is a good word here. Thank you for it.
I Just recently came across your videos - never had any offical diagnosis have allways coped in life and worked out my own routines and coping mechanisms to get through - but have allways felt my brain is wired diferently . No one ever seemed to get it when i tried to explain . People just put me down as lazy or uninterested - when i was proberly trying harder then anyone else in the room . When i stumbled across your videos . I finally feel like someone is talking my language !!!! . Your videos are awsomme thanks for everything you do !!!!!!
It took me 7 years to finish my masters degree, which is usually a two year program, most of which was working on my thesis (basically a 50 page book based on original research). I did so many things wrong, was helped by some very kind people, and learned so very much.
In the end, nobody who wasn't in my life during the time will know how long it me vs the norm. They will just know I have a degree.
I needed this. I need to see someone with a brain like mine succeeding through the struggles and striving for their goals. Because as someone with an overwhelming fear of failure but who is also incredibly impulsive, it has been so difficult to make the leap for any of my dream, long term projects. I admire you for being honest about the stumbles and hiccups and accommodating yourself and I need to thank you for that. I don't think that's something we see often enough and it's both inspiring and empowering.
ive been trying to write a book for over a year and just got diagnosed with adhd 3 months ago - like no wonder i was having so much trouble my wall of awful was HUGE and fell into a year-long cycle of rumination, pleased to report that journaling and my meds have helped! i have 20k words so far!
Can’t wait to get the book when it’s done. You’ve been such an enormous help to my whole family in helping understand myself and my child. You rock. ❤
I’ve always felt bad about planning time, because it’s normally not considered as being productive. But hearing you say that it is, and to make time for that step, was so validating! You gave some awesome tips that I’m definitely using with my two long term goals this year, getting my GED and finishing the first draft of my graphic novel!
I’m (trying to be) a filmmaker right now, and I think this video might be exactly what I need to hear ☺️
I started university a few months ago, which is obviously a long time project, but like I'm so afraid, that my adhd might destroy that for me, cause it's actually one of the most important things, I've started in my life and yk what I study means a lot to me, cause I've been interested in it since childhood. But your videos always help me through the day, not only beacause of your tips and strategies, but also because I always feel represented and actually understood, when I watch your videos.
Your book was only two months late and you have ADHD, super human effort. Many writers without ADHD are much later than that.
I am so incredibly proud of you!
You wrote a book! That’s absolutely incredible! Think of how many short term projects get behind by an hour or a week… If you really stop quantify how behind you were, two months late on a year-long goal, that’s literally 1 day late for a weeklong goal. That is epic!
Girl give yourself a ridiculously funny and hyped up happy dance because you just wrote a book!!! And you absolutely crushed that goal!! You did it! I really hope you celebrate yourself on a big way. You deserve it!
I am still unsure if I have ADHD, but this video made me very emotional. I instantly remembered the long term projects during my master studies and my master thesis, and how much I struggled, due to the exact same reasons you talked about. I felt like a total failure. Meetings with my supervisor were what saved me (accountability for the win!), which I only realised months later. I also struggled through an online course, and it took double the time (a year instead of six months) because I miscalculated the time I would need, I did not let myself work through it guided by my interest (gotta start with the first book and work through them in order, no other way possible), and there was no one to hold me accountable but me. Also perfectionism kept me from starting assignments.. I actually used tips from your channel and other ADHD creators to get me through it. I know now that I am capable of long term projects, but it was so hard. I doubted myself so often.. So thank you so much for this video. It is really encouraging and super helpful! (bc I will forget what I have learned through the past projects, and this will remind me, so it is definitely saved in a playlist now)
I too struggle with LT projects. Thank you for posting.
I was just at the psyciatric clinic for my first appointment. They said that I probably have ADHD, but we’ll go through a thorough evaluation before we know for certain. I’m pretty sure that I have it, because I relate strongly to everything on this channel. I feel like I have a new life ahead of me, because now I can fina solutions more easily.
I have been trying to finish a book for almost 20 years. Every year that goes by that I don't finish it increases the expectation for it. The book will have to be profound and a masterpiece to justify taking so long to complete.
»When you go off schedule, the schedule was wrong, not you. The schedule needs to be revised and changed - not you. The schedule is there to accompany you. If it does not do that, the schedule is not doing it's job. That's on the schedule - not you«
I've had some really good mentors teach me this. That if I'm doing my best, taking care of my self, putting in a healthy amount of time and effort, and am not following the schedule or the planned deadlines - that schedule is not healthy or realistic. The way forwards is to change the schedule to be realistic and fit reality, not sacrifice my health in an attempt to fit the schedule.
It's definitely the exact opposite of what I've learned at school or, really, anything where outside forces have placed deadlines on me without my needs in mind. Where I've been expected to contort myself to fit into something I'm not, rather than make a sustainable plan based on who I am.
You are not wrong. The plan is wrong. The plan can be changed to fit you. You can't change to fit the plan - nor should you. You are great exactly as you are
Im on my xth novel project currently. Only difference is: this time I have a full plot planned out. I probably won't finish it, but due to this the likelihood drastically increased. From 0.01% to 0.1% or something xD
I also noticed the effect, that writing from multiple points of perspective is kind of feeding my need for something new im a way that I felt freshly motivated to write. Now I try to alter in between character perspective from chapter to chapter. Im just afraid of the second half of the book were the characters trajectorys align and they hang out together :/
Love to Jessica! Your motivation Bridge video was really a milestone in my life.
Earlier in life-right up through the months following my graduation from art school with a Bachelor's degree-I had dreams of creating graphic novels. Then, as the years wore on and I became more and more disillusioned with my ability to stick to it over the long term (and doubtlessly discouraged further by my inability to find work in my art field), my long-term project dreams became smaller and smaller. From graphic novels I went to webcomics, and from there to fan zines. Being diagnosed with ADHD confirmed that I wasn't just lazy, but that these projects were literally harder for me and that was at least part of the reason why I could never get very far with them. But I still struggle with it and even now, I'm wary of committing to any sort of long term plan, especially since the international shortage of Adderall means I've been unmedicated for two months. Just getting through the initial rush of inspiration feels like it's becoming a chore-as it is, I'm going to need to watch this video another time because I kept zoning out, distracted by the website on my other monitor.
But in a secret place I still harbor thoughts of making some fan zines.
I have this so much with long term projects at work, especially as instead of positive feedback you just get demoralising feature requests or people disliking aspects of the project. That makes it so hard to go back to it and continue delivering on the same thing!!
Have you considered (or tried) speaking to your higher up(s) about positive reinforcement? I had to do something similar at a previous job and, while there was some resistance at first, it did eventually lead to a more positive feedback loop. I just explained that the constant criticism, though warranted, made me feel like my actual progress wasn't appreciated and made feel less motivated to make an effort.
I did have to go to HR about one individual... but it worked out in the end.
As a Junior in college i’m looking towards writing a thesis next year. but there’s this fantastic thesis research fellowship over the summer that i really want to get into. it’ll set me ahead for senior year and give me a lot of accountability over the research process. although the thesis is the real long term project, applying the the fellowship is feeling a bit like one! thank you for your videos they make me feel capable of the hard things i want to do
This was so helpful, especially considering right now i am working on an app like literally right now I was working on it and went on my phone and I realized I prob need to structure it out more before i do it haha. i don’t know if acc have adhd or not bc i don’t have the guts to even talk to my parents abt it but this channel helps me sm, thank you!!!!!
Thank you so much for your videos! A year ago my therapist suggested your channel.
My long term project
I'm finally graduating from college. And at the moment working on my senior gallery show!
@2:47 "missed step" structuring the book, this part hit home. After several weeks of planning and sketching, I realized, I didn't know what I was making. I had ideas, things I wanted to say, the way I would like the audience to feel, layers of meaning and heavy handed allegory, but no concept of what I was actually bringing into existence... As of Monday, problem solved, but this video was timely!
Thanks so much for making this space.
Being 2 months behind schedule on a book is not unusual for a neurotypical first time author. In my eyes you absolutely nailed this!
I wish I had seen this in 2005 when I started my part time Master's degree. My thesis took a year to write and was more or less the length of a short book. I recognise many of the struggles I had and the solutions I evolved.
I laughed at the temptation to include personal anecdotes - as if oversharing is much of a thing in ADHD?! Glad for you that you resisted that one.
Finally - this episode came across as more authentic than some others. You weren't really acting in this one (not that there's anything wrong with acting in front of a camera).You tackled one of the more difficult challenges for people with our disability with honesty, dignity and authenticity and you deserve praise for that.
Good luck with the book.
I am going to deal with my final exams so great timing
Well done Jessica! Congratulations on the effort and result. I'm looking forward to the book.
I will echo other comments and say that my ADHD journey would have been significantly more difficult without your channel. Your content is accessible and relatable, and I have learned so much in the six months since I was unofficially diagnosed. Thank you for that. 💯
I love the concept of inconsistent progress. I'm starting a business and well, I guess I've been "starting" it for a couple years now, but with breaks. My progress is wildly erratic, but the important thing is that overall, I am moving forward.
Thank you for this video!
Structure of the video with tc (even if seing the whole video is interesting too)
- lt project is hard => split
- time boundary so as not to hurt oneself
- 4:24 accountability on st after 3 days with sbdy
- 5:00 create a stable cue when things are moving around
- 5:37 use previously created structure to work on parts one feel to work today is more effective
- 6:00 planning time for planning for lt project to create the syructure
- 8:15 continue living
- 9:22 efficiency will vary from day to day
- 10:30 celebrate little victories or celebrate by seing progresd
- 11:00 plan work day ( sponsor sansama)
i just wanted to thank you for your channel. you helped me so much by teaching me how to recognize adhd and how to deal with it. it's thanks to you if i got the courage to get myself diagnosed
Of course!! You're welcome 🧡 We do what we can and we're glad that our videos continue to be helpful
I can't articulate just how much your videos have helped me. They have helped me understand so much about the way I think. Thank you!
Awwwww you're welcome! Pleased to hear our content has been helpful for you 🧡
Jessica, your 50% underestimate is adorable. For me, most things take 5x what normal people say they should except for a few oddball things I can do in 1/2 the time. And naturally I can't keep track of which things are which.
Renovating our house and writing my thesis. This video found me at a perfect time because the overwhelm is so real.
ironically i feel like a good accommodation for us is *less* time, or like you said, those micro deadlines for each chapter. some teachers in school understood this and... a lot did not lol
YESSSSS. Ughhh I wish more people would be willing to do micro deadlines. It helps so much and it can be a good way to catch difficulties early on too at times. Not always but still. There's just so many benefits of it.
I've been giving myself permission to use micro deadlines for my home projects ( arts and craft ), and it has been so helpful.
Thank you for this. I have been struggling with my LONGEST TERM project of being a stay at home parent. I’m also starting to right my own book about my experience with fatal diagnosis and over coming it.
Your advice is much needed and exponentially appreciated.
😘
Going back to school to complete my bachelor's now. It's a self-paced program, so I can tell even better when I'm falling short of my own ambitious timeline.
I have to keep reminding myself that the time will pass anyway no matter how much I feel "behind". So it's better if I'm at least closer to being done a year from now. That's better than quitting now because I'm falling short of graduating by next year.
As for the boredom, I had to convince myself that it's a now-or-never thing and press on: I may not have the time in the future, I may not have the resources in the future, etc. I don't know if it's the healthiest way, but I didn't do this in my 20s, and I quit most things I started without reminding myself that time and energy are finite resources.
Needed to hear this today... working on my dissertation...and trying to deal with ADHD on top of it...plus learning background information...
Congrats on where you are with the book! I feel like being 2 months behind is still amazing! Especially when you're learning HOW to write a book at the same time as writing. Plus, you can hardly know from experience how long it'll take. My long term project is also writing a book, my first, but it's a novel. I haven't really struggled with that yet, because I'm just so excited about almost every part of it. But, looking for a job which feels very much like a long term project too, is different. It's so hard. I mean, I am not excited about the application letters I write about myself each time and yet I have to keep at it. And the reward is so delayed I don't even know when I'll get it...
This is so completely me. I have a first chapter of a novel I wrote on November 1, 2019 planning to do NaNoWriMo. I haven't written anything since.
The overly "making up for" a missed deadline deeply resonates with me. It something I've had to work really hard on as a small business owner.
YEAAAAAH. It's a tough one. But kudos for working on it because that's no easy feat either but hopefully will be so worth the effort. 🧡
I found my passion recently in making figurines. But I also have ADHD and struggle to keep myself motivated when I hit walls with my art or if the project is just taking a long time. Your channel has been really great. It made me realize that I not only need strategies that work for me but also to seek out the proper support. I was seeing a therapist who recently admitted that they do not know much about ADHD and were approaching my lack of self-esteem and project inconsistency from a completely neurotypical standpoint that was having inconsistent results. I'll continue my quest to be the best I can be at what I love to do on more of my own terms now. Thank you for what you do.
I can’t watch right now, but this video is definitely something I’ve been needing for a long time.
I was binging some older videos last night. Can’t wait to watch this one. Thank you, Jessica!
This came at the perfect time! I’m starting my comprehensive exams which will move me to my dissertation which is a multi-year project and I’ve been feeling SO apprehensive to get started on my comps exam because I’m not great at long term projects. But I’ve taken some of the steps that you’ve laid out so i know that my instincts are on point and that i can get started! Thank you for consistently being vulnerable with us on this channel. Makes me feel less alone ❤
Know this… you can do this! The fact that you’ve gotten this far means that you have figured out how it works for you.
I was diagnosed two years ago… more than five years after completing my doctorate. I spent years watching others in my program do notecards, notes, and projects in amazement. How did they do it?
Figure out how much you can do at a time. Be okay with being flexible with yourself. Coming back to the work is more important than doing X amount before walking away.
How do you eat this elephant? One bite at a time.
@@ryankennard6626 thank you so much Ryan! I was just diagnosed in 2021 so i was one year into my PhD but i had already done a Master’s and a Bachelors. After diagnosis, i was reeling because it wasn’t until earlier that year that i thought i was ADHD. I’ve definitely had to re-learn my learning style and really focus on the aspects that i am not strong at but are crucial to my success. I’m still working on this with my therapist and making huge strides to understand the root causes of some of my issues related to academics.
This is exactly how I wrote my dissertation. I felt like a failure the entire time I was writing it. This channel has helped me understand so many things about myself. Thank you!!!!!
The moment i learn that ADHD is something with planning. I immoderately searching how to become a Project Manager, and i assign two h or daily on my google calendar to actually planning.
Things in learn in project manager is giving buffer time, and doing gant chart, which is so nice. Also having a 5 years plan in google sheet to see a bigger monthly picture
I needed to hear this, you have simultaneously made me feel better about the fact that I’ve been on and off working on my novel for 5 years and also given me the motivation to keep going.
I just finished the biggest project that I've ever worked on. It took about 5-6 months (minus a couple weeks for the holidays) with several days feeling like doing anything. I definitely feel like you and your team had a part in me getting through it. I've learned sooo much from this channel on how to get through or around my shortfalls. Thank you.
I really hope you also turn it into a audiobook because as you know many ADHDer ‘s like myself can’t finish a book if our lives depended on it.
200th comment! "Don't try, never get. Fail only once, never learn enough" - One of my new updated / mashup maxims! I'm thinking of writing a book of those! Else:
"How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time!" "Slowly slowly catchy monkey" - Old british sayings.
"Making the world a better place is a marathon, not a sprint" "Strive for perfection, always, but don't get upset if you cannot achieve nor receive it. If absolutely necessary, no other way, accept the lesser evil" - Former, unsure and perhaps mine, latter definitely mine.
"The Perfect is the Enemy of The Good" - Voltaire
"Nobody made a greater mistake than they who attempted nothing because they thought they could only do a little" - Edmund Burke
"Desire is a contract to be unhappy with yourself until you get what you want" - Naval Ravikant
"Chasing the positive is itself a negative experience. Accepting the negative, is a positive experience" - Alan Watts / Mark Manson.
"Be water" - Bruce Lee oversimplified.
"Emotions are just the weather of the mind" - Zen
"Who is my Master? He who decids what I do or do not like" - Epictetus.
Thankyou for coming to my TED Talk.
Doing long term project, especially ones with mini projects inside them, are so hard. I always start project after project and then can't finish any of them. Great video, thank you!!!
I appreciate the tips. My workflow appreciates you, too!
Definitely hope it helps!
OH THANK GOODNESS I need this 😭
I don't know anyone else who has wrote a book but I'd venture to say that 2 months behind is probably pretty normal. You've obviously done an amazing job
7:15 heck yes, planning & scheduling & organizing IS work!
That's something that's also forgotten in many domestic arrangements, when (mostly) women assign tasks to (mostly) men. Noticing / remembering / scheduling that someone needs to do the washing IS a task that should not be overlooked.
Going through college rn and I really appreciated this video. It’s hard to stay motivated when pursuing my major and I really relate to the feeling of realizing your behind and then over- compensating by pushing beyond personal abilities. A great reminder to find joy in work and not get lost in the productivity❤️
Ooh, what a jazzy intro! 👏🎶 And a beautiful outro!
Also, as someone who has autism + ADHD but also wants to become an author for a living (and doesn't see many other employment options, tbh), thank you for making this video!
this video was very much needed, thank you jessica. the "let me make it up for the fact that I am already failing' sentence really hit home
I am in the middle of a PhD dissertation in mechanical engineering. It was the catalyst for me seeking a counselor for the first time in my life for depression/anxiety, and actually walking away with an ADHD diagnosis. Who would have thought that a 40yo+ fully employed engineer who went back to school part time to get their masters then again to get a PhD even though they absolutely do not need it at this stage of their career would actually be someone who has ADHD! /s
Thank you! I need this, my role is basically a consultantancy where I'm always in a long term project! Sometimes I can seem extremely daunting and the only way that this has been possible using "Agile".
This is extremely helpful.
Oh wow! Glad to hear you found it helpful 😊
@@HowtoADHD I do wish I could share project management techniques with others as well.
There are so many people with ADHD in my area its a bit funny. I have heard of this tool called "Motion" which is supposed to help with scheduling meetings and takes using AI which I'd pretty good as well.
Waterfall is the enemy of my brain. I’m so glad Agile gained traction. I can’t apply the principles outside of a structured team though (where someone else mercifully sets the sprint deadline structure though) as my perfectionist baggage, self doubt and time blindness slows me down! Would love a vids/tips etc. on how to do agile on your own.
When I first heard you say you were writing a book, I was so excited for you! I meant to tell you that and that you could do it.... but my adhd happened XD
Point is, now I'm telling you I'm so happy you finished! :) Can't wait to order your book.
BTW, 'homing from work' cracked me up. So true! XD XD
My career was my creative side. I was freelance, and the projects were mainly 2-8wks. Ideal. I now do a mundane job for health reasons. I perform regularly, though. I end up doing something different every gig, about 10 a year. I never take a project to a perfectly polished place. They are fun to do, I drop them and move on, and I keep learning and engaged with the medium. I have a vast arsenal of projects to draw on and revisit. It's often troubled me, but actually, it's healthy, no one notices so now I just embrace it. I do have one that I have performed once, and it's begging to be moved forward. I'm going to be brutal with myself on this occasion. It's a new direction that will help my need for new material. Sometimes it's good to have a long term project, I know it's going to be hard, really hard. I'm trying not to beat myself up on procrastinating and have to stop myself from making pointless arbitrary deadlines. I know it needs to happen and I know it will, eventually.
I'm trying to finish a PhD... I've been "doing" it for 8yrs which is waaaay overdue (supposed to be 3-4 yrs!)!! I was only diagnosed with ADHD 2 yrs ago, and I wish I'd known from the beginning... Now my university says if I don't submit by end of July this year, I will not be granted another extension. So, my "long term" project is now a "short term" project and I am freaking out!!!!!
I resonated with everything you learned from the process of writing your book because they're the same things I wish I could go back and change/fix!!!!
Congratulations on finishing your big project! It's good to see that it can be done!!!
Thank you so much for posting this! I'm working on a 6-month photo-documentary project and watching your video helps me to stay motivated and to keep pushing forward!
Awesome video, just the one I need right now :). I am currently working on the long term project of getting my life back together and starting a youtube channel of my own.
One thing I also need to say is thank you so much. I came across this channel by accident and it was the reason I got checked out and subsequently diagnosed. You quite literally changed my life for the better
I never thought of "getting life back together" as a project, but you are so right. Time to brainstorm, to think ahead, to plan AND within the plan plan time be to replan. THEN with some structure be ready for inconsistent progress, but track it, and permit "jumping about" within that structure.
Current long-term project is a combination of several long-term projects. Planning a book, world building, writing the story... andddd then animating a lot of it. XX)
And: definitely do schedule time for planning (and re-planning) the project, but *limit* the planning. It's easy to be tempted to use planning and learning 'related' skills as distractions/procrastination.
I love her videos providing guidance for ADHD, but what I really want to know most is how does she refuse to age? I need to learn that skill!