Resetting My System: How can you recover from Autistic Burnout?
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- Опубликовано: 26 апр 2023
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I'm looking forward to seeing you at this LIVE stream video!
Autistic Burnout is a very common experience. How can you recover from it? When you're burnt out what's the best way to reset your nervous system? Sometimes you just need a break... full system reset, like I said in my previous video.
In this live video I'll update you on my FULL SYSTEM RESET, and all the exciting plans I have to take a break later this year. You'll also get the latest news on what's happening with this RUclips channel, details of some in-person events I'm running in Munich and London in July, and of course, how you can stay in touch during my trip.
Ultimately, taking a break is often necessary for personal growth and creativity.
It's not always easy to take time off just to take care of yourself, so I hope that by finally taking the advice I give everyone else I can inspire you to prioritise your own recovery too!
For more details and to stay in touch with updates during my trip join our Patreon community here:
www.patreon.com/AFTI
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I'm Paul Micallef, and I discovered my own autism at age 30.
Yes, I know, I don't look autistic. That's exactly why I started this channel in the first place because if I didn't show you, you would never know.
Autism affects many (if not all!) aspects of our lives, so on this channel, I want to show you what Autism looks like in real people and give you some insight into what's happening for us on the inside. We'll break down myths and misconceptions, discuss how to embrace autism and live well, and share what it's like to be an autistic person.
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~ Paul
#autism #asd #autismawareness 
Развлечения
I am a drummer and when I go on tour there is an odd bliss. It's the same routine everyday. Ride in car looking out the window. Set-up, play, tear down, sleep. Repeat. Playing the same music with the same people becomes home base. You become almost a magical being to your nightly hosts when you have them, and have these deep, direct conversations, and then you move to the next town. It's weird, but relaxingly repetitive and disconnected from any real demands.
Agreed...it's real & unreal at the same time...Safe..without the cave.
Same reason I love working in warehouses. Just the same pattern every day. I'm smart. I'm an intellectual. I have a masters degree. But I don't need this stuff in my working life. I can function in daily life without this.
I find a similar thing with travelling railway work
Only problem I have with that is roster changes
Sounds perfect to me indeed!
@@richardblackmore9351 I grew up working in general labor, and my favorite was a HAZMAT disposal job, where I emptied paint cans into 55 gallon drums for another company to collect. It was so mindlessly repetitive that it was meditative and soothing. I now work in media because one of my special interests has always been media technology. I'm very good at it, and most of the people are great/fine, but then you get a few non-technical people in "management" roles who are exhausting to be around. They don't understand deep focus work, and instead bounce all over the place trying to soothe themselves through constant interaction. When it they are out on vacation so much gets done, but when they are around it makes me miss the HAZMAT job.
Gosh, no wonder so many of us who can’t afford to do this end up incapacitated and dying early. I’m really pleased for you just wish I had the same options.
You are living a utopian dream being able to take weeks off of work at a time 😭
After having the biggest burnout of my life - which became chronic illness lasting years, I am now no longer willing to even get even close to burnout if I can avoid it. I was very fortunate to recover from what I had so I'm determined to stay well. Honestly a big part of that is that I barely work. I just do a little study and a couple of small roles and I have lots of time to put into my health and well-being and to recharge after the demands of daily life. For now I need that, but I am still very much in the process of rehabilitating after those years of illness and building back my health.
Maybe in the future I will be able to consider more of a workload. But there's no way I'd try and keep something up which impacted my health badly. I'm done with that, the cost is too high. Living by the pace I need, in rhythm with my needs makes me feel great. I've got the least anxiety of my life
I had a similar experience but I burnt myself out trying to get well, it was hard to notice burnout when I was so dissociated. I had to reconnect with my body.
Thanks for posting about your experience, It validates the level of compassion and self-care required to stay healthy & well.
I need to find ways to give myself that permission as it seems so at odds with the expectations of a capitalist culture where 'production' is the measure of an individuals worth.
I'm in that right now and several highly stressful things have come up at the same time that I can't avoid but don't have the energy for. It's been years of chronic illness with no support from people due to choosing toxic ones over and over and having to disconnect from family also..at least I have my dog
The only time I've had a big reset was during the covid shutdown. Though I was anxious about the illness and safety of people, the economic impact of the shutdowns, it was the first time I ever truly relaxed, felt safe and calm. I realized that I'd lived all my life pretty much in a state of confusion, but masking always to look calm and in charge. The confusion lifted. It was during this time that I learned/figured out that I'm autistic. It finally all made sense. Now I'm learning to keep to myself and not focus on how to meet others' expectations. What are my expectations? Figuring out relationships in a different way. Slow going, but the right direction.
Year 2020 was absolute torture. Can't really blame you for having a breakdown. Especially if you were limited to being around the same people, in the same building. Day in, day out. That is a situation that would make most of us want to be elsewhere.
heyyy I’m feeling you so much about this. I was actually very relieved the world went into a shutdown state (only because of the shutdown in and of itself - not grateful for the reason why). I even expressed to some close friends and my partner that I’d always secretly wished the world would just stop - it’s always been too much for me
now, as we’ve re-entered life, I’ve been very conscious to avoid throwing myself into the same overwhelming patterns. nowadays, I’ve been prioritizing (even if I don’t always succeed) to choose only what actually serves this nervous system of mine
My company got comfortable with people working remotely even if they were in the same city. I'm still working from home nearly 100% and I will never go back. I wish covid hadn't happened, but I will take away a wonderful benefit from it.
My worst burnout was back in 2017, and I'm still not the same...
Years of mental abuse from drug addict friends, to the sudden death of two friends in a span of 2 weeks and more... Acting "more autistic" from burnout made it so the nuero typical people I was around treated me poorly. This is a real effect!
Don't push through the pain in hopes of it going away! It just needs to take its course no matter how bad you want to speed through it
@Marcus Rosales Hear you. Similar here. Mental abuse at work and elsewhere, and repeated cut work hours (grey area legally). Losing the friends is hard. Had most of close friends die in their thirties from accidents and cancer, otherin 40s from cancer treatment side effects. It’s harder control when stress is intense what we show to others as things get tough. At a certain point hardly functional. Can write in environments where not feeling threatened, but that’s about it. You are right. Some things just need to take their course.
@@galespressos It just sucks when you're clearly struggling and people who are supposed to be your friends do not treat you with kindness and compassion.
@@marcusrosales3344 That’s so true. It’s miserable when people we expect to be there aren’t.
Unfortunately this society doesn’t always support time off.
I saw a clip today asking why do we have to pay to live on a planet we were born on, it’s a good question.
Capitalism so true
It's just modern hunting, you have to work to eat, eat to live.
@@ardillezca yeh but we've enough food/water for everyone. They could eat and have clean water and do literally nothing. It's the greed of the rich that keeps the poor running like hamsters on a wheel. Also I wouldn't mind hunting, it's mindless desk jobs that destroy my soul lol (edit; also you have to pay council taxes etc etc, I think thats what he meant, I could own my own place and hunt but *still* have to pay!)
It's protection money.
I appreciate you mentioning the difference between nervous system reset not just brain and body. This really confirms the feeling I've had to take a Sabbatical
I personally love hiking for this exact reason. The environment is so different... the contrast between the noise of the city and the quietness of nature, sleeping in a tent, feeling the cold, different clothes, etc. makes for a totally different sensory experience to normal. When I'm lucky I get out for at least a day every weekend and I always come back feeling better, especially when I'm burnt out. I never heard it described as well as "nervous system reset" though but that's exactly what it is
Hello! I'm retired and I agree that sitting on the sofa stresses you out thinking about what things I could do. For me, walking is one of the best things to be better. Thanks Paul for your work. Enjoy this time! A hug😊
Hey it's really great that you can do this, and I'm really happy for you. I'm glad you're sharing this experience. But framing it as how to recover from burnout, when so many of us are stuck in situations where we have to manage our symptoms in real-time, without the wild luxury of taking months off from work, or even being able to walk. I'm mobility-impaired, and photosensitive, so hiking across Spain is never going to happen for someone lije me. I'm going to go out on a limb here, and say that the vast, vast majority of us who are watching your videos simply do not have the privilege of being able to take off months at a time and go walking just because we've burned out. And sadly, I and possibly others, have sat down to watch your video hoping that we can get some practical strategies for moving on, and it's that are met with what feels like vacation bragging, even though I know that's not your intent. I know you don't intend to be hurtful but it does come across as a little exclusive. This is not the way most of us will ever even be able to dream of handling our burnout. Some of us live in America where we don't even have health care, where it can take months or years to get approved for disability, and where many of us who are unable to work at all (I am employed in a really neurodiversity-positive performing arts center, but lots of us aren't so lucky) and must rely on social security insurance, live with enforced poverty and stigma that severely limits our options for self-care. I'm excited for you and thank you very much for sharing this experience; I think you should embrace your good fortune, and please share this adventure with us! But please, please, please don't frame it as "how to handle burnout" because most of us will never even have the luxury of thinking about such a big break, let alone having the physical capacity for such a huge undertaking. When you are already struggling along as the working poor, burnout can be financially devastating, and the consequences can destabilize us and plunge us into crisis without a solid support network or means to respond to the problems that inevitably arise. We need strategies that are a LOT more accessible.
That being said, if you ever get tired of wandering around Europe and feel like visiting the US, consider checking out the Finger Lakes in Central NY. It's beautiful here, and the neuro-spicy flows like wine!
Your videos have made a HUGE difference for me and so many others, and while I will never have the luxury of a months-long hike to address burnout, my quality of life is so much richer for it. THANK YOU!
Well stated. I'm in the same situation--AND we apparently live a few hours' drive apart. Wish I could actually leave my house, but I can't get a wheelchair I'm able to bring outside the house, & our house is so tiny, the last thing we need is a giant wheelchair with neck support & a motor for me to trip & fall over & get ANOTHER concussion on my way to the comfy reclining lounge chair! I was able to walk once, but that seems like a whole different life.
Except the USA all the other English speaking countries don't know how good they have it. I am an Italian living in the UK, gosh of we could have a quarter of the leisure, not just NDs but the general society work life balance. I also don't mean it as an offence, but I think we should really start thinking globally because it feels a bit like neo colonialism sometimes (again, don't want to only refer to Italy, I know African countries and numerous parts of the world are worse - I just think we'll never fix it otherwise)
Thank you so much for saying this. As another American, being able to take months off unpaid with no plan for return is such a huge privilege I can't even imagine it. It's great to hear about the good it can do but it was a little deflating to hear after hoping this video might order some advice I could take advantage of.
I understand, but I think Paul should share all these ideas. He should also maybe edit it to add your input and acknowledge it won’t be advice that everyone can take advantage of due to finances or ability.
Also, I was off all of last year due to burnout and other ass related health issues, and we now have to move because we can’t afford our house anymore. So I understand how financially destructive ASD/burnout can be and I’m sorry you’re in such a hard situation.
What a totally gorgeous person you are! You do not deserve your struggles. I wish you JOY, success for your favourite team! And, please, look after yourself. The World needs more individuals like you .
I just need lots of time away from others vibrations, which are like a constant assault that I can sometimes filter out to my satisfaction, sometimes not. Daily level, I’m better alone. Too much going on. Cant even live with busy wallpaper. Anyone else?
I recently replaced my floral print bedroom curtains with solid color curtains. SO much better now.
I can't wear busy prints on my body, makes so much more sense now knowing I'm autistic 😂
Same. I find a lot of human interaction feels unnecessary for me. Simple, daily interaction feels frenetic, and I have phrases to help me slip through people as invisibly as possible. I even wish there were times where everyone else had to be inside so that I can have alone time outside without having to experience their presence, lol. I wear the same solid color/make/model clothing every day. My wardrobe is just copies of the same outfit. Everything typically human feels like a distraction from being engaged in the good parts of life.
Yeah, I even struggle to share a room with my partner. -_-
@@rainbowstarks Understood - I’m high-functioning, and really just starting to take in how much and for long I have been masking - right from go, in fact, due to various early conditions - I’ve been playing a different person in effect, in large part due to the uncomfortable sensitivity to others’ frequencies and emanations. The other person was prickly, tough, ready to take heads. Difficult to reconcile the sensitivity with that by which I was surrounded.
Still difficult today.
I was married, children, girlfriends subsequently, but going forward, I can’t see myself living with anyone as I now find myself. Taken a long time to start to acknowledge and honour my boundaries. (Always had to brass it out) Must be many in this situation.
I feel understood and lost again watching this... In the USA our employers and social programs just aren't built to support these kinds of needs, even for those of us who've worked our way solidly into middle class. All the school and career work it took me to get there from nothing over the past fifteen years is also what led to the burnout I've been wading through... I get maybe three weeks of paid leave a year and that includes sick days and paternity leave isn't a thing so I've gone several years through our nesting phase with next to zero time off. Our country just doesn't have many of the freedoms enjoyed by first world countries...
He's right
Let’s protest our American govt for better vacation and medical leave laws and get better welfare benefits.
This place is truly a third world country in many respects and it shows vs the more civilized parts of the world where quality of life is more important than just creating "shareholder value" and enriching the select few in society.
I didn't figure out I was autistic until I was 60, so I could never explain my burnouts to myself, let alone anyone else. Now that I understand them, I can see them coming and try to take measures to prevent them. I don't exactly know how to do that yet, but I'm learning that "just power though" doesn't do it.
I thought I'm the only autistic person who feels the pressure to be constantly busy with something while at home, and absolutely has to go out and start walking in order to switch the brain into a "relax" mode... I'll make a note about the Camino de Santiago for myself, looks like a great thing to do for a reset! I feel like I'm in a great need of one this year as well. Thank you Paul for all that you do, and best luck with your trip!
I feel, although we all have different lives and are different people, so many of us are trying to figure out this burnout/energy balance thing.. Sleep is the first important need; but there is also that deeper processing need, a bit like you mention about it not just being tiredness.. Our autistic minds work on very deep and intense levels.. We can work very intensely.. and absorb a lot of information.. and life has a habit of giving more and more information to absorb and process.. There's a point at which we need to just take a break and take stock.. simplify life for a bit..
One of the first things to go at my last intense burnout were my memories, and this was quite distressing. That was over two years ago, and I still have blanks and patches in my mind where there used to be experiences and skills and knowledge.. Autistic neurological burnout really needs to be taken seriously, so I wholeheartedly believe in taking breaks when we need to. Not just to sleep, but to process.
I'm glad you mentioned about the brain fog/nerves/trouble focusing feeling, as that might be a warning sign I need to start taking into account. I'm loving the idea of staggering breaks and also taking more extensive breaks after periods of hard work. It does make sense. Really appreciate following your journey.
I lose my memories too. I get immense brain fog and I can't even remember who I am or how I felt before burning out.
It feels like coming down off of a drug binge despite not having any drugs. Just chunks of me go missing and I shrivel up from the inside out.
I pushed myself far too hard, this time. Now I absolutely hate myself for it. Like I'm so disappointed in myself right now for ending up so burnt out. I can't see how im supposed to get through life like this, it's just not worth it.
My company would force me to cancel my vacations, and after 80 hour weeks (80 hours of writing on a computer, not standing around), I would request a couple days off, and they would say no. I changed jobs for a few years, but the new job was even worse. And I have never been financially secure enough to be able to take time off. Finally, I did have to quit work because my hips and spine deteriorated. After those years of surgeries, I am back at work 10 hours per week, again because I can't afford not to work. I am 70 years old, and have been diagnosed only for three years. I so wish I had understood sooner!
Reading so many late-diagnosed comments has made me really sad but also so happy that people are learning about themselves. I’m 31 and my doctor said she’s “not sure it’s worth pursuing a diagnosis” because she’s not sure it would “do anything for me”. I certainly don’t think that’s true but for now, while I wait to talk to my therapist and psychiatrist, I’m okay knowing it for myself. Even that helps ❤ sending you a hug!
I’m a software engineer. Every single job I’ve ever had burns me out. I have no hope I will ever find one that does not.
Who said you have to ALWAYS be a software engineer?
Me too.
As an autistic person, I also walked the Way of St. James. It was the best decision of my life. I have resolved to repeat it every few years.
For those in the USA, try thru-hiking the Appalachian Trail for 4-6 months. Not only does it make for an extended break, but you'll seen great scenery and get in great shape.
Yeah but where are people going to get the money for the required camping gear, food, and clothing needed for doing that? The point that a lot of people are making in these comments is that most people can't even take two weeks off, let alone 4-6 months to hike the Appalachian trail. And I would recommend that people thru-hike shorter trails that are like 2-3 day hikes at the most when starting. I don't mean any disrespect but it's like telling people who've never lifted to start with the heaviest weights they can find.
@@QuartzVideozYT I agree.
I'm amazed how many people that try to thru-hike the AT do so with little or no preparation. Maybe desperate measures for desperate times in one's life. But nevertheless it's basically the American alternative to the Camino Reale.
Americans probably have a higher burnout rate (ASD or not) because so many of them work jobs that offer few benefits including little or vacation. Thus the very reason they need something like this is the very reason they can't take it.
I work at McDonald's as a grill cook and the job is easy and simple. The problem is that little things upset me all throughout the day and the inner pressure builds and builds until I am emotionally exhausted. recently I was told I am autistic. This is new to me. Am I? I will tell you what happened to see if anybody else has had similar experience. Today at work I was Feeling overwhelmed but trying to keep working and calm myself down. The manager was standing behind me at a distance, but I still did not like the fact of someone standing behind me and watching. He kept telling me to smile and didn't want to. I was very frustrated and just trying to do my job and not freak out. He asked me what was wrong and I didn't feel like talking. All I could do is shake my head no. Then he starts asking me why I'm not saying anything.then he said just be yourself and I said I am. But it took a lot of effort just to say that. Then he noticed I was doing something strange with my hands I guess, because he said what's the matter did you burn yourself? I work on a Hot grill, but no I did not burn myself. When I got there in the morning, all the tools and utensils I work with were not in the right place, and I couldn't start even though they needed food cooked, until everything was in its right place according to how I like to have it organized. People often will tell me "don't overthink it" because apparently they can easily adapt to changes or something. I add verbal sound effects to things or actions that I do all the time. I copy and mimic sounds or phrases that people say. Somebody told me to toss something, meaning throw it in the trash, but my first thought was to throw it across the room. Another person yelled how "long on fries", and I immediately started thinking what the average length of a french fry is. About 3 or 4 inches? I am bothered by certain sounds that don't seem to bother most people. People don't know when I'm joking, because of how I say it, not necessarily what the words are. I think it has to do with my tone of voice. Twice today I didn't understand somebody was using sarcasm and I thought they were being mean or threatening. I remember practicing facial expressions in the mirror when I was younger, and still practice tone of voice before talking to people on the phone to "get in character" to appear normal or "happy sounding". I definitely listen to the same songs and artist over and over and am reluctant to check out new music or movies or TV and also quote movie lines from the few favorites that I have. I don't like eye contact. Rocking, finger stimming like I'm practicing scales on the guitar, (hand flapping, but never where anybody else could see me, only when I'm alone.) People have also said I am being a smart-ass when I didn't mean to be. They're angry when they say this, at me for some reason. Im just trying to speak to them. This in turn makes me angry, and I show them what an actual smart-ass would be by saying "I'd rather be a smart-ass than a dumbass!" Because I see a lot of things that they do that don't make sense to me. They appear less intelligent. Sometimes they will say things like, I know you are intelligent, you are a grown man, how old are you? Why are you acting like a little kid. I never knew I was acting. I just tried to be myself like people always tell me to do. It's like no matter what I do, it's always wrong to them. I get mad because I tried my best and so I say maybe I will just stop doing anything so nobody can criticize me. Do you think I'm autistic? I'm having trouble accepting "that" because I don't know 100%.
@Patrick Bushdieker.. Hi Patrick. Thanks for describing your experiences and feelings.. A lot of what you say is very familiar to me.. & I am autistic, late diagnosed (at age 48, 5years ago, female, in UK).. Have to be careful speaking about others' diagnosis, I am not trained etc etc, tho have been learning a lot since my diagnosis, which I am very grateful to know, and it makes a lot of sense to me, helpful, & to also find how I connect much better and more easily with other AS folk as compared to NTs (Neuro typicals), and feel much more comfortable. So I'd say very very likely that you are indeed 'one of us'.. Welcome to the Tribe.. It's a great place to be 😀
Sounds likely? Have you been formally diagnosed?
I took a few tests online and found out I’m autistic.
@@DawnDavidson not yet but I'm working on it.
@@manyBlessings2all thank you. I'm working on getting tested but there is a big waiting list apparently. That's okay I've waited 36 years and didn't know I was even waiting.
I'm really happy for you that you're able to go on this trip and reset! That said, I wish you addressed more ways to reset as it is a bit privileged to be able to take time off like that, especially for your audience in countries like the US who don't value worker health and treat us like cogs in the system.
I thought the same, not all of us have the luxury to be able to afford extended time off work to travel the world....
I noticed a lot of comments like this - and as a us resident I completely am there with you. But. I did notice he said a long trip every 10 years. Idk about you, but if I even plan a week or two long trip a year ahead of time, I’m able to make it happen affordably and comfortably. I think so many of us get stuck in all or nothing thinking (myself included) so I’ve been trying to make an exercise of thinking outside of the box - or at least just a little different than I normally do :) (that’s personal for me, and I hope it doesn’t come across as I’m making it seem easy, but I think it’s important we continue to hold a little hope)
@@LaceyMyriah yeah that's not helpful at all. Solution to burnout: plan a trip 10 years from now??? I'm burned out right now. Surely you must be joking.
How do you recover??
It's VERY Difficult!
Being overstimulated and overwhelmed mentally and physically is No Joke!!
Many have lost Jobs, Relationships among other things Because of This!!
It's hard for Neurotypicals to understand this.
Homelessness never feels far away, the fear of that worsens the burnout but also is the only thing keeping me going. How do I escape this cycle? I already walk everywhere, I lost my car. I can't walk my way out. I can only make peace
I have been in burnout for a year now. Still have a long road ahead of me. Late diagnosis and lack of knowledge leads to disaster. I will never be able to work full time again. Thankfully I was able to get on disability. It isn't ideal, but I can survive.
Do you get pain with your burnout
@@Truerealism747 don't know if I would call it pain.
There is pain from the increased sensory sensitivity.
@@ruthhorowitz7625 I have fybromyalgia pain some say it's from the autistic burnout
I had a Huge burnout almost a decade ago!
At times, I think i still haven't recovered fully...
All you can do is take it step by step, 1 day at a time, ....1 hour, even
The world was not designed for people like us.
THIS HELPS SO MUCH!!!
To know that not only me needs so much time to recover sometimes!! I took a 2 year break after dealing with my addition to almost all drugs that exists, addiction to my narcissistic friend group then I worked some time, finally sober. Then I still was burnet out and took 1 year for healing and I feel so much better and now I still need to take it slow since I ended up in psych ward. I am so happy with my breaks, they served me so well and now I am more productive than ever but the guilt was so real bc of taking those breaks
Glad I'm not alone! ❤❤❤ this is just what I needed to hear right now. Your videos I have been playing on repeat, they are so informative and easy to understand and then apply into my life. U took so much shame and guilt off me I can not thank u enough
I absolutely love everything I've been able to see and know of you. It makes me smile knowing that you are able to take this break and experience this journey! THANK YOU for everything you do and put out here for all of us, you truly do make a ton of significant changes for so many just by sharing yourself and being who and how you are. Thank you.
I have this recurring experience with burnout that appears to be exponential, like the small concessions I make do so very little to help in the long run, that I have no choice but to double down on my burnout. I guess I'm running on dark matter.
Listening to you talk about your experiences on the Camino, and the wonderful pictures, was so inspiring, and I can feel the indescribable energy that gives.. It's an incredible achievement.. and what a journey.. I don't know if I could ever manage something like that in reality, but it makes me remember the things I love about walking and Being In The World, and maybe I will bring that into my life in a small way too. I hope your walk this year offers a similar energy but a whole new experience, especially along the coastal path.
I admire your ability to travel.
I am like a child when it comes to this , I don’t know what to do, where to go how to get there and I am full of fear, my executive functioning would not allow , I need someone to hold my hand metaphorically and sometimes physically, which is part of the reason I have had partners through my life , for that help,I realised this just lately , enjoy your independence and travel.
Wow! Yes, that makes so much sense to me, time for nervous system reset. I had a major meltdown after years of chronic illnesx and have been had been off work for an extended period, but it just wasnt enough as i continually had on loop in my head about when i go back, how i go back etc. So while over many months my body began to relax, not much else did. After nearly 12 months i just had to resign because i could feel i had plateaued and couldnt recover further with the thought of work in my head, the rest of me was constantly on the "starting block" waiting for the pistol to go off, in that hyper state. Several months on from there i am starting to feel like there may be the possibility of recovery to 100 percent somewhere in the future (next few years) instead of the "top up from 10 to 30%" to get through the next few days as i had been doing for years and only found that the top up was fading faster and going lower every time.
Thank you Paul...I really do hope that your walk will bring you the sense of control, relief and peace that you need...to see your photos from 10 years ago...I could see the peace that it gave you and from your voice I could tell that it was a rather special event in your life...stay safe...
love from Perth Scotland...😁
How the hell can you afford to not work for 18 months!
This has to be one of the most unrealistic solutions to burnout I've ever seen. I know he mean well, but even to autistic people this appears tone deaf.
A lot of good ideas, I appreciate this video. And thank you for showing the beautiful pictures of your trip!
Look forward to hearing the updates on the London event, and thankyou to you and the AFTI team for organising all this.
I’m terrible at goodbyes too….and talking is hard sometimes I can’t find words , have a good break Paul.
You take care and have a great time 💖I was so happy to find you, you make my life so much easier understanding my son better.
Your videos are so helpful. Enjoy your well deserved time-out.
Wow. Thank you for those beautiful pictures. I hope you enjoy this year’s track as well. Talk about stepping into a different world!
I hear you. I had a complete burnout in 2015. I gave still not recovered. I rest a loooot. No idea how to come back.
I wish I could take the long break, but, you know ... money. As well as life just not stopping and getting pressured from everyone around you to be either in work or looking for a job. I'm unemployed at the moment after quitting a job that heavily burned me out (lots of late nights with mind-thrashing tasks, didn't even get a real holiday of any kind this last year), and I'm playing this in one window whilst scanning a bunch of old papers in another which I wasn't able to do anything with whilst working, interspliced with jobhunting when the scanner decides IT'S had enough for a few minutes.
My body clearly just wants to sleep all day right now, but I can't get away with that, and all the crap will be waiting for me when I come back. I was kind of a zombie for the first couple weeks after quitting, and I was at least allowed that by those around me, but the grace given quickly dried up. Especially as there's been illness going around (which I've since had, and it was kind of awful) that was making them feel pretty crap as well.
It's a really nice idea, but it's also quite a privileged one I'm sorry to say. And I'm saying that whilst at least in the fortunate position of having some savings I can at least coast along with on top of benefits whilst finding something else. If I hadn't been able to build that up I'd have had to urgently find just, like, *anything*. I don't think I can get a fit note or disability support top-ups for "neurodivergent burnout".
Is there any kind of communal insurance fund we can join up to so we can take these extended periods off, at the expense of putting in contributions over the rest of the year? Without having to be self-employed and/or doing something that pulls in such a good wage that we can literally take an entire year off without pay every ten years, and more than the usual amount of time off during those years, thanks to an unusually understanding boss? ... what about a VR version of the walking trip that you can combined with a home treadmill? I've had something a little similar when renting scooters on short foreign holidays before. Just keep going and going and see where you get, then double back to the hotel and hope you get there before it's too late and dark. It's quite meditative. But the only really option at this point is playing slow-TV things like train cab dashcams on lines through scandinavia or whatever.
I am looking to work part-time if I can, with the excuse being that I need the extra time to study what with my learning difficulties, but I don't really intend to expand the hours after upgrading my qualifications, if that can then get me enough pay that I can at least get by with only 3 or 4 days a week equivalent.
@Autism From The Inside This looks gorgeous. Please enjoy your journey. Glad you won’t leave us completely Paul. You help an awful lot with many persons’ well being. Would like to do this journey someday. Spectacular journey!
Just thank you, enjoy your break, you really deserve it 😊
This was a special treat to have a livestream, thankyou so much!
I'm testing out a new thing and I'm going to try posting separate comments with my thoughts as I have them, rather trying to weave together a cohesively structured essay, so I'm sorry if this looks weird in the comments section...
(And YES having a whole essay already written perfectly in my head, but having trouble finding the energy and words and cohesion to write it in reality is a thing, and possibly an autistic thing, but I'm going to do my best..) 😅
9:11 ME. I find it so hard other than intentional things like meditation or napping to just relax by not doing anything, when others seem to be unwinding I feel a bit tense sometimes. thank you for the advice to take long breaks and resets
(Nooooo! I missed the Live. 😢)
Watching now … standby for a real comment. haha
The Camino is the best reset. Like you, I relax by doing something - mostly that's cooking. My goal is to live along the Camino, and support people who are walking the Way
I sometimes wished that I could go somewhere during vacation sometimes, doesn't even have to be another country, just somewhere further away in my country would be enough. But all the stress that travelling would cause is definitely not worth whatever I'm going to see or experience there... The last time I had been on a holiday travel had been when I was still a teen - parents pick the destination, do all the booking stuff, take care how we will get from place to place, make plans what we are going to do, make sure all the things we might need are packed and after we have come back do the laundry and then pack all of the things away again - I only had to pack my own things and even that was overwhelming enough. But even without travelling I still have plans what to do during my vacations. Because there are so many things that I simply never have the time or energy to do when I'm going to work so I just always leave them for the next vacation. And then I probably end up with so many things I would need to do that technically I would need several months of vacation... But I can't have that - three weeks in a row would be the absolute maximum allowed and even that is hardly ever given and only under certain circumstances.
Paul - one of the reasons I love your channel is you share your knowledge and insights from lived experience, whilst also appreciating that we continue to learn and grow 🌱💚 .
When I wrote my previous comments a few days ago, I was struggling to make the words come out of my brain (although I'm proud I managed it) - I don't think I fully realised I was still burnt out myself. I am now giving myself some time to rest and recuperate before I pick up work again. Yes we also need to learn to follow our own advice!!! 😄
For me, my main recovery method is caring for my garden. We upgraded from the apartment we've had for years and years to a little two bedroom, one bath house. It's little, but it has a huge back yard with raised beds and trees. The front yard is slightly smaller and also has trees. We've been in the house six months and I've been loving setting up these gardens to my liking. The back yard also has a fishpond which is been a bit trying to learn to care for, but I think I've figured it out so it's very rewarding to have that the way I want it now. Gardening is great, light impact exercise, especially if you do it the way I do without using any power tools.
My wife and I went on a trip to New Zealand and Australia for three weeks last month and memories of that are another place I go to when I need a break. I think especially about walking through the Royal Botanic Gardens in Sydney and Hobbiton Movie Set in New Zealand. I took pictures on the trip, so I like to look at them too. Great experience for a gardener and Tolkien books fan like me! We also met my wife's relatives who live in Sydney, Melbourne and the Blue Mountains, so that was an amazing experience. They are wonderful people.
Getting this little place and going on the trip wound up being great timing because I've really needed a break from burnout. About ten years ago, I started having all sorts of health problems. I was getting the flu several times each fall, winter and spring. Each time, it would take days to get over it. I also started having major digestive problems that culminated in having to have an appendectomy. That was a very depressing time as well. Then, I started gradually experiencing an increasingly long list of what turned out to be hyperparathyroidism over the course of four years. That finally resulted in surgery. Now, I'm recovering from that, but it's been hard because among the symptoms have been anxiety, depression, nerve damage and brain fog. I was having some trouble with some of those things already but they got much worse.
I had to quit my job because of these health problems making it almost impossible to work, especially to concentrate and think creatively. As you know, just being autistic and an introvert makes daily life difficult. Now, it's been even more so. I'm so glad that I have my garden and this trip we took (that was planned years ago before I got sick - I almost canceled my tickets but my wife said she'd make sure we took it slow and took lots of time for me to rest between each of the things we did on the trip. It wound up being a mostly relaxing trip except for the very stressful bits of having to go through customs in the airports. That was autistic hell. Thank God my wife understands and helped me calm down.)
Great video. Interesting little map there. I used to enjoy going on very long walks, but I've never been on one quite that long. Maybe once I stop feeling like just walking through the mall with my wife is exhausting - even with frequent sitting breaks, I'll try going on gradually longer walks again.
Best wishes for your travels, and greetings from the Isle of Wight (England).
This video is so helpful and timely for me and for my two best friends. Thank you.
Thank you for making this video. All the information I’ve learned from your channel has been incredibly helpful :)
I wish you a fantastic trip! I'm happy to see you're walking trough the Basque country. Beautiful nature, very clean and peaceful cities, lovely people and tolerable climate. Your photos looked so nice I want to ride the route on horseback now 😅
Thank you for this, it was insightful!
My big reset was getting the divorce in early March 2022. I picked up everything and moved from Olympia, WA to the Phoenix area. After a few months of living the single life, I met my current GF (which was a long distance 6-7 hour drive to ABQ for awhile). In February of this year I moved to ABQ and now work in ABQ and Santa Fe on the daily.
For those of us that cannot afford to do the astronomical things in this video (so the majority of us), this "break" for me identifies as doing EXACTLY what I want. Usually that means doing a bunch of stuff on my own.
Covid was great for me. I had a simple job at the time, made video lessons while substitute teaching a few hours a day, and spent ample time walking in solitude. Covid was a tremendous blessing, the lockdown at least. It finally gave me space to find a peace I’d never known before.
Thank you so much Paul. I find your videos so beneficial I was diagnosed 4 months ago and I'm still learning. I wish I could get a break from work there is no way I could afford it and my employer certainly would not allow that amount of time off. Happy travels. Suzanne in the uk
Today was the worst day at work. I got there determined to have a good day and started to. Then the manager (GM)that always picks on me (my coworkers and other managers see it too and said they don't like it) came over just as I was getting into my rhythm and told me I was doing it all wrong.
First I grab 18 frozen sausage patties, but I have trouble counting in a normal way. I find it easier and faster to count 4 stacks of 4 and add 2. He saw me going to start laying them down on the grill and said "why do you have it in a big stack in one hand like that." How are you going to put them down 2 at a time. (He was wanting me to use both hands to put down 2 at a time) I said, "I can't do it like that". He said, " yes you can, watch" and took them from me and started doing it for me! I told him I still can't do it that way Because it's not how the training video showed me. It said "lay the patties in the order you will remove them." If you do 2 at a time, you would then have to have a spatula in each hand to take them up and that's ridiculous!
My brain shut off and I couldn't handle anything else he said but I didn't walk away and I didn't punch him in the face either. He then lied and said I was wrong and not following procedures. Then he pointed at a picture book and said "it's in there." I said, "show me what you mean". So he opened the book and found out I was right the whole time. (Another manager that was watching all this said HE looked like he was going to cry after he proved himself wrong but I didn't notice because I wasn't looking at his face)I think he was trying to confuse me for some reason?
At that point I said "I'm going on break and stumbled away." All my coworkers and other managers saw it and said that was messed up. I went outside and crumbled to the floor and called a friend. I wanted to go get drunk and throw it all away but I didn't. I lost my appetite and was afraid to go back in because I thought I was going to get fired. Even though I didn't do anything wrong. I didn't get fired but that situation ruined the rest of my day and I got a bad headache.
Even after he left, I felt physically weak and kept forgetting things about my job and I just couldn't shake it. I asked to go home but they were busy and needed me. So I stayed. Plus he left to go to a meeting so the problem was gone, I just couldn't recover from this like I wanted to. I had to endure 7 more hours with a headache and my brain all scrambled. I had to go in the freezer and sit down a few times, but I made it through! I've decided I'm not going to run away from my problems, I think I am the problem, and so maybe I need to learn how to overcome myself.
Thank God I am safe in bed, I have a place to stay, shower, clean clothes, and an opportunity to try it again after this day off. Love you all and thank you for listening.
I have quit many jobs because of managers like that.
Wishing you a wonderful journey. I look forward to your hearing about your adventure. I'm just a concerned nan with a Grandson who is suffering greatly at this moment. With no help whatsoever. Your videos give me hope for him. ⛱️🎶💕👣🙏
Being bombarded with inputs and demands causes massive crashes. Can totally get this. Have a super relaxing enjoyable journey. Have a great trip @Autism From The Inside. Paul, so happy to see the Camino view. Wow. Awesome!
Have an amazing time, away from everything and everybody! Enjoy! And when you are back it would be nice to share some photos :) All the best!
Thank you so much for your great job! Enjoy the Camino!
Good luck on your trip, Paul.
Thank you for the videos and all the work you do
All the best for your camino. It’s on the wishlist here as well…
Thank you for your work. My wife and me are both High IQ Autistic, and recently had ADHD added to the list. (Feeling like a Pokemon; gotta catch em 😂). And suffered many multiple big and small burn-outs over the years.
Your videos are really helpful. Giving a lot of insights and also comfort in knowing we’re not alone.
We’re also a part of the living history/re-enactment community here in the Netherlands and Belgium. It’s like a retreat for HIQ/AD(H)D/ASD people.
Thank you for everything you do. Have a good and safe journey. Whenever you’re in the Netherlands; you’re always welcome to drop by.
I want to come do history re-enactments with you all in the Netherlands!! Do you need a historical costumer?? ;)
I really enjoyed your pictures Paul.. Safe journey And be well.🧑🍼
Be very thankful that you don't live in the states as like 38% or so of the employed don't get any vacation or sick days off at all and many that do is a lot less than what is expected in Europe for example so getting 18 months LOA is absolutely unheard of here.
I have Parkinson's and need to reset my nervous system. Sometimes with a 30 minute power nap and sometimes with a couple days of less physical activity.
Seams to be linked to autism Add my grandfather had it my mum had ms who just lost.i have fybromyalgia symptoms
Very helpful video. Spot on with all 3 attitudes. Number 1 is one of those I’ve experienced recently in a positive way. During covid we hired a new colleague, who couldn’t leave his place at that time, so saying that integrating in the team wasn’t easy is an understatement. It’s almost 3 years now and it still feels a bit like your other culture example. I’m the autistic guy in this well established team but I’m also the one communicating with him the most and understanding best how he feels in a particular situation. The ‘social’ guys don’t seem to have a clue. Slightly related to nr3. i will often ask my colleagues something or just during the day stand up and say “btw, this x y z. Not very important but just wanted to mention it so I can scratch it from my mental list.” Just to make them understand that sometimes there are things I have to do to not feel bad. Was weird in the beginning but it’s helping me and them now. Sometimes they even start using the same method/mechanism.
Hi Paul what a great video and sharing about the camino, I will email you soon to share more and possibly help with finding venues (I will ask some friends in Germany if they know of something). Thank you so much for what you share and for "walking your talk" by doing another Camino! Way to go! Take that time to relax and nurture yourself and enjoy life fully. Will be thinking of you on your journey sending good vibes. Ultreya.
literally everything you post is recognisable. For 3 years now have a burnout, found out 3 months ago im autistic at 30 years old. coming out of it is soooo frustrating its like your brain has so much ideas and you want to move foward with your life, just your body wants to rest so many times a day and having responsibilitys doing the normal things cleaning the home children pets and so on, and then how you deal with all of those. wanting to have stability ., giving in is the only way also do things that weenjoy when we have the energy. for sleep is a heavy blancket ( weight blancked, really helping. also not knowing when it will get better.
the really small things can make you overstimulated buth then when you are a parent you have to push trough
Good luck Paul!!
I’m planning a vacation due to burnout too!
Enjoy your break, we will be here when you return.
So helpful and inspiring this video is!
I learned from a friend to somehow cultivate my autism from within myself. It changed my life.
4:14
Sorry. I dropped my bouncy ball. 😂
Have a good break 🙏
I hope you enjoy your Camino. Basque Country is beautiful and the food is amazing.
My biggest burnout was when I moved to Spain (didn't know I was autistic back then). The only job I found at the beginning was being a door-to-door salesman. It was a torture. After the first week I was completely depleted. For the next following month, every day, I will simply go to the nearest square to lay down in a bench all day and then go back home. No eating or drinking or anything. I was so ashamed since my wife believe that I was working.. I've never been the same again, I feel I lost skills that I have never recover.
I took what turned out to be a 2.5y break after years of stress without reset. I did a few long distance walks in Europe with my dog - noit the Camino, but some of the UK's long distance trails which have many B&B or pub-stay options along the route. I must say that setting out for the day with nothing but a small day-pack and the dog at your side is incredibly freeing.
What you get from the Camino is unreal!
I'm excited for you. Go recharge and then I would love to hear about it. Your example will encourage me to find a way to recharge 😊
Best to you on your reset time and happy walking! Glad you are doing this great thing! I used to hear of Australians doing a walkabout. Is this something like that, a way to reset, or am I misinterpreting? (I'm an American).
Many times I find myself just doing meaningless tasks, "frittering away my time" I have criticized myself for this, but recently realized it was after a big time of intensity (often a social obligation) and a way to reset. The idea that each hour of each day needs to be filled with productive activity is something to recover from. As a child, I was rarely able to just do nothing, my father always gave me tasks. My dad was autistic (though didn't know it, thought it was anxiety, etc). I learned to look busy (and often was) to avoid that. I did plenty of household tasks, though. Oddly enough, doing routine household tasks (fixing, cleaning, etc) is something I use to reset since I can do them or not.
Very cool. My sister lives in Spain with her daughter. I’m yet to go! I think I would love it. It’s going to be so fun for you✅
Hello Paul, really looking forward to London's meeting!
@Marcus Rosales Hear you. Similar here. Mental abuse at work and elsewhere, and repeated cut work hours (grey area legally). Losing the friends is hard. Had most of close friends die in their thirties from accidents and cancer, otherin 40s from cancer treatment side effects. It’s harder control when stress is intense what we show to others as things get tough. At a certain point hardly functional. Can write in environments where not feeling threatened, but that’s about it. You are right. Some things just need to take their course.
Take care and have fun 💐
Have a wonderful time! ❤
@Autism From The Inside When regularly employed I’ll join the Patreon; sorry cannot now. Glad to here the group exists.
Wow...to quote myself....,"words thar work," which is my way of trying to both help other people figure out what I'm saying and also trying to get my brain to rethink what I'm trying to say to normal people.
You see, this information would have been fantastic twelve years ago when i was getting my masters. Constantly around people apl of the time. Constantly social. And my class was largely women too. You see, i actually enjoy talking about ideas. Well, some ideas. Concrete ones. If they are abstract i would rather listen. I wish i had gone on this journey ages ago.
I have worked for health care for 1 year and do stress and shift changes. I started having burnout symptoms. I started getting very emotional and struggling with insomnia. I changed my job and took 2 weeks off. I felt better for 6 months and then went back to square 1. I'm struggling really badly with insomnia. I certainly lose interest in hobbies I'm interested in, like swimming, drawing , playing sports, and so on. Also, I'm taking sleeping pills. I went to Psychologist and I was diagnosed with anxiety disorder. I'm coming to conclude that taking 3 to 6 months off is going to benefit my mental health. 2 weeks off didn't heal burnout completely.
How does one do this when you are barely above not becoming homeless?
@@alexpavalok430 my friend just lived in a wood few weeks didn't cure but helped
Beautiful to see
Thanks paul.burnout is common for me.ill lay in a dark room for about six hours.usually that is one thing that helps.thanks.👊💯
I had a car accident last week after visiting my psychiatrist's office, and was barely able to get a single vacation day for it. It was my first visit after my autism diagnosis, and I now know... I'm in heavy autistic burnout. I can't imagine having a month, let alone more, time off work. Only way that's happening is if I get divorced and become homeless...
Have a wonderful time.
Since I am now retired, burn out is no longer a threat to my being employed, which is the biggest reason for accepting the the necessity of spending huge amounts of money on keeping a car running and insured.
I'm in the UK and know several people who have walked the Camino as a pilgrimage. i once went to a talk about it and we were all given the special shell
Yes! "I need something to do." My husband is so confused by this. I say I need rest, but then don't sit still which looks like a terrible contradition.
I really wanna do this too but unfortunately I live in the USA so the likelihood of me disappearing and ending up in a mineshaft is pretty high
Could you elaborate on that a bit? Why do you think you'd wind up in a mineshaft?
Everyone has guns and hates anyone not like themselves in the US. If you're vulnerable, you're first on the menu as target practice. Pig farms used to be accessible, but now the mines are all closing...
@@crweirdo8961 Crime is a very big problem here. Kidnapping and murders is, I believe, what they were talking about.
@@contentedspirit9022 that's what I thought they were saying, but I wanted to be sure. I'm in America too, and while I know that there is a lot of crime; I think that there are probably several places where someone could do a trip on foot like this in America with very minimal risk, especially if it was with a large enough group. I'm curious if there's a specific area/route that they are worried about🤔
@@crweirdo8961 Big cities are always a problem. National Parks have become a problem, but anywhere can be a potential place for crime to occur. There is more crime now than ever before largely due to an increase in drug and gang activity. More people have come into the country in the past several years than ever and that has caused a significant increase in the crime rate. The Appalachian Trail has always been somewhere people like to walk, but it still is risky in many places. It's best to not travel or hike any distances alone. If you don't want to travel with another person, at least have a dog big enough for protection. Dogs can alert to danger before us humans know there's a potential problem. Keep in mind hiking long distances, often in remote areas at times, can also present wildlife issues. Be prepared for all potential problems or encounters (including health issues or accidents). Having a tracking device and letting people know where you are/will be is important as well. If you are looking to go hiking long distances, I hope you find your ideal place and enjoy your time). Most places are relatively safe, and it's not likely to be a problem. Planning and being prepared is most important.
And best of luck! Bien vieje!