As a child, I was so serious, so heavy, everything was SO real. As an adult, learning that everything is an illusion, I'm trying to teach myself to be playful, lighter. It's a struggle. All the world IS a stage, so can't I just decide to change characters? I'd love a video on how to be lighthearted and happy as an INFJ! It's my main goal of 2019.
@@heatherpence2145 Well that's encouraging. Anything in particular that helped you do this in the past? I'm good at being hardworking, grateful, and even content, but playful/joyful/excited/truly happy? That's pushing it. Maybe in this world, being content and grateful is more than I can even ask for. But idk, I'd love to feel naturally happy. I used to feel artificially happy from drinking/smoking pot combo but that's not an option for me any more.
Hey jasmine, I know what you mean, and I think its possible that its gotten harder with age (I'm 33 now). I have had years long stints though of going back to my goofy playful self. I remember what helped was feeling a lot like I didn't care about what those around me thought and also being bored?? I went to a college one time it was like a commune. We had nothing to do and only had a few students who hung out all the time even if we were not similar personalities. We had class, work, dorm, free time all together in the same campus in the middle of the woods. That somehow freed me to be my goofiest. I was so bored and half the people I didn't have a deep connection with so I just was like, oh well, I might as well make a fool of myself and have fun. It was a great two years and I wanna get that back. Its harder now with responsibilities and life disappointments but I do believe there's hope in that INFJs second function is Fe. So , somehow it should be very natural. We just have to.find it and tap into it. I wish you the best. I know it isn't easy feeling like why am I soooo serious?! I fed that Ni aspect of myself for so long its like drained the life out of me. I need to find how to "be myself" again.
@@heatherpence2145 Thank you so much for your reply! I totally understand what you are saying! It's interesting, I'm always thinking back on this one summer I had. I was so content and happy that summer! I had the summer off school, and didn't work. So lots of free time, no Internet! I was working out a lot, going on long walks in the woods with my little dog I had, and spending time with a few friends. I was drinking/smoking a little during that time, but you helped me realize maybe it had something to do with taking some time off, no Internet, etc. Now all I do is work! I love my work but I'm so focused on it all the time! I've never been able to be goofy but I want to learn! I believe what you focus on becomes your reality so hopefully this is possible. Thank u again, and I hope you are able to also bring that back into your life more! 😍
Dude this is actually my biggest issue I've had in my life and has pushed me into the deepest hole derealization/depersonalization. From solipsism to the simulation theory. I've thought through it all. It's been 7 years now and I'm 23 years old. This didn't make life easier for me tbh. It made life incredibly futile. So be careful how you actually start viewing these things. I have BPD tho so that makes things a bit more complicated... But I like the message of the video tho. It's definitely the best thing to play along.
I can feel your pain. I have DPD. That is why I try to go out to volunteer as possible as I can. Too much alone time makes my DPD worse. Good distractions help to disrupt my over thinking pattern and let me feel more grounded.
I also have BPD, or so they say😅😂. I've had moments where I'd feel that this is all a projection of my mind and none of it is real, even the colors seem too bright and it kinda feels 2 dimensional. Then I just panic
Semantics makes talking about this very tricky, but the you that you think you are is not real. You are not your mind. You are not your story. You are not your likes and dislikes. You are not what has happened to you. You are not your name. You are not Frank James. 'You don't have a life, you ARE life!' You are the background. The ever present NOW. The true you is always here and now, while the false ego sense of self is lost in thought and constantly kept alive by the over active mind the never wants to stop thinking. Can you step out of the constant stream of thoughts? To the ego, this is horrifying. This is ego death. But on the 'other side' of no thought is a state of KNOWING, the end to all suffering - and the 'place' where we all want to go. ('The power of NOW' by Eckhart Tolle is the book that showed me this truth)
Guess I will try and read that dang book, so many have stated that it’s helpful....Eckhart just really creeps me out for some reason, saw him on Oprah, which makes it more creepy for me.
OMFG, I love these videos. They're like the most gorgeous mix of reality, philosophy, and self-improvement, with just the right hint of humor, darkness, and the human condition. Lovely. Also, The Beatles have ruined custard for me forever. (Grrroooosssssssss.)
I miss these old fashioned stream of consciousness vlogs Frank, they’re the most real if you catch my drift, lol. I’ve been thinking something similar lately that nothing is real and also these pre conceived notions we all have about life isn’t either. It’s funny you brought up stores, because some people become so obsessed with the idea of a brand and fail to realize that in a sense it’s all an illusion. I think my background in theater helped to foster this idea as well, just before you’re about to go on stage you’re waiting in the wings and every crevice exposed. People see what they want to see, in more ways than one in a play and in life. We each have this view that we’re filtering and projecting an image of our life onto. You can never escape your own reality because that’s your experience in life and you can’t avoid it. Meditating on the reality that nothing on this earth lasts forever can give you a kind of intrepid perspective of life. Once you see that everyone that has so called arrived is just a person like you who went through similar struggles the stakes don’t become so high. Taking an elegy of your own life actually helps you to start living your life and really going after the things you want, because you acknowledge the brevity of life and also that tomorrow isn’t promised so you might as well gather ye rosebuds while ye may. While we’re on the topic I think Jeff Buckley’s “hallelujah” is one of the most hauntingly beautiful songs. P.S. FJ the philosophical gansta is a good look 😉
Chloe H. Hahaha yes the yarn ball ...that one got me too. I was thinking Yes the ball of yarn (that’s what I’ve called my need to bring people together with a thread of understanding.) be the eye of the needle Frank! Lol
Gosh, Frank! How can you think you're talking nonsense? You and a handful of other INFJs who have channels here literally saved me from going insane, thinking I can't get anything right in this world because I'm utterly flawed. Yeah, looking at things as an exercise makes them look much easier and removes tons of stress.
Lina R yep even if it’s something we already knew from long ago he just brought with him one of those moments when it hits you “ yeah nothing is real.” So this’ll help not taking myself as seriously but of course I’m going to a little... come on let’s be real.
I often wonder how people can be so sure about their perception and/or opinions. I think our perception is riddled with biases that we're often unaware of. Listening to people's thoughts about "how things are, how a person is or how events happened" with a matter-of-factly tone, makes my mind go haywire. I'd think of the what-ifs and the possible reasons of how a person arrived to such conclusions (which conclusions I'd arrive with, I'm aware, would be based on my subjective perception [which I wouldn't really consider totally invalid]). I am amazed with individuals who seem to be aware of their subjective perceptions and try to converse in a way that make that case obvious to their audience (i.e. using phrases like "I could be wrong but for me...", "as how I see it...", etc.). Take for example Jordan Peterson, he seems to know how to separate his opinions from scientifically and statistically factual data/information. I find his self-awareness really interesting and commendable. (And of course his knowledge on a whole lot of different things!)
This is a great anti-anxiety concept to keep in mind. I've never thought about it like this, I really am aware of how seriously I take life but this is actually extremely helpful for me to relax and to not take things so seriously. Thank you frank :)
Great subject- very relevant to the things i’m studying/practicing right now: 1. Literally today's Feb.15th entry in _The Daily Stoic_ : “Many of the things that upset us, the Stoics believed, are a product of the imagination, not reality. Like dreams they are vivid & realistic at the time but preposterous once we come out of it… Getting upset is like continuing the dream while you're awake. The thing that provoked you wasn't real -- but your reaction was. And so from the fake comes real consequences.” -Ryan Holiday 2. Yogachara (a system of Buddhist philosophy): “To be aware that things conceptualized are imaginary is to be able to realize we are in a dream (profoundly conditioned by our unconscious) and relax… Countless times I was trying to complete some task but was constantly plagued by impediments & errors, overwhelmed by frustration. Slowly it dawned on me: ‘This is a dream; I don't actually have to be upset about this.’” -Ben Connelly, _Inside Vasubandhu’s Yogacara_ “When we are getting really angry, we can remember that everything we are seeing & thinking is not the truth but projection. If we know this, we can taste a deep & profound sense of empowerment... we can plant the seeds that will produce more beneficial projections.”
@@PaulClermont ive just realised its called 'the practical stoic' haha why i thought it was the daily stoic ive no idea but totally recommend it all the same
You’re a deep thinker, Frank. My personal take on this life experience, is....simple. ALWAYS take the high road. Never speak those things that you’d be uncomfortable or sorry you have said. Cut yourself slack. This journey is about choosing everyday, to be caring and supportive to those you interact with. That simple. As this becomes a practice.....Life begins to reflect this back to you. “Real”...... overused word, for “what you give your attention to”. Great share, today. Thanks man.
Wow. You summed up a change of mind I had 10 years ago now. To be honest with myself and true to my values. To always take the high road, never say anything I will regret, never lie to myself, and live every moment in integrity. Makes navigating the world others live in much easier.
"Never speak those things that you’d be uncomfortable or sorry you have said." Fuck off. If you're filtering yourself, you're fake and you're not learning anything. You learn from mistakes, not from calculating the future. Being a good guy is one thing. Being a nice guy is pathetic. You act like if you're nice the world somehow owes you the same. You think successful people take the high road? No. They get ahead by manipulating fake people like you. And that's great that you live in some la la land where you're morally superior to everyone else. Have fun with that.
I understand 100%. You know Frank, I like your sensitive way of communicating. That is odd I also had that train of thought on how the world's a stage many times when I was younger. We should all live authenticlly. PERIOD.
Here goes Frank .....being frank 🤣 Let me be frank ......frankly, life is flow Moods come and go Thoughts come and go Happy, sad, good and bad Its a ride, may you find some smooth blacktop on the way And put the pedal to the metal. ✌🏽💋 Im a car guy. This makes sense to me. Whatever makes sense to you is good. Follow your bliss. Endure the rest. Peace.
People are their own stages and backstages. The backstage is where the real fears dramas and conflicts are experienced and play out. I want to be backstage, usually.
Oh Lordy is that the truth!! After stage managing several plays or doing design work of all kinds, backstage can be a full on Nightmare!!! Especially with Equity actors!!! Lol and boy oh boy the funny stories we could tell! Hahahahaha
FRANK! YOU ARE PHENOMENAL! its like you arejust sharing whats in my head man 😊🙏💜💜💛 i absolutely love these gems you drip droppin keep it goingggg!!! Stay cool fine frisky ponySaurus 🌈😎💖🔥🔥🔥🔥
This just autoplayed. Great talk, I enjoyed that. And now I can't stop singing "Ohhhh that was soooo reeee-eaaal" on repeat. Thanks for the earworm, FJ!
This is a great path Frank, keep it up! Realizing this allows us to reconcile that our fear of failure and/or our fixation on perfectionism is just as illusory. With those out of the way we can really begin to give our unique gift to the world and enrich the lives of everyone that will ever come into contact with our contribution. Even after our bodies die what we've given will continue to ripple further and further for generations to come, having a domino effect throughout the rest of the world and thus making the play that much more enjoyable for everyone else.
Its actually the 4th wall not 3rd think of a TV and something playing on it you have the right the left and what going on in the show from outside the TV us watching is the 4th wall take family guy for example....they break the 4th wall alot ya kno when sometimes Peter or whoever stops and actually talks to us... the viewers knowing he is on TV on the show that breaking the 4th wall
Yeah, I only recently have been realizing how overly seriously I take everything, especially compared to others. Especially like the words people say. And while I’d prefer to continue to be reality focused in the more metaphysical, (ancient) philosophical sense, in how I treat my own words and the moral consequences of my actions, I’ve discovered how freeing it is to realize that institutions and businesses and government bodies are filled with fallible beings that are not necessarily perfectly competent or knowledgeable, but are simply acting that way a lot of the time. And while it’s easy to think this way of them when you’re criticizing them academically or journalistically, I’ve noticed just how much my intimidation of them in the practical or professional sense is causing an internal debilitation in me. The problem with actual function based perfectionism is that it doesn’t just stop at making you want to hone your product to a pristine end, but that it sometimes slows you down to the point that you can’t start or approach or apply yourself before you feel that you’ve gathered every bit background trivia, every relevant skill or experience before you can write on something or work on something without feeling like a fraud. It’s so exhausting, and so relieving to let it go.
I absolutely love your vids! I am a 71 year old female INFP who just recently was turned on to personality traits. You have given me truths, knowledge, wisdom, with a side of awesome humor. For this I am thankful! Keep on keeping on my friend...💥❤️💥
When I moved from So Cal to Hawaii, a lot of the people here were so real/ genuine that it confused me. It was nothing I ever experienced before. Then I realized how freeing it was and that I can learn from it. Even to the point of thinking about feeling my entire foot on the ground when I walk in terms of stress and anxiety. People in Hawaii are pretty laid back - especially the older ones and I got the image in my mind one day, out of the blue, of relaxing to the point of being aware of feeling my entire foot touching the ground when I walk as if nothing can shake me or break me - in the sense that life is what I make of it for myself and not what I feel I need to be for the benefit of others. If I'm making any sense. I live with a very negative, anxious, self-absorbed person so I will always be working on this.
Great video Frank! I took some classes from a Buddhist nun on a whim and she started talking about this one day-- it can be very freeing to recognize that worry is manufactured by our brains. We can choose to worry-- or we can choose not to worry.
Exactly!! We are all in a huge play, no script, we guess what we are to say and do next. It's like a jigsaw puzzle in bits on the table waiting to be put together. When we see the finished picture, it's too late to change it...we have to live with it...like it or not. ❤💜💙💛💚🧡
Listening to you talk makes me feel not alone in my mind, with all of my thoughts that I, before you, didnt even completly understand.The sense of relatablility and understanding I feel while watching your videos reasures me that im not crazy, or at least that there are other people out there with the exact same crazy.😌
I feel this all the time. That's why I enjoy theater. Acting is liberating for me because I feel like I do it constantly anyway. Also, side note, acting is great because when I am adopting the emotions of a character I go through it with them and process emotions that I haven't dealt with for probably years. I think acting would be cathartic for many INFJ's :)
"It's all just an illusion." I've thought that more than a few times, yet for some reason, I can't seem to wrap my mind around the idea of everything that constitutes our notion of reality being just a facade for something which our level of awareness doesn't allow us to fully comprehend. It brings about a strange, unsettling feeling of not knowing what to believe. However, although contradictory, such realization is also comforting in the sense that it lets us know that there's purpose to our existence. It supports the premise that us being put in this world was not a random occurrence; we're here for a reason. Maybe there are circumstances in our lives that are imposed on us without us being able to do anything to change them. Maybe we are in fact supposed to fulfill preassigned roles and to unconsciously follow a script and enact a pre-written play of which we didn't ask to be a part, but the quality of our performance depends solely on us. Is it practice for something else? Who knows; perhaps it is. Regardless, I believe we should make the most of this thing we call life and, like you said, not take it too seriously, because whether reality or illusion, being able to experience life is a gift that was granted to us; we're supposed to enjoy it, not suffer through it. I do want to let go of unnecessary worries and stop obsessing over unimportant things. I want to live life the way life is supposed to be lived... to the fullest. I hope that you live life to the fullest, bright eyes...... ;) ;) ;)
It's like a narrator's experience of what our brains are hardwired to do. Humans have so much in common that usually what they see overlaps with what other humans see. But we have no way of knowing what is actually there. What we do know is, success feels good. Rewards feel good. Especially social rewards. Everything is practice, I wrote a song called that once. I take my practices very seriously. ;) I like to take that deeper and say, performance is a practice as well. The way I take my coffee is practice. Speaking to anyone around you is practice. Thanks for the morning brain stretch. :)
ENTP agrees, and has been playing the role for ages Yeah dude, I think this is why ENTPs and INFJs make sense of each other. We both play the game so well that we can recognize that the other one is playing when we see it Solid content as usual dude, thanks again
@@FrankJamesI am INFJ.The people will NEVER understand the TRUE us.❤❤❤Yes,the Nothing is more real than the something true real.😅I from ALWAYS loves you and i will FOREVER love you,no matter what you said.I LOVE YOU!!!😊😊😊
Oh my god!!! I swear i just fell in LOVE with you in SO MANY ways that are both very real and then just not (or in my head) I am an INFJ and hung on every word that you said while relating to you in so many ways.. You just have no idea..! The metaphors were EVVERYYTHINGG.. Thank you for that rant of pure gold! -Nicole INFJ :)
Felt this way my whole life. I've always been a spectator observing the show. Feels really weird. Whenever I go out of the house I always say I'm putting on my costume and getting into character to participate in the show 😁 as an infj this helps me to interact within this 3D show more successfully. Love the channel. Keep up the good work!
This is exactly why I find life hard. The awareness that universal truths exists aside from perception and in the end nothing matters, and as you said.. nothing is real. I have the opposite problem of bravery over fear. There aren't too many things I'm afraid to try and that's exactly what holds me back. There are too many options. Fear rushes in when needing to make a final decision. The stage can be so boring and people follow suit. It's hard to keep up on tasks in the real world. I paid my overdue taxes yesterday even though I was able to afford it the entire time.. foolish. This was enjoyable as always. Thanks for this!
I like your realisation that it's all just practice. It is. As you were speaking, it reminded me of how we're taught to set goals and, if we don't reach those goals, that means we're a failure. But if or when we reach a goal, the satisfaction only lasts for a moment and we're off again, having to find another goal. So, really, it's all about the movement toward something. That's where the life is. We need to feel like we're moving or going somewhere. There's way more satisfaction in that than achieving some particular end or outcome (or the sense of failure at not achieving a certain outcome).
Never stop the "snowball of thinking" on this, learn the box of rules each actor has and learn the scripts. It will make the stage easier on a small scale for you. Thanks for sharing this.
Frank, I'm going to apologize because this will be long, but I think it's highly relevant as well as a different take on what you've talked about in this video. For context, I work in an institution for higher education. My daily responsibilities include reviewing applications for admission. Every single day, I read the hopes and dreams of young individuals. Some want to be doctors or nurses, others want to be successful business people, and still others want to be architects and engineers. They talk about the AP classes they've taken, their volunteer hours, their participation in sports or music- none of this matters. Their entire application, for the most part, is a sham because it does not show who they really are. The most infuriating thing about my job is not being able to tell these kids that they are showcasing the wrong parts of themselves. They are only allowing us to see the parts of themselves that they *think* we will like. They think they are standing out, but really they are just fitting the mold that society has built up over the last 40 years. College admissions is a joke because honestly, unless you're an extremely poor student, most schools will take you. Our education system in the USA is so poor that we'll take pretty much anyone who is willing to pay us and screw the consequences if the student is not successful, right? Who is putting on the better show, the college or the students? My work is driving me absolutely insane because I can no longer see these hopeful students as individuals with unique qualities- society has ruined our sense of individuality and purpose. All I can do at this point is compare their applications to a predetermined checklist that holds little value for individuality or creativity. Day in and day out, I admit or reject students based on *whose* standards? For the ones I admit, I worry for their success in college because, in my mind, if they continue to fit the mold and arbitrary expectations of society then will they ever be happy with themselves? I think about this and many other truths while I work every single day, but I've not come up with answers yet. I worry for our children, our society, our way of life- If we cannot be authentic people and teach our children to be true to themselves, then I see a very dark future ahead of us. Our society is built upon rules that keep us from killing each other. That is it. We agree to follow those rules (for the most part) because we believe ourselves to be good people. Since the rules are the standard for all, they must be good, too, right? What happens when society crumbles and we stop following the rules? While the rules are arbitrary, you have to admit that they are the only thing keeping us from completely devolving into wild animals. Our ability to reason is the only thing standing in the way of our total self-annihilation. So, while we may detest the fake-ness of today's society, it may just be the only way we know how to keep things (namely, people) under control.
A great deal of the whole point of everything, the whole pyramid structure of society is to keep the soon to be 9 billion people under control. You are awakening to your place in that system as I have awakened to mine. Oh well, thank you for re-affirming my decision to homeschool. I've tasted freedom, and I love it. We read "Blood on the River" by Elisa Carbone. Now we are doing a creative writing workshop. Things they would never do in public school. Most of your students are a product of the public school system and heavy control and indoctrination. Ironic that homeschoolers are attacked with the accusation that they are "indoctrinating" their kids. ....funny.
You're right. Nothing is real! Thank you for your meaningful, honest, words of encouragement. I do appreciate everything you say, do and discourse on your channel. Thank you very much for many jobs well done! Expecting more of the same high quality contents/discourses.
You are so deep. Very inspiring. I’ve been thinking of reality and what is it??? We’re here wherever here is and we’re experiencing something. We can enjoy life but ultimately it’s not real. Just go with it and try not to stress It is freeing to let go
Thanks for sharing your thoughts so openly 😊. It’s good to hear out loud some of my inner thoughts from another being. Pessimistic optimism and the cringe as you said more socialising thoroughly cracked me up.
I've only noticed this channel today and I already feel like I've known you for many years... And yes I've figured all these out and decided to be playful with real life - you lose only when you take it seriously!
Dude, I Awakened 2 years ago, and am so glad that you are going down this road! INFJ with a spiritual outlook on life? “F”ing powerhouses! We are definitely made to do something in this world, there is too much potential inside that will be wasted if we don’t! Besides, the world needs us!
i keep watching your old vlogs and knowing you are in a different reality now feels so weird.. but listening to you talking is comforts me in the way comfort characters do if that makes sense
I have been feeling very surreal lately. And man, fear is so huge for me too...I can't believe such an intelligent, open guy like yourself has lots of fear. You really are smart
Another kind of related Beatles lyric I think about often is in the first verse of Eleanor Rigby: “Waits at the window, wearing the face that she keeps in a jar by the door.” Love the visual of keeping a face/mask by the front door to put on when going out into the world and taking off when coming back home, as normal as keeping your keys by your door.
It was no sense!!!! It was really full of sense and a big deal to share. This is for me your best video. Thank you. My boyfriend is an INFJ and it's hard to understand but you know??? I had no idea of how much he was dealing with!!!!! You help me a lot. I am an ENFJ and I hope I can do a good job. Saludos desde Mexico.
Agreed and appreciated, thank you for being a creator on this platform. I watch your videos so I don’t feel so foreign in my day to day life. (Admittedly I watch a good few) but it doesn’t change that what window I get into your thoughts and experiences helps me by reminding me it’s okay to be different
Hi Frank, I am quite a bit older than you, I have learned over the years that in order to be happy you have to try to stay in the moment. Keep your physical body busy. Enjoy the small things. I believe that we are definately here for a reason but we will never understand it all, we are not meant to know all the answers to life, so why torture ourselves. Just trust the feeling of connection to the creator, spread joy and love. Always replace negative thoughts with positive ones and carry on. Stop overthinking. When the rough moods come, let them come. Acknowledge the symptoms, give yourself permission to have them. These physical symptoms will pass. The more you worry about them the longer they last. On the subject of reality....Have you ever heard of Delores Cannon?? She dealt with regression hypnosis. Interesting stuff. She talks about reality, etc. I have been listening to her videos lately. She speaks about the soul being attached by thread, which reminded me of the theme in some of Remedios Vara's paintings. I think that some of us have been gifted with information, she may have been one, same with McCartney and Lennon. I have to remember to not take anything too seriously though. Stay in the moment and keep busy with chores and helping others. I think that many times wisdom comes with aging. May you find peace of mind and true joy my friend. Get busy!
Nikki Lynn here. well its really comforting to know that i am not the only one who thinks themselves either "out of existence" or into oblivion. I was just thinking/pondering/longing for the time/instance that i will stand up to the collected part of myself with the notion that my stand in or stunt doubles are starting to get antsey/agitated/ and sore footed to now the led breeze blocks.(aware) Used to be considered a dazzling tap dance act that bamboozle the veiwer. Well essentially - How long can i keep acting- while waiting in the wake of my abscents. ****ugh sypher of the algerythem** it is so fucking hard some times to decode into human retospect .
Thanks Frank for the reminder that the world is nothing but a stage. I had come to this conclusion years ago but in the frantic panic of life it's easy to forget that 'nothing is real'. And being able to see behind the curtain is eye opening as well as being able to see behind other people's mask.
And for pretty much all the reason that you're saying is why I moved to the country, bought a couple of acres ,and have resorted to rpg video games . It really sucks being a people magnet when you enjoy being alone, now the people I interact with don't know where I live, so I still get all the socialisation I need , without all the foolishness .
Hey, Frank, thanks for keeping it real. (sound of laughter here-spelled out- not even lol- since that would not be "real!" I like your musings! Borders on mysticism - the good kind only. Keep contemplating the infinite possibilities and differing perspectives. Life is beautiful and abundantly joyful when lived in a state of awareness. Worth striving for or surrendering to that state of mind and heart. God Bless!
Exactly! I've felt this way a couple decades now. Nothing really matters. Everything is temporary, in 100yrs we'll all be in the ground for the most part.
look long before I knew about mbti and stuff, I had this feeling and I was diagnosed with "depersonalization and derealization disorder". As an INFJ, I was always really used to those kind of feelings, such as feeling like you're out of your own body, or like everthing just feels like an unreal movie. Personally, I used to feel like I was flying over my own head. Even if you guys are used to this feelings, it's always a good idea to investigate if therapy is needed.
I realised this when I got my first job out of uni as a PA for an IT Director in a charity that does stem cells and blood transfusions. People hardly had a clue what they were doing but things still got done somehow. In a place as time critical and sensitive as that, I realised that it's okay to not know things because it seems like no one does. We rely on these systems and processes o my for us to see them change and shift we are left standing scrambling for something recognisable. It's comforting and scary at the same time. I would suggest listening to the Podcast How I Built This to everyone who listens to me. It was life changing for me, not just inspired to start a business but not to get anxious about the what I'm doing day to day. Tldr: there is genuinely really no tricks in life lol you just got Liv it to the happiest of your ability and hope luck lands on you once in a while
FJ, it makes sense. I've been thinking about that for about two years now. Nothing is real. I heard a saying, "My soul is not contained within the limits of my body; my body is contained within the limitlessness of my soul." It's so deep that it's difficult to explain. At least for me at the moment. I love your brain container, by the way. You are my favorite face to look at. 😍💙😏😉 #INFJ
Thank you for being on youtube .. You Enlighten this place .. You make very sense frank .. I went through that as well ... And I finally do think that Death is the only truth ..of all this life .. The rest is just going as it has to be .. No one knows how no one controls how ! It is just how it is .. I might be wrong .. But it doesn't matter that's the way I perceive life .. Again thanks for ... Being here 💛
Also this video just made me think of when I was a kid at Valleyfair, and I saw the like mechanical boring junk that's necessary for the ride to work but they kind of try to hide it because it's not the magical excitement that the ride is decorated to be. When i would see that, it would just make me feel depressed, and as I kid I had no idea why.
I've been thinking about something similar to this too. I was thinking if it was possible for everyone in the world to be happy. The answer is no. The best we can do is to help everyone become mentally healthy and mature. The world would definitely be at its optimum this way. So let's try to do it. (You know the same thing as protecting nature? Every little bit matters. (I've seen some articles about how little bits don't matter much but pls don't argue with me I have no other examples for what I've written lol))
Dude that's wild man. I just had the same realization tonight and then I catch your video immediately after. That's one hell of an affirmation! Thanks fj!
I was helping a friend by explaining it almost exactly that way. It's sending my mind into a spiralling woooooaaah man. People are so afraid of death they avoid it's contemplation. It's freeing that's the worst failure so nothing else matters. Hahaha Weeeeee
Sorry Frank, I couldn't follow everything you said, I couldn't find a big hat, not a real one anyway. "For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known. " Peace friend.
Who told you that you were allowed to make me think and have emotions this early, Frank? Smh. This has been the central struggle of my life - trying to find meaning in a reality that I perceive as senseless in a lot of ways. I was raised in a very church-centric environment, where everything was ~God’s plan~. But I always questioned that, and of course, felt guilty for questioning that. I’ve kinda made reference to this before, but two of my cousins were born with terminal illnesses, and I could never square that reality with the idea that everything was part of a plan. Like, I have to watch two of my closest loved ones die young and never experience all those important life milestones we take for granted, but my dumb ass gets to just go on? Why? I ended up coming to the conclusion that our lives are just senseless in many ways, and even though that might seem dark, it helped. I guess the way I’d describe my viewpoint is that nothing has significance until you ascribe significance to it (aka I took semiotics in college and kinda paid attention). When I saw it from that perspective, I was able to understand that people telling me that unfair things were a part of some grand plan was them trying to make some kinda sense of the unpredictability that is life. I don’t think my mind will ever work that way, but I don’t see it as the moral failing I once did. Patton Oswalt did a great stand-up act after his wife died with the central message of “life is chaos, be kind.” That really rings true to me. And as goofy as I sometimes feel playing a role, especially when I’m teaching, there’s some joy in having the capacity to play a role that someone needs you to play in their lives, like being the supportive adult to a kid who needs it, or the sounding board for a friend. Living by my own set of ideals and believing it’s my job to be a kind person in a world where senseless, shitty things happen all the time has given me a lot of peace and made a huge difference in how I view things.
I totally understand where you’re coming from. I’ve lost someone very close to me and it hurts, but worse, it doesn’t make sense. I also happen to live with a chronic-unremitting headache that’s lasted for five years and trying to make sense of that ~grand plan~ is really hard. I’m not trying to force a Christian perspective on you, but what does help me is the hope that despite how terrible this world may be that God has allowed access for us to participate in the restoration of the earth. The story of the Bible is about the hope of one day seeing heaven and earth reunited. It doesn’t bring immediate comfort, granted, but it provides an optimistic understanding where things go wrong.
Kyle Stateler That is a good way to look at it! :) My heart goes out to you on the loss and the headache...I have chronic migraines, and while that definitely doesn’t compare to your situation, it’s enough to know how hard it can be to have a positive attitude when your body doesn’t want to cooperate. 😩
"Be the change you want to see in the World." Holly, I'm sorry for your pain and struggle with the way you were raised and the questions you had and the unfairness it must have felt like to have to work so hard to choose your own path that others are granted at birth. I relate. I struggle with God on the issue of suffering, largely my own, and I don't have the answers. But I do feel for you. I can imagine the years of turmoil you summed into one paragraph, will never show others or justify for you what you've seen. I just want to say, I think God agrees. This life HAS GOT to be a heart wrenching disappointment to Him as well. I believe our own understanding of what should have been and what is ethically right is only in us because it came from Him. And so, He may not make it all right now... But He will in the end. I believe that. We can't even imagine eternity. And I don't diminish anyone's suffering, I myself feel I can't stand under the weight of it... But don't give up on Him altogether. I believe He hurts with us , and all the more knowing that we don't see all the truth that He sees , to see and know that He is love and He is good and in the end our lives are not losing anything in comparison to what we gain. It must kill Him not to reach down and tell us when we need it. But if He is the source of this thing I know as love, He deserves trust and He will make more than amends.
@@hollyp.8849 I hear that Dearest Holly! I've got Trigeminal Neuralgia and a long list of other diagnosis' that just piss me off to the point of wanting to spit! And am soooooo grateful we are all here together!
This is exactly where I've been at lately. Nothing is real. A cosmic curtain is always just beyond the field of my vision waiting to be pulled back, SURPRISE!
This makes so much sense, I never understood this when I first noticed it. I would feel like I could just do anything but I know I’m supposed to do another thing, like I know how to act but it’s like there’s so many other possibilities in my mind that just don’t fit into my act as an employee and a citizen. And I feel like I’m pretending to be someone at work and I feel crazy because it seems like most people don’t realize they’re doing this, but I’m so aware of it it’s like pulling strings on a marionette to do what I know I do every day but it feels so forced. I have never been able to find a job I like because my role is always so far off from how I’d act as my genuine self.
Climbing into my brain and making things make sense. 👌 I'm a fairly heavy Catholic though so my version of this goes into the meditation of life is a mess and no one knows what they're doing, but there's a beautiful unity in that. All the things that seem to matter to the world are in fact all futile. On our death beds, few of us will care about how many vacations we took, whether we got the big promotion, or even about the times we embarrassed ourselves. The people in our lives are the most important things, how we treated them, how we loved. If we made a positive impact. For me it makes sense then because I believe in an afterlife, and heaven, and that's all that matters. The rest is distraction, and really is an illusion, and not real. It's just our busyness, our worries, our stuff, which is all made up by people who don't really know what they're doing. The sorrowful mystery of the rosary makes me feel oddly better because it follows Jesus in his passion, and I think, wow that's terrible. Life is a series of anxieties, abandonment, pain and suffering, followed by death. But it's supposed to be. It's how you do it and how you help and connect to others that matters. That's all that matters. Done rambling now.
As a child, I was so serious, so heavy, everything was SO real. As an adult, learning that everything is an illusion, I'm trying to teach myself to be playful, lighter. It's a struggle. All the world IS a stage, so can't I just decide to change characters? I'd love a video on how to be lighthearted and happy as an INFJ! It's my main goal of 2019.
My goals too. I used to be at different points in my life. So I know its possible
@@heatherpence2145 Well that's encouraging. Anything in particular that helped you do this in the past? I'm good at being hardworking, grateful, and even content, but playful/joyful/excited/truly happy? That's pushing it. Maybe in this world, being content and grateful is more than I can even ask for. But idk, I'd love to feel naturally happy. I used to feel artificially happy from drinking/smoking pot combo but that's not an option for me any more.
Hey jasmine, I know what you mean, and I think its possible that its gotten harder with age (I'm 33 now). I have had years long stints though of going back to my goofy playful self. I remember what helped was feeling a lot like I didn't care about what those around me thought and also being bored?? I went to a college one time it was like a commune. We had nothing to do and only had a few students who hung out all the time even if we were not similar personalities. We had class, work, dorm, free time all together in the same campus in the middle of the woods. That somehow freed me to be my goofiest. I was so bored and half the people I didn't have a deep connection with so I just was like, oh well, I might as well make a fool of myself and have fun. It was a great two years and I wanna get that back. Its harder now with responsibilities and life disappointments but I do believe there's hope in that INFJs second function is Fe. So , somehow it should be very natural. We just have to.find it and tap into it. I wish you the best. I know it isn't easy feeling like why am I soooo serious?! I fed that Ni aspect of myself for so long its like drained the life out of me. I need to find how to "be myself" again.
Also, we didn't have TV or internet. **shrug**
@@heatherpence2145 Thank you so much for your reply! I totally understand what you are saying! It's interesting, I'm always thinking back on this one summer I had. I was so content and happy that summer! I had the summer off school, and didn't work. So lots of free time, no Internet! I was working out a lot, going on long walks in the woods with my little dog I had, and spending time with a few friends. I was drinking/smoking a little during that time, but you helped me realize maybe it had something to do with taking some time off, no Internet, etc. Now all I do is work! I love my work but I'm so focused on it all the time! I've never been able to be goofy but I want to learn! I believe what you focus on becomes your reality so hopefully this is possible. Thank u again, and I hope you are able to also bring that back into your life more! 😍
"Nothing is true. Everything is permitted." Just a quote from a videogame throws me into an endless debate inside my head.
Dude this is actually my biggest issue I've had in my life and has pushed me into the deepest hole derealization/depersonalization. From solipsism to the simulation theory. I've thought through it all. It's been 7 years now and I'm 23 years old. This didn't make life easier for me tbh. It made life incredibly futile. So be careful how you actually start viewing these things. I have BPD tho so that makes things a bit more complicated... But I like the message of the video tho. It's definitely the best thing to play along.
I can feel your pain. I have DPD. That is why I try to go out to volunteer as possible as I can. Too much alone time makes my DPD worse. Good distractions help to disrupt my over thinking pattern and let me feel more grounded.
I started going through that over a year ago. Feels like a black hole is gonna open up any second and suck me up. The most lost feeling.
I have BPD and DP/DR too and I had the same thing. Sure it takes the pressure off but it also drains the meaning out of life.
It’s so much easier to stay blind and not give a crap. But when it hits you, it’s like a dark abyss of reality
I also have BPD, or so they say😅😂. I've had moments where I'd feel that this is all a projection of my mind and none of it is real, even the colors seem too bright and it kinda feels 2 dimensional. Then I just panic
Semantics makes talking about this very tricky, but the you that you think you are is not real.
You are not your mind. You are not your story.
You are not your likes and dislikes.
You are not what has happened to you.
You are not your name.
You are not Frank James.
'You don't have a life, you ARE life!'
You are the background. The ever present NOW.
The true you is always here and now, while the false ego sense of self is lost in thought and constantly kept alive by the over active mind the never wants to stop thinking.
Can you step out of the constant stream of thoughts? To the ego, this is horrifying. This is ego death. But on the 'other side' of no thought is a state of KNOWING, the end to all suffering - and the 'place' where we all want to go.
('The power of NOW' by Eckhart Tolle is the book that showed me this truth)
Kevin Groves Great book :)
AMAZING bro👏👏👏👏
That's a very good book
❤️❤️❤️
Guess I will try and read that dang book, so many have stated that it’s helpful....Eckhart just really creeps me out for some reason, saw him on Oprah, which makes it more creepy for me.
OMFG, I love these videos. They're like the most gorgeous mix of reality, philosophy, and self-improvement, with just the right hint of humor, darkness, and the human condition. Lovely.
Also, The Beatles have ruined custard for me forever. (Grrroooosssssssss.)
I miss these old fashioned stream of consciousness vlogs Frank, they’re the most real if you catch my drift, lol. I’ve been thinking something similar lately that nothing is real and also these pre conceived notions we all have about life isn’t either. It’s funny you brought up stores, because some people become so obsessed with the idea of a brand and fail to realize that in a sense it’s all an illusion. I think my background in theater helped to foster this idea as well, just before you’re about to go on stage you’re waiting in the wings and every crevice exposed. People see what they want to see, in more ways than one in a play and in life. We each have this view that we’re filtering and projecting an image of our life onto. You can never escape your own reality because that’s your experience in life and you can’t avoid it. Meditating on the reality that nothing on this earth lasts forever can give you a kind of intrepid perspective of life. Once you see that everyone that has so called arrived is just a person like you who went through similar struggles the stakes don’t become so high. Taking an elegy of your own life actually helps you to start living your life and really going after the things you want, because you acknowledge the brevity of life and also that tomorrow isn’t promised so you might as well gather ye rosebuds while ye may. While we’re on the topic I think Jeff Buckley’s “hallelujah” is one of the most hauntingly beautiful songs. P.S. FJ the philosophical gansta is a good look 😉
I just tripped over your yarn ball into Strawberry Fields.
Chloe H. Hahaha yes the yarn ball ...that one got me too. I was thinking Yes the ball of yarn (that’s what I’ve called my need to bring people together with a thread of understanding.) be the eye of the needle Frank! Lol
@@kaszijames9111 It was solid imagery!
i can still understand
Gosh, Frank! How can you think you're talking nonsense? You and a handful of other INFJs who have channels here literally saved me from going insane, thinking I can't get anything right in this world because I'm utterly flawed. Yeah, looking at things as an exercise makes them look much easier and removes tons of stress.
Lina R yep even if it’s something we already knew from long ago he just brought with him one of those moments when it hits you “ yeah nothing is real.” So this’ll help not taking myself as seriously but of course I’m going to a little... come on let’s be real.
@@kaszijames9111 :)
Lina R can you recommend others please?
“Reality is when sh*t happens to you.” I saw that on a bumper sticker whilst in the throes of my mid-life crisis, and felt instant recognition.
Giving an opinion is so hard when you know that an opinion is nothing but the subjective perspective of an event, thats my opinion xd
I often wonder how people can be so sure about their perception and/or opinions. I think our perception is riddled with biases that we're often unaware of. Listening to people's thoughts about "how things are, how a person is or how events happened" with a matter-of-factly tone, makes my mind go haywire. I'd think of the what-ifs and the possible reasons of how a person arrived to such conclusions (which conclusions I'd arrive with, I'm aware, would be based on my subjective perception [which I wouldn't really consider totally invalid]).
I am amazed with individuals who seem to be aware of their subjective perceptions and try to converse in a way that make that case obvious to their audience (i.e. using phrases like "I could be wrong but for me...", "as how I see it...", etc.).
Take for example Jordan Peterson, he seems to know how to separate his opinions from scientifically and statistically factual data/information. I find his self-awareness really interesting and commendable. (And of course his knowledge on a whole lot of different things!)
This is what happens when you stop drinking 😂 speaking from experience here...
Lacie Buckwild 😆🙌🏼
This is a great anti-anxiety concept to keep in mind. I've never thought about it like this, I really am aware of how seriously I take life but this is actually extremely helpful for me to relax and to not take things so seriously. Thank you frank :)
Good morning Frank. You had me laughing "ow that hurts Charlie!"
Great subject- very relevant to the things i’m studying/practicing right now:
1. Literally today's Feb.15th entry in _The Daily Stoic_ :
“Many of the things that upset us, the Stoics believed, are a product of the imagination, not reality. Like dreams they are vivid & realistic at the time but preposterous once we come out of it…
Getting upset is like continuing the dream while you're awake. The thing that provoked you wasn't real -- but your reaction was. And so from the fake comes real consequences.” -Ryan Holiday
2. Yogachara (a system of Buddhist philosophy):
“To be aware that things conceptualized are imaginary is to be able to realize we are in a dream (profoundly conditioned by our unconscious) and relax…
Countless times I was trying to complete some task but was constantly plagued by impediments & errors, overwhelmed by frustration. Slowly it dawned on me: ‘This is a dream; I don't actually have to be upset about this.’” -Ben Connelly, _Inside Vasubandhu’s Yogacara_
“When we are getting really angry, we can remember that everything we are seeing & thinking is not the truth but projection. If we know this, we can taste a deep & profound sense of empowerment...
we can plant the seeds that will produce more beneficial projections.”
Great podcast the daily stoic
@@kaz2910 Oh cool- does Ryan Holiday do the podcast as well? or is it another Stoicism enthusiast
@@PaulClermont his name is Simon Drew
@@PaulClermont ive just realised its called 'the practical stoic' haha why i thought it was the daily stoic ive no idea but totally recommend it all the same
2 years late but I had to say thank-you for putting this up.💖 Wonderful comment!
You’re a deep thinker, Frank. My personal take on this life experience, is....simple. ALWAYS take the high road. Never speak those things that you’d be uncomfortable or sorry you have said. Cut yourself slack. This journey is about choosing everyday, to be caring and supportive to those you interact with. That simple. As this becomes a practice.....Life begins to reflect this back to you. “Real”...... overused word, for “what you give your attention to”. Great share, today. Thanks man.
Wow. You summed up a change of mind I had 10 years ago now. To be honest with myself and true to my values. To always take the high road, never say anything I will regret, never lie to myself, and live every moment in integrity. Makes navigating the world others live in much easier.
"Never speak those things that you’d be uncomfortable or sorry you have said."
Fuck off. If you're filtering yourself, you're fake and you're not learning anything.
You learn from mistakes, not from calculating the future.
Being a good guy is one thing. Being a nice guy is pathetic.
You act like if you're nice the world somehow owes you the same.
You think successful people take the high road? No. They get ahead by manipulating fake people like you.
And that's great that you live in some la la land where you're morally superior to everyone else. Have fun with that.
I understand 100%. You know Frank, I like your sensitive way of communicating. That is odd I also had that train of thought on how the world's a stage many times when I was younger. We should all live authenticlly. PERIOD.
This video reminded me of realizing how to use my fourth function si. It was like finding the eye of a storm in my mind.
You make me feel less crazy. It's good to hear people with the same thoughts and questions.
pls do more of these old fashioned vlogs, they're actually the reason i've been subscribed for so long (:
Here goes Frank
.....being frank 🤣
Let me be frank
......frankly, life is flow
Moods come and go
Thoughts come and go
Happy, sad, good and bad
Its a ride, may you find some smooth blacktop on the way
And put the pedal to the metal.
✌🏽💋
Im a car guy. This makes sense to me. Whatever makes sense to you is good. Follow your bliss. Endure the rest. Peace.
David Wilder dig the poem:)
Just checked out your channel. Very very cool.
@@jessedunn5563 not exactly wordsworth it was the best i could do at the time 😊
People are their own stages and backstages. The backstage is where the real fears dramas and conflicts are experienced and play out. I want to be backstage, usually.
Oh Lordy is that the truth!!
After stage managing several plays or doing design work of all kinds, backstage can be a full on Nightmare!!! Especially with Equity actors!!! Lol and boy oh boy the funny stories we could tell! Hahahahaha
“Be bold and mighty forces will come to your aid.” 💛
FRANK! YOU ARE PHENOMENAL! its like you arejust sharing whats in my head man 😊🙏💜💜💛 i absolutely love these gems you drip droppin keep it goingggg!!! Stay cool fine frisky ponySaurus 🌈😎💖🔥🔥🔥🔥
People lie so much to others and to themselves so much if you pay attention closely.
This just autoplayed. Great talk, I enjoyed that.
And now I can't stop singing "Ohhhh that was soooo reeee-eaaal" on repeat. Thanks for the earworm, FJ!
This is a great path Frank, keep it up! Realizing this allows us to reconcile that our fear of failure and/or our fixation on perfectionism is just as illusory. With those out of the way we can really begin to give our unique gift to the world and enrich the lives of everyone that will ever come into contact with our contribution. Even after our bodies die what we've given will continue to ripple further and further for generations to come, having a domino effect throughout the rest of the world and thus making the play that much more enjoyable for everyone else.
I think you just broke the third wall. Lol
No. He broke the ceiling.
Its actually the 4th wall not 3rd think of a TV and something playing on it you have the right the left and what going on in the show from outside the TV us watching is the 4th wall take family guy for example....they break the 4th wall alot ya kno when sometimes Peter or whoever stops and actually talks to us... the viewers knowing he is on TV on the show that breaking the 4th wall
Thank you for speaking about this. I think about this all the time but can never find the right words for it
Yeah, I only recently have been realizing how overly seriously I take everything, especially compared to others. Especially like the words people say. And while I’d prefer to continue to be reality focused in the more metaphysical, (ancient) philosophical sense, in how I treat my own words and the moral consequences of my actions, I’ve discovered how freeing it is to realize that institutions and businesses and government bodies are filled with fallible beings that are not necessarily perfectly competent or knowledgeable, but are simply acting that way a lot of the time. And while it’s easy to think this way of them when you’re criticizing them academically or journalistically, I’ve noticed just how much my intimidation of them in the practical or professional sense is causing an internal debilitation in me. The problem with actual function based perfectionism is that it doesn’t just stop at making you want to hone your product to a pristine end, but that it sometimes slows you down to the point that you can’t start or approach or apply yourself before you feel that you’ve gathered every bit background trivia, every relevant skill or experience before you can write on something or work on something without feeling like a fraud. It’s so exhausting, and so relieving to let it go.
Yeah buddy we're all on the same page here, were very UNIQUE...thnx Frank great video
I absolutely love your vids! I am a 71 year old female INFP who just recently was turned on to personality traits. You have given me truths, knowledge, wisdom, with a side of awesome humor. For this I am thankful! Keep on keeping on my friend...💥❤️💥
Once again, Thankyou Frank 🙏
Ouch... oouucchh...ouch Charlie!.. Charlie bit me... those kids must be at least 40 by now spawning mini Charlie's to carry on the legacy.
Everything you say is so true.
Damn I miss seeing you in these kind of videos, talking about life as it is, it's so beautiful.
When I moved from So Cal to Hawaii, a lot of the people here were so real/ genuine that it confused me. It was nothing I ever experienced before. Then I realized how freeing it was and that I can learn from it.
Even to the point of thinking about feeling my entire foot on the ground when I walk in terms of stress and anxiety. People in Hawaii are pretty laid back - especially the older ones and I got the image in my mind one day, out of the blue, of relaxing to the point of being aware of feeling my entire foot touching the ground when I walk as if nothing can shake me or break me - in the sense that life is what I make of it for myself and not what I feel I need to be for the benefit of others. If I'm making any sense.
I live with a very negative, anxious, self-absorbed person so I will always be working on this.
Great video Frank! I took some classes from a Buddhist nun on a whim and she started talking about this one day-- it can be very freeing to recognize that worry is manufactured by our brains. We can choose to worry-- or we can choose not to worry.
Thank you. You've just changed everything.
So deep. There is nothing to get hung about. Bravo my boy 💪
Exactly!! We are all in a huge play, no script, we guess what we are to say and do next. It's like a jigsaw puzzle in bits on the table waiting to be put together. When we see the finished picture, it's too late to change it...we have to live with it...like it or not. ❤💜💙💛💚🧡
Listening to you talk makes me feel not alone in my mind, with all of my thoughts that I, before you, didnt even completly understand.The sense of relatablility and understanding I feel while watching your videos reasures me that im not crazy, or at least that there are other people out there with the exact same crazy.😌
I feel this all the time. That's why I enjoy theater. Acting is liberating for me because I feel like I do it constantly anyway. Also, side note, acting is great because when I am adopting the emotions of a character I go through it with them and process emotions that I haven't dealt with for probably years. I think acting would be cathartic for many INFJ's :)
I'm "ascared" and comforted at the same time
"It's all just an illusion." I've thought that more than a few times, yet for some reason, I can't seem to wrap my mind around the idea of everything that constitutes our notion of reality being just a facade for something which our level of awareness doesn't allow us to fully comprehend. It brings about a strange, unsettling feeling of not knowing what to believe. However, although contradictory, such realization is also comforting in the sense that it lets us know that there's purpose to our existence. It supports the premise that us being put in this world was not a random occurrence; we're here for a reason. Maybe there are circumstances in our lives that are imposed on us without us being able to do anything to change them. Maybe we are in fact supposed to fulfill preassigned roles and to unconsciously follow a script and enact a pre-written play of which we didn't ask to be a part, but the quality of our performance depends solely on us. Is it practice for something else? Who knows; perhaps it is. Regardless, I believe we should make the most of this thing we call life and, like you said, not take it too seriously, because whether reality or illusion, being able to experience life is a gift that was granted to us; we're supposed to enjoy it, not suffer through it. I do want to let go of unnecessary worries and stop obsessing over unimportant things. I want to live life the way life is supposed to be lived... to the fullest. I hope that you live life to the fullest, bright eyes...... ;) ;) ;)
It's like a narrator's experience of what our brains are hardwired to do. Humans have so much in common that usually what they see overlaps with what other humans see. But we have no way of knowing what is actually there. What we do know is, success feels good. Rewards feel good. Especially social rewards.
Everything is practice, I wrote a song called that once. I take my practices very seriously. ;) I like to take that deeper and say, performance is a practice as well. The way I take my coffee is practice. Speaking to anyone around you is practice.
Thanks for the morning brain stretch. :)
Beautiful!!!!!:)
I was missing your podcast. This video came at the right time
These are my most inner thoughts. I've never heard them condensed and organized in such a way.
This is madness and i am totally with you. Thank you for nice explanation.
ENTP agrees, and has been playing the role for ages
Yeah dude, I think this is why ENTPs and INFJs make sense of each other. We both play the game so well that we can recognize that the other one is playing when we see it
Solid content as usual dude, thanks again
thanks, man!
@@FrankJamesI am INFJ.The people will NEVER understand the TRUE us.❤❤❤Yes,the Nothing is more real than the something true real.😅I from ALWAYS loves you and i will FOREVER love you,no matter what you said.I LOVE YOU!!!😊😊😊
The whole thing was straight up truth. As they say "you hit the nail on the head" ... perfect and thank you for being 'you' 🤗👍
Thank you for putting into words what I have tried for so long to articulate
Oh my god!!! I swear i just fell in LOVE with you in SO MANY ways that are both very real and then just not (or in my head) I am an INFJ and hung on every word that you said while relating to you in so many ways.. You just have no idea..! The metaphors were EVVERYYTHINGG.. Thank you for that rant of pure gold!
-Nicole INFJ :)
Felt this way my whole life. I've always been a spectator observing the show. Feels really weird. Whenever I go out of the house I always say I'm putting on my costume and getting into character to participate in the show 😁 as an infj this helps me to interact within this 3D show more successfully. Love the channel. Keep up the good work!
"Living is easy with eyes closed."
This is exactly why I find life hard. The awareness that universal truths exists aside from perception and in the end nothing matters, and as you said.. nothing is real. I have the opposite problem of bravery over fear. There aren't too many things I'm afraid to try and that's exactly what holds me back. There are too many options. Fear rushes in when needing to make a final decision. The stage can be so boring and people follow suit. It's hard to keep up on tasks in the real world. I paid my overdue taxes yesterday even though I was able to afford it the entire time.. foolish. This was enjoyable as always. Thanks for this!
I love your Beatles mug!!
So true, over the past few months just had that realisation, it's freeing and sometimes scary
I like your realisation that it's all just practice. It is. As you were speaking, it reminded me of how we're taught to set goals and, if we don't reach those goals, that means we're a failure. But if or when we reach a goal, the satisfaction only lasts for a moment and we're off again, having to find another goal. So, really, it's all about the movement toward something. That's where the life is. We need to feel like we're moving or going somewhere. There's way more satisfaction in that than achieving some particular end or outcome (or the sense of failure at not achieving a certain outcome).
Shook my head yes all the way through. Again. Thanks.
Never stop the "snowball of thinking" on this, learn the box of rules each actor has and learn the scripts. It will make the stage easier on a small scale for you. Thanks for sharing this.
This is what I think about when I smoke weed alone too much. Lol
😂😂
lol
It can be fun, but I mostly like my so called normal mind anymore.
L J we don’t really need drugs though really.😂 We are LSD.
L J beautiful girls and boys, don’t smoke, it’s bad for your skin.. Start baking brownies!!!!
Frank, I'm going to apologize because this will be long, but I think it's highly relevant as well as a different take on what you've talked about in this video. For context, I work in an institution for higher education. My daily responsibilities include reviewing applications for admission. Every single day, I read the hopes and dreams of young individuals. Some want to be doctors or nurses, others want to be successful business people, and still others want to be architects and engineers. They talk about the AP classes they've taken, their volunteer hours, their participation in sports or music- none of this matters. Their entire application, for the most part, is a sham because it does not show who they really are.
The most infuriating thing about my job is not being able to tell these kids that they are showcasing the wrong parts of themselves. They are only allowing us to see the parts of themselves that they *think* we will like. They think they are standing out, but really they are just fitting the mold that society has built up over the last 40 years. College admissions is a joke because honestly, unless you're an extremely poor student, most schools will take you. Our education system in the USA is so poor that we'll take pretty much anyone who is willing to pay us and screw the consequences if the student is not successful, right? Who is putting on the better show, the college or the students?
My work is driving me absolutely insane because I can no longer see these hopeful students as individuals with unique qualities- society has ruined our sense of individuality and purpose. All I can do at this point is compare their applications to a predetermined checklist that holds little value for individuality or creativity. Day in and day out, I admit or reject students based on *whose* standards? For the ones I admit, I worry for their success in college because, in my mind, if they continue to fit the mold and arbitrary expectations of society then will they ever be happy with themselves?
I think about this and many other truths while I work every single day, but I've not come up with answers yet. I worry for our children, our society, our way of life- If we cannot be authentic people and teach our children to be true to themselves, then I see a very dark future ahead of us. Our society is built upon rules that keep us from killing each other. That is it. We agree to follow those rules (for the most part) because we believe ourselves to be good people. Since the rules are the standard for all, they must be good, too, right? What happens when society crumbles and we stop following the rules? While the rules are arbitrary, you have to admit that they are the only thing keeping us from completely devolving into wild animals. Our ability to reason is the only thing standing in the way of our total self-annihilation. So, while we may detest the fake-ness of today's society, it may just be the only way we know how to keep things (namely, people) under control.
A great deal of the whole point of everything, the whole pyramid structure of society is to keep the soon to be 9 billion people under control. You are awakening to your place in that system as I have awakened to mine.
Oh well, thank you for re-affirming my decision to homeschool.
I've tasted freedom, and I love it.
We read "Blood on the River" by Elisa Carbone. Now we are doing a creative writing workshop. Things they would never do in public school. Most of your students are a product of the public school system and heavy control and indoctrination. Ironic that homeschoolers are attacked with the accusation that they are "indoctrinating" their kids. ....funny.
I know this is an old comment, but it really hit me. So many good points. 🤯
You're right. Nothing is real! Thank you for your meaningful, honest, words of encouragement. I do appreciate everything you say, do and discourse on your channel. Thank you very much for many jobs well done! Expecting more of the same high quality contents/discourses.
So true the paradox must be stopped at all costs! I had a lava lamp! Cool digs and style on pointe! Thank-you Frank.💜🕊💞👍👍
You are so deep. Very inspiring. I’ve been thinking of reality and what is it??? We’re here wherever here is and we’re experiencing something. We can enjoy life but ultimately it’s not real. Just go with it and try not to stress It is freeing to let go
Thanks for sharing your thoughts so openly 😊. It’s good to hear out loud some of my inner thoughts from another being. Pessimistic optimism and the cringe as you said more socialising thoroughly cracked me up.
I've only noticed this channel today and I already feel like I've known you for many years... And yes I've figured all these out and decided to be playful with real life - you lose only when you take it seriously!
Dude, I Awakened 2 years ago, and am so glad that you are going down this road! INFJ with a spiritual outlook on life? “F”ing powerhouses! We are definitely made to do something in this world, there is too much potential inside that will be wasted if we don’t! Besides, the world needs us!
Excellent video, nothing is real, it’s all but a dream! As the late great Bill Hicks said “it’s just a ride”
i keep watching your old vlogs and knowing you are in a different reality now feels so weird.. but listening to you talking is comforts me in the way comfort characters do if that makes sense
Hey, Frank.
Watching Yellow Submarine taught me “It’s all in the mind.”
nice :)
Frank James 🙂
I have been feeling very surreal lately. And man, fear is so huge for me too...I can't believe such an intelligent, open guy like yourself has lots of fear. You really are smart
This makes so much sense. Realizing that my negative thought patterns and perception were not reality helped me get over depression when I relapsed.
this video really made me realize the point of living. the purpose. it really helped me come to my senses and figure out what actually matters
Another kind of related Beatles lyric I think about often is in the first verse of Eleanor Rigby:
“Waits at the window, wearing the face that she keeps in a jar by the door.”
Love the visual of keeping a face/mask by the front door to put on when going out into the world and taking off when coming back home, as normal as keeping your keys by your door.
It was no sense!!!! It was really full of sense and a big deal to share. This is for me your best video. Thank you. My boyfriend is an INFJ and it's hard to understand but you know??? I had no idea of how much he was dealing with!!!!! You help me a lot. I am an ENFJ and I hope I can do a good job. Saludos desde Mexico.
Agreed and appreciated, thank you for being a creator on this platform. I watch your videos so I don’t feel so foreign in my day to day life. (Admittedly I watch a good few) but it doesn’t change that what window I get into your thoughts and experiences helps me by reminding me it’s okay to be different
Nobody who has ever walked this earth did everything right,but they all did something .Do something else and do it better ❤️
Hi Frank,
I am quite a bit older than you, I have learned over the years that in order to be happy you have to try to stay in the moment. Keep your physical body busy. Enjoy the small things. I believe that we are definately here for a reason but we will never understand it all, we are not meant to know all the answers to life, so why torture ourselves. Just trust the feeling of connection to the creator, spread joy and love. Always replace negative thoughts with positive ones and carry on. Stop overthinking. When the rough moods come, let them come. Acknowledge the symptoms, give yourself permission to have them. These physical symptoms will pass. The more you worry about them the longer they last.
On the subject of reality....Have you ever heard of Delores Cannon?? She dealt with regression hypnosis. Interesting stuff. She talks about reality, etc. I have been listening to her videos lately. She speaks about the soul being attached by thread, which reminded me of the theme in some of Remedios Vara's paintings. I think that some of us have been gifted with information, she may have been one, same with McCartney and Lennon.
I have to remember to not take anything too seriously though. Stay in the moment and keep busy with chores and helping others. I think that many times wisdom comes with aging. May you find peace of mind and true joy my friend. Get busy!
Thank you Ruth
I needed that
You’re a blast and a genius. Thanks for the giggles. And yes De La Soul is good stuff.
Nikki Lynn here. well its really comforting to know that i am not the only one who thinks themselves either "out of existence" or into oblivion. I was just thinking/pondering/longing for the time/instance that i will stand up to the collected part of myself with the notion that my stand in or stunt doubles are starting to get antsey/agitated/ and sore footed to now the led breeze blocks.(aware) Used to be considered a dazzling tap dance act that bamboozle the veiwer. Well essentially - How long can i keep acting- while waiting in the wake of my abscents. ****ugh sypher of the algerythem** it is so fucking hard some times to decode into human retospect .
Thanks Frank for the reminder that the world is nothing but a stage. I had come to this conclusion years ago but in the frantic panic of life it's easy to forget that 'nothing is real'. And being able to see behind the curtain is eye opening as well as being able to see behind other people's mask.
Nugget of truths. Enjoyed this!!
And for pretty much all the reason that you're saying is why I moved to the country, bought a couple of acres ,and have resorted to rpg video games . It really sucks being a people magnet when you enjoy being alone, now the people I interact with don't know where I live, so I still get all the socialisation I need , without all the foolishness .
Hey, Frank, thanks for keeping it real. (sound of laughter here-spelled out- not even lol- since that would not be "real!" I like your musings! Borders on mysticism - the good kind only. Keep contemplating the infinite possibilities and differing perspectives. Life is beautiful and abundantly joyful when lived in a state of awareness. Worth striving for or surrendering to that state of mind and heart. God Bless!
Exactly! I've felt this way a couple decades now. Nothing really matters. Everything is temporary, in 100yrs we'll all be in the ground for the most part.
look long before I knew about mbti and stuff, I had this feeling and I was diagnosed with "depersonalization and derealization disorder". As an INFJ, I was always really used to those kind of feelings, such as feeling like you're out of your own body, or like everthing just feels like an unreal movie. Personally, I used to feel like I was flying over my own head. Even if you guys are used to this feelings, it's always a good idea to investigate if therapy is needed.
You changed my mindset in merely 10 minutes
I realised this when I got my first job out of uni as a PA for an IT Director in a charity that does stem cells and blood transfusions. People hardly had a clue what they were doing but things still got done somehow. In a place as time critical and sensitive as that, I realised that it's okay to not know things because it seems like no one does. We rely on these systems and processes o my for us to see them change and shift we are left standing scrambling for something recognisable.
It's comforting and scary at the same time. I would suggest listening to the Podcast How I Built This to everyone who listens to me. It was life changing for me, not just inspired to start a business but not to get anxious about the what I'm doing day to day.
Tldr: there is genuinely really no tricks in life lol you just got Liv it to the happiest of your ability and hope luck lands on you once in a while
FJ, it makes sense. I've been thinking about that for about two years now. Nothing is real. I heard a saying, "My soul is not contained within the limits of my body; my body is contained within the limitlessness of my soul." It's so deep that it's difficult to explain. At least for me at the moment. I love your brain container, by the way. You are my favorite face to look at. 😍💙😏😉 #INFJ
Thank you for being on youtube ..
You Enlighten this place ..
You make very sense frank .. I went through that as well ... And I finally do think that Death is the only truth ..of all this life ..
The rest is just going as it has to be .. No one knows how no one controls how ! It is just how it is ..
I might be wrong .. But it doesn't matter that's the way I perceive life ..
Again thanks for ... Being here
💛
Yeah it's a great line. Especially for intuiters.
Also this video just made me think of when I was a kid at Valleyfair, and I saw the like mechanical boring junk that's necessary for the ride to work but they kind of try to hide it because it's not the magical excitement that the ride is decorated to be. When i would see that, it would just make me feel depressed, and as I kid I had no idea why.
I've been thinking about something similar to this too. I was thinking if it was possible for everyone in the world to be happy. The answer is no. The best we can do is to help everyone become mentally healthy and mature. The world would definitely be at its optimum this way. So let's try to do it. (You know the same thing as protecting nature? Every little bit matters. (I've seen some articles about how little bits don't matter much but pls don't argue with me I have no other examples for what I've written lol))
Dude that's wild man. I just had the same realization tonight and then I catch your video immediately after. That's one hell of an affirmation! Thanks fj!
I was helping a friend by explaining it almost exactly that way. It's sending my mind into a spiralling woooooaaah man. People are so afraid of death they avoid it's contemplation. It's freeing that's the worst failure so nothing else matters. Hahaha Weeeeee
Sorry Frank, I couldn't follow everything you said, I couldn't find a big hat, not a real one anyway.
"For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.
"
Peace friend.
Who told you that you were allowed to make me think and have emotions this early, Frank? Smh.
This has been the central struggle of my life - trying to find meaning in a reality that I perceive as senseless in a lot of ways. I was raised in a very church-centric environment, where everything was ~God’s plan~. But I always questioned that, and of course, felt guilty for questioning that. I’ve kinda made reference to this before, but two of my cousins were born with terminal illnesses, and I could never square that reality with the idea that everything was part of a plan. Like, I have to watch two of my closest loved ones die young and never experience all those important life milestones we take for granted, but my dumb ass gets to just go on? Why? I ended up coming to the conclusion that our lives are just senseless in many ways, and even though that might seem dark, it helped.
I guess the way I’d describe my viewpoint is that nothing has significance until you ascribe significance to it (aka I took semiotics in college and kinda paid attention). When I saw it from that perspective, I was able to understand that people telling me that unfair things were a part of some grand plan was them trying to make some kinda sense of the unpredictability that is life. I don’t think my mind will ever work that way, but I don’t see it as the moral failing I once did. Patton Oswalt did a great stand-up act after his wife died with the central message of “life is chaos, be kind.” That really rings true to me. And as goofy as I sometimes feel playing a role, especially when I’m teaching, there’s some joy in having the capacity to play a role that someone needs you to play in their lives, like being the supportive adult to a kid who needs it, or the sounding board for a friend. Living by my own set of ideals and believing it’s my job to be a kind person in a world where senseless, shitty things happen all the time has given me a lot of peace and made a huge difference in how I view things.
I totally understand where you’re coming from. I’ve lost someone very close to me and it hurts, but worse, it doesn’t make sense. I also happen to live with a chronic-unremitting headache that’s lasted for five years and trying to make sense of that ~grand plan~ is really hard. I’m not trying to force a Christian perspective on you, but what does help me is the hope that despite how terrible this world may be that God has allowed access for us to participate in the restoration of the earth. The story of the Bible is about the hope of one day seeing heaven and earth reunited. It doesn’t bring immediate comfort, granted, but it provides an optimistic understanding where things go wrong.
Kyle Stateler That is a good way to look at it! :) My heart goes out to you on the loss and the headache...I have chronic migraines, and while that definitely doesn’t compare to your situation, it’s enough to know how hard it can be to have a positive attitude when your body doesn’t want to cooperate. 😩
"Be the change you want to see in the World."
Holly, I'm sorry for your pain and struggle with the way you were raised and the questions you had and the unfairness it must have felt like to have to work so hard to choose your own path that others are granted at birth. I relate. I struggle with God on the issue of suffering, largely my own, and I don't have the answers. But I do feel for you. I can imagine the years of turmoil you summed into one paragraph, will never show others or justify for you what you've seen. I just want to say, I think God agrees. This life HAS GOT to be a heart wrenching disappointment to Him as well. I believe our own understanding of what should have been and what is ethically right is only in us because it came from Him. And so, He may not make it all right now... But He will in the end. I believe that. We can't even imagine eternity. And I don't diminish anyone's suffering, I myself feel I can't stand under the weight of it... But don't give up on Him altogether. I believe He hurts with us , and all the more knowing that we don't see all the truth that He sees , to see and know that He is love and He is good and in the end our lives are not losing anything in comparison to what we gain. It must kill Him not to reach down and tell us when we need it. But if He is the source of this thing I know as love, He deserves trust and He will make more than amends.
@@hollyp.8849 I hear that Dearest Holly!
I've got Trigeminal Neuralgia and a long list of other diagnosis' that just piss me off to the point of wanting to spit! And am soooooo grateful we are all here together!
Holly N love your words to the bone! Ty!
I FANGIRLED WHEN YOU BROUGHT UP GRAHAM NASH. I love his “I Used To Be A King”....
This is exactly where I've been at lately. Nothing is real. A cosmic curtain is always just beyond the field of my vision waiting to be pulled back, SURPRISE!
This makes so much sense, I never understood this when I first noticed it. I would feel like I could just do anything but I know I’m supposed to do another thing, like I know how to act but it’s like there’s so many other possibilities in my mind that just don’t fit into my act as an employee and a citizen. And I feel like I’m pretending to be someone at work and I feel crazy because it seems like most people don’t realize they’re doing this, but I’m so aware of it it’s like pulling strings on a marionette to do what I know I do every day but it feels so forced. I have never been able to find a job I like because my role is always so far off from how I’d act as my genuine self.
Climbing into my brain and making things make sense. 👌 I'm a fairly heavy Catholic though so my version of this goes into the meditation of life is a mess and no one knows what they're doing, but there's a beautiful unity in that. All the things that seem to matter to the world are in fact all futile. On our death beds, few of us will care about how many vacations we took, whether we got the big promotion, or even about the times we embarrassed ourselves. The people in our lives are the most important things, how we treated them, how we loved. If we made a positive impact. For me it makes sense then because I believe in an afterlife, and heaven, and that's all that matters. The rest is distraction, and really is an illusion, and not real. It's just our busyness, our worries, our stuff, which is all made up by people who don't really know what they're doing. The sorrowful mystery of the rosary makes me feel oddly better because it follows Jesus in his passion, and I think, wow that's terrible. Life is a series of anxieties, abandonment, pain and suffering, followed by death. But it's supposed to be. It's how you do it and how you help and connect to others that matters. That's all that matters. Done rambling now.