I just want to appreciate a father who admits to having his issues, and who states that he works on his issues in the course of his life. It's beautiful, and in my experience, it's rare.
Wishing my dad had this insight and kindness and my brother were like you. The next best thing is your willingness to share your insight and kindness with others.
Forrest, Ive listened to a few of your podcasts, but I just wanted to say I really enjoy your kind voice, it is so welcoming to listen to. Thanks for this conversation with your dad.
Secondary gains are tricky to talk about to other people. But I have found it SO valuable in talking (kindly!) to myself. I remember the first time I encountered a situation in which a counselor in a group setting asked (about a negative behavior someone wanted to change) "yes, but how is it compensating you?" It was such a new concept to me then, that there could be ANY gain from something like that. When I ask myself about this - gently - it has allowed very old (very) and deeply buried issues to come to the surface for me to heal. That one about not being independent so that someone else would take care of me - it really hit home. I know I have this feeling somewhere in my body, and every time it comes up, I try to respond in a nurturing way - after all, I AM very independent, and I AM a grandmother nowadays! It's a very old pattern of thinking/feeling. But mercy on that small child who formed it, you know?
@@Thatsbannanas-d8cinability to be vulnerable, authentic, and feel safe…and a link with shame. Lies are often used as fillers to spackle over the truth that we don’t want to admit. They are also a maladaptive tool to not be rejected. When we fully accept, our paradoxically, flawed, self, it is so much easier to just show up that way. We no longer self reject, therefore any potential “other” rejection we can handle easier. We know we are essentially ok, as we are, flaws and all, and aren’t seeking other’s seal of approval. It is so freeing and empowering!
Hi Forrest, I really appreciate the contents of this podcast but I am also moved by the relationship you have with your dad. Now that mine passed away, I wish I had such a kind of conversation with him. 💜
I’m so thankful for you guys and this podcast. I usually listen to the audio version, but watching the video and getting to see your expressions makes your advice even dearer. Thanks for what you do!
All of Forrest’s podcasts are excellent but this one really rang true for me in getting out of a rut. Always presented in layman’s terms and with excellent real life examples. Thankyou Forrest and Rick!
You two are fabulous! I love the way you dig into the issues from so many perspectives. I see my behaviours being described so clearly and you help me understand why some things are so difficult to shift! A work in progress. So good to see such a functional father-son relationship. Well done to both of you for sharing your knowledge with the world. Appreciated🙏😇
This episode was incredible. I did not think I could learn more from the both of you as I have taken in so much of your shared materials, but this was outstanding. I haven’t felt this seen and understood in a long time and through your words I was able to see myself deeply. I will replay this many times to reflect. Thank you immensely.
Thank you for this video Forrest and Rick. So many ideas to help 'nudge' me toward my best self, while reminding me to accept myself first. Nudges work for me 👍💕
You guys are so amazingly insightful, communicative and deep. Thank you so much from the bottom of my heart for sharing your wisdom 🙏 it helps tremendously in life 🙏🌷
Thank you both for exploring the uncomfortable dives towards happiness. To take from your baking metaphors, it's been a full 5 course dinner I have to rest to digest I do enjoy examples. Abstrations often resemble religious doctrine where it's possible to miss or distort the point or intention. Thanks again. ~
For what it’s worth Think of the world you carry within you, and call this thinking what you will; whether it be remembering your own childhood or yearning toward your own future-only be attentive to that which rises up in you and set it above everything that you observe about you. What goes on in your innermost being is worthy of your whole love; you must somehow keep working at it and not lose too much time and too much courage in clarifying your attitude toward people. - Rainer Maria Rilke, Letters to a Young Poet
Sunny Jacobs has a great and tragic story for those looking to understand how the mind can can completely alter one's attitude regardless of circumstances. It's quite helpful also to have the feminine represented as well. Buddhist nun Robina Courtin refers to her story often at talks. Basically Sunny and her family were blown apart by a false accusation of homicide back in the 70's. Look her up to see how the impossible can happen to anyone and still be accepted and attended to with dignity and responsibility. Her book and story really ought to be more mainstream although I do appreciate the difficulties of too much attention. Thank you for keeping these episodes coming! I love the subjects and it really does help me to keep my opinions more flexible.
I got so tired of being a case study that I ended up fighting the system until I proved what the text books were saying. It has been humbling indeed to have to accept a diagnosis I was never told outright but found in a file in my name in my father's filing cabinet. I am hurt and angry at having been labelled and treated like a case study who hasd no needs of my own.
I prefer to think of it as treading water rather than running in place. It takes more energy and the moment you stop moving you feel like you’re at risk of drowning. This constant expenditure of energy inevitably leads to burnout (and psychological/emotional “drowning”) meaning forward momentum is extremely difficult to sustain.
I regularly watch/listen to your shows. I'm wondering do you have any on how to deal with hate, rage, anger and resentment? I'm stuck in anger and don't know why.
Lately(when out in social environments) I've been asking > So, what motivates you ? Loss, Stagnancy, or Hope ? < and yeah, the subject/context is change.
Was it Socrates who said his speech was governed by three questions? If it was true, kind, and useful he'd say it. I feel like they're channeling that message here.
I like what Rick Hanson said. It is liberating to aknowledge your own inner landscape and "Diagnosis". But its only describes your biography from the past. Not your potentials. If you identify yourself and melt into the "I am this or that" you hold on to. In my pracitce of Schemtherapy we are speaking from "Depressive Parts" because even you are "depressed" you have still other functional parts within integrated and able to cultivate, learn and grow helpful qualities within on your way of healing. But nevertheless I would like to mention that only the person itsself knows her path and we have to accept what is, because we dont know what the person has to learn in this life. There are so many aspects which has to be taken into consideration.
On your final summarisation Forrest, vegans get a lot of pressure to not change from the eating norm in society. Quite hostile pressure even from family and friends.
I just want to appreciate a father who admits to having his issues, and who states that he works on his issues in the course of his life. It's beautiful, and in my experience, it's rare.
Wishing my dad had this insight and kindness and my brother were like you. The next best thing is your willingness to share your insight and kindness with others.
Forrest, Ive listened to a few of your podcasts, but I just wanted to say I really enjoy your kind voice, it is so welcoming to listen to. Thanks for this conversation with your dad.
I appreciate how you acknowledge the limits of change at the outset. And then go about elaborating on the topic.
Secondary gains are tricky to talk about to other people. But I have found it SO valuable in talking (kindly!) to myself. I remember the first time I encountered a situation in which a counselor in a group setting asked (about a negative behavior someone wanted to change) "yes, but how is it compensating you?" It was such a new concept to me then, that there could be ANY gain from something like that. When I ask myself about this - gently - it has allowed very old (very) and deeply buried issues to come to the surface for me to heal. That one about not being independent so that someone else would take care of me - it really hit home. I know I have this feeling somewhere in my body, and every time it comes up, I try to respond in a nurturing way - after all, I AM very independent, and I AM a grandmother nowadays! It's a very old pattern of thinking/feeling. But mercy on that small child who formed it, you know?
I would love an episode on lying. Particularly small, silly lies. What is the psychology behind that? Love you both!
@@Thatsbannanas-d8cinability to be vulnerable, authentic, and feel safe…and a link with shame.
Lies are often used as fillers to spackle over the truth that we don’t want to admit. They are also a maladaptive tool to not be rejected.
When we fully accept, our paradoxically, flawed, self, it is so much easier to just show up that way.
We no longer self reject, therefore any potential “other” rejection we can handle easier. We know we are essentially ok, as we are, flaws and all, and aren’t seeking other’s seal of approval. It is so freeing and empowering!
Hi Forrest,
I really appreciate the contents of this podcast but I am also moved by the relationship you have with your dad.
Now that mine passed away, I wish I had such a kind of conversation with him.
💜
I’m so thankful for you guys and this podcast. I usually listen to the audio version, but watching the video and getting to see your expressions makes your advice even dearer. Thanks for what you do!
All of Forrest’s podcasts are excellent but this one really rang true for me in getting out of a rut. Always presented in layman’s terms and with excellent real life examples. Thankyou Forrest and Rick!
Exceptional…..so many great insights and points….love these men….so soulful and real.
Great conversation. Really helping me to think more about my rut and how fear of the unknown keeps me from taking first steps. THX.
You two are fabulous! I love the way you dig into the issues from so many perspectives. I see my behaviours being described so clearly and you help me understand why some things are so difficult to shift! A work in progress. So good to see such a functional father-son relationship. Well done to both of you for sharing your knowledge with the world. Appreciated🙏😇
This episode was incredible. I did not think I could learn more from the both of you as I have taken in so much of your shared materials, but this was outstanding. I haven’t felt this seen and understood in a long time and through your words I was able to see myself deeply. I will replay this many times to reflect. Thank you immensely.
This is the first episode I've heard from you and I absolutely loved it! This was so insightful!
Thank you for this video Forrest and Rick. So many ideas to help 'nudge' me toward my best self, while reminding me to accept myself first.
Nudges work for me 👍💕
Carl Rogers, when I can accept myself, just as I am, then I can change.❤
I’m digging the casual vibe in your intro!
Thank You
You guys are so amazingly insightful, communicative and deep. Thank you so much from the bottom of my heart for sharing your wisdom 🙏 it helps tremendously in life 🙏🌷
Thanks!
Thank you both for exploring the uncomfortable dives towards happiness. To take from your baking metaphors, it's been a full 5 course dinner I have to rest to digest
I do enjoy examples. Abstrations often resemble religious doctrine where it's possible to miss or distort the point or intention.
Thanks again. ~
Amazing subject . Amazing insights . Very helpful .
Haha nice Grateful Dead quote by Rick at the beginning! :D what a long strange trip it's been
Music 🎶 is so much a part of my life, not a huge dead fan but I am on the jam band scene more of a Phish, string cheese incident and widespread panic
Thank you both 🙏 this was great & so helpful.
For what it’s worth
Think of the world you carry within you, and call this thinking what you will; whether it be remembering your own childhood or yearning toward your own future-only be attentive to that which rises up in you and set it above everything that you observe about you. What goes on in your innermost being is worthy of your whole love; you must somehow keep working at it and not lose too much time and too much courage in clarifying your attitude toward people.
- Rainer Maria Rilke, Letters to a Young Poet
Sunny Jacobs has a great and tragic story for those looking to understand how the mind can can completely alter one's attitude regardless of circumstances. It's quite helpful also to have the feminine represented as well.
Buddhist nun Robina Courtin refers to her story often at talks.
Basically Sunny and her family were blown apart by a false accusation of homicide back in the 70's. Look her up to see how the impossible can happen to anyone and still be accepted and attended to with dignity and responsibility.
Her book and story really ought to be more mainstream although I do appreciate the difficulties of too much attention.
Thank you for keeping these episodes coming! I love the subjects and it really does help me to keep my opinions more flexible.
I got so tired of being a case study that I ended up fighting the system until I proved what the text books were saying. It has been humbling indeed to have to accept a diagnosis I was never told outright but found in a file in my name in my father's filing cabinet. I am hurt and angry at having been labelled and treated like a case study who hasd no needs of my own.
I prefer to think of it as treading water rather than running in place. It takes more energy and the moment you stop moving you feel like you’re at risk of drowning. This constant expenditure of energy inevitably leads to burnout (and psychological/emotional “drowning”) meaning forward momentum is extremely difficult to sustain.
I regularly watch/listen to your shows. I'm wondering do you have any on how to deal with hate, rage, anger and resentment? I'm stuck in anger and don't know why.
Yes, two come to mind.
ruclips.net/video/J8LMUkuxkbU/видео.htmlsi=9LJ0A26I7W4dE5T6
ruclips.net/video/W43ddIQKrAM/видео.htmlsi=rZCBURfpv8v1sJ6y
Lately(when out in social environments) I've been asking > So, what motivates you ? Loss, Stagnancy, or Hope ? < and yeah, the subject/context is change.
Hope is the motivator. People do things for positive reasons
Was it Socrates who said his speech was governed by three questions? If it was true, kind, and useful he'd say it. I feel like they're channeling that message here.
love to you guys
Universal basic income would actually help with all the things some of us cannot change but that which are demanded of us.
Not even effort is a given.
understand, but who is responsible for providing it?
@@Rah_Kyrillos I would say the government?. There is enough to go around if we are serious.
If everyones rich, no ones rich. UBI would devastate the value of money
I like what Rick Hanson said. It is liberating to aknowledge your own inner landscape and "Diagnosis". But its only describes your biography from the past. Not your potentials. If you identify yourself and melt into the "I am this or that" you hold on to. In my pracitce of Schemtherapy we are speaking from "Depressive Parts" because even you are "depressed" you have still other functional parts within integrated and able to cultivate, learn and grow helpful qualities within on your way of healing. But nevertheless I would like to mention that only the person itsself knows her path and we have to accept what is, because we dont know what the person has to learn in this life. There are so many aspects which has to be taken into consideration.
On your final summarisation Forrest, vegans get a lot of pressure to not change from the eating norm in society. Quite hostile pressure even from family and friends.
He's the youngest looking 71- year old.
It's pretty wild.