I have been watching for about three weeks. This has made a huge difference for me in understanding my own cptsd at age 50. With your help and the books by Peter Walker, I feel myself walking towards that light at the end of the tunnel with clearirity in my eyes.
I don't care what any one says about you being "qualified" to help people. You are helping me so much, and some days you are the only person other than my children who keeps me tethered to this existence. Thank you for keeping me here another day.
Thank you! I wonder if you'd be willing to share a couple paragraphs about that, for my upcoming book, published by Hay House? Please write to me at hello@crappychildhoodfairy.com
I try not to let my past control me, but I still find social interactions very hard. I'm 68, and working on it every day. Overall I'm happy. Thanks for a thoughtful video. 🎉
@@elipotter369There are plenty of people as smart as you are or even smarter. You will find them all around you the more you heal. But I would suggest that if you have the thought in your head in talking to people that you are having to dumb yourself down, I don't think that's the best approach. Case in point, I'm really pretty smart. I don't always lead with that, you have to know me a little before I let the "really very smart" out. If someone talks to me like I'm not as smart as they are, they never get any farther with me. That strategy has worked well with me, and allows everyone to keep their dignity. :-)
@@elipotter369well there are a lot of us out here feeling the same way.. after abuse with NPD and such, many of us just want to go hide under a rock forever! But we need to remember that there are other good ones out there too, feeling the same way.
@@reneereif2059 yep.. I feel like a nuke went off after an NPD/BPD relationship. They are such nightmares! Hard to even remember who I was or function in the day to day a lot of the time.
Me too, I had this internal dialogue with myself for years, "why did God give me this intelligence, and I'm not supposed to use it because my spouse was supposed to be the head of the family and I'm smarter"......lol. That didn't work out well for me in the end.
A kind lady gave me a soft pink bear when i bravely admitted i hadnt been given soft toys as a young child. This pink bear is now my self love therapy bear. I hold this bear and tell it gently how loved safe and precious she is and that i will not allow anyone to hurt her again and she is now safe and loved. When i get triggered, i make sure to hold the bear close and allow my tears to come and nurture the inner child inside me who was hurt and cried alone so much and no one came to hold me and tell me i was loved and safe. The adults were not there emotionally so now i try very hard to be there for my hurt inner child of those past years. I tell her through holding this bear that i will never neglect her or allow others to abuse her. I will allways be on her side. I will never let her down. Its been so amazing for me to give my inner hurt child all the loving words and attention that i lacked back in those harsh days. I also was given a doll without a mouth and very big eyes and raggy clothes. I see her as me as a child. Big eyes and no ability to speak out and raggy clothes i wore again and again. These days i try hard to wear different clothes every day and take time to dress. I am 73 yrs old and its hard to do these things still but the bear helps and now the doll tells me that i need to speak out and look for kind people first when i do. I use to open up to the abuser types and it got me nowhere. I was looking for love where there was none. Now i see that there are really loving people who do care and i avoid the shitty ones who only want to steal your light. Its been hard but the pink bear has really been a great self therapy tool. That bear is soft pink and so lovely to hold. I hold my little girl that was not held through this soft pink bear. Thankyou for your videos❤
The brain fog combined with high expectations from my giftedness in my case actually led to an immense fear of failure. The past few weeks I was finally able to pinpoint the reasons and stop blaming myself. Growth is on the way ❤
There was a very kind crossing guard in my childhood. She didn’t know how much she meant to me, but I’ve tried to emulate her sweetness to others. It helps!
Trauma is linked to illness...see the work of Dr. Gabor Mate. He has a book called When the Body Says No. He also does work linking childhood trauma and addiction. Also, I always watch your videos to ground myself. You are amazing Anna!
Another excellent trauma specialist is Bessel Van Der Kolk, his book The Body Keeps the Score is a classic, also check Deb Dana and Dr Stephen Porges and Dr Arielle Schwartz
You are a proof of what i said so many times, that it doesnt always rely on what education or degree u have, but life experience can be as good and often better than education.
Oh wow, 29 minutes in and feeling overwhelmed. I fit most categories but have a 30 year disability that makes it difficult to manage life on top of CPTSD. You're amazing. I'm so glad fairies are real. I'll be sticking around. Thank you, Anna.
My sister used to trigger me. Ive learned to recognize it. The first time I recognized the pattern I didn't react. She was surprised and maybe a little grateful that the interaction didn't escalate. We have a better relationship ( for now)
Omg. Several years ago, I too went to the doctor because I thought I had early onset Alzheimer's. I didn't but I never made the connection to dysfunctional upbringing. Thank you for mentioning that. ❤
Anna ❤ Everytime I watch your videos, I just feel so heard, seen and understood. "Oh my, she talks about ME!" I just want to thank you, for this amazing work you do! I love your videos, helps me so much to understand myself. And gives me great advices for moving forward 🥰 Psychotherapy was way too disregulating for me too. It was a great way to find clarity and see how I had taken the blame for all the abuse I went through. But since I have for years been so dissociated from my body, and was basically living life from upstairs (my head). I had no connection with my feelings, I even lost connection with ordinary body signs like full bladder, thirst, hunger, temperature, tired - everything was so mixed up too. And my brain went directly into a "how can I fix this" mode. Which is kind of counterproductive when you are tired and all you need is rest/sleep, not to find something to fix the tiredness.🙉🙈 Going to talk therapy just made things even worse for me, cause not only did all the stuff from the past come up to the surface, but I had no idea how to process all the emotions that suddenly started to boil up. It was way too much for my system to handle, I felt so overwhelmed, it ended up with my nervous system to crash. Took me almost a year to recover from it. Finding your daily practice helped me a lot in the beginning, to rid my thoughts of all the fear that kept ruminating my head all day/all night. So thank you for that, what a life saver ❤ Now I'm learning somatic experiencing, I find that to be very helpful and a much safer way to get in touch with my body again. For years, I have been so sleep deprived, it has not felt safe to relax/go to sleep at night. So I have usually just kept going, until I eventually pass out. And of course, not felt replenished when I wake up again. Now I'm finally able to calm myself down and go to bed more like normal people! 😅 I so wished someone could have told me this 20 years ago, when I got diagnosed with CFS. That nervous system disregulation due to childhood trauma was the original cause of all my symptoms! Oh well! Better late, than never! 🤗 You mentioned a sheet for 10 things we can do to re-regulate our nervous system, but I can't find it in the description.
So me ! I’m so messed up I don’t even know how to take care of me, Since I was 5, I’ve HAD to take care of everyone BUT me ! Thank you for helping us !❤ saying thank you seems so inadequate compared to how much you are spot on , the brain fog you describe is so how I feel ! The intelligence loss is so exactly me ! Thank you also for making me aware that it doesn’t matter if my parents stood there and told me they were sorry, the damage is done and now it’s up to me to get past it ! I’ve spent my whole life blaming, never realizing that it didn’t matter, can you understand what I’m trying to say ? In a nutshell? Thank you with all my heart for sharing your wisdom ❤
2 things that are upsetting for me to accept: 1 If we ever do studies, I'm quite certain we will find that most people with moderate to severe mental health struggles have had trauma in their childhoods. And 2 Our health systems aren't concerned with saving health care costs, quite the opposite I'm afraid. Helping people is unfortunately second to profitability, especially within mental health and addiction. It also looks to me like elderly care is beginning to be financially exploitative 💔💔
yes. Almost 100% of addiction has childhood trauma lying beneath it. Gabor Mate has done a fair bit of the research (and compilations of existing research as well!) on this topic.
Fairy you are such a God send you have a unique magic that I think it's your soothing voice, your incredible gift of helping us you're like a soothing cup of tea in this harsh cold world I just Love you to bits! Thank you for all the good you do in the world!❤❤❤ PS top of my list this New Year do your Daily Practice! 😊Happy Blessed Holidays!!!!!❤❤❤
I am so relieved you didn't listen to the negative voices and play small. YOUR HUGE. It is almost like a mirror when you talk. I am seeing you say exactly how I live and act.Ughhh. I appreciate you so much. It's so foggy I can barely see my hand in front of me. I get so much from the community....thank you. Anna I am triggered so dysregulated and confused....again. My situation is complicated. I have a hard time concentrating on your videos right now but I am trying. Never give up, Never surrender. Thank you Anna
I am so grateful this vid came out rn... I've been a fan of CCF vids for about 10 months to a year and this is a great refresher! *And* lemme just brag a lil bit: I had my first coffee date/girl date/whatever date yesterday since almost 10 years of living back with my codependent narcissistic parent, and this vid is helping bring me down and stay Grounded as I clean the house 😅 I *so* hope other people know that this doesn't have to last.... CCF is def that "big sis" energy we all need sometimes 😂❤❤❤
You are so right about diet helping. Since I started on a healthy Ketogenic diet/lifestyle on 5 Aug this year, I have noticed my head is clearer, depression has lifted a lot, symptoms like fatigue, swollen ankles, bad skin have improved so much. I've dropped 11kg/24lbs so far which is fantastic! A low carb, no sugar diet with healthy fats, proteins & green vegetables, salad - & no alcohol at all have made such a difference to my mind & my body. And along with intermittent fasting, I have no cravings anymore for bad sugary high carb food. (Dr Eric Berg's info is great). I walk my dog every day - he gets me out of the house especially when I didn't want to leave the house most days. I've watched your videos for a over year and only recently I decided to 'care enough about me' & start doing your daily practice and this is also helping me greatly. My intention is too continue both of these lifestyle changes to help me heal. Thank you Anna your videos are such a blessing.
Anna, you're a gift from God for folks like us who are struggling with CPTSD. It's so phenomenal to hear from someone who has gone thru the experience of CPTSD.
Hey there, Anna, this is an absolutely fabulous compilation of "ground level" info and encouragement on moving forward and healing from C-PTSD. Thank you for sharing all your years of experience so accessibly!
Jill: Literally 40 years later, I am STILL trying to get my mind wrapped around the ENORMOUS betrayal I experienced. The whole experience was one big lie - and I fell for it. Just BEGINNING to experience the SHOCK - even after 40 years. Still trying to identify and pick up the pieces - - - Wow!!!
It is heartbreaking to hear that you would receive hate mail!! You have helped me, and so many people, so very much. I just wanted to say thank you XXX
I am so grateful for you Anna. I love the way you are kid and gentle and real! I’ve always felt awkward, different, not worthy and alone. What would I do without you? You have given me insight and hope. I’m 64 and married to a narcissist for 20 yrs and feel like I’m dying on the vine…it’s so unhealthy to be ignored, I valued and unloved. I really tried every angle but now I know my “picker” is broke. I want to say yes to my life! I hope there’s still time for me to have some happy years! I dream of being a valued companion to someone. I know someone won’t just show up and save me. I just need a little happiness before my life is over or I get too old. Thank you for explaining everything…you’re such a lifesaver.
I met a mother and her son today. And witnessed her blaming others for her son's failing to win a competition. She blamed the staff for not being a fair judge and belittled others kids and their inability to win. Her son started to cry, they both were stressed out because they did get the prize of a fair competition. Lord have mercy on the mother and her son. It is such a trauma to live a life thinking you are better than everyone else with no humility nor gratefulness for life. How will they feel better nmand happy thinking they are better than others and aim for the prize and not the journey.
At 68, your message has huge impact. In fact a breakthrough of light also. Still want to remain isolated and havent attempted daily practice. Thanks a million.
Thank you for having the courage to step forward. Just the act of finding a therapist is a challenge . You have been such a saving grace in my life. I appreciate you
WOW; your intro is SO ME in my early teens to early 20s. When I was busy with family-raising and busy busy, I didn't care as much, but now it's quieter... I'm almost 60 and starting to fall back into it and struggling. Much thanks for this! It really spoke to me.
I hate homework. And I know the healing power of doing so. Looking for yet another therapist,. 3 years of insomnia have done a number on my already fried nervous system. Where the will to do anything feels Herculean. The body keeps the score, I could've written that book. When I read it, my body knew, without my damaged parts not wanting me to know The work you have done, without all the crap that exists today is incredible. Much respect to you crappy fairy childhood lady. I have driven everyone away . It happened gradually and my cherished solitude,,have become an unbearable loneliness.turns out I can't manufacture people.
To date: I have been following the things learned from "crappy childhood fairy" and the books by Paul Walker as best I can every day. I have started performing better at work and mending things with my wife and family. I still find it difficult to be out in public for two long by myself, but it's getting better. I am not saying everything is great. Somedays and even some weeks are harder than others. My point is that things have gotten better.
The brain stuf is so real. Thank you for your truth Anna! We all need to hear the fact that we need to be truthful! The more we hide, the bigger the goblin gets. Love your context. You are appreciated!
It's good to hear your videos as it makes me realise that's it's not just ME, and other people are experiencing similar issues. There is hope in your messages for me that positive change is possible. Thanks for sharing.
I've read "The Body Keeps The Score"... it's a great book, I sent a copy to my mom (we were traumatized together) and she refuses to even acknowledge anything. It's crushing because I will never, ever have that relationship with my mom that I've always wanted/needed.
my god, that dementia part hits home. It got really bad for me after a certain situation and i got panic attacks, so i went to my doctor and told her i feel like my brain is not working correctly anymore and I might develop something like alzheimers or schizophrenia.
So thankful that I found your channel. I plan to do a deep dive into all your materials. I wish parents would really understand the best gift they can give to their children is a happy, healthy childhood.
Oh goodness. You've done it again, Anna! You've basically described me to a T and come out with a video so poignant to my present circumstances that it's creepy (or maybe it's fate, and I was destined to see this)... Just today, I was journaling ("daily practice" style) about one of my jobs. I've been lucky enough to have a paid performance gig this year, and while I'm grateful, I've been scared shitless that I will "give myself away." We just finished our intensive dress rehearsal week, and it's taken all of my self control to shut my mouth and not get myself in trouble. No one else in my cast or my directors seem to feel the need to edit themselves, and I get earfuls of their political and mainstream views, and am assumed to agree with them. There are a few members that I suspect don't like me (this might be my intuition or it might be the CPTSD lying to me). Every time I do open my mouth to offer input or share something about myself, I end up later at home condemning myself for opening my mouth and wishing I could just shut up in company. I play small in an industry where self promotion is key and getting along with cast mates and directors is essential... Therefore, I stay small. I am doing the DP everyday, and it helps, but I still drop into this self editing and judgment place every time I'm in the company of those who I perceive as potentially threatening due to ideological differences. To add to that, I've always been different - thought differently, lived differently, very controversial - and I can't seem to figure out how to authentically be myself while getting along with others (or if I can't get along, how to have the boundaries to stand up for myself or others when necessary OR hold my tongue when necessary, being that I'm in a professional setting). Being kind and asking others how they are is something I HAVE been working on, however, and I can see how that opens up the smallest of connections to these people in my life right now.
Hi! I was reading this and deeply related to some of the things you said, especially that last part where you’re realizing how to form connections, and the bits about giving yourself away, disagreeing with peoples points of views but seeing your opinions as rude or controversial… and it hits close to home especially as a late diagnosed autistic female. It took me 25 years to figure out because it’s more covert, but you might want to look into that. I’m saying this as lovingly as I can. Just a possible little hint into your self discovery and healing journey. Also I know for a fact that my cptsd has been made worse from having been an undiagnosed autistic and feeling like no one would ever love and understand me for who I am. No idea if I’m projecting, sorry if that’s the case!
Thank you Anna, That you are mentionong it, that the once victims, can get predators too. And even if not so, they can also be nasty, jealous and so on and hurt other people. So yes, it's important for EVERYBODY to listen to critics and look inside your true heart, if there is something right in there. And also crappy childhood victims survivors have sometimes to say sorry to others. And it's for all people hard to do so. 💜
I love the daily practice. I actually thought how am I ever going to fill 5-10 minutes with fears and resentments 2x a day-- well the words just flow onto the page I don't even have to think, the fears just pour out. I'm so grateful for this technique and having a place to release those thoughts. It is helping me already; I have been able to do things again slowly and I am so grateful.
Sometimes, when you literally have no support system at all, you feel like this really is all life has to offer. That's the best you will have. It's stay where you are or know that every day holidays, birthdays anything will be experienced alone.
^Thanks for an earlier video, not too long ago. I made a comment and in that comment I went over all the BS that had been gone thru in my life. It was in your video that it became clear to me to quit being a broken record! It's just all negative garbage that keeps one down. I've spent a literal lifetime trying to understand the whys. Am 76. From the dry clinical standpoint one gets it (the answers are dead and buried.) It is about emotions & feelings,. Ultimately the "safe havens" we go to are neither safe or comfortable. The only comforts come from familiarity. IT can be a prison of ones own device. The inner child only repeats what it has heard. While assuming a "victims" roll is not a good idea, understanding that you have been victimized thru no fault of your own is a necessity for healing. Feelings of self worth are attainable goals. Mindfulness is a wonderful tool.
Oh I am so very great full for finding your RUclips Channel Anna Fairy!!! Thank you so much you are truly a Crappy Childhood Fairy! gracias from México your neighbor country!!!
I just want to say, I ❤ you. I wish I found you earlier in my life and someone would talk about this in 🇫🇮 You are life saviour. Huge, huge respect for you
You have diagnosed me. Anna, you have helped me to at least begin to think about taking the first steps out of this. I thank you so much. I can do this. Please keep on helping trauma-damaged people. God bless you so much with all that is good.
Completely agree re: ADD diagnosis being over used. I wondered for years why prof. I knew didnt recognized the anxiety in myself and others that i thought to be painfully obvious.
Anna, Thank you for the work You've done here. I've never heard my survival tools described as "playing small," but it's been very hard to make sanity out of garbage behavior rooted in narcissistic parenting. I feel you have helped me restore some IQ points. Just your validation has helped. My power loss is THE most damaging consequence of CPTSD - especially in terms of my career.... I haven't had one for 15 years because I have had too many jerks imposing themselves....too few tools. Thank you for your tools. ☺️😇
I found the crappy fairy when my therapist wanted me to focus on my self and understand the healing process from neglect and abuse and ostracism of childhood, I used to listen to podcasts on trusting others blah blah blah because I was not the problem, the fairy knows who I am inside and out ❣️
SO much helpful information packed into a single video. Thank you for putting what has taken you years and years to learn, and condensing that in an excellent way. Much appreciated.👍😊
I grow up with my needs being partly neglected / some of my needs, i can relate to this, nailed it, thanks, i am looking forward to interacting with you
Thank you for your amazing & wise messages! They are so heartfelt! God bless you for using your pain & experiences to help others heal! I believe that is our main purpose! I am sensitive, extremely a.d.d. & have a very dysfunctional family. I take care if my 97 year old mother. She was difficult but God has softened her & she has always had faith & been an amazing prayer warrior! My older sibling do not even see her, They are stuck in anger & pain. Good heals our emotional pain if we ask him to & believe he will. Takes a lot of prayer & Godly influence! God has always blessed me with amazing loving & wise Godly people. They can make up for the narcissism & neglect, I feel forgiveness & good boundaries help, God bless you! I wish I had found you earlier!
Dear Anna, you and your team are truly Godsent! I am grateful to have had the opportunity to discover you. You're making a difference and y'all are great at it!
I got a new 'daily practice' more accurate a 'responsive practice'. (Tho it feels lately there is a daily conversation which is brilliant to moving me to be my full size). When have had a conversation where a conflict has been addressed the frazzle has been pressed when new ideas has been expressed, {like now, like when my notes taken during some of your videos}, when have a feeling of complete, 26:44 the only thing left to say "We had a most brilliant conversation, thankyouthankyou, the only request is you as well as I (consistently pause for a swell of emotion) thank those you have undoubtedly have given their support to you, to me; with that support this brilliant conversation sparkles in my eyes, in my heart; Thankyouthankyou Thankyouthankyou".
My word Thankyouthankyou means that in this moment I thank you; so much, that best of you that I thank is wish to replicate the later half of my coined word is for the hope I may remember you when the thought, the behavior becomes mine then a share thankyou- for you, that you are for me, that I have become.
I had a plan to finally leave my emotionally abusive, alcoholic husband this fall by finally working full time when our oldest daughter got to college this fall. Then got a diagnosis of breast cancer, which means i have to stay for health insurance and recovery. To depend on a person who I cant trust until i recover. But emotionally I just can't. So very much relating to the frustration of spinning my wheels and not being able to move forward for at least 4 more months.
Could you say you need to stay somewhere close to the hospital for recovery and rent a small flat? So leave without officially leaving. At least you’d have some space and peace to recover.
What brave steps you have made, though! To come to such a decision is huge and life affirming. If you need support there are so many groups to reach out to. The patient advocates at your local hospital may have resources. And your doctor.
Thank you for your channel. I believe there is a significant number of people who can benefit from your teaching who are unable to assess the damage. They might be like me, thinking: "I didn't have such a horrible childhood. Domestic violence wasn't a constant. Mom and Dad did the best that they could." We then tell ourselves: "Just forgive them. You are a grown adult now, and you have to just move on." I am only a few videos in, and there is so much of what you are saying that is resonating with me. The mix of physiology/brain chemistry, finances/vocation, and the psychological/thought patterns seem to be reinforcing like a rope of coiled strands, so that it becomes difficult to untangle the issues. I know my childhood had a lot to do with the way that I am withdrawn and detached as an adult. Up to now, I thought the solution was to address the physiological, so I was taking high amounts of caffeine and brain performance supplements. I am seeing now that this is not enough. There is still work to be done.
I really hate it when someone who has been abusing me emotionally tries to make me the scapegoat for their childhood pain and puts me on the defensive! It also stinks when their approach to a relationship with you is a one-way street and they do everything they can to put you down and they dismiss your needs. Why should I abandon myself completely? It doesn't keep them from putting me down, anyway. Walk away time!
My parents what a combo. I had a physically abusive father and mother that taught me it was my fault that he hit me and my siblings. My older two sibs were in school when he got cancer and then was home 24/7 ( he was abusive before cancer but he went to work every day before that)they were old enough to get out of his way. Me and my younger 2 brothers were not😢. My father died almost 20 years ago and my mother no longer knows anyone. So my sibs and I will never get an apology that is for sure!!! We siblings rarely take about it. We certainly were trained not to talk about it growing up. We all put off committing parenthood until the last minute...... Bless you so much. I am sharing your info with everyone!!!! Thank you for all of your work!! No drugs or alcohol in my house growing up. Decades later I realized my father had PTSD for being in the military during WW2. Mainly he was bomded his unit was part of Army core of engineers that setup and managed portable airports and bridges.........major bomb targets. Sound was a trigger for him...5 kids boy what a mix.
Your videos have helped to finally make sense of so many struggles I have faced in my life … it feels so much less confusing and the more I watch the more I trust that you truly understand where these issues come from, what they feel like and how they interact with all of the things we encounter in life. Thank you
This is by far my favorite video because you call out all the lies that straight up don't work and set people up for failure. I value the truth because by having a reality based mental map of the world and how life is, that is the only way you can make efficacious decisions and get where you want to go.
I love listening to you explain and connect your thoughts, ideas and concepts. I wish that this channel was available when I embarked on figuring out me... I am a fan and listen as I still will always be want to heal and learn new tools. I also feel that with the amount of content on your channel there is enough here to help ppl get a glimpse of a vision of potential in their own life. I send ppl here ever since I found this channel. Good stuff
I thank God for putting you on my path. For years I did not know what was happening in my life, now I can know that it is CPTSD, it has been a difficult road to get here, I am trying my best to apply your advice and be able to improve. A few years ago I was diagnosed with hypothyroidism and the symptoms you mention are so similar, especially the brain fog.
Thank you so much for being real and so articulate, insightful and practical about what the lived experience of complex ptsd feel like and how it can play out in one's life. I have been diagnosed with cptsd this year, and am learning a lot. I'm so glad I came across your videos - incredibly helpful and valuable! Thank you 💯❤🙏
That was the video of a great kickstart.🎉I have been struggling with cptsd and lost my job recently and lost my power and things were going up and down but recently down and i was paralized for weeks with my anxiety. After getting out taking a big walk at the city center while listening to this video,soaked in the tips while aired out my mind,after that i got home set down took a deep breath and i was like now or never.i pulled my cv together i got so peoducrive and sent them away to multiple companies.thank you!just what i needed and i overcome this fear!❤
Thank you for being so transparent and bold. Your RUclips videos have really helped me not only understand myself better but solutions to overcoming these real life struggles. Thank you for giving me hope and understanding so that I can be the best version of myself
Thank you, for sharing your experiences, for reaching out to us, cracking our shells, drawing out the negative so that we can heal, be trye, be hinest, be loved and come out of our cocoons and be the butterflies that we are meant to be. 🦋
Anyone ever mentioned in the group that abandoned kids will continue in adulthood with self- abandonment … they become supersensitive ( empaths) - so that to detect all potential untoward emotional energy around and AVOID bad consequences of it ; they will also continue sacrificing all their resources to support the significant ones so that they attain all their goals , putting aside their own needs and goals - SO THAT NOT TO BE REJECTED AGAIN …
Omg - letting things that were untrue or unfair just go with it, that hits a spot, i did this in my previous workplace, sort of going with it and hoping it doesnt get worse that was me, it actually did get worse in that workplace. Being assertive feels scary after experiencing all of that.
Anna You are really blest you have helped me understand so much. Glad you speak on these topics Thanks for all the hard work you went thru shows that if we each pay attention that we will learn these life lessons and have a better life. Thanks so much. Jesus Thank you for Anna! I'll keep working to plug the holes in my bucket with this so I can liove and live better!
I have been watching for about three weeks. This has made a huge difference for me in understanding my own cptsd at age 50. With your help and the books by Peter Walker, I feel myself walking towards that light at the end of the tunnel with clearirity in my eyes.
That's amazing! Thank you for sharing :) -Calista@TeamFairy
I'm just learning about this and I'm 50 too. It's about time.
Me at 51
❤thank you.
Me too at 63
I don't care what any one says about you being "qualified" to help people. You are helping me so much, and some days you are the only person other than my children who keeps me tethered to this existence. Thank you for keeping me here another day.
Yes - autodidactic people like Anna I often find are the best to listen too for information they specialise in and are passionate about
I love the fact that word exists. "Autodidactic" Gives all of our experiences value.
@@josiahamazelooking up that word now…
Same! I hear you
@@Fefe559 That's how life is learned. ❤️
As a therapist who treats trauma, I recommend your videos and daily practice to all of my clients. This is spot on.
Thank you! I wonder if you'd be willing to share a couple paragraphs about that, for my upcoming book, published by Hay House? Please write to me at hello@crappychildhoodfairy.com
So glad to hear Anna's materials are helpful. Thank you!
Nika@TeamFairy
"When you first begin to express yourself let it be clumsy." I love this!!
When the student is ready, the master appears. Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!
Girl! That's what I just said 😂. Let the healing begin, baby!!! The world is ours!! 🪽🦄💜 Transmute/ alchemy : turn our pain into purpose!
@@sarahhendricks7819 🫂 turning lead into gold
❤
" money isn't everything until you don't have any .... then it's everything!"
That is truth
Exactly right!!
Living that!
I try not to let my past control me, but I still find social interactions very hard. I'm 68, and working on it every day. Overall I'm happy. Thanks for a thoughtful video. 🎉
You got this! We're all sending you encouragement :) -Calista@TeamFairy
Even at 79 it can be difficult.
This is what I do too? social anxiety.etc.
I now have a friend with myself .
I just started to work on me! Am finding it very hard, but very worthwhile!
55--same thing here
Yes. I was once high IQ. Married to a narcissist for 20 years. I could feel my IQ sliding downhill. Divorce helped, I have come a long way since then.
@@elipotter369There are plenty of people as smart as you are or even smarter. You will find them all around you the more you heal. But I would suggest that if you have the thought in your head in talking to people that you are having to dumb yourself down, I don't think that's the best approach. Case in point, I'm really pretty smart. I don't always lead with that, you have to know me a little before I let the "really very smart" out. If someone talks to me like I'm not as smart as they are, they never get any farther with me. That strategy has worked well with me, and allows everyone to keep their dignity. :-)
❤❤❤ totally relate! My brain feels useless now.
@@elipotter369well there are a lot of us out here feeling the same way.. after abuse with NPD and such, many of us just want to go hide under a rock forever! But we need to remember that there are other good ones out there too, feeling the same way.
@@reneereif2059 yep.. I feel like a nuke went off after an NPD/BPD relationship. They are such nightmares!
Hard to even remember who I was or function in the day to day a lot of the time.
Me too, I had this internal dialogue with myself for years, "why did God give me this intelligence, and I'm not supposed to use it because my spouse was supposed to be the head of the family and I'm smarter"......lol. That didn't work out well for me in the end.
So sad to hear you're getting the odd hate mail Anna. Here's some love mail to rebalance things! You do great work and I thank you.
A kind lady gave me a soft pink bear when i bravely admitted i hadnt been given soft toys as a young child. This pink bear is now my self love therapy bear. I hold this bear and tell it gently how loved safe and precious she is and that i will not allow anyone to hurt her again and she is now safe and loved. When i get triggered, i make sure to hold the bear close and allow my tears to come and nurture the inner child inside me who was hurt and cried alone so much and no one came to hold me and tell me i was loved and safe. The adults were not there emotionally so now i try very hard to be there for my hurt inner child of those past years. I tell her through holding this bear that i will never neglect her or allow others to abuse her. I will allways be on her side. I will never let her down. Its been so amazing for me to give my inner hurt child all the loving words and attention that i lacked back in those harsh days. I also was given a doll without a mouth and very big eyes and raggy clothes. I see her as me as a child. Big eyes and no ability to speak out and raggy clothes i wore again and again. These days i try hard to wear different clothes every day and take time to dress. I am 73 yrs old and its hard to do these things still but the bear helps and now the doll tells me that i need to speak out and look for kind people first when i do. I use to open up to the abuser types and it got me nowhere. I was looking for love where there was none. Now i see that there are really loving people who do care and i avoid the shitty ones who only want to steal your light. Its been hard but the pink bear has really been a great self therapy tool. That bear is soft pink and so lovely to hold. I hold my little girl that was not held through this soft pink bear.
Thankyou for your videos❤
Thank you for sharing this!
This was so nice to read. Thank you.
The brain fog combined with high expectations from my giftedness in my case actually led to an immense fear of failure. The past few weeks I was finally able to pinpoint the reasons and stop blaming myself. Growth is on the way ❤
There was a very kind crossing guard in my childhood. She didn’t know how much she meant to me, but I’ve tried to emulate her sweetness to others. It helps!
Start loving yourself and respecting yourself. Dignity, civility and respect.
Dr. C ♥️🥰
Trauma is linked to illness...see the work of Dr. Gabor Mate. He has a book called When the Body Says No. He also does work linking childhood trauma and addiction.
Also, I always watch your videos to ground myself. You are amazing Anna!
Another excellent trauma specialist is Bessel Van Der Kolk, his book The Body Keeps the Score is a classic, also check Deb Dana and Dr Stephen Porges and Dr Arielle Schwartz
You are a proof of what i said so many times, that it doesnt always rely on what education or degree u have, but life experience can be as good and often better than education.
Oh wow, 29 minutes in and feeling overwhelmed. I fit most categories but have a 30 year disability that makes it difficult to manage life on top of CPTSD. You're amazing. I'm so glad fairies are real. I'll be sticking around. Thank you, Anna.
I'm so glad you're here! Sending you encouragement :) -Calista@TeamFairy
My sister used to trigger me. Ive learned to recognize it. The first time I recognized the pattern I didn't react. She was surprised and maybe a little grateful that the interaction didn't escalate. We have a better relationship ( for now)
I find it hard to imagine anyone would leave negative comments for someone trying to help anyone, you keep being as helpful as you are.
We know why don’t we? The evil abusers inside them gets super triggered
Hurting people hurt people….or they’re possessed…lol😂
Omg. Several years ago, I too went to the doctor because I thought I had early onset Alzheimer's. I didn't but I never made the connection to dysfunctional upbringing. Thank you for mentioning that. ❤
I thought the same thing too.
You are more hopeful than many therapists I've had . I'm so glad for me you stopped playing it safe. Would love to have a one on one with you
Anna ❤ Everytime I watch your videos, I just feel so heard, seen and understood. "Oh my, she talks about ME!" I just want to thank you, for this amazing work you do! I love your videos, helps me so much to understand myself. And gives me great advices for moving forward 🥰
Psychotherapy was way too disregulating for me too. It was a great way to find clarity and see how I had taken the blame for all the abuse I went through. But since I have for years been so dissociated from my body, and was basically living life from upstairs (my head). I had no connection with my feelings, I even lost connection with ordinary body signs like full bladder, thirst, hunger, temperature, tired - everything was so mixed up too. And my brain went directly into a "how can I fix this" mode. Which is kind of counterproductive when you are tired and all you need is rest/sleep, not to find something to fix the tiredness.🙉🙈 Going to talk therapy just made things even worse for me, cause not only did all the stuff from the past come up to the surface, but I had no idea how to process all the emotions that suddenly started to boil up. It was way too much for my system to handle, I felt so overwhelmed, it ended up with my nervous system to crash. Took me almost a year to recover from it. Finding your daily practice helped me a lot in the beginning, to rid my thoughts of all the fear that kept ruminating my head all day/all night. So thank you for that, what a life saver ❤
Now I'm learning somatic experiencing, I find that to be very helpful and a much safer way to get in touch with my body again. For years, I have been so sleep deprived, it has not felt safe to relax/go to sleep at night. So I have usually just kept going, until I eventually pass out. And of course, not felt replenished when I wake up again. Now I'm finally able to calm myself down and go to bed more like normal people! 😅
I so wished someone could have told me this 20 years ago, when I got diagnosed with CFS. That nervous system disregulation due to childhood trauma was the original cause of all my symptoms! Oh well! Better late, than never! 🤗
You mentioned a sheet for 10 things we can do to re-regulate our nervous system, but I can't find it in the description.
Quitting gluten really helped my depression and fatigue.
Really? Maybe I should try this. Thanks for sharing.
Same! No more brain fog or fatigue or depressed episodes.
Yes is true , keto diet help a lot.
Amen @@franinthesky
So me ! I’m so messed up I don’t even know how to take care of me, Since I was 5, I’ve HAD to take care of everyone BUT me ! Thank you for helping us !❤ saying thank you seems so inadequate compared to how much you are spot on , the brain fog you describe is so how I feel ! The intelligence loss is so exactly me ! Thank you also for making me aware that it doesn’t matter if my parents stood there and told me they were sorry, the damage is done and now it’s up to me to get past it ! I’ve spent my whole life blaming, never realizing that it didn’t matter, can you understand what I’m trying to say ? In a nutshell? Thank you with all my heart for sharing your wisdom ❤
Absolutely, we understand as few others can! Glad you're here :) -Calista@TeamFairy
Hang in there!! welcome to your real life.
2 things that are upsetting for me to accept:
1 If we ever do studies, I'm quite certain we will find that most people with moderate to severe mental health struggles have had trauma in their childhoods.
And 2 Our health systems aren't concerned with saving health care costs, quite the opposite I'm afraid.
Helping people is unfortunately second to profitability, especially within mental health and addiction.
It also looks to me like elderly care is beginning to be financially exploitative 💔💔
yes. Almost 100% of addiction has childhood trauma lying beneath it. Gabor Mate has done a fair bit of the research (and compilations of existing research as well!) on this topic.
Yes, I agree. I think the more we get educated and share, the better for everyone.
Fairy you are such a God send you have a unique magic that I think it's your soothing voice, your incredible gift of helping us you're like a soothing cup of tea in this harsh cold world I just Love you to bits! Thank you for all the good you do in the world!❤❤❤ PS top of my list this New Year do your Daily Practice! 😊Happy Blessed Holidays!!!!!❤❤❤
I am so relieved you didn't listen to the negative voices and play small. YOUR HUGE. It is almost like a mirror when you talk. I am seeing you say exactly how I live and act.Ughhh. I appreciate you so much. It's so foggy I can barely see my hand in front of me. I get so much from the community....thank you. Anna I am triggered so dysregulated and confused....again. My situation is complicated. I have a hard time concentrating on your videos right now but I am trying. Never give up, Never surrender. Thank you Anna
I am so grateful this vid came out rn... I've been a fan of CCF vids for about 10 months to a year and this is a great refresher! *And* lemme just brag a lil bit: I had my first coffee date/girl date/whatever date yesterday since almost 10 years of living back with my codependent narcissistic parent, and this vid is helping bring me down and stay Grounded as I clean the house 😅 I *so* hope other people know that this doesn't have to last.... CCF is def that "big sis" energy we all need sometimes 😂❤❤❤
You are so right about diet helping. Since I started on a healthy Ketogenic diet/lifestyle on 5 Aug this year, I have noticed my head is clearer, depression has lifted a lot, symptoms like fatigue, swollen ankles, bad skin have improved so much. I've dropped 11kg/24lbs so far which is fantastic!
A low carb, no sugar diet with healthy fats, proteins & green vegetables, salad - & no alcohol at all have made such a difference to my mind & my body. And along with intermittent fasting, I have no cravings anymore for bad sugary high carb food. (Dr Eric Berg's info is great).
I walk my dog every day - he gets me out of the house especially when I didn't want to leave the house most days.
I've watched your videos for a over year and only recently I decided to 'care enough about me' & start doing your daily practice and this is also helping me greatly. My intention is too continue both of these lifestyle changes to help me heal. Thank you Anna your videos are such a blessing.
Thank you for sharing! So glad to hear your healing process goes well!
Nika@TeamFairy
Anna, you're a gift from God for folks like us who are struggling with CPTSD. It's so phenomenal to hear from someone who has gone thru the experience of CPTSD.
Hey there, Anna, this is an absolutely fabulous compilation of "ground level" info and encouragement on moving forward and healing from C-PTSD. Thank you for sharing all your years of experience so accessibly!
Jill: Literally 40 years later, I am STILL trying to get my mind wrapped around the ENORMOUS betrayal I experienced. The whole experience was one big lie - and I fell for it. Just BEGINNING to experience the SHOCK - even after 40 years. Still trying to identify and pick up the pieces - - - Wow!!!
It is heartbreaking to hear that you would receive hate mail!! You have helped me, and so many people, so very much. I just wanted to say thank you XXX
I am so grateful for you Anna. I love the way you are kid and gentle and real! I’ve always felt awkward, different, not worthy and alone. What would I do without you? You have given me insight and hope. I’m 64 and married to a narcissist for 20 yrs and feel like I’m dying on the vine…it’s so unhealthy to be ignored, I valued and unloved. I really tried every angle but now I know my “picker” is broke. I want to say yes to my life! I hope there’s still time for me to have some happy years! I dream of being a valued companion to someone. I know someone won’t just show up and save me. I just need a little happiness before my life is over or I get too old. Thank you for explaining everything…you’re such a lifesaver.
Good luck on your transformation, and godspeed!
I met a mother and her son today. And witnessed her blaming others for her son's failing to win a competition. She blamed the staff for not being a fair judge and belittled others kids and their inability to win. Her son started to cry, they both were stressed out because they did get the prize of a fair competition. Lord have mercy on the mother and her son. It is such a trauma to live a life thinking you are better than everyone else with no humility nor gratefulness for life. How will they feel better nmand happy thinking they are better than others and aim for the prize and not the journey.
At 68, your message has huge impact. In fact a breakthrough of light also. Still want to remain isolated and havent attempted daily practice. Thanks a million.
DP is here for you when you're ready!
Thank you for having the courage to step forward. Just the act of finding a therapist is a challenge . You have been such a saving grace in my life. I appreciate you
Glad you are here!
Nika@TeamFairy
Unrelated Side Note: Guhrl your hair is lookin' so good lately, Props!
WOW; your intro is SO ME in my early teens to early 20s. When I was busy with family-raising and busy busy, I didn't care as much, but now it's quieter... I'm almost 60 and starting to fall back into it and struggling. Much thanks for this! It really spoke to me.
Same here , we'll hang on together with the help of Anna
Tapping and belly breaths were really game changers for me when it came to regulation.
can i just say, that this is all good advice, relevant to everybody.
even having a good childhood, you still end up with these issues.
I hate homework. And I know the healing power of doing so.
Looking for yet another therapist,. 3 years of insomnia have done a number on my already fried nervous system. Where the will to do anything feels Herculean. The body keeps the score, I could've written that book. When I read it, my body knew, without my damaged parts not wanting me to know
The work you have done, without all the crap that exists today is incredible. Much respect to you crappy fairy childhood lady.
I have driven everyone away . It happened gradually and my cherished solitude,,have become an unbearable loneliness.turns out I can't manufacture people.
Magnesium glycinate helped me sleep for more than 3 hours, just putting that out there in case it’s something you have not tried & can tolerate 🙏🏽
To date: I have been following the things learned from "crappy childhood fairy" and the books by Paul Walker as best I can every day.
I have started performing better at work and mending things with my wife and family. I still find it difficult to be out in public for two long by myself, but it's getting better. I am not saying everything is great. Somedays and even some weeks are harder than others. My point is that things have gotten better.
That's wonderful! Thanks for sharing :) -Calista@TeamFairy
❤
Ironically, this video came up and played on its own. Now I can’t stop watching. I am applying the Daily Practice Today! I hope to have results.
We're all rooting for you :) -Calista@TeamFairy
The brain stuf is so real. Thank you for your truth Anna! We all need to hear the fact that we need to be truthful! The more we hide, the bigger the goblin gets. Love your context. You are appreciated!
You are so welcome. Thank you for your comment!
Nika@TeamFairy
I too asked for a dementia test when I was younger.! I'm 68 now and afraid of my future. I'm alone and thankful for your videos
It's good to hear your videos as it makes me realise that's it's not just ME, and other people are experiencing similar issues. There is hope in your messages for me that positive change is possible. Thanks for sharing.
Thanks for watching! And yes! Healing is possible!
Nika@TeamFairy
I’m so glad you told the truth. I tell the truth now, and am not ashamed of my cptsd. You have helped me immensely.
I've read "The Body Keeps The Score"... it's a great book, I sent a copy to my mom (we were traumatized together) and she refuses to even acknowledge anything. It's crushing because I will never, ever have that relationship with my mom that I've always wanted/needed.
I hope you didn’t go on to marry, like me. The difficult to get love from, kind of person.
Do you remember what the other book was?
I can’t find a reference to it.
Can I just say to you Anna, how amazing you are.❤ You are one in a million. I love you. Keep going. You help so many people.
my god, that dementia part hits home. It got really bad for me after a certain situation and i got panic attacks, so i went to my doctor and told her i feel like my brain is not working correctly anymore and I might develop something like alzheimers or schizophrenia.
curious to know what you doctor suggested?
@@Aristaifly I was supposed to be called by radiology, but no one has contacted me yet.
So thankful that I found your channel. I plan to do a deep dive into all your materials. I wish parents would really understand the best gift they can give to their children is a happy, healthy childhood.
Thank you for being a part of our community here!
Nika@TeamFairy
LOVE LOVE LOVE the house and front porch analogy!wish this was taught to us as children!you have a gift!
Thank you for all that you do to help us through this journey called Life. May God always bless you.🤗❤️
Thank you for your kind words! -Calista@TeamFairy
Oh goodness. You've done it again, Anna! You've basically described me to a T and come out with a video so poignant to my present circumstances that it's creepy (or maybe it's fate, and I was destined to see this)...
Just today, I was journaling ("daily practice" style) about one of my jobs. I've been lucky enough to have a paid performance gig this year, and while I'm grateful, I've been scared shitless that I will "give myself away." We just finished our intensive dress rehearsal week, and it's taken all of my self control to shut my mouth and not get myself in trouble. No one else in my cast or my directors seem to feel the need to edit themselves, and I get earfuls of their political and mainstream views, and am assumed to agree with them. There are a few members that I suspect don't like me (this might be my intuition or it might be the CPTSD lying to me). Every time I do open my mouth to offer input or share something about myself, I end up later at home condemning myself for opening my mouth and wishing I could just shut up in company. I play small in an industry where self promotion is key and getting along with cast mates and directors is essential... Therefore, I stay small. I am doing the DP everyday, and it helps, but I still drop into this self editing and judgment place every time I'm in the company of those who I perceive as potentially threatening due to ideological differences. To add to that, I've always been different - thought differently, lived differently, very controversial - and I can't seem to figure out how to authentically be myself while getting along with others (or if I can't get along, how to have the boundaries to stand up for myself or others when necessary OR hold my tongue when necessary, being that I'm in a professional setting).
Being kind and asking others how they are is something I HAVE been working on, however, and I can see how that opens up the smallest of connections to these people in my life right now.
Hi! I was reading this and deeply related to some of the things you said, especially that last part where you’re realizing how to form connections, and the bits about giving yourself away, disagreeing with peoples points of views but seeing your opinions as rude or controversial… and it hits close to home especially as a late diagnosed autistic female. It took me 25 years to figure out because it’s more covert, but you might want to look into that. I’m saying this as lovingly as I can. Just a possible little hint into your self discovery and healing journey.
Also I know for a fact that my cptsd has been made worse from having been an undiagnosed autistic and feeling like no one would ever love and understand me for who I am. No idea if I’m projecting, sorry if that’s the case!
Calming your triggers down is the hardest part of healing Cptsd.
It can certainly be very difficult. Glad you're here! -Calista@TeamFairy
Thank you Anna,
That you are mentionong it, that the once victims, can get predators too. And even if not so, they can also be nasty, jealous and so on and hurt other people.
So yes, it's important for EVERYBODY to listen to critics and look inside your true heart, if there is something right in there. And also crappy childhood victims survivors have sometimes to say sorry to others. And it's for all people hard to do so.
💜
I love the daily practice. I actually thought how am I ever going to fill 5-10 minutes with fears and resentments 2x a day-- well the words just flow onto the page I don't even have to think, the fears just pour out. I'm so grateful for this technique and having a place to release those thoughts. It is helping me already; I have been able to do things again slowly and I am so grateful.
Sometimes, when you literally have no support system at all, you feel like this really is all life has to offer. That's the best you will have. It's stay where you are or know that every day holidays, birthdays anything will be experienced alone.
No.14 - talking about self care and hair being brushed at the back😂tickled me ( I’ve been there)
Thankyou for another wonderful video ❤
^Thanks for an earlier video, not too long ago. I made a comment and in that comment I went over all the BS that had been gone thru in my life. It was in your video that it became clear to me to quit being a broken record! It's just all negative garbage that keeps one down. I've spent a literal lifetime trying to understand the whys. Am 76. From the dry clinical standpoint one gets it (the answers are dead and buried.) It is about emotions & feelings,. Ultimately the "safe havens" we go to are neither safe or comfortable. The only comforts come from familiarity. IT can be a prison of ones own device. The inner child only repeats what it has heard. While assuming a "victims" roll is not a good idea, understanding that you have been victimized thru no fault of your own is a necessity for healing. Feelings of self worth are attainable goals. Mindfulness is a wonderful tool.
Oh I am so very great full for finding your RUclips Channel Anna Fairy!!! Thank you so much you are truly a Crappy Childhood Fairy! gracias from México your neighbor country!!!
I just want to say, I ❤ you. I wish I found you earlier in my life and someone would talk about this in 🇫🇮 You are life saviour. Huge, huge respect for you
You have diagnosed me. Anna, you have helped me to at least begin to think about taking the first steps out of this. I thank you so much. I can do this. Please keep on helping trauma-damaged people. God bless you so much with all that is good.
I just discovered you. I am going through a tough time in my life right now. Listening to your videos help me.
I love u .. you have helped me so much . I am 54 and have been through ALL of what you are saying. Everyday I feel stronger. Thank you
❤❤❤❤ THE FIRST FEW WORDS....
WAS ALL I NEEDED TO HEAR, BEFORE
KNOWING I NEEDED TO HEAR MORE,
LISTEN AND LEARN. ❤❤❤❤ thank you
Completely agree re: ADD diagnosis being over used. I wondered for years why prof. I knew didnt recognized the anxiety in myself and others that i thought to be painfully obvious.
Anna, Thank you for the work You've done here.
I've never heard my survival tools described as "playing small," but it's been very hard to make sanity out of garbage behavior rooted in narcissistic parenting.
I feel you have helped me restore some IQ points. Just your validation has helped.
My power loss is THE most damaging consequence of CPTSD - especially in terms of my career.... I haven't had one for 15 years because I have had too many jerks imposing themselves....too few tools.
Thank you for your tools. ☺️😇
We completely understand. I'm glad you're here now! -Calista@TeamFairy
I have been noticing this brain issue and praying for answers. I just said to some friends some of these exact words. Thank you!
I appreciate you more than words can convey.
I found the crappy fairy when my therapist wanted me to focus on my self and understand the healing process from neglect and abuse and ostracism of childhood, I used to listen to podcasts on trusting others blah blah blah because I was not the problem, the fairy knows who I am inside and out ❣️
SO much helpful information packed into a single video. Thank you for putting what has taken you years and years to learn, and condensing that in an excellent way. Much appreciated.👍😊
Thanks Anna for helping me navigate the strangeness of life.
Anna,
I love that you do your work here!!!
Everybody on this path is so so important. ❤💜☀️
How did this land in my suggested videos today? You're really reaching me today, Anna. Thank you for being here for us. ❤
You are so welcome. Thank you for watching!
Nika@TeamFairy
I grow up with my needs being partly neglected / some of my needs, i can relate to this, nailed it, thanks, i am looking forward to interacting with you
Thank you for your amazing & wise messages! They are so heartfelt! God bless you for using your pain & experiences to help others heal! I believe that is our main purpose! I am sensitive, extremely a.d.d. & have a very dysfunctional family. I take care if my 97 year old mother. She was difficult but God has softened her & she has always had faith & been an amazing prayer warrior! My older sibling do not even see her, They are stuck in anger & pain. Good heals our emotional pain if we ask him to & believe he will. Takes a lot of prayer & Godly influence! God has always blessed me with amazing loving & wise Godly people. They can make up for the narcissism & neglect, I feel forgiveness & good boundaries help, God bless you! I wish I had found you earlier!
Dear Anna, you and your team are truly Godsent! I am grateful to have had the opportunity to discover you. You're making a difference and y'all are great at it!
I'm so glad the channel has been helpful! Thank you for your kind words :) -Calista@TeamFairy
Thank you for this video 🙏 hugs from Australia
I got a new 'daily practice'
more accurate a 'responsive practice'.
(Tho it feels lately there is a daily
conversation which is brilliant
to moving me to be my full size).
When have had a conversation where
a conflict has been addressed
the frazzle has been pressed
when new ideas has been expressed,
{like now, like when my notes
taken during some
of your videos},
when have a feeling of complete,
26:44
the only thing left to say
"We had a most brilliant conversation,
thankyouthankyou,
the only request
is you as well as I
(consistently pause
for a swell of emotion)
thank those you have undoubtedly
have given their support
to you,
to me;
with that support
this brilliant conversation
sparkles
in my eyes,
in my heart;
Thankyouthankyou
Thankyouthankyou".
My word Thankyouthankyou
means that in this moment
I thank you;
so much, that best of you that I thank
is wish to replicate
the later half of my coined word
is for the hope
I may remember you
when
the thought, the behavior
becomes mine
then
a share thankyou-
for you, that you are
for me, that I have become.
I had a plan to finally leave my emotionally abusive, alcoholic husband this fall by finally working full time when our oldest daughter got to college this fall. Then got a diagnosis of breast cancer, which means i have to stay for health insurance and recovery. To depend on a person who I cant trust until i recover. But emotionally I just can't. So very much relating to the frustration of spinning my wheels and not being able to move forward for at least 4 more months.
Could you say you need to stay somewhere close to the hospital for recovery and rent a small flat? So leave without officially leaving. At least you’d have some space and peace to recover.
I really hope you are doing better, not worse. Wishing you wellness along with all the things you want for yourself in the future.
What brave steps you have made, though! To come to such a decision is huge and life affirming. If you need support there are so many groups to reach out to. The patient advocates at your local hospital may have resources. And your doctor.
Can you apply for medi-cal? Or medi-caid?
Lobby your politicians, for single pay healthcare. Like in civilized modern countries.
Thank you for your channel. I believe there is a significant number of people who can benefit from your teaching who are unable to assess the damage. They might be like me, thinking: "I didn't have such a horrible childhood. Domestic violence wasn't a constant. Mom and Dad did the best that they could." We then tell ourselves: "Just forgive them. You are a grown adult now, and you have to just move on."
I am only a few videos in, and there is so much of what you are saying that is resonating with me. The mix of physiology/brain chemistry, finances/vocation, and the psychological/thought patterns seem to be reinforcing like a rope of coiled strands, so that it becomes difficult to untangle the issues. I know my childhood had a lot to do with the way that I am withdrawn and detached as an adult. Up to now, I thought the solution was to address the physiological, so I was taking high amounts of caffeine and brain performance supplements. I am seeing now that this is not enough. There is still work to be done.
I really hate it when someone who has been abusing me emotionally tries to make me the scapegoat for their childhood pain and puts me on the defensive! It also stinks when their approach to a relationship with you is a one-way street and they do everything they can to put you down and they dismiss your needs. Why should I abandon myself completely? It doesn't keep them from putting me down, anyway. Walk away time!
You are so amazingly helpful. Thank you for this content!
The older I get, the more difficult it is for me to interact with people. Why do the symptoms get more harsh when we het older?
You must heal.
Radical acceptance.
Take risks and build new neural pathways.
You have to.
It’s the only way.
-Best Wishes ❤
My parents what a combo. I had a physically abusive father and mother that taught me it was my fault that he hit me and my siblings. My older two sibs were in school when he got cancer and then was home 24/7 ( he was abusive before cancer but he went to work every day before that)they were old enough to get out of his way. Me and my younger 2 brothers were not😢. My father died almost 20 years ago and my mother no longer knows anyone. So my sibs and I will never get an apology that is for sure!!! We siblings rarely take about it. We certainly were trained not to talk about it growing up. We all put off committing parenthood until the last minute......
Bless you so much. I am sharing your info with everyone!!!! Thank you for all of your work!! No drugs or alcohol in my house growing up. Decades later I realized my father had PTSD for being in the military during WW2. Mainly he was bomded his unit was part of Army core of engineers that setup and managed portable airports and bridges.........major bomb targets. Sound was a trigger for him...5 kids boy what a mix.
Your videos have helped to finally make sense of so many struggles I have faced in my life … it feels so much less confusing and the more I watch the more I trust that you truly understand where these issues come from, what they feel like and how they interact with all of the things we encounter in life. Thank you
This is by far my favorite video because you call out all the lies that straight up don't work and set people up for failure. I value the truth because by having a reality based mental map of the world and how life is, that is the only way you can make efficacious decisions and get where you want to go.
Glad you're here :) -Calista@TeamFairy
I love listening to you explain and connect your thoughts, ideas and concepts. I wish that this channel was available when I embarked on figuring out me... I am a fan and listen as I still will always be want to heal and learn new tools. I also feel that with the amount of content on your channel there is enough here to help ppl get a glimpse of a vision of potential in their own life. I send ppl here ever since I found this channel. Good stuff
I thank God for putting you on my path. For years I did not know what was happening in my life, now I can know that it is CPTSD, it has been a difficult road to get here, I am trying my best to apply your advice and be able to improve. A few years ago I was diagnosed with hypothyroidism and the symptoms you mention are so similar, especially the brain fog.
I am wholeheartedly grateful for your sharing experiences and journey.
Glad you are here!
Nika@TeamFairy
Thank you so much for being real and so articulate, insightful and practical about what the lived experience of complex ptsd feel like and how it can play out in one's life. I have been diagnosed with cptsd this year, and am learning a lot. I'm so glad I came across your videos - incredibly helpful and valuable! Thank you 💯❤🙏
That was the video of a great kickstart.🎉I have been struggling with cptsd and lost my job recently and lost my power and things were going up and down but recently down and i was paralized for weeks with my anxiety. After getting out taking a big walk at the city center while listening to this video,soaked in the tips while aired out my mind,after that i got home set down took a deep breath and i was like now or never.i pulled my cv together i got so peoducrive and sent them away to multiple companies.thank you!just what i needed and i overcome this fear!❤
That's amazing! We're all rooting for you :) -Calista@TeamFairy
Thank you for being so transparent and bold. Your RUclips videos have really helped me not only understand myself better but solutions to overcoming these real life struggles. Thank you for giving me hope and understanding so that I can be the best version of myself
Thank you, for sharing your experiences, for reaching out to us, cracking our shells, drawing out the negative so that we can heal, be trye, be hinest, be loved and come out of our cocoons and be the butterflies that we are meant to be. 🦋
Thank you for watching! Glad you're here.
Nika@TeamFairy
Anyone ever mentioned in the group that abandoned kids will continue in adulthood with self- abandonment … they become supersensitive ( empaths) - so that to detect all potential untoward emotional energy around and AVOID bad consequences of it ; they will also continue sacrificing all their resources to support the significant ones so that they attain all their goals , putting aside their own needs and goals - SO THAT NOT TO BE REJECTED AGAIN …
Now I want chanting water aerobics classes.
Omg - letting things that were untrue or unfair just go with it, that hits a spot, i did this in my previous workplace, sort of going with it and hoping it doesnt get worse that was me, it actually did get worse in that workplace. Being assertive feels scary after experiencing all of that.
Others have explained this to me but not nearly as effectively. You add tremendous value. Thank you
Anna You are really blest you have helped me understand so much. Glad you speak on these topics Thanks for all the hard work you went thru shows that if we each pay attention that we will learn these life lessons and have a better life. Thanks so much. Jesus Thank you for Anna! I'll keep working to plug the holes in my bucket with this so I can liove and live better!
You speak from the.heart, glad you push on ❤
Thank you for your kind words! -Calista@TeamFairy