"I was awarded the Military Cross - but it ruined my life." RAF veteran tells his remarkable story.
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- Опубликовано: 11 сен 2024
- Please take a few minutes to watch this film with Sergeant Dave Hayden MC - a highly decorated veteran of both the Iraq and Afghanistan conflicts, who served for 24 years with the RAF.
It’s a story of incredible heroism, bravery, loyalty, loss and, sadly, heartbreak, when Dave’s world disintegrated around him as crippling PTSD took hold.
But there is hope, too.
Thanks to military charities, Dave has rebuilt his life and, in his own words, now ‘has a reason to get up in the morning.’
Please note, this video contains strong language and details relating to suicide.
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Even 39 years after leaving the army, I'm still a soldier; everyone else is a civy. Those who served understand. Dave, you're a brother from a different mother; thanks for doing this.
🫡🎯
I am, and always will be, bound by the oath I took. I will always be a soldier. My attitude and body may not be up to the task anymore, but if you dig down past the bullshit you'll find at my core a great big part of me stamped 'ARMY'
Bravo Zulu, brother.
Tks for your service...much appreciated.
Tks for your service...my bro was the same...Cameronians/RA/RTR@@carlhicksjr8401
Really brave and impressive and powerful from someone who also achieved a lot for the RAF Regiment at its best, plus MERT (after all the well known less impressive things known) - it took massive courage to share this and something we all identify with. Like others have said - once you've been a soldier of any sort you never really stop.
Broken soldiers should be treated with the highest respect and given everything they need to live their best life. Thank you for your service.
NOPE
With you until the Yankified "FANK YEW FUR UR SERVICE" Fuck right off with that Americanised glorification of the uniform
@@milocunningham9473
Thanks ... I've zero respect for people who go to other people's countries and murder people for money at the behest of corrupt politicians.
THESE ARE NOT HEROES IN ANY WAY .
Amen 💯
Here is a man who has something to cry about God bless and keep him and his .
Why is it that people who give everything for their country get nothing & yet others who give nothing get everything 🤔
Thanks for your honesty Dave in baring your soul & allowing us a glimpse of your inner demons & hope that you continue to heal.
Thank You 🙏🏼 for your service.
It's a shame we can't look after everyone like the country should!
Could not have said it better myself. He is a brave soul. Hope the brotherhood can support him and he finds peace.
Yeah ....don't fret about the 500,000 iraqi children these people murdered.....
No biggie right,?
I briefly served with Dave on 3Sqn at RAF Aldergrove. He was a guy many looked up to, knowledgable, motivating and encouraging!
Tks for your service. Dave needs the support of the brotherhood.
RAF Aldergroves now just known as belfast international now? or is it still a JHC?
I don´t understand HOW his wife and kids left him, when He Needed them the Most!!! This is Heartbreak. All the Best from Brasil Dave!!
Learn about women.
I was on the range with Dave a while back and we had a seise fire because a boat had crossed the saftey arcs, he shouts to me "DOBBO", "get your arse over here" i go over to his fire trench and get in with him, he was massive to me in stature, and was a SGT, i was only a fresh LAC, he gives me one of his ciggies and we're just there chatting for a moment, id never been treated like that from a high ranker and never was again for the rest of my military career, Dave made everyone laugh and no one had a bad word to say about him, absolute legend and im glad to see him doing so well now, per ardua Dave❤️
Sound guy isn't he dobbo, I seen him a couple years ago came into where I work as a civvy was good seeing him again, was a top tac SGT to us
@georgewaites1583 eyyyy if it isn't my old mucka Waites!! Yeah he was dead sound mate, heartbreaking to watch him so tortured by it all ey, glad he's getting there though, I'll give you a message in a bit la
These guys like Dave, should never ever find themselves homeless, under no circumstances what so ever, and any soldier that has faced what Dave had to face should always be supported by the Government he walked for, best of luck for the future Dave, hope all goes well.
So, I grew up as kid living with pissed off Vietnam vets. Then I joined up and became a pissed off veteran myself.
There are a lot of veterans who want absolutely nothing whatsoever to do with the government, including VA. Their level of distrust in 'the system' is pretty incredible. And to be clear, 'the system' means anyone who wasn't there with them in the Land of Bad. Even older combat veterans have a hard time getting through at times. This is one of the symptoms of PTSD... paranoia, distrust, rage and disenfranchisement. A lot of these guys feel so guilty that they just want to go up into the hills, set up a camp, and drink themselves to death. And the DEFINITELY don't want anyone's pity.
This makes it hard to get them services. And there are a LOT of services out there for them [depending on where you live, of course]. From an American point of view, in order to get VA services, you have to submit to yet another uncaring government bureaucracy [as they see it] and that worked out so well for you the last time you did that, right?
And while I don't know the exact process in the UK, I'm willing to bet good money that many UK veterans have similar emotions about it all.
Yes they feel abandoned, that nobody cares...PTSD is a terrible thing to have and very few understand it unless you have served. Thankfully it has been brought out in the open and one day the public will understand and contribute the he various Vets charities that can help...Good luck to all, they are precious.@@carlhicksjr8401
Its utterly utterly disgusting the way our veterans are treated. The establishment are quick to send them to war from the comfort of their armchairs and then treat them like third class citizens. Veterans should be at the top of the list for everything, healthcare, housing, financial support etc. Thank you for your service.
Had a cry watching this.
I was at the COB during this. Rounds flying over the camp. Fruity tour!
Got discharged myself after 21 years with CPTSD
Former RE
Much love xx
Tks for your service. Good luck in your endeavours.
Good luck Dave, great to see your doing well and enjoying your golfing role. I served for 41 years, miss it like crazy, struggling a little bit but nothing like you. You’re an inspiration, push through to the reorg 👍👍👍
You're a brave man. You not only survived those tours, you survived what turns out to be an even bigger threat to service men and women. Best wishes from Limerick Eire
Keep that positive mindset Dave, you've come along way.
Dave, always try and remember this. The world is a much better place with you and people like you in it. The true bravery you have shown by opening up and talking about your experiences is inspiring. I can only dream of striving to be half the man you are.
He won’t like it, but what a legend, thank you for your service.
As the interviewer said it takes great courage to speak openly like Dave did. This courage will hopefully help him live a " normal" life in the future. The sad thing is that this country fails to support veterans to an acceptable level and it's falls to charities to fill the gap. People like Dave who serve their country are far braver then me and this country should help them when required
Very powerful when a man like Dave bears his soul. Thanks for sharing your journey and wish you well.
This story brought tears to my eyes and I haven’t even served the things our vets go through and they’re still not compensated is aggravating.
I had the pleasure of working with you at Lossie Dave, you will always be epic. 51 always.
It was a pleasure meeting Dave. A true hero.
Your grief speaks volumes about your heart and soul. Stay strong. I hope you do well in your new chapter. You deserve peace and happiness and the love of family and your friends.
Hi Dave, as a former artillery soldier who has been there and done what we say is are job, yes you where right about, nobody being there to help when you came out of the forces, my resettlement person was a joke. ie never seen him, that’s support you need to move over to civilian life. What I would like to say Dave you have been through a lot and life is worth living do not feel guilty about what you did, you as all of us service personnel always do is just are job. Martin will always be in your thoughts, so please live your live to the full you deserve the respect and support from the team/ foundation that has helped you through those tough times. From a drop short R.A. to a fly boy RAF.Respect brother ( military family). God bless you.
My heart breaks for the constant struggle of Dave and so many other Vets. It is imperative that We citizens care for each of these Vets who give so much.
listening to Dave just confirms my paltry £10 a month is well worth it, thanks Dave, when you say I don't want anything special well buddy you should not only want something special we as a nation should give you everything you need, YOU ARE SPECIAL.
Thank you. I’m not a soldier, but you spoke to a lot of my darker moments with C-PTSD and it made me feel not so alone. Thank you
Dave you are a lovely man I pray that you continue to heal.
I apologise for what our government has done to you soldiers coming home to nothing, I am ashamed.
God bless you always
What people don't realise is that we cannot chose to forget, we can only learn to deal with them and process them, but we cannot control what we remember.
These guys will carry their memories for the rest of their lives, and we owe it to them to help them manage.
Been playing the Vets lottery for just over a year now, i couldnt care less about winning, just so happy to be able to help these amazing men and women anyway i can.
The interviews and seeing that the money actually gets to the Veterans and not some shell to make money is incredible and the reason i play.
Thank you all for the sacrafice
Thank you so much for your support - it is hugely appreciated.
Never even heard of this until now, my son is in service and absolutely loves it.
That story from Dave just ripped me apart. So pleased he is still with us today, and hope his family come back in his life while heartedly. I’m going to support the cause now, dam worth it! Stuff the National Lottery, I’m moving over. If you read this Dave, Stay Safe, Stay Positive. US Rock Apes are there for you. 🦍Per Ardua 🦍
Hi Dave,
I’m an ex Infantry soldier of 30 years service and I thought I had seen everything life could throw at me.
I am typing this message through my tears , tears for a hero, and that hero is YOU !
I can only offer you my greatest respects, and if I could choose a brother, I would choose you.
Stay strong mate and god bless you.
Tks for your service....its a true brotherhood.
"if I could choose a brother, I would choose you" . . . that's one of the most powerful statements Ive ever seen on youtube
as a former soldier who did N Ireland and was in the Cypriot war 1974 in the UN seeing through all its violence i do try to understand his trauma; my parents were service people in ww2 and an uncle who was blown up in a tank and he would just break down but my mother would say we all went through it and we must deal with it; my father would say to people who espouse war; War you do not know what war means this guy is a product of war and only he can deal with it in his mind i wish him good luck and hope he has true friends and relatives that stand by him
dave, and everyone else that has served and are suffering, in what ever way. im sorry. thank you for what you have do for me
Dave thankyou for your service 24 years.im from a military family. I suffer from mental health myself. So I understand how you feel. It has taken me 3yrs to find peace. I live in a quiet place now birds and other animals . Hope you find your quiet place.thankyou. xx
The Military and Civvy street are Poles apart.... But having said that the Military are only slowly realising that they have a responsibility Post Service for what they have created.
Civvy Street muddles along, and the biggest problem for me when I left the R.A.F. in 1959 was trying to handle the casual way things got done, when I had been trained for Action.
The Forces need to start preparing Families and Loved ones in what to expect and being prepared.
Civvy Street loves to be safe and comfortable in a warm bed.
A few years ago I was talking and having a Beer with an Aussie Army Intelligence Officer who had just return from his 5th Afghan deployment, that day he had attended a compulsory session with an Army Shrink .... the immature Shrink started off by asking him "what he expected to see when he arrived in Afghanistan in this most recent deployment." he said he stared at the Shrink and quietly said "FAIRIES".
After a couple more Cold Beers and a bit of talking shit.... He thanked me for my time an said "It has been Great nagging with you... because you understand" I just said that well we have to take care of you 'Pongos' ... he looked at me and asked "Why do you call us Pongos".... Well where ever the Army goes ...the Pong Goes.... He looked at me slapped me on the back and said "Bastard"
I asked hi if he knew what he was going to say when he came across the Fairies! .... "Yes I will send them to the F&%#ing shrink".
Dave I was also a Caddie before I signed up with the R.A.F..... The Pro pulled me aside on my very first Round as a Caddy and Pointed to his Eyes and said "Keep these OPEN, then pointing to his Ears keep these OPEN and pointing to his Mouth he said Keep this SHUT until you are spoken to"... That was the best advise that saw me pass out from R.A.F. Padgate on Basic Training without any dramas.
Hey Dave as a Rock Ape/Pebble Maggot ..... Wanna Hug!.... Thanks Mate you did what we all would have done ....Looked after your Mates Back
Thank you Dave, for each one of your colleagues who admits to the nightmare of PTSD and mental health struggles , there must be more who aren’t able to manage with their mental health , who don’t have the support they desperately need
So sad you have gone through this Dave ,it’s great you have found a new purpose in life,it’s nearly 30 yrs since I left and I’m still a soldier inside.Great job by the veterans lottery
Hang in there Dave... you're not alone. There are many of us out there that understand your pain. God Bless mate.
My uncle was in WWII and 50 years after the war he told me that he had nightmares every night still.
He may not like being called a hero, but he absolutely is a hero, not only for serving and saving others, but also for telling his story and showing civilians what people who serve their country put on the line for their country.
Thank you for your service!! I wish you all The best !!!
Thank you for your noble sacrifice. And good for you, more people need to hear and share these stories. I do worry that veterans aren't looked after, so it's really positive to see these sorts of charities working. .
Dave, I wish you all the very best for the future. Thank you for your service and for sharing your incredible story.
We are all better off because of you and all the veterans and serving members of our armed forces.
What a powerful video from a powerful man. I have never served but I have felt despair something like Dave's for other reasons. To see him tell his story and to show his emotions openly means a lot to me. How such a "tough" man can talk about this and to show it to the world means more to me than he could know (and so many others, I am sure), he continues to be "tough" but in a much better way. The man made me cry but I think I needed that. Thank you sincerely, Dave. Much respect.
Hi Dave, Im an Aussie Ex soldier, 20 years East Timor, with a support unit. Joined 1981 19-year-old discharge 2001. I hate people, and I have to struggle every day with chronic pain. I just want to be your friend. My hubby is a Vietnam Vet. we have had a great marriage for 36 years. He and I struggle with PTSD but we love each other. Support each other, but I hate life.
You will only understand if you have ‘served’! We must never forget those who suffer in whatever way from serving this country.
Brave man, I feel for that guy and wish him all the best for the future.
Dave, Live your life as Martin would wish for you. Keep Martin in your heart and he will have life. He would want you to be proud of your Military Cross. Survivor’s guilt is difficult. Too many years of war. I miss the comradery and team aspects. You will again build your life. I will pray for you. From the States, a retired soldier who understands.
Sgt Dave, thank you so much for your service. You are a very brave strong man. I have so much respect for you, you are a true hero. We all support you, and we need you around. Please keep up the amazing work that you are doing. Thank you, Sir!
A very profound video which many of us who served in the military and in conflict zones can associate with. I find it never goes away fully.
For those who are not British you might wonder at how a top bloke like this ended up as he did.
Unfortunately the British forces are still heavily influenced by the class system.
Historically Britain relied on its people to build the Empire.
However those that did the hard work and sacrifice were generally kicked to the curb when they were of no further use.
You can track this all the way back to Trafalgar and Waterloo.
Britain has never looked after these very brave and professional people in the way it should.
Why?, because the elite who run the government and the forces have little to no respect for them.
Remember what the Germans said about the British during world war 1
“Lions led by donkeys “
My thoughts are with you Brother Thank You I remember Martin every year on the anniversary of that fateful day now you have told the story I am humbled by your bravery and your commitment I hope you go from strength to strength PER ARDUA has new meaning what you have been through epitomizes the Corps Motto God Bless You Dave
Over a 28 year career I learned that certain personalities are more likely to struggle with PTSD. I have seen people I know fitted the mould of who would struggle, Often the louder life and soul of the party type, when we have gone through hard times they were the ones that struggled. Everyone in the military who have been in horrible environments and lost people have some form of PTSD, it manifests in different ways. I manage to keep mine hidden and to myself.
Its not popular in the public sphere but many of the military know that being too caring and fluffy about this often makes some peoples suffering worse. Most find it easier to realise that bad things happen in life and it is par for the course of being in the military. You take the wage and bad things sometimes occur and should be expected. It is often best to do the opposite of what the "professionals" in healthcare tell you (Constant counselling keeps them in a job and gets people addicted to it). You should remember what happened, talk to your peers who were in the same scenario, rationalise it for what it was and accept that you were in the military and that these horrendous things sometimes happen. As long as you did your best in those scenarios, you have nothing to feel guilty or bad about.
You also need to remind yourself that you are far from the only group of people dealing with horrific situations, there are many emergency workers that deal with horrific scenarios daily and across the world people are more exposed to life's horrors than we are used to in Western society (we are sheltered) so that when bad things happen, it affects us more.
I wish Dave all the best and hope his coping mechanisms strengthen over time and he can learn to not let his experiences in the past overly impact his future wellbeing.
What a tremendous bloke you are mate- to get back on track like that is beyond good.
Thumbs up. Proper bloke.
I lived and served in the Army in Northern Ireland for 10 years as a part time fully operational soldier in the Ulster Defence Regiment; a regiment within the British Army ORBT both on and off duty. Effectively you were never ' off duty' Constantly vigilance; checking vehicles; always armed.
Ten years. Many in my regiment served longer.
Far to little is talked about around the effects of long term operational trauma. My regiment was the longest serving since the Napoleonic Wars.
I was clinically diagnosed by two psychiatrists with service related PTSD triggered by a road accident, 29 years after my service ended.
The UK is sitting on a MH time bomb. This is not just about recent history, but about all wars and conflicts in living memory and a hunt to ensure no veteran is forgotten.
Sometimes people get pushed too far..hats off to you dave
I’m a french veteran …I’m with. brother I totally understand u….take care of your veterans UK
My dad was in the RAF. He never had to go off and fight in places like Iraq. He went off to Ethiopia with the Hercules when it was the famine in 1985. I missed him like crazy, but proud of what he achieved. Thank you for your service. 🏴🇬🇧💕❤️
Your heart is in the right place but please spare the Americanisms, we don't need to be importing the hollow vapid "fanks for yur service" uniform worship or indeed taking any lessons from them in how to treat our veterans by reducing them to a facebook status buzzphrase.
What a brave beautiful man, stay strong Dave
I bloody love you mate. Yourself and your comrades are the best among men.
"In time hopefully it will be a distant memory"
When you have such strong, intense experiences, those memories never seem to leave. My grandpa had severe dementia/alzheimers for the last 11 yrs of his life. He basically became a vegetable, unable to speak, let alone recognize us or his wife. He was a ww2 vet who never spoke about his deployment in europe. Despite a crippling reduction in brain capability, every once in a while he would speak and say irrational things. He hadnt mentioned his wifes name in 5 yrs, but i vividly remember him yelling for his ww2 buddies right until the end of his life.
Hed scream "jimmy! Get down!" "Hes hit, hes hit! Medic!" "Incoming, stay down" "they got him" etc. I always found it crazy because hed literally go from babbling incomprehensible sounds to a sort of vivid awakening as if he was back in France. Even the look in his eyes changed and seemingly became more aware. Then the lucidity would fade and hed basically become mute again.
Retired after 26 years working in medical field in the US Navy. Did combat deployment to Afghanistan in 2006 with the Marine Corps. Also did deployments around the world doing medical support and with NSW.
Struggled with PTSD and yet, If I could, I would go right back into it. Miss the camaraderie and sense of purpose that it brings.
Full respect to this man. If as a country we are going to maintain a military and send them off to fight on behalf of the King and Country then they must be looked after when they return
Thanks Dave, I couldn't do what you've done, I'm very grateful.
Absolute respect Dave.
Disabled ex service man took me years to get my head right but time does heal take it one day at a time one day at a time 👍🇬🇧242
Its not just the army life, any career that dominates your life when it finishes leaves a sense of loss. I was a teacher for 30 years and found my head going all over the place when i retired. It's the loss of friends and purpose, a total way of life, when its gone a part of you has gone. Add to that the traumas of warfare and its a toxic cocktail.
There are many brave people in our society. Dave’s bravery brought me to tears. I know we are not machines and potentially we all have a point where the human body goes into a mode which is no longer completely in our control. I’ve been there and it took me very much by surprise when it occurred. I had thought I could cope with anything. I learned then that I was mistaken. Just a normal reaction to your intensive service Dave. Well done and just pull yourself back from the brink (Many thanks and all the best for your rich future I’m sure)
Thank you for your service young man.
More often than we realise the psychological wounds do more damage and for far longer than a bullet or a bomb could ever do. Hold on tight Dave. We are with you. Always.
This lad puts it exactly as it is. I was ambushed in NI in 1983, we were petrol bombed in a PIG and on exit my opponent was shot in the head I was shot in the side, my mate died on the way to hospital but I survived albeit infected do to blood crossover, I still have nightmares and yes it did ruin my marriage and work life. Those of us that suffer PTSD refer to it as your new best friend, my new partner has a great deal of sympathy but no one can take away what happened or the route that you are now on. All you can hope is the the incidents are few and far between
Your experience was similar to my bro in NI 70's. None oof hem were looked after properly by MOD./Govt. Now its out in the open more and help can be given through the various charities. Good luck, take a day at a time and a day off when needed. Tks for your service.
Listening to this man broke my heart.
Respect Per Ardua
A wonderful decent human being.
Stirring story. Hope you have a good and fulfilling life, Dave. I’ve joined the lottery, mate!
Thank you Dave, for your service and your willingness to speak so eloquently about it. So many of us are dealing with similiar issues, we can all learn from your example. Stay stong, long and down the middle. You are doing fine.
RiP Beardsy, you and so many others are sorely missed.
#Neverforget
#Neverforgotten
Thank you for sharing your story
People take the mick out of the RAF Regt, but they should watch this.
People are allowed to take the piss, it’s banter, we give it back, hard. It’s how it goes. If you served you have the right. If you didnt, you dont. Per Ardua
At the end of the day they are brothers and sisters and can come together as one when needed. There will always be competition and banter, its healthy. God |Bless them all.@@here.3070
Thank you for your service brother. I wish you the very best in all that you do. 👊
Well done Dave! Steady on! From your Brothers across the pond! We support you!
Thank you Dave !
You have lived an intense life. You've also earned the right to interpret life as you see fit. Spread love, ya fuka Xxx
17 years of war is a lot to ask of a single soldier
The bravest and most modest man that I've ever met. I wish you the very best for the future. From a serving rock's father.
MASSiVE RESPECT! I hope you re aware of how huge your journey was in the military and now you re still have the courage to be the best version of yourself in golf !
I am an ex squaddie of no where near the years service that Dave served. I am sat here in bits for him. There is so much banter between units, the RAF reg come in for a lot, especially from the army units. No matter any of that, Dave goes to show that no matter the man or woman, no matter the unit they serve in, when the time comes to step up, your training and experience comes to the fore, more still in Dave’s respect the making of the man he is came to the fore. Stay strong brother, you have our love and complete respect for who you are and what you have done in your life.
Thanks mate
Sorry to hear about your trauma mate. Unfortunately mate you’re not alone. Military veterans in your own country also Australia, New Zealand,USA, Canada are going through the same ordeal and their respective governments are not doing anything to help them. Shameful. I hope you get the help you need and hopefully recover mate. Stay strong.
A very powerful video. Thank you Dave for everything you've done for our country, this is from someone who's been in the Army for 31 years. (Still going) I understand you and my heart goes out to you. I too have had struggles with my mental health as a result of experiences in Afghanistan and other traumatic things in my life. Once a serviceman, always a serviceman. All the very best to you my brother.
Respect earned. Everything he said is spot on, I have been out a while now and still haven't settled into Civi Street. unfortunately, no one cares and the military covenant is non-existent as I found out now that I have cancer.
Sry to hear that, rotten luck. Stick with the treatment and hopefully you will be OK. Join one of the Vets associations where you will find like-minded vets. Tks for your service.
Per Ardua Dave.
It’s hard. Very very hard. Reach out.
What always blows me away about these videos is thinking about the droves of men that came back from WWII when there was no proper understanding of the psychology behind these issues. My grandfather never really spoke about the war, yet for years he couldn't sleep in the same bed as my grandmother because he would punch and kick in his sleep.
Dave stand too look in the mirror and salute that guy as I am . Regards too you and yours.
My mum was a WW2 veteran (army) in South East England which was a war zone, she undoubtedly suffered PTSD throughout my childhood, there are two aspects to this at that time PTSD wasn't recognised & a woman suffering that sort of problem can be terrifying to children, mum was unquestionably involved in numerous blood stained disasters just like this soldier.
Solid. Respect mate.
upmost respect and love for this man
Per Ardua Ad Astra, buddy. Keep going. You are an inspiration to those of us that serve.
Tks for your service too Patrick.
You never really stop being a soldier...man or woman and whatever your service or background...
From my experience of being in the Armed Forces, the worst part about all of this is, if you show any signs of Mental Health issues then you’re taken out of your role and sidelined. The Armed Forces doesn’t get it that this removal from your job can make it worse for some people and even ruin their career. I’ve known people be taken out of their day to day trade and put in a back office away from all their peers and it’s embarrassing for them and it has a stigma attached to it. All it does is make you want to hide your mental health issues.
never give dave ,,,i feel your pain