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Raid is the big epic definitely gonna play it because mobile games are fun and cool. Thanks critcrab for introducing me to this wonderful game its gamer goopy cool.
This reminds me of something my friend tried to pull during our first-ever campaign (just the two of us and the DM). He started to go full murderhobo and wanted to burn a body (important to the mystery we were solving) and a tavern that he had once been kicked out of, but he didn't have any fire-starting supplies. He started rubbing sticks together, and I recognized that he was trying to start a fire, so I told him to cut the shit. He did not. He failed to light this fire so miserably that he tried to intimidate the sky into striking the place with lightning to set a fire. This did not work. My character finally realized what he was doing and promptly tried to arrest him (because Lawful Good), beginning a long chain of events that would end in his summary execution by the town sheriff. I have absolutely no idea why he wanted to do this, but it may have something to do with revenge for being (rightfully) removed from that tavern for trying to steal from one of the patrons. His out-of-the-blue attempted arson caused his character's alignment to change from Chaotic Neutral to Chaotic Evil.
So often people try for the whole "Chaotic neutral" entirely because they assume chaotic means they can just randomly do evil things and its fine. It always makes me glad to hear when a "Chaotic Neutral" who should be evil gets that alignment penalty and ends up the cause of their own demise.
Dm: yes, infact you and the rest of the party transcend into the heavens from sheer comfort alone.... except for snowflake, since he generously gave all of his blankets to everyone else, he didn’t have enough to reach the apex of comfort and was therefor left behind.
TheGuardDuck it’s still not enough! Because it doesn’t BURN! *Pulls out bag of lint* LET’S BURN CALIFORNIA TO THE GROUND WHILE THEY’RE BUSY DOING IT THEMSELVES!
"The standard adventurer's pack doesn't come with anything to start a fire with!" ...But the explorers pack and dungeoneers pack both come with tinderboxes
Lesson of the Story: Lots of people want to be the center of attention, especially when it's abundantly clear they're not supposed to get special treatment.
The Tabaxi merchant with a gross overstock of survivalist supplies that -while completely mundane- Snowflake will attempt to sell off to unsuspecting adventurers. A potentially effective business strategy if not for the fact that ALL of the neighboring businesses warn passers-by about him. Of all of the items that are sold, the blankets are the least popular. For they are but thin sheets catered to a desert climate, being sold on a frozen mountainside.
It's always nice to see a DM put his foot down in such matters. As for the guy playing a _merchant_ going "I clearly know best how to survive in the wild" with a _hunter & a lumberjack_ in his group... gotta love how them divas must always be the best at someone elses role
“A merchant is like a homesteader, right? You know, somebody who spends a lot of time outside? And they collect a lot of supplies to share out to their friends, right? Oh, oh, and don’t they all have exotic pets and come from the desert?”
You could possibly justify a caravanireing merchant, but even then he would probably have other people in charge of actual survival, while sitting in his wagon twiddling his thumbs.
Cult mechanicum of mars doing a ceremony to initiate a new tank off the line and appease its machine spirit *this worship is sponsored by Raid:Shadow legends*
The best is when they show up as a half Azamar/half Tiefling that makes their introduction by falling from the heavens like a meteor. DM: Roll fall damage. Ok here is how far you splattered on the ground when you died and your new character sheet.
3 things. (1) Considering how detailed a campaign can be. to the point to where a random stream could be deadly to drink from, and if you have an empty bottle from a used potion you can use that to collect some and then in a future encounter use it to kill the boss of the area. (no joke this happened in a D&D video I watched) Then one should really reconsider having any kind of familiar or mount from a extreme weather environment. Bringing that animal to the other extreme would just kill it nearly instantly I would imagine. (2) Being a traveling merchant would only entitle you to possibly: an infinite bag of holding, General knowledge of other towns, (if you were the DM) awareness of any specific supplies you would need in a given area you’re about to adventure into, and MAYBE some miscellaneous odds and ends that could be helpful in certain situations. It does not mean you are entitled to consider yourself a Deus ex machina. That you have everything needed for every situation and everybody else has nothing, so they must rely on you to save them from everything. (3) it was somebody’s birthday while they were having this ONE SHOT campaign. That plus it was being done on a time limit means that if anyone was going to get any kind of special treatment (if even slightly) it would be the birthday boy/girl. And the fact that Snowflake couldn’t seem to except this prospect, simply means he needs to grow the heck up a lot, and understand a simple aspect of a lot of role-playing games: “It’s not always about YOU.” Sometimes in games the “chosen one” is not the main character, not every story is going to end with you winning, and most importantly for Snowflake, not every scenario ends with the main character and allies surviving.
Here's a tip, though you'll need 2 players to pull it off, have 2 characters: lore bard + rogue (either theif or schwashbuckler), make sure to have nice herbalism and something for arts and crafts. Roleplay as witchers. (The real life version not the videogame version) that shit's really nice specially with a group of 5 or 6 total.
I have considered the possibilities of doing a merchant character like American Pickers. High Chrisma trying to talk their way into the lairs of monsters to trade stuff the creature would like for valuables they consider junk. If all else fails you have some muscle with you for hostile negotiations.
For once, a story where the DM and players don’t just put up with the problem player’s nonsense. Sure they kept him around, but they refused to let him take control, which is very refreshing to see. Thanks for sharing, CritCrab.
the best reactions for sure. I mean, when that guy cuts themselfs out of the story without knowing it, the best thing that happens without even trying. :D
That Guy was trying to be a special snowflake so hard he may as well have gave himself a corn cob pipe, a button nose and two eyes made out of coal. Happy Holidays
To be fair, live wood IS *incredibly* difficult to burn, since it has so much moisture in it, but it'd be nothing to say "you gather dry, downed limbs"
Snowflake: "I am well prepared with blankets and extra firewood because I know survival" DM, if it was me: I am moving a skill points to "deception" from another skill of your choice each time you insist. You get one line of character backstory you can "reveal" (invent when convenient) each time, but if it doesn't have a deception theme I am erasing and ignoring TWO lines of character background story. And once you get in negatives because I know you, I write it for you!
My idea was, after an hour of play time - "So... you have blankets for everyone?" "Yes!" "Torches..." "Enough for all of us!" "Tents?" "One, big enough for... " "All of you, of course. Iron rations, rope, crampons, food for your exotic beast - can't eat local rabbits, I presume, spare weapons, basic alchemy kit, basic med kits for every..." "Yeah, I've covered it all!" "Splendid. Considering that there are no nylon tents in fantasy land, you've just walked across a pathless forest for two hours with 110 pounds of luggage. The ticked-off mama werebear in front of you all will go for the slowest guy. Which is you. You are completely exhausted and in no shape to fight. Amazingly, you're still able to climb the next tree if you shed enough weight. You now have five seconds to name five items that you take with you. Your pants are an item. Mama bear will destroy everything else. " "My exotic animal ..." "Ooh, you didn't mention that it was trained, did you? Bummers. Two seconds."
These Raid commercials keep insulting me. No, I don’t live under a rock, and no, I haven’t heard any buzz about your crummy game. PS edit: I like your channel and don’t feel like the commercial reflects poorly on you. Keep doing what you’re doing Mr. Crab man 🦀
If I were DMing that one and someone wanted to argue with me about why they can’t have a desert beast in the tundra, I would’ve kicked them then and there tbh. But also I only DM for people I figure (and I’ve been right thus far) can be reasonable.
If someone has a specific area that they can't survive in or a certain animal I give them a detriment. You want a snake in a snow biome? You better be able to keep it warm or else it will begin taking exhaustion and eventually expire. :] I like a more realistic touch to my campaigns so I add more realism to animal companions and their ability to survive. It also gives a little more attention to pets/companions for people who like that stuff.
dude bro fair. I’m just saying my issue is if we have an understanding of the setting and expectation (“you are all from a cold forest village”) and the player just says “screw that I’m an exotic trader from the desert and this is my giant viper!” then clearly they don’t know how play the game they’ve agreed to play and need to... well... not play. Also it’s just a bad idea to argue with me as a DM in general. Ask a question, discuss something, confirm that this is a permanent override of an in book rule? Sure. I keep audio notes for a reason and set precedents for future events anyway. Argue? Get your ass up and leave my table. I work retail and deal with, tolerate, and submit to assholes ALLLLLL DAYYYYY at work everyday. I’m not doing that during what is, my recreational time.
@@anoneamose4866 yeah if someone is aggressively trying to fight against the rules then I'll boot em. Otherwise I just let em suffer cause they put themselves in that position. I usually make my world more on the realism side of things so if you wanna be a desert merchant with a viper in a place with a snowy mountain/tundra then you only have yourself to blame if your "oh so cool viper" dies in the snow in the beginning of the campaign.
I had a nightmare once where I was fixing my daughter breakfast. I made a spectacular omelette with ham, cheese, sweet peppers and green onion. We sit down to partake of the food and I asked her if I could get her a drink. She said, "no, but you can take a moment to hear about Raid Shadow Legends - a sick turn based RTS strategy game with 15,000,000 downloads just today! "
*RAID IS EVERYWHERE NOW PEOPLE WHO HAVENT PLAYED IT YET OR REFUSE TO PLAY IT ARE IN DANGER RUN RUN KEEP RUNNING IT WONT STOP SOMEBODY HELP RAID IS TAKING OVER*
"Raid is one of the most talked about mobile games ever." *Laughs in Fate Grand Order, Azur Lane, and Fire Emblem Heroes* No, seriously, Raid is one of the lowest rated gacha games out there.
I have only one serious, absolutely relevant question for this particular story: WHAT OLD SCHOOL D&D GAME IS THAT!?!? I LOVE Retro Scrollers, and have played most of the memorable fantasy genre ones, but that game looks freaking sweet!!
I played a D&D game where we actually turned a dragon to the good side. A player, a "chaotic neutral" rough goblin names Rocks, blew him up anyways. He also killed all the prisoners we freed.
Crab: This video is possible thanks to today's sponsor.. Me: please no please no plea- Crab: RAID SHADOW LEGENDS, MY FAVOURITE GAME TO PLAY. WHETHER IT BE ON THE ROAD OR ON THE CAN, WITH HUNDREDS OF CHARACTERS AND THOUSANDS OF CUSTOMIZATIONS, RAID SHADOW LEGENDS IS BY FAR THE BEST RPG
what upsets me most about this video is that the Fighter fighting the Manticore has a shield but doesn't use it to block the spikes -.- Especially because the skeletons are using shields properly. Honestly, old video game designs were strange.
Recently, I got into a very toxic conflict on RPGHorrorstories. I gave a differing viewpoint on a story and got jumped at by several snowflakes despite saying I was neutral on both sides. This isn't the story by the way, but the community on there is very toxic and it sucks because I had several stories I wanted to tell, but I don't want to with a community like that now.
eh, allow him his desser pet, but it need to carry all the blankets because of the cold it is not used to, and it makes it so cumberson that it will not be able to do anything than being a pet covered in blankets, problem solved :)
I had two players like this, kept looking up rules from books and monster stats. I told them from the get go i use home brew stat blocks and have my own home brew rules for spells (combat/high stress causes spell failure, use concentration instead of percentile etc). One of those players also told me encounters didn't matter or shouldn't and only boss fights should cause PC death, what the hell. My campaign theme is grim dark, you are going to die probably (unless you are smart or savvy). It's like wow, just throw my whole campaign idea in the damn toilet. They all knew what they were playing, it's like they forgot every weekend, the session 0 had to be done every session.
If I was the DM I would've had a meteorite crash down from the heavens and crush Snowflake's merchant cart. And I'd make specific point to mention that all his blankets burnt up.
being a merchant to be the "most important": smol brain energy being a merchant to sell stupid shit like bronze swords with googly eyes attached that "only speak to true heros" as a selling point: fun, probably still small brained but fun
This is about the fifth one of your videos that has come through on the algorithm. Considering I'm probably clicking on another one or two of your videos after this one I guess I gotta subscribe now. Keep up the good work.
I'm going to call BS on the RAID friend finder thing. I'm playing the game with a friend while talking on messenger, we are both on the same exact server and yet cannot locate either one.
A part of me hoped that the exotic beast would drag his wounded body off and either get extremely hungry or get a taste for blood and eat him. That would have been a nice little F U for Snowflake.
Install Raid for Free!
✅ IOS: clik.cc/Emi6V
✅ ANDROID: clik.cc/kNdtC
Start with💰50K silver and get a Free Epic Champion 💥 on day 7 of the New Player Program!
CritCrab do you need help?
Raid sure is a great app. Your channel has put me on to the app, and since this video released, I’ve been playing nonstop for eight days!
@@internetperson8224 you aint real
See that "monthly subscribers" line taking a dive? I see it on socialblade. Really hope that Raid money was worth it.
Raid is the big epic definitely gonna play it because mobile games are fun and cool. Thanks critcrab for introducing me to this wonderful game its gamer goopy cool.
"I make a fire."
"You can't because you don't have the right supplies!"
"I rub two sticks together and burn a pile of blankets."
Glenn Griffon lmao, perfect.
Glenn Griffon haha I’m at work rn and I just bursted out laughing reading this now people are staring
At me
This reminds me of something my friend tried to pull during our first-ever campaign (just the two of us and the DM). He started to go full murderhobo and wanted to burn a body (important to the mystery we were solving) and a tavern that he had once been kicked out of, but he didn't have any fire-starting supplies. He started rubbing sticks together, and I recognized that he was trying to start a fire, so I told him to cut the shit. He did not. He failed to light this fire so miserably that he tried to intimidate the sky into striking the place with lightning to set a fire. This did not work. My character finally realized what he was doing and promptly tried to arrest him (because Lawful Good), beginning a long chain of events that would end in his summary execution by the town sheriff. I have absolutely no idea why he wanted to do this, but it may have something to do with revenge for being (rightfully) removed from that tavern for trying to steal from one of the patrons.
His out-of-the-blue attempted arson caused his character's alignment to change from Chaotic Neutral to Chaotic Evil.
So often people try for the whole "Chaotic neutral" entirely because they assume chaotic means they can just randomly do evil things and its fine. It always makes me glad to hear when a "Chaotic Neutral" who should be evil gets that alignment penalty and ends up the cause of their own demise.
@@matthewlafee5165 Kill them
DM: "The beast attacks you"
Player: "Does the infinite layers of blankets wrappet around my body provide me with extra protection?"
Dm: yes, infact you and the rest of the party transcend into the heavens from sheer comfort alone.... except for snowflake, since he generously gave all of his blankets to everyone else, he didn’t have enough to reach the apex of comfort and was therefor left behind.
3+ to armor class, -1 to dexterity
kapitan19969838 Fireball
@@cheddarcheese4159 Hmm, check mate
DM: No. In fact, the weight of such an unfathomable amount of blankets is so unbearable that you are crushed into a fine red paste. Get off my table.
Snowflake: This fight is too hard!
DM: ... So anyways, the bad guys started blasting.
They were simple villagers going up against a beast/s created by necromancers. What did he expect?
But you know what isn't hard... BLADE Its a great game....
"raid is the most talked about rpg ever"
Nobody talks about it unless they're paid to talk about it
For real lmao
Only people who despise it talk about it
With good reason. I tried it, it's just endless grinding.
CHECK OUT THIS ROADMAP! CHAMPION BUILDS.
That’s why they pay everyone to say it DUH😂
But the real question is this: did they end up having enough blankets?
*No. It’s NEVER enough blankets.*
Spook Horse depends, can you make a steel knife out of them? No? Then it’s not enough.
@@flyingturret208thecannon5 what if they're steel wool?
TheGuardDuck it’s still not enough! Because it doesn’t BURN! *Pulls out bag of lint* LET’S BURN CALIFORNIA TO THE GROUND WHILE THEY’RE BUSY DOING IT THEMSELVES!
@@flyingturret208thecannon5 Actually, I think steel wool actually CAN burn...
"The standard adventurer's pack doesn't come with anything to start a fire with!"
...But the explorers pack and dungeoneers pack both come with tinderboxes
Rudy Torres Thank you for mentioning that! I double checked myself after hearing that and sure enough you’re right:)
My issue was that they specifically said they had time to acquire other supplies so?
Even a religious pack has a tinderbox
Sal Sanchez also 50 ft of rope is a lot to burn to be fair
Also one of them is a lumberjack.
Lesson of the Story:
Lots of people want to be the center of attention, especially when it's abundantly clear they're not supposed to get special treatment.
yeah I'm one of those type of players still working on it. Not been kicke out yet.
And you always gotta have extra blankets
Snowflake, Seller Of Blankets
Sounds like a funny NPC idea
I mean the bard I play with is named Nu and he sells brooms.
The Tabaxi merchant with a gross overstock of survivalist supplies that -while completely mundane- Snowflake will attempt to sell off to unsuspecting adventurers. A potentially effective business strategy if not for the fact that ALL of the neighboring businesses warn passers-by about him. Of all of the items that are sold, the blankets are the least popular. For they are but thin sheets catered to a desert climate, being sold on a frozen mountainside.
ZEPHIS the Clapsapian
“Tabaxi has wares, if you have coin...”
I'm imagining the shopkeeper from Frozen, but waaay more annoying.
I'm imagining the Cabbages guy from TLA
"MY BLANKETS!!!!"
It's always nice to see a DM put his foot down in such matters.
As for the guy playing a _merchant_ going "I clearly know best how to survive in the wild" with a _hunter & a lumberjack_ in his group... gotta love how them divas must always be the best at someone elses role
Itai Sprachman “I too, can see into the future, but better than Kyle,”
Snowflake: "I clearly know best how to survive in the wild!"
Also Snowflake: Brings firewood with him into a FOREST
@@Revelwoodie that specifically might not be that stupid tbh
Maybe the forest is damp as heck
i don't think Snowflake knows what a merchant is.
I SPEND LOTS OF TIME OUT SIDE
the hunter and lumberjack: am I a joke to you?
“A merchant is like a homesteader, right? You know, somebody who spends a lot of time outside? And they collect a lot of supplies to share out to their friends, right? Oh, oh, and don’t they all have exotic pets and come from the desert?”
I’m guessing they tried to use merchant as a reason for an exotic pet and tried to wing the rest.
You could possibly justify a caravanireing merchant, but even then he would probably have other people in charge of actual survival, while sitting in his wagon twiddling his thumbs.
"In case you've been living under a rock..."
Bruh I don't think I could escape Raid ads even if I lived six miles under the surface of Mars.
doomslayer: (killing demons)
pain elemental: this slaughter brought to you by raid shadow legends
doomslayer: (RIP AND TEAR INTENSIFIES)
Cult mechanicum of mars doing a ceremony to initiate a new tank off the line and appease its machine spirit *this worship is sponsored by Raid:Shadow legends*
"Hello everyone! Critcra-"
"INTRODUCING RAID: SHADOW LEGENDS."
Why is just about everyone doing sponsored ads with them? It's a meme at this point. Is the Raid marketing team just that absurdly aggressive?
@@starslayer8390 not even a good game, can inedibly grindy
He, as long as the crabking gets payed, I'll watch an add about nearly anything.
I read this in Mista GG's voice
@@mennograafmans1595 Yeah, I'm not complaining. If they want to toss cash at anyone and everyone then I say let them.
*Inhales dramatically* AND THAT'S HOW THE STORY OF THE PARTY OF SKELETONS CAME TO FRUITION
A shame it's not Spooky Time anymore.
The Doot Party
WELCOME TO THE BONE ZONE BROTHER!!!!
at least he didnt show up as a 6 armed planetar from an alternate dimention with psyonic powers and a magical katana in each hand or something
gigaswardblade it sad those are more cookie cutter than they should be.
That's a pal of mine but he pulled it in Pathfinder over time.
The best is when they show up as a half Azamar/half Tiefling that makes their introduction by falling from the heavens like a meteor.
DM: Roll fall damage. Ok here is how far you splattered on the ground when you died and your new character sheet.
3 things.
(1) Considering how detailed a campaign can be. to the point to where a random stream could be deadly to drink from, and if you have an empty bottle from a used potion you can use that to collect some and then in a future encounter use it to kill the boss of the area. (no joke this happened in a D&D video I watched)
Then one should really reconsider having any kind of familiar or mount from a extreme weather environment. Bringing that animal to the other extreme would just kill it nearly instantly I would imagine.
(2) Being a traveling merchant would only entitle you to possibly:
an infinite bag of holding,
General knowledge of other towns,
(if you were the DM) awareness of any specific supplies you would need in a given area you’re about to adventure into,
and MAYBE some miscellaneous odds and ends that could be helpful in certain situations.
It does not mean you are entitled to consider yourself a Deus ex machina. That you have everything needed for every situation and everybody else has nothing, so they must rely on you to save them from everything.
(3) it was somebody’s birthday while they were having this ONE SHOT campaign. That plus it was being done on a time limit means that if anyone was going to get any kind of special treatment (if even slightly) it would be the birthday boy/girl. And the fact that Snowflake couldn’t seem to except this prospect, simply means he needs to grow the heck up a lot, and understand a simple aspect of a lot of role-playing games: “It’s not always about YOU.” Sometimes in games the “chosen one” is not the main character, not every story is going to end with you winning, and most importantly for Snowflake, not every scenario ends with the main character and allies surviving.
Last Raid sponsor ship "It was mildly fine while it lasted"
Too bad Snowflake didn't play up a Merchant salesman angle the game could have pretty fun with Snowflake trying to sell his wares to the party.
Oh man, imagine if he was a full on snake oil salesman trying to sell them fake medicine at every minor inconvenience... I think I have my next rogue.
Here's a tip, though you'll need 2 players to pull it off, have 2 characters: lore bard + rogue (either theif or schwashbuckler), make sure to have nice herbalism and something for arts and crafts. Roleplay as witchers. (The real life version not the videogame version) that shit's really nice specially with a group of 5 or 6 total.
@@thespanishinquisition4078 this is gonna be so much fun
I have considered the possibilities of doing a merchant character like American Pickers. High Chrisma trying to talk their way into the lairs of monsters to trade stuff the creature would like for valuables they consider junk. If all else fails you have some muscle with you for hostile negotiations.
I've been wanting to play a merchant cleric who charges the party for every healing spell used
Snowflake: I know best how to survive in the wild!
Hunter: Am I a joke to you?
For once, a story where the DM and players don’t just put up with the problem player’s nonsense. Sure they kept him around, but they refused to let him take control, which is very refreshing to see.
Thanks for sharing, CritCrab.
you can hear him actively die inside as he does the raid shadow legends sponsorship
I hope snowflake never DM’s... my heart breaks for anyone that would be unfortunate enough to play under someone like that...
I imagine he might be fond of airships...
“DON’T RUIN MY SCENE!!!!”
TheGuardDuck *shudders* the horror.
buT I spEnd A lOT of TIMe outSiDE
You can only play with yourself if no one ever shows up.
the best reactions for sure. I mean, when that guy cuts themselfs out of the story without knowing it, the best thing that happens without even trying. :D
Word part is that if he tries to join the next session, he'll probably try to play as one of the necromancers
@@jhuffman1138 that... that would just be the moment i would get up and leave. i do hope that dose not happen.
That Guy was trying to be a special snowflake so hard he may as well have gave himself a corn cob pipe, a button nose and two eyes made out of coal.
Happy Holidays
Oi! Can that "happy holidays" crap! It ain't even Thanksgiving!
...Unless you're not American, in which case, carry on.
@@MatthewSchooley94 Chill out, Frosty.
Bruh it's still November
Wait til December for the holiday festivities please
This chain reminds me of that one Goblin from Goblin Slayer Abridged
Underrated comment
When I see your name in the game you are playing in the back ground, I can only think about Doug Dimmadome, Owner of the Dimsdale Dimmadome
Doug
n
Dimmadome
But did he bring a towel?
Kerta out here with the real questions
No. He panicked.
The problem with snowflake's blankets is they are all wet and no one likes a wet blanket.
Mostly due to their meltdowns
"I start a campfire"
"you can't, you dont have any supplies"
"Do you have any supplies?"
"No"
"Then how did you light a torch"
"I have supplies"
"the adventurers pack doesnt have anything that can start a fire!"
Tinder box:"Am i a joke to you?"
He can't make a fire because he doesn't have the right supplies...
Not the right supplies... in the middle of a forest...
Ok then. :/
To be fair, live wood IS *incredibly* difficult to burn, since it has so much moisture in it, but it'd be nothing to say "you gather dry, downed limbs"
Snowflake: "I am well prepared with blankets and extra firewood because I know survival"
DM, if it was me: I am moving a skill points to "deception" from another skill of your choice each time you insist. You get one line of character backstory you can "reveal" (invent when convenient) each time, but if it doesn't have a deception theme I am erasing and ignoring TWO lines of character background story. And once you get in negatives because I know you, I write it for you!
My idea was, after an hour of play time -
"So... you have blankets for everyone?" "Yes!"
"Torches..." "Enough for all of us!"
"Tents?" "One, big enough for... "
"All of you, of course. Iron rations, rope, crampons, food for your exotic beast - can't eat local rabbits, I presume, spare weapons, basic alchemy kit, basic med kits for every..."
"Yeah, I've covered it all!"
"Splendid. Considering that there are no nylon tents in fantasy land, you've just walked across a pathless forest for two hours with 110 pounds of luggage. The ticked-off mama werebear in front of you all will go for the slowest guy. Which is you. You are completely exhausted and in no shape to fight.
Amazingly, you're still able to climb the next tree if you shed enough weight. You now have five seconds to name five items that you take with you. Your pants are an item. Mama bear will destroy everything else. "
"My exotic animal ..."
"Ooh, you didn't mention that it was trained, did you? Bummers. Two seconds."
Snowflake’s gonna melt from all those blankets
1:34 your welcome
Thank you
You mad lad thank you
@@8wing73 all in a days work
Thanks, but “you’re*”
These Raid commercials keep insulting me. No, I don’t live under a rock, and no, I haven’t heard any buzz about your crummy game.
PS edit: I like your channel and don’t feel like the commercial reflects poorly on you. Keep doing what you’re doing Mr. Crab man 🦀
Same
Imagine having one of your selling points being
'You dont have to play the game with auto battle'
When you say the story has twists, i know its gonna be good :3
:D
*pleased crab noises*
If I were DMing that one and someone wanted to argue with me about why they can’t have a desert beast in the tundra, I would’ve kicked them then and there tbh. But also I only DM for people I figure (and I’ve been right thus far) can be reasonable.
If someone has a specific area that they can't survive in or a certain animal I give them a detriment.
You want a snake in a snow biome? You better be able to keep it warm or else it will begin taking exhaustion and eventually expire. :]
I like a more realistic touch to my campaigns so I add more realism to animal companions and their ability to survive. It also gives a little more attention to pets/companions for people who like that stuff.
dude bro fair. I’m just saying my issue is if we have an understanding of the setting and expectation (“you are all from a cold forest village”) and the player just says “screw that I’m an exotic trader from the desert and this is my giant viper!” then clearly they don’t know how play the game they’ve agreed to play and need to... well... not play.
Also it’s just a bad idea to argue with me as a DM in general. Ask a question, discuss something, confirm that this is a permanent override of an in book rule? Sure. I keep audio notes for a reason and set precedents for future events anyway. Argue? Get your ass up and leave my table. I work retail and deal with, tolerate, and submit to assholes ALLLLLL DAYYYYY at work everyday. I’m not doing that during what is, my recreational time.
@@anoneamose4866 yeah if someone is aggressively trying to fight against the rules then I'll boot em. Otherwise I just let em suffer cause they put themselves in that position. I usually make my world more on the realism side of things so if you wanna be a desert merchant with a viper in a place with a snowy mountain/tundra then you only have yourself to blame if your "oh so cool viper" dies in the snow in the beginning of the campaign.
Ironically enough, Antarctica is technically considered a desert...
lh0000 true. But a cold snowy forest is not Antartica
1:35 Just to skip the advertisement and get to the story
Lies! I got two back to back unskippable ads! ;_;
I SWEAR TO GOD IF I SEE ONE MORE RAID AD
Same, and it's a shitty game.
I had a nightmare once where I was fixing my daughter breakfast. I made a spectacular omelette with ham, cheese, sweet peppers and green onion. We sit down to partake of the food and I asked her if I could get her a drink. She said, "no, but you can take a moment to hear about Raid Shadow Legends - a sick turn based RTS strategy game with 15,000,000 downloads just today! "
John Jaeger sounds like a terrible nightmare
The pompous self involved overprepared merchant would actually be a fun character to play if you did so well.
*RAID IS EVERYWHERE NOW PEOPLE WHO HAVENT PLAYED IT YET OR REFUSE TO PLAY IT ARE IN DANGER RUN RUN KEEP RUNNING IT WONT STOP SOMEBODY HELP RAID IS TAKING OVER*
After the many, many stories you narrated that have came forth beyond this point. This one still my favorite.
"Raid is one of the most talked about mobile games ever." *Laughs in Fate Grand Order, Azur Lane, and Fire Emblem Heroes*
No, seriously, Raid is one of the lowest rated gacha games out there.
When Raid just started, I tried it. The MOST boring pay to win game ever!!
raid is one of the most talked about mobile games ever in the same way that rudy giuliani is one of the most talked about lawyers ever
@@Pablo360able At least Giulani actually did some public service before he became a meme.
Oh dammit, I was just starting to remember everything I knew about mobile games. Oh well...
I have only one serious, absolutely relevant question for this particular story: WHAT OLD SCHOOL D&D GAME IS THAT!?!?
I LOVE Retro Scrollers, and have played most of the memorable fantasy genre ones, but that game looks freaking sweet!!
"and the dm gave in because he didn't want to waste any more time arguing"
ooof.... been there, done that, never ends well....
It's a shame too.
a traveling merchant COULD be played well
COULD
but wasnt
Alright folks, you know the drill.
1:34
Offscreen, the merchant probably got eaten alive by his beast since it decided it needed food to survive the cold.
Always here for the new CritCrab upload
I'm just imagining him pulling out one of those handkerchief chains but with blankets
Nothing I love more than a video game that plays itself. It can buy it's own scummy microtransactions while it's at it.
I used to be an adventurer like you, until I tool a blanket to the knee.
Player: What do I have to roll to strangle Snowflake with his own blanket?
1:36 anything before that is ad but yay he is sponsored
Congrats, he played himself
Snowflake: I'm super well prepared and a complete PC mcguffin.
DM: *kills him next fight*
Snowflake: No. I'd be prepared for that.
DM: Tough shit.
*Dolphin noises*
*dolphin noises*
*floating garbage noises*
Quiet rattle of skeletons noises
*sigh* someone get a druid
He did HAVE MANY MANY BLANKETS!! He mentioned the blankets!!!
The chris-chan impression used for snowflake is absolutely perfect.
I played a D&D game where we actually turned a dragon to the good side. A player, a "chaotic neutral" rough goblin names Rocks, blew him up anyways. He also killed all the prisoners we freed.
Damn, that was a great story.
Snowflake: "I hAvE sUpPlIeS!! I aM sUpErIoR!!"
Everyone else: "Alright, nerd." *punches implied*
About the sum of it, eh? :P
best way to spend quarantine. play destiny 2 while binge listen to crit crab vids.
shoutout to the dm for not being a doormat honestly. so many of these stories end up like that
Congratulations, He played himself
It’s the most talked about because every other RUclipsr has been sponsored by them!
Crab: This video is possible thanks to today's sponsor..
Me: please no please no plea-
Crab: RAID SHADOW LEGENDS, MY FAVOURITE GAME TO PLAY. WHETHER IT BE ON THE ROAD OR ON THE CAN, WITH HUNDREDS OF CHARACTERS AND THOUSANDS OF CUSTOMIZATIONS, RAID SHADOW LEGENDS IS BY FAR THE BEST RPG
"most talked about...." under a contract, yeah
God i'm so happy you found new sponsors....
what upsets me most about this video is that the Fighter fighting the Manticore has a shield but doesn't use it to block the spikes -.-
Especially because the skeletons are using shields properly. Honestly, old video game designs were strange.
If you don’t have any supplies for fire... MAKE A SURVIVAL CHECK TO LOOK FOR SUPPLIES.
It's not like a hunter would even *need* "supplies" in order to make a campfire. That's a Survival check, at worst.
1:38 to skip the Raid ad
Exotic Desert Beast in cold area? How did DM didn’t said “And your pet is dead due to cold climate”?
Recently, I got into a very toxic conflict on RPGHorrorstories. I gave a differing viewpoint on a story and got jumped at by several snowflakes despite saying I was neutral on both sides. This isn't the story by the way, but the community on there is very toxic and it sucks because I had several stories I wanted to tell, but I don't want to with a community like that now.
Literally hoisted on his own petard.
eh, allow him his desser pet, but it need to carry all the blankets because of the cold it is not used to, and it makes it so cumberson that it will not be able to do anything than being a pet covered in blankets, problem solved :)
SILENCE BRAND!
I had two players like this, kept looking up rules from books and monster stats. I told them from the get go i use home brew stat blocks and have my own home brew rules for spells (combat/high stress causes spell failure, use concentration instead of percentile etc).
One of those players also told me encounters didn't matter or shouldn't and only boss fights should cause PC death, what the hell. My campaign theme is grim dark, you are going to die probably (unless you are smart or savvy).
It's like wow, just throw my whole campaign idea in the damn toilet. They all knew what they were playing, it's like they forgot every weekend, the session 0 had to be done every session.
That end screen made me want to be a patron.
basic adventurer pack does have supplies to start a fire.....
The DMs plan was really really stupid. Railroading the pcs into a TPK is always the wrong choice.
If I was the DM I would've had a meteorite crash down from the heavens and crush Snowflake's merchant cart. And I'd make specific point to mention that all his blankets burnt up.
It took this video to realize that it’s not spelled “pre-Madonna”
Prima donna, literally "leading lady" - i.e., a star actress. The term comes from Italian opera.
1:36 is when the ad ends
being a merchant to be the "most important": smol brain energy
being a merchant to sell stupid shit like bronze swords with googly eyes attached that "only speak to true heros" as a selling point: fun, probably still small brained but fun
alright another story from crit crab! this one was awesomely fun :P hehe that character was dubbed snowflake. And he's drowning in blankets.
That was the most perfect way to get rid of a player like that
You know you made it on youtube when Raid ask you to make ad for them
You know you made it on Patreon when you can tell the sponsors to shut up
"All these blankets saved my life"
-Dewey Cox
This is about the fifth one of your videos that has come through on the algorithm. Considering I'm probably clicking on another one or two of your videos after this one I guess I gotta subscribe now. Keep up the good work.
😂
Merchant doesn’t know what he dose.
If your ads are that long then you need longer videos. Maybe 2 stories? 1 before then after the ad?
Just... Skip it...
If one of the highlights of your mobile game is "hey look, you can do something else instead of playing!", theres a problem with your mobile game.
I'm going to call BS on the RAID friend finder thing. I'm playing the game with a friend while talking on messenger, we are both on the same exact server and yet cannot locate either one.
Been excited for this one!
A part of me hoped that the exotic beast would drag his wounded body off and either get extremely hungry or get a taste for blood and eat him. That would have been a nice little F U for Snowflake.
Looking at the game in the background. Hm yes my favorite class, dwarf