you've gotten older (the finale)

Поделиться
HTML-код
  • Опубликовано: 25 авг 2024
  • welcome to the end of the trilogy no one knew i was making. it's my birthday so you have to say something nice
    you're getting older (2014) - • you're getting older
    you're still getting older (2019) - • you're (still) getting...

Комментарии • 325

  • @93Runt
    @93Runt 5 месяцев назад +54

    Turning 30 was the best thing I've done for myself

  • @graceartworks
    @graceartworks 5 месяцев назад +301

    "Life begins at thirty... and it's not that I don't believe that... it's that I am scared. Of every single possibility." THIS. THIS exact thing. Aging is so, so scary when you get to the age range where you're supposed to have "established yourself", but you find yourself STILL flailing wildly and feeling like you know absolutely nothing about the world.

  • @mdsn729
    @mdsn729 5 месяцев назад +58

    The way you stopped yourself from turning your pain into a joke for other people to laugh at and instead let yourself keep & feel that special (but difficult) moment was kind of eye-opening for me to hear about. When we do that sort of thing enough, I think we can wind up having abandoning our true feelings by default which is so hard to fix. Anyway, I’ve been watching your videos for like 4 years now and it makes me really happy to see you be nicer to yourself; you deserve it! You’re gorgeous! You’re hilarious! You’re intelligent! You’re so creative! and You’re 30!!! & isn’t that just another beautiful thing to tack on the long list of beautiful things about you? Happy birthday, Nisa!

  • @oneeyedbeast
    @oneeyedbeast 5 месяцев назад +187

    You talking about your mom aging speaks so deeply to me. I’m 24, but my mother was much older than typical mothers (she was 40 when she had me). I see her aging, I see her wrinkles getting deeper and it’s so terrifying, it feels so good to hear someone else talk about it. I love your videos so much

    • @donatagavenaite3364
      @donatagavenaite3364 5 месяцев назад +7

      feeling the same 🤍

    • @anafrison6995
      @anafrison6995 5 месяцев назад +12

      me too, my mom had me at 37 and she's almost 60 now and it absolutely scares me

  • @mullujullu
    @mullujullu 5 месяцев назад +144

    you look like the quirky main character in a early-mid 2000s romcom or coming of age movie and im living for it

  • @fanfarefair12
    @fanfarefair12 5 месяцев назад +26

    My dad passed away when I was 2. He was 29. I'll be turning 30 in June. And it's been really heavy on my mind that I'm about to reach an age he never got to be.
    My heart used to ache for my mom, for her loss. Or even for me, for not having a dad. But now, it aches for him. To know he didn't get to see his daughter grow up. He didn't get to keep living life.
    Anyway, all of that is to say I'm with you, I feel you, and thanks for being so open. Love you lots 💙

  • @orladdin
    @orladdin 5 месяцев назад +12

    When I turned 10 I had an existential crisis about never being single digits again. I turn 26 next week and one of my friends is terminally ill. I guess I thought that I would have learned to drive and finished my undergrad and figured out the best way to clean a bathroom before becoming a respite carer and planning a funeral for somebody who is still alive. 26 is not a big deal age but the fine line on my forehead is a reminder of everything I still don't know and everyone I'm going to lose.
    While some of our feelings about aging are wrapped up in internalised misogyny and ageism, others are just existential, and I don't think talking about them negates the positive message you're trying to send about the opportunity that comes with age. Being sincere feels icky but I'm grateful you made this video and created a safe place for your viewers to confront the thoughts that we usually just push away.

  • @blazinfire4129
    @blazinfire4129 5 месяцев назад +83

    Thirty, flirty, dirty, you know whats bout to go down (jam sandwiches)

  • @Curaious
    @Curaious 5 месяцев назад +98

    Happy Birthday!! I’ll be 33 this year (single, young professional, no kids) and I’m totally having way more fun in my 30s, but I remember having anxiety about turning 30. Like it was the beginning of the end, but really it’s been the beginning of the rest. I’m personally [generally] loving it.

  • @lyndseytune6716
    @lyndseytune6716 5 месяцев назад +73

    When you got emotional talking about having children I totally felt that and want to hug you. I have PCOS, but on top of that I’m 26 and have never even /been/ with anyone or have even ever been in a relationship. I so desperately want to be a mother but I just feel like my clock is ticking. I’m watching people my age having their seconds and thirds and I don’t even know if I’ll have my first. It’s hard.

    • @simashakeri95
      @simashakeri95 5 месяцев назад +11

      i'm also on the pcos never been with someone train and i'm 29 and i don't even know if i want kids but i hate knowing that if i DO it's a rapidly closing window :( solidarity

    • @lyndseytune6716
      @lyndseytune6716 5 месяцев назад +5

      @@simashakeri95 yes! Heavy on that not knowing but scared of the window closing part! Sending you my love!

    • @Queenofcats36
      @Queenofcats36 5 месяцев назад +5

      I send love and hugs to all of you. I had that, too. I'm 37 next month, and I have been through a hysterectomy. But it isn't over for you. You can still have kids, even when you get older, hope is not lost.

    • @lyndseytune6716
      @lyndseytune6716 4 месяца назад +2

      @@Queenofcats36 I am so sorry that it has taken me just short of 2 weeks to respond to this but thank you so much for this response. It’s a comfort and I’m sending you the biggest hug back

  • @Curaious
    @Curaious 5 месяцев назад +95

    Thank you for being so vulnerable. Speaking about your infertility made me so emotional. You absolutely are amazing and beautiful.

  • @isabellavendel8838
    @isabellavendel8838 5 месяцев назад +39

    I can in part relate to the dad part, my dad died when I was 20, but I hadn't talked to him since I was 16 and cut contact. He was a horrible, horrible person, an abusive, violent alcoholic with any bad opinion you could ever think of (racist, homophobic, sexist). But I miss the potential of having a dad. I miss what could have been. I keep telling myself he could have changed, he could have grown, but it's all gone now. Part of me is sad that I lost that potential, even though he treated me horribly

    • @orladdin
      @orladdin 5 месяцев назад +3

      I am in a similar situation with my dad, though he is still alive as far as I know. I have spent so much of my life wishing for a relationship with him and worrying that he will die without us ever having that. I am really sorry you have experienced this kind of loss too, it is so conflicting and painful.

  • @human_no847
    @human_no847 5 месяцев назад +6

    I'm in my mid 40s. The older you get, your health declines, possibilities lessen, doors close, responsibilities change (in my case, no children but elderly parents who need help). 30 doesn't mean shit. Hardly anything changes from your 20s to your 30s.

  • @KristinaMarie96
    @KristinaMarie96 5 месяцев назад +54

    Just to ruin everyone's day: on your birthday you finish the year you turn. At one your finished your first year.
    I related to too many of these thoughts. Happy birthday Nisa.

  • @pickle_pearl
    @pickle_pearl 5 месяцев назад +363

    thank u for making this. im turning 25 at the end of april and im shitting bricks sitting here unemployed without a license
    edit- also happy birthday, you are wonderful

    • @VampireLady
      @VampireLady 5 месяцев назад +6

      Omfg are you me? I'm literally in the same boat

    • @pickle_pearl
      @pickle_pearl 5 месяцев назад +6

      @@middsummer lol it never said 45 i just added in the happy birthday edit pt 2- i may be unable to drive but i refuse to be 45

    • @mimis2082
      @mimis2082 5 месяцев назад +10

      Oh god same. Im 24 and I am still struggling on getting my driver's license. Luckily my job isn't too far from my home but I feel that driving had prevented me from exploring to new places

    • @middsummer
      @middsummer 5 месяцев назад +1

      @@pickle_pearl oop sorry must have misread it then

    • @annadalen7114
      @annadalen7114 5 месяцев назад +2

      We are the same person 😭 25 in April and have no license or job. We got this tho

  • @SheepasaurusRex
    @SheepasaurusRex 5 месяцев назад +44

    didn't expect to get deeply emotional today, but thank you for letting me cry for the first time in a while! the 10th anniversary of my dad's passing is coming up real quick and it does break my heart that he's never gonna meet his only grandchild. the passage of time and both future AND missed opportunities are both super terrifying

  • @alisonneumann6872
    @alisonneumann6872 5 месяцев назад +33

    I'm about to turn 30 too! I had a hysterectomy 3 years ago due to endometriosis. The docs predicted I was already infertile because of the endometriosis anyways so it was whatever but I feel this so much honestly. I don't regret getting a hysterectomy but I still think about the possibilities sometimes.

  • @wwirelesswwizard
    @wwirelesswwizard 5 месяцев назад +14

    I recently turned 32 and I've gotta say... being in my thirties really doesn't seem all that different so far. I'm a little wiser and more mature, but overall, it's just the continuation of my life. It's like when you experience a really weird & eventful work week, and then you come back into work the next Monday and everything's normal but like? Also weirdly chill? When you start to think about it too much, it feels faintly surreal, but then you start pushing papers or w/e again, and you forget about it. Business as usual.

  • @dallasurr
    @dallasurr 5 месяцев назад +59

    HAPPY BIRTHDAY NISA!!! As a long time follower you only get better with age.

    • @dallasurr
      @dallasurr 5 месяцев назад +6

      As a transgender man around your age who afaik could probably have bio kids (with the caveats that i'd have to find a amab partner and deal with the whole year+ of horrors and potential for medical abuse or trauma at the hands of strangers as well as parental transphobia for my kid's whole life and the fear that the government will make it ok to take my kids away from me because i'm trans like they're trying to do in my home state of florida) it really is tough to be in that tough spot of "kids are probably not going to be in my future but i'd be open to the option if it presented itself in a way that i could fit it into my life"
      I didn't want kids as a teenager until I met someone in my early 20s worth having kids with, and now that things are over between us i'm back to being grateful I don't have any kids but I still worry for a future partner who does want them because in all honesty I think I'd be a decent parent but I wish it didn't come with all of those caveats. It makes dating hard because you feel stuck in a way that a lot of people seem settled in.
      I wanna reach through the screen and hug you girl, I feel the pain of wanting your parent to know you as an adult. My grandma raised me alone and she died when I was 20 and it is really tough that I never got to know her as an adult myself, and that she doesn't get to know me as an adult or me as a man at all. It's a weird feeling a lot of people never experience and it can feel isolating, but you're not alone

  • @EeeeVeee231
    @EeeeVeee231 5 месяцев назад +29

    i'm 31, and idk this video was so beautiful ty

  • @leof20202
    @leof20202 5 месяцев назад +10

    listen, i’m only 19 but i’ve been watching your videos since at least the pandemic and this was just so nice to hear. i’ve been feeling so lost lately, and i’ve been having a lot of abdominal pain that inhibits me so much that working once a week for 5 hours is genuinely a struggle. it’s been months and i’ve been to so many appointments and the lack of answers (or pain medication??) is so frustrating. i’m so privileged to have a home to live at with my parents, but i haven’t even started college or anything and i’m turning 20 this year. guess i’m gonna learn to crochet?

  • @arianathough2070
    @arianathough2070 5 месяцев назад +10

    To me it makes sense that a lot of people's identities are tied to the 20s' decade because like...that's the decade that your brain fully matures, you become a legit "adult." So of course we attach a lot of meaning about ourselves to that time frame I think.

  • @marshall9003
    @marshall9003 5 месяцев назад +72

    Nisas honesty about aging and maturing is genuinely really comforting as a fetus (teenager just out of high school) thank you and happy birthday girl 🩵

  • @simashakeri95
    @simashakeri95 5 месяцев назад +14

    nisa this video is so relatable. i turned 29 in january and i've been stressing about this being the last year of my 20s, feeling like the pandemic stole half of them from me, feeling directionless and behind and so many other things you talked about in this video. that fear of possibility, of finding someone, etc. it's nice to know that other people feel like this and that we still manage to exist and push forward. i'm terrified of death, my own and the people around me, and it is one of those things i need to not think about lest i work myself into a panic because like you said, it's inevitable. finally learned how to drive this year after being bullied by my parents and well it IS scary honestly i do not recommend it, it stresses me out so much. all this to say, most importantly, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!! thank you for being such a funny and relatable presence over the years.

  • @SupersushiBlues
    @SupersushiBlues 5 месяцев назад +19

    thank you for this video! This got to be one of my favorites of yours--I laughed, I cried, I laughed again and also reflected on my own seemingly never-ending coming of age. As Smash Mouth said, "The years start coming and they don't stop coming"

  • @MamotteLollpop123
    @MamotteLollpop123 5 месяцев назад +12

    You put into words how I felt about losing my grandfather. He passed when I was 17, and he never got to know me as an adult. I think about him all the time, and the fact that he missed out on so many milestones for me, hurts me more than words can express. I hope he’s somewhere peaceful, watching over me till I see him again. 😢❤

    • @stickitydoodah
      @stickitydoodah 5 месяцев назад +3

      This but he died when I was 13. Almost exactly 10 yrs ago.
      I wrote some stuff for him last week and I know that if he knew me today he would think I'm cool as fuck. His Facebook is still up and I cried a lot when I looked through it awhile ago.

    • @MamotteLollpop123
      @MamotteLollpop123 5 месяцев назад

      @@stickitydoodah 🥺 **hugs** I still have old text messages from him. They hurt to read. He was always sending me corny jokes. ❤️‍🩹💔

  • @soap-nb6yd
    @soap-nb6yd 5 месяцев назад +5

    listening to u talk about when u used to teach middle school as a CURRENT middle school teacher (aide to be fair) is so validating... ur so right.....this shit is the trenches

    • @soap-nb6yd
      @soap-nb6yd 5 месяцев назад +4

      will never forget when a student said to me "if youre not a teenager then why do you have acne" and then did a cartwheel indoors

  • @giovanadantas9517
    @giovanadantas9517 5 месяцев назад +13

    happy birthday! i cried w you during the video bc im turning 20 soon and aging is. Well. youre one of my favorite creators thank you for being you!!!

  • @dobetterwithchristian4472
    @dobetterwithchristian4472 5 месяцев назад +3

    I turned 30 the day Trump was elected. It was a dark time in a lot of other ways too. I was single, living with my parents, and generally felt aimless. Then a friend invited me to a business seminar. I had zero interest in starting a business, but I went to support her. I started a business 6 months later, and a few months later old friend slid in my dm's after seeing my ads on Facebook. Turned out that guy was my person and we've been married 5 years and have a toddler. And even with all the great things I still have a ton of fear and anxiety around life and what aging means for me and the people I love. Living life in the age of the internet is weird and there's ups and downs and it's hard and I feel you. ❤

  • @isabellamorris7902
    @isabellamorris7902 5 месяцев назад +2

    I'm 25 for two more months and have two conflicting strains of thought in my brain:
    - Woah, it's really disturbing to see so many very young people so distressed about aging, including people who aren't even 20 yet. I want to keep in mind that life is only getting better and resist the pressure that tells me that being in my 20s needs to be the best years of my life.
    - I need to suffer now, so that I can have everyone else's ideal body and not waste my only years of being young enough to be desirable but still of consenting age.
    Even into my 30s and beyond, I want to stay in a position where I can do the things that I want to, whenever I want to. Even if I decide I want to do something completely different job-wise, or have a room filled with pink and plushies. It's all totally Allowed

  • @tangyjenna
    @tangyjenna 5 месяцев назад +12

    this video fully made me cry, thank you for being so honest and genuine.

  • @judydo_om
    @judydo_om 5 месяцев назад +8

    happy birthday! I just wanted to say that I feel you on the being terrified of losing your mother. When I was a kid, every birthday i would basically have an existential crisis. I would be freaking out that I wasn't ready to be 5 or 6 or whatever age I was turning, mostly because I was scared that I was growing up and that my parents were aging and I was one step closer to living in a world where they were dead and I was alone. I was a dour little kid when I felt like it. What I wanted to tell you, as someone who has been dreading my mom's death for most of my life, is that that fear doesn't go away, but I know now that the time I have with her will prepare me for the time when I don't. I can't control when that happens, but I can control how deeply I appreciate what I have right now.

  • @erinc9391
    @erinc9391 5 месяцев назад +6

    Pausing to comment that my very child free sister decided at 37 she suddenly actually did want children. She had regrets and sadness. She was able to conceive and have a child but she didn't even Consider it until 37!! You're so young. I'm 34 with a 12 year old. Only 1 child. I was young and poor and couldn't afford another. Anyway, it's normal to feel this. You're still so young! It's normal tp have these feelings and you're not alone!

  • @malloryr4883
    @malloryr4883 5 месяцев назад +4

    I'm 36. My 20's were utter shit- my dad died, i was just the most broke, i was working a lot and got a masters but I hadn't really seen any payoff from it yet. 30 is the start of freedom and you are aging perfectly. You will be just fine. i promise you. It only gets better from 29.

  • @Zyxie_Zyxie_Zyxie
    @Zyxie_Zyxie_Zyxie 5 месяцев назад +6

    I turned 20 last November and I spent the entire day with Ribs by Lorde stuck in my head as I tried really hard to have fun at a club and even now I can’t listen to that song without tearing up….Miss Ella Marija Lani Yelich-O’Connor really did her big one on that

    • @tiffablue
      @tiffablue 5 месяцев назад +2

      GOD your comment made me realize Ribs came out when I was 18 and now I’m almost 30. I hope you remember to listen to it in ten years to feel how it feels on the other side of your 20s bc WHEW it’s worth it

  • @Samisnotavailable
    @Samisnotavailable 5 месяцев назад +4

    Hbd Nisa!! The micellar water bit took me out 😭
    When i see people freaking out that they "look old" and the whole anti-aging thing that has a hold on society i think like, getting older is a privilege. Its also frustrating how society tells us we have to "do" something with our lives. Like no we dont actually?? Ive spent a lot of time mourning what i cant do and what i couldnt prev because illness etc. i dont have anything ground breaking to say unfortunately. you can only do what you can and thats not lesser.
    But this was such a real video thanks for sharing. im always interested in what other people's opinions are on getting older!

  • @aimeegoudreau-cote2648
    @aimeegoudreau-cote2648 5 месяцев назад +5

    Turning 33 this year and I can say I much more enjoy my 30’s than my 20’s. It’s like the storm is finally over and I can now enjoy the sunshine ☀️ Happy birthday cutie 🎉

  • @danielasalazar-et4kz
    @danielasalazar-et4kz 4 месяца назад +1

    I love this looking back mentality, i’m turning 25 in june and feel like i’m so behind with my career n personal life in comparison to others while also being so young. still trying to figure out my feelings but i’m glad to see other people’s journeys in accepting that we age lmao

  • @esme_melody
    @esme_melody 5 месяцев назад +4

    “😃☝a proclivity towards…. cake😅😏” lmfao how are you so good at that..millennial powers
    love u nisa sending hugs & all good things happy birthday

  • @ana219ana
    @ana219ana 3 месяца назад +1

    girl i am drunk out of my mind and I had to come here again for like the 10th time because this video is just so comforting to me. growing up is so scary and I feel like such a failure all the time. Like everything I want is out of reach just enough, just a tad more than what I can reach for. I admire who u are as a person so much, and seeing u describe what im going through takes so,e of the bad feelings away. Idk if u know the impact u have on ppl but it’s huge. For as long as u make videos pls know they are just so amazing, the humor and the comfort is amazing and rlly we are all just going thourgj the same shit tytyty

    • @alicemarks7468
      @alicemarks7468 Месяц назад +1

      me being drunk as fuck reading this like YESSSS

  • @misstee793
    @misstee793 5 месяцев назад +5

    thank you for your videos nisi, this one made me cry but they all make me laugh. I turned 30 last year and the number changing never bothered me but I deeply relate to your fear of life aging around you and losing the ones you love. I also was supposed to marry my partner of 12 years last spring and he dumped me 3 months before the wedding, when I had always joked that we needed to get married before I was 30 and an old maid/before our friends who hadn't been together as long. Somehow I've had one of the happiest years of my life coming off that, so believe that life can absolutely surprise you and I am sure that someone as amazing as yourself will thrive and love and continue to spread laughter 💖

  • @duygupolat1901
    @duygupolat1901 5 месяцев назад +3

    I just wanted to listen to you goofing around while preparing breakfast and then you made me cry so much I almost burned my omelette. Happy birthday! Thanks for reminding me. I'll call my mom ❤

  • @pensivesoprano1637
    @pensivesoprano1637 5 месяцев назад +2

    It's not cringe to have genuine, vulnerable emotions. It's okay ❤❤

  • @renl9893
    @renl9893 5 месяцев назад +4

    Nisaaaa my pisces bretheren i really needed this. I turned 26 less than a month ago and ive been spiralling ever since. Not to get into too much detail but ive had a drug problem for a while and it got worse recently and its been dangerous for me but i didnt want to stop. But today my therapist convinced me to go to my first NA meeting. Im really scared for the future. At least for me, getting older is scary. The passage of time freaks me out. But also life can be beautiful and wonderful. Thank u sm for all ur vids you are such a wonderful distraction when lifes not so beautiful and wonderful. Speaking of which ill be rewatching all ur vids while withdrawing lol.

  • @nghosh91
    @nghosh91 4 месяца назад +1

    Happy belated birthday Nisa! I have the same comment you had to your 19-year-old self. Once you get over the initial shock of turning 30, it's the most whatever year. Literally nothing changed from 29 to 30. I'm 32 and nothing changed from 29. I'm divorced, single, with no kids, and having the best time of my life. You'll be ok and it's not as scary as it seems. I hope you had a wonderful birthday.

  • @treacherous-doctor
    @treacherous-doctor 5 месяцев назад +2

    Happy birthday, Nisa!! I turn 20 this year, and it's terrifying to think about. It's so nice to hear someone talk about aging with such honesty. Thank you so much

  • @kenzietaylor2915
    @kenzietaylor2915 5 месяцев назад +4

    HAPPY BIRTHDAY!! This was very comforting, I’m in my early twenties right now and your vulnerability is very appreciated.

  • @smam5548
    @smam5548 5 месяцев назад +6

    HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!! I appreciate your sense of humor and way of looking at things. Thank you for your content and for blessing us with it!

  • @tomfondly5266
    @tomfondly5266 5 месяцев назад +3

    I wish I knew my dad as a mellow adult instead of just a bratty kid and angsty teenager.

  • @moogie2052
    @moogie2052 5 месяцев назад +6

    Happy birthday, Nisa!
    Just started watching this video, when I realized the first video of yours i ever watched was your 2017 anti haul when i was 17, so this video made me realize im now the age you were (23) when I first started watching your channel so i hope the video's message about getting older helps me get through that realization

  • @marciamarciamarcia3117
    @marciamarciamarcia3117 5 месяцев назад +1

    I’m turning 40 this year. This video was sweet and endearing. I hate to report that the existential dread doesn’t get any easier. And no matter what path your life takes, there will always be areas where you feel unfulfilled. I think that might be the human condition. Or maybe I’m wrong and it’s just me.

  • @alimag515
    @alimag515 3 месяца назад

    I’ve been watching you since I was around 15 and turning 19 in less than a month. You’ve been an older sister to me in a way :) Thank you for your videos

  • @Kaitlyn-ov4qb
    @Kaitlyn-ov4qb 5 месяцев назад +3

    Thank you for your raw honesty and vulnerability in this video. So many things that you said hit me deeply. You are amazing and such a beautiful person.

  • @morgan8838
    @morgan8838 5 месяцев назад +4

    nisa i am sitting in the middle of the dallas fort worth airport sobbing

  • @Ruby-pi4jm
    @Ruby-pi4jm Месяц назад

    This was an amazing watch. The realism, the rawness and the care you showed yourself. I've just turned 20 and im wondering whaf sort of adult I'll become

  • @zoofway
    @zoofway 4 месяца назад +1

    girl you had me crying my whole way through this video. I'm a 26 y/o trans woman and I've always wanted a very cookie cutter life. the kind of life that most people find easily accessible. and damn i want to have kids so bad!! not having a uterus when you want to have kids is the worst! i've been broken up with for my inability to have kids and it pretty much just validated all of my fears and insecurities, it was a disaster. my dad also passed away and i totally understand what you mean when you say you wish he could meet the person you are now. you are such an inspiration and are THE comedy youtuber. i'm very excited to see how you thrive in your thirties.

  • @rosecolorednic
    @rosecolorednic 5 месяцев назад +3

    happy birthday to the only best and only pisces to exist ever 😝🎉

  • @jildou1411
    @jildou1411 5 месяцев назад +1

    Nisa I am touched by your emotional transparency in this video. The parasocial relationship really be parasocialling...! Happy birthday girl 🎉🥺

  • @pinkTonya24
    @pinkTonya24 5 месяцев назад +4

    Your hair is beautiful in whatever state ! I love curly hair ! And happy early birthday! I'll be 39 in May and I feel pretty great !

    • @MamotteLollpop123
      @MamotteLollpop123 5 месяцев назад

      Is that you in your pfp because you look lovely 💕

  • @katieb3172
    @katieb3172 5 месяцев назад +1

    Parasocial internet hug. I’m much closer to 20 year old beret-wearing dorm Nisa than 30 year old radiant Graduate Degree (!!) Nisa. I totally get the fear more of your life aging and other people aging rather than “you” aging. It broke my heart to hear you talk about your dad. You are putting so much good into the world just by sharing who you are and your own life and experiences with other young women who are also trying to figure out this infinitely unknowable universe.

  • @thebordemz
    @thebordemz 5 месяцев назад +1

    I turned 30 in January. Only months before was unemployed, low on money from a failed move attempt, and feeling romantically really alone. My friend turns 30 in about two months. We are feeling so many of the same things you are right now. I would say my emotions have gone from a frenzy of internal fear and self-loathing to a general apathy. So although I'm not ecstatic about my position right now, I'm doing okay and I'm just trying to accept where I am right now instead of putting too much stock in where I think I want to be.

  • @snotqueen4518
    @snotqueen4518 5 месяцев назад +1

    This video was truly an emotional rollercoaster!! I think that being able to have a kind of time capsule of your younger self speaking to you now is such a beautiful visual reminder that all of those versions of you still exist within you and inform you today (except maybe not your makeup skills, but even then maybe she was a cautionary tale idk). You are 4 years older than me and I have parasocially come to see you as an older sister/ mentor girlie in a way, but I truly do think that is a blessing that comes with growing older; your ability to share wisdom that make others feel less alone in the world. Thank you for your vulnerability fellow Piscean sister, it has truly touched my heart. Wishing you a truly happy and peaceful 30th year around the sun Nisa 💖

  • @cityandsaraah
    @cityandsaraah 2 месяца назад +1

    this was such a beautiful video ❤️

  • @Stephanie26904
    @Stephanie26904 5 месяцев назад +1

    happy birthday! and thank you for making this. i’m going to be 28 in April and for some reason i’ve been having random, anxious thoughts of 30

  • @ZarinaElahi
    @ZarinaElahi 5 месяцев назад +1

    HAPPY BIRTHDAY!! I'm so excited for you!! I think your 30s are going to be amazing. I'm turning 30 this year too, so this video got me right in the heart. Love it so much, have an amazing decade

  • @findlay7699
    @findlay7699 5 месяцев назад +1

    My dad had me when he was 49. The journey to create me was expensive and hard, but it happened. Being an older parent is so underrated, you do NOT need to 'have kids' in your 30s (especially if they aren't biological!), your 40's can be a just as rewarding and exciting time to raise a child. If my dad had me much younger life would have been a lot worse for everyone involved. Having a child ay any time can have its issues, but being a wonderful parent (in my opinion), overrules them. The love you could give a child would be eternal to them. There is always time, you can be the joy and love of a childs life (if you so choose to follow that path), you have time. Best wishes for your birthday

  • @Quarter_Turn
    @Quarter_Turn 5 месяцев назад

    I lost my father 8 years ago, and I also get sad when I think about how he never got to see grow in all the ways I have since his passing. Thank you for making this video.

  • @ampersignia
    @ampersignia 2 месяца назад

    It was my 31st birthday yesterday and I’m sobbing about the idea that my mom is getting older too. I always send her a text that it’s the anniversary of her becoming a mother too, because that’s what it is besides my birthday

  • @Anbirchester
    @Anbirchester 5 месяцев назад

    The reacting to your past videos part was so real, I write my future self letters and when I eventually read them it's just me going "it wasn't that scary or that bad, you'll be fine" also, happy birthday!!
    May there be many more "you're getting older" additions

  • @wordsofalegend8228
    @wordsofalegend8228 5 месяцев назад

    Hi nisa my dad died when i was 17 and like I'm extremely terrified of aging to the point where i just have an mid life crisis and im not even mid life, and now I'm also struggling with the fact that my mom is going to die at some point too tysm for making this

  • @oephenia1368
    @oephenia1368 5 месяцев назад +2

    Unrelated but can I just say you are absolutely getting more beautiful as you age. You also just seem a lot more sure of yourself. Also I'm the same age as you and married, and honestly marriage is so funny because after you do it you realise how much of a non - thing it is (vs. A long term relationship).

  • @handsnanitizer
    @handsnanitizer 5 месяцев назад

    thank you for this, the last few days have been incredibly difficult and it's nice to just sit and listen to someone talk for awhile

  • @IAmSurroundedByCats
    @IAmSurroundedByCats 5 месяцев назад

    i'm turning 30 in august and i feel so many of the same feelings you've expressed in this video. so even though i'm scared, i'm at least grateful you've opened up about how you're feeling, because it really does make me feel less alone

  • @elle1107
    @elle1107 5 месяцев назад

    Feeling every portion of this. What a privilege it is to have past you speak to "now" you. Thank you for sharing.

  • @peachmorris
    @peachmorris 20 дней назад

    Oh this was just so gorgeous

  • @ValentineJude-wk6je
    @ValentineJude-wk6je 5 месяцев назад

    this video had me smiling all goofy over how sweet it is. i admire the way you were gentle with yourself while feeling real and vulnerable. you are absolutely glowing and painfully beautiful. happy birthday nisa !!

  • @fawanamas
    @fawanamas 5 месяцев назад

    as someone who lost my mother when i was very young i relate so so SO deeply to you talking about your dad. it perfectly put into words the thoughts i've been stewing over for years. i'm still rather young myself (only 20), but i've been watching your channel since i was 15. your videos have always been a comfort to me and have made the tough times that much easier to get through. you are so much cooler and more beautiful than you know. thank you for this video and for all the others you've made. i've never really had any female role models to look up to in my life, but your ability to balance sincerity with unserious-ness makes me excited about growing older. anyways i Will shut up now but i just wanted to dump some thoughts out and show my appreciation for you

  • @Deafkid97
    @Deafkid97 5 месяцев назад

    Oh Nisa, I’m so sorry that you have complex feelings about having kid, I hope talking about the situation really helped ❤ happy birthday it’s been exciting to see you grow!

  • @nickiethesaint316
    @nickiethesaint316 5 месяцев назад +2

    Ominous post on my (our) birthday. 😂🎉🎉🎉 Happy birthday 🎊

  • @All_Lemons
    @All_Lemons 5 месяцев назад

    I just turned 30 last December, and I just can't get over how correct you were for every stage of life in all three of your videos ❤

  • @fluttervixen
    @fluttervixen 5 месяцев назад

    Thanks for making this video, I'm graduating hs and turning 18 in like 4 months or so, and I'm so nervous about becoming an "adult". It's comforting to know I'm not alone in this and that people my age and older are scared of getting older too.

  • @chaostheorii
    @chaostheorii 5 месяцев назад

    thank you so much for this video!! you’re always so honest and say exactly the things i’m feeling in such profound ways. ❤️ i turned 25 last year and it felt so BIG to me as i still have no idea what i want to do career-wise and am just working an office job i don’t care about, but i’ve been trying to give myself grace and time to figure things out and remind myself there’s no deadline for anything, even though it feels like there is sometimes

  • @salemfae
    @salemfae 5 месяцев назад +1

    Happy birthday fellow water sign queen 🌊✨💕

  • @BlueNinjaMonkey
    @BlueNinjaMonkey 5 месяцев назад +2

    thank you for this video it was so relatable

  • @moth1560
    @moth1560 5 месяцев назад

    thank you so much for opening up, i love your funny videos but i love even more your insightful, serious comments and stories, this video in particular really resonates with me

  • @mariamalelli
    @mariamalelli 5 месяцев назад

    I personally love you so so much. you are like the best friend that you dont see too often, but when you do everything feels like its exactly as it should be. Your videos make me feel safe, and accepting of myself. You are inspiring and im always excited to hear from you, no matter what the subject is.
    You are incredible and everything will be ok!

  • @gravyall0va
    @gravyall0va 5 месяцев назад

    I don’t know how to explain how lucky I feel that I had the honor of coming across your channel/ your existence. I absolutely love you for being you. I love your personality. You are such a beautiful person

  • @Stormy38044
    @Stormy38044 5 месяцев назад

    Happy birthday gurl! there is something that tends to happen +/- 3 years of 30, where at least one aspect of death gets at least more real. Please be gentle with yourself about it. The fear doesn't go - at least not straight away, but the haunting times can absolutely be used to propel yourself along to getting some thing achieved, goals done, etc. The 30s are actually great. Sometimes they're terrible but they're mostly great.
    There are absolutely some people that I wish were here to see me now. I miss hearing their voices, sharing their stories, feeling their touch, their presence. I wish I hadn't taken the time we had together for granted. But as cheesy and corny and naive as it sounds, I just pay it forward and try not be an asshole to others (at least most of the time). I've found it fun to let myself be curious about the world and try to love it a little more.
    -from a recently-ish 34 year old woman

  • @salamalmahi541
    @salamalmahi541 5 месяцев назад

    Thank you for sharing ❤ I’m 28 and constantly thinking and freaking out about turning 30 that I’m not even enjoying those last couple of years of my 20s 😢 Everything you said is so relatable!

  • @bean0329
    @bean0329 5 месяцев назад

    First, happy belated birthday from someone who is also turning 30 this month. Also, I 100% share your feelings about getting older with respect to your parents. I also lost my dad when I was younger, and cannot fathom a world where my mom isn't here. It's upsetting to think about the fact that there's a parent that has no idea who you have grown to be. When I graduated from high school and college, and then when I got married, I was obviously happy and excited, and it's not as if I didn't have other loved ones there to celebrate with, but those life moments are also really hard and complicated emotionally because of the fact that there's someone who never got to see you reach those milestones. My dad also died when he was in his thirties, so each year I get closer and closer to outliving my parent.

  • @CarebearO
    @CarebearO 5 месяцев назад

    i really appreciated when you got emotional about this subject, seeing real humanity and sincerity is nice to find on the internet. welcome to your 30s!

  • @IncorrectHB
    @IncorrectHB 18 дней назад

    Im only 20 but the whole fear of the world aging is so relatable and i think thats my issue too

  • @theabnormalsquid
    @theabnormalsquid 5 месяцев назад

    Happy birthday!
    I turned 30 this last September, and I had weird feelings about it, but since then, I’ve felt no different, except for that fact that I have to tell myself to not feel like I *have* to hit any “milestones” (e.g. marriage, kids) and it’s fine to just be *living*
    Thank you for being raw and honest; I want to give you a hug through the screen ❤

  • @beanybean000
    @beanybean000 5 месяцев назад

    happy birthday!!! thank you for being honest about the existential panic we all feel

  • @zigzagzagoon
    @zigzagzagoon 5 месяцев назад

    happy birthday nisa!!! im similarly afraid of aging but there is a point where we assign meaning to things that we dont need to tear hair out over. i appreciate your honesty in showing those moments to us :)

  • @iscreamcandy1161
    @iscreamcandy1161 5 месяцев назад

    Thank you for the video . The thoughts of getting older are always on my mind. The fear of my parents is also there. As I witness those around, go through various forms of reality , I feel stuck in this fear bubble , and I know it won't do me any good , but I have a hard time shaking it. Oftentimes, I'll neglect my inner feelings and opt to be a friend to others, leaving myself vulnerable and desperate for a friend. Your reflection really makes me want to take the time to reflect and be there for myself more . I look forward to seeing the growth you make in your thirties, Nisa.

  • @GG-cm2si
    @GG-cm2si 4 месяца назад

    girl i turned 20 last month and i cried everyday on my bday week, i still feel like i was just 17 a yr ago

  • @rachellwhelan
    @rachellwhelan 5 месяцев назад

    Happy freaking birthday, and thank you for this video. I'd listen to you read the phone book, but man oh man this was the realest video I've seen in a long time.

  • @ickysoba
    @ickysoba 5 месяцев назад

    happy birthday miss nisanisa!! also re: the old mom thing, i totally feel that! i'm 20, but me and my brother were born when our parents were just turning 40. it's so scary to think that i have, at most, 40 more years with my parents. like that's a long time, but also i'm 20?? i've already been through half of that?? i just can't fathom a world without them but, like you said, every day i get closer and closer to that reality :(

  • @kasiamalinowska7735
    @kasiamalinowska7735 5 месяцев назад

    Thank you for being vulnerable
    Happy birthday and I hope you’ll find someone to share all those beautiful quirky thoughts for life 🌸