This is like one of those old Star Trek episodes where they found a bunch of leftover costumes from another production and wrote the script around that.
I hear they set the filming schedule around it, all scenes involving flaming barrels were shot sequentially and then moved around in editing later...They probably only had 1 day of burning permits.
Love how all the comments on rifftrax/MST3K uploads are consistently positive and humorous. There is little if any negativity or petty nonsense. Rare these days in any comments section. Cheers ☺
Only time negative comments come is if there are controversial themes in the movie (feminism, racial problems, etc). Fortunately most movies are devoid of that and/or are so so bad that you are a weirdo if you care more about some dumb feminist moment vs laughing at the riffs
The blonde guy with the 'stache is Darby Hinton. He is private detective Cody Abilene in "Malibu Express," directed by the great Andy Sidaris. He did a love scene with Sybil Danning. Show some respect.
They're probably so "advanced" that they cut it themselves, like Kevin joked about. Doesn't mean they're any good at it, but it's the thought that counts.
"There is no world." That might be one of the dumbest lines of dialogue I've ever heard. Edit: Sidenote, I absolutely love the decision to have a baby crying throughout almost the entire movie. Really helps to build atmosphere and doesn't get annoying after five minutes in the least.
I'm confused by the film plot. Robots 🤖 or AI took out ALL humans? Or did the want a Borg, Cylon race type cyborg/mutant? Why are the human looking cyborgs so clunky, easy to kill? How or where are healthy normal adult humans raised? In this "bleak future"?
Can someone who's seen the full movie explain wtf is going on? Like why are robots using prostitutes? What's the Black Death they mention? Who are the old guys in robes? Why does the lead actually look confused when he shoots that robot the first time? Why are all the robots wearing orange snow suits?
I'm guessing the old guys are the council of scientists who decided to save the human race (dying of an unspecified plague) by turning them into cyborgs (the "robots" who evidently still have functioning human genitals).
To "mix" time frames, genres like Walter Hill's Streets of Fire, Tim Burton's Batman, FX's Archer was + but you have to have talent, skill to pull it off.
Not a single person in this entire "film" has any acting ability. How did the casting director (aka the hobo outside the director's studio apartment) pull that off?
Most uncomfortable movie, not because they dragged a premature baby around naked through most of it, but the 30 minute walking up an escalator action sequence.
One of the many ways this movie could be better is to have the "robots" dress in suits as the upper class of the city, and humans wear the orange jumpsuits, a sign of their imprisonment to the robots. Unfortunately, that level of symbolic detail is above the pay grade of this movie.
1:42 - ernie els and john travolta 2:36 - andy samberg and meryl streep 3:31 - dave foley (from kids in the hall) 4:15 - 23 cabins, 23 vacancies 5:30 - chuck norris an jamie lee curtis 5:32 - the butler that beat einstein to his own equations 6:20 - tony shalhoub wearing cutout star trek uniform 6:35 - david hilbert wants to suck your blood
I had to look it up--Greydon Clark has directed 20 movies. Who kept giving him money?!? Not only that, but with so much experience, you might think he'd have gotten better over time, right? The most recent of those movies was fucking *Star Games.*
3:15-3:21 literally sounded like a jazz band falling down the stairs. Ehh, maybe we're too old. Our generation doesn't get this newfangled future music.
Does this movie look interesting to anyone else? I mean, *stupid*, don't get me wrong, but the kind of movie you need to see in full just to figure out what the hell's going on with the worldbuilding.
@@elafimilo8199 ...Is it, though? Because there are a LOT of questions left unanswered, such as: - Why do the cyborgs have detached, easy-to-steal guns when they could just shoot lasers from their eyes or something? - Why is there a need for different cyborg models (Neros, Hagans, etc)? Other than looks, how are they in any way different? Are they clones of the same handful of guys? Why not just clone one guy five hundred times and be done with it? I guess masks, armor and such weren't exactly in the budget, but y'all have tons of boxes and barrels lying around. Get creative, Greydon! - Why do the cyborgs have human genitals? It's not like they need to reproduce; each model is cut from the same cloth. Also, think of how much more they'd get done if they weren't boinking human prostitutes. And, oh yeah, that kick to the nuts thing wouldn't be an issue. Just fashion a funnel for the pee to go through. (Wait, what do they even eat? How do they poop? Oh lord.) - Why are there different cultures and time periods in this...I guess it's a theme park? Is this the humans' attempt at preserving their history? And if the Patrons hate them so much, why would they allow that? Gives 'em too much hope. - The main character said the one cyborg was once his best friend. Does that mean his best friend was a clone before they added the cyborg parts to him? Was he the original dude the cyborgs were cloned from? If so, how does he look so young? Bartender-'stache mentions stuff that went down between them 40 years ago, so-? - Back to the appearance thing, how in the world was it decided who the cyborgs would be modeled from? Were the original "Nero" and "Hagan" the brilliant minds that created them in the first place (and perhaps the same "brilliant" minds that programmed them to hate humans for some reason)? - Why is this kid the first baby born since the Black Death? Did exposure to the disease leave humans unable to reproduce, or did the Patrons just enforce strict chastity laws against them? - If their guns are so easily stolen, why the hell aren't the cyborgs laser-proof??? Kind of a huge design flaw. - If the Patrons don't want humans to reproduce, I guess they want to kill the baby so the rest of humanity eventually dies out, but what'd they have left to rule over? A barren landscape, a junkyard of boxes and flaming trash barrels, and a robot army whose one purpose was to keep humans in line? The hell are those bots supposed to do now? Become domestic servants or get scrapped for parts, I guess. - BUT WAIT, if the Patrons feed the humans to keep them alive, apparently they realize they'd have nothing to rule over without them, so they *don't* want to kill the baby. What's her significance to them, then? What do they want her for? -And why do the Patrons hate humans so much? Are they actually aliens? But why take human form, then? God, my brain. You can't see it, but I'm ranting in front of a yarn web on my wall right now. I'm putting way more thought into this than the writers did. Maybe I should just let a stupid movie be a stupid movie.
This is like one of those old Star Trek episodes where they found a bunch of leftover costumes from another production and wrote the script around that.
"KEEP HIM AWAY FROM THE BABY!" made me laugh way more than it should have.
They only had 2 flaming barrels to work with but dammit they made the best of it.
I hear they set the filming schedule around it, all scenes involving flaming barrels were shot sequentially and then moved around in editing later...They probably only had 1 day of burning permits.
@@jamesfrank3213 This was shot in 1994 Russia. Surprised they even cared about permits.
Woah guys! Don't EVER try and compare someone to Rowsdower. Until they can rid the world of Canadian villain Garth Vader like he did, no one rates.
Rowsdaur saves us and saves all the world.
Hail Rowsdower
Rowsdower!!!!!!!!
I was thinking the same thing! May Rowsdower enjoy his beer on the sun.
Love how all the comments on rifftrax/MST3K uploads are consistently positive and humorous. There is little if any negativity or petty nonsense. Rare these days in any comments section. Cheers ☺
We unite to roast these terrible movies
Only time negative comments come is if there are controversial themes in the movie (feminism, racial problems, etc). Fortunately most movies are devoid of that and/or are so so bad that you are a weirdo if you care more about some dumb feminist moment vs laughing at the riffs
To be fair, the guys create all the petty nonsense and negativity already.
Wait..wait...the bartender with the pornstache is the hero of this movie? Unbelievable.
Movie? I want to see your manager. This cannot be our hero.
😂
At least it wasn't the vaguely human looking creature in glasses.
Yes he’s the worst
I think he's in every Greydon Clark movie.
The special effects for the ray gun hits were pretty impressive. The actors may have been in real danger from the exploding super squibs.
I doubt Moscow immediately post USSR collapse was really big on safety on movie sets and none of those actors were union so... go nuts!
When characters wave Super Nintendo game guns 🔫 around, you know it's a class act!
The blonde guy with the 'stache is Darby Hinton.
He is private detective Cody Abilene in "Malibu Express," directed by the great Andy Sidaris. He did a love scene with Sybil Danning.
Show some respect.
He was also the forest ranger in Star Games. That cost him a bit of respect, sad to say.
I thought I recalled him! Ohhhh those 1980s era Showtime runs! I think Debra Speir was 😘 too.
Everyone’s wardrobe looks like they stole it from Salvation Army
Why do these superior Cyborgs have such terrible hairlines?
They're probably so "advanced" that they cut it themselves, like Kevin joked about.
Doesn't mean they're any good at it, but it's the thought that counts.
A Joe Don Baker reference? Oh, Rifftrax, you spoil me. :-)
Appropriate, since i think Graydon Clark also directed _Final Justice_
My my my Mitchell! 😆
@@DavidLLambertmobile I can hear it now...good times!
So this is reverse Westworld?
Not so much a dark future as a poorly lit one, in my view.
Ironic because the whole movie is lit by literally hundreds of flaming barrels.
"Dim Future" didn't have the same ring to it
Hey those barrels 🛢 don't light themselves!
07:33 “Eets a’me, Murdero!” 👀😂😂😂
Best riff of the movie
"Greydon Clark, David Giancola's Shelbyville." Haven't watched The Simpsons in almost 30 years so had to Google that. Really makes sense, though.
"There is no world." That might be one of the dumbest lines of dialogue I've ever heard.
Edit: Sidenote, I absolutely love the decision to have a baby crying throughout almost the entire movie. Really helps to build atmosphere and doesn't get annoying after five minutes in the least.
"he looks like a vampire the other vampires don't respect".
So Colin Robinson?
9:35 “He looks like the vampire the other vampires don’t respect!”
“It’s-a me, murdero”
Olan Mills portrait ray 😂
So, a Gangrel?
I like the delay in special effects when Rowzdower uses weapons. And the hangers make enduring the stupidity totally worth it.
'KEEP HIM AWAY FROM THE BABY!" Keep the viewers AWAY from this film! Let the viewers KEEP their sanity!
The guy with the mustache looks like Adam Sandler’s friend in “The Wedding Singer”
It's hard to imagine a lower level of dignity where Rowsdower is referred to as the class act.
The guy with the worse haircut looks like an old human version of Stewie.
that creepy glasses guy is going to haunt my nightmares...
Dollar Store Maj Thont. Lol
Diet coke Hilary Swank there
Shot in Russia in 1993 or 1994, possibly around Moscow (the Metro escalator is a dead giveaway).
Wasn't it used in Firefox too? After Gant kills the KGB agent?
Why the hell would robots have human prostitutes? It makes absolutely no sense.
If the pay's good...
I'm confused by the film plot. Robots 🤖 or AI took out ALL humans? Or did the want a Borg, Cylon race type cyborg/mutant? Why are the human looking cyborgs so clunky, easy to kill? How or where are healthy normal adult humans raised? In this "bleak future"?
*Kalgan lives*
Lmao love the channel name. “I’LL POP MY SKULL OUT AT YOU”
Can someone who's seen the full movie explain wtf is going on? Like why are robots using prostitutes? What's the Black Death they mention? Who are the old guys in robes? Why does the lead actually look confused when he shoots that robot the first time? Why are all the robots wearing orange snow suits?
I've seen the whole movie. It doesn't answer your questions. Have a nice day.
I'm guessing the old guys are the council of scientists who decided to save the human race (dying of an unspecified plague) by turning them into cyborgs (the "robots" who evidently still have functioning human genitals).
Dating This Film Has Never Been More Complicated!
To "mix" time frames, genres like Walter Hill's Streets of Fire, Tim Burton's Batman, FX's Archer was + but you have to have talent, skill to pull it off.
This is like someone tried to make _Brazil_ in a toilet with rotten apples and ketchup packets.
1:31 Professor Bobo voice!
All the complaint/jokes about "Star Games" yet Greydon Clark also did "Final Justice"? Joe Don Baker demands equal time!
Ehhh... _Final Justice_ sucked, but at least it didn't have an annoying kid in it.
2:00 I had one of those things when I was a kid back in the 90’s. My mom bought me one from the left brain right brain store back then…
0:39... In the Dark Future, Members Only jackets are three times as bulky...
You can't tell me headband guy isn't Rob Zombie fresh from the shower!
16:03 huh people watching a movie in a theater in a movie where three familiar voices are making jokes towards, anyone else getting deja vu?
Rings a bell. Just can't quite put my finger on it. XD
Not a single person in this entire "film" has any acting ability. How did the casting director (aka the hobo outside the director's studio apartment) pull that off?
the answer you're looking for is "Meth"
Eh, I thought the lead guy was passable. He couldn't save the movie, though. Nobody could do that.
@@AmyLSacks I agree the lead guy wasn't the worst, but his constantly-out-of-breath way of speaking got irritating after a while.
See, I didn't even notice. Ah, the joys of diminished hearing! ;)
@@AmyLSacks lol It's not too bad in this vid. I just bought the whole riff and it's pretty noticeable there.
7:59
Wow, these TED talks have taken a weird turn in the last few years.
I too felt the Rowsdower.
"Must warn people about _Star Games!"_
How dare you. _Star Games_ is the _Leonard Part 6_ of our era.
Most uncomfortable movie, not because they dragged a premature baby around naked through most of it, but the 30 minute walking up an escalator action sequence.
One of the many ways this movie could be better is to have the "robots" dress in suits as the upper class of the city, and humans wear the orange jumpsuits, a sign of their imprisonment to the robots. Unfortunately, that level of symbolic detail is above the pay grade of this movie.
1:42 - ernie els and john travolta
2:36 - andy samberg and meryl streep
3:31 - dave foley (from kids in the hall)
4:15 - 23 cabins, 23 vacancies
5:30 - chuck norris an jamie lee curtis
5:32 - the butler that beat einstein to his own equations
6:20 - tony shalhoub wearing cutout star trek uniform
6:35 - david hilbert wants to suck your blood
5:52-5:54
Sweet merciful God in Heaven. I think Tommy Wiseau might be a better actor than this guy.
I dunno. Without him asking Mark about his sex life, it's impossible to make a direct comparison.
The music guy= Joe Jackson IS Dracula!!!! 😂
5:38 Stranger Danger!
2:14 Why is the future always so retro
5:52 I burst out laughing at the same time as Mike, Kevin and Bill there haha
Jesus, Kalgan, you backlogged the hell out of these. I'm certainly not complaining.
If he wanted Collins to stay low, he shoulda had him read the script from start to finish. OH, not that kinda low?
A FloBee! OMG! If you wanted to give yourself a crappy haircut....that was how you did it.
For some reason, I really like that Nero guy's voice.
Has there ever been a Greydon Clark film that wasn't riffed?
I had to look it up--Greydon Clark has directed 20 movies. Who kept giving him money?!?
Not only that, but with so much experience, you might think he'd have gotten better over time, right? The most recent of those movies was fucking *Star Games.*
It's a me, Murdero!
13:44 That's Moscow subway (!?)
yes! of all the places in the world
The mind of Graydon Clarke ...
The dizzying, dissonant saxophone is the brass instrument cousin of the acoustic guitar noodling from Roller Gator.
"I love it when a movie pauses to explain what food is."🤣
Yeah I’ve been on the fence about food being a good thing. This movie really made me think.
Nero kinda resembles director John McTiernan (Predator, Die Hard, Last Action Hero, et. al)
Quick question; Was this movie meant to be taken seriously...or not?
You know what not enough movies have? Canned baby crying for the majority of the runtime.
God, could you imagine if "Children of Men" had made that choice?
why do robots need "pleasures"?
I think they saw Blade Runner & maybe Logan's Run & said hey ... we can do that in what was the USSR.
Another bottom of the bargain bin movie from Graydon Clark!
Now you know the source of inspiration for that shoot out in the bar in Total Recall 🤖
when i had rifftrax Friends i watched this over and over and over...
What's with the soundtrack in this movie?
3:15-3:21 literally sounded like a jazz band falling down the stairs. Ehh, maybe we're too old. Our generation doesn't get this newfangled future music.
Similar to the fight music in _Manos: The Hands Of Fate_
Dork Future?
I must feed!! LOL
So....Niedermeyer and Rik Mayall lookalikes
2:55 - spawn of mary ann and ginger
Why is blonde mustache guy constantly our of breath?
Bad acting is exhausting.
He's on the run from his acting coach & never paid for his lessons, 8x10 b-w head shots.
What's in the future, a dark or something?
Looks like an old Doom2 level when they swap out the toxic barrels for flaming ones
What the hell is the plot of this movie?
The darkness of the future.
KEEP HIM AWAY FROM THE BABY
;D ;D
Chris Froome's helmet HairDoo is getting popular
4:17 Hey talking calculator, pretty sure us meatbags have been operating weapons with triggers long before you lot came along.
5:37 What the literal fuck?! 😂
This nero looks like Phil Hartman
Hil phartman
how in the actual fuck did this movie get a literal newborn baby
0:12 🤣
Hush Baby Ramen?!?
Does this movie look interesting to anyone else?
I mean, *stupid*, don't get me wrong, but the kind of movie you need to see in full just to figure out what the hell's going on with the worldbuilding.
Yeah, though it seems to be another case of ambition>budget or talent.
lotta rifftrax & mst3k films are like that
It feels like a low-rent hybrid of “Blade Runner” and “Children of Men”.
I mean, just from a selection like this one I think it'd be pretty easy to guess what's going on with the worldbuilding.
@@elafimilo8199 ...Is it, though? Because there are a LOT of questions left unanswered, such as:
- Why do the cyborgs have detached, easy-to-steal guns when they could just shoot lasers from their eyes or something?
- Why is there a need for different cyborg models (Neros, Hagans, etc)? Other than looks, how are they in any way different? Are they clones of the same handful of guys? Why not just clone one guy five hundred times and be done with it? I guess masks, armor and such weren't exactly in the budget, but y'all have tons of boxes and barrels lying around. Get creative, Greydon!
- Why do the cyborgs have human genitals? It's not like they need to reproduce; each model is cut from the same cloth. Also, think of how much more they'd get done if they weren't boinking human prostitutes. And, oh yeah, that kick to the nuts thing wouldn't be an issue. Just fashion a funnel for the pee to go through. (Wait, what do they even eat? How do they poop? Oh lord.)
- Why are there different cultures and time periods in this...I guess it's a theme park? Is this the humans' attempt at preserving their history? And if the Patrons hate them so much, why would they allow that? Gives 'em too much hope.
- The main character said the one cyborg was once his best friend. Does that mean his best friend was a clone before they added the cyborg parts to him? Was he the original dude the cyborgs were cloned from? If so, how does he look so young? Bartender-'stache mentions stuff that went down between them 40 years ago, so-?
- Back to the appearance thing, how in the world was it decided who the cyborgs would be modeled from? Were the original "Nero" and "Hagan" the brilliant minds that created them in the first place (and perhaps the same "brilliant" minds that programmed them to hate humans for some reason)?
- Why is this kid the first baby born since the Black Death? Did exposure to the disease leave humans unable to reproduce, or did the Patrons just enforce strict chastity laws against them?
- If their guns are so easily stolen, why the hell aren't the cyborgs laser-proof??? Kind of a huge design flaw.
- If the Patrons don't want humans to reproduce, I guess they want to kill the baby so the rest of humanity eventually dies out, but what'd they have left to rule over? A barren landscape, a junkyard of boxes and flaming trash barrels, and a robot army whose one purpose was to keep humans in line? The hell are those bots supposed to do now? Become domestic servants or get scrapped for parts, I guess.
- BUT WAIT, if the Patrons feed the humans to keep them alive, apparently they realize they'd have nothing to rule over without them, so they *don't* want to kill the baby. What's her significance to them, then? What do they want her for?
-And why do the Patrons hate humans so much? Are they actually aliens? But why take human form, then? God, my brain.
You can't see it, but I'm ranting in front of a yarn web on my wall right now. I'm putting way more thought into this than the writers did. Maybe I should just let a stupid movie be a stupid movie.
15:55 😂😂😂😂😂
Wow.....
10:57 😂😂
Newsies with Uzis! Coming to Disney Plus!
Redrum
When are they thing to riff the Trancers movies?
Shut up human.
The one down voter……..*all around me are familiar faces….
@6:28...Baker Mayfield????
Greydon Clark sucks his 80's movies aren't even FUN bad. Just Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
I liked _Joysticks_ (1983)
The Rifftrax is, of course, funny and worth the resources. But, this film, is f*kn awful!! XD
"Keep him away from the baby!" Hey, leave Joe Biden out of this.