after i watched this i was walking to junior high in the morning. it was like 7am and the streets were empty. i was really cheerful, and then i tripped on a pebble and oh my god i don't know why but it totally threw me off and got me paranoid that someone saw me xD for some reason it totally killed my confidence xD
if i get a low grade for not studying history.. saying i watched all seven parts of ellen stand up comedy is an acceptable and understandable excuse.. now i've just got to convince my teacher about that too..
Here I go, here I go, here I go again (again?) Girls, what's my weakness? (Men!) Ok then, chillin', chillin', mindin' my business (word) Yo, Salt, I looked around, and I couldn't believe this I swear, I stared, my niece my witness The brother had it goin' on with somethin' kinda...uh Wicked, wicked (oooo) - had to kick it I'm not shy so I asked for the digits A ho? No, that don't make me See what I want slip slide to it swifty
damn. i typed in procrastination on youtube because i need to write this english paper and ive put it off for like a week and then i watch this whole thing and at the end im thinking "yes here comes a really deep message that will send me on my way to do my english paper." and then the message is... PROCRASTINATE NOW. im screwed.
wow. only 17 people didnt like this. How? shes fucking amazing? Its because she a lez right? dont lie. That may not be one of the only reasons. But its one of them. So times are changing. So are the people around you. If you think love is wrong...there must be somethign wrong with you,
Felt it in my hips so I dipped back to my bag of tricks Then I flipped for a tip, make me wanna do tricks for him Lick him like a lollipop should be licked Came to my senses and I chilled for a bit Don't know how you do the voodoo that you do So well it's a spell, hell, makes me wanna shoop shoop shoop
@iamimmortalify Hmmm plz dont accuse ppl of not liking her just cause she's a lez, some ppl just don't share the same sense of humor, it may be true, but by accusing them of that your just being as shallow as they are for not liking her. Don't get me wrong i fucking love Ellen, she's like my hero, but sometimes i tihnk the things she says aren't funny, and i can accept that some ppl may not like her sense of humor. Remember it takes all kinds to fill the world =)
thats probably a good reason beeing jealous on people who life in an english speaking country.. not even that you sing the wrong lyrics.. imagine you stay in a club of a foreign country and listen to what they sing
HAHAHAHA - "That song tells my story"... That's just hilarious! I got real sad when it was over too... I could have watched for days... til I was all cried out from laughter... Thanks for posting this! xxx
Thank you so much for putting this here! I needed to laugh this hard!=) Btw, can anyone tell me what the song is titled that she is singing in the end (and refering to earlier)? And by who/whom?
The worst thing about walking into pure glass windows is the noise they make. It always seems louder than anything. It's so distinctive at least one person knows you walked into it!
Wow, I remember watching this a long time ago and it is still funny. I find it ironic that the song that tells her story is a song about girls and men but Ellen isn't attracted to men.
i watched from clip 1 to 7 and it was worth it, i love ellen shes so funny!! :D ironically i started watching this out of procrastination because i didnt want to do homework
that was the best stand up routine i've ever seen the very fact that she related it all made my day ellen...i love you, your jokes, philosophies, singing, and face
She is BRILLIANT...it takes a very smart person to be that funny without being raunchy andto be SPOT ON about thier observations...lol. I love you, Ellen.
when you know you there´s things you should do but you take really long time getting it started. and do other things or nothing instead of getting whatever it is done.
I love how she basically procrastinated during the whole show. Procrastination was the overall theme and became the biggest and best joke she did the entire show.
I laugh at/with a lot of different comedians, but I always genuinely feel good after Ellen. =)
Ellen is the BEST SHE TALKS ABOUT THINGS THAT REALLY HAPPEN TO ALL OF US SHE IS GREAT
oh my god this tripping part is so true
Hello !‼️💛💚💙💜♥️💟
💚Freely ICONICALLY Heavenly SweetHearts 💛 Luckily Clearly Fun 🤩 Lovely 💚 Wins🏅Best Gorgeously 💙 Amazingly Newly Happy 😃 Thanks 🙏🏿 Helpingly Very Kindly 💜 Cool 💯 Beautifully 🙏🏻 Done ✔️ YESsss 🎉 Wowww ♥️ Congratulations 🎊 Greatnessly Winningly🥇Cleaningly Stunningly 😍 Lucky 💟 Forevermore Freedomly Lovingly_True!‼️💛💚💙💜♥️💟 Love_!‼️♥️💚💟
💚Ellen DeGeneres!‼️💜♥️
🌍♥️💜💙💚💛🧡♥️💜🌎
The first minute is so Jerry Seinfeld's style of bit and i'm not mad about it. #lmao
"RESPECT find out what it means to me RESPECT....hagkuhsd kifgiasdu......sock it to me sock it to me sock it to me!" hahahaha
lol! in the song "RESPECT" i always thought it sounded like "take care of PCP." lol!
Take care tcb (take care of business)
"It's so clean and shiny!" I love how she says that.
And the laughing she does during that part is hysterical!
this kills me. she is me my humor better than anyone
she so funny :)
Thanks so much for uploading this!
Ellen never fails to brighten my day.
I'm gonna go procrastinate now.
The whole show was fantastic! I just didn't want it to end!! ahhh I love Ellen so much! Awesome!
i love how this is like 7 years old yet we can still all relate to it.
I loved when she was quoting Salt-N-Pepa! That was too damn hilarious!
1:20 plate glass window bit.
20 people tripped and pretended to run
after i watched this i was walking to junior high in the morning. it was like 7am and the streets were empty. i was really cheerful, and then i tripped on a pebble and oh my god i don't know why but it totally threw me off and got me paranoid that someone saw me xD for some reason it totally killed my confidence xD
i remember when i first saw this i thought it was so awesome that she managed to tie in why it was good to procrastinate
if i get a low grade for not studying history..
saying i watched all seven parts of ellen stand up comedy is an acceptable and understandable excuse..
now i've just got to convince my teacher about that too..
i just procrastinated by watching this entire 7 part comedy act. it did feel so right.
RESPECT
find out what it means to me
RESPECT
take care, TCB
There you go Ellen. Noone knows these lyrics! Still dont understand what they mean :P
hahahaha. oh my is that blood? im bleeding hahaha. isnt that funny. hahaha
Here I go, here I go, here I go again (again?)
Girls, what's my weakness? (Men!)
Ok then, chillin', chillin', mindin' my business (word)
Yo, Salt, I looked around, and I couldn't believe this
I swear, I stared, my niece my witness
The brother had it goin' on with somethin' kinda...uh
Wicked, wicked (oooo) - had to kick it
I'm not shy so I asked for the digits
A ho? No, that don't make me
See what I want slip slide to it swifty
R.E.S.P.E.C.T find out what it means to me! R.E.S.P.E.C.T (random mumbling) PCT SOCK IT TO ME SOCK IT TO ME. lmfaoo1 ♥ ellen
damn. i typed in procrastination on youtube because i need to write this english paper and ive put it off for like a week and then i watch this whole thing and at the end im thinking "yes here comes a really deep message that will send me on my way to do my english paper." and then the message is... PROCRASTINATE NOW. im screwed.
wow. only 17 people didnt like this. How? shes fucking amazing? Its because she a lez right? dont lie. That may not be one of the only reasons. But its one of them. So times are changing. So are the people around you. If you think love is wrong...there must be somethign wrong with you,
Felt it in my hips so I dipped back to my bag of tricks
Then I flipped for a tip, make me wanna do tricks for him
Lick him like a lollipop should be licked
Came to my senses and I chilled for a bit
Don't know how you do the voodoo that you do
So well it's a spell, hell, makes me wanna shoop shoop shoop
@iamimmortalify Hmmm plz dont accuse ppl of not liking her just cause she's a lez, some ppl just don't share the same sense of humor, it may be true, but by accusing them of that your just being as shallow as they are for not liking her. Don't get me wrong i fucking love Ellen, she's like my hero, but sometimes i tihnk the things she says aren't funny, and i can accept that some ppl may not like her sense of humor. Remember it takes all kinds to fill the world =)
thats probably a good reason beeing jealous on people who life in an english speaking country.. not even that you sing the wrong lyrics..
imagine you stay in a club of a foreign country and listen to what they sing
HAHAHAHA - "That song tells my story"... That's just hilarious!
I got real sad when it was over too... I could have watched for days... til I was all cried out from laughter...
Thanks for posting this!
xxx
Thank you so much for putting this here! I needed to laugh this hard!=) Btw, can anyone tell me what the song is titled that she is singing in the end (and refering to earlier)? And by who/whom?
i could watch this over and over again and it never gets old!! gotta love ellen! thanks for the upload!
The worst thing about walking into pure glass windows is the noise they make. It always seems louder than anything. It's so distinctive at least one person knows you walked into it!
Wow, I remember watching this a long time ago and it is still funny.
I find it ironic that the song that tells her story is a song about girls and men but Ellen isn't attracted to men.
i watched from clip 1 to 7 and it was worth it, i love ellen shes so funny!! :D
ironically i started watching this out of procrastination because i didnt want to do homework
Listen to the music. Whoa, whoa. Listen to the music. LMAO. That was my favorite part. Ellen rocks.
that was the best stand up routine i've ever seen
the very fact that she related it all made my day
ellen...i love you, your jokes, philosophies, singing, and face
She is BRILLIANT...it takes a very smart person to be that funny without being raunchy andto be SPOT ON about thier observations...lol. I love you, Ellen.
She looks so sweet and innocent. I always wish we could have met in jr. high, and maybe we would have been best friends.
She gives that impression.
great great great!!! She's really the funniest person i know :P
I LOVE her!........ shows :P ;)
This is the best part of that show if you ask me :P
when you know you there´s things you should do but you take really long time getting it started.
and do other things or nothing instead of getting whatever it is done.
I put that as the quote at the bottom of my email, it's like my favorite line ever hahahaha. I get tons of comments from people who love it!
I love how she basically procrastinated during the whole show. Procrastination was the overall theme and became the biggest and best joke she did the entire show.
i am laughin so hard i swear i almost wet myself and i have no need to go to the bathroom it hurt to laugh it was so funny in my oppinion
I love ellen! She's so funny and this part is my favorite... "Isn't that funny I'm bleeding"
Thinks for th vids!
Cheers from France ;)
Everytime I watch this I laugh so hard my stomach hurts lol Ellen is one of the most funnist comedian's I've ever seen or heard.
happened to me yesterday, the triping thing, and i did loo back and fake that there was something XDXD
S'hes awesome!! very funny
"Procrastinate now. Don't put it off."
From now on, whenever someone nags me for procrastinating, I'll refer them to Ellen.
I fell the other day..and the first thing that came to my mind was "I tripped..somebody should put some orange cones up ahead!"
I watched this whole all at once and I was so sad it ended..I could have watched it like forever :D this one is my favorite part
Or maybe it was the other way around, since the tripping joke was featured on her 1996 book, "My point... and I do have one".
"My dog of 17 years just died"
"Awww you're kidding"
"No, as funny as that is, i'm not"
--Freakin love ellen.. So funny..
Funny part about this is that we all have gone thru some of these things...For me that makes it THAT much funnier!!!
i was jus guna start runnin neway i didnt trip, jus guna run...im running an im dun thas all i needed...OMG!LMFAO!
Don't know how you do the voodoo that you do
So well it's a spell, hell, makes me wanna shoop shoop shoop... x)
"i thought she tripped but she's running...she stopped - she did trip! YOU TRIPPED!"
oh man i love ellen so much,
She is absolutley hillarious i love when she sings at the end. i watch her show evreyday she is great! Love her. She rox!
"Im bleeding, hahaha, Isn't that funny..Im bleeding! Oh my, Can you help me find my eye?" HAHAHAHA Funny stuff!
I cannot find my eye..!
Possibly never laughed that much...actually hunched over in pain due to laughing!
About microwaves. Something that gets that hot without fire was made by the devil LOL. She's the best
"Once you get a hammer you find you don't hammer as much as you think you would"...... Ha haaaaaa!!
suck the coolness right out of you. hahaha.
i'm runnin' annnd i'm done. hahaha.
omg she's great!
"isnt that funny, ohh myyy...is that blood? HHAHAH." lol i love ellen!! her comedy is so classic.
i was meant to study for finals but.. im procrastinating now! here and now! hahaha thank u ellen.
LOL!
Ah that makes sense now! Oh jeez.
I love that song anyway. :P
Oh Jesus... cant stop laughing when she started with "urgh, I'm bleeding... oh my eye"... lol.
it's so clean and sssshhiny :D
her laugh is killing me :D
i lost my eye, isn't that funny
hahahahah
i'm running and. i'm. done.... that's all i needed
she is so awesome as she tells the truth!
'once you get a hammer you find you don't hammer as much as you thought you would'!! love it :-)
well just spend an hour going through this whole stand up..now thats procrastinating haha
LOL That sounded psychotic: "Ahahahaha, I lost my eye, hahahaha!" XD LOL Nice. Love it.
me too!!!! I have this HUGE Econ paper due tomorrow and I am watching all of these. lol.
I have watched Here and Now, tons of times and I still laugh my ass off. I love her!!!!
When you have a hammer you find you don't hammer as much as you thought you would... :D
once you get a hammer you find out you dont hammer as much as you think you would....
"is that blood ?, hahaha im bleeding, isnt that funny im bleeding."
HAHAHAHAHAHA !
i just cried for like 5 minutes, the tripping thing + the shiny door. too funny.
we make funn of this all the time ! me and my sister idolize her
19 people couldn't find the Like button... Can you help them find the Like button?
Ow! I had to pause it cuz my stomach hurt from laughing! And now I have to poo...
@bomberfun1 wow reallly that's what you have to say about her? get a chromosome.
I hope she's remembered more as a comedian than as a lesbian. She's very good.
i luv how her entire show just flowed it all makes sense!!! and its Hilarious!!!
"can you help me find my eye? I lost my eye? hahahaha" omg she's awesome
my quote of life is "procrastinate now, don't put it off!"
the missing part of the Respect song is Take Care, TCB..... but she was close....
I going to say this one last time: She tells the truth in such a great way!=)
i love the ending, i replay this just to wathc the end. its just epic rofl
whats that word at 7.34 ?! im from europe....i dont know how to write it...
HAHAHHAHAAHAHAH ooh gawd I have watch this 100000 times and its still funny
you really could have kept that to yourself definitely not that serious...
her jokes are hilarious! but she takes the little examples on for too long
OMG I LOVE ELLEN!!!!
This is soo hilarious, everyone needs to watch this!
I remember watching this on HBO and never ever tire of it.
I lost my eye!
ellen is amazing
"Can you help me find my eye? I cannot find my eye!" LOL! I love Ellen!
Thanks for this (and God bless Ellen Degeneres. I've always been a fan.)
can you help me find my eye lol thats funny oh god ellen is amazing :)
lol "someone should put some orange cones there's a pebble up ahead" xD
Her dance at the end is epic same with her voice rofl love u ellen
@linette1995 me too, I was crying because I had to laugh so hard! :D