One of the Biggest Needs of the Unfaithful Partner after an Affair: Humility
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- Опубликовано: 31 авг 2022
- After an affair, the unfaithful party can struggle with a tremendous amount of confusion and disorientation. Of course we know the betrayed can feel this way as well, but today Samuel is going to focus on a discipline that all wayward spouses can learn from: the view from the bottom. Borrowed from a commentary by Richard Rohr, Samuel shares the need for the unfaithful party to adopt and practice humility, both in their approach to life in general, and especially toward their betrayed partner and children. From attitudes of entitlement to self-preoccupation, unfaithfuls make the same mistakes time and time again, and it only sets them, and their relationships, back in spades. Listen today as Samuel shares hope for those who are trying to find a fresh start, both in life and in recovery work.
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Samuel is an infidelity survivor and is one of many contributors to Affair Recovery's Survivors’ Blog, www.affairrecovery.com/our-blog. He participated in Affair Recovery's courses developed by founder and infidelity expert Rick Reynolds, LCSW. After finding healing, hope, and new life, Samuel wishes to share his journey and what AffairRecovery.com has to offer with others so they too can find hope and healing.
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One of thee most important things the offender must realize. It doesn't matter what you do outside, meaning for work, community, mentoring, etc. Wht you did to your spouse eclipses all of that, because while doing all those other seemingly good deed, you crapped on your marriage and you must own that and humility is what's has to happen. Thanks for the video.
thank you for watching and commenting.
This one truly speaks to me. You are my go to channel. Me and my husband watch these videis together and we have never been better. Im the unfaithful btw
My wife said that she ain’t going to do anything.
She tells me to just get over it, let go of the past
I've been away from your videos a while. Glad to be back. Thank you Samuel and AR
welcome back my friend. thanks for watching and commenting.
Thank you for these videos. They’re helping me explore my own backstory to try to find some truth, since the unfaithful isn’t being open. I think entitlement may be at the root.
Thank you Samuel. I have been watching your videos for the past 4 years. I am a betrayed spouse and most of my recovery came through your videos and the Harboring Hope community. I don’t know how I would have gotten better. I did want to let you know the far reaching impact your community has. My daughter just found out she has been betrayed by her partner for years. I was able to send her partner your video. I know it’s going to make an impact. They have 2 beautiful children together. God bless you.
I'm so sorry for what your having to deal with. i'm honored i could be a friend and some sort of help. however i can help your daughter please let me know. with respect should you not come from faith, i will be praying for her and you.
This resonates heavy.
i’ve been watching your videos for several months, and am thankful God, and my wife, led me here! i tried, very hard, to destroy my marriage, but my wife stuck with me. i finally hit rock bottom, and your vids have helped me tremendously. This one was especially poignant!
My question is “How do I get plugged in?”. We live about 3 hours from Austin, on the coastal bend, but I don’t know how to go about getting the help I need, down here. Any help?
this content resonates very much with what I experienced, I need to rewatch this over times to always remember the view from the bottom.
Sam, I've watched so many of your videos, we've taken EMS online course and had a terrible drunken relapse. Ive taken responsibility and have done so much work but any sense of defensiveness makes her feel unsafe. Now she's ambivalent and wants to end the relationship and has been distant. Of course that made me panic and anxious and I feel desperate for her love but I feel she has given up and for the last 3 weeks, Ive only seen her for 2-3 days. How can I reconnect or should I just focus on myself, my own kids and accept the end?
How do I get past all the lies from my spouses 1.5 affair? His affair was from a friend of his that became the (close family friend), & yes that person became friendly with our 2 youngest grown kids who know about the affair now. He had started talking more about our family & he never told me how depressed he was. She had been in love (lust) with him sine High School 30 years ago. I had never cared for her but he always thought she was a good person (yeah right). after starting seeing how she really was & begging him to leave me (which he never did) he started seeing how she was (she also had other guys on the side & had kicked her 3rd husband out) he finally confessed to me what had happened. The hardest part for me is how emotionally attached he became & hateful he treated me & I don't know how to get past this? And yes we were in counseling this whole affair. Another hard part is no one believed me. He is remorseful & is talking more but I feel like I 'm getting the trickled truth. I also found out she stalked our home & amazing enough would show up when we were out. How do I get past this?
hi sherry. that's a lot for sure. i'm so sorry you have to deal with so much pain and hurt and just overall trauma. i do think it's possible to heal but it will take infidelity specific work to grieve the losses before being able to forgive them. it may help to understand more about what was going on in the mind of your partner as well which we can help with. it's no easy fix, but a process can help that's from experts who have been through it before personally. i would suggest the ems weekend or ems online courses we have on our site as well as finding an expert that can help you work through it. you can email info@hope-now.com for more help, insight and suggestions. i'm so glad you're here to find help though.
I’m so sorry for your pain and I hope you can find some clarity in all this.
Hard to believe but your story has many strong similarities
You are not alone! It’s like there’s a playbook or some pathetic script
From where was that Richard Rohr quote? I looked up his books and there are so many but none of them implies it addresses humility.
it was from one of his daily devotionals.