I did become a shell. But I am now post -shell. It took a hell of a long time. I actually never liked myself at all until the last narcissist delivered the final blow. Then went through a period of grief, of being a shell. Then went "this won't happen again." Did the therapy and reading and am still doing the work. And now I actually like myself for the first time. Halfway through my life. I'm actually cool as hell and I was the entire time, and I had no idea. So... It can really be a blessing in disguise. Sometimes hard luck can really be the kick in the pants you need to uncover the giant open wound that's running your entire engine and excising that thing so you now run the show, not the hurting kiddo that lives in your soul.
My thoughts when i hear "shell of your former self"? I was a writer, musician, pencil artist, stage singer and a pretty damn good dancer. I didn't know that these things made me who I was. I just saw them as things I could do and I loved doing them until I was made to feel uncomfortable doing them for numerous reasons stemming from thise few people. In some cases I voluntarily relinquished a talent because of my own codependancy issues. My gifts were replaced by alcohol and hollow smiles followed by regret and depression. I used to dream a lot as a youngen but that stopped and im not saying that life is a nightmare but i life without dreams is life in wait of death. This is the life of an empty shell. Its like burning alive but much slower.
"Beautiful things sometimes come out of shells" True and sometimes they're taken out of their shells but either way an empty shell is just an empty shell looking for a home to call its hell.
My name is Cristol 😂 Been with my narc for 20 years. Starting to learn more about NPD. Thought i was crazy 🤪 But i was being gaslit the whole time. I've got stories upon stories. Thanks for your help.
@@KcMedra do not waste your breath praying for every evil being that crossed your path. Not everyone is meant to change and some people are just doing exactly what they were designed by the devil to do.
Empty shells are good for two things. Collecting and rejecting. The truth is that you're not empty but suppressed or better recessed. Deep within your shell up in the attic or donw in the basement is a small volatile box that you stuffed everything into despite it not fitting.
Thanks for making this clear Lee. I am protecting my heart. My ex narc relationship ripped it out shredded it and for the past two years I have gathered those pieces and sewn them together. There are scars that are still noticeable but I will diligently cover them with healing cream and little by little they will be less present❤
Becoming a "shell of your former self" means that you are left empty and hollow. Nothing left inside. A husk. They took everything from you and left just the shell.
This is so true! I found myself rushed into a teenage marriage where I was treated like a shiny new commodity by my 'new family'. I was immediately made to work and prove myself to be as successful and materialistic as them. The pressure was everywhere, from everyone. My voice, my essence was going to be ruined. So I withdrew into my shell, protected myself and kept all of my thoughts to myself. After the divorce with new people I was me again
Im absolutely not myself. I forgot who I am. I’m so depressed and so tired of being told I’m crazy. He makes me believe I’m crazy. My heart is black. 💔💔
Thank you for this transformative language!!! I thought he won because he made me an empty shell of a person, but actually, he didn't win because I'm a shell of my former self.... I never used to have any armour hence I was a victim of two Narcs! Now I'm a shell of a former self; I'm protected and no Narc can touch me!!! My shell is glittery and made of mother of pearl.... Gorgeous but STRONG!!!! 💪🏼🐚🛡️
You may feel desolate and empty but the narcissist is the only shell devoid of empathy and genuine emotions other than anger and loathing. You get away and you will reblossom something the narcissist can never do
You lose your easiness. When I think back I once was very sportive and did a lot outside in the nature. But then there was nothing like this anymore. I really become depressive - I didn´t want to go out (I didn´t make sense to me). And the most problematic I didn´t felt seen (you know my wishes, my problems ... I was not just a cleaner or something (I was really treated like that) - I am a human being and not shit... (Sadly narcissists make you feel this way). Now I slowly come back from the ashes so to say (it is a difficult road). Imagine long time zero sports and then you go ice-skating (I did)... I can tell you first I felt oh my god - no way but after a short distance I improved and I am sure I did well... It was really fun because once it was one of my favorite sports. (Me and my children did it - it was fun!)...
Lee.. I definitely came on here with another perspective buttt you've changed that in just a few moments.. Thank you sooo very much 😊 🥹🙏🏽🙏🏽🫶🏽 I receive that 🙌🏽 🙏🏽
Your not alone, his mom dead , he tried to say we looked and act alike. It’s far from the truth. He kept pushing it I wouldn’t accept it. He had issued with her he was trying to put on me.
Because narcissists have never individuated and separated from their mothers. Having an intimate partner is all about replaying this failed process with a "substitute mother" and hoping for a better outcome this time (becoming their own individual, which means separating from mother - hence the devaluation and discard by the narcissist). Unfortunately it never works and the narcissist is doomed to repeat the same futile process with multiple partners throughout his life.
As soon as one feels those inner and outer arteries starting to harden, time to cut all emotional ties. Fare thee well oh stagnant one; enjoy life as a crab. Time to get on the boat and head out…
Yeah..😊we are Turtles!!! Thats why we have our shells. We are Ninja Turtles!!!!!!. I am Leonardo, which one are you??and you?....and you.?....and you?....and you?✌
Feeling like dinosaur's egg after the video 😅🤭. Shell protects something valuable, if you have diamond ring and you are surrounded by thiefs you don't want them to know what you have. Being a scapegoat child, I was not allowed to have identity. Now at 28 I am discovering I have personality behind defense mechanisms. It's slow process but some never get there and believe others false narratives.
I don't think you understand. The shell isn't a good thing. The narc strips away all your happiness and light. Things that would make you happy in the past just seem blah now. They destroyed your light and personality.
I heard you, but i can't help but to feel like you're kind of working with the opps by putting us in the know about narcissistic ppl. I know they are maaaad at you lol
![Six Hundred Strike [EPIC: The Musical] Full Animatic](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/zov6NXIAuow/mqdefault.jpg)
I did become a shell. But I am now post -shell. It took a hell of a long time.
I actually never liked myself at all until the last narcissist delivered the final blow. Then went through a period of grief, of being a shell. Then went "this won't happen again." Did the therapy and reading and am still doing the work. And now I actually like myself for the first time. Halfway through my life.
I'm actually cool as hell and I was the entire time, and I had no idea.
So... It can really be a blessing in disguise. Sometimes hard luck can really be the kick in the pants you need to uncover the giant open wound that's running your entire engine and excising that thing so you now run the show, not the hurting kiddo that lives in your soul.
I relate to this so much!! 🩷
My thoughts when i hear "shell of your former self"?
I was a writer, musician, pencil artist, stage singer and a pretty damn good dancer. I didn't know that these things made me who I was. I just saw them as things I could do and I loved doing them until I was made to feel uncomfortable doing them for numerous reasons stemming from thise few people. In some cases I voluntarily relinquished a talent because of my own codependancy issues.
My gifts were replaced by alcohol and hollow smiles followed by regret and depression.
I used to dream a lot as a youngen but that stopped and im not saying that life is a nightmare but i life without dreams is life in wait of death.
This is the life of an empty shell.
Its like burning alive but much slower.
"Beautiful things sometimes come out of shells"
True and sometimes they're taken out of their shells but either way an empty shell is just an empty shell looking for a home to call its hell.
Autsch, that hurt! Sorry 🥺
My name is Cristol 😂 Been with my narc for 20 years. Starting to learn more about NPD. Thought i was crazy 🤪 But i was being gaslit the whole time. I've got stories upon stories. Thanks for your help.
Cristol. Out of compassion I question has time come to cocoon and caterpilar?
You don't gotta call then crazy neither pray for them 🙏 God can change anyone or anything in this life so yea 😌✋️
@@KcMedra do not waste your breath praying for every evil being that crossed your path. Not everyone is meant to change and some people are just doing exactly what they were designed by the devil to do.
Empty shells are good for two things. Collecting and rejecting.
The truth is that you're not empty but suppressed or better recessed. Deep within your shell up in the attic or donw in the basement is a small volatile box that you stuffed everything into despite it not fitting.
Thanks for making this clear Lee. I am protecting my heart. My ex narc relationship ripped it out shredded it and for the past two years I have gathered those pieces and sewn them together. There are scars that are still noticeable but I will diligently cover them with healing cream and little by little they will be less present❤
Becoming a "shell of your former self" means that you are left empty and hollow. Nothing left inside. A husk. They took everything from you and left just the shell.
That’s where the transformational vocabulary comes in
This is so true! I found myself rushed into a teenage marriage where I was treated like a shiny new commodity by my 'new family'. I was immediately made to work and prove myself to be as successful and materialistic as them. The pressure was everywhere, from everyone. My voice, my essence was going to be ruined. So I withdrew into my shell, protected myself and kept all of my thoughts to myself. After the divorce with new people I was me again
WOW 🎉 WHAT A perceptive person YOU ARE!
Im absolutely not myself. I forgot who I am. I’m so depressed and so tired of being told I’m crazy. He makes me believe I’m crazy. My heart is black. 💔💔
You have to reach out to people who knew you before you met the narcissist. Remember who you are
Thank you for this transformative language!!! I thought he won because he made me an empty shell of a person, but actually, he didn't win because I'm a shell of my former self.... I never used to have any armour hence I was a victim of two Narcs!
Now I'm a shell of a former self; I'm protected and no Narc can touch me!!! My shell is glittery and made of mother of pearl.... Gorgeous but STRONG!!!! 💪🏼🐚🛡️
Thank you, that’s a beautiful perspective . I never looked at it that way🥰. Your a blessing 🙏🏽
You are so welcome
You may feel desolate and empty but the narcissist is the only shell devoid of empathy and genuine emotions other than anger and loathing. You get away and you will reblossom something the narcissist can never do
Lee, I am again Amazed ✨✨ at the quality of your work. Appreciate you and the message today 🤝🌞✨
Thank you
I have had to retreat inside my Cancer 🦀 shell a few times to get out alive. Soul intact 🙌🏽❤️💯
And thank you Lee. Once again you saved my sanity ❤❤
You have taught me sooo much. Thank you !!!!!
You are so welcome!
You lose your easiness. When I think back I once was very sportive and did a lot outside in the nature. But then there was nothing like this anymore. I really become depressive - I didn´t want to go out (I didn´t make sense to me). And the most problematic I didn´t felt seen (you know my wishes, my problems ... I was not just a cleaner or something (I was really treated like that) - I am a human being and not shit... (Sadly narcissists make you feel this way). Now I slowly come back from the ashes so to say (it is a difficult road). Imagine long time zero sports and then you go ice-skating (I did)... I can tell you first I felt oh my god - no way but after a short distance I improved and I am sure I did well... It was really fun because once it was one of my favorite sports. (Me and my children did it - it was fun!)...
Thank you Lee! You are such a blessing! I needed to hear this! ❤❤
You are so welcome
I have definitely used that term, but I will consider it armor from now on!!! I am victorious walking away from the narcissist!
‼️‼️
Lee.. I definitely came on here with another perspective buttt you've changed that in just a few moments.. Thank you sooo very much 😊 🥹🙏🏽🙏🏽🫶🏽 I receive that 🙌🏽 🙏🏽
🙏🏽🙏🏽
Come out the other side a brave, beautiful , bold butterfly
🦋
Yes I did but I'm becoming a stronger more empowered woman
💪
But the shell could be seen as an empty shell, like being hollowed out, nothing left inside.
That’s where the transformational vocabulary comes in
The thought is ME! A shell of my former self!
Nice switch in perspective
🙏
I love this Playlist Lee. Thank you for this!!
Thanks for listening
It's just another way of saying "a shadow of my former self", we all know the meaning of it.
He was desperately trying to turn me into his mom. Why? 🤔
Your not alone, his mom dead , he tried to say we looked and act alike. It’s far from the truth. He kept pushing it I wouldn’t accept it. He had issued with her he was trying to put on me.
Could be he had emotional incest with her.
Because he is stupid!
Trauma perhaps
Because narcissists have never individuated and separated from their mothers. Having an intimate partner is all about replaying this failed process with a "substitute mother" and hoping for a better outcome this time (becoming their own individual, which means separating from mother - hence the devaluation and discard by the narcissist). Unfortunately it never works and the narcissist is doomed to repeat the same futile process with multiple partners throughout his life.
As soon as one feels those inner and outer arteries starting to harden, time to cut all emotional ties. Fare thee well oh stagnant one; enjoy life as a crab. Time to get on the boat and head out…
Great Great Great teaching analogy !!
Comming out of the cocoon is called eclosion. I actually have a poem called eclosion ❤
I love how you put this!
I'm torn up is what it means rotted me piece by piece and says I'm pathetic..IM PATHETIC
Great metaphor ❤
Deepest condolences & apologies for missing links & misunderstandings misinterpreted . Gentleness & Comforts. in protecting & caring for our hearts🙇♀️
😊
Yeah..😊we are Turtles!!! Thats why we have our shells. We are Ninja Turtles!!!!!!. I am Leonardo, which one are you??and you?....and you.?....and you?....and you?✌
Feeling like dinosaur's egg after the video 😅🤭.
Shell protects something valuable, if you have diamond ring and you are surrounded by thiefs you don't want them to know what you have. Being a scapegoat child, I was not allowed to have identity. Now at 28 I am discovering I have personality behind defense mechanisms. It's slow process but some never get there and believe others false narratives.
No I have not become a shell of myself from narcissistic abuse. What didn’t kill me has only made me stronger.
Aww lee it is like being reborn
But it doesn't cause this amount of pain , the sometimes un fixable parts
I told him when i left I CHOOSE me!
Heyyy Lee
👋
Life changes Feeling empty
👊👊COWABUNGA!!!!!🔥🔥🔥🔥
Its scary ass HELL
I don't think you understand. The shell isn't a good thing. The narc strips away all your happiness and light. Things that would make you happy in the past just seem blah now. They destroyed your light and personality.
You are a tad bit too smart Lee lol 🔥
I try 😆
👍
If that title isn’t painfully accurate
Turtles in a half shell, turtle power!! 😆💚🐢✨ Hahaha. Another amazing episode, my guru! 💚💚
I heard you, but i can't help but to feel like you're kind of working with the opps by putting us in the know about narcissistic ppl. I know they are maaaad at you lol
🤭🤭🤭
The most worse