Ever Wonder What it's Like Being Autistic?
HTML-код
- Опубликовано: 30 сен 2024
- Ever wonder if you are autistic? It's so much more complicated than this, but you should get the idea. Please do not start breaking traffic laws. This story is entirely made up.
#actuallyautistic #neurodivergent #autism #autismawareness #asd #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #adhd #nd #autistic #writerscommunity #therapysession #therapist
I need allistic people to know that hearing this story as an autistic person doubles the stress. Because I know how allistic authority figures see my autistic traits (lack of eye contact, fidgeting, etc) as suspicious, and when I thought it was a real story I was waiting for him to be arrested or fined more for “arguing with an officer”
I guys I can so relate to this and I'm female, it's like being a dog I think, no matter how much you bark or wine they just don't understand what your trying to say or why. And they always blame you kick you, tell you to shut up or put you out. O got fined the other day I've been asking all the authorities for months either they don't know the answers, no one has time or it's a secret and all signed is so high up , like who looks at the sky when they walking along I have to pay attention to the floor so as not to fall in public and navigate the people I look kinda up for that but who is 2 meters tall. I understand.
I always get followed in stores, I assume because my body language makes me suspicious. I am always high anxiety, nervous and I don't make eye contact. I'm also cognizant that I'm always in someone's way and I don't like that feeling because we've been made to feel that we're always in the wrong. The perpetual I am sorry that we are always saying to neurotypicals as if they run the world and we are somehow subservient to them
I have an ex brother-in-law who is a police officer. I can absolutely affirm there is an entire club of people who must follow the law and others for whom the law has grey areas. It is sad to have to say this, but I know how this club works, and you are not allowed to ask questions, argue, or ask for clarification. Be careful.
Because that police officer is an ex brother-in-law, I am no longer part of the family and therefore on a hit list of sorts. To anyone reading my comment, just know that police use databases in unethical ways and you don't want your name to end up on a blacklist.
Being autistic these kind of social justice issues are difficult to remain silent over. I believe the world would be a much better place if autistic people ran the world instead of neurotypicals.
Very very much my response too - I thought it was either not true (as it made no sense) or he was about to be arrested or worse. 💀
@@KarenDUlrichhi, to your comment about the world being better if autistic people ran it? I can't agree. My ex and ex father in law are both autistic (as am I) and both are incredibly entitled and abusive - my ex more quietly manipulative and my ex FIL more overly and loudly abusive. Autistic people can be terrible too ❤️🩹
The feeling of not knowing how to find out what you need to know sums it up so well. For me it often spirals into an automatic assumption that other people know more about most situations. Makes it hard to be sure of myself.
Yes me too. I always assume others r more competent than me. Sometimes I fail to mention things I should have when I notice them because I think they must know that
In both love and hate this video. Lol. It’s so freaking accurate and amazingly spot on. But I was also sooooo invested and had so many questions about the stop signs.
I'm shocked, the almighty algorithm actually pointed me at a relevant and useful video! This is also my #ActuallyAutistic experience too - that there are uncountably many "unwritten rules" - and that even if someone wrote them down, there's no way to remember them all and apply them in all the different situations they apply in. The rules (written or not) either "make sense" to me, in which case I don't break them because my own actions wouldn't make sense - or they don't make sense to me, in which case there's almost no way I will remember them. As I've grown up, what makes sense to me has grown in nuance, based on my own expansion of rules that "make sense". But it's so hard, it takes so much energy to interact with people who expect you to operate on a baseline that just doesn't match where you're at, like, at all.
Yeah it does, and also I feel resentful about having to conform to the expectations, like especially in conversation like small talk. Don't ask how I am if u don't want me to tell u some real stuff, sorry but that's a you problem in my view
What you describe sounds similar to (though, or course, not exactly the same as) the experiences that People of Color have when being targeted by racism (both generally, and with the police). That is, in such situations, you can see that you are being treated differently, but when you ask for an explanation for this discrepancy, the response you are given is clearly casuistry. I never made this connection before, but it is helpful and interesting (and sad). Thank you!
For me, it’s more like I pass through a green light and am pulled over and ticketed for inconveniencing another driver who wanted to run a red light.
Great analogy, but I truly feel that the police officer was just lying to avoid accountability. Autistic people better understand when "laws" are being unfairly applied, and a lot of people who present neurotypical really don't have the impetus or the bandwidth to process injustices outright. It's frightening and feels like a form of social su*cide to them. Everything is about the hierarchy: appeasing it, winning it over, maintaining your spot, etc. In this situation, the police officer is the authority. Pointing out an injustice or inconsistency in his application of the law both inconveniences him and threatens his assumed position of superiority. Lying about the why of what he did moves things along quickly and in his favor, and also gives him the pleasure of subjugating you/making you feel inferior, thereby reifying his sense of superior social standing.
Reminder: this story is made up. There was no officer in this scenario.
It’s told this way so that it feels equally frustrating to allistic people. But in social situations, “optional stop signs” is 100% a thing.
I highly suspect my bf is on the spectrum and sorry if this offends some people. I’m not trying to diagnose him just trying to understand him so we can have a better chance at a relationship. It makes sense why we don’t understand each other. Many times when we get into an agreement he’s like “what am I missing here” Listening to videos like these make me love him more and gives me the patience to cope with our misunderstandings. He’s my life!❤
Not every autistic person has every single one of the autism traits, and that doesn't nullify their diagnosis. In the same vein, neurotypical people can have traits that are common among autistic people without really qualifying for a diagnosis. Does not make those traits not real, or not hard to deal with. Learning more about the traits you see in your partner, from those that tend to have them, seems perfectly reasonable to me!
It broke my brain when you said it was all made up. Interesting example though.
In my area, which is a small town (1200ish population). People do this! Yield signs are often ignored, and some stop signs are treated like yield signs here. I could actually see this happening...
So interesting! Towards the end of the video, I was coming to the comments to tell you there's no such thing as optional stop signs and you were right to feel frustrated. But wow it sounds exhausting, so interesting. Thanks for sharing.
This is a brilliant analogy. I relate to this so much. I'm a late diagnosis with BPD & PTSD, but I truly believe they missed an ASD diagnosis in me, because this has been my life experience for the last 40+ years. I always feel lost. Thank you for this.
Yeah u could have ASD. Have u found lots of neurodivergent people that u relate to? It's so cool seeing people that u really understand so much
This was great . I always add, stop signs with the white line around the edge are optional . That makes neurotypicals question everything 😅
I feel this so hard. Things that I assumed I knew, then realized i didn't know, and it's telling in that my level of anxiety as i become less confident in my understanding of the world in general becomes higher and higher to the point I now find it hard to function in roles that I once could do with ease. It's honestly exhausting.
Such an awesome way of putting it man, really need to get this out there!
you did your job too well because, and maybe this is the autism talking, now I'm just thinking about stop signs being "discretional." I was getting really angry on your behalf lol
Ha ha. This is my life. Magic, undisclosed rules that don’t really make sense.
You made it up😂. I was invested
Great way to explain it.
So beautifully explained in a way I’ve never experienced before and feel I now have a better understanding. Thank you!
Honestly if this happened to me I would start recording the conversation and then I would try to bring it to any kind of authority I could to figure out why I got the fine. I've got a feeling that that rule doesn't hold up in actual court
See, I'm like 99% sure that would be a case of selective enforcement where the officer is just straight-up lying. He didn't actually explain how to see the differences between them and I have to assume that that means that he's giving YOU a ticket because it's the easiest way for him to move on with his day.
I would have gotten into an argument with him, and probably recorded his explanation so that I would have something to give to the judge/lawyer about this because I would be SO MAD. You don't just get to say that *some rules* don't apply *sometimes* without further explanation. That probably would have gotten me arrested or given extra fines because they wouldn't know how to handle me being upset that they can't explain their own 'rules'. Ugh.
This was the video that sealed the deal. It feels like everyone is in on this big secret.
Absolutely!
I spent the first 65 of my 66 years trying to figure out why I was "wrong". Now, with my diagnosis, I look forward to my next 65 years of discovering what's RIGHT!
Thank you for your content! ⚘
Take truck driving school! then Join the army and become a truck driver there, too. Then, after they train you, they will tell you that you can't drive for 24 hours because you wont be acclimated to traffic.
the 24 hour rule is a rule for most people who get trained by the army I think, but it was a little insulting after they gave me my fifth specialized driving license then told me I cant be trusted to drive for a day.
no wayy,,, this is infuriating to listen to😬 ahhh it was fake, i hoped so😌but it's the perfect metaphor, many relates.
tbh i'm so uncertain about how nt world works that i could totally imagine this being the case in some countries. i mean informal driving conventions Are arbitrarily different in different countries so
Thank you for sharing such a validating description for those of us who feel this way!
Though I wonder if it's too generous to believe that it would explain it those who don't.
I've been coming to terms with the understanding that the desire to know what one doesn't know is exactly the thing that makes one autistic.
Others either shrug and moves on never to think of it again, or else try to leverage whatever advantage they feel they have in order to just make others "know" their way.
Honestly it sounds like the police officer thought you should know better because you appear to be a man and was letting the woman off the hook because he didn’t consider her competent. It’s some bullshit, there are no optional stop signs.
O wow very nice way to sum it up. Yes what is it I don't know, a lot of times I feel like I'm playing a very nonfun guessing game
Sorry, i was too distracted by the idea of optional stop signs that i couldn't get past that. Anyone else? 😂 I did watch the entire video but that example still makes no sense to me whatsoever
Wow, I'm on the spectrum and this is an accurate analogy for how it is for me, too.
Yep, yep, yes. That. Why do I do all the things and have different results? Autism diagnosis explained so much for me.
And on top of all of this, you had to teach yourself how to drive by watching everyone else because apparently you were sick the day driving lessons were given.
yeah, everyone just knows what the signs mean and you can figure out some of them, but there are just so MANY
@@nesnibila4888 haha exactly. Like you can figure out what a lot of them mean if you really think about it, and some of them are obvious, but some of them are just impossible. You encounter them very rarely, and a lot of the time, you don’t even see them.
@@derp195 and to take the analogy even further, they go by so fast!😅
So, are there actually discretionary Stop signs in the US or not?
I feel this so hard
And this is the type of thing that makes me not want to even bother getting my license.
Record the cops so when they say stupid shit like that you can take it to court.
Totally, yup.
Sooo accurate !!! ❤
Nailed it.
Isn't there a sign for a discretionary stop sign? Isn't that just called a yield sign.
I've not finished the video yet, but I really hope that comes up 😅
Acab
i really like your videos and you are a good role model for people.
i would’ve argued too. but the issue is that while he’s “talking to you like you’re stupid,” you imply that he’s not doing his job right by questioning him at all. it’s a known thing not to question them. i’ve done it several times anyway and finally got detained for a couple hours once bc of mouthing off.
it’s really annoying. everyone else doesn’t actually “know.” everyone is pissed and would feel self righteous and that this was unfair. it’s how we act as an autistic person about it that sets us apart.
* she’s a woman and will get better treatment
* cops almost universally hate being questioned
* traffic incident faults are not decided on the spot but by the insurance companies
despite KNOWING these things^ i can’t help myself but to goldfish brain into following the “rules” my brain has for the world and fairness, always overriding what i know to be true of social norms. the less sleep/executive function, the worse. and frustration short circuits executive function and i just get into argumentative mode.
“You imply he’s not doing his job right”
Nope. No. Already, no. Asking clarifying questions is important, especially so when it comes to *the law.* If someone questions WHY something is decided the way it is, it’s so they can better understand it. Allistic people taking basic questions the wrong way isn’t something we can control